7 Marriage Differences (Germany & USA)

[@DeanaandPhil]

This is our last video about marriage for a while! We noticed while we were getting engaged and the planning process that there are a lot of differences in the details. It was interesting to discuss! Let us know some of your traditions or customs regarding marriage! 😍

[@-amosc.presley-7192]

I don't knows, any right about now _ but, I knows it seems like fun though...///

[@UnkleJustin]

Screw tradition. I'm just glad you two are happy!! Stay that way for another 50 years or so. Then become cranky old people in the nursing home together 😁

[@ERNIE555]

UnkleJustin 😂🤣👍🏻👍🏾

[@michaelgrabner8977]

the right hand tradition is a originally a sort of religous thing. The left hand tradition is wayway older and goes back to the old egyptians and the thing behind is the believe of the "heart vene" which goes through the ring finger on the left hand and was taken over by the ancient greeks and from them it was taken over by the ancient romans and so on...while wearing the ring on the right was originally a pure catholic thing habit derived from a bible verse saying that all good comes from the right side while Protestants later changed it back on the left hand but just to be different to the catholics.. My grandparents for instance had different denominations so therefore my grandmother who was protestant wore it on the left hand while my granddad who was catholic wore it at the right hand

[@michaelgrabner8977]

Regarding to wedding tradition we have in Austria the socalled "Brautentführung" - "Bride Hijacking"..where after the wedding dinner the "Trauzeugen" - "official witnessess of the marriage" - are hijacking the bride to an other place like Bar or Restaurant in the closer area..in a moment where the husband got distracted by the wedding guests..and the husband then has to leave the party to find her which can take just a while following hints which the "Trauzeugen" left behind it´s basically a kind of "Schnitzeljagd" for the husband..while the wedding party is still going on without the married couple.. Also the drinking game "Ich packe meinen Hochzeitskoffer" is very common as well ..Where Bride and Husband have to repeat that sentence but after it was added to that sentence one thing after another becoming longer and longer ...and by every mistake while repeating they have to drink...

[@BorstenSchub]

The "tradition" of diamond engagament rings was created by the diamond industry ind the 50s (?) and was made to "tradition" through aggresseive marketing. Same with the big weddings in white. before the 1900s no one could afford a wedding dress or a diamond ring and honestly even today i think the majority of people that actually spend thousands of dollars for this stuff still cant afford it and just do it because they think its required. Basicly a big ripoff because weddings and engagement rings are heavily overcharged because of that.

[@DeanaandPhil]

Very true. well said!

[@jessicaely2521]

For some people q diamond ring is tradition. For my family it is tradition. The first diamond ring bought was in Poland in 1900. I still have this ring. It isn't big or flashy by any means. It's small and relatively plain.

[@janetweyer9415]

Hans Meise my ring has sapphires and little clusters of diamonds. He knew I hated the typical diamond ring.

[@ChinchillaQueen]

I have my husband's great grandmother's platinum wedding ring from the 1920s. I love it. He has his grandfather's gold wedding band from the same era. I never really liked the while diamond industry as a whole though and if I am going to wear jewelry with stones, I honestly don't like diamonds.

[@TheDelightfulCrafter]

I have my husband’s great great grandmother’s engagement ring from 1914, and it’s a beautiful diamond ring... so, not sure about the 1950s thing... All of my grandparents and great grands had beautiful engagement rings...

[@imrehundertwasser7094]

20 cars driving through town honking is a wedding. 100+ cars driving through town honking is football fans celebrating their national team winning a match in the World Cup.

[@couchna]

In argentina everyone pass by the wedding car blow their horn

[@ChinchillaQueen]

I told my husband that if he even considered spending more than $500 on any ring, especially wedding and engagement ring, I would say no. He was smart and spent less than $200

[@pinkythechihuahua3156]

I had a small diamond engagement ring, that accidentally got thrown out! I was heart sick. I replaced it with a CZ that looks beautiful and cost a whopping $35!

[@ajl8198]

You are very smart I wish I had told that to my husband unfortunately he felt pressured from his sister to buy me a diamond ring which I would never have expected or wanted Although i do wear A ring on my wedding finger I never wear the diamond it’s in a drawer tucked away I never felt comfortable wearing diamonds it’s not my thing

[@ChinchillaQueen]

@@ajl8198 I just personally believe that the money some people spend on those two rings could be better spent on things like a house or if you already had that and wanted a really nice, once in a lifetime honeymoon. That's what we ended up doing. We were living in Germany and had a late honeymoon in the Black Forest. It was amazing and I'd love to go back if I can someday. The initial money was spent visiting our new in-laws since our families live on opposite coasts. I like my wedding ring but I'm seriously scared to wear it out to a lot of places since it's not replaceable and rather valuable to his family. Specifically his great grandmother. Luckily his sister didn't care about ring prices. She was ten at the wedding and $100 was expensive to her

[@lynnb2562]

My husband and I spe t maybe $800 on all three rings together. I really could not have cared less to get a ring at all, but he was just so excited about every part of the wedding and having that symbol that said we were engaged really mattered to him so I went with it, but I wound not let him spend that much and it usually sits in my drawer in the bathroom now.

[@milandaertl9864]

P

[@serenitydabarbarian404]

USA American. Left hand, ring finger=Married Right hand, ring finger=Widowed Not sure if widely practiced, but was explained this by my Great-Great Grandmother when I was a child.

[@vickyburton2434]

Serenity Da Barbarian Wow, I did not know this!

[@lindasunderlin6936]

USA Widowers and Widows don't do that anymore. Instead they simply keep wearing the ring on their same finger if they don't want to get married again. It's an effortless indicator that people look for which indicates if adults want to make a romantic connection or not.

[@serenitydabarbarian404]

@@lindasunderlin6936 "Not sure if widely practiced..." indicates that I know it's still practiced. I know several people do it because I was one of them. I'm remarried now, and wear all my rings. I've been a part of several support groups, some wear it left, some right, some on a necklace, and others not at all. Every individual has there own way of grieving and struggling through life and to deny that grief by a blanketed and un-factual statement of "No one does that anymore." Shows your lack of tact.

[@lindasunderlin6936]

@@serenitydabarbarian404 Well, cheers to healing then.

[@MedPig]

When my wife died, I wore mine for a while, until it depressed me having it on. Because of our finger sizes, hers fit inside mine, so I used a hammer to drive the two together. I’m remarried now, but still have those in my box of assorted jewelry.

[@vallybae7827]

German here. My parents have the “usual” engraving in theirs. It’s their spouses name and their wedding date. So my mum wears my dads first name and my dad wears my mums first name. The wedding date is very common but the name vary, it can be both or the partners or no name at all.

[@chelseagirl278]

Vally Bae That is so beautiful 💕

[@couchna]

Same in Argentina

[@gaiahappy]

The same in Spain

[@silmuffin86]

We have the same tradition for engravings in Italy

[@cs296]

Same in Greece. Might be common in Europe as a whole.?

[@Thyriak]

I´m married and i wears my ring every day since my wife put it on my finger at the Standesamt. Wait, it took it off for the ceremony at the church, till my wife put it on my finger again, but since then.... i won´t take it off till i´m dead. They say it will bring u bad luck, if u take off your ring. The tradition to cut a piece of wood schould show the hardness of teamwork when u r married, and the good feeling if u go through it. And finally i have to say sorry for my bad english.

[@RoggsRammel]

My inscribtion say: "One ring to rule the other" And her ring say: "The one ring"

[@couchna]

Hilarious 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@bobbyhood101]

The amount spent on the engagement rings and the wedding is a waste, your better off spending that money on your first home and furniture, the fairy tale is a b.s. Victorian hold over the reality of life is you need the house and the furniture more than a diamond ring or spending thousands on a single day ! Married years

[@DeanaandPhil]

very good point!

[@amyhull754]

That's 100% what we did!

[@yes1yes0]

I think it depends! The ring is something your wife is going to wear for the rest of her life and if you are able to save for it and buy an expensive one (whatever that means to you), I think it's a really nice gesture. But it absolutely depends on the couple and their situation of course. I just don't think it's necessarily a waste. My great-grandfather was saving for the ring for a long time, so that he could afford a platinum one with a diamond, which in a rural area in Czechoslovakia back in the day was extremely uncommon. My great-grandma didn't even know what platinum is and thought it's silver at first and that he couldn't afford a golden one, but said yes anyway haha. It's a lovely story and I think it was such a beautiful gesture of him:) A few years later, the communist took his store and many things they had, but not the ring:).

[@solaccursio]

we married in Las Vegas and spent a grand total of $179... and it wasn't even the cheapest package, that was $79, but I decided to splurge :D (p.s. we both wore things we did not buy for the occasion, and we already had the rings we used, so there was nothing more to throw away money on)

[@silvergirl7810]

Why are rings important? My mom lost my dad after being married to him for almost 60 years- she now has dementia and has basically lost every single thing important to her- her home, her furniture, most of her clothes, her identity, most of her memories, her husband, about everything a person can lose in life- but I noticed that when I’m with her, the one thing in the world that she STILL has left is her RING that she spins on her hand and talks about my dad when she does. And I can’t help but think of the importance that ring holds to her now- how glad I am that my dad bought it for her with every ounce of love he had for her. So, is it just materialistic?- absolutely not! I’m also going to add that of all the purchases you can make throughout your life, that wedding ring is most important- it symbolizes and stands for something between two people and something that is a sign to others as well- it is something that will go with your bride everywhere- every single day of her life and she will look at down at it every single day. It will remind her of why you’re married and bring back memories like it does for my mom- even if it’s just a quick glimmer- even if it’s subconscious. A wedding dress lasts one day- that’s it. A ring - you wear really until you die if you stay married to that person- how amazing - what other item gets that much wear? And, it holds some value where many things don’t (if you buy wisely- meaning, a full carat will always fetch something back to you). Never pass up that opportunity to buy your wife a ring be it plain gold and engrave something sweet on the inside or a gorgeous diamond- make it special for her.

[@solaccursio]

mine is tattooed... so it's definitely there forever. And human flesh is much more precious than even the most precious of metals :)

[@silvergirl7810]

The left ring finger because it has a vein that is connected to your heart.

[@nadiaaudigie7962]

This traditional belief is factually inaccurate as all the fingers in the hand (both left and right) have a similar vein structure.

[@goodness7729]

The wedding ring is wearing on the left hand because the heart in on the left side ❤

[@silvergirl7810]

Nadia Gorbacheva It’s something I heard and connected to the heart on the left side but it’s just one of those things that although possibly not totally correct, why would you want to crap on everybody’s rainbows? It’s a sweet sediment and many people clearly wear their ring on that finger - why not let people have that connection? I like the idea- Instead you took the time to correct everyone- you’re one of “those” . I’m sure you’re REALLY fun to have at a party. 🤓

[@nadiaaudigie7962]

@@silvergirl7810 you shared information, I shared information. No need to get personal.

[@goodness7729]

@@silvergirl7810 calm down

[@Fa1Th1]

I'm Canadian and my husband is German. I had always wanted a diamond ring but didn't want him to spend an arm and a leg on it. He found the perfect one while we were still in Canada at a Canadian Jewelry company. Our wedding rings are simple ones we got in Germany. In my ring it says ''Immer Dein'' and the wedding date and in my husbands it says ''''Always yours'' and the wedding date. We now live in Germany and I wear my rings on my left hand and he wears his ring on his right hand.

[@jamescalacsan4883]

Hello @Bethany lineman, you answered my question I have in mind with your comment, Send me an email message so I can chat with you. [e-mail]

[@babniaryobi9666]

Hi, I am Canadian as well. If you don't mind, can you explain what needs to be done if you get married to a German citizen in Germany and reside there as well? For example, what needs to be done in terms of the marriage process (legal documents) and residence permit process? I would like to know about your experience as a Canadian married to a German citizen. Thanks!

[@clwbchbabycakes]

You are correct!! De Beers (as in De Beers diamond mines) started the "tradition" of the diamond engagement ring and they are also the ones who give the "guidelines" of 2 months salary for this ring.

[@Robobot1]

I have always had the same feeling about my ring feeling foreign to me but I also enjoy it cause it's a little reminder throughout the day of my wife

[@patrickgrantlandsr158]

I was 19 and my wife was 23 when we married. That was 45 years ago, still happily married. Btw, we met in Charleston, SC., her name is Deanna and she's a Libra.

[@dabneyscholler8495]

My husband proposed to me in Charleston 😁

[@matthewlivergood9624]

In America the rings go on the left ring finger because the blood vessles in the left ring finger is supposed to be closest to the heart.

[@mgtowp.l.7756]

I Think This Came From The French.

[@ariste01]

Actually it dates back to ancient Rome.

[@nadiaaudigie7962]

This traditional belief is factually inaccurate as all the fingers in the hand (both left and right) have a similar vein structure.

[@goodness7729]

It's because the heart is on the left side

[@torstenbeutinger3093]

The Heart is not in the left chest... Is in the middle of the breast😬

[@kellydunn2528]

Yes, I have worn mine every day for over 40 years --- Ja, ich habe meine jeden Tag seit über 40 Jahren getragen

[@1177kc]

Used to be in the US you bought a matching wedding set of three rings. Mine was that way in the mid 80s.

[@rozaliachildress1901]

We had our wedding bands with our names and the date engraved.We both were 21. 53 Years later we are still happily married.

[@latebloomerabroad]

I enjoyed hearing the differences!! One other ring custom I know about: in Finland, both the man and woman wear simple bands when they get engaged, and when they get married, the woman adds a second band on the same finger, sometimes with tiny stones. I've always thought that was cool, because the engagement should be the commitment for both people. (I'm American, but had a bunch of Finnish friends in the 80's. It may have changed by now.) Mazel Tov!

[@alexdreFalke]

Phil is the only German I know who doesn't sound horrible when he speaks English. (Myself very much included :D)

[@holger_p]

Cause you only recognize others as German, if they speak horrible English. That's biased perception.

[@alexdreFalke]

@@holger_p Well sometimes maybe, but most often you do know the Nationality of the Person you're talking/listening to. Especially when you're in class or something like that

[@brambleberry7814]

Haha! I wonder if the reason I think Phil is the funniest German youtuber to me (as an American) is because his English is so good or is it all his sparkling personality! :D

[@salexo9]

Wirklich? Ich finde, er hat im Vergleich einen ziemlich hörbaren Akzent. Aber ich finde das nicht schlimm.

[@Riversongwho]

Haaxey I know. I just moved to Germany, and the place where I am now Nobody speaks English, except some like my boyfriend and his father.

[@underwaterlaser1687]

We had to saw a log. It almost gave me a heart attack because it was the hottest day of the year.

[@DeanaandPhil]

The sacrifices we make :D

[@winterschmied4583]

My wife is a nurse, so her colleagues made a criss-crossed line from medical gauze and gave us some not sharpened scissors to cut our way to the limousine. At the end my colleagues, at that time I worked at a mine, waited with a big log of wood and a heavily unsharpened saw. In my opinion that tradition should show the newly wedded couple to master the harder, bumpier times in future together, because all traditions of cutting your way free, that I have seen, will be mastered easier together not allone.

[@katharinawinter3788]

Hi, I´m German. The custom with throwing rice is copied from US movies as many other customs. 30 years ago hardly anybody in Germany would do it. The sawing (I've seen it once) is about overcoming obstacles as a team. My friends who had to saw also had to empty a clothes line full of baby clothes. An old custom in parts of Germany is the kidnapping of the bride. Some friends take her away from the celebration and go from pub to pub and the groom has to follow as fast as he can, because he has to pay the bills in the pubs....

[@cs296]

That's not American. They throw rice in other countries in Europe too. It's actually a very old tradition that goes back to the Middle Ages.

[@BigAndTall666]

@@cs296 : indeed and it used to be hemp seed to symbolise fertility, the rice thing is totally modern. 😀

[@cs296]

@@BigAndTall666 some cultures used barley, or any other kind of seeds, the meaning always being the same. Thanks to those that clean the place after the wedding🤗

[@Evieisnumber1]

my dad wears his wedding ring on a necklace. because of his work :)

[@nindyshanty]

Yup I saw most of my medical residents fellow did this also

[@Looney2ing]

My dad also. And after my mom died hers is there also

[@LC-ck8xc]

I live in Texas and when we got married almost 27 years ago, we were not allowed to use rice. We had to use bird seed or bubbles. The rice swells up in the bird's stomach and kills them. I think pretty much across America it is against the rules to use rice. Another American tradition is saving the top layer of the wedding cake and putting out in the freezer to eat together on your 1st anniversary. Don't do it, it was so gross.

[@imrehundertwasser7094]

The bird thing is a myth: www.snopes.com/fact-check/against-the-grain/

[@fionafiona1146]

The cake thing was invented for the firstborns birth not only to show the wealth of having a ice house but also the fertility of being parents within a year.

[@rich-ard-style6996]

I liked that, we did that and loved the cake, it was delicious. And to that we learned only the two of you are allowed to share it for good luck.

[@Caaliyn]

The other reason for not throwing rice is because it can cause problems for the people involved

[@Goldzwiebel]

I'm from Germany. rice is not allowed here either. But it may well be that the laws have relaxed again in recent years and only my city has not removed the signs. the signs didn't stop people from throwing rice anyway.

[@sharonhuff8648]

I believe the left hand is used because it is closest to the heart. The band goes behind the engagement ring to signify the love sealed.

[@alenab.8064]

Actually my husband and I got our wedding rings from the jeweller who made the official ring in Lord of the Rings with the engraving on the outside 😍❤️

[@freebirthone3391]

Do the engravings only appear when the rings are thrown into fire?

[@solaccursio]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wonderful!!

[@MsLeirra]

Now that's freaking cool

[@radicallyforjesus]

I first met my husband-to-be when I was in 8th grade. I married him a week after I turned 19, on Valentines Day, 1997. He was 22. Still happily married to my love. It has now been 23 very blessed years. ❤️

[@neshmahenkel2428]

How lovely, May God continue to bless your marriage.

[@MsLeirra]

Happy 24th Anniversary

[@richardthiel683]

When we got Married, my wife was 20 and I was 25. That was 53 years ago. We have 4 kids, 11 grand kids and 3 great grand kids. That would be pretty hard if you waited until you were 40 years old to get married. Northwest Indiana

[@DeanaandPhil]

wow, that is amazing! Nothing more important than family! :)

[@pinkythechihuahua3156]

Thats what I was thinking. I was 19 When I married for the first time. I had 4 kids by the time I was 29. If a woman gets married at 30, does she feel in a rush to beat the biological time clock? Speaking of time clocks. My daughter had her first baby at 18. She is Now 35 and had her second baby 2 weeks ago. Yep. 16 years between babies. And with the same dad.

[@svitlana1500]

Karen Shepherd there are almost 8 billion people on the planet. With the medicine we have, People live longer and less children die. There is no need for 4 babies anymore.

[@W.Rain.]

@@pinkythechihuahua3156 a friend of mine has a 20 year difference with her baby brother (the same parents)

[@jacquelineweppler9630]

Maybe germans don't get this much children...

[@miltonwaltercompanyllc9605]

I married my wife three times: 1) in Indonesia (where my wife is from) 2) in Vegas (just for fun) 3) in Texas (more of a renewal of vows for my family) We just celebrated 19 years together and we have 16 year old twin daughters.

[@cheetahrose97]

My mom has the engagement ring with the rock and the wedding band, but my dad wears not only his wedding band but also a ring I got him when I was a kid that has 'DAD' in block letters with a black background. I think it's really special that he feels it's important to not only let people know he's a husband but also he's a father and both are so important to him that he wanted a physical representation of both on display. They where also married in a court house when I was three. They are both on their 3rd marriage so I think they got a little tired of all the ceremony and just wanted something simple. Though the winter sunlight streaming through the colored glass window onto them is something I'll never forget, it was so beautiful.

[@evelynepeter2643]

No

[@anastasiap.6807]

In Greece the wife engraves the husband's name on the ring and the husband the wife's name. When one of them dies and they are still married they exchange the rings.

[@lindasunderlin6936]

Does that mean that people who die while they're married afterwards have their wedding ring, which lists their own name, removed by their spouse and put into a safety deposit box or elsewhere ... then replaced with the spouses ring before buried? What happens if the ring is too small to put on the deceased finger?

[@southernchick9077]

(American) My husband is a welder, so he doesn't wear his. I sometimes use it as a thumb ring. Lol And I got married at 19. And we've been married 28years

[@rchrdtppr]

I am from the US - I know that sometimes churches dictate whether or not alcohol is served, or even food depending on the size and set up of the church. One church I belonged to did not allow red punch due to the new carpeting in the the parlor were receptions were held!

[@LeaSonnenscheinTrier]

I only know married German couples, Austrians too... that have wedding rings WITH engravings. Some have only the wedding date, some have the name of their spouse, some have a inscription/dedication or a mix of the mentioned things. Or christians have their favourite Bible verse engraved, normally the verse that the couple chose for their wedding sermon too.

[@DeanaandPhil]

yeah, interesting! I think most people we know in Germany have engravings, as well. :)

[@LythaWausW]

Interesting. I didn't realize engravings were such a thing here in Germany. When I met my future husband, I bought us both promise rings with a Bible verse engraved on the outside, in Hebrew. When we got married he basically upgraded both to a higher-quality ring metal (stainless?) with the same engraving. Our license plates on our cars have always had our wedding date for the number, and a simple W for our last name and the two cities we've lived in in Germany. I'm from Washington state so it feels right.

[@heidicolville4961]

I think why men often do not wear their rigs is because when working around machinery the ring could get caught and cause injury.

[@andreasrehn7454]

karat is also used in germany... karat is gold mass over 24 parts, finess gold mass over 1000 parts... metric system everywhere...:)

[@TerraChild1978]

The diamond tradition had this theory looped into it that diamonds are tougher, more unbreakable than other stones. Supposed to reflect the strength of the love and commitment. I think it would be better spent on the house deposit. Lol "With this house deposit I thee wed..." lol

[@DeanaandPhil]

totally agree!

[@lolamantz3740]

Living near a church, yes, we germans honk a lot for freshly married ppl. I'm usually easily disturbed by loud noises from outside, but I don't mind this since it's tradition :D

[@elenasabakuno6805]

My boyfriend wears a lot of Rings in his daily life normally, so I guess he will wear his wedding ring alot too. My father is also always wearing his wedding ring. My parents got new ones some yea ago. The old ring was to tight for my father and so he couldn't wear his ring anymore. He was real sad about this and so my parents decided to buy new ones. But the old ring is always with him. He put it in his wallet.

[@osborne6363]

That's soooo sweet

[@PixieAdams]

We have our song “Dream a Little dream of Me” engraved inside our rings

[@mgthale]

When my American grandma saw my engagement ring she said: it’s so tiny!!! 🙈😂 I love that it’s not as huge!

[@spiritofmadikwe]

That is why it actually makes sense to wear the ring on the left hand (if you are right handed)

[@mimilou642]

My husband wears his ring every day, I rarely wear my ring because of my job as a nurse. 😂😂 With us it is the other way around. And we are also life in Germany 😂😂

[@DeanaandPhil]

that's funny! =) Nice to see a role reversal there. :D

[@LythaWausW]

I did an internship in a German hospital and they made me remove my wedding ring. I was furious because I'd never taken it off before that moment. Then I did that black-light test and saw how hand sanitizers fail to get the crap out from under rings. So, I accepted it. (And today after visiting a nursing home I scrubbed the heck out of my ring finger cuz of COVID19.) After working at the hospital all medical TV shows are ruined for me - people in OR without masks, nurses with their long hair just hanging there, jewelry, people wearing scrubs in public....

[@mimilou642]

@@LythaWausW that's so true, nothing in the TV is like working in a hospital. Those are two different worlds 🙈

[@hi.panorama]

I was a guest on a German wedding and it was totally great for me. If I ever have a wedding (I was only engaged - always with enagement ring with a diamond, having a diamonds in rings are boring for me - it's not what I need) I wish to have a very simply and small wedding (but I am suppose I am too old, I am 29 in next month and still with no wedding ring ;) - but who cares :) ).

[@holger_p]

What an ancient idea is that ? Too old to marry. You can marry with 70 if you like.

[@barbarakunsler1766]

In the south of Bavaria(region in Germany) there are some more wedding tradditions: A couple of weeks before the wedding, friends of the couple come and set up a "Hochzeitsbaum" (wedding tree), which is basically a large trunk, so everbody who comes by the house knows they are just married. The couple is spending a Brotzeit(there is no good translation for it) and of course beer and everyone is sitting together to celebrate. After a year of marriage the tree gets cut of and another Brotzeit with beer is spent, when the couple is already expecting a baby it's spent by the friends, otherwise by the couple. In a Bavarian wedding it's very common to have a "Weinstube". At around 8 o'clock all the guests go to another room, the Weinstube. Everybody is drinking wine and it is mor like a common party and very funny. Another traddition is the "Brautstehlen" (bride kidnapping). Attendants of the wedding will "kidnapp" the bride and bring her to the Weinstube. They wait for the groom to negotiate about the number of bottles of wine they get in exchange for the bride.

[@gordaroo]

Ha ha the American The office had the kidnapping in a episode.

[@angelique00angelique]

Do Germans do the not seeing the bride on the wedding day thing like we do in the US? What about the garter? Do they do the cake cutting together as well? Here in New Mexico USA there are a couple of must have songs that are played at the wedding reception (the chicken dance and the electric slide and sometimes the Macarena lol). Tradition wise though we do the Marcha- it’s a dance that an already married (usually older) couple lead. The leading man and woman walk/dance around the room. The women follow the lead woman and the men follow the lead woman. Then when the lead couple meet they do like a London bridges type of thing. Then when each couple meets they go under the arms of the other couples, once out of the little brush they stand up and hold up their hands to add to the bridge.

[@bentleyr00d]

I don't guess this is necessarily related to marriage, but have you talked about baby naming? I just read an article about German naming law. Parents are forbidden from giving a child any name that doesn't indicate the child's gender. They also can't use a family surname or any object as a child's name, etc. Its way more restrictive than the US.

[@littleolmee]

My hubby & I got married back in 1990 in USA. Even back then the jewelry store said don't worry to much about the man's ring because men don't wear them. 30yrs later it was true for hubby; he wore it for awhile then got a job he couldn't wear it anymore. Then by the time he changed jobs & could wear it again, he'd outgrown it. Also back when I got married we were considered old because we were 20. Everyone we knew were already married, some already divorced lol. Back when we got married, having a meal was something only something people with money had. Back in 90s we just had cake.

[@Lieschen_Mueller]

My parents never wear their rings. They are happily married for 40 years now. So to me a ring doesn‘t seem that important.

[@rosamancuso2740]

In the USA it’s more common to blow bubbles or also sparklers when the bride and groom are leaving the reception since rice it’s bad for birds

[@plussizemommy2B]

Rosa Mancuso - yeah or birdseed

[@gaylemetscher7699]

I was born in Berlin, but raised in Canada. Married a Canadian. At our wedding reception my mother approached me and said the German guests want to dance on my veil. I was, like, WHAT! Apparently one of the traditions is for the guests to dance on the brides veil before they change to leave the reception! I was determined to save my veil, because i wanted to give it to the daughter i was sure we were going to have. Joke was on me! We had 2 boys! Lol

[@fini8874]

The sawing of wood is an actual thing in Germany, my cousin and his wife did it after their ceremony! ;)

[@cs296]

Where in Germany? I never heard that here in the Rhineland.

[@fini8874]

@@cs296 Haha I'm also from the Rhineland :D This part of my family is from Münster and thats also where they did it ;) I don't know if its a specific thing from the Münsterland though, because I haven't been to many weddings :'D

[@cs296]

@@fini8874 they also have the Holzschuh Dance there.. been like 100 years ago on a wedding in Münster.

[@aihebhoriapeace399]

I should be a German. Love their practices

[@Laraw-pb4lb]

It's not always easy. You have to be in time. Always. I am always late. Always. But I write poems, make inventions and recycle all my trash, so other germans allows me to stay here

[@gabeangel8104]

I am a guy who has an engagement ring but I have a disability that effects my skin (among other things) and wearing a ring all the time was causing me problems so I got a tattoo on the finger I would have worn the ring on instead. All this is really interesting, thank you for making this video. I love learning about cultural differences.

[@kirstyvanwell4024]

I have a 3 month salary big diamond engagement ring that I still wear after gotten married. My wedding band was like 50€ so together that's fine. I wear mine every day, sometimes at night too. I'll notice if I leave the house without. Unfortunately my husband doesn't like wearing a ring too much so after he had lost the first one at work bc he took it off he just doesn't wear his anymore. :'( I'm German-American and my husband is German. We both wear our bands on the left hand.

[@KessieXS]

At the time my parents got married back in 1982 in GDR my father had his pockets full of small change wrapped in aluminium foil, which he threw so the kids waiting could pick it up. Also I remember from my own childhood waiting couples outside the nearby church and collecting the coins. Probably this was to show that the groom can afford having a wife and starting a family. Does anybody know this tradition?

[@gerlindeluding]

Yes we did this in Bavaria!

[@arminreichhardt5152]

We have a great tradition here, "Brautklau". During the wedding ceremony, the bride is kidnapped by friends of the groom. They go to a bar somewhere in the city for drinking beer, Schnapps or Schampus. Until the groom finds them and he has to pay all the drinks before he can have his bride again. I remember my wedding, it took me a long time to find them and made me a poor man...

[@Lexor888]

This tradition is only great in one aspect, which is that you see what kind of friends you have. Really good friends don't steal the bride, good friends may steal her but don't go crazy on the drinks and give hints to the groom if it takes too long, shitty friends get wasted on expensive drinks.

[@swanpride]

Honestly, that only really works in closed communities where everyone is in on it. In the large cities, it's an idiotic idea, because not all bar owners are enthralled by the concept, plus, it can end with part of the wedding guests being left behind and out of the loop, while the search happens.

[@denasharpe2393]

Still happy together l pray!!!

[@AvesPasseri-Jinysvet]

Well, I am from the Czech Rep. We have an engraving. In runes, in fact. :-) Saying FOREVER. :-))))) And the marriage date.

[@geraldinehunter7832]

USA here. Don't forget the most awful tradition. The female who catches the bride, is sat down in the middle of the dance floor, the groom takes the garter off the bride, the best man takes it and puts the garder on the leg on the female (un willingly) who caught the bouquet....... and everyone screams higher and higher -- hte higher 'the more luck the couple gets' A REALLY BAD TRADITION. ugh!

[@Bibibibi12334]

Well I'm from Germany and I married pretty young. I was 23 years old....my husband 24. We are celebrating our 19 th anniversary soon🥰

[@DeanaandPhil]

not bad! Keep it going! :)

[@rbfoster]

Idk why it’s looked at as “too young” to get married in your early twenties. Some people wait till they’re 30 but then have fertility issues. I don’t think getting married in your prime “baby making days” should be demonized.

[@manub.3847]

@@rbfoster A few days ago I read a little report about the marriage age between the years 1750 and around 1850. While the majority of marriages in Germany were made between the ages of 26 and 29/30, couples in eastern regions married earlier.

[@lubomirabartikova1567]

@@rbfoster so true!!! I could not agree more! Its even funny sometimes when you see a bride and a groom and they look like they could have teenagers already.. They spend their 20s traveling and having fun, avoiding babies. Then they hit 30- ok, now its time to get married and have kids.. whoops no kids after 10 years of contraception.. Now lets spend a fortune on IVF :(

[@solaccursio]

@@lubomirabartikova1567 we spent our 20s traveling and having fun, avoiding babies. And our 30s, and 40s, and we are now in our 50s. We are still having a lot of fun together, and soon the problem of avoiding babies will be over because I'm about to reach menopause, at last! :)

[@Mothmaiden_Abyzou]

I don't get that whole expensive ring thing anyway. My engagement ring is simple silver with a little blue stone. Simple and still beautiful 😍

[@alexintokyo1040]

My mom was “Goldschmiedin” and she told me that 333 gold means the ring is made 33,3% out of gold, a 585 gold ring is made out of 58,5%. Therefore my mom always said everything under 585 (less than 50 %) is not real gold. It kinda makes sense!

[@freebirthone3391]

Goldschmied = gold smith

[@SolomonSunder]

And as an Indian, I was shocked that this is the best one can get despite having to pay more. In India, the quality of gold matters and anything below 916 is not considered gold. In case of chains, it is often 23 karat gold as well. Not to mention, custom made rings are common in India, whereas in Austria, we were told to chose one from what they had.

[@gelladhir]

6:30 I wear my Wedding Band every day on a silver Necklace, cause I hate rings an my hand

[@DeanaandPhil]

I thought about that. "Frodo-Style" :D

[@BangOlafson]

We use Tungsten bands :) 10 years and no scratches :) of course you can't snip them off if the finger gets stuck.. you will have to take the finger off :) her rock is on a platinum ring :) no gold here... to soft anyway ... wears through of course the name is laser engraved on the inside.. in preparation for later when one is too senile to remember wedding day and/or name of spouse :)

[@katferments]

I have to disagree on the buffet style for German weddings. I've done quite a bit of wedding photography and in my experience there's usually a wedding menu with 2-3 options for each course. Some will have the dessert buffet style. Cake buffets are also a thing, but main courses not so much. Also, I've seen the sawing wood thing a lot, but that might just be a thing they do in Bavaria.

[@olafwohltjen3087]

Ich habe meine Frau nach 24 Jahren , gemeinsamen Lebens , geheiratet. Aber eigentlich hat meine Frau mir den Antrag gemacht 😅. Wir haben natürlich schon mittlerweile erwachsene Kinder . Ich bin ein Westdeutscher und meine Frau eine Ostdeutsche . Es war aber schon nach der Wiedervereinigung, als wir uns kennenlernten. Aber es gab so viele Unterschiede damals.. Die beiden Deutschen Seiten waren so unterschiedlich gewesen. Fremd eben . ... Interessantes Video 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[@MariaCarlottaNotes]

Ich finde die Leute sind generell so verschieden, egal ob aus dem Westen, Osten, Süden oder Norden 😄 Jede Region war halt unterschiedlich beeinflusst über die ganzen Jahrtausende bis dann mal Deutschland überhaupt geschaffen wurde ...

[@olafwohltjen3087]

@@MariaCarlottaNotes ja, dass ist wohl wahr 😃. Manchmal ist das schon von Dorf zu Dorf ganz anders 😂. Aber das macht es ja auch interessant.

[@KasdeyasVids]

I'm wearing my wedding ring all the time (day, night, taking showers, etc) but my husband bearly wver wears his. He don't like rings at all and he just wears it when we are at a family gathering or something like that.

[@DeanaandPhil]

That's started to happen with us! I (Deana) wear mine all the time. Phil's tends to sit by the computer until we have to go out. If Phil does wear it in the house, he ends up leaving it in his pants' pockets. 😅

[@faemoonfire694]

I do the same thing. I don't wear my ring at all unless it's around family.

[@CardsbyMaaike]

in some countries (ntherlands too) the ring is on the left hand if you're a Christian and right hand if you're Protestant or another religion, we have relationship rings

[@olwenloud9704]

Protestants are Christians.

[@stephanhartung471]

Well, of course we DO HAVE engravings in our rings. Its common in germany. But we got our rings in the Philippines and even there are engravings in their rings. That makes our rings super personal.

[@countryfrau8328]

I lost the diamond out of my engagement ring after I was married. I just quit wearing any rings then. My husband tried to replace my ring but I wasn't really interested. I'm not very fancy or sentimental.

[@valerievesper9216]

I’m American and I think it’s actually extremely common to have engraving in wedding rings here. The wedding date is most common I think, but there are other things as well. We have the date and the first letters of a little saying in each ring. My husband does wear his ring every day. I think it’s probably easier when it’s on the left hand, as most people are right handed. It probably gets in the way less.

[@semtex2987]

me and my wife got married in literally 5 minutes, 3 minutes smalltalk included. no witnesses required at all in germany.... i dont have a ring, but her's pretty nice..

[@golfr-kg9ss]

Love the disclaimer at the beginning of the video about differences not being negative. Probably forced on you by a lot of hate from people who don't understand that;)

[@seanehle8323]

Polterabend - Ghost evening? Poltergeist is not just a ghost, but a ghost that throws things... and it's the geist that is "ghost"... so polter is the throwing part of the word? So not ghost evening, but "evening of throwing stuff"..?

[@kaystern369]

My brother has his wedding band engraved with his wedding date, so he can't forget his anniversary. Also he ordered 2 when he got married just because he loses stuff. Note he lost the 1st one in about 3 months, 2nd is still on his hand. When I had my Bachelorette party it was mostly a surprise for me on where and what we were going to do. My bride's maids met at my house, gave me gifts to wear! I had a veil with xxx body parts on it and Bachelorette ribbons, shot glass necklace, a tight fit t-shirt with "SUCK FOR A BUCK" on the front and wrapped candies sewn all over it. I also had a bouquet of suckers. Guys or ladies were to buy the candies, but could only use their mouth/teeth to remove the candies. We went to a large bar with a live band and tons of people! I had a lot of fun and a rough morning the next day. Woke up in my bed with all my clothes on, very large pile of money in my pockets and in my bra. I had enough to pay for the DJ at my wedding!

[@kaystern369]

I was 23 and my husband was 25. We are high-school sweethearts. 🥰

[@ejsrottydogzeus]

I worked in jewelry for years, many people do have their wedding bands engraved with names and date. Others may put a short message. I believe DeBeers who is the largest dealer of diamonds, came up with the guideline of spending 3 months salary in the engagement ring. I agree this is absurd. Spend what you can afford, don't take a loan out for an engagement ring. 😉

[@deviantartdaylover1313]

so i have a custom engagement ring yes it sounds expensive but it did not wish i could put a link to it down below to where to get it but mine have 2 birthstones his and mine its silver and it has name engraved in front and a word inside just personal for us his is a silver ring with nordic patterns no in gave names or word but the wedding rings are gonna have that he whares his in a neckless with a custom wolf that i did make with the date we started dating and his name on one side the other side blank (will get a date when we get married) also i wear my ring on the left hand i have 2 rings a promises ring is 1 stone and silver ring and the engagement one the promise ring is in a neckless with a wolf with my name and date so i don't forget it lol and i have a heart thing with a white pearl in it to really love that it means we are gonna be healthy couple and i even did make a drawing of my wedding ring that will have engravedings and 3 stones 2 birsth stone and one for the pomise ring that has a stone for the day we got engange really nice i love i got the ring i desing i even won it and then i gave it to him so he could use it when he proposed with a note i did not see it until the day he did and it was more butilful than i thoght i try to find a way to combine my promise ring and engament ring but that is really hard and expensive but yarh i love all of it but not as muth as i love my finase weeee

[@melodykeane9853]

I was taught that you wear the wedding rings on your left hand; but, if your spouse passes away, you move it to your right hand. Maybe it’s just my family tradition.

[@xar1234]

I‘ve been wearing my wedding band every single day for the last 40 years

[@DeanaandPhil]

thats impressive! :)

[@giovannarogers8779]

Not sure if this is an American tradition or Latino tradition. On the wedding reception the bride and the groom dance with the guest and they put money on them with a pin and they also pass the groom or the brides shoe around the ballroom for the guest that don’t want to dance, they put the money in the shoe.

[@Raysboss302]

My parents divorced when I was very young. He was abusief to my mother and us. My brother divorced very quick too. That train left my station I guess. But I’m not bitter.

[@patriciabreeckner5414]

Rings do not keep or bind u together. GOD does!!! I love your vibes.

[@nafsi8519]

In our country most of us don't wear any kind of "married" symbol. In older days married women used to wear nose pin. But now we don't. We have atleast 4 days ceremony. In my family we tend to do 7 days. These 7 days guests visit the brides/ grooms parents home to have lunch and dinner.

[@marcojahn2564]

In which language was the wedding ceremony held? I still remember our own wedding. My wife is German, but lives in the USA. Since we wanted to get married when she was in Germany for 1 week, I had to register the wedding alone. The lady at the registry office turned white as chalk when she read where my wife lived. Because the regulations say that both partners have to know the language in which the marriage ceremony takes place. But she herself did not speak English. She was incredibly relieved when she heard that my wife is a German citizen and therefore understands the German language. Otherwise we would have had to look for a registry office where a wedding ceremony could take place in English.

[@lindasunderlin6936]

Yes any ceremony that has a document for one's signature, one should understand what's being said.

[@sylviamckee3221]

Heart is on left side of chest. Just a symbolic gesture of love. In Hawaii the female identifies herself as taken by wearing a flower on the left side of the head. He had “Syl, I love us. Tim” engraved into my band. 37 years and counting.

[@allison4882]

love you guys's energy! The wedding rings was so interesting!

[@Elunedil]

My soon to be husband is american and I am dutch. He had no clue about engraving either. In the netherlands it's very common, just like in germany. I'm still thinking about what to do ;)

[@julikaframbs7211]

In Germany we actually also have the “something used/old, something new and something borrowed”-tradition, but one tradition that we also have, that I find kind of important, that wasn’t mentioned is that it is tradition, that the bride safes and buys her wedding-shoes with penny’s.

[@brendaparker2466]

From the US and love that one!

[@cs296]

Didnt know that. I only know that the groom suit and brides dress are paid by.. oh well I can't remember that part...😂

[@stephanieromero6495]

I am just seeing this. But I'm from Utah where the average age to get married is 18-21. So many people get married right out of high school and enter college engaged or married.... or get married while in college.

[@marcoplonsky2992]

Phil you forgot the huge fact of kidnapping the bride

[@sykotikmommy]

Military marriages typically happen much younger. I was 22 when I got married to my husband, who was 24. We were both in the army in Germany and are still married, 16 years later. So many really young German girls were marrying soldiers also when we were there. Neither one of us wear a ring. They get in the way..... lol

[@holger_p]

But this is not normal life. They had to marry due to getting priviliges in US baracks or than travelling to U.S. Other people just think.. what is marrying good for.

[@ChinchillaQueen]

If we're talking US soldiers marrying each other, those weddings are often rushed simply because of a few reasons, not necessarily good reasons but a few reasons. 1: you just want to get out of the barracks. 2: the benefits. 3: one soldier got promoted and due to difference in responsibility, if you don't get married within a certain amount of time, you can be forced to break off the relationship. My husband was the one that got promoted so we went from dating for the past 7 months to engaged and married 5 months later. We'll be going on 4 years married now so it worked out well for us but it doesn't work out well for others. We did get engaged while in stationed in Germany though so that was fun

[@lindasunderlin6936]

@@holger_p Simple, the huge income tax deduction and joint filing time savings.

[@holger_p]

@@lindasunderlin6936 thats only a german thing.

[@haroldking7027]

I've worn my ring since 1976, I would feel weird without it.

[@cs296]

You definately would. Talking of experience

[@PianistStefanBoetel]

You two are so pleasant!

[@dreadlockdoris7093]

My parents got married in Slovenia and there it is indeed tradition that before the groom can pick up his bride from her house he kinda has to prove himself to be a strong man by sawing through a piece of wood.

[@DeanaandPhil]

That's so funny! Imagine getting a crappy saw... :D

[@dreadlockdoris7093]

@@DeanaandPhil :D

[@freebirthone3391]

@@dreadlockdoris7093 "If any of you has a reason why these two should not be married, speak now..." "He wasn't able to cut the wood!" "What?! Ok, that's a reason. You, out, both of ya!"

[@jamescharlesjones1266]

I asked some of my male co-workers why they did not wear their wedding bands. These were their replies: 1) the only time I'm married is when I'm at home with my wife 2) my wife married me, I'm not married to her 3) it's easier to pick up side chicks without the ring on 4) I don't love her I was shocked at the open honesty of how these husbands felt. Ugly truth.

[@Riversongwho]

JAMES CHARLES JONES sounds very shitty

[@bresev8958]

That's terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@marrykurie48]

My husband and I are Germans and we married at the ages 25 (f) and 23 (m). And we had been together for nearly 5 years before... Are we aliens? ^^ Edit: We're married since 15 years in 2020.

[@DeanaandPhil]

Definitely Aliens! 😛

[@betsybabf748]

I married as a teenager (had already graduated high school) and best decision I every made. He began a successful company. I earned my education and started a career in law. We had 5 children and were very happy until he passed away at 45 yrs old. I lost him far too young so happy we didn't waste any time, starting young.

[@lynnb2562]

I wonder how anybody has children in Germany if y'all are getting married so old. I mean obviously people are getting married and having kids because there are more Germans every year but I just don't understand how you don't struggle with massive massive amounts of infertility waiting so long. The CDC says that a woman at the age of 36 is already a geriatric pregnancy and high-risk. Most doctors tell you that even trying for children after 35 is less likely to work and is more dangerous. Although I will admit I fit the German stereotype idea of Americans as I got married at 21

[@jankapf5807]

I totaly agree. I got married at 23, had no kids. Now we are 37 and I can not imagine how the rest of the women who desire kids would be mothers at this age. It seems to me soooo exhausting and so much pressure. We are trying for 30 years not be pregnant and hey ho...we marry at 33 and now we want kids and if it does not go as imagined, it brings unhapiness, IVF etc.

[@adamillerart8187]

It’s so fun to watch your videos. We are a cross-cultural family too (American and Russian from Kazakhstan). We will be moving to Germany for the next three years, so it’s fun to learn about German traditions through you. Thanks for sharing with us! :)