Destiny's Hot Trans Panic Takes

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[@NatsumiTakanawa]

A MAJOR problem with the “trans panic” conversation is that it often only ever revolves around dating (which is an extremely rare occurrence that a trans person would get intimate with someone before telling them about being trans). We almost never talk about how most often bigots become hostile at the mere sight of a trans-woman, when she’s expressed ZERO acknowledgement of the transphobe. Many trans-women have had their lives taken while just walking down the street. An entitled male (usually male) will holler at her for attention (which is street harassment), discover she’s trans, then the unfortunate happens. The problem isn’t trans people in dating settings. The problem is toxic masculinity and the entitlement transphobes have of thinking trans people owe them something.

[@politiqueen420]

I'll never understand why people think they are entitled to sex.

[@bm1259]

Well the reason why no one talks about it is because it's literally just through common sense that you can come to the conclusion that behaving in that manner is just simply wrong and immoral.

[@scarlett103]

Thats so true. A few years ago when I was walking with my other trans friend, a group of guys were flirting with me and they somehow figured out Im trans, so then they proceeded to follow my friend and I for blocks calling us slurs. We had to lose them through a store. It was one of the scariest experiences I’ve had and luckily we didn’t get hurt.

[@MakiPcr]

Trans panic defense is still legal (somehow); like a man can murder a trans woman and get away with it by claiming he was "surprised" she had a penis and "panicked". And these looser is talking about "deceiving" a partner

[@aprilk141]

I'm on a popular dating app. The number of dudes who do not read the first sentence of my profile is insane. Yes, I am cute, the first thing in my profile is "I am trans". The most common question I get is,, "are you trans?". Jesus Christ dudes. Just try reading three short words.

[@MyHairyRoommates]

I'm tired of pretending to be surprised when Destiny says something awful. He just does it for attention.

[@viktorkc1154]

Advocating against non consensual sex is awful?

[@julietfischer5056]

@@viktorkc1154 - Fan of the guy? Finding out someone is trans isn't assault. As long as it stops the moment someone says 'No' it's not assault.

[@StormMcBeth]

Destiny once said that vaush's joke tweet about "being rich is a choice" was problematic. Bring that up if Destiny's chimps try to call you sensitive.

[@pantman2028]

Just because destiny was wrong about something previously doesn’t mean that he’s wrong now (not that I’m saying he’s right). We can make better arguments that aren’t so fallacious.

[@StormMcBeth]

@@pantman2028 I wasn't making an argument. Destiny's fans will do anything to downplay the shit hes does. This is a tool to show those chimps how he's more sensitive than anyone. PAY ATTENTION AND DEVELOP COMPREHENSION SKILLS

[@jonmorgan6812]

@@pantman2028 There are counter-arguments and then there are counter-narratives. The OP can serve as the latter if it can't serve as the former.

[@LilyoftheLake14]

You missed a huge opportunity when describing 'having the sexual,' and talking about taking off the corn suit, to say *"Schuck my cob"* Please use this, it would be an honor to hear you say it.

[@feralguyver]

With a cheesy Sean Connery accent?

[@Vladdyboy]

Overcob comes off, its husked (shucked if you will) to reveal undercob. He missed an opportunity afterwards to say something about corn cob there. 🌽 when he dropped the act and just said pee pee. ... I have never been blue balled so much in my life by Papa Jake.

[@aprilk141]

​@@feralguyverit would sound like shuck my cob, a request to Peel the skin off

[@MisterRorschach90]

I was drunk and started sleeping with a girl a few years back. I sobered up halfway through and realized what I was doing and that I didn’t want to do it with her. She was very respectful and never once said anything to make me feel bad about it. I revoked consent, and it wasn’t because of sexual abuse or assault, and I don’t consider anything she did wrong. If you decide you don’t want to do something even while doing it, that is fine.

[@MsXperienced]

Must be nice to be able to say no without being blamed or shamed for it after. I might transition to being a guy lol

[@letustalk]

It's heartwarming to hear a case of somebody revoking consent halfway through and the other person actually respecting it. I'm glad things went smoothly!

[@robertthedevil7598]

Going off to la la land, but "revoking consent" sounds like telling a vampire you invited that the invitation is revoked, and they bare fangs, start hissing and claw at you, telling you how you'll sleep like the dead.

[@verager2493]

That's how healthy respect for others is done, on both ends

[@Gloomdrake]

@@robertthedevil7598 that's how a lot of men are with women who revoke consent, at least

[@Reienroute]

When I first began dating as a trans woman, I always made a point of disclosing that fact at the outset, because at the time I believed it to be the "right" thing to do. However, the amount of verbal abuse I suffered became too bad for my mental health. The solution for me was to avoid telling potential partners until things became heated, but I also made extra certain that the person I was pursuing was at least somewhat idealistically progressive before ever taking things that far. I of course still faced a lot of rejection, but it was never nearly as vitriolic as it was while being less discerning about when I told people. I think a lot of cis people fail to consider this side of things. Waiting to tell someone we're trans is often just us feeling out whether or not you're safe, which is something I think is fair to allow us to do. Don't forget that verbal abuse can have nearly as big an effect on us as violence. We already spend our lives with a general awareness about how reviled we are by a large portion of society, so having insults hurled at us is more than just an isolated confrontation, it's a symbol of a much larger reality which leaves most of us with a continual sense of minority anxiety. Point being, immediate disclosure is not the self preservation many are prone to assuming it is. The reality is that trans people are unfortunately stuck walking a tightrope between non-violent, and violent abuse until we're more widely accepted. Avoiding the former often takes the form of waiting to disclose.

[@christophercheck1590]

"Waiting to tell someone we're trans is often just us feeling out whether or not you're safe, which is something I think is fair to allow us to do" It is so depressing to me that that's a consideration you ladies have to go through. We still live in a horrifying world.

[@Landofjello]

I was talking to this chick for a while. She told me that she's trans and I ended the interaction right then and there. It's a waste of time to invest in someone only to have to end the investment. I may have a deep dark secret but it's probably best to tell the person up front so they won't be deceived. Imagine dating someone for a while before you find out they have beliefs that are completely opposed to your beliefs.

[@kayakat1869]

Destiny is always blaming Vaush for shit, but then he does this. 😒

[@cultural_marxism_fan]

they're both really gross tbh. but destiny is worse sometimes lmao.

[@kayakat1869]

@@cultural_marxism_fan a lot of what is said about Vaush was fully made up by white supremacists. Like, yeah no one is perfect, but he's not the villain people make him out to be

[@StormMcBeth]

I'm sure its somehow gonna be vaush's fault again. And Destiny will go talk to xan about how vaush should break up with highena because she said mean things.

[@Shadowman4710]

@@cultural_marxism_fan Vaush's politics are at least far, far better...

[@trash_girlfriend]

@@StormMcBeth didn't they break up?

[@kaygratv]

One time I forgot to disclose my transness to someone before inviting him over. I had been chatting with numerous men at the same time, and just genuinely didn't realize I had never told him. Thankfully, it came up before clothes came all the way off and he reacted reasonably and believed that it was an accident. He even apologized after he left, saying that he felt bad for turning me down due to my genitals and I thanked him for considering my feelings and apologized once again for forgetting to tell him. These things do happen, they're rare, and they aren't always an attempt at deception or secrecy. By Destiny's logic, I'm a piece of shit for not meticulously ensuring that this was communicated and I had done something "tantamount to sexual assault". I really can't stand any argument that galvanizes or justifies violence against trans people, and Destiny has always been insufferable to me.

[@sfred2590]

I think it's great that you also believe in informed consent, but you're mischaracterizing destiny's argument here. His tweet talks about deliberately misleading people, which you didn't do. Forgetting to disclose information and then realizing and apologizing is very different than actively choosing not to tell someone, because you don't want them to turn you down. That's what his argument is about- informed consent.

[@Aelffwynn]

@@sfred2590 have fun drinking your Kool aid, bud

[@sfred2590]

@@Aelffwynn Drinking the Kool aid that you should be honest and upfront with people so they have full context for what kind of intercourse they're about to have? The Koolaid that these conversations should take place before sex and shouldn't be purposefully sprung on people in the middle of sex? Um, ok.

[@christophercheck1590]

@@sfred2590 People have explained in this very comment section why they don't disclose their genital status early in a relationship. There's nothing malicious about it, and the fact that you're acting like trans women, a demographic very frequently murdered because of cis men's reactions to their genitals, should disclose those genitals more readily shows your lack of sympathy for the people who are actually victims, in our society.

[@d3l3tes00n]

None of it makes sense to me. If you meet someone & they happen to have genitals that you're not attracted to... just tell them you're not compatible & be respectful. People make this way more difficult than it is. Do straight dudes not discuss what they want to do sexually before getting naked with a woman?

[@andrwblood9162]

Demon Mamma insists she never accused Destiny of Transphobia... Destiny later: I'm gonna do what's called a *pro gamer move*

[@viktorkc1154]

She literally called him transphobic in her debate with him, are you brain dead?

[@Painocus]

@@viktorkc1154 Iirc she said he did something transphobic, not that he was transphobic. Right?

[@zacharypegg7051]

@@Painocus You are correct. It's funny because a lot of people are either incapable or unwilling to accept the minimal nuance of her accusation.

[@molono1451]

@@viktorkc1154 wasn't that debate just about how it's not ok to call trans people mentally ill even if you aren't trying to be transphobic? This might have been someone else but I'm pretty sure I've heard her say that she doesn't think he's super transphobic or anything she just thinks you shouldn't use loaded language towards minorities who are strongly affected by those specific words, calling trans people mentally ill is transphobic so you should avoid doing it but it doesn't make you a rampant transphobe if you do it by accident

[@AmpluexCompressa]

The fact that when asked, 100% of trans people in the chat basically said "I always disclose early on for my own safety" really shone a light on Destiny's false premise. He's framing the argument to make trans people look like predators, and to bait people into defending something that rarely happens.

[@sfred2590]

How is he framing the argument to say that. In his argument on twitter he didn't even use the words trans, because the argument is about reasonably assuming the genitals of someone else and that the other person should counter that assumption if they aren't taking advantage of the other person. His point is about informed consent, it's not really even isolated to trans people.

[@AmpluexCompressa]

@@sfred2590 I don't believe for a moment that you think he's talking about cis people at all.

[@sfred2590]

@@AmpluexCompressa ..why? The argument is about how it isn't fair to take advantage of people's reasonable assumptions when it comes to genitalia. That's not exclusive to trans people. In any situation that's coercive.

[@AmpluexCompressa]

​@@sfred2590 The simple fact that the false stereotype about trans women being predatory is so prevalent is why. You don't have to say "I'm talking about trans women" when you're saying something that specifically feeds into a pervasive misconception ~about~ trans women. In the majority of cases, trans people DO disclose. Saying that they SHOULD, because if they don't it makes them predators, implies that they don't, and also implies that they're more likely to be the perpetrators of sexual violence, rather than the victims of it.

[@jacobholland6969]

Exactly. That's the whole point of the bathroom issue too. They falsely paint trans people as predators and how they need to keep children safe, when along its cis men that are more often predators in bathrooms.

[@elliotterodriguez]

I swear Destiny argues like a teenager 😂 he wants to be inflammatory. He wants attention

[@The_Rutabaga]

Destiny was probably the kid in high school who did some dumb shit in class all the time and then tried to own the teacher in an argument about it afterwards.

[@matthewgagnon9426]

I've seen very little of his content and everything I've seen has just had that vibe of the contrarian high school kid who argues just to argue.

[@mechanomics2649]

@@matthewgagnon9426 Honestly, be happy you've seen little of it and keep it that way. I'm someone that started diving into political KZbin relatively recently and have regretted much of the time I spent listening to a lot of Destiny's content in wanting to familiarize myself with his views.

[@kamalaharrisloveskneepads3229]

Remember you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink beer

[@saininj]

I was watching some 2016-2018 Destiny the other day, and it's wild how 2021 Destiny seems completely different.

[@theautisticguitarist7560]

I think the pandemic took a toll on him. So many people fell off the deep end after the lockdowns started, that I wouldn't be surprised.

[@KvatchIsInDanger]

Consider that you, yourself have also changed.

[@HeartFarts]

money and fame coupled with a corrosive personality baybeee- hes just unpleasant af

[@damanrulz]

Density decided to attack the left. Because money and bloodsports

[@Amadeus-ni3et]

Back when destiny was doing 1 on 5 debates against nazis

[@laurenmartinez55]

This man took a nosedive harder than an Jontron, and Jon is shilling for every mobile game on the planet and hasn't even changed his political views

[@TheFhqwhgadsLimit]

I think Jon is just really politically ignorant. He doesn't come off to me as badly intentioned, just severely misinformed. Destiny does politics full time and doesn't really have the same excuse - he actually takes time to consider it fully and still comes to this bad conclusion.

[@laurenmartinez55]

@@TheFhqwhgadsLimit he's had time to reconsider his views. He's less......openly racist and bigoted, but definitely still reactionary. But yeah Destiny has zero excuses

[@carroboi2981]

As a Bi (Both Sexually and Romantically) Person. I'd take it as a pleasant surprise, but probably not care otherwise. So, not all Bi people take Destiny's view of things.

[@freyjaplaysgames3293]

But not all people feel as you do either. I, for one, completely agree with Destiny.

[@bazookallamaproductions5280]

im pan and would also love the surprise 😂👌

[@freyjaplaysgames3293]

@@bazookallamaproductions5280 actually he never said it was rape. He said it was "rapey". Which, it is.

[@bazookallamaproductions5280]

@@freyjaplaysgames3293 if i have a surg''ically trans''planted tiger tongue down there, and you dont LIKE that, you can just say no 😂 nobodys f''o''r''c''i''n''g you. you have every right to say no for ANY reason 😂 but its not r@pey to OFFER you my tiger tongue 😂👌 😘 🤘🎽👌 👅 👣

[@mechanomics2649]

@@freyjaplaysgames3293 Are you also scared of letting trans people use whatever bathroom they identify with?

[@nzephier]

Here it goes: papa jake coming for the destining lol

[@cultural_marxism_fan]

very shocked that a neoliberal would turn out to be bigoted!!! wow!

[@corriethomson2916]

There is no bigotry on destiny's side, but being a fan of this guy it's obvious your a fucking clown.

[@donaldmarcato7003]

Destiny got buttered, popped, and salted in this debate.

[@lrose5522]

If you pull a woman's pants off and discover a penis and you get grossed out by it, that isn't sexual assault. How do you get to the point of having sex and you haven't at any point seen their genitals? If you're in the middle of having sex and suddenly feel gross and want to stop, and then the partner stops, you haven't been sexually assaulted, you've just revoked your consent. Same thing with genitals, if you see something you don't like and decide you don't want to have sex anymore, then you can stop. You don't gotta keep going, and if they don't pressure you (and you don't force yourself), then it's not sexual assault. It's possible that you have very complex, maybe even violated feelings, and that's valid, but your feelings aren't their fault in that case. Get a therapist. It's also so annoying because everyone seems to take sexual assault OH SO SERIOUSLY when it's "trans woman happened to not mention that she hasn't had bottom surgery and you're shocked to find a penis there", but when it's pressuring, the way a woman dresses, etc, it's whatever. Boys will be boys, she was asking for it, blah blah blah.

[@Dave102693]

Why is this Destiny person is taken seriously?

[@fakefromjatestarm3006]

Because he's usually not this blatantly wrong or harmful.

[@andrewfranquelin3184]

Appeals to emotionally shallow hateful youth who would rather project on the world rather than change

[@SensationalShulk]

@@andrewfranquelin3184 What are you talking about? Are you ok?

[@Dave102693]

@@andrewfranquelin3184 that makes I guess

[@purpledragon2442]

@@fakefromjatestarm3006 he’s been pretty off base for a few years now. I don’t get why people are acting like him having bad takes is new.

[@ktc227]

Simple rule: If you can't be completely honest with the people you are dating, you are not adult enough to engage in adult activities. With men, we don't know if we like a woman until after sex. Attraction is the first stage. Attraction means your wig, makeup, push up bra,, Spanx, and high heels worked. Dealing with the added unknown of sex at birth is too much to ask. Be proud of your transition. Be open and honest. You are more likely to find love and acceptance in the end.

[@angelac5628]

Trans people do not have to have any surgeries

[@GreyeHazel]

True

[@melmelhodgepodge3800]

-starts sweating nervously in woman-

[@jasperb8386]

i literally started watching destiny's videos last night for the first time before this was uploaded and once in a while he would say something that would be like " wow um sus" and then I SEE THIS

[@thesaltybeard1793]

Dude you just solved my problem with my sexuality. If I'm understanding correctly, it's more about gender expression than gender identity. Which makes it a LOT more flexible.

[@KuLaydMahn]

I think that's right. I've heard the argument - in relation to Nick Fuentes - that a straight man can be attracted to cat femboys and still be straight because what they're attracted to is the femininity. There's actually a sociological official name for the phenomenon but I can't recall it. Point is, yes - your sexuality is determined more by the gender expression you're attracted to

[@faenen91]

Technically the science word is called gynophilia-attraction to the feminine. So if you're into butch men and butch women and you're a man you are not gay but androphilic bisexual. Sexual orientation is limited to sex but within queer communities there are a lot of words for gender based attraction.(See lesbians butches for femmes etc).

[@DereBear]

Dude same here. I’m super gay and never imagined myself interacting with a vagine... but some of these trans men got me rethinking that possibility

[@mihribanmarangoz1547]

Why don't guys just ask if they're trans first? İt's stupid to put the blame on trans women.

[@fakefromjatestarm3006]

To be fair, most guys arent expecting a pretty woman to have a penis. I do think its important to have an informed discussion about what to expect, and that goes for both parties.

[@fakefromjatestarm3006]

@UCPmbGY20rxUjvBFtmlkORJw I'm clearly specifically referring to the trans women that haven't had bottom surgery.

[@nathanjasper512]

Not expecting it... but not necessarily disappointed either.

[@captain_legend7551]

It's simple. If you care about the genitalia, ask. Better than everyone guessing at the motives of the other. Is it really forward and a very personal question. Yes. Is it immoral...not sure. Does it get the point of the possible transphobe across to a trans or non trans person. Yes.

[@sfred2590]

I've seen a lot of trans people say it's transphobic and hurtful to ask what someone's genitals are.

[@notshardain]

@@sfred2590 and usually the context when trans people say it's bad to ask what someone's genitals are is... not in this situation the whole conversation is about. It's in the context of trans people being asked what's in their pants by various strangers, not romantic partners. For strangers who literally don't know a person to ask invasive questions about their body and sexual organs SOLELY because the person is trans, that is transphobic because it's something that strangers don't need to know and shouldn't be asking. Treating trans people like a spectacle/oddity and feeling entitled to know intimate details about their genitals solely because they are "abnormal" is what is transphobic. Asking someone you're dating or going to have a fling with what genitals they have is not the context that trans people say is transphobic or hurtful. Because it's expected by most trans people that the topic will come up, and usually the trans person is the one who will broach the subject w/their partner before the partner ever asks about genital status.

[@Sh3nan1gans]

Love you, fam. Thanks for making great videos

[@czargraham8790]

Not relevant, but Jake kind of looks like my boss and it’s fucking me up

[@HistoricaHungarica]

He just wants to debate another professor.

[@Pensive_Scarlet]

Historically, gender expression has developed around signaling your role in the act of biological reproduction. It's only relatively recently that we're moving away from that now, so it makes sense to me that a lot of people are going to be surprised when my genitals don't match what they expected. See? There is a way to discuss this without his "edgy hot take" nonsense. He's just going about it with a bad attitude to "make waves" or whatever.

[@faenen91]

That's historically not true. There are a lot of gender expressions that are not binary -as we understand today-across cultures in history in Indigenous, African, European etc countries. Those practices and ideas of gender were wiped out by Christianity largely which reinforced what is dominant today. But ignoring his bad take for trans panic, calling not getting what you expected assault is entitled in extreme. If a cis woman had a padded bra I wouldn't accuse her of assaulting me if she shows me her smaller than expected breasts.....

[@Pensive_Scarlet]

@@faenen91 I agree with you about his take, no worries there. Even intentional deception is not assault until an actual act is committed. It might be better to say some people can be traumatized by suddenly realizing they're "not as straight (or gay!)" as they thought they were but, of course, that's still no excuse for enacting psychological or physical cruelty. I was mainly speaking of gender expressions as they've developed in "the west", and how it's led to the people in the US to have the attitudes they cling to today. I am actually a Third Gender myself, and still coming to terms with being born into a culture that has a history of despising such concepts, to the point of enacting violence when encountering them. I don't blame the people of today for the impact of their ancestors' mistakes, though, so I feel like it's on me to be clear about the fact that I am differently gendered.

[@faenen91]

@@Pensive_Scarlet Awesome happy to see you here. Well not in this comment thread specifically. Yeah the reality is the onus is on trans people but not because it should be but because the other party doesn't think about it which is not their fault but also not great. And yeah imperialism sucks. Though id disagree with it as something ancestors did when the impacts are still unfolding. Indigenous communities are still getting raked over the coals and many African countries are anti-LGBT because of it being a long target for evangelicals. But this is way off topic of Destiny's take and his defenders. I'll put my nerd brain away. ( Though really multigender cultural systems in history are a fascinating study)

[@sinshiro]

This can’t be a real issue worth talking about. It’s not cat fishing

[@sasak369]

Ok I have a spicy hot take on this, but IMO if you’re someone who only wants to sleep with people who have specific genitals, it is up to you to check with potential partners to make sure that’s the case. It’s your preference and your concern, so it should by all means be your responsibility to ensure your own comfort. If you’re assuming everyone you see out in the world is cis unless they’re running around with a giant sign saying “I’m trans, have a giant throbbing [dick or clitoris depending on which is atypical for their gender presentation]”, you’re just making unreasonable assumptions about people and you’re expecting trans people to put themselves in unnecessary danger for your comfort. It’s like if you had a nut allergy or something and rather than realizing that for your own safety, you should probably check the ingredients on new food items, eating candy bars indiscriminately, having an allergic reaction and being mad that the item in question disclosed the inclusion of nuts on the back and not on the front. If you have very specific preferences that you will freak out about if they aren’t met, be a little smarter about it than just assuming everyone meets your criteria by default.

[@yahwehvii6059]

Have these men ever revoked consent with a cis woman? You have the option to do that with a trans woman.

[@kamidanshir7362]

I want to take a moment and sort of back up and have a talk not about whether Canadian was right (I don't think so, trans women are women, trans men are men) but about the ongoing thought process of a lot of people. I live in the American South, and as I have gotten older I've discovered that as long as my partner meets the criteria I have for feminine markers, I don't really care what their genitalia are. I'm all good with it. However. For nearly 4 decades now as I was growing up it was part of the local culture, it was part of the local conversation, it was part of the national conversation on some level as well - trans women, no matter how feminine they were, were still gay. (And I am intimately aware of how.... unconnected sex, gender, and sexual attraction are and should be spoken of). During the 80s, the 90s, and the 00s crossdressers, drag queens, drag kings, butch lesbians, out LGBT members of any sort, they were all poured into the same bucket. And - here's my important part - anyone who felt an attraction to them was also poured into the same bucket. I have spent decades hiding the fact that I like trans women from everyone - in fact, this is a throwaway account (I'm a member in good standing of Jake's community, maize be) because I'm still uncomfortable talking about all this in a way that can be linked to me. And part of the reason for that is that I have members of my family and members of the community I'm in that would go 'well you like trans women? You're a F******, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE/BUSINESS/JOB!' and there might be more repercussions beyond that. And in a way, I'm proud of that. I know what I like, I know who I love, I know what turns me on, and I accept that even if everyone else doesn't. I just can't let it out right now. But from everything I know about how I've been brought up, that still makes me bi, that makes me part of the LGBT alliance, it means that I'm here on this side. So I understand the concept that 'liking trans women mans you gay'. It's not me trying to be hateful or anything. It is decades of built in coding in my brain that says how I have to interpret things. I hope people can understand where I'm coming from. I understand that there is a point in the future where we can get back to what I said at the start that trans men are men and trans women are women and being attracted to them does not automatically make you gay or lesbian or anything else. Or at least we can get to a better understanding of what 'gay' as a term means. But I, personally, hope there's some room for me and how I think at the table.

[@faenen91]

Yeah there is a loaded stigma for straight partners of trans woman but personally I think it's the definition of straight that needs to change. Why is orientation limited to sex and not gender when most attractions are based on gender and sex characteristics can vary wildly. Liking a trans woman is no different from liking curvy women or petite people or any other configuration. It's just the transphobia that makes it " not straight" and passes it to partners, like a shitty gift.

[@anniescornavacca1472]

Why do women feel pressured? Why not just say no? Maybe because of what happened the last 5 times I tried to say no. Bad things happen when you try to deny a man something they think they're owed. I'm a white cis woman at a much lower risk & it's proven pretty unsafe for me. Maybe that's why. Maybe if the people asking actually listened to the answer. But they don't.

[@Lucarioly]

I don't understand how anyone fails to comprehend how dangerous this Destiny take is not just from a transphobia perspective but from a legal perspective. The trans panic defense where someone else's assumptions about you without any intentional action on your part would be enough to justify convicting you or harming you. That's absolutely ridiculous i don't believe any other law actually works off of 'I made this assumption that turned out to be false' Being enough to convict someone of a crime normally intentional action has to accompany that but this seems to argue that's unnecessary.

[@SensationalShulk]

Are people really worried to be gay? Or do people just not want to interact with penises sexually? These don't seem to be the same thing to me.

[@dinosaysrawr]

The one type of deception I'd consider beyond the pale in this area would be if you lied to a sexual partner about having an STI. Otherwise, deception (whether by commission or omission) of a sexual partner might be not wise or not nice, but I can't think of anything I'd consider "tantamount to rape."

[@frostyfrenchtoast]

Destiny moment

[@viktorkc1154]

Rape

[@xamp_exclammark]

Destiny openly talked about ramping up his rethoric to alienate or attract people in his debate with vaush.I believe hes on his way to building a culture of owning the lefttards and as we have seen what the culture of owning the libtards has lead to,the ironic admiration CAN become real takes.

[@Ireallywouldrathernot]

If you're a person who really doesn't want to actually see or touch an unexpected variety of genitals it would probably be in your own interest to just ask before it goes that far. Otherwise just be prepared that it might happen.

[@bazookallamaproductions5280]

you ALL need to watch his debate with demonmama to see how hard he downplays and lies lmao.

[@puppetimageltd9237]

I thought the title said "Denny's hot pancakes" hungry now.

[@Moliminous]

after actually watching, no i actually agree with destiny to a degree here. if you are actively engaging in sex with someone then you tell them afterward or in the middle about your genitals, then that person wasn't able to make informed consent and that's fucked up. also, I really hate the whole aspect of saying how fucked up it is to fake content. and then tirade you went on about victim-blaming? people fake content for many reasons. one of which could be they don't feel safe. in which case you're literally engaging in victim-blaming by saying how fucked up they are? just fucking talk to your partners before fucking period. 30:55 yes? if you're lying about different things in order to engage in sex with someone it would be even worse.

[@EpicWinNoob]

So are sex and gender interchangable terms or not? Because this entire argument is suggesting they are but most of the trans community has been distancing sex and gender. I'm legit confused here, because that opens up a hige array of questions regarding Cis vs Non-cis people of a gender, while also havingb sex tied to it, while sex specifically is tied to biological sex while gender is one's ezpression regardless but also physical expression in some cases, but also it's arbitrary but it's not. What is happening rn?

[@faenen91]

They are separate. It's just heterosexuality assumes cisgender. It's called heterocisnormativity. The label of straight presumes you're attracted to cisgender people of the opposite gender. The language used to describe attraction affirms this. But also it requires that people don't talk before having sex and just fall into bed which happens but isn't the only way to do things. There's also the whole I expect sex with this type of body and not getting what I want equals assault is gross. Unless the person sends you nudes your expectations are sexy imaginings. Related trivia but scientifically sex is considered bi-modal (genes+ hormone environment). Pretty cool stuff

[@EpicWinNoob]

@@faenen91 I mean as a gay man I axiomatically would rather be with a cisgender male. I don't get how it's a "heterocisnormative" thing, If I have a preference for cis people and not a straight person. I get the arguments about how "you woudnt be able to tell, and they're real" Okay, one, theres a distinction between cis and non-cis people. While they would be expressing the gender and they would be who they say they are, there is an undeniable separation between cisgendered and non-cosgendered people which was started by the trans community to begin with to differentiate when discussing the matter. Unless the community is willing to drop the label given to cis people and have all people just be people, that's going to be a point of contention. Again, from an axiomatic standpoint I would feel uncomfortable if they werent cis. Sexuality is not just naughty bits and pheromones. it's an array of factors both physical and conceptual and sexuality just as gender isn't limited by specific boxed-in definitions at this point. I'm not attracted to brunettes and blondes, i'm not into overly masculine guys I am attracted to shorter guys, i also like guys with a little weight on them and would rather be with someone about as educated as I am These have no specific empirical measurement of why I am or am not into them and I don't have to justify them, but it's what I prefer and among that list is that im attracted to cis people and not attracted to non-cis people but that somehow requires justification? that's where im lost. That would also beg the question of the validity of other sexual preferences as well, and would be another can of worms altogether if people had to justify what got them sexually active. if someone is being violent or otherwise degrading toward a non-cis person in rejection, they're just a cunt. But sexual preference-wise, I do not believe it to be transphobic to not be attracted to someone for not being cis. I'm not shitting on trans people when I say I would rather be sexually active with someone who originally had a penis to begin with. It's not assault to not disclose, but at the same time it's got this weird tinge to the concept of feeling the need to hide it from a potential partner when you'd assume you would would want to be sure your partner was on board with the concept and to avoid potentially dangerous or emotionally scarring knee-jerk reactions, wouldn't you? I see weaponization of the concept as a huge issue, but some are genuinely in the same position im in and it feels strange to feel like im being attacked for having a sexual preference. I'm not attacking trans people for being trans because i woudnt want to have sex with them, just as im not attacking blondes, brunettes, tall and thin people for not wanting to have sex with them.

[@faenen91]

@@EpicWinNoob @EpicWinNoob @EpicWinNoob yes I agree with you, genital preference is a thing and I'm certainly not saying that's a issue. Most people are not. It's the allusion to non/pre-op genitals as assault that's getting a reaction. Plus it's conversation trans people have all the time because many have dysphoria about their genitals and don't want certain activities at all. Heterocisnormativity is just the assumption of cisgender and heterosexuality as normal ( no not as in the majority or typical but as in non cis not get identity is a abbreviation like the old gay is a abnormality or dangerous). Liking sex characteristics is not a problem, hell likely particular expressions of them not a issue for me. Orientation exists. Not wanting to have sex with someone is always valid. Being a dick about it isn't ( not attacking you that doesn't seem to be what you're about at all) But my issue is one) the whole trap narrative that is echoing throughout the comments. It's a script that is dangerous to trans people. It's rare that someone does not disclose in a hook up, most times it is actually a presumption in public ( think at a party or club) where the "crime" is being attractive AND trans. 2) A lot of the onus is on trans people and getting told how we should handle it by cis people to accommodate their feelings about the steps we take to date/ sex safely when violence is often on the table. Can you see it from that angle how it could be galling? Especially if you've experienced trauma from disclosures that did not go well. 3) The conversation is rarely " how do I talk about genital preference in a good way". Or how do I say " we're not sexually compatible politely", " hey you're hot but I don't want to do genital stuff are their other things you like"or even " how do I talk about what I want in bed in a hook up?" I think the reason is people assume sexual compatibility to folks there attracted to which is fine for imagining but I'm interaction can go poorly regardless of gender. And just because one doesn't want to have sex with someone doesn't make that attraction invalid. I would argue that saying that is transphobic ( you were hot but gross you have a clit vs you're hot but I don't think sex is gonna work out). Does that make sense? I'm a little burned out on this topic but if you wanna start postulating on how to do those conversations that'd be wholesome. From your response you sound like you already do about your desires. But that's not the loaded keg Destiny kicked, it's not what most trans people are asking for. Most trans people are not demanding cis people have sex with them, we're demanding folks to stop talking about us like we're trickster predators or being shitty to us. Again you are not the problem at all. What you're talking about or at least towards ( how do/ to state sexual pref/genital compatibility with trans people) is a reasonable discussion - or can be- but it's not what people are doing when they use what is perceived as transphobic dog whistles.

[@SexPun48]

But I dont like peepees

[@imthebadguy3225]

What's the deal with the corn?

[@SophiaOyler]

I have to wonder if Destiny would say the same thing about a partner finding out their date is uncircumcised and not being into that. There are a LOT of people in the US specifically that not only find uncircumcised penises unattractive but extremely unclean by their very nature. Is it that person's responsibility to actively tell every potential partner that their penis is uncircumcised? Is it important for a cis woman to tell every potential partner that she has larger than average labia or a vaginal canal that can't support penises larger than 6 inches? It's absolutely insane to expect trans people to actively word vomit about their genitals to every partner and not cis people with genitalia that might have unattractive features to some people. How about we just gracefully accept it when we find out and decline to proceed with intercourse?

[@d3l3tes00n]

Those things aren't connected to orientation, though, so he wouldn't see them as the same.

[@SophiaOyler]

@@d3l3tes00n I would argue that, while the things I listed don't fall under orientation, orientation itself is an umbrella for shorthand terms that easily explain certain characteristics we're attracted to. So while the things I listed aren't under the umbrella, they are adjacent in that they are sexual characteristics that one can be attracted to or not. So regardless of if it's under the umbrella of orientation, they are still similar aspects that, for whatever reason, do not require prior admittence like so many people think being transgender is.

[@d3l3tes00n]

@@SophiaOyler It's really just about homophobia. Cis straight men are afraid they'll be attracted to a women who they discover has a penis & then OMG THEY'RE GAY. It's really ridiculous.

[@JuiciferPandoraRex]

"slime sheath?!" 😍

[@singularity___]

Holy fuck dude 12:50 was kind of intimidating

[@numnut154]

You should absolutely be upfront about who you are and what you're into if you're getting in to a sexual relationship, this isn't something that only applies to trans people it applies to everyone. That said did Destiny specifically mention trans people at all, did he say something on a stream or is this just twitter?

[@kropokoko]

PepeLa D-Platformed

[@ShawnWeeded510]

I agree with Destiny to some degree but his tweet was worded like garbage.

[@immortalsirens4644]

I just loves u jake u r a hero for all humans♡species

[@UploaderNine]

Who the fuck is destiny?

[@sillygreen89]

Not that closeup on his thin, crusty whiteboy lips tho.

[@explodingcrack435]

Fight fight fight! Kiss kiss kiss!

[@CynicalBastard]

23:40 - Jake, you are trying so hard to justify the unjustifiable. LOL

[@fighttheevilrobots3417]

I wish I had learned this when I was younger. I had sex with so many people I didn't want to because I didn't want to be called transphobic by my community or hurt anyone's feelings.

[@sfred2590]

I mean... this is kind of the point of Destiny's argument? That it's unfair and coercive to put people in a situation where they have to reject someone on the spot in the middle of a sexual encounter. His position is advocating for informed consent before a hook up happens. Jake and other leftists for some reason are arguing against that. They're the ones saying it isn't at all predatory to "mislead someone about genitals" and not tell them until you're already having sex. To me that's just wildly indefensible and really disappointing from a community that usually advocates for informed consent.

[@faenen91]

Rejection is not the end of the world? Setting sexual boundaries can be a polite ,even kind, non issue? Also no one is misleading folks. Folks be leading themselves to their own assumptions. If a woman has a masectomy and wears a padded bra and you don't like it do you say she assaulted or coerced you? Or just say no thanks I don't want to continue? Also in the real world trans woman are the ones targeted for violence for disclosing. They do so early and with a lot of stress ( do it in a public place or place in my bio) then get harassed or attacked. And most killings of trans woman by partners are not from panicked straight men who didn't know but from partners who are worries about their rep when others find out.

[@fighttheevilrobots3417]

@@sfred2590 I am a leftist. My community was leftist. I disagree a lot with most of what Destiny says and I find him to be really dangerously lacking in empathy and emotion in general. I don't hate the guy but I would not want to be his friend. I find his personality to be mean. None of the trans people I had sex with were "hiding" their genitalia or being actively cruel. I just didn't want to have sex with them. I knew that within my community trans people, especially trans women were considered to be the ultimate beauty standard. I know that in society trans women are targeted, harassed, and murdered. I marched and organized for trans rights because I knew that we all need to fight for our collective liberation, but I also was raised in a way, that meant I didn't understand consent. And in my community, trans women had a lot of power. For years I was considered to be one of less attractive because I am a fat cis woman who DOESN'T have a penis. I know this can be hard to understand because the communities I ran in were so different than most of society. I knew that if I didn't sleep with these folks, 3 people in particular, I would be labeled a transphobe. If I was labeled a transphobe, I could lose my housing, my friends, and possibly my safety. So I had sex with them when they wanted. They are not bad people. I just wish I understood consent better and felt like I could say no to their advances without losing material support. I became pregnant with one young woman and miscarried. It really affected my mental health. There were other issues not connected to sex or gender. I had to leave. When I returned to the community to gather my book collection I had a gun aimed at me by the woman. I was the first person she came out as trans to so it was really really heartbreaking. I found out that they had gathered my clothes shoes and furniture and burnt them in a bonfire , they hated me so much. I was slandered on the internet as a transphobe in the end anyway. In 2018 I left the state where I had lived for 14 years and disconnected from all social media to try to heal. I am not a transphobe. I remain a fierce leftist.

[@DarkusaurusRexStuff]

DesTINY caught in 4K

[@avalus6]

What if you're into feet, and you are talking to someone who's missing a toe on their left foot and that would be a turn off to you. Is it "tantamount to sexual assault" if they don't tell you that before you engage in any sexual act? Like what is the limit to this thought process? If you take this idea to its limit, you would need to give the person a full up-to- date report of your physical exam or risk "sexually assaulting" them, right?

[@markdavis5029]

Objectifying trans women as a popped tire (29:47). As a cis man I am going to cancel you on my discord @ActualJake, your days are numbered!!!1!!

[@antilife3460]

🤦🏻‍♂️

[@thoomolong]

This video should get ratioed.

[@TheSaberWolfDuchess]

I get the feeling Jake is a bad kisser. Couldn't tell you why.

[@shannond1511]

Are you crazy or something? He definitely isnt. Didnt you hear him tell us? Duhhh (Im kidding)