Did Jesus Allow Some Divorce? | Karlo Broussard | Catholic Answers Focus

In Matthew's Gospel, Jesus seems to soften his usual crystal-clear teaching against divorce. But what is he saying? Is he saying that adultery is an exception that allows for divorce? Karlo Broussard tackles this tough question.
Transcript:
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[@AdamtheGrey02]

Imagine thinking man has the power to separate what God has joined together with the words: "I want a divorce."

[@EmmyGace]

"Nobody believes in divorce anymore. What is it? Just some words mumbled over you by a judge." - Cary Grant's character in His Girl Friday

[@josephscala6707]

God has joined joined them together. Man has.

[@SaintCharbelMiracleworker]

"Marriage is a duel to the death which no man of honor should decline." - GK Chesterton

[@ericleming1734]

I believe that Jesus does allow Divorces. God bless you Saint Charbel Miracleworker •.

[@asdfasdf3989]

@@ericleming1734 Why do you say that?

[@grant2149]

​@@ericleming1734false

[@miguelinteriano125]

Difficult to accept but we must,

[@nanagaga2001]

This is the first in depth discussion of this particular passage that I've heard. Very clear and understandable. Thanks Karlo

[@analuciasequeiracastro9132]

This was a great episode. I love CA Focus. Great job, Cy. God bless your work.

[@randomandcycle]

Thank you Karlo and Cy, I am enlighten with the explanation regarding marriage particularly divorce and remarriage

[@healhands5760]

thank you this CLEARLY answered my question in mind. because i really thought divorce is allowed in case of caught immorality.

[@philipbuckley759]

fornication.....and that is not adultery.....ergo a false teaching..

[@healhands5760]

@@philipbuckley759 and since when God allowed fornication?

[@MrMmorales1234]

Thank you for this video! I was wondering how to answer this question for sometime, since my friend challenged my idea of not getting divorced after marriage.

[@borneandayak6725]

Amazing explanation

[@tracemcgoatly8571]

This topic is super personal because my mom divorced her former husband and then married my dad

[@philipbuckley759]

which means that she was living in adultery.....

[@GustavoNYC80]

This was very helpful! Thank you!!

[@sloanjackson8]

Thank you!

[@marilynyoung8477]

I was married to an alcoholic and drug abuser. I was physically and verbally abused daily. I got a divorce and an annulment. I finally married someone wonderful and now have a daughter, son-in-law and grandson.

[@Tatiana-cp1fc]

Jesus knew all the sins that would take place in a marriage before calling it permanent. Infidelity, abuse and alcohol does not justify divorce and remarriage. 99% of annulments are not of God.

[@lucascesar029]

I really don't want to ofend you and sorry if i do, but how did you marry him without knowing he was an alcoholic and drug abuser? Did he perfectly hide that to you? Or did he become like that after the marriage?

[@Kitiwake]

@@Tatiana-cp1fc if they are pronounced by the church who are you to say?

[@Tatiana-cp1fc]

@@Kitiwake Exactly. It's one of the reasons I've lost faith in the church. One of many reasons...

[@kristinakristensen3620]

@@Tatiana-cp1fc when you come into the faith, you shouldn't do it because of other people, but because of God. So don´t leave the church or lose faith in the church because of people either.

[@kingdom.citizen]

Not catholic, but great understanding of this passage.

[@heru-deshet359]

I married in the Catholic church to a Catholic woman. I was 23 and she 19. I joined the Navy seven years later and while away I discovered my wife was having an affair with another man who wanted to marry her and raise my children. After much heartache I forgave her, but she committed adultery twice more and then told me she didn't love me anymore. She wanted a divorce and I did it blaming her adultery. I met a wonderful woman whom I married 36 years ago and have a daughter with her. I have not been able to receive sacraments because I'm divorced and have though of an annulment, which I've been told I can get because of the circumstances that caused the divorce. I plan to do it soon before God calls me so I can return to church, confession, mass and Holy communion again. However, my wife is a non practicing protestant whom I consider a much better Christian than myself and she will never become a Catholic. Will I still remain in grace and her be spiritually safe?

[@thienlo]

I wonder why nobody replies to your comment. I think before you marrying in Catholic church they will tell you and explain marriage and consequence of divorce. They make it clear for you. If your church didn't do that, it might be a problem.

[@carlosojeda7257]

Grounds for Marriage Annulment in the Catholic Church. PDF en Google. Laci of knowledge is grounds for annulment. Take a look. May the Holy Spirit lead You on this issue. Let the Churc also guide you and be humble to accept the teachings.

[@Kitiwake]

Karlo is the best.

[@bigdogboos1]

goodness, that was one of the longest drawn out answers ever. Jesus was teaching divorce if the other was found to have fornicated prior to the marriage. That was grounds ... which lines up with OT teaching.

[@southernlady1109]

Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, that whoever will have separated from his wife, except because of fornication, and who will have married another, commits adultery, and whoever will have married her who has been separated, commits adultery.” This verse is from The Holy Catholic Bible.

[@tonyl3762]

Over on the St Paul Center channel, the point was made that Jesus' enemies may have been trying to get Him in the same trouble that John the Baptist got into.

[@AdaraBalabusta]

If Jesus allowed divorce and remarriage after a valid marriage because one of the spouses committed adultery, all that a married person would have to do is to arrange for his/her spouse to be tempted sufficiently to commit adultery just one time. It is clear that such was not His intention. Many years later, Paul gives the followers of Jesus several reasons for which they might separate from their spouses, but Paul does not indicate permission to divorce and to remarry but to separate. HTH.

[@Rendasd]

Well, guess I can't be Catholic then. My ex-wife committed adultery, we got a divorce, she remarried and had children and still with her husband, and I remarried and have children and still with my wife. So does that mean I have 0 hope in becoming a Catholic? Should I be looking somewhere else for a Religion? I believe in Christ and pray to the Almighty daily, and read the Bible regularly. Again, will I then not be allowed to the Catholic faith and be denied? Does it help that our union was by a Judge rather than a Priest? This is important questions.

[@ez1506]

Try getting an annulment! Basically the church decides if your first marriage was a true real marriage or not.

[@philipbuckley759]

the Bible calls your marriage adultery.....

[@Rendasd]

@@philipbuckley759 Yeah I posted this almost a year ago, moved long past the western catholic doctrine. Could have gotten the annulment after speaking to the priests about how it all happened but again, choose not to go through with it. Thats between me and God at this point. So be it.

[@John_811KJV]

*Remarriage after Divorce while 1st Spouse Lives = Adultery* Romans 7:2-3 Adulterers Do Not Inherit the Kingdom of God: 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Unless they Confess and Forsake: Proverbs 28:13; Luke 13:3

[@AdaraBalabusta]

Luke 16:18

[@lidiamichael3582]

@6:20...I get your point, but if Jesus was speaking Aramaic, he didn't use 2 different words. He would have said "You are Kepha and on this kepha I will build my church."

[@nikolaidick7238]

@@lidiamichael3582 if

[@nikmakris4873]

I don’t think it was addressed in the video but why do Mark and Luke not mention the case of πορνεια

[@grant2149]

Excatly. Matthew was for Jews. Mark and Luke written to us gentiles. There si No divorce. Period.

[@user-op7uc6jb9k]

Hillel was the spirit. Shamai was the law.

[@jeffrice1368]

Borderline personality disorders, some cases of schizophrenia and bipolar, covert narcissistic personality disorders where “love bombing”or sexual immorality is typically used to entrap or minipulate a person forming early false bonds in the name of love are foundational inadequacies for courtship and marriage that are not founded on truth and typically end brutally as a result. God is sound mind and we are called to be of sound mind through obedience to the commandments basing our unions accordingly and not on immorality. I believe the root cause for immorality is directly related to certain types of mental illness that are causing it as well and is the absence of sound mind and inflict harm to mental health and are one and the same. “Satin is the liar and lunatic from the beginning.”

[@BelieverinChrist4ever]

the only thing im still confused about is why would the apostles respond the way they did if this is the case for marriage then its not expedient to marry? like, its not convenient? and then throwing in the "well no one should get married now" Why this reaction from the disciples if it would make sense that people shouldn't marry their step mothers or half siblings or whatnot... ugh scripture is so hard to understand. I trust in the church and its teaching but this particular explanation helped but didn't help lol. pray for my ignorance to be lifted

[@Seraphicmode]

Because of the fact that he is telling them they can’t under ordinary circumstances (man + woman who aren’t related or in a valid marriage with someone else). The thing is, he is essentially telling them “Unless your marriage was never valid to begin with, because your spouse happens to be a close relative, albeit the opposite sex and capable of having children nonetheless, or because of the practice of polygamy, you are bound to a single person and not all nor with a relative.

[@philipbuckley759]

@@Seraphicmode what would make a marriage invalid...

[@Madman-2023]

So What God has bonded let no man asunder but then God also tells Peter what you bond and loose on earth it is also bond and loose in heaven... but apparently the Church has no authority to loosen marriages??? 😅 God can bind people together but he can't unbind them??? 😐

[@footspike55]

I feel like this isn’t all that convincing, it seems very hard to make “you can’t get divorced except…” mean “you can’t ever get divorced”

[@eddiehernandez7806]

That's what Jesus the "Lord" says.

[@NevetsWC1134]

It also clarifies later that you should not remarry.

[@asdfasdf3989]

@@eddiehernandez7806 Why the quotes?

[@KingdomDaugterofChrist]

it was permitted because of moses but God hates it Jesus said from the start it was so.

[@philipbuckley759]

what about Joseph and Mary....

[@karenramnath9993]

Would the meaning of the particular word they are discussing not include adultery as well as incest or fornication? I think it would...the terms are not exclusive of each other. Any physical sex that happens voluntarily outside of the bounds of one’s marriage is breaking the bond of marriage in favor of creating an alternate bond. I think that depending on the situation (everyone’s situation is different) a one-time event could possibly be worked through, and the marriage bond has a possibility of being mended/rebuilt. But infidelity is often a pattern; if spouse A is not repenting and changing that behavior of unfaithfulness, then spouse B would not be wrong for legalizing on paper the breaking of that marital bond that spouse A had already caused, which is what divorce is. Spouse A would be wrong to remarry, as he/she was the one to voluntarily break that bond. Spouse B would not be wrong to remarry, as the broken bond was not their fault.

[@philipbuckley759]

adultery is not the exception...

[@alonsoACR]

That's why he started by explaining why it does NOT include adultery. Later did he explain what it DOES include.

[@TaraJoBean29]

Protestant pastors and Catholic priests alike are causing a lot of heartbreak by not making sure couples are prepared and a good fit. People are entering into lifelong commitment and having children without understanding the implications, what marriage as a sacrament means, and without objectively evaluating their relationship and/or partner. Pastors aren't doing their jobs and then are there to tell people the great news that they are bound for life. This disservice to the people has to to change.

[@daviddsouza735]

True. I have a feeling that marriages are done and recorded as parish feats that are sent to higher authorities so as to show the parish is working hard to increase numbers of the church

[@982Chloe]

My soon to be ex, said he was drunk when we got married in church. He wasn’t in his right state of mind, currently pregnant 🤰🏻 with 5th child, I have restraining order because he tried to kill me and my baby. Found him with a teenager having sex on our 13th wedding anniversary. So mine was fake?

[@philipbuckley759]

the Bible does not seem to address this....

[@HossJr]

Some medicine tastes bad to some, others find it akin to candy. No matter, the medicine does the same to both, it heals. God makes laws and precepts to help us, not hinder us: "that it might go well with you, that you might live"

[@cliff638]

I think another angle to explore is that the ancient Jews (if I've heard correctly) had a custom of the engagement period, of about one year, being almost the same as marriage, except without sex and living together. If the man believed his betrothed wife-to-be had cheated on him, I think he would have to give her a certificate of divorce to annul the marriage (even though it hadn't been consumated yet). As the suspected offense on her part would have technically been fornication rather than adultery, this would explain why Matthew quotes Jesus using pornea (fornication) to refer to the offense, rather than adultery. Of course the incestuous marriage situations described by the hosts of this show would also be valid reasons to end some marriages too. Also, I'm not sure why any rabbis back then (Jesus or otherwise) would have debated whether adultery is grounds for divorce when the law of Moses stated it to be a death by stoning offense for both the adulteress and the man she slept with (maybe the Romans wouldn't let the Sanhedrin Jewish court pronounce death sentences on people) and I don't see how a man in ancient Judea could commit adultery i(provided he had sex with an unmarried woman) since polygamy was a normal practice from the days of Abraham, right through the first century CE, and therefore any mistress would probably be considered a concubine or maybe an additional wife.

[@alonsoACR]

The engagement period can contain sex, but it was discouraged. So that's not it. Edit: I did a quick reread and you said "consummated". That's a very valid point. As per Genesis, and per Jesus' quotes of it, there's an implication that a marriage isn't fully ratified until the first night. You enter marriage through sex (which has history in early Judaism, see Isaac's marriage with Rebekah, and 1 Cor 6:16 with Paul implying sleeping with a prostitute is like marrying her) In any case, the word πορνεία just means sexual immorality. As generically as you can take it. See it like this: "There's no divorce unless it's sexually immoral not to do so" This is the only way to view that also because any other interpretation would directly contradict that it's impossible to separate what God joined through the human will, said right before that. Not all Jewish adulterers were executed. The Sanhedrin did have the authority to give out the death penalty, as long as it's under the supervision/approval of the Prefect. There's one famous Biblical example of an execution through crucifixion, pushed by the Sanhedrin. Thing is, the Sanhedrin didn't have these rights beyond the Judaea. Polygamy was certainly not a normal practice. Rabbis always disallowed it. Every case of polygamy in Scripture is shown in a negative light or has God showing explicit disapproval. Abraham is one such case. "Fun" fact: The first polygamist in Genesis was a serial killer. You can ask a Rabbi today, in 2024, and see for yourself. They all agree it's pretty clear. A man sleeping with another woman is a grave sin.

[@philipbuckley759]

that seems to be the issue, with Joseph and Mary....

[@alexandregb566]

What is the name of the two schools of thought between the Jews on marriage? I want to search on that.

[@philipbuckley759]

it was in another dispensation....but this may be what you are looking for...Hillel and Shammai

[@noelko8038]

Donot used petros and petras in mathew 16:18 you are missleading you are like a protestant The Original manuscript was written in Aramaic not in Greek And jesus its impossible he mentioned petros and petras Becaused he speak Aramaic not Greek

[@lorraineklimek1677]

Dr. Brant Pitre makes the same argument.

[@VO_JayRedding]

But if your married outside of The Church it's an invalid marriage, right?

[@devonlammers7817]

It’s invalid if one of the members are Catholic. The church recognizes other religious marriages if neither spouse is Catholic. With that, a non Catholic ,who is seeking a second marriage within the Catholic Church, needs an annulment just as a Catholic would

[@philipbuckley759]

any marriage, under any culture...if not one would have to remarry or separate, on conversion....does this happen...

[@jamesmonahan9408]

What about Mark 10:11-12? I thought a woman could not divorce her husband in those times. Is it divorce or separation without divorce?

[@DanielJohn2300]

Jewish women couldn't divorce a husband, but I think Greek women could.

[@jamesmonahan9408]

@@DanielJohn2300 Ohhhhh. There is so much learning to understand the bible. Life long process

[@user-op7uc6jb9k]

Actually, that's not correct. The Old testament mentions divorce several times. In Judaism divorce is a "get" which is a decree that states the marriage essentially has never happened. Jewish people at this time were getting divorced. There was actually a problem in the 2nd through 4th centuries where Jewish men were leaving wives without the get and remarrying other women. Some believe Jesus is referencing this situation which would make a lot of sense.

[@jamesmonahan9408]

@@user-op7uc6jb9k Thanks for this. I heard that. I often wonder about men killed in wars and never heard of again. Heard of men leaving without any word to the woman. I'd like to find a serious discussion on this topic from the Jewish roots.

[@Myguyver]

So my understanding is 1- the only valid marriage is in the Catholic church 2- all other marriages - civil , protestant churches, other religions marriages are invalid. 3- there's no divorce in the catholic church . Separation without remarriage and reconciliation is an option . If I miss something or misunderstood please feel free to reply . Thank you God bless

[@isoldam]

No to number 1. Marriages, Catholic or not, are considered valid by The Church, unless they are proved to be invalid. A non sacramental marriage is considered a 'natural' marriage, but it is still considered valid. There are specific conditions under which a marriage can be considered invalid. For example, coercion, lack of maturity, lying about intentions of faithfulness or children. The canon law says "a marriage can be declared null only when consent was given in the presence of some grave lack of discretionary judgment regarding the essential rights and obligations of marriage, or of some real incapacity to assume these essential obligations."

[@Jesusgirl00]

Also, what is considered marriage in the catholic faith? Or what qualifies aomeone to be considered married? Do people have to get re married in a way if theyre legally married then become catholic? Sorry, i have so many questions out of genuine curiosity. Earlier it was purgatory now its this lol❤🙏

[@davidcole333]

Catholic marriage is when a man and woman, who are both baptized in the Catholic Church, are married by a priest (or deacon) in the Catholic church. If a non-Catholic man and non-Catholic woman are married in a Protestant church, the Catholic church considers this marriage also. If a marriage by either Catholic or a non-Catholic couple happen outside of a church, such as in a justice of the peace, or at a park, that is considered a civil union. Such marriages can be honored in the Catholic church if both spouses are baptized into the Catholic church and then have their marriage blessed by a priest (This process is known as convalidation.) So the short answer, if you're married, then are baptized Catholic, then you just do a convalidation ceremony, which is simply exchanging vows, in the Catholic church with a witness. I have gone through the convalidation process myself, it's very simple. I really hope this helps...best wishes in your search for answers. God bless you sister.

[@brandonwhite3899]

I wanna know whether marriage is valid or not if ine or both parties are narcissists.....................?????????????

[@grant2149]

Hebrews 13:4. Marriage is honourable amongst all. Once married it is a covenent for life

[@men.276]

Most issues in life aren't black and white. They are gray. Gods ministers and priest have been ministering to those in the gray area for a long time. I dont for once think the Lord would want any abused women or man to remain married and not be able to be happy again. God has Mercy and Grace for everyone no matter the sin. Over analzying things and words and meanings are used to justify positions but arent necessarily right or the right thing to do. The women caught in adultery according to scripture was worthy of Stoning but we see Jesus and the Mercy of God intervene and give Grace. Good priest and good people of God are always ready to offer Grace. Legalist always find ways to use the Law against others.

[@carissahanson9887]

I watched a video on canon law which explains annulment divorce and separation in great detail it would explain it in a way that nobody would have doubt I would check online for a Cannon lawyer or read some documents there are certain criteria that should be met for an annulment there are much more explanations than can be done Justice by this video

[@hannahs4779]

I agree! divorce is the best thing to do in the case of spousal emotional/physical abuse. Sure some couples can ‘get over’ adultery however this is very unhealthy for children to witness. Children understand more than adults give them credit for. I wouldn’t hesitate to divorce a cheating spouse. The Cheater is responsible for ruining the family it’s not up to the innocent spouse to try to make it work at the detriment of their mental health when truthfully the trust will never be truly repaired.

[@marilynyoung8477]

Thank you for saying this.

[@stutterstudios4731]

I hear you, brother. God doesn’t want anybody to remain in an abusive relationship, but that doesn’t immediately mean that they are free to marry again. We should take Jesus’ words with great care, and ensure that we’re not just following our emotions, but that we’re trying to following God’s law, as that’s where we find God. Thanks

[@Miguel-ez6sh]

Yes, Jesus forgave the adulterous woman, but let's look at the rest of that passage. "And Jesus said: Neither will I condemn thee. Go, and now sin no more." He forgave her, and instructed her to stop sinning, not to "stop overanalyzing things." It's all too easy for us to make up our own idea of Jesus, and start to worship that version of him that exists in our heads. It is important for us to remember one key fact though- we are not God. Who are we to look at God's commandments, and say that things aren't so black and white? Who are we, fallen human beings, to tell God His plan for our salvation is too difficult, or to suggest that He will save us no matter what we do? Why do we only do this with God? God is personal, and real, He isn't some abstract concept we set up in our heads. God does give us His mercy and His grace - He loves us immeasurably - and He does so through His Church, and separating ourselves from the Church and trying to receive grace is like leaving your kitchen to try to find a good meal in your bathroom.

[@glasscleaner4439]

If I’m remarried, can I be baptized without an annulment?

[@ElianaPiano]

This would be a good question for your local priest. The fact that you were not baptized when you were previously married should make the process easier.

[@davidcole333]

Yes you can be baptized without an annulment. However, should you and your current spouse want to have your marriage recognized by the Catholic Church, your case will be assigned to a deacon. The deacon will give you some paperwork to give to your ex spouse. If your ex refuses to fill it out and send it in, or he/she gives negative answers, then you actually wouldn't be granted an annulment, the marriage would be considered dissolved on the basis of 1 Corinthians 7:12-15, no annulment needed. If you want your new marriage to be blessed and honored by the Catholic church, then you both need to be baptized into the church and have a convalidation ceremony. Convalidation is a process where your vows are renewed in the church and the service is performed by a priest or deacon. Once this is done, your marriage is blessed by the church. I had the same situation as you. My wife and I went through RCIA, were baptized, then the information on my wife's first marriage was sent to our diocese to be considered. Their determination after her ex sent back in the paperwork, my wife's marriage was considered "dissolved." I hope I understood your question correctly and this helped. But I agree with the other poster here, definitely go talk to a priest or deacon.

[@grant2149]

You are living in adultery

[@thienlo]

@@davidcole333 wait, you can do that? Marry as non-Catholic and then divorce. Join in Catholic and remarry. Who told you you can do that? I was taught that you marry one time only unless marry is not legit you can remarry.

[@alonsoACR]

​​@@thienlo It's the "Pauline privilege" This matters when the marriage wasn't Christian, and thus God's name wasn't invoked. It's up to you to decide after your conversion to the Church whether to preserve your pagan marriage. Paul encourages you to do so: "Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife" - 1 Cor 7:16 You only have that option once. The moment you get baptized and you consent to keep it (by going through the ceremony), so be it. See 1 Cor 7:12-16

[@Hamann9631]

20:20. Huh? Jesus talked about putting away (divorce). A pairing which isn't allowed to marry wouldn't be able to divorce (put away). So, Jesus was probably not talking about people without real marriages splitting.

[@bwoutchannel6356]

Jesus is said to have come to fulfill the law so in that light how does this explanation make it legitimate.

[@asdfasdf3989]

Make what legitimate?

[@IloveJesusChristNowandForever]

So is the reason most Jewish marriages would be invalid because most people in that cultural context didn't actually leave their parents to cling to their wives?

[@shihyuchu6753]

He not only FORGIVES divorce...but any manner of sins.

[@eddiehernandez7806]

If the person repentance and reconcile with there spouse

[@shihyuchu6753]

@@eddiehernandez7806 Bull

[@NevetsWC1134]

@@shihyuchu6753 To the married I give this command-not I but the Lord-that the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does separate, let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband) and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

[@shihyuchu6753]

@@NevetsWC1134 So a 2nd marriage should be divorced to go back to the original?/

[@averytheloftier]

Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? Never!

[@JustinWest]

2nd

[@Hamann9631]

This comment is before watching the video. This is a reaction to the title. Matthew 19:9 "...except it be for fornication,..." is what Jesus said. "Except" means that is an allowance.

[@grant2149]

Exactly. Easy straight forward crystal clear.

[@denisemullarkey5117]

I am civilly divorcedbut still married sacrametally

[@Paul-qr7hu]

'tidbit'. Not titbit. Just saying

[@matthewhavemercyonmeimasin1500]

anglican church .. a catholic but with divorce

[@gerlandkent6377]

ADULTRY, IS A MORTAL SIN.

[@lynnehood2198]

Very often Divorce is a great thing- do it any way and then file an appeal. We are all at the mercy of God.

[@roxxiefoxx2884]

So there's just no hope? We will always be adulterers? Theres no grace? What's the point of living or trying to do right if we cant? We're doomed. No grace. My soul is crushed that I can never be pleasing to God or be anything more than some dirty adulteress. Cast out to live in shame.

[@AdaraBalabusta]

No. If you are a Catholic, please consult a well-qualified Priest. If you are a Protestant, please consult a well-qualified member of your clergy. You can definitely be forgiven for adultery if you are repentant; however, whether you may remarry after divorce is a matter that requires a Declaration of Nullity if you are a Catholic or if you wish to marry a Catholic.

[@michaelgardner835]

Protestism is the road to relativism.

[@danvankouwenberg7234]

Catholicism is hyper-biblical.