Decenter Marriage & Take Your Power back!

[@enlightenedone7083]

I’m 53, single and childfree. Engaged twice, but I escaped🤣. I look far younger than all of my now divorced friends who were married for 25+ years. I am very physically fit. I have a beautiful home, and I travel to amazing places, and have abiding friendships. I have a career that pays me $200k/year and it’s not too stressful. I’m good. I have no regrets. It would take an exceptional man to capture my heart and attention. I have not met him yet.

[@LosAngelesLaura]

Everything about this is AMAZING but what blows my mind is that the friends are NOW divorced anyway! You are winning!!!!! ❤

[@piscespisces6]

@@LosAngelesLauraThis! I want my wedding gifts back 😂

[@LosAngelesLaura]

@@piscespisces6 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ladyliz9981]

Not escaped lmaooo

[@DivestedAlohaLife]

That’s amazing! Good for you!❤I’m wondering what do you do as a career?

[@nothingbutme1150]

Arguing 104 times per year in a relationship Arguing 0 times per year when you are single This should be on a billboard!

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Right 😂😂

[@saffy771]

I swear to God even being single, if you deal with some male acquaintances or "friends", they're already causing so many more arguments that THEY started by making dumbass remarks out of the blue because their ego feels offended again or whatever, so I call them out on it. It's so annoying. I never have these kinds of issues with my female friends

[@KarenTski]

If a woman avoids conflict to keep the peace, she starts a war inside herself

[@iamme7664]

And that’s when she starts resenting him.

[@Caseinpoint-f8z]

Some of them impregnate their wives and then cheat/leave them because they are pregnant. With their baby. Crazy stuff.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Omg yes ! He only puts childfree women on the pedestal! Then once he “devalues” you he leaves . It’s sick when guys think that way

[@risingphenoix9292]

This de-centering journey is no joke! I never realized how much I put men and marriage on a pedestal. Whew! The deprogramming and de-centering is real. Thanks for another great video!

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Same omg ! Once I started decentering men 90% of my insecurities went away 😂😂

[@Caseinpoint-f8z]

It’s usually only the woman doing backflips to protect the marriage’s image while the husband goes out of his way to embarrass her. Teyana Taylor and Wendy Williams are good recent examples.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

yup! usually the woman (simone biles) is smiling and trying to convince everyone theyre happy while the husband embarasses her publicly.

[@Caseinpoint-f8z]

@@ExoticalsUnited that’s a great example! Simone Biles is doing literal backflips 😆

[@niag7273]

@@ExoticalsUnitedhave you done a video on them yet??? If not can you?

[@shaynaboyd225]

My grandmother was a widow. She stayed single for nearly 20 years before she got a boyfriend and she didn't marry him either. Before him she enjoyed her life spending time going on trips with her grandkids and spending time doing what she wanted. She only started dating after the grandkids were older (high school or older). I asked her why she didn't want to marry her boyfriend and she said "He's nice to spend time with but there is no need to be married." I later learned that my grandfather put her through a lot during the marriage until he died. He was an alcoholic and died at 56. She got enjoy 30 years of peace after he died.

[@LosAngelesLaura]

Was a widow… waited 20 years before she got a boyfriend… didn’t marry him either…. 📝 SAVAGE!!!! 😂😂❤❤❤

[@shaynaboyd225]

@@LosAngelesLaura she dated that boyfriend until she died (10 years total). He was all heartbroken saying he’ll never find someone like her again. 6 months later he’s dating my aunt’s neighbor 😑. So glad grandma was savage and just had her fun instead of getting too serious lol

[@LosAngelesLaura]

@@shaynaboyd225 NOOOOOOO FRIEND NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! See, these dusties make me sick! They never, ever, ever, EVER seize to amaze me! Just when the last dude set the bar underground, the next one be like “Look! Let me show you what I can do! ⤵️⤵️⤵️⤵️⤵️⤵️ Thank you SO much for sharing this!!!! This is literally life changing information for me! You have NO idea!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@princesswells9469]

The fact that there’s a dad bod and not a mom bod even though the dad is not having the baby is….something!

[@RabiaSammy]

so glad a pretty girl is saying this, since theres a sterotype that those who decenter men are "unattractive" but more and more pretty girls arent falling for it

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Lmao, if anything it’s easier for pretty girls to decenter men since we know we will constantly have their gaze either way.

[@RabiaSammy]

@@ExoticalsUnited exactly

[@saffy771]

Ikr there's always this stereotype portrayed in movies of the poor, single lady in her 40s, who's always wearing super frumpy clothes, wears glasses, looks more average or below average, has 5 cats, is always stocked up on red wine, doesn't have any friends or her friends are just as "ugly" and "weird" as her and of course she doesn't shave. She doesn't want men, but men also don't want her. So tragic /s They always try to make her life seem as undesirable as possible, because apparently you're gonna end up frumpy and weird if you don't care that much about what men think of you or don't make men the center of your life. Or the other way round, they want to sell the narrative that the women who decenter men only do it out of bitterness because no men wanted them because they're not attractive. It's like a modern version of the way witches used to be portrayed in the medieval age.

[@novasummer888]

In most of the jobs that I have had in the last 10 years, I’ve been hit on by married men. Sometimes they do it openly in front of their wives. Married men unapologetically cheat. On top of that, relationships with men have been a source of stress in every case. When I’m single, I get more done and take better care of myself. When I’m in a relationship, the man expects me to drop my goals and individuality and center him like he is a god.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Yes Omg married men seem to think they can “get away with” more flirting since they feel like everyone knows they’re married. That’s exactly how affairs begin 😂 also why should I dedicate my life and loyalty to someone who won’t even do the same to me ? 😂

[@Sucre200]

I love how you pointed out that the married men are the ones on only fans and they are paying for women who are centering themselves!!!!! WOMEN NEVER STOP CENTERING YOURSELF, THATS HOW YOU WIN!!!! 😊

[@AFFTFOMSICHTS]

This reminds me of TT I saw once where a woman said if her husband goes to the strip club she wants a check made out to her for how much he spent on That woman!!! I will be damned if I’m the one emotionally supporting him and doing everything under the sun for him just for him to spend his extra money from discounted bills on another woman!

[@cosmicbrownie333]

I haven’t met one woman in life who has gotten divorced open to remarry again 😂 that speaks volumes. Most divorcees and widows I’ve met are relieved tbh

[@moeshasmiles]

Never remarrying. Childfree for life!!!

[@CultureCritic17]

This channel is growing by leaps and bounds, as it should be.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

yup! the exoticals are uniting!

[@tynaangelici3023]

My ex married me as a cover up because he was secretly gay. He treated me like trash the entire marriage didn’t want to financially support our daughter.

[@ann7504]

The way TQM explained it,in a world where you can have freedom, why would you voluntarily choose slavery?

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Yup!

[@diamondheart11]

Who is TQM?

[@ann7504]

@@diamondheart11 Princella the queen maker. Her channel is called the High Powered Podcast.

[@AFocusedLiving]

I will admit that the femininity videos did change my bad attitude and how I present myself. It got to a point where I felt like it was too overwhelming; some days it would work, but some days I was still disrespected by men. In contrast, your channel helped me level up and also focus on my insecurities, making me realize why I feel these emotions and how I can prevent those feelings.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Yay! 😀

[@hey-br6lo]

This has nothing to do with this video, but I just wanna say u are speaking facts about humbling tactics against beautiful women. I am a brown skinned 20 year old woman with a yellow undertone who is 5’9”. Let me tell you everyday is a struggle, people at uni are a pain in the arse and men won’t stop following me around stores, reminding me how unrealistic my dating standards are and of course constantly staring. Your videos have helped me understand myself and my feelings. Thank you soo much💕.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

yay! welcome to the pretty girl club!

[@bkluvvvvv]

You are legit saving lives out here! So grateful for your insights and perspectives ✨✨

[@ExoticalsUnited]

I appreciate that!

[@ashleanycole]

Yes the women that really take this in will live longer and happier .

[@lovenosa1105]

My dance friends who are wives were bonding over the strategies they take to speed up the morning bowel movement their husbands take so that they don’t go late to things. One of them makes sure to give him a cup of water when he wakes up to ‘speed things up’ 🤦‍♀️

[@suzannemcvicker617]

Omg hahaha. 💩💩💩💩

[@LosAngelesLaura]

This is wayyyyy too damn much 💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣

[@laylarahman11]

What a life they must be living. Managing someone's poop. Lol.

[@PersianDollTarot]

Getting married was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me and I don’t think any relationship is so easyWhen you’re close and you live together and you spend so much time together marriage is not hard to the point where it’s not worth it or the pros don’t outweigh the cons unless you’re married to a Loser the biggest key for you is that you need to find somebody who is good for you who adds to your life who brings out the best in you surround yourself with good people

[@adarateranroldan]

You and Mel hamlet are on 🔥 today

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Omg I love Mel hamlet 😀

[@LosAngelesLaura]

@@ExoticalsUnited SAME!

[@ezy78667]

Thank you for this channel. I just want to tell the American ladies that these issues are universal, African men are no different, so dont even think that you have a better chance with an African man. Love yourself, pursue whatever that is making you money, do what gives you freedom and if you want to date, then make sure you are dating to benefit!!

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Exactly! We have to stop revolving our lives around unicorn men ! I’m not saying they don’t exist, but I’m not going to spend my whole life waiting around for anyone . I’m going to enjoy my life !

[@Islandgirl7000]

Having been married ! I can confirm that marriage, is a SCAM for women lol 😂 I’ve spent most of my life centering men and I refuse to do it again. Wish I had this information as a young lady . Great content ✨

[@Yanna522]

I loved this video, I feel like we’ve pretty much lived the exact same life and getting divorced has made me realise the value that we have as women. Marriage is honestly one of the most dissatisfying and miserable experiences I have ever had. Most of the women I know get married and quickly become a shell of their former selves-they stop posting on social media and become deeply insecure. Being in a marriage becomes a game of pretending to be happy to others while battling with poor mental health in private.

[@Philosophicalpaperti]

A friend of mine is in like $100,000 debt because her ex went into massive debt to send money home to his mom. Many divorced moms say that they have *more* money because these men were spending so much on themselves. If money is what you’re after, you’re *less* likely to get it with a man.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

This !

[@sarahlpw]

I love your perspective, thanks for the consistent uploads!

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Glad you like them!

[@domtheedonn__]

This channel is gold!!! Everything I was thinking when I was a teenager. So many people made it seem like I had to “prove” that wrong and just find “the right guy” ….id rather focus that time and energy into myself! Not a man child and his children. I truly feel sorry for women who are unable to decenter men. It’s like an impulse/desperation especially black women

[@Vanitydreams]

Ladies spread this message!!! ❤❤❤

[@harmonywhite9320]

100%! So.much.hell. Not worth it. Appreciate the insights. So many factors you talk about here that many just haven't thought of, may minimize or dismiss, but so vital. Life is too short. Glad this channel is growing!

[@LosAngelesLaura]

ABSOLUTELY!

[@MW-rn1vg]

Can you do a video about why men get obsessed with their exes and can't seem to let go?

[@amydecker6207]

Because they are neverendingly bitter over a woman not putting him first.

[@AdayBB231]

Tyrone in jail again 😂😂😂

[@Yjr8]

Proud non exotical, though I typically get confused for a RA woman, however your content focusing on decentering men caught my attention as of yesterday and now I’m a new subscriber. I’m under 30 in a marriage and this information is perfect for how I pursue the rest of years. Please do a video on the benefits of decentering your marraige as it relates super young wives (20-27)

[@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist]

35:05 Yeah, because men are emotional vampires.

[@divinealchemy3078]

What a brilliant observation: marriage to a man is proximity to 'celebritiy status' like beauty is to a young woman!!

[@joycejoy4119]

You don’t have to change your surname. Most cultures don’t have this tradition of taking husbands last name. It’s mostly European tradition. And if that family name doesn’t have any pull prestige/ don’t do it…😅 what for… for a tradition?

[@makdayohannes]

I know this is an old comment, but i just want to say you’re right. In my culture the wife don’t take the man’s last name. I can’t imagine taking a man’s name even if i chose to get married

[@Oisemuzeime]

From your voice I can get you are so beautiful and intelligent ❤❤❤

[@zineb3351]

Preach sister ❤ 🎉

[@briamonyae1396]

Girl 😂😂 all facts

[@beewilson023]

I just went to your channel and...you are super beautiful! Good luck on your level up journey, you just inspired me to make sure I workout before I go to bed tonight❤

[@briamonyae1396]

Aweeee thank you my love 😍 ! It’s our season mamas 😘😘😘😘

[@sushisue42]

Get the most beautiful dress throw an incredible party - invite people who will understand and celebrate you and marry yourself or call it whatever you wish! 😊

[@LosAngelesLaura]

Hey Exotical and Pretty Girl Club!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋YAY NEW VIDEO!

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Yay! Pretty girl club 😍

[@Sucre200]

Thanks!

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Omg thank you so much!

[@Oluwafreya]

U said everything i used to think. I love my single/childfree life. Nowbi only want to get married for money, i hate working for other people and even creating my own company. Also for protection and for s*x. I dont want to share my p to diffrent guys. Yes married man cheat as well which can have impact on your ph. I want married for the money, now i see it as a easy way. I still want to have my own money (when married i can work less cause bills is shared) I choose a man who will provide all the thing i desire and who i love. Yes i will marry for money, but i refuse to be with someone i dont like/love.

[@bornaries7213]

Oh wow...🙄

[@RabiaSammy]

literally how are you supposed to enjoy your pretty privilege if you're married, especially if ur husband doesnt appreciate you and is gonna be looking at other pretty women flirt give them attention and watch shxt on the internet? you have to give up the privileges of being single for half of his attention

[@eeeenergy-zu2dw]

When I was born, my mother had to go through damn near 6 years of trying to get her divorce finalized when she went to divorce my dad for drinking and I don’t think she got even 1000 $ court shit with men is extremely risky

[@Vanitydreams]

Not the leather couch with the cup holder 🤣😭😭

[@inthegardenofmymind]

Thousands thank you for your work 🙏❤️ Continue! We need more women like you !

[@Iam_Celene]

Most men cannot even afford to buy a spirit airlines ticket lol 😆

[@ExoticalsUnited]

😂😂

[@faithyayi]

thank you💁‍♀️

[@Iam_Celene]

Omg I died at the “he’s over here looking like Homer Simpson” comment 😂😂😂

[@momentinhistory333]

Excellent, excellent video!!!! Stay pretty ladies!! 🥰

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Stay pretty 😍

[@bymmim]

Yessssssss! Thank You ❤

[@Catherine26791]

Excellent video. I SO NEEDED THIS. Thank you!

[@Iam_Celene]

I’m not submitting to a five foot nine guy 😂😂😂

[@ExoticalsUnited]

😂😂😂

[@yasminogbu8929]

This is one of the best talks on KZbin! Just such insight ❤️ thank you for all these videos

[@tynaangelici3023]

Great video!!❤

[@chanellover2143]

Loving this content! Never stop , you are appreciated 🌸

[@HeyyyMrsStamper]

I look at marriage like food stamps, you can’t make a certain amount of money or you don’t qualify. 😂

[@ExoticalsUnited]

😂😂😂😂😂💅🏼

[@annreese7937]

The only thing I can say from experience of a 25 year marriage is that the marriage journey can and will up level you if you’re willing to do your own inner work which, in essence, will naturally decenter the marriage because you’ve learned to love yourself regardless of what the other is doing or not doing. At that point, an inner alchemical process can happen outwardly whereby he will either step up or step out however that may occur based on your own higher way of being. Regardless of what happens at that point doesn’t matter anymore because you realize you are fine and whole with or without him. Marriage is not the ‘soft life” toward this inner process it is the “boot camp” way which I only learned as I went through it. Good luck to those who embark on this journey….ultimately it leads you to you❤️

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Omg yes that’s a better way to look at it ! It’s like more of an emotional boot camp

[@annreese7937]

@@ExoticalsUnited it refines you into a diamond if you let it ….i have a feeling you know exactly what that means 😇👍

[@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist]

29:50 Exactly.

[@cynthiapickett7403]

FACTS🎯🎯🎯🙏🙏🙏🎤🎤🎤💯💯💯

[@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist]

31:05 Yep.

[@Iam_Celene]

I have nvld I had to be on an iep and so I have a hard time with just managing myself so managing a guy seems like a nightmare

[@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist]

45:05 Yeah seriously...why the fk do they always wake up so GRUMPY?!

[@BrookeChrisman-w8b]

Facts😂

[@sweet_toothtarot]

i am or was a onlyfans Girl and i centered myself a lot in my relationship but i tried to no be more like him , i think marriage is not Good , i what to just have men to see me pretty validate me and Give me money for it. i feel way happier and less stress tbh.

[@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist]

1:11:30 Yep.

[@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist]

18:30 No surprise!

[@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist]

27:15 Bingo.

[@BlossomingWoman]

Great video. As far as what you said about porn, Me personally i don"t mind if my husband watches porn. Is that a bad thing?

[@bymmim]

Yikes

[@ClearAbyss]

As long as theyre ok with you watching stuff you like, which they never are.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Depends on if you’re watching it as well, there’s no wrong answer. I personally don’t want a guy to use me to meet his emotional and domestic needs while using other women to meet his sexual needs. he can find another woman who doesn’t mind doing dishes while he’s jagging off to women in the other room.

[@BlossomingWoman]

@@ExoticalsUnited In my free time I watch porn too though that's the thing 😂

[@BlossomingWoman]

@@ClearAbyss My ex was actually fine with it. We watched it together sometimes

[@SweetCandy-x4j]

"I would rather die alone than to die inside."

[@inagio7617]

I cant believe that we needed videos like that to finally wake up. Thats so crazy to me. You say so many Things i never thought about. Jesus.

[@lunarsagittariusgoddess465]

Although I am not a part of the group of women you speak to. Everything you say speaks volumes. Women older than me consistently encourage me to marry. I prefer a boyfriend 😂. They don't tell the truth about marriage. I am doing everything I love and more. ❤.