Depression - The Black Hole Inside Me (The Negatives Of Antidepressants)

[@mishaireland2944]

I can really relate to how you feel. I have struggled with depression and asd and medication can only help to a certain degree. Sometimes all you need is take one hour at a time. I find your videos a great help. If you need to talk, please let me know. You are stronger than you know and you will get through this!!! I really understand how you feel because I live like that as well. I'm here if you need to talk!

[@ThomasHenley]

Hi Michelle! It’s really nice to receive this comment, it’s very endearing to know I have people like you supporting me. I will be fine and I have been through a lot worse states in my life, I’ve sorted everything else out in my life and now the medication is the last step. Hope all is well with you, and if you need to chat as well you can always reach out to me too 🤗

[@mishaireland2944]

@@ThomasHenley Hey Thomas just wondering if you go to any of the asd conferences. There's one coming up in Cork, Ireland in March. I shared a link with you on Facebook.

[@ThomasHenley]

Brilliant that sounds awesome! I’ll check out the link you sent to me 😊

[@charimonfanboy]

I do appreciate your videos, especially these kinds of videos. Not that I am saying that I enjoy seeing you this low, but it is nice to know that you can get as bad as I usually am, but can also have the good days we see you at in most of your videos. Which probably sounds horrible, but I hope you know what I mean.

[@ThomasHenley]

I’m really glad you get something from them. In general I’m mostly at a really low point, it just so happens that shooting videos lifts up my mood a lot... it lets me vent my feelings and thoughts. My mood hasn’t been too bad on the sertraline, but I am bracing myself for the severe state that is my non-medicated brain... or my brain on only one antidepressant. I hope you are doing good buddy, it’s lovely to hear from you and thanks for your comment, they make my day! 😊

[@DavidLee-yu7yz]

Hi Tom, I am pleased you are moving on and keeping a busy routine in your work/ career as it odes help to have a routine, I had the family business when I was your age to late twenties to do this. You have a good GP if they are prepared to to work getting the right combination re. the meds that work best for you. The side effects are the kicker alright and weaning off one medication, to go on another is always a difficult transition but it is worth it go get the ones that suit. As you know I have where you are right now and at your age and older, it is not nice I feel for you mate (if I can call you that), and you could not describe it better from my own experiences with living with depression. It is also hard to work out the division from the depression to the aspergers as one is is the cause and the other is the effect if that makes sense. Thankyou for doing the video for us as I know it is painful to do when in the place you are at. I have found when things are looking good and running smoother, it does bring on the flip side towards the end when the 'black hole' looms into view , then you find yourself in it. I have got used to being aware that this happens and try to prepare myself for it. Which does come with age but still will catch you of guard, but you can only do what you can and not beat yourself up for it. Easier said than done, I know. Sounds like from getting to know you from your youtube channel your life will mirror mine I know you struggle as I can see it, but the bout will pass in it's own time, but the 'black hole will always be there to catch you out through your life, and accepting this does help as you get older, I will be honest it is a miracle that I am still here at the age of 56, so you can take some comfort that if you roll with it you will be too. Not a cheery message but deal with the reality is better than avoidance. Just message me from your facebook page if i can be of any help Tom, even just to a benign little chat. Dave

[@ThomasHenley]

Hi David, it’s really awesome to hear from you. I think the only difference compared to usual periods of depression is that I’m voluntarily putting myself in it. I need to sort out my medication but there isn’t much else I can do about that in the meantime... other than power through it. I’m down to 50 mg now and I’m feeling more dissociated than ever, I have thoughts of self harm running through my mind constantly, but my life’s motivation and my desire to help others will always keep me going... no matter how bad it gets. I will definetly send you a message soon, and thank you for supporting me so much 😊

[@trastornoautista2593]

Uff I think most people on the spectrum deal with depression. I have never taken antidepressants, What has worked for me is cognitive behavioral therapy. Also some books especially those of Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius, Albert Ellis, and especially those of Tony Robbins and NLP such as those of Richard Bandler etc... If it's any consolation you're not the only one who fights every day, we are warriors and we have to be proud of our struggle, that only those of us on the spectrum and with anxiety and depression know what is it. Thank you for opening your heart, you will see that we will all move forward together for better. I send you a hug. (I'm not native in English sorry for the strangeness of the message)

[@ThomasHenley]

Yes you are right my friends, Autism and depression tends to go hand in hand in a lot of cases. I’ve had therapy for around 6 years and to be honest all the research, books and CBT only takes me so far... there really is just a problem with my brain and over the years I have accepted that to be case. Medication helps and is honestly the last important aspect in my life I have to sort out. Everything else is positive in all aspects in my life and I’m continually learning all I can, and hopefully the right medication is the final piece to the puzzle. Thanks for your comment my friend, I know I’m not alone and I’m grateful for you reaching out to me as well 😊

[@norahhopkins5462]

Praying for you. God bless and so good of you to try to help others when you are feeling so bad yourself

[@RGT82-b4n]

Hi, thanks for being so honest. I really enjoy your videos and relate to what you're going through. My Dad died last year and I'm on citalopram and it's really helped me, I felt quite nauseous for a couple of weeks but now feeling much less anxious and no low mood now. Really hope it helps you. Do you see anyone for therapy too?

[@ThomasHenley]

Hey man! Of course, I try to be painfully honest about my life and the feelings I deal with on a daily basis... and honestly I’ve never received anything negative in response to my openness. That’s really horrible, I feel for you a lot. It must be really hard on you and I can only imagine how that would impact you. I’m glad that citalopram has helped you, I really am! I went through about 6 years of therapy in teenage to university years and it hasn’t really helped me at all. I’ve done a lot to sort myself out though and deal with the emotions I have inside... sadly it’s just the little chemicals in my brain that aren’t working as they should, but I’m hoping this new medication may be the solution for me. I will keep pushing through as I always have, and I appreciate comments like this more than you know. I’m motivated to push forward and work just as hard as I do with the medication... if not more! Thanks for this 😊

[@FindingYourSerenity]

I haven't watched the whole video yet but your videos have helped me so much and autism is now one of my very very special interests. I'm from the UK too and have a really long wait to get assessed but I am sure I am autistic. So I decided to become a Patreon to give something back. I know how hard it is working full time and then in your free time you just feel too tired to really do anything and I know how hard it can be at times to put together a KZbin video. Plus I know how hard working can be with all the extra challenges that come from being autistic. I've also been listening to your podcast on and off in the car and I am really getting a lot from it.

[@ThomasHenley]

Awh I’m so glad they have helped you! It fills me with joy when people like yourself reach out and tell me about the positive changes in their life.. it really does. Wow that’s awesome! Thank you so much for becoming a patreon! I haven’t checked it recently as I haven’t had any supporters for awhile, but I promise you I’ll be right on it later this day and make sure you receive all the things I promised 😊😊

[@FindingYourSerenity]

I take atomoxetine for my ADHD and I had to switch from taking it in the morning to the night and that day was hell, even into the night. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's often the nicest people who go through mental health problems. Thanks for being vulnerable. The meds I am on are my saviours. By helping my ADHD symptoms my anxiety and depression improved. They were created as anti depressants initially so also help with these. I am probably going to be upping my dosage soon to help me even more. I know I'm super lucky but I wish it was this easy for other people too because for years and years I suffered every single day with anxiety and this often lead to depression. The emptiness you feel - I had that too. I thought I would never be happy and actually made a video on this at one point but have privated it now and not long after that I found out I had ADHD. Since finding out I probably have autism I have been feeling quite down rather than the relief most people say they felt. Sorry to ramble on. I really do hope that it gets easier for you. You don't deserve to go through this.

[@ThomasHenley]

Hey there, thanks so much for reaching out and sharing your struggles with me as well.. I really appreciate it! I’m glad that medication is helping you and wish you all the best with upping your dose. We are both trying to find the right balance and I’d love to hear from you soon about how it’s going 😊 Don’t worry about rambling on... I rambled for about 24 minutes so it’s only fair 😂 I’d love to hear about your experiences with ADHD and medication, would you ever consider coming on my podcast to talk about them? 🤗

[@turtleanton6539]

I think just handling depression is easier then dealing with the side effects of meds

[@sheryl3274]

I cant do much here, but I figured out that I should just be a pateron as a start :D First Elite Subscriber Squad? Generally, that's how I felt for most of the time too. The bright and normal side of me that I'm seen to be among my friends is radically different from how I felt deep inside.. Its just hard to stop thinking too critically of things to the point of overwhelming. However that did helped me a lot in my career in terms logic and small details, and I just refuse to be on antidepressant as I'm afraid that it might change what's already working for me. I come to think of that being a biological signal to do something, or to adapt to the environment. If it was truly a negative thing, where does that stand in evolutionary terms that the gene is still sticking around today? I'm thinking that it is similar to how dopamine works. A 'brain reward' give us a drive to explore and learn new things, and yet that very same dopamine doesnt work similarly after we get what we want. (we get bored of old stuff over time) Think of trying to suppress something, and it sure gives a brief period of artificial stability but when things do fall out they get really bad. One example being the forest fire in Australia. Small fires that would otherwise be harmless as it clears out the flammable material in the local area have always been met with humans trying to fight it. Had we not try to suppress that, a large fire would have never happened in the first place. (maybe I typed a little too much here hehe... not something a neurotypical would do. It is something that I'm aware of, and what I always try to avoid when communicating to people, as I knew they wont be interested ) I'm on the side that only people who are suicidal should be on antidepressant. Hope things do get better on your side anyway! As always, great content! Thanks.

[@ThomasHenley]

Oh my, honestly that’s amazing to hear! I haven’t had much going on on my patreon but I’ll definitely have to check it out later after work!! That’s so so kind of you, I will make sure I do you proud and of course fulfill the promises I made on there 😊😊 Thank you for sharing that with me as well, although I always read long comments with scary levels of concentration and intrigue... so thank you for opening up to me as well, it means a lot ♥️

[@justinanderson7035]

Drink the herb sage it will help u with your depression