Debunking The Myths & Misunderstandings of Borderline Personality Disorder

Please watch: "How You Can Control Your Emotions with Dr. Fox - Affective Regulation"
• How You Can Control Yo... -~-
This video is aimed at Debunking The Myths & Misunderstandings of Borderline Personality Disorder. The goal is to help educate not only those who may be experiencing BPD, and BPD traits, but those loved ones who are trying to understand what someone with BPD, or BPD traits, is going through and the treatment prognosis.
I discuss the four global aspects that make up BPD:
1) Interpersonal Dysregulation
2) Affective and Emotional Dysregulation
3) Behavioral Dysregulation
4) Self Dysregulation
Then I work to enhance understanding of BPD by giving research based information about BPD and it's treatment outcome.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD -COMING SOON-
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children: www.amazon.com...
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
KZbin: / drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
Citation:
Zanarini, et al. (2010). Time to Attainment of Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder and Stability of Recovery: A 10-year Prospective Follow-Up Study. American Journal of Psychiatry, 167: 663-667.

[@JenniKellogsbrand]

When I listen to you. It's like you know the deepest parts of me that I've been trying to hide from people my whole life. You bring me such comfort and make me feel accepted

[@thelemite935]

☝👽

[@lauralittle6899]

Exactly. !! Hey I accidently bumped thumbs down .I meant to give you thumbs up !!!👍❤

[@make_anyone_laugh]

I was just about to write exactly the same. I've never seen anything like this before and wondered all my life whats wrong with me.

[@heyitsbethxo9957]

Dr Fox I started crying, I was told I'd never get better, there is no cure , I've changed after different therapies especially DBT taught me coping skills, interpersonal relationship skills. I'm intuitive not only with negative feelings. I work on my issues and illnesses I am not my illness I am more than some disease and it won't define me

[@kjkj6362]

Hey it's Beth xo Thank you for sharing, I just dropped off a loved one for DBT in patient and pray it changes her life

[@brooklynb3707]

I needed to read this today. You give me hope.

[@alysfreeman11]

I'm 60 and only now entering into psychological support...when I look back at my behaviours I cringe. I have learnt to manage it by keeping a tight rein on myself, isolation, no booze, no relationships, no dramas just to keep myself non reactive...and peaceful while seeing my care coordinator and waiting for therapy to start....maybe the last part of my life will be happy.

[@gadorventura7359]

Brava! Ojalá que así sea la última parte de tu vida: en paz contigo y feliz porque lo mereces (like everyone). Un abrazo desde Barcelona :) y aúpa todos!

[@timothymcdonnell7942]

I'll be 60 this year too. It's hard to accept my past. AA 12 Steps have been a big help and the Dr Fox Workbook lessons have disconnected many of my emotional triggers. It's hard to explain but feel like I am just starting to get better. Dig into the work of recovery, you have to want it. I hope you feel better.

[@terri28]

Hope you are doing well.

[@lauralittle6899]

Hi 👋 how have you been ? I liked your comment!💪

[@chelseakevorkian4998]

You’re actually the reason I was able to inform my doctor that I wasn’t bipolar II - & shouldn’t be taking lamotrigine - & now I can finally focus just on getting better. Once I said it, she went quite - focusing on her computer for a bit, & she just said... “that’s it”. You’re an angel of so many sorts & I appreciate your care and effort in actually shedding light.

[@Jewels_8404]

Same here. I was told I’m bi polar 2 for the past two years but my mother being a psyc nurse knew it was an incorrect diagnosis and always told me about BPD.... finally after dr. Fox and his videos I left that place and an in outpatient treatment now.

[@nicorizzo5402]

Lamotrigine can help with bpd too though! It helps me with both my bipolar and my bpd.

[@KatJ3st]

Yes!!! So many shrinks in my city just jump on the latest diagnostic trend of Bipolar . They just LOVE dishing out Lithium like it's a miracle drug not poison. Thank God my shrink didn't fall for that narrow minded and frankly narcissistic mind set.

[@SageIsabella]

I was the opposite. When I received my borderline personality disorder diagnosis in 2013, I was ashamed and avoided getting help for it. Instead, I told each therapist since 2013 that I was bipolar. My psychiatrist eventually prescribed me Lamotrigine (Lamictal) too. No it did not help. I haven't been on medication since late 2017 and not going back. But I have since accepted my borderline personality disorder after the disaster I created in a failed relationship and am trying my best to recover and push through this disorder. I am no longer ashamed and just want to get better and be better.

[@heyitsbethxo9957]

I applaud you for taking initiative in your treatment. And bringing that research to your Doctor. For seeing a Dr. I've been in treatment on and off my entire life but believe in Psychiatry and therapy. DBT helped me so much. I'm so happy you're doing well. Keep up the fight. Everyday is a win.

[@timothymcdonnell7942]

I've had 35 jobs in 42 years. This is just one of the problems that BPD traits has left me with. I am telling you this to say that being "diagnosed" has been a big help. My job problem is not the result of poor character or week will. My job problem is the result of a disorder that I now know that I have. It doesn't define me, it explains me. Now I can get better. Thank you Dr. Fox

[@briellehunter7233]

Timothy McDonnell Same lol

[@OliveElite]

I also have problems with jobs...what do you do?

[@heysexylady181]

I also struggle with BPD but I never had a hard time holding down a job, so i dont know what this is like, but I'm sure it's difficult. I hope things get better for you!

[@stephendare942]

I have had exactly the same problem with BPD but not only jobs but every relationship I have formed in my life and this has meant I never married until I was sixty and never had children, since my wife died I have been on my own, I have never found an answer to this illness despite spending my whole adult life looking for one.

[@timothymcdonnell7942]

@@OliveElite I have 1 and 1/2. years on my job now. I have wanted to quit and move soooo many times but I am making good money and I actually like the people that I work for. It's hard to describe, I'll just say that the Workbook has opened my eyes. Apparently I have lived my life in the "fight, flight, or run" mindset. There is no reasonable explanation for quitting I just need to run. I am also learning about C PTSD. Meditation helps too. I hope you feel better.

[@captainharlock2280]

i have borderline. but at the same time, i’m capable of being happy even as i experience this intense pain. it’s a strange feeling. the ironic feeling of happiness

[@jfromtheisland9520]

I have BPD and bi-polar disorder. I take medications daily, go to therapy once a week and see a psychiatrist twice a month. It’s absolutely destroyed my life I don’t know how I’m alive. Between impulsive decisions,manic episodes, constantly feeling empty inside, seeing everything black and white, being suicidal, thinking that everyone’s going to abandon me, anger issues, over reacting and trying to figure out who I am it’s been hard but understanding why I do the things I do and working on my self little by little and finally getting help can really change your life. I just ran across your video and I like that you’re helping people understand more about BPD.

[@lindseyclark9307]

Spot on Daniel. I will use this as a tool for family members. Your ability to inspire hope with diagnosis has been a literal life saver for me. 'Accept, acknowledge and move on' is my trigger mantra. Many thanks for the insight and dedication you are blessed with

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you.

[@nicorizzo5402]

I also have both.

[@MetalMew2]

Same, I'm from the U.K. and was diagnosed with BPD, they tried to psuh the EUPD aspect on me, but I did my research and did some journaling early...and it helped, I suspect I suffer from BPD and Manic Depressive Bi-polar co-morbidity....So far no real treatment plan just Sertraline. Daniel and Katie Morton...Both have helped greatly in substantiating that I'm not "making it up" and should probably just be listened to, tested, then medicated or helped...and not discouraged. We all deserve at least that much empathy, and understanding.

[@misstery5942]

My whole life has felt like this too

[@nicorizzo5402]

Another myth I've seen spread like wildfire about bpd lately is that everyone who has bpd is automatically abusive. That isn't true in the slightest, even if you have all 9 traits, because not only are there different combinations of traits but each trait manifests in different ways. For example I tend to direct my anger and mood swings towards myself rather than at others, so rather than see me fly into a rage when my instability is triggered you're more likely to see me self harm or break down crying.

[@eminemilly]

This honestly stopped me from researching about it and people saying it's not an illness they're all just a holes.

[@harribo9238]

They confuse borderline personality disorder with NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER. there's a reason narcissistic is an ADJECTIVE. In my experience, as someone who has borderline pd, I ATTRACT or it FEELS like a attract abusers. Relationships AND friendships. I am aware I am extremely vulnerable in many different ways and this seems to appeal to a certain type of man unfortunately.

[@drinkmorewater5341]

This is one thing that made me so afraid to research BPD in the first place as I've heard even psychologists talk about it as one of "those" illnesses, like psychopathy & narcissism. I'm not unempathetic nor do I try to manipulate & hurt others so I thought I couldn't possibly be borderline.

[@olympics1234567]

@@drinkmorewater5341 If you don't manipulate or hurt anyone, and are very empathetic, you don't have BPD.

[@olympics1234567]

@Raven At least they don't think their abusive.

[@ThatkidwithCP]

Thank you for not telling others to leave people with BPD like so many other areas do.

[@jenniferberry120785]

A diagnosis is only something to obtain payment from insurance for treatment. I know I have BPD and I can now get the correct treatment. My recovery has been slow process but I have had remissions. I still hit crisis moments however I know the path is not hopeless. I have a lot of triggers that I can not label due to very early trauma. Never give up everyone

[@DrDanielFox]

Awesome comment, thanks!!

[@carleflores9065]

"Hollywood is not a good place to get mental health data"

[@mad7fisher]

i always thought Borderlines would make best actors (and maybe they do!) we're such oscar worthy actors, acting like wer'e fine, when inside this wheel of symptoms is always spinning inside us, everyone else in world seems get on ok, but we always feel out sync with world, its so easy for everyone else, i feel like I'm a spectator, & not a participant in this scary world

[@dahliafiend]

I’m an actor and would say that having access to big emotions when needed on stage or on camera is the only positive aspect of this horrible disorder.

[@danisaperez6295]

I was "diagnosed" after being admitted (for two weeks) to a psychiatric clinic, but that was just nonsense on my discharge papers, to me. The evaluation was never discussed with me, so I had no idea that anything was really wrong. I should have been told what BPD was, and given treatment options... fast forward a year, and I needed emergency treatment for major depression after my husband left me. It's six years later, and I was looking online for tips to cope with dissociation, but by chance it led to just a little deeper research, which taught me what BPD actually means, and I feel hopeful about my future for the first time. I can only imagine how different things might have been if this had been explained to me while I was in inpatient care.

[@self-improvement7855]

I was going through a depressive phase of self-defeating thoughts, shame, and flashbacks of past traumas. I was literally laying on the floor until I remembered a video of yours suggesting that treatment is about changing maladaptive behavior patterns. I decided to pick myself up off my floor in a depressed mental state and watch several of your videos to try to instill a more healthy behavior of study and exhaust myself through it as suggested by your ACE video. It worked and I was able to stabilize myself. Thank you.

[@Sandi-sz4pc]

You're a wonderful person and an exceptional DR, making people feel human and hopeful and valuable. Community MH teams in the UK (NHS) mostly ignore patients with this disorder, and one psychiatrist has informed me that he feels BPD patients are a waste of his time as he can't allow his team's time to be taken up by quote: "pandering to their whims", that they are manipulative attention seekers, and that borderlines can't be helped because they don't want to be helped ... the nightmare to access treatment (psychiatric or otherwise - took 3 years for a doctor to finally realise I wasnt imagining fynromalgia) if you dont have a lot of money in UK is very frustrating. Your talks are a huge help in helping me, to help myself and I've sign posted many people on BPD forums to your channel. It doesn't feel like it's enough to just say thank you.

[@sambucca1817]

Thanks for that. I too am in the U.K. I was told that antidepressants wouldn’t be good for me, because over the years.. they haven’t worked on me. I think I’ve tried every antidepressant out there. It was only about 6 months ago, I was told that medication doesn’t help BPD! I wasn’t offered counselling, just given a few pages of info on mental health from MIND.

[@dominiqueshears4249]

I am always in so much pain from BPD, except for those few times, now and then, where I’m very happy. I cry all the time, lately. I have no one whom I can talk to. I have not been in a relationship for 3 years because I was ensnared by a Narcissist, so now I’m afraid to date. But, I feel so empty, and feel nonexistent without a relationship. I feel like I have no purpose in life, and the emptiness is frightening. I wish I had a steady companion who could understand me, and help guide me, even if it was just online. I feel rather desperate, at this point. Thank you for these videos, Dr. Daniel Fox.

[@DrDanielFox]

You may want to try journaling. It's better to get it out than hold it in. Journaling can be written, but ti can also be video and drawing too. Be well.

[@dominiqueshears4249]

Dr. Daniel Fox thank you for your kind reply.

[@dominiqueshears4249]

Serina Perry Thank you so much. You are so kind! ♥️♥️♥️

[@dominiqueshears4249]

Serina Perry ♥️♥️♥️

[@berniekennedy9793]

Exactly unless its physical disability its just shrugged off 📝 The mirror view is spot on 📝💎

[@DrDanielFox]

Bernie Kennedy thanks

[@stellaorgana2985]

On distorted self image- "but imagine you're not in a fun house, but it's your life" Thank you much for putting that into words.

[@Roxy111166]

I was diagnosed BPD in 2007. After many different medications, 2 intensive outpatient therapies and many DBT and CBT skills groups, and years of individual therapy, I was told in 2016 by my then psychiatrist that I was in recovery. I never thought it was possible to overcome, and it was HARD work, but I guess it can happen! I hope other people with the diagnosis can be helped like I was. I still have to work on things on a daily basis, and I also have PTSD so sometimes trauma issues will come up that mimic BPD, so it's still a battle. It's very hard for me to "pat myself on the back" for my hard work, but I am proud that I have come so far after most of a lifetime of suffering. Your videos make me feel so much better, even about things I have already learned. Thank You so much Dr. Fox!!

[@kanishkasharma6178]

Your channel is very informative sir. Thank you for helping someone who has a loved one with bpd.

[@DrDanielFox]

+Kanishka Sharma you’re welcome. I’m glad you find the videos helpful.

[@Rino37]

Thank you for not giving up on your loved on with BPD.

[@A_Deeper_Look]

Dr. Fox thank you so much again for your videos. I could cry with how much I appreciate you. I have struggled for so long to understand what is going on with myself and you have helped me more than you could know and shown me things I didn’t even realize that I was doing and were not normal and rational. It is so comforting and encouraging that you’re so compassionate and understanding because as you say I find myself and the disorder to be so incredibly misunderstood. I saw an article on psychology today explaining that the word “manipulative” is such a misrepresentation of our intentions. We are desperate. One quote resonated with me “we don’t harm ourselves to manipulate. We harm ourselves because the rush of endorphins caused by acute physical pain can be the only relief we can find from the intense inner pain of being borderline. Imagine how bad you would have to feel to want to kill yourselves- borderlines feel like that almost all the time.” I wish people could understand. You’re videos explaining the disorder to loved ones have been invaluable to me also, although have a parent and partner with npd it doesn’t do much for me. I would so much appreciate, if you could, another video about the relationship between individuals with bpd and npd, and possibly a video to help partners and love ones understand the severe anxiety that can come with bpd, and how to be considerate and supportive of this. Unfortunately my partner (on npd spectrum for sure, which I’m painfully aware is likely a losing battle anyway), sees my anxiety as weakness and can’t understand why I “let it control me”.

[@saffysaffy3239]

Me too

[@LavosGaming]

Thank you for this video, Dr. Fox! I have BPD myself and your videos help me so much, they calm me down and help me realize that there is hope for me. Also, this is random, but when I visted your webpage and saw that you got your Ph.D from WVU, I was like "Oh that's interesting, he got that in the state I reside in!" and that made me happy that someone who went to a school here has gone on to help people who have this disorder as I do.

[@patoberlein8419]

Thank you. I’m trying to understand my sons girlfriend

[@nobodynowhere5213]

Your sons girlfriend is mostly likely just like you. Thats how it works.

[@OliveElite]

That's really lovely thank you from all of us with BPD

[@rebeccaharris250]

These videos are great. Can you do a video about high-functioning BPD and denial, and how they can change past previously disclosed facts about their lives to support feeling like they don’t have BPD? Also, what the best thing is to do as a loved one to deal with this (beyond leaving)?

[@hollyfabiani]

Check CPTSD. Family, check ALNON and substitute emotion for alcohol.

[@Alize.W]

I am feeling victimized by this comment. Don't worry, this has been discussed in therapy... great video suggestion.

[@eminemilly]

aca is adult children of alcoholics or other dysfunctional families and focuses a lot on emotions and self love and codependency. Also they have just emotions anonymous, self injury anonymous, etc. ACA has the most literature though and is the only 12 step group I know that takes inventory of your family of origin instead of just yourself. And theres phone meetings multiple times a day and a workshop on awakening your inner child/true self. Also there's an agnostic meeting if you prefer that

[@NidhiSharma-sp9bq]

You are the only psychologist I've come across who speaks without stigmatizing Bpd and have empathy for those who have bpd. I wish I could seek treatment/therapy from you. Thanks for your videos. They make me feel less of a monster.

[@totothedog8830]

Finding your channel has been a blessing.

[@theciav]

The constant message you give in all your videos is hope. I am grateful you have taken the time to present your knowledge in a totally non judgmental way. Between my therapist and you I am on the road to recovery. 😊

[@DrDanielFox]

+Tony Ciavarella that’s terrific!!

[@bellangelina1]

Thank you for informing us on personality disorders. We believe we have a FAMILY member who shows traits of BPD. Your channel is very important to us.

[@DrDanielFox]

+Theresa Tomsello you’re welcome. I’m glad you find the videos helpful.

[@jenniferclose7162]

Needed to view this video, today. I especially appreciated the statement (not, verbatim), "Even if, under particularly stressful conditions, you take 4/5 steps back... If you've already made 15 steps forward- you're not back at the starting line". The past month, or so has been full of "triggering" moments, and uncommon stress, in general. This video helped me to remember, that- 2 years ago, I would've ended up in a psychiatric facility under such conditions. I can do this- because, I'm still treading water... Even if not, swimming like an olympic champ💜

[@Slarti]

At the age of 49 I have always been confused by what I experience. I have been through a lot of therapy, some of which has helped. I have also done CBT which has helped a lot. It is only recently that I have personally explored BPD and discovered that I fulfil every single of the 9 factors. What got me really interested was when I hear that an indicator of BPD is when depression suddenly lifts as soon as the cause of the depression disappears - this is exactly how my depression operates. Then when I read into BPD further it really helped make sense of my experience. I would like to see BPD renamed as it is a very deceptive name based on the neurotic/psychotic diagnosis split. By the way Dr Fox - I think your channel is fantastically helpful and you show so much compassion, of course i need to be careful not to idealise you in case I then demonise you(okay that's a bad BPD joke but it is something I am very capable of doing).

[@anthonyhurtado7358]

Bingo!! I feel all these emotions I have been working with myself for most of my life. I get confused about where to start when I think its good to start with my anger but then that triggers the fear. when I think its best to start working on letting go of abandonment, that triggers so much other shit. even to write down what I feel its do confusing, so overwhelming, I don't know where to start, should I start with my anger, should I start with my fear, should I work on my guilt and shame? all this becomes overwhelming, It's easier to go back to drinking, or spend hours on FB or anything that takes me away from all the garbage I carry with me. I am getting better but it's taking me a long time because I don't know where to start. When I watch videos on people who are distorted, I tell myself that's me, I have all those disorders, I have all I need, my house, food on the table, but I don't have love to give or do I have loved given to me. The most important thing for me is love, it's so hard to feel it to give it. i know one thing for sure, i will die happy because i am not giving up on love, that's goal to love

[@KimPosteryournewpenpal]

this is a great video to show loved ones who need to understand BPD!

[@PomegranateStaindGrn]

EXCELLENT video, Dr. Fox! Thank you so much! The only thing I would say is that there are patients who use diagnosis to understand and hold ourselves accountable - with help from loved ones who set boundaries and call us out in a constructive and productive way.

[@DrDanielFox]

Jamie Brower I agree and hope my statements did not come across differently.

[@djsj2k8]

This made me cry. I wish I knew about this before so I could better understand someone I really care about and love. It all makes sense now. I understand this so much clearer now. I'm going through figuring out my issues, it's hard as we work through them separated.

[@MrGpoulin]

I am recovering from a relationship with a pwBPD. I really loved this woman and I hope she can manage to get a good life in spite of all the defense mechanisms that interfere with her relationships (at least those that get to a certain deep level). I really like this Dr.Fox guy. I like that, unlike so many self-proclaimed "experts" or "coaches" on the web who never hesitate to demonize and condemn people with BPD, he looks kindly on them, and he never dramatizes or overdramatizes what this disease is about. In brief, he recalls us all the time that pwBPD are, just like us, human beings and they have not chosen their illness, they're not evil either. People with BPD only have one life to live, just like us, what can they do to make it good in spite of the disease, and how important it is that they do not sense or feel that we are judgemental when we interact with them r when we discuss about their condition. Thanks Dr. Fox for the hope you bring.

[@tracy6568]

I was diagnosed with BPD 6 years ago and mental health here in UK are not interested no much how much I beg and try and educate after learning from expert Dr fox that simply throwing every antidepressant at me doesn't help! First time ever I feel some hope! Please know Dr fox that having someone like you who understands and cares makes sooo much difference to people like us thankyou! 🙏🥰

[@rhondagehring3785]

Keep posting - we have just found out our youngest daughter has BPD and we’ve been through hell - but thank God you give hope instead of totally grim news- please post more on how parents can help adult children and boundary setting for a very codependent anxious mom -

[@sjensen9024]

Thank you Dr Fox. Your videos have changed my life forever for the better, given me hope and helped real healing to begin. Your videos have become a life line to understanding for me. I am a PMHNP and work with Native Americans. Your videos have also changed how I view my patients and their situations. Thank you so very much.

[@avosquirrel231]

Speaking to recovery and prognosis. I reconnected with my social worker that I had as an adolescent after 28 years. She told me that was the most challenging case of her career working with the state and schools. I had duel diagnosis and multi page diagnosis list, everything except BPD. I split my time growing up as a run away street kid, over a dozen hospitalizations, and group homes across the state. She became emotional that I have 23 years sobriety and am mostly managed and functional not needing medications. I reconnected after I saw she was still practicing and thought she would appreciate seeing that I was still alive and knowing what happened after I AWOLed from the last group home. At 45, I finally hit a point where I am receptive to professional help and learning what the h**l was going on as a kid, we all put together in hindsight BPD, CPTSD, and an attachment disorder, likely RAD.

[@make_anyone_laugh]

Thank you for this video ❤ Im a 34yo man who's ruined every single personal relationship I've ever had in really bad and unlogical ways and done and said so much things I've never meant and its just left a trail of ruin, self destruction, hate and in the end lonliness... After another total meltdown with a girlfriend and a breakup I'm currently in she informed me about borderline and watching this video made me cry like never before because everything you speak of is like defining exactly to the point who I am and how i see and experience the world. I now at least have hope to get better but finding help is hard. Ar the mental ward in Switzerland they just told me that only females can have borderline and I'm too old to have it and sent me home again the morning after a suicide attemt. If anyone has a tip of how to get help i would appreciate it. ❤❤

[@sarahs413]

What a RELIEF to hear you talk about it going into remission so soon after being diagnosed with having so many of the nine criteria while already having been diagnosed with PTSD of many years in extensive traumas. I just thought the C-PTSD had gotten significantly worse and was FLOORED when the diagnosis of having BPD was added. (When I watched your video describing the nine criteria and the severity levels, I knew I couldn't second-guess the diagnosis.) I am SO very thankful to have stumbled across your videos and doing a lot of reflecting back at my life, how I feel calmer when hearing you explain things - your wording of everything and breaking it all down to bits and working through it after explaining each thing .... it's HARD WORK with sweat and tears and watch your videos every day including being in psychotherapy for it along with EMDR treatment for the C-PTSD (two separate specialists working hand in hand and then your videos that I found), but I have been working on this VERY hard to get it back into remission (Giving myself time to rest as needed). Thank you SO much. Your time and my time does not go wasted in these videos (and others!). It is LITERAL sweat and tears, but I am determined to get it under a managed level and reign this in. Thank you. I sat with the therapist who knows about this as well and showed a video of yours, discussing it together. She's impressed as well, so you're VERY appreciated, Dr. Fox! (Now for sleep with guided sleep meditations). ....... I do have the tendency of overdoing it with not being patient with myself if I'm not careful which just backfires on me .... I rest as needed and there have been several times when I overdo it when I don't realize when "as needed" is with struggles of time management. It's frustrating when I think back to when it wasn't so prevalent after a turmoil beyond comprehension relationship ..... I don't even know if I'm talking too much in comments ... maybe it helps others or maybe it's trying to figure things out ... or maybe both .... it's definitely an "uncertain / confusion" disorder.

[@toricooper2524]

This is such a powerful video. I cried watching this because it felt like he was describing me. Everything he’s said is so true ❤️ he describes everything that I cant

[@ursulasamsa]

the way you talk makes me feel so hopeful that i'll recover with continued treatment, thank you!

[@Jewels_8404]

This was an amazing video, thank you for breaking things down the way you do. I’m definitely going to send the link for this video to my husband. He finds your videos just as helpful as I do. I’m currently in intensive outpatient treatment and learning a lot of tools to function in life the best I can. It’s extremely difficult but I’m determined to learn how to overcome the issues that have been overcoming me. I’m a survivor and BPD is not going to define me and ruin my life or the people I love around me.

[@DrDanielFox]

Jodi Lynn you’re awesome!! Keep it up and stay strong.

[@blackfairyxdusy]

You can see how much you understand and how you take a lot of care to make sure you don’t upset anyone. You aren’t just going through the motions, you really care. I’ve got lots of mental health stuff going on (Obviously BPD is the most prevalent and how I found this). Your patients are very lucky people! After 14 years and loads of doctors and therapists I kinda got the ‘goodbye good luck’ thing after the pretty rigid ‘one size fits all) BPD treatment. I wish I could afford to go private. If I ever do I’ll be incredibly annoyed if they don’t share your insight and passion! Dr.Fox you help me feel validated!

[@musicandglamour9184]

Thank you. I think just feeling like we aren’t suffering alone is the best way to progress to getting better, slowly. DBT didn’t work for me because to be honest I found it very dumb and elementary. I felt like I was in kindergarten being told how to act and not “hit others and share”..... we actually had to crackle candy wrappers and listen to it... and then concentrate on eating it. Basically it just didn’t work for me. Learning the characteristics of the disorder and the difficulties we struggle with is the best way for me to try and find a way that works best for me personally to combat each of the criteria. For example, I did lots of drugs in my teens and early twenties and then got sober of my own volition. Now I’m a mother of two and still struggle with depression and exhaustion especially if the day before was very social or emotionally exerting.... which it always is because everyone talks to me and spills their guts...which I enjoy, and often am able to help them. But the next day, I’m so drained I feel like I can hardly move. Now I’m working on boundaries. But the drugs/alcohol/addiction and self harm is no longer an issue at 33 years old. I still have suicidal thoughts... sometimes a lot and sometimes I can go months being ok. But 9 times out of 10 I will check myself into the hospital before attempting suicide because I know my children need me. I just hope my days in bed don’t F them up someday when they look back. It IS an illness, and it can be very physically painful. I don’t think people talk about the physical effects of BPD as much as they should.... just my experience.

[@bhaktamcs]

The clarity in this video is absolutely amazing. I’ve seen many of your other clips but this outshines them all. Now there is something I can forward to family and friends who want to know more about the challenges I face. Will seek out publications and other materials produced by you to aid in my wellness. Thanks for giving hope that I can manage BPD.

[@JonathanB824]

thank you so much for this video. with all the recently growing dangerous stigma about BPd its nice to have someone who is actually a professional debunking a lot of the harmfulls tuff being spread about us and the condition. so thank you so much

[@mrsfloridablue54]

I can't stop crying!..no one ever told me that treatment can be a success ( it's such important news...even if it's only "half" successful) ...I've believed PPD/BPD was something i will always contend with and will have to focus my whole being on. It is so encouraging to know..that there might be a day when I will think maybe I can let up working on this in order to function in this world. I'm so emotionally tired, thanx for even this glimmer of light..

[@wendychavez5348]

Understanding vs. Acceptance is a valuable distinction! I don't accept my outbursts, nor do my loved ones, though we've all learned to not be surprised by them. I'm working very hard on de-escalation techniques (DBT helped a LOT) and I've stopped just throwing apologies around before I've taken further action, or at least made plans.

[@becomepneuma5629]

I've just been diagnosed with BPD by my new psychiatrist, last week. He also diagnosed me with bipolar 1 and complex PTSD. I'm still trying to process my diagnoses, even though I also feel overwhelming sense of relief that someone has finally listened to me after 40 years of my life being in chaos. Your videos on BPD are so incredibly insightful, validating and reassuring. Putting a name to how disjointed and fractured I've felt for so long means I now know that I have a clearer trajectory towards helping myself, but I've been feeling very overwhelmed by that, too. Thank you for being so concise and informative about BPD and for being able to give words and reassurance to all the things I have inside me all the time that I've not known how to address.

[@waxxxdripdrop2736]

Thank you so much for making these videos, without them I wouldn’t know where my mental state would be.. Things were getting worse and worse to the point where I didn’t think I could handle it anymore. I have all 9 traits, and it was becoming to much to bare, until I found your videos! Because of what you do here on KZbin I can manage my BPD symptoms and try to live a normal life. You’re videos even help my family to learn and educate themselves so we can all live in a happy home, now that my family and I understand more, and know how to handle things. I am honestly so thankful for everything you do to help others understand what BPD is truly like. You have honestly saved me. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to live my life again! 💚

[@camillemendiola3091]

Dr. Fox, I just want to say: I absolutely love your channel! I've recently discovered the high likelihood that I have BPD traits or even have BPD. There really isn't much information out there on BPD especially in comparison to other mental illnesses like depression. I really appreciate your content as it really helps with reducing the stigma that continues to surround BPD. Looking forward to more videos!

[@zamyrabyrd]

Two questions: 1) What about Narcissism as a co-factor in Borderline? NPD is supposed to be quite intractable. 2) Living with a spouse who has mental issues of his or her own can keep a BPD hostage to a prison of unending triggers and manipulation, preventing healing. There are unscrupulous people who do play upon the weaknesses of others and a BPD would be a good candidate.

[@gabbetas]

In the middle of dating people toxically i met someone who without me idealizing him he’s someone very patient and in a way we’ve bonded cause we share some feelings, sometimes im scared he’s a codependent but ive found myself trying to find reasons why im not deserving of his support and affection, ive been watching and reading stuff online and it’s terrifying to see the things that people say about bpd, i take them to heart and it makes me feel disabled and unlovable, seeing that “bpd people cant love” it broke my mind, i wanna be empathetic and normal, im desperate to get better but money can be a huge thing when you want to engage in treatment

[@KimPosteryournewpenpal]

Watching this again... I wish more ppl tried to understand bpd.

[@guesswho5790]

Hi Dr. Fox! This has been very helpful for me and my family (I'm the one with some BPD traits). Any other emotion I can sort of deal with, but when I get angry, I get furious and I feel out of control. If you could spare some time and do a video on that it would be great! Only I watch anything you do, because it's always helpful. Have a good day!

[@DrDanielFox]

Rage and BPD is on my list. Be well and use mindfulness to help you calm and plot your behavioral responses. Be well.

[@DEDHEDPOET.]

Thank you Dr. Fox. Your unique insight into the world of a "splitter" always comforts and reassures me. If anyone could understand living with BPD more, they would probably be living it for the last 40 yrs, as I. Good job!

[@Popgunner101]

I've now had 8 visits with a therapist because my 33 year old daughter and my wife told me they think I have a very mild case of BPD. After meeting with me and sometimes me and my wife as a couple, my therapist decided to go over the 9 points that flag BPD and I answered her truthfully on each point. She said I don't seem to have any of the traits. She said she would treat me as far as my marriage relationship which has been difficult this year especially but we've had 36 years of what I think is a pretty good marriage. I did have a traumatic childhood and some traumas since but my therapist seems to think I'm handling the traumas well. My wife is also going to therapy and is this year questioning many things in her life like our religion and her relationship with me. I reported to my wife what my therapist said and my wife disagrees. She says that because sometimes she and I remember situations differently I must be dissociating. And down the list. She says I have all the traits. In two days my wife will meet with me and my therapist. It'll be an interesting meeting.

[@jennifermaxine2453]

The only relationship issues I've had as a borderline were those with a controlling person. Best friends or boyfriends that tried to exacerbate my boundaries & yes I do have boundaries. Just not with a Narcissist or psycho. I get along with everyone else just fine. No power struggle.

[@pjoy8257]

Thank you , thank you, thank you Dr. Fox! Yesterday my psychologist mentioned so many possible diagnoses/co-conditions, and possible features I may have based on a sophisticated and deemed very reliable diagnostic test. Based on my answers to 175 questions, the computer generated all kinds of things. I was so overwhelmed by all the possible diagnoses that BPD was the only one I remember. I was "clinical" in many areas and significantly clinical in other areas/possible diagnoses. Maybe, this only shows the huge amount of overlap that exists in my situation. I'm going to think of it this way because I can handle this thought a little better. Dr. Fox thank you so much for giving me hope today because it's possible I have this diagnosis. I have BP now and MDD, but I'm not sure how this may change after my psychologist examines more information and feedback from me. My psychiatrist has referred me to a psychologist for a Psych-Eval to obtain clarification in specific areas relating to mood, trauma, etc. So, hopefully I do have BPD, and I really do have hope.

[@haywire4212]

Does the emptiness ever go away even with professional treatment? I cant find anything saying it does

[@j0hnnybutt713]

After watching this video today I have made the decision to seek out a new therapist who actually believes in and understands BPD so I can start making real progress with my life. Thank you Dr Fox, you really are so appreciated.

[@firemoontarot7253]

Thank you so much for these videos. We are not hopeless abusers. We can heal with awareness and treatment! We are warm, caring loving people! Not monsters!!

[@susannec659]

God bless Dr. Fox and all those who suffer from BPD. Good luck and much love to you.

[@leonasalazar6383]

I've been dealing with BPD, bipolar anxiety, panic attacks, ptsd, social anxiety, this is the first time I understand BPD, I've been taking something for almost 30 yrs never stable, plus I have chronic pain from breaking my back in 91, I do not take pain pills, im 55 and lost. But this has helped me understand part of my diagnosis. I will watch the one on bipolar thank u

[@dawngale3457]

I just want to be alone and sleep but can't get out of my thoughts out my head. I just want to forget things. Mirrors I don't want to look at myself.

[@sunshineleo24]

Thank you for all you do for this community ♡

[@jakeroe1327]

Yes, what you are saying about the emptiness part is is true, I feel it, you said it almost like I say it, how I say it is...I could be in a room with loved ones...yet I feel all alone.

[@jakeroe1327]

and I was one of the 40 percent that was misdiagnosed with bi-polar disorder that you speak of, I actually resent it and when I think of it, it triggers me because for a time, I thought I Was bi-polar and I am not, I don't like being screwed with and that's what I felt like it was...me being screwed with.

[@wendychavez5348]

I relate to all of these. The ED of my company once told me about IED (intermittent explosive disorder), mostly in relation to my recent arrest for what was effectively a street brawl, though she deals with it from a family member with a different condition--the same condition as a family member of mine has--so obviously I have a very understanding employer! After that incident I was (finally! ) diagnosed with BPD, but the most disturbing part is definitely the IED and the resulting self harm.

[@josephinesipple6956]

Unbelievable! So many ideas brought to light that I have no idea how to conceptualize much less explain symptoms to family. Great video. A must watch, repeatedly, for people who think they might be having some mental health issues. This is a phenomenally unparalleled description with solutions!!!! Thank you Dr Fox! So generous to share your knowledge and expertise 🙏🏻❤️

[@DrDanielFox]

+Josephine Sipple 🦊👍

[@AntiFeminist_She_Her_Queen]

As someone who has a mother with bpd, who always tried to label me as bpd as well,ty so much for your videos ,its helped me understand alot.

[@DrDanielFox]

You are so welcome!

[@haileyantonio5637]

I know I’m late to this video, but thank you for this. This video will help me explain my diagnosis to my loved ones.

[@TerryGuzmanMartinez]

I believe that healing begins when the person with BPD is conscious of it and starts searching for help, otherwise, we can't do anything, sadly 😭😭 They, we, need to face our child's wounds in order to heal.

[@oldcity1998]

This is really fantastic I have a child with BPD. They had a fantastic six month outpatient therapy which really helped. But we never really came up with a plan she never created a goal and so through the hard moments it has been very confusing. As we throw things like job and school too fast it has become problematic. so I appreciate that you stressed the continuing therapy

[@lorenahagle2356]

Oh for crying out loud, Dr. Fox.. your information is an answer to my prayers... I wish I could find an excellent Psychologist as you here in SD, CA. In my case, my loved one has other comorbid conditions, such as Fibromyalgia, ADHD, Asperger's (awared abt DSM-5), Dyslexia/Dysgraphia/Dyscalculia, Asthma, allergies, chronic migraines, and of course anxiety/depression. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find a good therapist who can understand and help her/us... I'm the only person in her life and not young any more, so I do everything what I can (even going back to school and getting a BS in Psy).. many compliments for what I do for her, but my frustration is the lack of resources and especially of the understanding of so many therapists, since the once with more experience won't accept public health plans. Concerned for her future, I need to find help her SOON.. Thank you, again. God bless 🕊️

[@michellejudd5060]

Thank you Dr Fox .

[@emilysheadsonfire]

Thank you so much for this! Your videos have helped me understand myself. When you expressed that this diagnosis is a good prognosis, it gave me such a sense of relief. It was the first time, since being diagnosed, that I have felt hopeful.

[@smilingmindpositivity]

You have an amazing way of explaining BPD, I find it very difficult to even get started to explain it to my own friends and family for them to understand without excusing my behaviour

[@AmberW222]

Having my diagnosis hidden from me felt criminal as they pushed meds on me when they weren't helping. I understand from your perspective, but knowledge is power and I believed I had bipolar disorder for 2 years when I was actually diagnosed with bpd and didn't know

[@joanne5786]

I appreciate you posting these videos. You've helped me alot. Thank you very much!

[@sherrymanning1116]

I barely got this diagnosis about a year ago on top of others it's kinds hard to understand what exactly my problems are but I am trying to work on myself and listening to your videos is very helpful. I want to do better just can't seem to be in one place long enough to get help. Thank you for this probably the only way I can get any help

[@roxie10xoxo]

Wow this video was soooooooo good. Thank you so much!! I wish I could share this with everyone who has BPD.

[@gracepurcell7825]

Thank you Dr. Fox for your continued support, compassion and education on BPD. After years and years of failed relationships and jobs I am now fearful of entering into a new job or intimate relationship until I am able to manage my extreme anger & mood fluctuation..but it's not realistic to not work as I have to pay my rent, etc. Besides therapy & educating myself on BPD would support groups with others who have BPD be helpful?

[@DrDanielFox]

It can be if run and managed well, but this is tricky.

[@nivekvb]

I was told by a psychologist years ago that there was nothing wrong with me. I was just weak, others are strong, and most people are in the middle. He told me to get used to it.

[@bethlanglois9361]

The zero to hero and fun house mirror vision of self analogies were super helpful

[@wendychavez5348]

My worst trigger is probably frustration, and it's usually not immediate. If a slew of frustrating things happen in the same day or week, that might set me off. If a particular frustrating thing happens over and over and over, I might get triggered as early as the 4th or 5th time or as late as the hundredth time. It might be a combination of factors, and the ultimate trigger might be something relatively minor on top of but unrelated to the frustration I'm already struggling with. From where I sit it feels arbitrary, though my family and friends have seen patterns that I don't quite understand.

[@mad7fisher]

i look forward to seeing all your videos because you always come from a compassionate place; there are others who describe BPD with almost disgust? or seeming like were all offensive & even untreatable, which is nonsense; when all we really want is to love, & be loved in return...no one loves & adores another as the borderline does

[@annamermaid2918]

A good phrase I like to use is its not a write off. The behavior caused by the disorder doesn't entitle the negative consequences from the behaviour a write off.

[@Auzzymakesvidz]

My family dr said "I know that you won't actually hurt yourself". She's my person, she said that 5 days ago and I'm still stuck in that place, still hurt. I'm afraid if I bother her again before my next appointment she'll drop me as a patient for being annoying, but I can't imagine 30 more days of this thought... she's never mentioned bpd, and just keeps giving me medicine that's not helping..

[@reallythere]

Don't let that person's lack on understanding stall your progress. She might not have meant it as a dismissing comment and might not understand what it can do to you. Keep your focus and keep getting better. Take care.

[@cam2307]

I am here for you. I have diagnosed BPD and go to therapy twice a week. I would love to point you in the right direction.

[@MsJanetLouise]

Cameron Morrison : my husband is newly diagnosed and was wondering how you chose therapist - a psychologist or therapist? Anything specific to look for?

[@cam2307]

Find somebody with formal DBT training. It makes a night/day difference in their understanding of the disorder and their ways of guiding you through treatment.

[@nehneh5488]

I think I'm able to understand myself from what you are doing. Thank you for your interest in studying this. :)

[@DrDanielFox]

You are very welcome and I’m glad that you found it helpful.

[@allegraferrente7980]

this makes so much sense especially the fact that it's hard to make sense of!

[@nadia5685]

Best doctor ever , I send so many blessings 🙏

[@Rino37]

Thank you for your dedication to spreading awareness and understanding of BPD. It is very misunderstood and stigmatized.

[@janarama8029]

I have misophonia, and I was sad I couldn’t make it through that. :( I love what you have to say.

[@brandiee.9158]

You give me so much hope. Thank you Dr. Fox!

[@trueblue2869]

Thanks, I'm so happy that I can recover and I have already made another opponent with my Dr, I did run because I felt like nothing was going to help me but now I have hope, Thankyou so much..

[@ryandylan8521]

Can you help me find a psychiatrist in my area that actually understands borderline personality disorder? I am so tired of having to educate my doctors and psychiatrists. How am I ever going to get the help I need if I am too busy helping them learn about the disorder they are supposed to be helping me with? What to do when you want help, but there is no help?

[@DrDanielFox]

I have a video on finding a therapist that may give you suggestions. I wish you well and admire your drive to find help.

[@slimkatie498]

Did u ever find one??

[@llewynmitchell8602]

From my own experience I feel strongly against the withholding of a person's diagnosis from them. I found out by probing my referral contact about an issue I had had with an anxiety aid a couple years back and she mentioned that I was diagnosed with EUPD/BPD, which was news to me. Since learning of my diagnosis in early March I've already learned so much about the disorder (mostly through channels like yours) and have managed to really garner an understanding of why I have been in such torment for so many years. Though the pain is still here with me and though I still feel so far removed from humanity and the human experience, I, for the first time, have hope that I can be human and accept myself. I could now be sitting on 2 years of experience in fortifying myself against this illness instead of being at the beginning of my road to recovery. It was only by chance that I became aware of my diagnosis and to me that feel needlessly cruel. Sorry for the oversharing on this one Dr. Fox. Just feel really strongly about this subject matter. I hope that this finds you and yours well and in good health in these trying times. 😊

[@denisepresnell2800]

I wish there were thousands of you in our country.

[@denisepresnell2800]

Meaning - mental health providers who understand and treat BPD .

[@charlesbromberick4247]

Thanks, Doc., I think that this may well be your best video presentation I´ve yet seen. It´s not relevant here, but from this side of an ex-BPL relationship, the hardest thing for me to deal with wasn´t the sudden bursts of rage, nor the unwarranted vengeances, nor the self-destructive impulsivity, nor the constant fights over imagined circumstances, nor … IT WAS THE CHAMELEON (PLEASE EVERYONE) EFFECT OF NEVER KNOWING WHO WAS THE REAL. CENTERED PERSON´THAT SHE MIGHT TURN OUT TO BE BE WITH SUCCESSFUL THERAPY. Esse quam videri.

[@christopherrogers6194]

I am 41 years old and found out I had BPD in the ICU after a suicide attempt that should have killed me I took 6 bottles of insulin fast acting and long acting, I am grateful I am still here, but these videos are me, and I have gotten to the point where I do not want anyone in my life because it is too dangerous for me. I have such horrible fears about being abandoned I have actually visualized my fiance (now my ex) cheating on me, I was convinced it happened in every relationship I have had, and each time was punctuated by a suicide attempt. DBT therapy talking about it and groups haven't helped, I have voluntarily checked myself in to mental hospitals trying to get help, but I went through the standard you have MDD, or BP1 or 2, the time I found out what I had I had just gotten into an argument with the hospital psychologist and he walked out and screamed he has BPD, and I flipped out on him then researched it and everything fit. Anyways, I have gotten to the point where I want people in my life but I am terrified to have anyone in my life if that makes sense. Watching these videos kinda makes me feel like I am not totally alone. Otherwise all I have is my family 3000 miles away.

[@DrDanielFox]

+Christher Rogers I’m so glad they’re helpful. Be strong and be well.