How Mama Trauma Affects Black Men: Kojo Ampadu Shares His Story | Dear Future Wifey Ep708

[@tomaradoss3420]

If Keep it real was a person!!! It’s KoJo. He stand on what he feel wrong or right! I respect that!

[@LoveDeeWilliams]

Yess, he spoke my mind in this entire interview.

[@t7cooley420]

And he spoke so eloquently with his truth. Some of his views/wounds that I have heard on his podcast that I questioned previously as it relates to Christianity and the Word of God makes so much more sense now that I have heard his story of "mama trauma". What is really impressive is he knows, admits and can trace back to where it all starts it's just a matter of doing the hard part/work of truly healing... talk about tough topics! Wow. I'll subscribe, I guess. 😉

[@charlottef7650]

Man!!! This may be the realest to meet the yellow couch.

[@JUST_MORELLA]

You hit the nail on the head😅😂❤

[@ttatum7101]

This is pretty awesome! This is why I say this Podcast is a blessing. Some of us do not have to go down certain roads, once you’ve hear who travelled, you stand clear, or you get some sense of direction towards healing.

[@adriannahp1833]

This is such a tough topic. My ex-husband was paranoid schizophrenic before committing suicide and it was some of the worst months my children and I experienced. 3 years post death, we are still navigating those feelings. Thank you Laterreas, for providing a safe space for these tough conversations to happen that are generally taboo in our communities.

[@DearFutureWifey]

My heart goes out to you and your children.

[@Shenieta]

❤❤❤❤

[@adriannahp1833]

​@DearFutureWifey thank you sincerely

[@breajihan02]

🙏🙏🙏

[@angeladarby6365]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying comfort and healing for you and your children.

[@BreenyLee]

My boys ❤ One thing Kojo is going to give you is self awareness and transparency. A beautiful and relatable watch, a much needed conversation 🙏🏾🤍

[@joycealliu]

I second that. 💯👌🏾So needed.🙏🏽💕

[@wanjikukariuki285]

Not only does Latteras interview his guests, but he also ministers to them ❤ Thank you Kojo for your transparency in your healing journey ❤️‍🩹

[@MsKibibeBailey]

Two of my two favourite black male KZbinrs sitting together!!! Wowwwww!! KoJo, I'm soooo proud of you 🎉❤

[@supermodeljaz6829]

SAME!!!

[@beckysr2196]

I agree

[@barbaraclement9843]

Awesome interview. Great content and insightful for what I expecting currently

[@mojustmakesense3696]

His self awareness shows his level of professionalism when it comes to his perspective on others.

[@patricebrown777]

My sentiments exactly !! ❤

[@truluv4ver241]

Two things: 1) Congratulations Kojo. Let's gooo! 2) This was a difficult one & more common than many know..😢thanks Kojo

[@jblake9317]

Come on now my boy Kojo in the US sitting on the yellow sofa! Stay hydrated, so proud of you!

[@PeaceBeStill-]

It's so rare to see such eloquence, transparency, and discernment all in the same interview. Way to go guys! ❤❤❤

[@mrsn1025]

I truly NEEDED this episode! My mom is bipolar and it's a daily challenge. Not many people understand how much Grace you have to extend and how the enemy tries to attack you through your experiences with them!

[@YM-fn2ts]

I appreciate this topic and Kojo's transparency. No one thinks about the turmoil children go through when dealing with a parent's MH. Detachment, Hyperindependence, and the KILL SWITCH are real. He was so relatable in how he has protected himself throughout childhood and still dealing with the remnants well into adulthood. It's not pretty but it's a coping mechanism he learned as a child. Pray for us. You are not alone.

[@aboachie1]

Kojo, as a Ghanaian-American I think you sharing what has been going on with your mom is so important. Our culture is so hush about mental health.

[@LittleBlackBook91]

much appreciation honestly

[@debbie-ama9291]

So proud of you Kojo... sharing this story is so liberating, especially in the Black British Ghana community. Mental Health is strongly demonized in Ghana and so sharing this story brings so much light and vulnerability!!!.... Sharing your experience and how it impacted your relationships is warming and a necessary conversation!!!! WELL DONE KOJO dancing king 👑 God bless you

[@nicolebolston4906]

This is the realest person I have ever seen interviewed!! This man is so honest with his inner soul to it’s scary to know that it’s men out here that’s dating and we as women are trying to “fix them”…! Sooo honest of a person!! Respect!!! Nothing but RESPECT!! Ladies…”the kill switch” is realllllll

[@Elcapz1]

Met Kojo in Birmingham (UK) this weekend at Boxout Fest and hes such a great brother. Wishing him all the best in life

[@CookWithStephh]

I always thought I was weird and my family was different. It’s always hard opening up to people about my family because not a lot of people can relate. This comment section shows me it’s a lot of families that also deal with schizophrenia. I grew up with a schizophrenic brother, so much trauma in the home that I thought was normal until I got around other families. My mom isn’t diagnosed but I’m almost positive she has something. I myself got bipolar but I feel like once I get away from my family my life will change drastically. Sometimes it’s our environment.

[@CookWithStephh]

@@l.t.3857 I heard this saying before “you cannot heal / grow in the same environment that made you sick” your sister sounds like me. Every time I’m away from my mom I feel normal. I can think I feel good etc. soon as she walks in the room I can physically feel my breathing get short and my anxiety goes up a lot. I can’t think In the same room as her. She is also in extreme denial. After 32 years I realized I hindered my own life by sticking around my mother. I live in Florida and I’m planning to relocate to a whole new state next year and start a new life away from my mother. I have a 5 year old boy and I refuse to let the generational curse affect him like it did me. My best advice to your sister would be to move away. Leave her home. It doesn’t get better with a mother like that. They literally drown and suffocate those around them. And I would also say don’t let that affect you having a relationship with your nieces and nephews, once they old enough they will see the truth. Kids always know. It’s hard to help people with mental illness because they don’t realize how bad they are alot of times.

[@kyrianjoseph1403]

There are a lot of families with issues, some people just act like their families are perfect!

[@kyrianjoseph1403]

@@CookWithStephhOMG! This is me right now! This lady will never stand up for me.I’m beginning to resent her.

[@CookWithStephh]

@@kyrianjoseph1403 yea I completely understand. That’s why I had to start praying and making plans to leave. I don’t want to hate my mother. The longer I stay around her the more I resent her then I feel bad for her at the same time. Because she went through so much. I know that feeling of not being stood up for. What’s even worse is how they manipulate everyone around them to not stand up for u neither smh. Then once I started standing up for myself I became the bad guy. Sis just trust God and pray pray pray. Make plans as you go along and pray about your plans so u can go in the right direction. Resentment builds up over time and makes us bitter and angry. But you must get away but don’t stop loving her. She was fighting demons long before she gave birth to you. It’s time for God to handle it but u sis cannot stay and drown in her negativity

[@meekwalker8723]

wow such a powerful story you have. What are some of the things or symptoms your mother have? I'm curious because I used to feel the same way towards and about my mother before she passed.@@CookWithStephh

[@SimplyKea]

My guy Chile 🥳🥳🥳. I am so happy to see Kojo. For the longest time, I could not understand why I could not freely love my mom. She was not mentally ill but we did not have any form of connection. And the way Kojo put it, makes so much sense to me. It just brought a lot of language. I have always loved how honest Kojo is. Everytime I watch him I have an understanding of our male counter parts. Today I know staff about him that I did not know. Thank you Dear Future Wifey for bringing my guy Kojo. This has started my own journey of healing with my mom. I am going to do this 🙋🏽‍♀️

[@LoveDeeWilliams]

This is one of the best interviews you ever did. This explains the men Not wanting to commit. They literally Can't Committ, they don't have the capacity to commit or communicate their childhood trauma.

[@droosyg252]

There are some who just don’t want to

[@candacenkoth]

Kojo, you blessed so many people by opening up the way you did. You are going places, so happy to see you expand your platform, good job! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@ChristinaDenae]

He's going to have a Powerful Testimony when he truly surrenders all to The Most High at the Throne of Grace! Love to see the brothers open up and genuinely express themselves! Great interview!

[@carmenmsimmonssimmons2405]

This episode really blessed me. I've been married 35 years to a wonderful man. He brought the absolute best out in me. However, he has suffered with mental illness since coming from Desert Storm and the Parisan Gulf War in the military. I seen myself and some of the same behaviors that this man has. Keep up the good fight young king. God has a queen that will be able to stand strong by your side.

[@JulzMuya]

He's done a great job expressing how co-dependancy is selfish. Ultimately, they are helping broken people because they want to take all the credit for who they become. It's the savior complex. Its important that we heal the wounds that drive us to dysfunctional behavior in relationships. Kudos for your self awareness.

[@SummerTyme2023]

Kojo doesnt know how much I needed to hear this. Been sub to him from the very beginning. Extremely proud of him

[@mariemuhammad7983]

My mom passed a month ago. I had to reconcile and forgive her many years ago when I had to fight the same battles she did as a forsaken wife. This brought a lot of emotional instability in my life as a child. It was in those moments that I was able to understand her struggle and forgive her as I walked through these struggles in my then marriage. I loved my mom and God healed our relationship many years ago. I’m glad she is not suffering anymore. My dad however was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was a young child. His way of handling situations brought a tremendous amount of fear in my life but it never has caused me to be so afraid that I can’t love. The word says perfect love cast out all fear. When I am fearful in my relationships I go back to God and allow him to comfort me to quiet my soul. These were all motivations for me to want to break these curses so my children and generations to come can be free.

[@Raray200]

Powerful word right here: "When I am fearful in my relationships I go back to God and allow him to comfort me to quiet my soul." These were all motivations for me to want to break these curses so my children and generations to come can be free.

[@SyvilleJosephine]

I've never seen a man (let alone 2) have a conversation about crying. That was refreshing and so adorable! 😇❤

[@suhweetee]

I wish y’all could see how beautiful the vulnerability from BOTH of you really are in a woman’s eyes. (mine specifically) This is incredibly beautiful, especially as a mama to a little boy. So many gems & so much wisdom and accountability. I L🫶🏽VE this! 🥺🥹

[@DearFutureWifey]

Praise God

[@Jovialjay86]

THIS!!!

[@suhweetee]

Never want my children to have to heal from my trauma which I passed down instead of healed from, but I understand some unconnected pieces bring God the glory at the end and that’s His plan. So this taught me so much. So proud of both of you men! I had to watch it again 🌹

[@soblessed6510]

I'm only halfway through and this has already changed my life. My mom was a paranoid schizophrenic and homeless. She didnt get treated and i had to have her committed. I prayed for God to take her because i couldnt watch her suffer anymore. She loved Jesus and I felt like, Wow. God, she walks with you and you're making her suffer like this. I wish I could fully disconnect. I thought I wouldn't fall apart when she died but I did. The guilt didn't die with her, it resurrected and came back full force after. All I could think of is how I abandoned her. Anyway, now I understand why I can so easily cut people out of my life or why I blanked out speaking to her before she died. "Kill switch" .... perfectly said. Thats exactly what it is. Of all the episodes, this one was the most meaningful, life-changing to me. Thank you.

[@LittleBlackBook91]

Thank you for being transparent and honesty. Uve helped me too

[@angeleyes3386]

Your prayer is valid, even if some people don’t understand or judge. I’ve tottered between that prayer and a fierce desire to save her before it’s too late. I don’t know where I stand right now honestly (We’ve tried everything) RN I have to disconnect and give it to God. I try to be loving in her presence and not worry about it outside her presence. That’s the best way I can survive. Thanks for sharing Kojo and OP. You are not alone.

[@cb4664]

God bless you sweetheart. Understand this: you did the best you could at the time. Forgive yourself. Your mother’s illness was not your fault. It just was. But your life as an adult is yours. Now YOU get to choose how you life is lived going forward.

[@cb4664]

@@angeleyes3386and you need to survive. That instinct to survive is there for a reason. God has a plan for YOU.

[@untangled2066]

I so felt this, my mom died unexpectedly last month. She suffered for so long but these feelings of grief have layers of complexity that come in waves I can’t even put into words.

[@kayfleming5180]

KoJo sounds just like the old me & my abandonment issues from an absentee father. I would cut men off as soon as I felt any angst, confusion, detachment, or disagreement. I did so all through my early 20s. Getting married at 28 forced me to face my childhood wounds. I pushed my ex away from fear. After our divorce, I headed straight to therapy. Best decision ever! I feel it’ll be wise for KoJo to seek therapy, if he wants a healthy marriage. Very insightful episode.

[@esmitty-7777]

When I saw the title and intro to this video I immediately clicked the play button!!! My mother also suffers from multiple mental illnesses and I can relate. The guilt, the anger, the shame, and processing it all, etc. I’m the oldest of 4 and wrote a book about my journey. Kudos to these two men bringing awareness and safety around this sensitive topic.

[@moniecemorgan0322]

Kojo I swear I feel that disconnect you speak of and how it would be more of a relief upon your mother passing. Only difference is my disconnect is pertaining to my son that suffers with mental illness. Unless people have had to deal with it on that level they will never understand it. I have thought many times I think it would be easier not seeing him suffer the way he does. It's truly disheartening watching them struggle in this life. Peace and blessing to you.💛

[@LittleBlackBook91]

omd i never really thoughht about it from that perspective...id love to hear your story. Dm me on insta. Il listen...cause i never thought about thhis perspective

[@talkwithmeladye]

I could cry watching this, I’m going through the same thing with my dad. I have never heard anyone explain this the way you have. Thank you so much for this 🥹. I have had to work on my emotions over the last 7 years and I am still working on it now. I totally understand where Kojo is coming from. But honestly bro it’s time for your healing ❤️‍🩹 and forgiveness because this will be connected to what God has for you “your wife”. Thank you 🙏🏾

[@VanessaParnell-p9d]

Hands down I can truly relate to this guy emotionally. For me hands down one of my top 5 best shows.

[@mariemuhammad7983]

This was such a great candid interview. Kojo is definitely on his road to recovery because he is so self aware. He was careful to cover his parents relationship when he spoke of forgiveness being the solution to his moms instability. But here in Matthew 18:34-35, Jesus refers to tormentors. He is saying the one who refuses to forgive, the Christian who harbors grudges, bitter feelings toward another, will be turned over to torturous thoughts, feelings of misery, and agonizing unrest within. My ex-late husband was committing adultery. The more he did, the more unstable I became mentally. The Lord let me know if I didn’t forgive him, he was going to turn me over to the tormentors. So many are battling mentally and unforgiveness is a root cause. We must forgive if we want Christ to heal and forgive us. I was able to be healed once I forgave him.

[@helenmckenzie5295]

Kojo was the first person I ever seen you interviewed that was so very real🙏 His honesty was boarding on painful. Thanks you for showing us the viewers that men can be vulnerable this topic pulled at my heart ❤️ strings,mothers and fathers have to listen to their children more, We have to remember the silence between the notes 🎶 makes the loudest sound 🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹🙏

[@CammUnoUno]

Lissen, I came over here and I was distracted by the contradiction in the size of KoJo’s thighs and the size of his shorts BUT as I listened…I know this conversation was meant for me. My biological mother was paranoid schizophrenic. I completely understand how KoJo feels. It is a very complex thing to be in relationship with a parent who is out of control. It disrupts the natural need you have for safety and comfort with someone who you rely on to take care of you. As a child, when your trust and safety is compromised it does breed a coldness and a harsh realness about life. It took years of work, and I still work at it to stay in my heart and in my body when I feel wronged. Thank y’all for this very real and transparent conversation.

[@cb4664]

You go girl. I have done the same. It gets easier.

[@drekathigpen4869]

It’s amazing to me how ppl sell that “men are simple” as if they aren’t human beings who’ve also been hurt and traumatized. We are all complex beings on a journey and this interview proves that. Kudos to you for sharing and your self awareness. What you choose to do with that awareness and understanding is a work between you and God. Prayerfully you continue healing and will one day use your calling in a capacity that frees others. The door is open now.

[@nishashawn2021]

They are very complex. Even more so than women. However , men will try to over simplify their pain and trauma.

[@drekathigpen4869]

@@nishashawn2021 or worst project it onto others. Everyone’s the problem but them. So I commend Kojo for at least being self aware of how he contributes to the pattern in his relationships with others on all levels

[@lisacox3750]

To be fair, most people raise their sons to not be attuned to their emotions…then people wonder why some are emotionally disconnected as boyfriends and husbands. Boys should be raised the same as girls in this way - people need to understand boys have the same emotions as girls and stop asking them.m to suppress it.

[@JD-bo8dp]

Y’all sounds foolish. You didn’t think a man would see this nonsense. Women are way more complicated and difficult to understand. The nerve of yall😂

[@siobhansaunders2209]

This was one of the most authentic interviews ever. Kojo released everything he felt, gone thru and going thru and it was beautifully done. Some things may have seem harsh, but that is he's truth and his reality. The BEST part is, he is fully aware of all parts of him that needs to be healed. This was a STRONG and much NEEDED interview. 💖

[@latricenarcisse5426]

Having a mother diagnosed with bipolar and having to deal with her mental breakdowns and episodes since 14 & now being 44. I TOTALLY understand him and can relate. It’s exhausting & a very difficult life matter to navigate.

[@droosyg252]

Thanks for writing “diagnosed with bipolar” as opposed to labeling her as bipolar.

[@Kari_Michele]

@@droosyg252 Exactly, thank you 💜🙏🏾

[@none8726]

Kojo spoke his truth which MANY can relate to but are too scared to speak or unaware. Thank you Kojo for being vulnerable!!!

[@mojustmakesense3696]

A new level of respect he gets from me.

[@taurus43lady21]

This has been one of the best episodes of the podcast. Things like this really need to be talked about.

[@leslieralston5461]

I have nothing but respect for Kojo. He told is truth and is standing flat footed in that thang. On the flip side I’m also praying that God heal him and restore him so that he is free to love without inhibitions. Great episode Laterras. I look forward to meeting you on Sunday. Blessings.

[@Jovialjay86]

40 mins in. My heart breaks for you kojo. I appreciate your transparency and self awareness. It's raw but real and I respect you even more.

[@Mindful3700]

His Honesty and Self-Awareness is so Commendable, Blessings and Healing to Kojo ❤️

[@itsallgood2206]

Kojo really opened my eyes as to why I’m so disconnected from my mom. She didn’t have mental illness that I’m aware of but her mothering style pushed my away as a child/teen and now I have no desire to engage with her. I am totally disconnected and feel the same about not wanting to help if need be. I’m just, numb. But it was encouraging to hear someone break this down in the way that he did. I didn’t realize until now that I’m not alone in how I feel and I’m able to kinda pinpoint why I feel what I feel.💡

[@Christimony222]

Wow. Your comment is my thoughts. Same. Wow.

[@LoveReece1]

You just described my relationship with my Mother. I love her because I am supposed too, but we have no bond or connection. The kind of person I am, I cannot be fake. I am an organic person and things have to flow.

[@shavonhampton3535]

I have been on the receiving end of someone being unable to allow themselves to love & be loved due to “mama trauma.” It’s inhumane to have to fight for the expression of love. So I fully understand what Kojo is talking about. I applaud him for having enough emotional intelligence & maturity to self reflect & admit his issues. I love how Kojo process information. Brilliant mind Kojo! Brilliant mind! This is soo real! Soo deep! Soo honest! Soo vulnerable! Soo relatable! Soo many nuggets here!

[@Dr.KishKim4ChristJesus]

I like that he is honest, transparent, and vulnerable. People will get free from hearing this but please follow God, running will only delay the call and those waiting for you to get in position. There are people assigned to your destiny. You won't regret it but it will be hard at points. God bless you both for this great interview.

[@exquisitejewelrikkei2957]

This guy is so unapologetically honest and raw. I love this! I have related to a few things he’s said. I appreciate the honesty. I have to say he’s caused me to giggle a few times.

[@ashleyfranklin4708]

I SO empathize with this man. Mama trauma is no joke. I understand his strong level of independence, his repulsion at the thought of someone depending & clinging to him. I understand his feeling like he would not be very affected when his mom does pass. I feel like my mother wounds affected me more than my father wound, but I can’t say for sure. The level of independence that a person learns when you have parents that just don’t get the job done is out of this world. And I weep at how much of an effect the relationship we have with our parents, their parenting style & our attachment style, has on our relationship with God. How we connect with Him & our ability to trust & depend on Him rests on these parental relationships. And if you’re brave enough, it is a very difficult & painful unlearning & relearning process. Do the work Kojo. You can cross over. If I can do it, you can do it. 💪🏽

[@yemio1005]

This was very brave of Kojo to share. I think childhood trauma therapy would be really beneficial for him to navigate his trauma. It’s not for the faint of heart, but the healing is amazing. If he is willing to do the work to heal those wounds I think it will help him in relationships.

[@glamazini]

1. He may have been saying, "I don't need you." to his mother & dating broken women to save his mom and repair his childhood by proxy. 2. I love that he said Paracetamol; we don't use that in the US, we use Tylenol. 3. This episode could have been called "Mama and Papa Trauma" cause he has it from both sides. 4. I have experienced a man like this in a relationship. Even with all his self-insight, and desire to be Christlike, it. is. active. hell. I pray he works on healing and not just knowing. 5. People like this who have false strength (he said it), are actually not strong at all. They are super sensitive, more so than people who can be vulnerable, and they don't trust themselves to handle difficult emotional scenarios so they choose the facade/wall and stay disconnected. It is sad, and it is so common. 6. Relationships are complex and challenging. Blessings on this complex journey.

[@LittleBlackBook91]

Absolute bars. On point

[@Raray200]

5. People like this who have false strength (he said it), are actually not strong at all. They are super sensitive, more so than people who can be vulnerable, and they don't trust themselves to handle difficult emotional scenarios so they choose the facade/wall and stay - Exactly- God immediately said he is weak in my spirit. I felt really uneasy with his lack of accountability and pride. You were very wise on every point!

[@lenieceawilliams2243]

Do you think one learns how to love from their environment?

[@ladymaefire]

And the longer he puts off unpacking , it’s the messier it will be .. my heart truly breaks for him.

[@lenieceawilliams2243]

He did say that, most of the women were broken and he was the Captain with the cape to help and once he feels he’s losing control HE’s out! The “mother” does shape and will have MOST influence on how a young boy growing into manhood. That’s it and that’s all….. I’ve seen it in all three of my brothers!

[@ciaramer931]

After watching the video with Derrick Jaxson, this one was a breath of fresh air. This man is aware and HONEST not a snake. He’s not going around marrying women or dating women and he’s not ready. I pray he reconcile his relationship with his parents and his shame with his moms mental issues to potentially find his wife soon.

[@llink265]

This is such a real topic for so many people growing up in households where mental illness affects family, and it can become their norm, what they know when it comes to establishing relationships.

[@robynharrison7631]

Kojo, you have to believe that God is big enough and strong enough to hold you down when you go through your healing. He’s GOT you! Let go of the trauma- you won’t truly be free until you do 🙏🏽

[@AndreaSylve]

Beautiful reflection of what self-awareness and honesty look like. Praying his relationship with mom is restored. It's the key to eliminating the kill switch and freeing to love fully.

[@vonniemac]

This episode should have been named Mama Trauma and Daddy Issues. Powerful episode and I'm sure a lot of people got a lot from it

[@theplantninja-texasgardener]

Really impressed by this young man’s self awareness. I have a wonderful friend who grew up with a schizophrenic mother and I learned a lot listening to this conversation. Appreciate the transparency. It helps the rest of us feel less alone in our struggles. I subscribed…no shacking-up here😝

[@YoYo16_19]

Learning to shut off emotions begins early in life. Babies/children learn who, when, and how their physical and emotional needs may or may not be met. The consequences of our unmet needs results in the varying attachment styles as children and adults.

[@fshepherd8149]

What a powerful episode! I can relate to Kojo on several levels. I'm the eldest of four with a mother who struggled with mental illness throughout a great portion of my childhood and still does to this day. The impact is real! Further, Kojo's transparency is uncanny and very refreshing. On another note I so appreciate how Laterras is a lifter of other people and how he gives shine to them and requests that others assist him in that effort! When we water others we too will be watered (Proverbs 11:25). Blessings to you!

[@tha161]

This episode really hit home and helped me understand a lot of my life and decisions and how I have moved through life... I definitely don't have the emotional attachments to individuals both family and friends and it's definitely from my upbringing and childhood trauma...I don't throw people away, but I definitely don't nurture relationships.

[@Haychhx]

WELL DONE KOJO, YOUR LEVEL OF HONESTY IS COMMENDABLE! You have recognized where you are and that is the start of your healing, I pray you find the utmost strength to see the journey to the end ❤

[@delilah9464]

This is one of the MOST honest conversations I’ve heard in an a while!!!! Can definitely relate. Another great interview Laterras!!!!! Thank you for rolling these interviews out! God bless you❤️

[@favmonkey]

l have followed Kojo on his KZbin channel and this was the most vulnerable l have seen him. lt was a great interview and insight into what mental illness by a parent has on a child from a male christian perspective which l personally have not heard. The interviewer showed sensitivity and the questions were very intuitive. l learned alot about marriage through a christian lense which gave me things to think about and 🙏🏾 on.

[@trishjerome8531]

As a fellow UK citizen, very proud of you for this one KoKo, soo much wisdom and insight into navigating and dealing with struggles as a Christian. 🙏🏾

[@LittleBlackBook91]

daaaaaayummmm those daddy shorts need some mommy length hahha. this finna be deep

[@jmelanierenee]

Thank you for sharing this and being open and vulnerable here 💕

[@veen0610]

Lol too funny!!

[@theosymommy]

This is going to be good. I am excited to hear what is about to be said 😀

[@candacenkoth]

Ha ha it's always fascinating to see you experiment with fashion. You go Kojo, take over the world ! 😁

[@ericagory2424]

Kojo you're thicker than a snicker! Who knew ....lol

[@TheBenitaAngela]

I relate sooo heavy Kojo . My mom was schizophrenic my whole life, but for my big brother, he probably understands your experience even more because she didn’t have her first episode until he was a little older. This has me looking at my brother’s experience, especially that in relationships & masculinity even more. Nonetheless, I didn’t know we had this shared experience cause, it’s DEFINITELY something that only a few people can relate to. Especially Black mamas with schizophrenia/schizop-effective disorders. Thank you for sharing your story Koj

[@terrabrown2188]

Omg Laterras…you have done it AGAIN!! All in my business! I too grew up with a mentally ill parent..and everything Kojo is saying is SO real. I too have the “kill switch”, even though I so desperately want to have a meaningful relationship where I am truly loved and valued. But my trauma from my childhood gets in the way…if she couldn’t love me right, how would anyone else?? Keep doin these hard topics, because they are everything!!! I have already listened to this episode 3 times and listening again to catch all the gems in this episode!! Keep up the great work and THANK YOU!!!

[@shavongarrett2525]

This interview was so profound for me. I am a 50 year old woman and I've always been so prideful and if is very hard for me to ask for help. I will suffer in silence and if I do ask it has only been from my mother or brother, but I have to really, really need it. I also realized from this episode that I also need words of affirmations, mainly from the closest people to me. Others outside from those closest to me giving me affirmations make me feel good, but getting them from the people closest to me really mean the most to. I did not realize where these things came from. Thank you for continuing to bless my life with relatable people who helping me grow.

[@jmbenjamin38]

I love Kojo and appreciate his transparency in this interview.

[@beverlysanders1462]

T his was an amazing interview! The guest was insightful and self aware which is rare man or woman. I can appreciate him acknowledging where he stands. I pray that he finds his place in ministry to continue what God has already begun in him. The vulnerability was unmatched. Loved it!

[@tachiadace8156]

Thank you for bringing this brother on the podcast Laterras. Kojo has helped me understand my son and his frequent use of his kill switch. I thought I was listening to my son speak. I'm not mentally ill, and he has a 2 parent home, but I know his dad has caused a lot of childhood trauma that has fashioned his way of thinking. I wasn't emotionally there at times for him, but today we are very close. We talk about how he moves through life and I admit not being the mom he deserved, because of what we were going through in our marriage. I never quite understood until today his reasoning as a young adult, for delaying his life in finding a committed relationship. I pray he will be healed completely from his trauma, so he will walk into the man God designed him to be and not stay in what we created. Thank you Kojo Ampadu for being so honest❤ I wish he could meet either of you to just have a conversation on this topic❣️🙏🏾

[@jblake9317]

Reach out to kojo I’m sure he love to talk to your son. 🙏🏽

[@msrhonda]

I commend the transparency…Kojo is gifted and a natural therapist and I pray he gets totally healed to move forward in his calling 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@SavySavannah.]

The level of self awareness in him is REAL! This was a really good interview… and shout out to KoJo for the transparency, because that isn’t always easy.

[@cotheiadavia5455]

I just want to say thank you Kojo for your vulnerability/transparency it is so refreshing.

[@The11thchapter]

Their conversation flowed so flawlessly. Transparency was on point. One thing Kojo has down packed is emotional intelligence, what's debilitated is his emotional bravery. It seems his fear of embarrassment followed by rejection is at the core of it all. The fear of being review as inadequate. Even the trigger he speaks of in relationships. Is probably less about a fear of attachment and responsibility but more so a fear of not keeping the standard set ( reputation). To subdue the real fear that creeps in. It's easier to emotionally cope with being remembered as t"he one who got way", so to say, than someone who didn't live up to expectations. This part was interesting 51:36 My opinion would be, it's not a matter of being independent or discomfort from a lack of control. Being given the advice, triggers a insecurity that his father, or perhaps even others, don't believe he's capable or lack what it takes to find the answer on his own. Being underestimated. 1:08:19 Having a parent with mental health illness, or even substance abuse etc, or simply parents who we feel didn't make good lives for themselves. subconsciously, unconsciously there's a fear, we as the offspring with end up just like our parents. The Black church unfortunately, don't help matters with the constant meantion of "generational cures". Although I'm sure his mom's illness can be emotionally and psychologically draining on him. The avoidance of his parents, in particular his mother. Could possibly be him not confronting a fear of being just like his parents. We all have to confront our fears, to put it plan. If embarrassment is the fear, set yourself up to be embarrassed. If rejection is the fear, set yourself up to be rejected. If confronting the memories that comes from seeing his mom is the fear, see your mom as much as possible. If telling your dad you love him, and him not saying it back is the fear, do it anyway. God is so good, he gave Kojo the knowledge and interest in the human psyche, emotional intelligence, human social behavior. How perfect, such a blessings to have, to be perfectly equipped to be a great son for a mother and father who have the challenges they have. No mystery why God saw fit for him to be the eldest child, as well. Not only to be capable of improving the lives of strangers but those he love, that's gift. All thats needed is that extra bravery to do so.

[@LittleBlackBook91]

WOW what a read....babaaay i felt i was on your couch.. Accurate 1000

[@The11thchapter]

@@LittleBlackBook91 😊 Be brave, (not telling you what to do, only encouraging you lol).

[@fechina1]

Wow, he is definitely transparent,but it sounds like narcissistic behavior to me..and it seemed that his father actually coached it into existence.

[@fechina1]

Narcissistic can be self aware, but, they still choose their views at the end..and they are broken people.

[@Raray200]

Excellent insight, I love your unbiased approach to see the picture as a whole. Confront your fears! My question is, what is preventing him from doing so? Is it fear or is it another headwind (such as pride or ego) most likely both, as TD Jakes would say. Great review!

[@lomi8967]

He literally took the word /expressions how I have felt my whole life !!! God is truly amazing!!! Dealing with a parent who has mental health issues is no joke !!

[@delilah9464]

Wow!!!! When he said your soul needs the deliverance!! Even if she’s dealing with her mental health!

[@nichellenunya]

Kojo THiCK!! 💪🏽👏🏽 great interview. Love to see them together

[@tracetess]

My Kojo here!! So excited for you 🎉. Many blessings to you and Laterreas. It’s good to hear your struggle dealing with a parent with paranoid schizophrenia. So brave of you. I can relate to you tremendously. My father suffers with the same illness. It’s a lot to deal with.

[@MzTiffK1]

Your absolutely right. Self Awareness can be a cage with so many people out here " walking dead". We need more of our BLACK MEN to have self awareness. As a mother of 4 black men. This is so essential.

[@danagrappie4942]

Watching this episode gave me clarity of myself. I’ve been on a journey to figure out why I am so disconnected especially to my emotions. This have given me such great insight, I keep a kill switch and emotionally can turn everything off and on so much so I get accused of acting like a man emotionally. Kojo’s vulnerability gave me inward microscopic clarity of self. I have greatly enjoyed this interview from a self reflection space. Thank you for always tackling the tough topics❤❤❤💯

[@Mrsme12345]

This was deep, no shallow water in this conversation. Wow God!

[@whitdevereaux1871]

What an important topic. My family has been greatly impacted by Schizophrenia. Thanks for sharing and having this conversation!

[@cb4664]

Same. But it can get better! Hang in there!

[@whitdevereaux1871]

​@@cb4664thank you! 🙏🏾

[@desireeford5573]

I really love how he articulates himself and he knows how to keep it real!!! I can respect him for it. Thanks Laterras, you did it again, Awesome Black Man! 😊

[@lenieceawilliams2243]

OMG...... Finally a "man" has shared the trauma young boys feel from our mother's mental health illness, life issues and mom NOT loving herself, so does she love the child ❤ my mom had four children and didn't know how to "love". Now, I've lost two brothers and I feel his pain.

[@asiac8505]

Yesss he do

[@jessicalagrange9452]

This was an amazing episode. The level of transparency that Kojo had on this episode was refreshing and so timely. I'm sure this will be healing for so many! Thank you Kojo and thank you Laterras! This season has been phenomenal! Wow just wow.

[@shilondawilliams3872]

I absolutely appreciate this interview. You two have touched on a couple of important and prevelant issues. We need to have more of these types of conversations. Thank you so much for the transparency!

[@DearFutureWifey]

Our pleasure!

[@_heyimbritt]

Great interview. Long time follower of Kojos channel and so happy to see him on here. That mother/father wound is really a trip! I can relate in many ways. 🙏🏾❤️

[@onlyfatuofficial9262]

Wowwwwwwwww, lost of words. Truly may God heal and Restore everyone heart that has gone through this.

[@angeladarby6365]

I needed to hear this. Managing emotional detachment and compartmentalization is real when you grow up with mental illness in your family and dysfunction. I’m being so ministered to! Praying for KOJO to be healed and connect in a healed way with his Mom. God never meant for us to Fix our ailing family members. ❤

[@1HauteDiva]

This was a great discussion! I love that Kojo and Laterras always keep it real!!!

[@tesler.6240]

DFW, this episode was heavy for me. There are a lot of Kojos walking these streets, simply broken and unhealed. I had to fast forward to the end of the podcast to hear you summarize your thoughts in your letter to your future wifey. The letter was exactly what I expected. You are, hands down, my favorite on KZbin. Good job!

[@mozellesilvers2663]

Yes, I agree LATERRAS letter said it all. It is the solution to Kojo problem. Giving mercy and grace to his parents. So glad that he wrote the letter at the end. By far Dear Future Wifey podcast is the best.

[@mariemuhammad7983]

I love when you two started sharing about the tears watching those movies. ❤❤. I remember when Nemo came out. I was in the middle of my separation and I wept like a baby the ENTIRE movie while God broke down that movie like my whole marriage. Marlon had to be willing to face his fears to cross the ocean to redeem Nemo. We have to be willing to face our fears to redeem our family legacies. Nemo represented his legacy. ❤

[@lady_better]

Such an necessary conversation was shared here. Thank You!!! the level of self awareness and his ability to reflect and be vulnerable is something growing men need to see more of.

[@SaraSmile70]

I spoke with a brother from my church Sunday. He shared some childhood trauma with me. All I was thinking is which DFW episode can I share with him?🤔 This is it! Keep doing GODs work Laterras! Wether I agree with the guest or not, I believe you hear from GOD and you are led by HOLYSPIRIT. Rocking with you till the end. 🙏🏾

[@abeverly2005]

This was a great episode. I date a man and he's never said it but I know his mother's struggles affected his he interacts with women. I had to distance myself because in some situations you will never give or be enough for a broken man or person rather, until they are aware and desire to change it. Working through trauma in therapy for all of us if soooi necessary. We react to things sometimes without knowing what it stemmed from in childhood and function as that inner child.

[@gabriellesmith4513]

Loved what Kojo shared as it relates to FORGIVESS. Its one of the most difficult things to do but so liberating. Otherwise we remain prisoners and captive to the offender. Jesus knew what HE was talking about when HE stated we must forgive. This is truly a key to our healing so that we can walk in freedom, healing and restoration as Christ has ordained.

[@shareenladd1048]

I pray some deep spiritual cleansing/healing will be his portion soon. I hope it works out for him and his family. Good episode

[@fchenry86]

Yes, Kojo! Love the transparency! Congratulations being on the Dear Future Wifey podcast 👏👏👏

[@marquita0310]

When women ask for honesty and transparency, THIS is what we mean!! Where are the men like him. Great interview!

[@lovefelix1566]

❤ Yes I second this! This is the blueprint 😢

[@tieshaanderson7167]

Omgoodness. I totally respect his honesty. I have a cousin (who I consider a sister) and a mom who has experienced the almost EXACT same situation. Everything he’s said (in regards to his feelings and how he was conditioned to move in life) , I’ve been able to identify in her. She listened to this as well and I’m praying it helps her realize the reason she does things/way she is so that she can not be fearful of moving into the healing stage. Thank you soooo much for this! Constantly tearing because I hurt for my cousin/sister (seeing her so hurt/damaged). God is so good and so on time….AAAAALLL OF THE TIME!!! ❤ Thank you again!

[@LatonyaSmith-p2k]

Kojo please do the work to heal. I remember being that woman that would sabotage good relationships and have I’m get you before you get me mentality. It’s so much peace in healing ❤️‍🩹 and deliverance. 🙏🏽🙌🏽