Derrick Jaxn Interview - Explaining Himself | Part 2 | Dear Future Wifey Podcast S7, Ep707

[@CharisMaggieTV]

Lots of lessons taken from both her interview and his. 1. Therapy is essential 2. Learn to communicate your issues with your partner instead of being passive aggressive 3. Sometimes, involving too many ppl in your relationship only adds more issues to the ones that were already present 4. Cheating is never right, no matter the circumstances for why it happened

[@donnelljunior4198]

Therapy is not essential.

[@czb7395]

Nailed it!

[@dearfuturehubbypodcast]

Agreed💕

[@sidology1.0]

​@donnelljunior4198 people in therapy love to use it as some sort of pedestal, the people I've seen that go. It seems unappealing to me now

[@VellaBella4]

Agreed! And knowing your boundaries and sticking to them. Ppl need to learn when to walk away from a toxic situation.

[@chukilewis1696]

I think what men don’t understand is that for a woman to have a desire for sex with her man she has to feel emotionally safe and happy.

[@nnena3631]

🎯 Serial cheating and affection and intimacy from a happy, sweet wife don't mix. He knows this he just chose to behave selfishly

[@lindaj2960]

So true. He tries to deflect by saying I was doing everything right on that day, but just a few weeks ago he was cheating. Also, there are diseases especially in Atlanta. She was probably afraid of disease and she was pregnant at times too. Of course she was protecting herself mentally and physically after all of the infidelity.

[@brittneymarshall8951]

Yea I still don’t like him. Because one you seen how you initially cheating ruined her and did again and again

[@alanasgotquestions]

👏🏽👏🏽

[@RemIsNice]

Do women feel safe when they have sex with men they don't know?

[@Rossi.K]

The fact that he cheated on her.. Then his response to her being emotionally checked out after years of cheating was to pout and “you’re not acting how i want you to so i’m going to cheat again”. Like dude, you have a problem. any little cold shoulder this woman gave you, you used it as a reason to cheat because you have an addiction and a problem. He can come up with every excuse in the book. smh

[@kimberlydavis739]

He full of it….

[@pander8382]

Fully agree,,I just don't see how other commenting & prasing him don't see rite tru his bs

[@butterflylily7207]

💯 exactly my thoughts... He makes excuses never admits to his wrong. Blames her trauma and her mother.. Her mother was her support and he didn't like that he wanted control. His narcissistic. Never watched his channel and I never would ...smh...

[@TheSimplylanae7]

My exact thoughts! She lost connection, trust and didn’t feel protected after all he’s done. I also feel like he wasnt genuine with going to church and following her to church.

[@butterflylily7207]

@@TheSimplylanae7 good point about the church..

[@cherylriley8]

After listening to both sides, singleness is very underrated.

[@88niteowl88]

Verrrrry!!

[@kimberlysimms1859]

Absolutely🎉

[@truthtorpedo4068]

Chile...

[@nikeyawashington4332]

Definitely Is!!

[@earlhoward6483]

We as men be trying to present this to women but they don’t want to hear it. It’s always we need to be doing something and not playing house

[@electric5hadow]

Derrick Jaxn logic: “I want credit for the 25% of the time that I didn’t cheat.”😂

[@aimeepaterson4423]

RIGHT?☹️smh

[@sisshaneka]

Boy math

[@electric5hadow]

@@sisshaneka nah, neither the vast majority of boys nor men would ever accept, co-sign or relate to Derrick Jaxn since day one.

[@harmonygodess99]

​@@sisshanekanarcissist math

[@EricaJ-hy4vo]

My problem with his whole side of the story is that the whole time he was doing all this relationship stuff he NEVER EVER mentioned being married or in a relationship. I followed him for years and the fact that when everything went down, people were SHOCKED that he was married...something is not right about that.

[@greenbyrdd8308]

A lot is not right about that because it speaks to him being deceptive. I believe nothing this manipulative man says.

[@WWEENETWORK]

​​@@greenbyrdd8308EXACTLY.... MASTER MANIPULATOR THEN AND NOW MORE SO THAN EVER..... ACTIONS SPEAKS LOUDER THAN ANY VERSION OF HIS WIVES STORY COULD EVER TELL....

[@mikaw4817]

This interview made me feel more for his ex wife. This interview right here is some b.s. The ugliness is seeping out his pores, and he is no longer attractive as he think he is.

[@marsha1758]

Yes! His entire platform is geared towards helping women in relationships, and he never mentions his wife. Not even as an example." My wife does/says this " or "We do this." When you're in a marriage, it's hard not to represent yourself as part of a couple. Unless, of course, you're being deliberately deceptive.

[@sanelisiwedlamini5943]

I never really followed or watched every video cuz I always looked four him to mention a wife

[@yolanda.7033]

Basically the interview "I cheated, then I would stop cheating for a day and massage her and buy her car. But somehow she was cold and distant. So I felt rejected. And went on to cheat again the next day coz she doesnt recognize and appreciate my efforts".

[@simplyroyalty7458]

😂😂😂 Right!!!!!! It's like he cheats and blames her for not trusting him and being resentful towards him. I'm glad you saw through all that BS because I was dumbfounded by those comments. That man isnt taking any accountability

[@detroitkaraoke]

🤣🤣🤣 Yes..... hot mess. Your paraphrasing is spot on.

[@truecrimetalks]

Facts🎉

[@siantelove]

Perfect summary😂 he had the nerve to say he was mad she called him "a cheater" when he had been faithful for A WHOLE 4 to 5 months of their years long relationship/ marriage 🙄 I guess she was supposed to throw him a party for 4 to 5 months of (alleged) faithfulness🎉😂--- he's crazy as hell and I feel gaslit after watching this mess😂.

[@leodegoddess2558]

All in a nutshell lmao then men wonder why we like being single, this is absurd

[@ishyagordon]

This interview just shows that two people can disagree and both be right (right in how they feel). Their feelings are both valid, just seeing the same thing from different eyes. This also shows how important communication is in any relationship. Therapy is also not your enemy, it helps. KEEP PEOPLE OUT YOUR MARRIAGE...sometimes it does more harm than good. I pray they both heal.

[@passportheavy5505]

How is he right by being a perpetual cheater and hypocrite

[@zivaughn]

@@passportheavy5505 He never said he was right…no one said he was right.

[@KamikazeSP06]

⁠he’s right in that he had valid feelings and acknowledges (constantly) his wrong and is attempting to respect his ex by not denying her loved experience. He screwed up royally. But he still has a life to live. And a rebuild to do.

[@MissAlomo]

🎯🎯🎯

[@heathertaylor7553]

I agree with you.. Let's put the emotional drama aside. They both came from broken places and it seems they never had the example of a marriage that withstood the winds of time. Let's pray for the healing and deliverance of all three.... blessings

[@ChristineTinaD]

Something doesn’t sit right with me, cheating is not a natural reaction every time someone hurts your feelings. Too many people justifying this and that’s crazy. This man needs help!

[@scrutinizethis]

Cheating is only done on test or in sports. Many of YOU “NEED HELP” just off repeating these silly statements that have been drilled into your brain over time.

[@thewrongshoes]

He just wanted to cheat. He has to come up with a reason to make it ok.

[@scrutinizethis]

@@thewrongshoes what is “cheating”? You do that in school on test to get better grades or in sports to win right? Many of you need to choose better terms. He didn’t “Cheat”. You can’t “cheat” on people. That’s victim mentality language.

[@MsLady-gb3gy]

💫💫💫Exactly so true 💫💫💫

[@tiaparkerbecomingherwomens7234]

surely!!!!

[@shondraward8907]

I don’t know how to explain it, but he is good at flipping the script. Not saying none of his feelings are valid but it’s as clear as day that he studied her interview well and came up with counter arguments for every single point. But , he doesn’t make it obvious. Covers it up with a compliment here or there. And it’s working based on the comments. He’s good!

[@BelleAhoy]

Exactly. I’m not sure what the people praising him are saying. He has not really take accountability. He is a master deceiver.

[@savannahlove9596]

I noticed

[@HealandHustleAcademy]

💯💯💯

[@Boahemaa]

Don't worry he didn't get everybody. Even the interviewer was not fooled. His whole catalogue of videos is narcissistic not one.

[@MsLady-gb3gy]

It's not working he needs all the help he sounds crazy and people can tell💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻🪻💚💚

[@brit9679]

Derrick could’ve given Dania a mental breakdown. I know a couple of women who took their lives because their husbands were constantly cheating. Men take their actions too lightly. Derrick is dangerous and calculated. Despite what people think they get away with, in this life you will reap every bit of what you sow.

[@Itsnogah]

This right here. Hearing her account was extremely difficult because he was emotionally and psychologically abusive and ABSOLUTELY could have sent her to an unsafe mental space.

[@Abigailinge]

Word!

[@MsScoates]

You are 100% correct about him, he is toxic, cold, and calculated.

[@ShesAbsurd]

And they are eating it up too

[@WWEENETWORK]

WELL SAID....HERE AS AN EX TEAM JAXN SUBSCRIBER...SMDH TO THIS PAYPERVIEW GASLIGHTING PART & PART 2 BS....DANIA AND MANY OF US HAS EVERY RIGHT TO PRAY PSALM 109 AGAINST THIS DEMON AND ANY ONE WHO ATTACKS HER CHARACTER...

[@AjaMcClahanan]

This man is charming & well spoken. What we are seeing is classic narcissistic abuse. The cycle of abuse includes violation of trust, gifts & “reconciliation,” being irritated with the victim’s support network, DENIAL/MINIMIZING & not being able to see from the victims perspective. In many instances, you can see the resentment & entitlement bubbling up, then he depends on Laterras social cues for help to straighten up his talk & appear empathetic. The topic of abusive personalities & sociopathic character traits is a great study for any who needs help avoiding these types. I wish more relationship podcasts talks about this. Also demons. Demons are real & can influence people.

[@hp51877]

I agree, I could smell the narcissism from a mile away. Something isn’t right with this dude

[@tiffanydaniels8012]

Agreed!!!

[@gumptwnbritt]

So true

[@coleenchapman8889]

Classic Narc!!! I hope ppl see this and take heed!!!

[@kristakneeland6613]

@@hp51877very much so!

[@BlessedBeyondMeasure77]

Both parties were damaged but this man has perfected his appearance, body language and speech. This is why the masses fell in love with him. There is something scary about a man who is good with his words. Its a gift and a curse. People will take one liners from therapists and declare themselves healed. Tag themselves to God and still move reckless. This is the kind of man your grandma warned you about, but what do I know🤷🏽‍♀️ I still wishing them both the best❤️

[@natural_nisse5428]

This the one ☝🏾

[@crystaldiamond3256]

I’m glad we on the same page.

[@itsalangleylife1639]

‼️

[@jeralinsunflower7300]

Facts!

[@treid1369]

They have the gift of gab to the point they tell on themselves if you actually listen

[@godivabaker6622]

You’re such a great interviewer. You’re empathetic, compassionate, and you listen without judgement. Kudos to you and I pray for your continued success.

[@LeeLivinLife]

And asks all the right questions! The ones that we have all been thinking!

[@Raray200]

He did a great job with the Interveiw, but I felt he was taking his wife’s side a lot. I think he kept looking for a lie or a misstep. He was in defense of her vs listening to his side unbiased and relating to him empathetically. I love the interviews, he is never out to embarrass anyone, but to understand.

[@cassandracassandra7352]

Me too sis !!!! Keep laterras covered shirts on deckkk 🫠🫠🫠🫠 we a team out here !!! We gotta keep this man covered with the blood of Jesus ….. keep every brother and sister of Christ covered with the blood of my savior Jesus Christ the Son of the almighty God hallelujah !!!!!!

[@meenameena-dd2zy]

I AGREE 100%. HE IS ABSOLUTELY AN EXCELLENT INTERVIEWER.

[@VictoriaLynne1966]

A man that’s not willing to 100% own his faults, will NEVER improve his behavior.

[@GIGI-lv1qt]

That statement doesn’t make sense

[@reesa_teesa]

Derrick studied Da'naias story well. He responded point for point, following but countering her narrative

[@YourGoodKarma]

This was my problem. He basically came on here to justify why he did what she said he did. He wasn’t telling his story. He is just responding. It’s inauthentic. Ppl are really falling for it too.

[@itsalangleylife1639]

@@YourGoodKarmaI can’t believe how many people are falling for his story.

[@christinarach340]

It makes sense though. Nothing he said mismatched what she said. He is just telling his side. Regardless if he is healed or not, that’s for him and the next woman to deal with. Hopefully he learns his lessons

[@monicasoyombo3360]

My discernment may not have been sharp enough for some of the past guests, but it's working now. I pray for both of these children of God. May the Most High give them both the wisdom to move forward in clarity and in peace for the sake of their babies. Amen🙏🏾

[@khalilahanderson]

But said he didn’t watch it, smh

[@caligirl10]

When he gives those little details about how he performs in the bedroom, it makes me feel like he’s saying it for the ladies watching. He’s not too graphic, but he is saying just enough to put it in the watchers mind.. if that makes sense. Maybe I’m thinking too deep into it, but it’s like he’s trying to attract women even while sitting on the couch, still married, talking about God, and supposedly taking accountability for his actions.

[@nikkipenn9714]

Yep

[@nnena3631]

Yeah Gloating and bragging about his bedroom prowess with mistresses is wild🤦🏾‍♀️

[@crystaldiamond3256]

That’s exactly what he doing.

[@christinarach340]

Well the ex gave it away when she said she used to watch his sex videos and perform to what she thought he wanted. He is very performative from what I get and he was just making it clear to the masses😂😂

[@AriaPringle9053]

@Caligirl 10: I agree, it is good that he came on the show but his words, he is slick and not to overuse the word, but definitely gives narcissistic vibes. He is well aware of what he is doing.

[@araxx8956]

I came to these interviews with an open mind, not knowing much about neither himself nor Da'Naia previously. However, this was a difficult watch. Derrick ticked every box for classic narcissism in the first 30 minutes. I honestly was hoping for more sincerity but every admittance came with a generous helping of justifications and excuses, neatly packaged as accountability. Da'Naia said her side of events in her interviews and to be honest she kept it relatively couth and polite considering the public embarrassment she has endured. But Dericks interview came across a hybrid between a subtle smear campaign and damage control. Derrick provides certain information and then labels it as 'context' but it's rarely relevant and only serves to cast shade on Da'Naia. For example, telling us about Da'Naia's 2nd r*pe was totally out of line and unnecessary. There were a million ways he could have explained that she was traumatised *without* providing us with that highly sensitive information. It was not his place to share that at all. This type of subtle smear technique is something that trained lawyers do to throw doubt and cast shade on the other person's image, it is subtle and highly calculated and was evident all throughout this interview. Furthermore, he describes Da'Naia as eventually becoming being cold and motionless during arguments, almost describing it like a silent tantrum but what he doesn't realise is that this is a very specific response called the 'grey rock technique' that therapists teach people to do when dealing with narcisissts. His attempt to show Da'Naia as cold and incapable of dealing with emotions actually showed us that she was finding and using specific coping mechanisms to deal with his behaviour. I by no means believe that Da'Naia is completely void of responsibility in the downfall of the relationship (it is clear the relationship was toxic on both sides at varying points) but this interview felt disaproportionately targeted, considering we came here to hear Derricks experience and not a discreditation and critical assessment of Da'Naia's. They are both better off apart and I hope they both get the help they need in order to find peace within themselves.

[@GraceForYourWellness]

💯

[@windycitytransplant1284]

I agree with you!

[@kissieandrus9346]

💯

[@RayneWrites]

You hit the nail on the head and unless a person is a mental health professional or have lived this experience, narcissism is extremely hard to pinpoint...it usually looks like charisma, charming, helpful, thoughtful, sweet but the motive is self promotion and edification. I am charming you to get what I want; I want praise so I am being helpful; I am using my charisma to get people to like me so I can control them.

[@111Tryagain55]

Spot on response.

[@lindaj2960]

This guy is good. He’s gaslighting the people in the comments. His wife is lucky she was able to get out while she’s young. He blames her, below the surface for all of his cheating and bad behavior. The part about that condo, wow I think he believes his reasoning himself. I hope she continues therapy so she can find a true man instead of this surface facsimile of a man. He needs therapy too, but I hear it’s hard to cure narcissism on this level.

[@CaliDiva82]

Glad someone else sees it

[@aimeepaterson4423]

A True & Entitled Sociopath. Very Destructive! Thank God His Wife Got Our Safely and She's Now Continuing To Heal 🙏

[@joshforeman1723]

Yes, she did very good.🤪 Now she is a single mother, older, less beautiful and she will have to be by herself, the only thing that she will get is some beadsheets time from multiple men that also they will be fucking other women but without the love of a husband And on top of that she will not even be able to attract the caliber of man of Derek jackson and i don't like him but the reality is how it is. Any man of that caliber is just really really highly possible that he cheats, but she will not be able to get even that. what a good move! 🤪🤪

[@truthtorpedo4068]

They both need HELP!

[@harmonygodess99]

Right !

[@SimplyKea]

I heard nothing from both interviews. He was talking as a coach and leading us on. He did not take responsibility for nothing he just “subtly blamed” the wife. And made everyone feel for him which is what he wanted to accomplish. He has definitely coached. And he sprinkled a bit of God there and here. I think he researched dear future wifey. He had definitely listened to the wife’s interview. And he keeps highlighting his providing 👀🙆🏽‍♀️. I honestly just heard a lot of coaching talk. 🙇🏽

[@frencheleerving]

I just don't trust.

[@mikaw4817]

💯💯I feel no sympathy for this man. I was pissed when he brought up the 2nd r*pe allegation. If she wanted it exposed she would've talked about it during HER interview.

[@roccyandy]

Really never like him. What you wanted him to do mopping around. Beat himself up? What's wrong with y'all but what you say is valid from your point of view.

[@MerveilleK]

Same thing I said for the previous interview. He is talking, I’m listening but I can’t hear a thing. SMH 🤦🏽‍♀️ he just did more damage control

[@SimplyKea]

@@roccyandy I wanted him to take responsibility for his own actions and account for it all. I wanted him not to throw shades and subtly blame the wife. He came here to reply to the wives’ interview and not have a truthful and open discussion.

[@althatjazz2]

In his wife’s mind, she was never single so even when they had broken up during college and afterwards, his sexual relationships with other women just broke her down and further traumatized her. Women, don’t pretend you’re alright with a friends with benefits situationship. Walk away because a man who claims to love you but sleeps with multiple women will keep hurting you

[@ZareetheB]

He's really cold and lacks remorse. Also He talks so condescending like everyone is beneath him. He still sees himself as the victim, "he cheated because she hurt him first." I hope God can soften his heart.

[@divinity26]

As one who was able to separate the man from the message, I'm glad Derrick had the opportunity to share his side of the experience. I applaud both Derrick & his wife/ex-wife for their courage and candor.

[@ry2yb]

Such a great point! We do that every week with our pastors and church leaders. God uses imperfect people to preach His perfect gospel. We must separate the man from the message, or else we will throw out the baby with the bath water.

[@ry2yb]

They certainly had courage. I don't know if I could air my dirty laundry like that. Kudos to them for their courage.

[@FabiCheri]

So much closer for both sides of the party.

[@Itisaboutangeltoday]

I don’t. He is a liar and I am surprised at the interviewer believing the lies.

[@paulinaocloo4799]

😊😊😊😊😊

[@hazelnut_toffee]

There’s no excusing Derrick Jaxn for his actions… but hearing his side of the story brought balance. Their relationship and marriage were extremely toxic. She isn’t innocent. But realistically… their marriage is showing us the real of two broken people trying to love each other in the only ways they know how. We don’t get a manual to these things. Dating and relationships are messy (hence divorce rates). Their mess was just super public.

[@CocoChanelle-1]

Not sure what you meant by “she isn’t innocent”.

[@hazelnut_toffee]

@@CocoChanelle-1 It sounds like she wasn’t being transparent about how she was really feeling. She instead chose to deal with her hurt using retaliation and passive aggression. It’s understandable because I’ve been there too but those are toxic responses.

[@CocoChanelle-1]

@@hazelnut_toffee when you find out your man or husband has been cheating with multiple women, I don’t think you think rationally at that point. That’s a big load to carry.

[@hazelnut_toffee]

@@CocoChanelle-1 It is. And that’s why he’s not off the hook either. But we can’t excuse toxic behavior because of the way someone else treats us. It’s like telling someone to be okay with me yelling at them because they made me angry. We have choices. You can leave an unhealthy situation before you act out of character. I’m not innocent either because I’ve done all these things. But I must be accountable for them.

[@kimsanders8262]

I agree she not innocent either and her mother was messy too

[@austin27lj]

He broke the covenant of their relationship but did not understand that once you break trust it’s hard to get it back. Then he continued to cheat which added insult to injury. Her heart was broken and he thought that if he bought gifts it would make up for the cheating. It can take years for a person to heal from infidelity. He wanted a quick fix but was not invested. He lacked self control and empathy and compassion for his wife healing process from the trauma he caused. This man is not loyal! Many people get married with developmental trauma. He does not understand a marital covenant, loyalty, etc. He literally just suggested that she was keeping his kids from him, he blames her from not accepting his apology when he continued to cheat. She supported him regardless even when she looked crazy, he wanted his cake and eat it to. If he wanted to be married he would have stopped cheating and put in the work to heal his Marriage. His wife said he cheated before they got married. I believe her trauma and low self esteem blinded her to his bull. His wife had enough and she finally walked away! He also keeps saying She is this and she is that, and he keeps saying I hope she don’t mind me saying this. It’s like he’s trying to paint her as a bad mom with pretty words but shaded underneath. This main is a Male Jezebel! He blocked her because he could not handle the truth! In the end their is fruit in her transformation and yet he’s still the same!

[@Niyasutton]

I agree

[@tinaelliott]

You are so head on!

[@mikaw4817]

All of this ‼️💯💯💯💯

[@gumptwnbritt]

Spot on.

[@reneeray4211]

Every time he calls himself “the big bad wolf”, my skin crawls. It’s a form of playing the victim. Which he does a lot in this interview. He took a fragile woman and continually cheated on her. If he was so empty and neglected he should have left before the engagement. I believe his constant disloyalty and perverted ways caused his wife to have a mental breakdown. The fact that he is claiming he wanted his marriage to work, but blames his mother in law for the demise of his marriage sickens me! His mother in law knew how manipulative he can be. She also understood that her daughter was not longer mentally stable when it comes to dealing with this man. Everything is about him. Everything and everyone has a short window of time to make him happy or else. God wasn’t even able to live up to his standards. Pinky, this man is to be avoided!

[@monicasoyombo3360]

What you have said, contains no lies. And it's very interesting because I would have never noticed the things you have identified, had I not experienced a similar type of person in a relationship, and I now recognize them immediately. Strongholds are hard to identify when they have you in a CHOKE HOLD!

[@adrianstrong2127]

FACTS!!!!!!! I can now rest because this comment is here. My ex-husband was like him and he could/can woo the pants off men and women alike (minister of music at our church. ADORED!! To this day, most people do not believe the emotional torture he put me through because he is just too nice. He was a wolf in sheep's clothing and so is this guy.

[@Nangondo]

Finally you have analyzed this character well.... scam artist to the core.... make me happy OR ELSE... like really... The whole thing was so convoluted I just couldn't. It was also very triggering. I have dated a Derrick too.... there's no negotiation you just RUN... and don't look back... Can you imagine he sends out a Mother's day message for her without tagging her after blocking her. Everything monetized... poor woman has children with this degenerate... eish a lifetime of dealing with him... as Mister's father in the Color Purple : 'she has my sympathy!"...

[@simplebeauty3820]

Even if his intent was deceptive, his words are truth. Martial decline is the responsibility of both parties. Sometimes as an injured party, we often operate from a place of pain and resentment all while saying we want our marriage to survive. At the end of the day, words and actions have an effect and sometimes we inadvertently work against the very thing we say we want.

[@Nappystorm]

Yep

[@NurseLisaD]

Having the spirit of discernment is VERY IMPORTANT!! He can speak as much as he wants, but he is not living under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and never was. He was putting on an act to keep her. He strung this woman along. He wanted Kate and Edith too. Actions speak louder than words. He never committed to his family and he is blaming. They are both a problem, but he has a problem that only God can help.

[@indiemeans9735]

I didn’t think that I would say this, but it was good to hear Derrick’s side of this story.

[@MsUniqueSparkles]

He should go into acting.

[@DW-es2en]

It’s always good to hear both sides of the story.

[@keonnorris9728]

Facts! I agree!

[@Ifanythingeverhappenstome]

A bunch of excuses for cheating is what he gave

[@BjtheLawyer_]

@@Ifanythingeverhappenstomehave some grace & empathy. Remember, women married for decades have empathy for men!

[@ThirtySomethingDiaries]

The spirit of discernment is needed to process this interview. That is all.

[@itsalangleylife1639]

This comment should be pinned!

[@Marcie_does_it]

Anyone with any discernment can see he’s a walking red flag. Just laying eyes on him has my spirit-man doing flips.

[@HerbalQueen]

Yes!!!

[@15MinuteLove]

You all really think you're spiritual and have some revelation when you're doing nothing more than projecting. I pray you don't need grace one day and your faults aren't exposes.

[@Marcie_does_it]

@@15MinuteLove Nope, not projecting at all. I was single for a long time. I met men, in the church, that the Holy Spirit would say, “don’t even look that way.” I’m speaking as a woman who was once single and navigating. I don’t think his ex should have gotten pregnant by or gotten married to him. He wears who he is on his sleeve. Tell me you can’t see it… We all need grace, everyday. My husband graciously extends it to me, daily, and vice versa. Of course Derrick needs grace. That doesn’t mean that he isn’t, obviously, bad news for whatever woman he ends up with. It’s really obvious.

[@kalab.1463]

This man reminds me so much of my ex husband. He never takes full accountability for his actions, he always has to add in what his ex wife was or wasn’t doing in a way to “justify or minimize” his actions. He’s a walking, talking trigger for so many women.

[@beverlygatson]

I was thinking the same thing. So grateful for freedom and heaing

[@dette3000]

I said the same thing the whole time.

[@CoachKhara]

Yep. I divorced one of those too.

[@CrownEducationalServicesIntl]

Very triggering and when a man like this doesn’t get their own way… watch out

[@afrothundar]

This interview was very enlightening. I actually went to the same college as Derek his ex wife and I had definilty prejudged him based upon things I had seen/heard as an outsider looking in. Hearing both of their sides I have much more compassion for the both of them. They were kids who had been traumatized, entered a relationship unhealed and went on to traumatize each other.

[@jzloveinfinite]

💯

[@MrMzcurlz1]

That is perfectly stated. I agree with your opinion, 100%

[@teemoore676]

Exactly! I feel the same way. A lot of childhood trauma, unhealed traumatic violation of being raped and them both not healing those things internally and entering into a relationship. Life lessons are hopefully what they have learned from and become stronger over time.

[@huntershill4131]

Amen

[@kayteewatson5944]

This right here!!!!

[@slandynoel99]

This story is the perfect illustration of how unhealed traumas, lack of self boundaries, lack of family boundaries , lack of healthy communication, taking advices from unqualified individuals can destroy families. A happy, healthy, holistic life won’t just happen. We have to be willing to learn the proper skills with therapy, coaching, counseling from qualified individuals to design it. May these two continue to heal, grow, learn, show empathy and understanding to each other.

[@letsbefruitful5457]

This is a good point ❤

[@patientv]

NOT excusing HIS behavior and NOT excusing HER behavior, it is very eye-opening to see What Each of them was thinking & feeling. What her triggers made her do and How she blamed him AND what his triggers made him do, How he responded to her and what excuses he made up for himself... All the little reasons why they were feeling and responding the way they did to various scenarios. He was contributing to her trauma. And she was contributing to his trauma. And neither one of them seeing it... This is why we all need to pray for personal healing.

[@wiljonson2744]

This was nothing short of a PR move. He's on here trying to salvage the shattered remains of his "brand". Between his several social media platforms, he has millions of followers. If he wanted to do a "tell all" he's had ample time and opportunity to do so. Let's not forget this man has been sitting behind a camera portraying a false image for nearly a decade. You really think he's going drop the charade now?

[@beverlyking8462]

I agree because he's not accountable for all his actions.

[@annagrace1159]

Agreement with this post lukewarm Christians are the easiest group of people to deceive, unfortunately. Next move...Derek Jackson Ministries - The double-minded and unrepentant- idolatrous-church-of-god-not-in-Christ

[@pwilson5625]

It’s crazy how many people are brainwashed in the comments.

[@CaliDiva82]

Exactly

[@nnena3631]

​@@pwilson5625I think this audience is calibrated to see blessings in b.s. instead of what it really is...

[@Hisintrovertedwifey]

In the world of public opinion it’s important to hear both sides. I hope everyone learns from this to be objective and hear people out before writing them off. Great Job 👏

[@iamprincesschic]

I agree 100% this is one of the best comments I've seen! ‼️

[@shantrelledecuir6669]

Exactly, I’m glad he did the interview! But it’s seem like his wife have a lot of unhealed trauma! Her mama not helping the situation!

[@Hisintrovertedwifey]

@@iamprincesschic thank you lovely 🥰

[@Hisintrovertedwifey]

@@shantrelledecuir6669 I think so the mother ran interference which ultimately caused the death of the marriage. How could the wife think for herself when her mother projected her trauma on her? That’s the part right there! As a young millennial I’ve seen this with my friends and their marriages and I’m only 30. Think about how many millennial marriages end because of this. We need an episode on the trauma between mother and daughter and how that affects marriage.

[@iamprincesschic]

@@shantrelledecuir6669 I agree 100% and what I have learned from this there are two sides to the story. They both were young and needed healing emotionally. Derrick is not the only one to be held accountable. It takes two to either make a marriage successful or unsuccessful. She had a lot of issues as well, and he processed it the way he knew how it may not have been right but he was not spiritually inclined to the proper coping mechanisms!

[@dorothymatthews6690]

What good is all of the gifts and money if you're cheating? If you're going to cheat, stay single. Cheating on your spouse brings a lot of confusion, disrespect and drama into the marriage and children. Just dont do it. Do it God's way! Thank you Derrick and Laterras for being so vulnerable.

[@niissh5765]

This was a great interview. This couple basically picked at each others wombs and tiggers just by being themselves. I pray for healing for both of them

[@LisePlansandJournals]

wombs? You must mean wounds because Derrick doesnt have a womb😂

[@memes.1114]

Girl, he cheated, and she was hurt. He's creating a narrative to discredit her story and receive attention. He's taking no accountability, and we're all like" poor narc, who cheated and felt rejected for your actions."

[@TheSavvyBrown]

@@memes.1114I disagree. He takes accountability when he says he was wrong, he justified his actions; he knows he wasn’t doing things right, etc. Those are statements of accountability. He’s explaining his perspective but His feelings are valid too.

[@theresadaughterofthemosthi4963]

This dude talked all this time so fast and so smooth and I never once felt any real change in him. I know he has not grown he just got better with glazing over his crap. And it’s important for a real man to react to this video to teach women the red flags here.

[@MeekaFayetima]

it's scary that people can't see all the manipulation tactics he's using

[@adrianstrong2127]

GAS LIGHTiNG AT ITS BEST!!!!!!!

[@hey_kudisco_podcast]

This. Manipulation 101.

[@WoundstoScars]

Makes for good training material. Master class in gaslighting

[@15MinuteLove]

You listened with the intention of my hearing in the first place. You need him to be the victim, justifies your projection of your unhealed places in your heart.

[@introvertedentrepreneur6651]

No no no. There is no excuse, no justification, no reason as to why he slept w over 100+ women throughout their relationship. There are so many red flags in this interview. You can really see how amazing of an actor he is

[@bunniegullette9736]

After hearing both sides, I believe her! That marriage was never meant... This is a life lesson... So many including myself can learn a lot from this

[@arclarie]

It’s so much easier to break an engagement than a marriage; but a lot of people will go through with a doomed marriage from the start just to save face. So sad 😞

[@jzloveinfinite]

I believe both of their versions. The FACT is that they were not ready nor equipped to be married.

[@larabraver]

@@arclarie Very true. I went through with a marriage at 23 because I thought it was too late to back out and I had to do it; I simply didn't have the courage to cancel it. He was a cheater and a user and after marriage beat me up and kept cheating. I hope many find the courage to choose embarrassment over a terrible marriage.

[@theresalor]

They were friends with Benefits and had a wholeeee situationship that was never supposed to be a marriage. From their interviews, I can see that it was never meant to be a marriage.

[@goodtrouble841]

i believe both!

[@GabrielEbony]

No one is perfect and EVERYONE deserves grace. I appreciate the conversation that was had.

[@akuma1921]

This right here! Because all these people that attacked him want and need grace too. Seems these same people forgot they have their own skeletons in the closet that’s just not out in the open.

[@thirty-eightandfeelinggrea9739]

Especially rich, handsome cheaters. Do you have same grace for child molesters forcing boys and girls to suck and ?

[@Bobbi_with_an_i]

Derrick has the gift of performing! Bravo 👏🏾

[@FTYC2022]

I hope you aren't dating, because that's pretty much all men.

[@laeticialaeticia4474]

Not "Bravo" 😂😂🤣

[@brandonlow1694]

Absolutely! Took the words right out of my mouth lol

[@chelsealynn3814]

These Jackson interviews are two of the best interviews ever. No judgement to either of them…I just pray they both continue to heal. On the other side of this there is a powerful testimony for both of them!

[@Michellehardyorg]

After hearing both of their stories, I understand. I appreciate the fact that they both were given an opportunity to share. All of what we saw in her interview....his interview gave more clarity. I hear his apology and I heard hers as well. Thank you both for your vulnerabililty. I wish them peace and joy in their future lives as two individually whole people.

[@yashicajett7001]

There is no connection to a woman's looks and a man's integrity. ❤

[@cprllty]

PERIODT

[@mocamocam2258]

Powerful!

[@0330abarrett]

“I felt more lonely & single when we were together, than when I was single” Whewww I felt that!! 💯 I been in a relationship like that before… Hurts a lot!! Mentally & physically 💔

[@georgemoore1379]

ditto.......

[@MsDeeization]

I was in a marriage like that for 12 years. It's a living hell.

[@Zuri78]

Okay. I had a guy to tell me that and I couldn't get a clear answer from him he said I feel lonely yes I love my wife we been married for 20 years we get along but I feel alone . I'm trying to picture how that could be.....wow. Unhappy incomplete sad depression empty. Then you are searching for what you are missing from your partner. Just trying to understand. Sorry

[@darlene196]

Me too!

[@therealNicoleB_]

I was in a 10yr marriage with many of these ups and downs, but the feeling of being lonely while married is the worst

[@AriMayweather]

He is my EX-husband- takes accountability then he tap dances back to “well, you hurt me so I don’t like to be hurt!” I see he is trying to own his wrongs however, this man needs therapy and to heal from his past. Then he needs to NEVER get into another relationship. It’s ok to be a forever bachelor lol

[@zero1188]

You can take accountability and still be hurt by what the other person did

[@ellechance2344]

And if that, then abstinent, Cuz them soul ties be real

[@ShutUpAndBump]

@@zero1188I think people also don’t understand that when he’s recalling certain events, he’s speaking in the present tense but with the emotions he held at that time. So he may be saying I’m taking accountability but at that time I was feeling xyz…

[@beverlyking8462]

I totally agree he is making it seem like he doesn't remember certain things and I think he does. He doesn't want to really be accountable to most of his actions. I honestly don't believe some of the things he's saying. He doesn't want his character to be diminished at all and I feel like he's in defensive mode.

[@exquisitejewelrikkei2957]

Exactly, what I am hearing! Spot on

[@dallasdallas3128]

Thank you, Derrick Jackson. I think you showed up authentic. You both are young people growing and learning through life. Yall were growing and learning and trying to live life on a public platform to be exposed

[@croffittadoo]

Every human needs to hear this interview...especially childhood trauma victims! It's essential for healing to the soul...

[@creating1_c1999]

yep...if they don't come away without accountability resting with both, they need to watch it again until they do.

[@donethmiller1963]

True

[@shilliard1888]

BIG facts.

[@empoweredtogo]

That pre-marital counseling is so important.

[@croffittadoo]

@@empoweredtogo vital

[@Sheruffin04]

Just because you can laugh at your turmoil doesn't mean you're healed. Laughing actually can be seen as avoidance.

[@laylawright9519]

Definitely 💯

[@t_harris2_489]

I thought that i was the only one to catch that!

[@Sheruffin04]

@t_harris2_489 Girl no. I'm an unhealed person working through healing so I definitely knew that statement was wrong. He's still learning (Dear Future Wifey) as he interviews people so it's just miseducation, and she, I hope, is still working through her journey.

[@HerbalMeBackToLife]

She felt cold and rejected you because you violated her trust. You didn’t do it one time, you kept emotionally beating her each time you stepped out on the marriage. This is so sad

[@Ty.S93]

Exactly he put in her in a bad head space from the first time he cheated and when she didn’t heal sick enough he kept doing it, starting the cycle. He definitely made her the bed person this interview. Didn’t talk about his heaux tales at all

[@safizzle8]

no she felt cold and rejected cuz of her rape

[@Ty.S93]

@@safizzle8 thats part of it...two things can be true. He added to that rejection constantly cheating. He is no free of guilt.

[@safizzle8]

@@Ty.S93 very true but he mentioned that she was like that I'm before cheating tho and he couldnt understand wh

[@Ty.S93]

and if you listened they werent together that long before he cheated...this man is a liar. He studied her interview and has a reason for why he did everything lol @@safizzle8

[@greenladybug64]

I'M BACK! PART 2 WAS EVERYTHING. This was an amazing interview and if you already came being judge and jury you will MISS what is being said. I love hearing both sides of the story. Once again, grace to Derrick, healing to the Jackson's, and to God be the glory for the outcome.

[@myahouston20]

What the hell is truly being said😂?! He validated what she said!

[@ItsMissChas5]

Absolutely 💯

[@sweetdreamscr]

I agree it was great to see both sides

[@karenedwards2139]

Amen!!!

[@PurpleReels]

Yes indeed! All of this! Amen.

[@globalconcern4995]

This was illuminating, heart wrenching, and honest. My heart goes out to the entire family and wish them healing and true restoration.

[@celestinnarose]

“I was reacting. Instead of being accountable to the principles and the vows of the marriage, I was accountable to how I felt which was part of a long pattern of, ‘I’ll be good as long as I feel good about you’. The moment I don’t feel good, screw it”. - the most honest thing he said..

[@michaelization1]

I'm so glad this interview happened. I love what Dear Future Wifey represents. There's a safe space here for our humanity. The highs, lows, hopes, fears, and namely, communication and expectations. Derrick thought he was providing what she wanted and it wasn't. She had expectations and they were unspoken. This also speaks to the dangers of deep religiosity and lack of spirituality.

[@crespeakslife]

Yep! Great summary!

[@15MinuteLove]

Everything about this comment!! ❤

[@donethmiller1963]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@lp9716]

I also loved the fact that not once did he disrespect her honor, nor did he deny anything she said. He may have seen some situations differently, but he did not deny a thing. He's by no means a perfect man (who is?) but he held his own and clearly and articulately explained his experience.

[@annickcharles3406]

This marriage ended before it even started Lord! I hope they both heal

[@mariaamor2496]

💯

[@truthtorpedo4068]

I'm so grossed out!

[@deitriagladden4440]

What did he expect from her??? She watched videos of him rejecting her over and over again with other women!! But he wanted her to show him so much love and acceptance!! He’s a sociopath!!

[@truthtorpedo4068]

They're both a mess! Sorry!

[@jazfacts]

I believe he really tried with the tools he had. Flawed man who wanted to do right but succumbed to his lusts and desires while feeling rejected. I hope he grows from this conversation and becomes more honest with himself. We too old out here to be messing around.

[@unapologeticlly-Me]

Chile where you see that at ??? Cuz he was still adding trauma and cheating the whole time you can’t sue tool’s without actually changing and still doing crazy stuff he was not helping tbh he may have had some good intentions on some things but the way he was doing it was toxic and he tried to control her heeling his way and it wasn’t right and it doesn’t take common sense to see that .

[@jazfacts]

@@unapologeticlly-Me First off, please don’t call my common sense into question. I’m not here to defend this man or demonize him either. I don’t know him. This is simply my opinion. Have a nice one.

[@missboyeux2956]

Agree with you... the family involved didn't help. They were too young. Plus nobody wants to have their partners see everything in demonic way. It drying

[@annagrace1159]

unfortunately, it is natural for us to justify what we really don't have the answer for to fix. But there is only one way, one truth and one life and that's Jesus Christ 💯

[@Sandra-ly1ss]

Absolutely! Well stated.

[@simbawoof7368]

Ya'll there *are ALWAYS 3 sides to a story. Her side, his side and the truth!!! I'm so glad Derick was given an opportunity to tell his side.

[@thirty-eightandfeelinggrea9739]

"are" Boooo

[@ghutchin33]

Yes . And in my opinion , you will only hear the truth when both are on the couch together ( as there were a few inaccuracies between both interviews ie: passing women in the hall ). Certainly , they don’t owe us that but just my opinion.

[@MarkieMcG.]

Y'all believed his lies even before he told anything.

[@UnpopularAdvisor]

Take both sides and sum it up

[@souljourneyjae]

What's really sad is that someone can have all this knowledge and understanding but an inability to apply it to their life. A fragile ego will have you feeling rejected, abandoned, and victimized from normal interactions and triggered by imaginary offenses or deluded interpretations. Not that there isn't cause and effect here, but the bottom line is each of us is responsible for our reaction to our experiences and the actions we choose to take as a result of our feelings.

[@d_nice3939]

This was great to hear both sides! Glad you gave him the opportunity to give his side of things despite how others may perceive it and how the public view him. Very interesting to hear both stories!

[@Rashaadthegr8]

hi

[@tthomas]

Agreed! The male perspective is also needed to hear...

[@sandral.8693]

I retract my judgement (gosh as people we judge so easy)glad I listened to both sides of the story,hope and pray they both find healing🙏🏽

[@osoclassy27]

It’s crazy because so many women deal with men like Derrick. All I hear is excuses for bad behavior 🥴.

[@katricec5403]

This marriage was the fruit of seeds planted in childhood and past trauma that was never addressed or healed. They chose each other out of their brokenness. Great interview. Good to hear both sides. I didnt get emotionally involved in either interview to protect my own peace. I listened and learned!

[@ChooseCompassion1]

This interview was powerful! If anyone says there’s no accountability or compassion here, they are not listening. I absolutely understand Derrick’s reservation about speaking out. I saw Derrick break down in our small group over this. Just because the media doesn’t see the vulnerability, doesn’t mean people don’t care, are arrogant, narcissistic, or (insert label here). I hope people will see that these are two real people, with real internal issues that many people have. Their personal issues don’t negate the message. To act in self righteousness towards either of them tells more about the critic. Who has walked perfectly? Who hasn’t been hurt or hurt someone else? The difference is, the entire social media world is not watching and waiting to broadcast the average person’s low moments. Both Danaia and Derrick are two truly wonderful humans who will coparent together. Both are deserving of true healing and true love! This message is truly powerful for so many reasons! 💯

[@chantelwilson-ings8402]

Agree

[@michaelization1]

I love this comment. It's balanced and realistic.

[@gigga693]

I hear a lot of verbal accountability. I also understand that accountability is action based. The media doesn’t portray that his accountability is action based, but the media can be skewed, inaccurate, and intentionally messy. In addition, he doesn’t owe us action based accountability. He owes that to God and himself. He also has a responsibility of accountability for his family, his circle, his audience (none of which I belong to). I agree it’s a powerful interview, too.

[@nnena3631]

Talk is cheap. What did his actions show?🤔

[@ChooseCompassion1]

@@nnena3631 Unless you are in their inner circle, his actions are not your concern.

[@realfreedomofspeech]

Manipulation is a skill...he's perfected it along with misdirection. "If you consider cheating as abuse..." said enough. Cheating is emotional, spiritual psychological abuse that leads to physical pain and damage. Ignore his physical appearance. Skip the "im the big bad wolf" victim rhetoric...see through the illusions painted by the ego. Observation isn't judgement it's discernment... it is also a skill to recognize the spirit of truth.

[@viewfromthemancave1092]

Y’all know good and well Laterras was gone ask the tough questions. Just in a respectful way so folks can learn from this.

[@KingofgraceSARA]

The only thing to learn are the signs & symptoms of narcissism.

[@theladykaychatpodcast]

Yes!!!

[@ksimm-ie4gn]

Whew 😅 back to a normal couch experience. Thanks Latteras … love that you extract transparency and pave a pathway to understanding love and relationships in a way that brings healing to the soul and enlightenment to the mind. Gracious ‼️❤️

[@nnena3631]

He asked him tough questions and fed him either how to respond or what Denaia said sp he knew which direction to go. Denia had to answer organically Derrick was lead throughout the interview not the best way to get authentic answers.

[@sashamarieMFT]

​@@KingofgraceSARAgirl.... tell them!!!!

[@latoyawalls5042]

I don't hear no accountability on his end. Only accountability he owning up to is what's already been publicly reveal. Him not owning up or taking accountability for what he cause is insane to me. All the infidelity, gaslighting, and emotional abuse that cause damage or impacted her mental sounds like a narc to me. Might not be a full blown narc but definitely got narc traits.

[@CaliDiva82]

Exactly

[@livia8227]

She always felt like he was too good for her. He always felt like she should be appreciative that he’s with her. The end.

[@NaijaCouture]

In full transparency....I entered with a spirit of skepticism - I left appreciating the conversation. Wish them both healing, health, and successful new beginnings.🙏🏾

[@sharesewilliams7811]

Both conversations needed to be had. Thank you for this.

[@leodegoddess2558]

Not once did he take accountability genuinely for anything he did, he makes excuses and blames her. At least Da’Naia admitted she was being delusional and foolish, this is painful to watch.

[@jaderoberts9598]

Two things can be true at once. This situation could happen to any two, un-healed individuals with low self awareness and esteem. It was so brave for both of them to share their perspectives. We can all learn and grow from this.

[@ka8204]

Y’all are so naive

[@WordWoman111]

I’m glad I listened to all of his, as well as her episodes. It's important to hear both sides in any situation. I see how so many women get taken by men., and vice versa. Lack of exposure and discernment. He’s walking the fine line of just enough accountability while still blaming her. “Hey, I’m a good guy, a provider, a lover. She just didn’t understand how to receive my style of love. She MADE ME KEEP DOING WRONG." 🙄 I hope everyone learned whatever they needed to. In my opinion, neither one of them should be speaking to anyone until they are both further along in their healing process. For some reason, many of those still unhealed feel the need to share their “testimony” and teach quickly. Trust, the people can wait; your testimony will be even greater, deeper. This is all a part of celebrity culture. We are looking at two flawed people, seeking answers from them for our own situations. Go within.

[@backtotoni]

All of this!!!! 😢

[@ellechance2344]

DO and FINISH! YES!!! But the interim is proof that it IS a process! Shoot, it’s taken me 8 years of work. Truly #hautemess transformed by Grace! 🥰

[@Passion84GodAlways]

@Goldenlady111 - WELL said!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@Blkbutterfly18]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@lovingme1st973]

Talking does help you fully heal. I'm unsure what "fully healed" looks like or if it even exist.

[@thehoneydeev]

Derrick is at it again. His PR team trained him very well, and now we’re soaping for him 😅

[@MarshelleHarris]

All things are coming together is making sense when you hear both sides together. The lack of communication can kill any marriage. I’m so glad they are healing. I do believe healing can happen in married when both are willing to do so.

[@constancereynolds3110]

​@@laurenino17And what?

[@laurenino17]

@@constancereynolds3110 I mistakenly typed a comment

[@kaywisseh]

Part two was better than part one! Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to hit rock bottom. If hitting rock bottom brings out a better version of ourselves than it served its purpose. Salute 🫡 King!

[@thirty-eightandfeelinggrea9739]

He be hitting but it aint rock bottom.

[@15MinuteLove]

Part two was definitely the best!

[@asiamonae4483]

LT said what's Free is Fidelity give me that.... 🎯🎯‼️‼️🌻💛 Wow powerful

[@marciamcelveen4483]

Wow ! That was an amazing conversation. This is a perfect example to show that you should always give people grace because you don’t know what goes on behind close doors.

[@sfreeman417]

I commend you Laterras for being so intentional in being a safe space for Derrick to tell his truth and his experience. Divorcing is hard and feels like a death. It isn't easy for either party. I can relate to Derrick in attempting to make personal changes within yourself for the betterment and saving your marriage; spouse still walks away. It's crushing and disheartening. Many blessings Laterras. You are a vessel in so many people's healing. My heart and prayers go out to them both.

[@evolvinglove7786]

This man is Selfish. I truly hope he heals for his family.❤

[@BriteEyes1]

In my opinion Derrick didn’t and still doesn’t understand that it takes time for a spouse to get over infidelity. How much time is different for each individual. Derrick admits to cheating off and on during their entire relationship. He was like, well I was good for a few months, rubbing feet, she ain’t got to work, and she still rejected me. Then he’d go cheat again. When the heck did she have time to emotionally recover, heal, let alone grow to trust Derrick again? It’s like a cut that is healing, then you scratch at the same cut again and reopen the wound.

[@larabraver]

Very well said. Hopefully, he’ll understand this as he continues therapy.

[@karene.valera1762]

This is where I didn't think @dearfuturewifey asked questions that held him accountable. Usually he would. It seemed like at some points, Laterras resonated with him from his own past. Laterras also said it at the end, Derrick has a gifting....on top of being to therapy. It's a recipe for a beautiful speech. 😢

[@darlene196]

Alot of their issues could have been avoided if they'd gotten therapy for their childhood traumas. This isn't only his issue.

[@creating1_c1999]

They are both a mess. Look at all of those years she kept that SA from the light...I feel sorry for the world. This is the norm it seems. No one wants to do the work. At least they are doing it now...I guess. I hope it is not just lip service from either one. They need intentional effort to heal themselves.

[@elusivebeauty711]

It’s called trauma bonding.

[@feliciamoore6325]

It was great hearing both sides of the coin. This was so necessary, and I pray they both heal to the fullest and live their best lives. ❤

[@alexisbrown2109]

This relationship was ALOT… sometimes we have to know when to let things go 😫

[@duchessofbrooklyn]

EXACTLY! That’s it that’s all. This just a situation that went too far for too long.

[@amab1853]

They should have gotten divorced years ago. Or after they finished college, and broke up that should have been a wrap. They were having challenges from their college days. They should have hung it up then. Their relationship was so volatile and toxic

[@gettinItBACK]

Alot of nothing GOOD!! When Danaia left and went to her Mom, they should have been done.

[@CaliDiva82]

He was able to review her story and come up with his rebuttal. It doesn’t feel genuine. He was able to clean up his answers. Not buying it I can’t believe how many women are so stuck by the fact that he’s an attractive man. If he was ugly and had did all of these things he would get no lead way. He should left the marriage and not continuously cheat. The embarrassment of how the women come out publicly, the lies he sole to the public when he was actually taking about himself. He is blaming her for his cheating wake up. Already had a new chick in public before the divorce ink has dried. No accountability

[@nnena3631]

Bingo! The first lie he told was he didn't watch her interview then proceeds to reference the interview 😩

[@ambermckenzie7646]

I 1000 percent agree…he’s had time to rehearse and he’s very manipulative and has a good way with his words

[@eebz5]

Thank you. Prepared rebuttal. If i saw him out, i would NOT be attracted...everybody has different taste. However, Laterrias is excellent at asking questions and digging.

[@susankarema9095]

I've been looking for this comment...he was not genuine at all Laterras also didn't do a good job on this one...he should have held him accountable more

[@MindoverMecia]

Exactly!! Still using his charm and the people are eating it up!! Whoever says he’s accountable, where? How? Him admitting he cheated is not accountability!! He keeps blaming her for why he cheated! Bye

[@ForMySoulSistas]

I love how he admitted that he wasn't respecting the vows but following his feelings when it got hard. I also appreciate the fact that he was given an opportunity to say his side without being judged.

[@mari.n.w155]

The older i get the more i understand that failed relationships is just two wounded people who want to love one another but dont know how and wound each other instead. This was interesting.

[@ry2yb]

So true. We needed relationship education, to learn how to love a partner.

[@CocoChanelle-1]

It’s not that black and white. Many relationships are one-sided. You’ll have one person that is putting their whole heart into the relationship and another person that’s cheating and Pretending to be loyal to the relationship. The reality is some men want a wife and a side chick.

[@michaelaklapilova9428]

Hurt or not you KNOW what's bad. You sure know cheating is bad you know beating your partner is bad in the exactly same way. You know that's not loving to anyone

[@nikeyawashington4332]

Yup

[@tblakeney-oh6zp]

I have learned so much from this episode. Truly in order to have a healthy marriage, you must be a healthy individual.

[@TGipson25]

Unhealed trauma leads to more trauma. I pray for healing for them both as we all deserve healthy love as God intends. I hear him say alot about providing financially. I pray he understands providing for a woman first starts with providing for and taking care of her heart as that is the root of a woman. If you don't care for it properly the rest won't matter in the end. Pray for them both as we all have been given grace that we didn't deserve at some point in our lives but God loves ALL his children and wants us all to be saved and not perish. 🙏🏽

[@nikkyshamz2696]

I agree, I also wanted to add that if he had known abt the s.assaults she had experienced early on it might have informed the way he handled her and helped him understood what he thought were rejection from her that it wasnt personal. They say hindsight is 20 20. Honesty from jump will always help us all. Peace and blessings to all. We live and learn.

[@ElizabethSotiria]

Personally I feel like his advice is more valid/real than ever, purely because he’s done it all.. he has that insight and knows how men move fr. Say what you want, I never followed that man for his personal life lol, he helped me leave a very toxic and emotionally abusive relationship that almost destroyed me. I am one of thousands of women he was a lifeline for, his words were empowerment. ✌🏽

[@nnena3631]

This was a long charismatic way of saying it wasnt really my fault, I had a bad wife. The lies, manipulative speech, pr training, were STRONG in this one. This is how smooth talkers get over everyday...smh

[@Carmen-D-Clinton]

😅THIS IS AN INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE 🧛‍♂️

[@yalondakilgore907]

🎯🎯🎯

[@deeteespiritsoul5890]

You are so right

[@2020sweelew]

I wonder how bold one would be to peel back the layers of their perfect world. Pain has no room for grace…. That same grace we needed or…. That’s GONNA BE NEEDED…. because we are all humans….wheeew chi

[@deeteespiritsoul5890]

Exactly!!

[@RoseGold79]

This interview was essential. A song by Whitney Houston sang it best: "Hearts are often broken, when there are words unspoken." Much of the growth that came from the pain Derrick and DaNaia (sp) caused one another could have been avoided if they had just had the HARD CONVERSATIONS. The hard conversations are what makes relationships thrive and not just survive. Hopefully, they can co-parent in a way that shows their children an abundance of love and gives them a stable foundation.

[@nassieambe1277]

“There is no connection to a woman’s looks and a man’s integrity”. Very true .

[@Tre-d8w]

Two good people do not always create one good couple. My heart goes out to both of them. I believe they both told their truth here. This is so sad and too common for our society. I pray that God heals their hearts and we avoid making their mistake as a benefit of this couple's brutally raw transparency.

[@krystalutubor]

Great episode! Both sides were needed. The gifts and callings of God are given without repentance. No one can take the anointing off someone’s life. He was brave for coming on, praying for restoration and peace for all parties involved.

[@marshellewilson4377]

What men/women don’t realize that the longer they deal with multiple individuals at same time the harder the pattern/habit will be to stop. Getting married does not stop this pattern/habit. When your happiness or lack of causes you to cheat or to step out is lack of self control and discipline so until that been dealt with it will happen again in new relationships or marriages.

[@ladonnaspencer340]

No one else could have handled both interviews with such grace and care as you Laterras.. #amazing

[@monicasoyombo3360]

You know what? I really appreciate the comments here, on today. I personally really struggled through Part 1 ... I will say this, watching this podcast has been instrumental in sharpening my discernment. And for THAT I am most greatful.🙏🏾

[@misslatonya35]

I get your comments...

[@asiamonae4483]

I appreciate seeing both sides of their story LT you did an amazing job at conducting both these 2 interviews. Loved this. I respect both sides.

[@whit9560]

My thing is he was never all the way vested, because he had to many encounters with other women through the cheating through out the whole relationship before and after the marriage, and it absolutely broke there relationship. she never could trust him or feel safe and sadly she loved him more than herself. He broke her down bit by bit. He never should have married . The whole situation was a whole HOT MESS !!! He has a SERIOUS PROBLEM, he is defiantly a serial cheater !!! He needs some serious healing and self reflection. and she needs some serious help also, like real bad

[@jennyakakwnwnwnww]

Agreed! This is so sad & heartbreaking

[@cynthiamay512]

Did you watch the entire two episodes?

[@verytangi9572]

This makes them both incredibly Human. Serious problems, hot mess not ready for things we jump into thinking we are, being 100% wrong while trying to look right=Human, us.

[@nnena3631]

EXACTLY and he ne er seemed to show true remorse in word or action you repeatedly cheat but feel rejected and neglected bc your wife dosent want to be affectionate and sexual while you're hurting her so you catch an attitude go and cheat some more foaemt sound like really wanting to work on things to me

[@creating1_c1999]

Neither was she. Her energy was stuck in the trauma of those two rapes. People with sexual trauma are extremely narcissistic and controlling. She had a choice to not be with him but the journey of their life is what brought them both to a place of individual accountability to their own individual childhoods and the trauma they incurred.