Decentering Men -Stop Giving free Energy and Attention !

[@CultureCritic17]

Men do as little as humanly possible to get whatever it is that they want. It's time to match that energy.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

yup!

[@ak-47intelligence75]

This !

[@AmandaMerkel]

They're even starting to use AI to write love letters or tinder bios for them now. Can't even do that. Now they're even passing on wooing us to another source. Reminds me of some spiders who will wrap trash up in a web then mate and run away real fast before she finds out it's garbage. That's the best we get. Trash disguised as effort.

[@BestversionofKP]

Yes!!!👏

[@perhapsshellliveafterall]

Minimum effort maximum gain is their slogan 😂

[@LittleMsLibra8]

I don’t care what a woman’s age or marital status is.. Decentering men is essential to our well-being.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Exactly

[@divinealchemy3078]

"The more male-centered you are, the more of life you miss out on" - Such a powerful and true statement!

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Yes! It took me all the way until 30 years old to realize this 😂 I was over here not even going on a walk in the park unless someone wanted to go with me 😂

[@VirgosGroove3]

I’ve been single for 8 years and I’ve only started chasing my dreams these last two, smh I feel fulfilled. I wasted years trying to manifest and attract my husband 😵‍💫😵‍💫

[@MsLexKnows]

For any ladies scared to solo travel, there are TONS of groups you can join! Please don’t let it scare you off! 😎 Solo travel has become my happy place. I once traveled with a guy I was dating and he tried to ruin the trip (never again) and my friends have kids and husbands they need approval from. So I learned to venture out and I’m so glad I did! I’ve also noticed when you solo travel you get offered upgrades more frequently than when you’re with someone else! I’ve gotten free add ons to spa treatments, free desserts, an extra hour in an airport lounge!!! The only add ons I get with a guy is a guaranteed headache and probably a mess to clean when he spills something.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Hahahaha so true! I found a Facebook group for women in my area who want to solo travel together ! You can go and meet up with the group as often or as little as you’d like to on the trip.

[@MiamiPush2theLimit]

Yep. And coerced sex where you don’t orgasm 😩

[@cristalreynoso8883]

This reminds me of a time I went to the club with 4 friends, we were smoking hookah for free and being offered free shots but as soon as a man came(he was interested in one of my friends) bye free hookah and shots😂 he was there and at the end we still had to split the bill…

[@nenavice9903]

it's been 6 hours. i'm addicted to these videos 😩🤯

[@ExoticalsUnited]

yay! I have more coming soon!

[@vwd3437]

The de-centering men series has been very empowering for me! A simple “WYD?” and “What’s your name and number?” has the potential to turn into so much dustiness and waste of time! I found it especially empowering when you shared Cassie’s situation ahead of HT Awareness Month, because I experienced a lot of what she went through as an exotical!

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Wow thank you so much! And yes, I’m so glad we are talking about this !

[@vwd3437]

I have noticed that in a lot of monoracial-themed show biz documentaries, there are a lot of exotical entertainers who were taken advantage of in some way. Seen as an “exhibit” for the exotic features, then forced to put on a “show” - with little or no pay and often under the force of multiple threats. I have a feeling this will be the year MORE exotical entertainers will come forward and seek justice against all men and women who sought after them for personal, professional and monetary gain. “Pimping” basically! For example, Tina Turner has even admitted that Ike Turner was a pimp! Before HT became a big discussion, she was already talking about it! I hate the Ike Turner memes about Tina Turner getting abused by Ike! If Tina Turner wasn’t an exotical, would it STILL be funny? 🤔

[@ExoticalsUnited]

exactly! im glad we are finally having these discussions!

[@cjk7063]

My fav series, very empowering.

[@azucenabustos1078]

You are doing God's work!! I have been to every " feminine " channel , read all the dating books, even Christian dating channel an gold digging... But none have given me my mental health or self esteem like you have!!!

[@IndigenousExotical]

I love this series!!!! I stopped dating altogether because of a horrible experience with a “high value” man (on paper). As self-punishment, i said i was done dating, done trying to look my absolute best to attract someone, and I decided to do stop externalizing fun. I didn’t date/was celibate for about a year. I bought myself flowers, i went out to events esp women centered events solo and made a day trip of those things etc. Being at my happiest and not caring about the dating potential around me, i attracted wonderful friends and men that were on my wavelength. I decided to date someone after that time and we are still together two years later. He takes me to the airport for my solo trips and that was something I needed a partner do for me - LAX is suck a headache! Lol

[@ExoticalsUnited]

“Stop externalizing fun”- OMG GIRL, that’s a whole video in itself !

[@EconomicWarfare]

I spoil tf out of myself. I've never understood the hype of being in relationships with males. It's cringey when women brag on their man/husband. They must not truly know them. 🤣😂

[@adarateranroldan]

Love buying myself flowers

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Same .flowers are like $5 at Trader Joe’s. Do I really put guys on a pedestal that much to the point where all a guy has to do is buy $5 flowers from the grocery store for me to feel special? a lot of women don’t realize the subconscious messages they are sending themselves. why am I only worth flowers when a man buys them? lol

[@PrincessPowerranger]

I should start doing that ❤❤❤❤❤

[@night2102]

And I wanted to say another thing. I really love this series. One time I just randomly went to Hawaii for a week. I just took myself to Hawaii. That was like one of my most favorite trips. Ladies I encourage you to take yourself on a trip.

[@MW-rn1vg]

I did the same thing! I loved it 🌴

[@briolivia]

I love solo activities but a few years ago I made a conscious effort to date myself. It's so easy to stay entertained. Every year I make a list of events, daytrips with easy flights or plan a staycation, activities and restaurants i want to try & just check them off. This actually helps a lot with advising my clients about things to do in certain neighborhoods. This year I want to take some bachata classes and try trapeze. I'm afraid of heights so wish me luck! lol

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Omg I need to make a video about this, once I started decentering men and doing things by myself like going to hiking groups, I met multiple other girls my age who were doing the same thing! I even made a list of smoothie shops I wanted to try. Last weekend I went to a mountain hiking group and met a girl who ALSO made a list of smoothie shops she wants to try! She texted me her smoothie bucket list and we are going to go together next time! Lol

[@briolivia]

@ExoticalsUnited lolll! Smoothies are so specific, but I like that idea. I'm going to try with something random but easy to find in Texas 🤔

[@HeyItsQuayshawn]

​@@ExoticalsUnited lol thats so cute. If ppl can be wine or beer connoisseurs & go on wine & beer tours, why not do it w smoothies? I love it

[@nic2859]

Yes, The flower example is so good! It can be used in every situation thinkable. But decentering men can be jarring at first because it’s an identity switch 😅 A great buffer from “I want a man to buy me flowers” to “I will buy my own flowers” is simply acknowledging “I REALLY like flowers and how flowers make me feel”. Sitting in that realization is like a form of acknowledging yourself that helps you get so creative.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Exactly. It’s easier to change MYSELF than to try to change a man into what I want him to be, or spending my life chasing a unicorn man

[@nic2859]

@@ExoticalsUnitedI totally agree. It’s best to welcome people into a full life than a life full of voids. Thrive vs survive

[@morganalefay5454]

When he buys u flowers...he Just cheated

[@ExoticalsUnited]

😂😂😂😂

[@Yasminescookingshow]

😂😂😂😂

[@ravenwatson2826]

I definitely am going back to doing fun solo activities. Especially going to the movies, museum, library, mall, traveling, etc. I feel much more at peace that way and it’s therapeutic to me!!! I’ve done those before and I can do those again!!!

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Smart girl! ❤️

[@Golden.Delight]

I love buyin myself flowers, lil gifts and trinkets.😋🥰

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Yes! Once this channel hits 11k I’m going to get myself a smoothie bowl to celebrate .

[@emmadezwaan]

I've been deventering men for 10 years, it's great but men hate it. They won't go easy on you.

[@kichiko8288]

I needed to hear this! Unfortunately I was one of those women on Reddit complaining that I can’t find a relationship 😭 but I’ve changed now! I want to feel like I have some sort of control on my life and not waiting for a savior. ❤

[@ExoticalsUnited]

You got this!

[@TwiztidPixiel]

Thats why i had to stop watching hypergamous content. I think its dangerous to depend on men financially. Plus, the people who make that content aren't living the lifestyle they promote.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Yes ! also, since when is the average man trustworthy, generous and loyal? Just because a guy has money doesn’t mean he’s going to suddenly give it to you 😂

[@lockhartrise9638]

And the content creators are still getting paid by the hopeful women who watch in wait for their moment one day

[@BestversionofKP]

@@ExoticalsUnitedexactly 👏👏👏

[@sweetcheeks5775]

you don’t have to depend on them to be hypergamous. just add their money to yours. only makes sense

[@nizdiv]

Yes oh my gosh, I have always brought myself flowers, I've been doing it since my early 20s. Also, scented candles, etc. keep up the good work on your channel. ❤

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Love that!

[@Islandgirl7000]

“His dustiness was dragging us down”🤣 This ticked me because I’ve been in such relationships 😂

[@nothingbutme1150]

I buy myself roses every other week it’s a norm and if a man can’t do the bare minimum absolutely not

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Yes! I love buying myself flowers to mark new seasons (Christmas themed plants in December, bright bouquets in the spring, sunflowers in the summer, etc.)

[@BestversionofKP]

Yes!!! I’m gonna start doing this now 😊🩷

[@Leslie-x9x]

I can buy myself floweeeerrs🎵🎶

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Omg I love that song 😂

[@Leslie-x9x]

​@@ExoticalsUnitedme too😅

[@gwenjohn8673]

As a woman who raised three sons who are now self sufficient, I approve this message.

[@nothingbutme1150]

I’ve been solo travelling since 2015 and i used to be looked at weird or something is wrong with me especially being an attractive woman travelling alone . It’s ironic because from what I’ve seen and talk to the hotel staff these so call Bae vacations end up being nightmares. One staff member who is one of my good friend to this day told me he fully saw this couple had an argument on the resort when the boyfriend punched his gf dead in the face. And the police did nothing, plus they are stuck together for 7 days. Nah I rather be called a weirdo than go through that trauma just to flex pics on the gram.

[@rosellegurl7445]

Try going on vacation with a boyfriend who is on "Monk Mode" and Red Pill smh. That was me in 2019 my first and last trip with a male spouse. Best vacations I've had has been with family or solo financed by me.

[@night2102]

Great video. Love it. This is some great information ladies need or at least to be reminded of. The other day I ran into one of those male podcasts. And I don’t remember his name, nor does it matter. So basically the advice that he gave to men was act nonchalant, focus on yourself, get your money up, when women want to sleep with you act disinterested, and don’t be fully too engaged with a woman meaning as far as any conversation or feeling. I thought that was like really interesting. Like there’s an epidemic of men out here we’re lonely, and who do certain things because of their loneliness. And then you got these so-called male relationship gurus out here, encouraging more men to be even more lonely. And be disconnected from women. and you would think a lot of these men have more self-awareness and be like is this who I really wanna follow. but they follow these types of guys because it feeds their egos but their emotional needs are completely empty. And then they go around spreading that emptiness to other people trying to fill their cup from other people.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Exactly !

[@nissa4644]

Thats leveling up

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Exactly ! This is the ultimate level up!

[@Tata-nsg]

You’re the big sister I needed growing up😭♥️

[@clauaome25]

this one guy I met on a dating app he wanted to add me as a Facebook friend and I said I thought it was too soon, he got completely offended and ghosted me, then I understood that it really wasn't my fault, now I just tell men that I really don't have guy friends... if they are serious they can take me out and we can go out on dates if they want to get to me better, also if he fucks up, there is no possibility for him to be my friend, or that we stays as a friend, so he has to behave well from the get go or nothing

[@ExoticalsUnited]

exactly. im no longer meeting the emotional needs of random guys who want to be "friends" with as many attractive women as possible. he basically wants free validation and attention on demand without ever having to take a woman out on a date or invest anything. he wants positive attention from a woman while offering nothing in return. if i need emotional support, thats what a therapist is for, friends and family etc. most men have spent their lives terrorizing women or treating them badly then they get mad when theyre older and they have no one. so they want to try to latch on to whatever breadcrumbs of attention they can get from pretty women while investing nothing in return. im not going to be in a mans text message orbit so i can "keep his phone popping". i'm good.

[@shani.ninety]

⁠@@ExoticalsUnited wow that part they spend their lives terrorising women then get mad when they have no one. So true. Crying about loneliness when they’ve probably disposed of many women because’they weren’t ready to settle down’ I can’t with them.

[@shani.ninety]

I say this too I’m Not interested in male friendship at all it’s funny how they say stay away from women with male friends yet always seem desperate for our friendship lol

[@clauaome25]

@@shani.ninety 🤣🤣🤣

[@Sunshine-zk1st]

He invited me to a cafe, bought me flowers and never spoke to me again. ❤

[@VirgosGroove3]

He ghosted?

[@BestversionofKP]

Something similar happened to me too 😂 I just left him on read

[@Iam_Celene]

I love taking myself to eat at a nice sit down restaurant,

[@BestversionofKP]

Yes!!!

[@diamondjack-cooper5322]

Wow I've done this my whole life and it's just usually unfruitful and unfortunate to to keep participating in this painful dynamic. No more freebies! AMEN!

[@annstewart8506]

No apologies for being single minded like males. Enjoy dining at fine restaurants, taking holidays and buying myself jewellery. Validating myself is important to me.

[@laylarahman11]

I've learnt so much from this channel.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Glad to hear it!

[@SarahGraceL]

You say some of the funniest things. I am laughing at your wit and humor.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

😂😂😂

[@katice3]

Gosh i will never understand why some women are calling motherhood the soft life 😐 ok maybe ur husband isnt screaming but the kids will 🤣🤣 also i dont consider changing diapers and wiping butts soft life 😵‍💫

[@BestversionofKP]

Fr

[@Pneumarose]

This is really well said.

[@itsspringtime]

I recently started buying myself flowers and it really does make me feel special. I love the brightness it brings to my home. They make me smile when I walk into the room. I spent YEARS begging a partner to buy them for me and then I finally did it for myself. I did have to grieve the loss of the fantasy of romance though. So grief is really an jmportant part of decentering. Maybe you could speak on that?

[@diamondjack-cooper5322]

AMEN!

[@zvezdatabg]

17:21 Yes, it was exactly the same for me too!!!! No exceptions. They all made a confession or made a sexual offer. No male friends tyvm, that's no friendship at all!!!

[@Iam_Celene]

I’ve decentered men to the point where I am fine with or without a relationship

[@BestversionofKP]

Same!

[@123clash5]

I love this video! BUT I will say in my experience and my experience only…. Trying to buy myself things, to date myself, to enjoy myself has only led me to feel even **more** lonely 😞. Idk what’s up with that. I definitely fake it but it’s hard seeing a pretty couple in the elevators at the hotel I’m staying at or the group of friends getting all the attention at the modeling casting call. It’s also led to a bit of a shopping addiction for me too that I’m trying to scale back. Would any of you know why that is? ETA: I definitely agree with the premise of this video though! Just that it is backfiring a bit for me.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

What I’m saying in this video is only the tip of the iceberg. As for your comment, I address this in the patreon 😉 (we have a discord connected to it with an entire dating discussion in there)

[@likemycommentifyouwantareply]

I would say try to develop close female friendships. I think women thrive with a community of like minded women who value female friendships over their relationships with males. Women like this are hard to find, but they are out there. Good luck ❤

[@cynthiapickett7403]

Life's lessons.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Yup!

[@Yasminescookingshow]

Your series is liberating! Thanks sister ❤❤❤😉🇭🇹

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Thanks for watching beautiful! 💕

[@JuliaJoyTheHealstorian]

True wisdom ❤❤❤

[@leilabsmt3029]

Love it 👍❤️

[@Boerenfox73]

Going to save this video, thank u

[@briamonyae1396]

💯💯💯💯

[@vonnafuentes]

when i started my self love journey, i definitely implemented buying myself flowers and yes it definitely makes me feel very special and pretty and just overall happy. i want to start taking myself on solo outings, i like that idea so i might do those once a month. also, biweekly to monthly maintenance (hair, nails, brows, etc) also helps me feel good. as a side note: decentering men has really opened up a self dialog as to where i was wasting a lot of energy honestly and i appreciate this series as it correlates with the era im entering in as a woman. much love!

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Yes, I made a new rule for myself. For every 1000 subs I gain , I’m going to take myself out to get a smoothie bowl (getting smoothie bowls is something I used to fantasize about a guy doing with me 😂 I’ve yet to come across a guy who likes purchasing $15 smoothie bowls in his spare time…) so I decided I’m going to just do that for myself because IM special and my passions/interests are worth celebrating.

[@carmesebranch725]

Why delete the truth. I'm no pick me. But I do realize there are people male and female who exist on the healthy spectrum. For you it's 🌺🌹....grand for me it's candles.....yassssss. I look after my health, mental health and found a travel group. I also cracked the code to loneliness and it's just what you said. You cannot wait to live

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Exactly !