Designing the Mike Sparks of the Future

[@fightertales]

I am so glad I've gotten a better mic since we've recorded this

[@AnimarchyHistory]

We all need to do a sequel and build the worlds worst air force.

[@zefflin1451]

I'd love if you guys did a competition against each other where you'd all design the worst possible Tank/Plane (any type) /Ship and then compare them to see which one could be the best worst design ever.

[@erkripscorn]

​@@zefflin1451I'd buy that for a dollar! Seriously, that would be super entertaining!

[@TheEDFLegacy]

​@@AnimarchyHistoryThe Mike Sparks air force?

[@electricangel4488]

i am so glad you recorded this

[@YatzeeWillWearAGreenHat]

0:21 I can't believe that's the first time Lazerpig shoots lazers outside of thumbnails

[@ozAqVvhhNue]

The internet historian intro was amazing, but the lazers out of the pigs eyes was the crown on top of it :D

[@thefoolsjourney6885]

More like Einstein was the Mike Sparks of his time.

[@amusingmoose9924]

About time.

[@emielpeper9248]

Still hoping and occasionally praying for a LazerPig sit down with Mike Sparks, discussing things they agree on before getting to Sparks having to defend his insane designs

[@F4Wildcat]

and then blacktail enters the room and EVERYONE became uncomfortable!

[@jefferynelson]

I'm still hoping for a Lazer Pig shuffle dancing video

[@disgruntledtaco3640]

START THE GOFUNDME

[@killerflamingo9566]

I still wanna see laser pigs drag persona

[@ianduarte1992]

​@@F4Wildcathe must be wearing his likely unwashed, cumstained, piss smelling fursuit, and never acknowlege it.

[@massivepileup]

The Reformers seem like the WW1/2 generals who judged infantry rifles by their ability to hit a target at 800m.

[@samhansen9771]

​@@b.w.22In that case, I have a flying Gavin to sell you

[@b.w.22]

@@samhansen9771 ;)

[@MostlyPennyCat]

​@@b.w.22 And if you do need to switch to the plastic gun, there will be plenty of them lying on the ground...

[@noisepuppet]

I read that as "World War Half," which should be a thing

[@b.w.22]

@@noisepuppet - Perhaps WW-Half would be the Franco-Prussian War?

[@kevintoy7710]

When finished, this will be the best Space Marine vehicle ever.

[@judeblack4360]

Ah yes, the Sparks Razorback. They made a dozen before they realized that the techpriest who made it was actually an ork Mekboy covered in red paint, while the supposed STC was just a piece of cardboard covered in water stains that looked vaguely like a tank. The Mechanicus dumped all 12 Sparks Razorbacks onto the Marines Malevolent chapter in the hopes that it might take its passengers with it when it was destroyed. However, the tanks have led the Marines Malevolent to unprecedented victories, as the enemies of the God-Emperor suffer seizure-inducing fits of laughter when they lay eyes upon the infernal contraptions.

[@Haispawner]

​@@judeblack4360Just wait until we get the Chaos edition full of spikes and chains.

[@zenithstudio6819]

"We are the smartest people on the planet" not really hard if Mike sparks is the president 😂

[@Jartran72]

Sorry but that is now it works. Welther you like him or not, Donald Trump was the president in our timelime and dimension here and he is objectively not very smart. And that had no influence on weither lazerpig and other youtuber were the smartest people on earth. The presidents are usually not that smart and the smartest people have no ambition of becoming politicians, that would be a waste of their potential.

[@naamadossantossilva4736]

Joe Biden is president and he is as dumb as Sparky.

[@dodgedaytona7435]

You do know Woodrow Wilson was at one point right.

[@seaofenergy2765]

I mean Trump exists

[@maozedong9145]

@@dodgedaytona7435bro you must eat lead rocks for fun, they are incomparable.

[@Omegan01]

This is the design process for every Warhammer 40,000 vehicle.

[@p_serdiuk]

NOT ENOUGH CHURCHES

[@moekitsune]

The vehicle design is the reason I really dislike 40k. That and a lot of the fans are insufferable

[@Erakius323]

@@moekitsuneWhat’s wrong with the vehicle design? Edit: Took me 4 attempts to get the spelling for vehicle right. Jesus Christ. Spelling ability of a baked potato.

[@SenseiLlama]

OK, that's unfair even for 40k. At least they have "space armor" to explain some of the bs. Although the rivets give me nightmares.

[@moekitsune]

@@Erakius323 it's really just the aesthetic I don't like. I know in the lore it probably makes sense but I'm a fan of more modern looking MBTs. Also don't worry about the spelling happens to me all the time

[@AnimarchyHistory]

LONG LIVE THE REFORMERS! thispostauthorizedbytheanticorruptionandmilitaryefficiencycollectiveanydeviationfromwhichresultinginsummaryexecution

[@Cobra-King3]

Blink twice if you need help, blink 3 times if you got the keys to Gonzalo Lira's Cell, so we can torture him

[@marcogenovesi8570]

NAFO UBER ALLES

[@A_Haunted_Pancake]

Death to the greedy, inefficient, nepotistic madness of the Elite Generals, hail to our even more greedy, inefficient, nepotistic madness !

[@chrisriverata1917]

Yeah, I'm apart of theanticorruptionandmilitaryefficiencycollectiveanydeviationfromwhichresultinginsummaryexecution gang what about it?

[@Fimbulvinter19]

A double sized Gavin with showers, vending machines, stripper poles, retractable road wheels, can turn into an aircraft and dogfight and win against the best of the Su and MiG line fighters without the need for fancy radar systems. Truly, you are blessed with the genius of Mike Sparks.

[@GraingyAircraft]

Noncredibility is one hell of a drug

[@swj719]

I'm getting big MASC vibes.

[@sdoo-ou2ni]

add a fracking nuclear reactor

[@Jerorawr_XD]

The idea of a supersonic, dogfighting apc in the heat of combat with a MIG while 2 dudes inside are showering in a bag, two guys are shooting small arms through port holes, and a stripper is twerking, is the most hilarious imagery 🤣

[@lostalone9320]

The Horror 🤣

[@tomarmadiyer2698]

*hears C&C music*

[@DaYemenball]

The ULTIMATE AND SUPREME POWER that only the one and only MIKE SPARKS can think of.

[@SymbioteMullet]

That sounds like a mission in Saints Row 3...

[@TheIMadManI]

Fun fact: the term "Spark of Genius" was actually created because of Mr. Micheal Sparks himself. Truly the Einstein of our time.

[@thecursed01]

Typo. In this case, it's Spark off genius. ...way off... XD

[@mastererik323]

I read that as "Truly the Epstein of our time." hahaha wtf was I thinking xD

[@mitchellmccallum9778]

Fun fact: Gonzalo Lira is a sleazebag grifter that used to go by the name "coach Redpill" til he realized his stupid monicker was causing people to take him less seriously. Presently he Kremlin posts inside Ukraine and is pretending to be kidnapped to be taken seriously.

[@aznluvr7]

That's Dr. Sparks to you....probably.

[@Jetiko27]

Okay, Mike, so how about a tank... that propells itself... with the gun.

[@clem-lv2rw]

rocket jumping tanks! BRILLIANT!

[@matthewarnold4557]

Hell yeah, GTA logic

[@FokkerBoombass]

GTA 3 did this already.

[@Ralnon]

And the A-Team with “flying” tank raises its thrice cursed head 🎉😂

[@joshuahadams]

@@wombatgirl997I can see that working if you get her in neutral and have like an Oerlikon or something. Probably wouldn’t go very fast, but it’d probably work.

[@Buzzdog1971]

Fun fact kids, the majority of military vehicles widths are capped in order to be transported via rail through tunnels.

[@NigelTolley]

Shipping containers! Palletised for delivery. It all chases back to the width of hours in Rome, when they were building the first tunnels for two horses pulling a chariot or cart!

[@rtwfreak2012]

Yeah, but that is only because they can't fly.... Yet.

[@G4rr0.]

So it either needs to be flat packed, or have a drill on the front to cut its own tunnel. That's for the Mike Sparks V1.1 upgrade kit

[@ludditeneaderthal]

COMMIE PROPAGANDA PURE AND SIMPLE!!

[@rogerhill1030]

That's why our vehicles will have drills on the front! PROBLEM SOLVED, YA WELCOME.

[@mikedrop4421]

So nice of Falcon helping out a little channel like Lazerpig. You don't see A-list creators doing this enough.

[@space_artist_4real138]

As a mechanical engineer, oh that was so hilariously painful. Oh the titanium, oh how much that would fucking cost, this bit stood out more than anything else really.

[@paulmahoney7619]

Yeah, just imagining how the vibrations in that thing would get when the 20mm and 30mm open up makes me crave the safe comfort of the Pear Wiggler.

[@hudsonflores5478]

this would cost as much as an Arleigh Burke and work as well as sending a Ford-F150 with ERA on it and a 30 mile fuel range, with a Gau-8 on it, except everything fails because of massive mechanical issues every 3 seconds and it needs a dozen supply trucks per unit just to get through a single mission

[@inurokuwarz]

A tracked limosine with jet engines is terrifying. Not in combat mind you, riding in the back sounds lethal.

[@moonasha]

eh just put some ejection seats in it, it'll be fine

[@TrollOfReason]

That poor tail gunner...

[@twddersharkmarine7774]

Just get a private jet and change the wheels into small itty bitty track and claim its for "unprepared surface operation", as a bonus, it flies

[@eckasas]

I stood less than 50 meters from F-16 starting its engine.. Don't do it without ear protection.

[@tartcartpas1]

The 5’ stripper pole allows for a new mos in the army and an opportunity to finally allow people with dwarfism to serve their country as combat strippers.

[@diogeneslamp8004]

That’s hot.

[@geoffreyentwistle8176]

Man, level 1 bards in the modern world have it fucking ROUGH... XD

[@SIRslipperyasp91]

No, they'd be called tactical femboys, and you should google "DJpeachcobbler" to learn about their secret history as veitnam era moral officers.

[@karabenomar]

I'll be honest, when LP said there would be no electronic entertaintment, I was thinking...chess board?! Clearly, midget combat strippers are far superior and I now see the error of my ways.

[@kylejohnson6775]

This is one of the most beautiful sentences to take out of context I have ever seen.

[@peterb2272]

"We are gonna send these tanks in a three day deep strike mission to the capital city, with all the fuel trucks following" Did I just get a shiver of Déjà vu down my spine?

[@chrisscott6254]

. . . Ukraine?

[@JohnNeo19]

We Americans also did that in Iraq. Except it was successful because we had total air superiority, had dismantled the Iraqi chain of command entirely, sent their leader into hiding and the moral of the Iraqi military was so low that most conscripts abandoned their post the second they heard gun fire in the distance. Mike spark’s probably thinks we could do that to a near peer adversary and honestly with how shit the Russian military has shown to be we probably could do it to Russia, china is a whole different ball game though. It seems like mike sparks is only capable of operating under the assumption that we are fighting a weaker enemy, we have total air and naval superiority and we are fighting a demoralized easily defeated enemy.

[@davidty2006]

Hmmmmmmm. Ah not to worry it's american logistics, 1 truck = 1 potential fuel tanker.

[@SantaClaus-kk8zr]

@@JohnNeo19 Well, we also had reliable logistics and a command structure that wasn't getting sniped or bombed constantly. Russian logistics relies on trucks, American logistics rely on setting up entire fortresses with a subway and Ihop in them, HMGs every five feet, and a few gunships always circling above them. It's kinda wacky how developed our logistic chains were in Desert Storm and such lmfao, takes a lot longer but we actually took notes from past wars to make our future ones less costly and more effective.

[@XMysticHerox]

The Coalition outperformed Iraq in every way imaginable in every aspect of war and not by a small margin. Not just air superiority. Thats why it was possible. @@JohnNeo19

[@roninhusky8492]

Imagine being the 20mm gunner when the 30mm gau fires above your head...

[@anthonyslaughter4689]

Your ringing ears is not service related

[@kostakatsoulis2922]

WHAT?????

[@iamaveryepicman771]

SORRY, I CANT HEAR YOU YOU HAVE TO SPEAK LOUDER

[@Smartcoughdrop]

I want an RTS game with all these incredible designs

[@DucaCremisi]

Always possible if people get up to mod some games.

[@GirthyD]

Red Alert already exists

[@DucaCremisi]

@@GirthyD Yeah, but not with their designs, unless I missed something.

[@leonodonoghueburke4276]

Hoi4 mods

[@DucaCremisi]

@@leonodonoghueburke4276 Hoi4 has slot of potential for that, but it's unused, for the most part

[@BaronVonCatipeen]

I was really hoping that in light of Mr. Sprays dislike of radar, one of you would have suggested a WW2 Era pigeon based tracking system for the Vulcan.

[@JollyKirbs]

hell yea

[@joshuahadams]

Not sure of the context but I’m imagining an Avro Vulcan launching a pigeon-guided Blue Steel nuclear weapon now.

[@TheMan83554]

​​@@joshuahadams So, WW2. Electronic tracking doesn't exist. What you do have are pigeons. Train the pigeons to peck on pictures of the target, as the bomb falls, the pigeon inside the bomb pecks on a piece of glass, which makes fins move to course correct the bombs flight.

[@derekc.6155]

Wait! Why go for a Gau-8, when you have multiple 16-inch guns from old WWII battleships sitting around collecting dust?!

[@Grebogoborp]

As much as this thing already ignores physics one single 16” gun weighs 138 tons

[@jeremywerner9489]

That's the problem with these amateurs, they just can't think BIG enough!

[@garyslayton8340]

​@@jeremywerner9489just strap a single use 18 mm cannon to the bottem of a jet

[@SomeGunNerd]

Far too high-tech. We need something simple. I suggest a 50-pound Parrot Gun from the Civil War.

[@wingracer1614]

@@SomeGunNerd Parrot gun? You expect filthy conscripts to be knowledgeable enough to understand such complex concepts as rifling? Might as well give them sharp sticks. Actually, that sounds like a good idea. After all, the Romans conquered the world with the spear.

[@canniballollocaust9174]

I can't believe the two greatest designers of the Sparks administration didn't even consider a Space Gavin

[@ChucksSEADnDEAD]

Probably because there's prior art of a M113 attached to a Shuttle nose and a rocket in the back.

[@Shaun_Jones]

Sparks actually already beat you to it, using Thunderbirds as a source to prove his idea is genius.

[@diogeneslamp8004]

And when Lazerpig takes it out for a test that would be pigs in space…

[@DaYemenball]

But this needed a compass and a radio made for space. This is to much complicated tech that mike and spray would hate. This thing would need to have the v2 missles technology or tech from the Sputnik rocket.

[@kevinalmgren8332]

The Astro-Gavin

[@mettatone.x.356]

It took me halfway through the video to realize you guys are basically making a luxury version of the Chimera from 40k.

[@honjohorikoshi]

I just love the fact that I was researching printing presses and this was one of the recommendation

[@potcookies96]

If internet historian is gonna take forever this will do

[@SteelLegionnaire]

It’s been months since he last uploaded D:

[@trevorjrooney]

I just wish he would do ITF stuff more between the IH vids. Man in Cave was #1 on trending for a few hours after it released and the big IH vids bring in millions of views, and tons of revenue from additional views from reaction channels. Those have to be big paydays.

[@trevorjrooney]

@@DeReAntiqua As I understand it, all reaction videos have their ad revenu directed in full to the creator of the original video, which means no lost money due to reactions honestly labeled as such. Im not sure how much viewership for the main channel matters at IH's size in this matter specifically. I see how someone much smaller might lose views on their video to a very popular reactor though.

[@coldburn9956]

@@SteelLegionnaireit’s been a year!

[@thorehahn1501]

@@trevorjrooneySounds like a really cool system, but you only give your reaction money away if the content is copyrighted in ContentId otherwise it is just free money for the reaction channel

[@c3aloha]

Still unbelievable that Mike Sparks alone almost convinced the world that M113s were called Gavins.

[@JohnWilliamNowak]

Deviantart/Shabazik has used AeroGavins in some art. In the artist's defense, I have no idea if they're being ironic or not.

[@c3aloha]

@@JohnWilliamNowak don’t forget the amphigavins!

[@JohnWilliamNowak]

@@c3aloha How about Chronogavins? And they can be bigger on the inside, leaving room for more strippers.

[@kavalier8778]

"almost" XD

[@gerryflanagan8291]

No rational human ever called the M113 a Gavin. And what's with the metric bullschit?

[@JohnWilliamNowak]

There needs to be a 20mm cannon for every infantryman aboard. He can control it using a videogame controller, and the aiming system gives points for every kill, so it's not only a weapons system but also a video game. The wheels need to be covered with a metal belt, not tracks. The metal belt makes the tires indestructible, and since they're metal it combines the best parts of a wheel and tracks. It worked in Speed Racer!

[@d3nza482]

Kill point system also simplifies promotions. More kills, more promotion points. Extra points for combo kills and taking out armored targets. Every soldier a general by the end of campaign.

[@heikkiremes5661]

No way. Technology bad. Unreliable.

[@RichardDzien]

They can re-use the video game controllers om the bottom of the ocean near the Titanic.

[@RG001100]

They can have a predator drone nearby ready to perform airstrikes, but only for soldiers who have a kill streak of five.

[@b.w.22]

Hell yes - one guy mentioned promotions, but I think the soldiers operating the video-game controller’d 20mm cannons can achieve battlefield commendations and medals based on an AI monitored gun camera. So just like in Battlefield, little achievements will pop up in the Augmented Reality goggles that the soldiers will be wearing. Totally takes advantage of 25 years of conditioning paid for by the private-sector game studios and, ultimately, the soldiers themselves when they bought and played the games! Have Forza guys drive the things.

[@CDangles]

As an engineering student listening while I'm in a work meeting for a student design competition, this brings me so much joy.

[@noxthemc7717]

Finally someone has realized the synergistic promise of futons and armored personnel carriers

[@vincenttorrijos9680]

It really would be more realistic to just make an actual Metal Gear

[@katamariroller2837]

Towards the latter half of the video they started making an Ace Combat boss.

[@AnotherSeeker]

YUP.

[@gondeazshadow349]

or armor core

[@matthewyeldig4608]

*A weapone to surpass Metal Gear...*

[@sofielee4122]

or a mech

[@CaptainRhodor]

33:52 I now have a spectacular mental image of a Gavin mounting a GAU-8, letting off a burst, and going careening around the battlefield like a loose fire hose XD

[@LoreTunderin]

"So we've got a defensive 20mm cannon, and an offensive 30mm cannon." 💀💀🤣🤣

[@twirlyturd4364]

Also got defensive Molotov cocktails too take out my abandoned challenger 2

[@warmachine5835]

The placement of which ensures that the defensive cannon cannot cover the rear of the vehicle.

[@redbasher636]

Is it bad I want to see you guys do this with Spookston, and do the "redesigns" of vehicles he did a couple years back? (With or without the Mike Sparks memery!)

[@hydrolox3953]

I think it would be the funniest stream ever done.

[@3smashine]

A) why doesn’t it fly 2) there needs to be toilets in the chairs D ) a cage for the warthogs

[@treyaldridge1757]

I have a sneaking suspicion that Mike Sparks was watching the Top Gear Burma special when he came up with the shower in the armored vehicle idea

[@BoraHorzaGobuchul]

You can heat water by using it as engine coolant, and also by passing the exhaust pipe through the water tank. Water also slows down bullets pretty well, it's best to put the water tanks on the outside of the armor on the top and sides. This way nobody will scratch and dent that pretty titanium armor

[@Necro3Monk]

And any impacts or explosive rounds will help heat the water fore future drinks/soup. Genius!

[@changingform250]

Worked so well on the Nelson, a tried and tested idea.

[@Jetiko27]

So, Mike, get this: it's an APC... but the troops are inside a chopper inside the APC!

[@bkondrk]

A military turducken! Brilliant! :D

[@c3aloha]

And it’s amphibious

[@wiledman2430]

"You just cant look at a stripper if the lighting is to harsh, I've tried it it just doesn't work." -Lazer pig 2023

[@KestrelTown]

The CAS solution looks like the Planet Express ship. Which means...lots of potential application for the civilian delivery market! There is no end to the genius of these two men!

[@noahwilliams9118]

Good News everyone! We have a secondary market

[@solreaver83]

B1 without payload could mount the Gavin like bombs, they could be deployed as parasite fighters, using their gun turret for offensive action when mounted then when deplyed in the fighter role. Then they can be launched to support the troops. In addition the airships could be bultiple gun systems for direct fire support like an ac-130 on steroids, it could also deploy more flying Gavin's like a carrier for multiple roles.

[@lego501stTrigger]

What if we build mini Gavinlets that go inside the big ones and when the b1 drops its load the enemies will be overwhelmed by the cluster gavins

[@solreaver83]

@@lego501stTrigger I'm not sure the Internarional community would approve of cluster Gavin's. What if one gets left in a field and found by a random kid one day?

[@lego501stTrigger]

@solreaver83 That's true, kids shouldn't get to have fun with these mini apcs. We can solve this by making them explode if picked up

[@999Phiro]

I swear to God I'm going to design this in sprocket. Mainly because I want to see the absolute nightmare this thing turns into.

[@Destroyer_V0]

Make sure to design it after the volumetric internals update for maximum pain while trying to make it work.

[@999Phiro]

@@Destroyer_V0 it was already going to be a nightmare now I have to model a goddamn stripper POLE AND BANANA DAIQUIRI MAKER IN A GODDAMN COUCH?!?!!?!?!?! I'm gonna blow my brains out trying to get the physics to work. AND WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND A GAU-8?!?!?!?!?!

[@seanreynolds7369]

Let the hand of Mark Sparks guide you

[@Destroyer_V0]

@@999Phiro From the ex aviation disposal store, obviously.... come to think of it, sprocket SHOULD, have hostile planes attacking your tank at some point.

[@DaYemenball]

Yes. Do it.

[@DeputyDexin]

Nothing compliments the unstable payday 3 beta than some good ol' energy beam swine

[@adenkyramud5005]

Energy beam swine and hawk's warrior stories (couldn't think of another word for fighter aircraft so warrior it is) 😂

[@rokkraljkolesa9317]

@@adenkyramud5005 battle plane?

[@tobikenobi7364]

Wtf I just read this while playing the beta lol

[@mrnoskills3589]

Read this while installing the beta lmao

[@HazmatUnit]

This Mike Sparks is getting into Warhammer 40k proportions of vehicles.

[@MostlyPennyCat]

Give it a mirror finish. Now, this solves two problems. 1) You're in the desert, rather than a heavy expensive and complicated climate control system, the mirror stops all the energy of the sun from heating the tank, the water and the occupants. 2) It's the 21st century, you're enemy has lasers. Like, guaranteed, no doubt _at all_ Mirror finish! Reflects the lasers back, 100% damage free, possibly (probably?) destroying the crew served laser and crew that was attacking you. Without the mirrors, you're dead. ERA can't stop lasers, it'll just burn or explode. And Titanium alloy? It may stop any calibre of Ballistic projectile, _but metal melts_ So it can't stop lasers. Only mirrors can!

[@lawrencejob]

Also, you don’t need engines on the zeppelin - just point the GAU-8 backwards when you want to go forwards

[@JopardBDS]

I was thinking on a similar line. Why not weld propeller blades to the barrel so when it spins up you get a power boost

[@josephhelgersonjoseph6115]

Video idea: LP and Falcon try to design militarized versions of Phineas and Ferb’s inventions. For example: The Paper Pelican and the Sun-Beater 3000

[@CaptainAricDeron]

- The Armored Rollercoaster. - The WM1a "Candance" Tree House Mech - The "Jack O'neil" System of Transplanetary Access and Relocation (STAR) gate

[@Shaun_Jones]

The movie kind of already did that.

[@StickWithTrigger]

[@just_matt214]

Would be more reasonable than whatever happened in this video.

[@joesmutz9287]

As silly as it was...this made me start missing Crimson Skies again Come on Microsoft, the dogfight genre is getting a bit of a resurgence, give us an entry

[@HumanityisEmbarrassing]

Yes because that's how game development works. Comments on KZbin are seen and next week, bingo, game. Go home.

[@ravleow9748]

@@HumanityisEmbarrassing dude, chill out.

[@joesmutz9287]

@@HumanityisEmbarrassing Pardon me for saying this, but what kind of depressive sot do you have to be to disparage a whistful comment on a youtube meme video?

[@phoenixmarktwo]

​@@HumanityisEmbarrassingSomeone never got over the end of Crimson Skies.

[@sainsburyshopper]

@@HumanityisEmbarrassing I once commented on a baldur’s gate 2 video about how cool it’d be to have a sequel Coincidence? I think NOT!

[@AntiAntagonist]

If crew comfort is so important and it's already a zeppelin, then there should be a food court.

[@Charon-5582]

The giant water tank could be built into the roof to help protect against top attack weapons. Also to heat the water you could pass it through the radiator like a transmission cooler.

[@jamespocelinko104]

Given what I've seen of actual military PowerPoints, I'm guessing Sparks' graphic design ability is on par with a lot of military officers.

[@ebnertra0004]

Well There's Your Problem's episode on military powerpoints was gold, even if some of the slides inflicted psychic damage on me

[@PenumbranWolf]

I cannot wait for the chance to buy a Military Issue Femboi at my local Army/Navy store, I'll tell you what.

[@alberttrita5858]

Only problem is that the zeppelin is vulnerable to air attack. Add another GAU-8 on it for shooting down planes, this time firing some other kind of shell, since you don't need much penetration against fighters.

[@JacobT-1]

This was very enjoyable. Pig and Falcon duo is great. You seem to genuinely get along. Boy, do I like Fighter's art style. The art is like a mix of engineer sketches/plans and anime (edit: But, like, a very "Americanized" anime.) This was a very pleasant surprise of an upload. Solid, simple, and wholesome ad too. Thank you both.

[@shaunt6040]

what did they draw it on

[@alphaandomega4422]

This whole video is essentially a child playing with Legos and just creating something...MAGICAL

[@EmmaDelamare]

The thing is what you need more of is lift, so you need to use a triplane design.

[@alexanderlittlejohn7136]

Not going to lie, that other guy really knows how to draw on the fly. That's a hell of a skill.

[@fightertales]

Thank you. I was pretty drunk so drawing circles was a challenge

[@A_Haunted_Pancake]

You can also hear he must have worked in irl Design, considering how long he could withstand laughing out loud at really dumb ideas from the Boss / Client. 🤣

[@shaider1982]

Yup, his videos on aircombat is informative and entertaining.

[@fightertales]

@@A_Haunted_Pancake I've worked professionally in Graphic Design, admittedly not in any military capacity.

[@just_matt214]

Well yeah he's an ace pilot, he can do anything *on the fly.*

[@okie1011]

Lazerpig saying he’s met Mike Sparks has the same energy as Jack Ryan saying he met Marko Ramius lol

[@hajimakairu5451]

I really want to watch that Skype call, everything sparks says has so much meme potential

[@svenneumann2816]

Sloped armor zeppelin killed me. 10/10 would spent small amount of military budget

[@shaynemcilvoy9047]

This video has the same energy as my and the boys decorating our ship with upgrades in Lethal Company

[@adenkyramud5005]

Mr sparks has once again proven his wisdom by hiring these two men. Amazing.

[@CharlieNoodles]

Guys, you could have saved yourselves a lot of fussing with metric and used the height of Mike Sparks as your unit of measurement. It was right there!

[@kemarisite]

If we're going back to Vietnam for inspiration, we should install six 106 mm recoilless rifles on our new Gavin vehicle for anti-armor use. Note that I am saying this around the time of the Vulcarall concept. Edit: I'm glad I said that so early because I was laughing too hard at the GAU-8 concept.

[@Shiftinggers]

Wouldn't that be more like the Ontos?

[@kemarisite]

@@Shiftinggers you are correct, sir!

[@MrChickennugget360]

I really like the idea that we won World War III against the USSR with swarms of Aero Gavins- I'm goanna guess that is the reason why Mike Sparks is president of the USA

[@cf453]

Hear me out: Six-barrel rotary 106mm recoilless rifles. Because if there's one thing that HEAT rounds definitely benefit from, it's a high rate of fire.

[@kemarisite]

​@@cf453take my money and build this! 😂

[@Deltaguy447]

Truly a weapon to surpass surplus t55's and cope cages, the future of warfare is going to be very lopsided with President Sparks at the helm! Awesome video LP!

[@jasonmendelsohn6316]

I am so glad that they managed to do this with a straight face for so long.

[@RevDrKillJoy]

I feel like I'm watching Cobra Commander and Destro designing Cobra's next toy line. 😂

[@Coid]

yessssss

[@lostalone9320]

A relaxed, seductive pose with a combat helmet perfectly describes the average infantryman of this dark future.

[@potatoflow536]

Less grimdark and more tall, dark and handsome

[@dabluflcn]

The Gavin X you’re designing needs monster truck tires and a proper lift kit. That way it can crush other vehicles and handle any terrain. Plus it needs speakers and subwoofers on the outside of the hull for less than lethal crowd control and sweet tunes.

[@Coid]

The only question is, where can we find big enough truck nuts for it?

[@dabluflcn]

@@Coid We’ll make them! In Murrrrrica!

[@i0315]

I really think what was missing from your design is that, with all those nice scrapped parts from the horrific B1 platform, you would have enough wings to make the vehicle a biplane for better maneuverability in dogfighting.

[@thriftyshark5307]

"and now Pierre spray is in the room and he's telling us that these lasers are high technology and unreliable" "Alright, we're gonna put Tom Brady on the back of the vehicle, he doesn't get a chair T34 hull gunner style, and he'll chuck a football at any anti tank weapon that's travelling at the vehicle at the speed of sound."

[@michaelimbesi2314]

Quick note about 11:00 . Engineers in the US MIC also use metric instead of the old imperial units.

[@bananaborn4785]

this is how warhammer 40k technology came to be

[@26th_Primarch]

I was gonna say

[@cleanerben9636]

this comment was inevitable, just like the sweet gifts of Nurgle. I implore you, drink from the gutter and embrace his love!

[@JoRoWi83]

You speaks the truth truth

[@yoschiannik8438]

The shower thing gives the word "Tank" a conplettly new meaning

[@A_Haunted_Pancake]

Actually we're coming full circle. Back when they put out the order for the very first Matildas, the British Government told the workers they were making watertanks.

[@yoschiannik8438]

@@A_Haunted_Pancake Yes, thats what im talking about

[@Gencrossbones]

​​@@A_Haunted_Pancakesame goes to the very first tanks of WW1 they call them Water tanks to keep the tank project secret

[@XealotCoils]

The quality has gone up pretty dang good from the NAFO ROUNDER TABLE episodes. I was pleasantly surprised to see Falcon's figure move.

[@firstnamelastname9510]

If you're mounting the GAU-8 on the back, the top-mounted water tank ought to be shifted frontwards so it can serve as a counterweight. Both the Gau-8's ammunition and the water tank's water will obviously deplete at a similar rate over the course of the mission so you don't have to worry about the vehicle getting stuck in mud or stalling out while climbing hills because of too much weight being in the front or the back

[@TurboHappyCar]

Wow Falcon's pretty good at drawing.

[@fightertales]

Thank you

[@CharliMorganMusic]

I want to see an entire family of Sparks™️ AFVs. Design a Sparks™️ tank, and a Sparks™️ IFV to pair with this. A Sparks™️ AA system would be good, too. Obviously, we need variants for the Marines and Airborne, too.

[@incompletemachine877]

The navy needs a sparks class submarine, and given the formation of the US space force, a lunar sparks will also be needed. After all where else are we going to get the titanium.

[@Coid]

So make it amphibious and replace the banana daquiris with banana crayon daquiris and you've got the marines covered.

[@jmjedi923]

And make everying interchangeable!

[@fedos]

I was recently at a USAF acquisition leadership seminar, and a speaker actually referenced The Pentagon Wars as a movie that portrays an accurate representation of military acquisition. If anyone should know better, it's the people who were in that room.

[@CruelestChris]

People who go to leadership seminars are people stupid enough to go to leadership seminars.

[@Destroyer_V0]

The process may be accurate, but that doesn't mean the film itself is.

[@westernstealth873]

For the shower, water could be heated by the engine’s cooling system, which would work by giving engine heat to a coolant and heating a hot water tank (or directly heating water for reformist ‘simple brilliance’)

[@Recordspin]

A parody of In The Field, but with LazerPig, is the best thing anyone could have asked for.

[@Numtalegau]

What a great way to start the weekend. LP has blessed us with an upload. Spank you, LazerPig. Spank you very much.

[@justanotherperson7774]

🙌 blessed thee

[@twirlyturd4364]

Blessed be the Molotov cocktail destroyer of challengers

[@marcogenovesi8570]

the insanity keeps going up the more the video progresses

[@LeafyMouse4478]

Let’s go a 50 minute video to get me through my next 50 minute class. Thank you very much Pig

[@wolfninja11111]

Yea

[@matthewarnold4557]

School just started smh

[@garyslayton8340]

In chemistry rn

[@nos9784]

Hey, pay attention in school, or you will end up like mike sparks! 😋

[@cf453]

Dude, if you're going to do that, just don't bother going to class.

[@waitingforanalibi2224]

I have to say, I like the format. I like the tongue in cheek comments/additions and like the real-time illustrations deffo! 👍👍

[@TeiwazTheGoat]

Why is Falcon so adorable? I just wanna squish him. 🥺

[@inq101]

Crew comfort can be improved by replacing all chairs with tactical beanbag chairs

[@richardarriaga6271]

I wonder if anyone tried to build a Lego tank? It floats, immune to corrosion, simple construction.

[@Vartuoosi]

Inherently modular as well.

[@alexturnbackthearmy1907]

@@Vartuoosi Easy to repair as well, just give legos to toddlers and say them to build. Also solves child unemployment.

[@daniellewis1789]

Because Lego doesn't make an ERA brick. Now, MegaBlocks...

[@WorshipperOfKhone]

I don't think even the government can afford that much Legos to build a tank

[@daniellewis1789]

@@WorshipperOfKhone It turns into area denial even after it's destroyed.

[@henrymorrison7891]

I was told many moons ago about a video will be made on the home guard yet it remains but a dream Make it the name of Mike sparks or shall smite thee down

[@Ironclockwork]

*Watches the scenario outline at the beginning* ...Goddammit, Chief O'Brien, what in the world have you done now!?

[@KingFunky]

I suddenly have a greater appreciation for internet historian and his editors

[@Number1Rival]

Tonight on Top Tank... Falcon's Fighter Tales is vibing, Mike Sparks wants to know what a UFO looks like, And Lazerpig talks about docking clamps. All that and more....on Top Tank.

[@BWEEOOP]

If it was ever built there would be a waiting list to get into the Army

[@the_sad_wallet1553]

I would join up just for the femboy pole dancers, the banana daiquiris and PTSD would just be an added bonus

[@darkhawk2463]

I really love in attempting to make a zeppelin they instead made what is basically a buck Rodgers rocket mixed with a Kirov airship

[@cronoros]

The best IFV is obviously the French Battleship Richelieu. Heavy armour, lots of firepower, plenty of crew space (including real showers and beds) shrugs off rpgs and mines. Plenty of room for dismounts. Meets all requirements and then some

[@Raptor747]

I imagine that Pierre Sprey would still be very wary of an APC that has a 20mm gatling cannon AND a handful of Sidewinders on a turret. That's dangerously close to "tank" territory. He'd probably insist on a maximum of two Sidewinders.

[@jmfranke]

Finally someone takes crew comfort seriously!

[@Pylo-ry6ff]

Titanium steel shell? Wouldn't it be better to repurpose the carbon based hull armor of a Tigerwolf MBT? It would be lighter and practically indestructible.😁

[@logansmall5148]

Carbon is what diamonds are made of after all!

[@hansiminator69]

50 mins of Lazerpig! Yes! That’s what I need today! :)

[@anathematic5083]

wow, just realized I haven't seen a conveyor belt vending machine in forever.

[@pyronuke4768]

OK, now I gotta see the plane, and battleship, versions of this video!