Dealing With My BIGGEST Insecurity

[@VandimFerreira]

As a male cyclist myself, I can say that all my insecurities about anything disappeared from years walking into public places wearing nothing but lycra and shaved legs. There is nothing more reassuring than this.

[@jozsefizsak]

For sure! You do get ridiculed occasionally, but only by people who know nothing about proper cycling, so that's fine.

[@MrPlayerPerson]

As a cyclist, I wear black lycra shorts and a tee shirt and I shave my legs, but I have never been ridiculed or made fun of when I'm out cycling. As a musician, I have always made a point to wear a suit with a loose tie and I try to make my shows an event. I am not a fashion guru or a stylish person, but I try to buy well-made clothes and that fit properly. I sometimes splurge and go to the Thrift store to search for bargain Hugo Boss, Versace, or Armani shirts and pants, but mostly I look for clothes that look good, are reasonably priced, and fit well. I guess the adage of dress for success is quite important in the music and film industry. Wear what makes you happy and dress appropriately for events and shows!

[@peterlewis3621]

@@MrPlayerPerson As a male (previous) London cycle courier, i would agree.

[@Slinkypossum]

As a cyclist that has participated in 3 decades of races...you say goodbye to all the embarrassment every time you find yourself 90% naked in a parking lot before or after a race 😊

[@gwaptiva]

I've cycled my entire life and never changed clothes for it

[@xealzy944]

I’ve always admired Elvis Presley’s style. I personally believe that he’s the most influential fashion icon to exist. He popularised colourful blazers, baggy pants, sideburns, the pompadour, mens rings, etc. Even later in his career in Vegas he popularised jumpsuits. How can you not watch the ‘68 Comeback Special and see Elvis in an all black leather outfit not want a piece of that?

[@frankboyd.]

He rocked in his gold suit.

[@tonyroberts7481]

I’d have said David Bowie but fair enough.

[@jeremywilliams703]

Black T, through the week, crisp white shirt under my Martin, Strat or Gretch. The black waist coat adds a touch of Quo or Buble, depends on the tune. Works for me. ✌️❤️🙏🇦🇺

[@garyarmstrong9542]

As for your subject on how it feels to not feel comfortable in your own skin Mary...I relate. I was an amateur musician for many years. I overcame it by simply being better than the next guy! It was the only weapon I had! Now I can look back on many years of making lots of fine music and never having to rely on my looks. The rest of them can kiss my ass! Don't worry about them Miss Spencer...you're good...hands down madam! Sometimes it's also about defiance!

[@brutuslaurentius8729]

I love your music, the fact you have a great sense of humor about yourself, and because you're just very genuine and thoughtful. That said, for things that matter, I have others pick my clothes also. Nothing wrong with that! I've done a ton of public speaking engagements where I'm expected to speak for an hour or so, and I'll admit I'm a bit less nervous if I'm wearing something other than my usual clothes when doing it.

[@MartijnHover]

Honestly, it never bothered me that you wore T-shirts and jeans. 🙂

[@kevinb3812]

As a high school and young college guy, I liked the confident, short-haired version of Roger Daltrey in the early eighties and wanted to be like him. Now I can appreciate anyone who makes a bit of effort, as long as it doesn't interfere with their flow on stage. Cripplingly high heels seem so bad to wear day-in and day-out. Prince was so cool, but those heels did a number on him physically. No one should have to suffer for their art, male or female alike!

[@micahcabrera4637]

Appreciate/admire your candor, but you always look fly, Mary.

[@joshyaks]

I'm 46 years old and currently have my hair styled in a red/orange mohawk, so needless to say the punk scene has had a big influence on me and my look!

[@hawg427]

Hey, Johnny Cash wore Black all the time. I Loved the way Stevie Nicks dresses on stage.

[@ChrisTian-rm7zm]

I like the styles of INXS in the "Elegantly Wasted" video.

[@awkipintee]

Interesting as always and that’s a great jacket!

[@TangerineMagazeen]

standing in the spotlight by dee dee king is a fantastic album

[@joeyk5876]

I think there’s a saying, that says “the clothes make the man“. But you’re not a man. I could not imagine the pressure of being a woman in the entertainment industry. Your wardrobe never really occurred to me. You always have great information, you play great, and I love to hear your voice. You’re kind of like a floating, smiling face with a guitar attached. I too dread the changing room. There’s nothing more embarrassing than having your mom parade you around in the department store as a kid. I think it’s great that you asked for help. With so much time spent on making music it’s hard to find the time for anything else. One of my other favorite sayings is “dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” You shouldn’t worry too much about it. You’re super talented and super cute stuff. You’ll find your way, your way.

[@karlvanbeckum9029]

PS- Well done, as always. 👏👏👏

[@cantamusquerbeat]

I doesn't matter what you wear, Mary, You're just the nicest person around and we all love you as you are!

[@DavidsonHartmanDecor]

hear hear

[@blogz]

Not only that. David Gilmour did pretty well in his black T-shirt and jeans... just sayin

[@guyincognito320]

Black t-shirts are for guitar store guys. I don't even think guys should wear them. It's a no-confidence piece of clothing. The same thing with buttons looks way nicer, and is often more airy under the warm glow of my computer screen.

[@ChristianGrafvNormann]

Dear Mary I don't know what amazes me more. Your profound and well researched knowledge on basically every subject you talk about on this channel. Or your magnificant voice and crystal clear pronouncian that just makes it a joy to listen to you. Thank you so very much!

[@mattw.6726]

To be honest, you always looked great in a black shirt and jeans. IMO, that look was approachable and down-to-earth; a real person and not some inhuman, porcelain icon. With that said, it's awesome that you've become more confident in your image and have been able to branch out.

[@zebfox011]

Hey Matt just to be on the safe side, please do not do anything that scammer says!

[@triplejazzmusicisall1883]

I agree completely. In mu post I mention that Mary has such a pretty face. That fact combined with an approachable down-to-earth that you mention does indeed make her as both an individual and a musician someone I am more interested in. I share your view about porcelain dolls and all that. Mary is real and likeable and very talented. What more does a fan need. However for many clothes etc...can be an extension of an artist's creativity and in such instances I think that is a plus not a negative. P.S. These scammers are everywhere these days.

[@BaBaBaBenny]

As chubby guy with a skin condition, I've often felt uncomfortable in my own skin. However, earlier this month I took to the stage for my band's big annual local headliner in a frilled cowboy shirt (inspired by Jack black in the opening of school of Rock) and I've honestly never felt like such a fucking rockstar. Great vid Mary!

[@_Messag__me_mary_spende]

📤Let’s talk⬆️

[@cockysonuvaB]

The "CLOTHES make THE MAN" as they say

[@isabt4]

Way to go! 😀

[@kevinb3812]

That's so cool! Own the rocker inside you!

[@natalievelasquez2664]

Bjork is someone who definitely blows my mind with her sense of expression; incredible visual album covers as well.

[@davidriggs8196]

As a newly minted 70 year old I wish that I had been as self assured in my 30's as you appear to be. Strange that our impressions of other people can be so misleading. Conversely one of the great things about being 70 is that you don't care about the things you worried about in your 30's. I hate to say it Mary - you are cool just as you are.

[@dtonesmith766]

✌️✌️Dont reply to this scam

[@EdHeinzelman]

Robert Palmer could easily be on this list too.

[@vze2gsgr]

It's a really nice jacket. Well done.

[@terenzo50]

Journalist: "Are you a mod or a rocker?" Ringo: "Umm, no, I'm a mocker."

[@brucelangsteiner4599]

So I guess Ralph Lauren shirts, Wrangler jeans, and Merrill hiking boots don't exactly scream "rock and roll?" Oh well, too old to change now! I always love your content, Mary. If your tour brings you to the mountain states in the U.S., please give Salt Lake City a try.

[@J0hnnybee]

I've always thought that Mary Spender looks cool in all her videos.

[@thoang101]

I subscribed to your channel because of your charisma and your interesting essay, of course. Your charisma is the biggest sell out so don't worry about what to wear, it may help but not much to my opinion.

[@Wolverine3660]

Mary, you are a great musician, so, you do not need to be insecure about anything. You are good at what you do, so dont let your own thoughts slow you down or stop you. Best of luck.

[@simontemplar3359]

Honestly, i always felt that the crossover into fashion is awful for music. People want to be their idols, but I have to admit every artist mentioned from Bowie to Gaga etc, no matter how haute couture they were or are, i find their music to be insufferable. And Vivienne Westwood did not pioneer the safety pin look with punk rock. That was Tom Verlaine after he got kicked to the curb by his ex who also cut up his clothes. That's the origin of the safety pin. Vivienne Westwood like Malcolm McLaren was a fraud who capitalized on subcultures they co-opted rather than creating. What I'm getting at is this: you are more interesting because you seem above the fashion crap. Think of the sex pistols: sid vicious was a clothes hanger without an original idea in his head, and that's johnny rotten's opinion! My point is fashion= fake.

[@robertgoyette5863]

i really like the simplicity of your look mary! whats most important is how they make you feel though!

[@craigclu]

Female image pressures/paranoia are unfortunate. You have a natural beauty and grace that comes across easily to your audience (both live and on-line). Celebrate it! Your age, while young, should have you avoiding overly trendy/teenie looks as that would simply be a distraction to the things you do so well. Cast any insecurities aside and celebrate your gifts. Part of what lets people connect so well with you is your natural, sincere, candid and approachable nature.

[@lonnymead8976]

Mary, you have so many wonderful qualities including being a guitar junkie which is why I find myself having a genuine crush every time I see you. I wouldn’t change a thing, you are beautiful just the way you are…

[@benketteridge9150]

How could you miss out Freddie Mercury? 😀

[@mikel3188]

Great video and topic Mary... Loved the image of Bowie on the streets of NY flipping off the photographers. LOL

[@TheBaaLambChampion]

Haven't watched Mary in a while! Is it just me, or does she sound like Adam Neely now? 😂

[@timothyclaffey9138]

Love that last photo of Bowie and his unmentioned gesture to whomever took that photo.

[@philn6052]

David Bowie's genius will shine brightly forever, watching from Canada. Maybe you're meant to be in a Black Tee and that's your style?!

[@nickx1754]

Interesting. This is an aspect of the music industry I haven't given much thought.

[@garycoates4987]

When I was in college I pretty much dressed like captain jack Sparrow,,, all the time pirate shirts and genie pants,,, one of my best friends pretty much dressed in black leather armor 24/7 , we were pretty much "goth" before anyone was really using the word "goth" , under the skin so to speak a lot of us feel like outcasts so the "look/persona" allows us to find ourselves and shine, I'm still sporting doc martens and a leather jacket in my fifties and break out the pirate shirts and my kilt for special occasions. Like your story sometimes an image can be contrived and pretentious but sometimes it's just so comfortable to be ,, I think that's maybe something you may not see in yourself that might also boost your confidence in your style(help from coaching or not) you always seem authentic to you and comfortable in your presence, you grab people's attention as a performer because of your inner confidence and strong presence. You really are a rockstar Mary

[@phantomcall]

you should really consider being a journalist or news caster, your voice is soo soothing

[@famatu]

yea it would fit like a VOX video or something

[@mattiasjp]

Bowie, always Bowie. If I can sprinkle a little Bowie on my look I’m happy. And Mary, you are beautiful. I’m happy to see you are decorating your beautiful self a little more. Cause that’s what our clothing and style is, decoration.

[@johndoyle325]

When younger, I suffered from terrible stage fright and was always focused on how I looked. There came a point when my will to be a performing musician overtook my insecurities, and at that point I know longer gave a crap about how I looked.

[@danmayberry1185]

Another brilliant essay, Mary. And don't worry, you and Elton put in your 10,000 hours before dressing up. Where there is substance beneath the style, we all get our money's worth.

[@sgommerable]

TRUTH

[@IniresMirrors]

Being pretty introverted, myself, and having had a lot of negative experience in school to reinforce it, in my late teens I developed a ridiculous style that took inspiration from early 80s Rob Halford, Alice Cooper, and Spawn, both for the stage with my metal band and for street clothes. (With it being the early-mid Aughts, the fashionable vintage was more 60s and 70s, at that point-at least where I lived.) It helped me to confront the judgment from others that I feared so much by visibly inviting it; sort of a way to expose any disdain people might have for me. Not a healthy way to see people, but that's where I was back then. As it turns out, most people are not so judgy as I feared, and the psychological trick I played on myself with that jacket helped me find the confidence to learn that about them. And it made me look more convincing as the frontman for a metal band. My style has definitely improved with age, but I regret (almost) nothing about my fashion choices back then.

[@scottkidwellmusic9175]

My philosophy on live gigs is that the audience paid to be entertained, and they deserve a show. It's much different playing solo acoustic these days, but in the days when I was playing bass in rock and metal bands, black cargo shirts, Doc Martens, and a variety of "loud" shirts; not to mention shaving my head (thanks, male-pattern baldness) and using hair dye in my beard. It was the 2000s, and somewhat expected... and it worked. Putting on the "uniform" helped get me in the mindset to perform. There may have been a bigger-than-life personna that I adopted, too. But, hey... bass players. Thanks for this, Mary!

[@stephenedwardleemusic8997]

Thanks for sharing this story !! I have struggled with stage fright all my life. Perhaps this a key to overcoming parts of it.

[@TroyNaumu808]

Sir Paul loved the suits and in his post Beatles career you can still see him dressing in a simular way. Maybe without the blazer a lot of times but still well dressed. Whereas John was more reluctant. According to reports he was the last to agree to the suits as he preferred his leather jacket.

[@MFitz12]

Note how Bowie while walking incognito around NYC kept a certain finger extended, to discourage paparazzi from snapping publishable photos.

[@VincentDeBellis]

Doesn't matter what you wear, Mary. That smile and your beautiful eyes, with your talent and intelligence, are always enough 😊👍

[@VincentDeBellis]

Oh how I wish you were the real Mary and not a piece of trash scambot

[@AJontheguitar]

I'm 38 and the only photos of myself on stage that I like are ones where I still don't like a lot of what I see. Kudos to you for this video, I can't imagine the strength it took to post it.

[@RichardPerrymanGuitarist]

You are attractive and you have a cool personality. Wear what ever makes you happy. We all have to learn to live with ourselves. Thanks for sharing with us.

[@leelossi1257]

How about Robert Palmer!! What a classy performer......videos? Awesome

[@robertleemeyer]

I loved Bowie's outfits as he morphed from one phase to the next, knowing he was learning and growing as he went. Bruce Springsteen has always seemed the steady one through the years (he's had a few different looks but they never seem too far away from his working-man t-shirts and jeans from the 70s). I always thought of Elton John as the Lady GaGa of the 70s. For myself, a soft hat and a pair of sunglasses work just fine to keep the audience and the lights from interrupting my panic-stricken trainwreck of a performance.

[@cwillmore97]

Miki Berenyi of Lush wore her hair in shocking shades of red during the band’s career. She also wore a couple different dresses until they were practically shreds, thus so many pics of the band with her in the same outfit(s). My favorite style icon.

[@usquebaugh1]

I was just reading about how she was approached and ended up singing backing vocals on “Blame" (track A3) from Blushing's 2022 album Possessions (which has been getting a lot of spins from me this February 2023).

[@sergiosaunier]

Lush is a very fine band. Their sound is very rich. Glad you mentioned them!

[@carrotsandrunning]

Never underestimate how little guys care about fashion. I've watched all your vids and never noticed what you wear once. Although now you mention it I think there was a kinda rocking leather jacket in there somewhere. 😁

[@colinmaharaj]

T-shirt and jeans? girl, you are a modern-day IT executive or IT expert.

[@b10t3rr0r]

Black t-shirt is always a good choice, sincerly David Gilmour ;>

[@panda4247]

Around 25s in - That's one of the reasons we fell in love with you. You don't pretend to be something that you are not. The black T-shirts and jeans are completely fine and in my very subjective opinion, they accentuate your natural beauty. (To be honest, I like them more than the black-and-white houndstooth-pattern jacket, but my point is, it does not matter, as long as the clothes are clean, nobody should think that plain t-shirts are "wrong")

[@luiscuevas327]

I really enjoy your style as you being authentic and genuine! That's the best for you and suits you really well! There's a Dominican saying that: "no es la ropa, sino la percha" can be translated to "it's not the clothes, but the hanger." This saying is often used to convey the idea that a person's worth or value is not determined by their outward appearance or possessions, but rather by their character, personality, or inner qualities. In other words, it's not what you wear or have, but who you are as a person that truly matters.

[@dtonesmith766]

CAUTION! watch for bots scamming the comments 💕

[@DrewMonge]

Mary, I'm pretty sure if you just wore sweatpants and a t-shirt, people would fall in love with you just the same. Fashion is cool. But ultimately, your songwriting and talent makes whatever you're wearing cool. 😎

[@seanhallahan14]

Well done! Very informative, entertaining, revealing. God bless.

[@mikeweber5362]

Mary: Every topic you take on is interesting and well-presented. Good job!

[@dominey]

Always admire and appreciate Bjork's incredible fashion sense and flair for the dramatic.

[@TomTobin67]

Now you know why kiss and Alice Cooper dressed the way they did.

[@toddbrous_untwist]

Ugh... now I wanna go get a black leather jacket!!!

[@rheinhardtgrafvonthiesenha8185]

I think you do a great job speaking. You’re a phenomenal communicator.

[@workdogwern4716]

I like the history focused videos. Thnaks.

[@LegionOfWeirdos]

Austin, Texas... ya GOTTA play Austin, of all the US cities it makes the most sense. 🙂

[@DriftMusiK]

Hermosa! I've actually always appreciated how you present yourself, black tees and all. What a great ending with the appreciation for Mr. Jones. I managed to see "David Is" during it's final showing at the Brooklyn Museum, and saw many of his costumes, right in front of me. So much of it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for reminding me of his exquisite tastes, and dazzling stage presence.

[@frankie_CALB]

You, Mary, are drop dead gorgeous! F@#% the haters!

[@Gloku8]

Love the jacket, reminds me of Goku drip. 😂 Sorry anime brain kicking in.

[@thomasmcgill7229]

Wow, this is great. I find it surprising you have insecurities with your look. Since I have discovered your channel, Ive always thought you look stylish from your workout clothes to how you present yourself on your channel. Im an old guy now but when I was a young musician Ive always had crazy style ideas but never could afford to create them. I love Tim Henson from Polyphia look. He seems to incorporate everything into his personal style.

[@eswing2153]

Her fashion choices seem classy and modest. There is nothing wrong with that.

[@stulora3172]

In the rare occasions, when I don't want to look like a mid forty fellow stuck in the 90s (think, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Radiohead style), I default to the only pair of Jeans without holes in it and black or gray T-shirts. No idea if that makes me less grunge and more adult.... I love your music, love your style, love your thoughts on so many different topics. Keep on rocking, Mary!

[@alexdenton6586]

Buckethead has the best look , you all know it

[@polmorgan3533]

I was lucky enough to be friends with Judy Wong who was Fleetwood mac's secretary and Stevie Nicks's stylist. she was a great lady always kind and full of great stories. She took me to meet the band which was a great day of my life. - R.I.P Judy.

[@sergiosaunier]

That must have been a wonderful experience!

[@alanclayton9277]

I liked the leather biker jacket in your earlier videos and the black polo necks. Annie Clark probably wakes up cool. I used to wear my Grandad's over coat with the name of our band stenciled on the back in bright yellow, looked ridiculous, felt great, gave me miraculous powers. The reach of your channel in subject matter these days is so surprising and interesting. Oh yeah and the dark dress in 'the perfect location ', liked that look. Sorry, just reacting to the y'know question.

[@alefone2]

I have to admit, most soothing voice I ever heard. I can listen to you talk, or sing, about anything. Love the accent and love your personality. Never cared what you wore...Keep it up!

[@danherrick5785]

I want to give you more thumbs up but can't figure out how.

[@rydavis]

Hey you, be well with many blessings. Nice work you do...cheers/smiles

[@JohnkMaxwell]

Don't forget Robert Palmer, "Rolling Stone magazine voted Palmer the best-dressed rock star for 1990". Alway enjoyed your channel.

[@Wubslin]

Aaron Stainthorpe from My Dying Bride is a fashion icon, he just doesn't know it 👍

[@RandyLevin]

You are BEAUTUFUL, amazingly, talented, incredibly personable, very smart...did I mention BEAUTIFUL.

[@joeokabayashi8669]

You have nothing to anxious about in your looks, let alone your amazing voice and talent! YOU ARE A STAR!

[@davidg5898]

I've always been a weird one in that I genuinely don't care how the band is dressed on or off the stage. I'm there for the music and it sounds the same whether the performer is wearing a t-shirt or sequins. Of course, I do enjoy it when a band specifically makes theater part of their concert and the costumes are part of that (like Michael Jackson, Rammstein, GWAR, etc.).

[@peacefulsoul77]

tbh you look like a good girl from church, yes a slightly boring look... if you are happy with that look, then just be you, don't worry about any one else...

[@MattSwain1]

Arghhh fashion, should be such a simple, fun source of expression and yet becomes a prison or world of exclusion to many. I’m all about jeans, a tidy pair that fit properly, bootcut, the end!

[@rockyetsx70]

The Japanese all female band, Band-Maid went for the Japanese maid cafe look to contrast their aggressive guitar based hard rock. The cool thing about that is that it was their idea not a record or management company plan. It works well in that it flips the notion of what they might sound like on its head based on their stage appearance. And unlike a lot of other female hard rock bands (Japanese or otherwise), instead of being hypersexualized, the outfits are quite modest. So it ends up being about their music and not just the sex appeal. Even hard core music reactors like Justin Hawkins in his reaction video was impressed by the integrity of what they were playing in their live performance videos. And likely the biggest benefit is that they can go out in street clothes after a show and be virtually unrecognizable. 👍

[@rainbow9832]

That really is a cool jacket 👊

[@rayschoch5882]

It'd be hard NOT to notice the near-constant appearance of black t-shirts in your early videos. That said, Mary, I hope you won't go too far in the other direction. I'm inclined to agree with Bowie that, if you're going to be a performer, appearance, at least on stage, is part of the performance. And frankly, this elderly Midwestern USA male likes seeing you in something other than just plain black from time to time. On the other hand, what drew me to this channel initially had nothing to do with what you were wearing. I very much enjoy the Bristol accent and, I admit, the educated tone of your non-musical videos (like this one). So, yeah, wear a red (or purple, or electric blue) t-shirt occasionally, or go wild and wear a girlie-dress, but don't get too caught up in "fashion," which is ephemeral at best, and mostly trivial anyway. Keep writing songs and working on your guitar chops.

[@securethebag1613]

gyal thicka than oatmeal 🍑

[@misorodzinak8829]

I have always admired Liam Gallagher's dedication to wear a parka even in the middle of summer. Wouldn't wanna copy it though.

[@LuizAlexandre_lalex]

KISS is a kind of role model, best in class, show for me. Clothing, fireworks, good musicians, good music, very well staged and organized. Iron Maiden is another good example of show, combining music, theater, fireworks… Judas Priest influenced a generation of rockers with their leather pants, jackets… Kiss, Maiden, Judas, Bowie, Gaga, all of them have a “brand”. You have a open world of possibilities. What is the brand you want to create for yourself? A sexy pop star? Or a diva like? A chameleon? Do your choice, be happy.

[@PresidentMateo]

Jack White talks about this very topic on a recent Conan podcast. Cool topic.

[@patrickjordan2233]

Wonderful video! When I used to perform, the "job" was to entertain, and perform at my best? When I subbed bass, I had wardrobe fitting (somewhat) the genre..? Include some "flare" from other culture. It offers not only "escapism" for the audience, but performer too? Excellent work. Choose your style...and style evolution 👍👍🎯👍😁😁😁♥️

[@jboughtin7522]

You're smart and have good instincts. You should go with your gut and start with what it's telling you about that jacket.

[@marktwaine9344]

I'm old now....and that's 'true freedom'....'ah look at that old bugger'...'leave em alone, he's daft'.....FREEEEDOM.....

[@michaelaiello9525]

Funny how Eddie Veddar’s iconic grunge look is Bowie’s anonymous in NY look.

[@tommcintyre5608]

I’m hoping your tour will include a swing up the west coast of the US. LA, San Francisco and Seattle. Of course invite Lemmo as a special guest in LA. Look forward to seeing you in 24

[@carolynshulman]

I really, really appreciate you addressing this particular topic. As a singer-songwriter who also performs onstage, and who just isn't much of a fashion horse, I've had the same insecurities! Lately, I've found wearing a silky blouse with a fun blazer, skinny jeans, and boots has been a good fit for me. I'd be interested to hear how you went about finding a stylist who felt like a good fit for you. (No pun intended! 😆)

[@johncrafton8319]

If you feel happy, you look happy. Confidence shines. That said, being comfortable with your own tastes - whether those tastes are plain or exotic or somewhere in between - is the most important. If you like the way you look, great. If you feel the need to change the way you look, don't worry about how others feel about it. It's YOU, and that's what really matters.