Dealing with BITTERNESS after deconversion

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Ending music by Kazuya / Eyal Raz, "Friends"
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• Friends
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[@DM-zq8qy]

I am past the bitterness (after 6 years of growth.) I moved on to BETTER subjects to study that have REAL meaning and real BENEFITS in life. ☮️❤️😀 Yes! FORGIVENESS!

[@EchoToVoice]

Deconverting in midlife has been absolutely a mental and emotional roller-coaster. Some hope, a lot of grief, still trying to find a healthy spot between nihism and whatever resembles joy.

[@fayezzles]

I’m with ya. Hang in there. ❤

[@latenitehvac868]

You can do this. I’m 8 months out it’s been fucked

[@ashleytheseeker8480]

Did it in my late 30s, thought i wouldnt survive 😂 the tears, the anger, resentment, the hard truths

[@yobyob9369]

Yea sometimes I dont think about it but there are moments have so much regret. Thank goodness there is so much info out there to help younger people get out sooner than much later in life.

[@SAginas-v2p]

Apologies for so many comments! I needed to hear this today. 😥 I felt like I was slowly suffocating, like I literally didn't want to live anymore ... and hearing this message today gave me that breath of much needed air. Thank you!

[@jrush8340]

My emotion is sadness, to the point of depression. I'm an outsider in the world I live in. I have to work hard to find out who I am without Christianity..

[@ashleytheseeker8480]

I understand. I just turned 40 and still trying o figure out who i am without islam. Islam was my personality

[@Mim39034]

Great talk, Tim! Your daughter is a sweetheart and so pretty ❤️ Personally my bitterness and anger comes from an abusive, traumatic childhood which ended.up stealing years of my life. Whats odd is how those who have suffered religious trauma appear to be affected in ways very similar to.myself, but abuse is abuse and it comes in many forms. I am still very angry though at the way I was treated by the person who converted me. I was just a project and not a person to them and that hurt me incredibly deep. I doubt they have any idea (and never will have) just how much. I doubt they would care either way to be honest. My advice (which I should take myself 😁) is: Live your life now, true to your authentic self. You know who are in your heart and what you:re worth. Don't lett what these people did steal away any more of your joy. And never let another person take from you in the same way again! It's time to put yourself first.

[@MrRezillo]

Honestly, I was going to just skip over this vid and do something else, but I'm glad I didn't. Your words are profound and helpful. I don't have a deconversion story, because I only got "saved" for a couple months, LOL. But you're discussing some universal truths here. And what a beautiful little girl you have! Peace be with you.

[@StevenMyers-wx6du]

I was 60 when I left the faith in 2017. I guess better late than never. Fortunately, I didn’t waste time lamenting the past; just making the best of what time I have left. Your daughter is adorable, but you already knew that.❤

[@curtispenland1636]

Tim, I empathize with what you are going through in your marital relationship and your life with your children. I respect you for breaking the unfortunate common traditions of theological narcissism. Your children have an opportunity to learn, by your example, of self-care, and experience a wonderful future. Thank you for all that you do.

[@matthewgodbee9141]

It's like Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind. His delusion felt so real. He felt important doing his decoding for a most important cause. It consumed his life. In reality it was all b.s ! It's hard coming out. It can be confusing and depressing, wanting to go back. Near the end he asked, what do people do? They live their ordinary lives. It's life. Hey, take care of yourselves and your loved ones! ❤

[@Bryan198026]

And from what I hear he's a whackadoo in real life too.

[@therealexistentialist]

Deconversion is so so hard. Just like healing trauma after abuse.

[@melissalopez302]

I needed to hear this so long ago. Ur helping more people than u know

[@sharia.king-trahan28]

Thank you. I didn’t think I was bitter until recently a woman I know told all her friends, me included that she is going to church and found god. Then I realized yes, I’m bitter. I’m working on it.

[@Rocknroller22]

Thank you so much Tim. Needed this so much today.

[@ofbelair67]

Im getting stuck ruminating and feeling bittersweet in my healing

[@StarseedShan]

Best wishes for your unsticking!! Takes a lot of wiggling and jiggling to get out of a rut. You can do it : )

[@stevenbolin7688]

Enjoy your babies,they grow up so quickly

[@emmatessier600]

they're so cute!!

[@LuzAquino-w1j]

I try to keep it real I was trap for over 45 years believing in something that is not true, I think what hurts is that I try to influence others to believe that crazy stuff now I feel free and my nightmares are over ❤

[@calldwnthesky6495]

another great share Tim... thank you much

[@_S0me__0ne]

Forgiveness is key, but it can take time. No, a person shouldn't dwell in anger, resentment, and bitterness forever, but I do think it's important to sit in that bitterness for a while, though making use of it. To think things through. Forgiveness is powerful and strange. It releases the hold someone has over us, often without them even knowing or caring. And, forgiving ourselves releases the hold those emotions have over ourselves.

[@jane9469]

Your kids are so, so lucky to have a dad like you. My mother is an evangelical christian Trump supporter, and my dad bailed on my family. I am very bitter tonight.

[@jane9469]

Your channel is a lifeline sometimes

[@StarseedShan]

You got me laughing out loud, Tim! You've gotta be enjoying yourself here, cuz this is a ton of fun on this side of the screen. Love to revel in some mirth and irony.

[@JamesGillert-x6o]

Really connected with this one.

[@toluene21]

I’m angry; duped; purity culture did a number; so much time and growth lost; the abuse

[@guyversesgirlarmwrestlinga7067]

Awwwww, it's so adorable you got your little daughter in the backseat watching you. She is adorable. Keep treating her with kindness.

[@Jon45678]

She is cool. She’s got daddy wrapped around her finger 😎

[@Crimenocerous]

Man, Tim, you did good on this one. One of the things that makes me resentful is the feeling that so many people around you DO know that it’s like Santa Clause but you’re just not supposed to talk about it. They just want you to keep going along with it because that’s what you’re supposed to do, that’s what they do, and to admit you could be right is to admit to themselves they could have done it differently too and that’s too hard to face.

[@aubreyleonae4108]

Really glad to hear this topic, I really don't hear much about it. Thank you, it is more difficult than people realize.

[@Jon45678]

It doesn’t help anyone to stay in a victim state, although it’s not easy when you were actually victimized. I try to remember that Christians are sincere as I was. To quote Shawshank Redemption: it’s time to get busy living or get busy dye-ing.

[@stannamichelleslater5625]

Great video on a very relevant topic for some of us!

[@John-sl3lu]

Great video mate .❤❤❤🫡🫡🫡

[@kyle9777]

It's difficult when it just didn't make sense, it messed me up worried about condemnation or unforgivable sin, I was fine way before this,

[@SAginas-v2p]

Every now and again, I get disgusted with how I treated others, under the delusion of thinking I was trying to "save them" from hell... I try to forgive myself and remind myself that I did so with what I believed were good intentions. But now I look online and see that same attitude coming from other christians, and it sickens me! I almost can't be angry at them because it seems hypocritical... yet at the same time, I see the hurt and damage that it does to others. Sometimes, I just try to stay out of the comment sections altogether... but that curious nature makes you just wanna have a quick peek. 👀 🙈😂

[@iw9338]

The many losses 😮and healing 😅

[@BurteYohannes-z7e]

I am from ethiopia and deconstructing. It is so hard.

[@calldwnthesky6495]

want to add that yes, it's definitely good to forgive. it makes it much easier when you realize that your parents and their parents etc. were bamboozled too. worse than yourself. it actually makes me angry that people of prior generations were so abused by other apes wielding so-called "authority". abused by people who wanted power and needed to control others to get it. and they wanted generation after generation to produce more slaves... more minions. there are people in power who don't care about anything except keeping their power center alive and thriving. and they will lie, cheat, steal, AND KILL to get what they want. religion is a part of this. it is used around much of the world to aid in the subjugation of mass numbers of people. nation states can be the very same way. in fact, i'd argue that nation states are very very similar in structure to religions. centralized power and authority. they spend billions to keep people under their thumb. they get people while they're young... instill fear into them. fear of hell and/or fear of being outcast. shove narratives down their throats over and over and over saying "we're the good guys - trust us - we'll take care of you". or "god" will take care of you... because we sure as hell won't when push comes to shove. the worst is religious nationalism... it's the joining of two centers of power meant to utterly dominate the masses. you Tim, are fighting against this more than me, more than a lot of people... and i respect you greatly for that.

[@wernerstapela4616]

You've lost nothing, there's only upside. As for those who laid it all on you and kept you in it, let me use a biblical quote: for they know not what they do. Few religious folk (extremists excluded) lay it on you out of pure malice.

[@Claudi333]

🐈😽💖

[@SAginas-v2p]

The funny thing is, I wasn't even in christianity for very long. I can't even count it in years (more like months), but when I tried it... I felt like a bull in a China shop... wreaking havoc with its hellfire threats wherever I went. 🫣😫 Now, when someone talks to me about 'god/creator'... I find myself wanting to distance myself as fast as I can.