Discussing Pet Loss and Grief While Feeding My Reptiles

#pets #animal #animals #reptiles #gecko #reptile
Hey everyone, today's video is a little different. I decided to reflect on this year a bit and dive into the topic of grief, which has been a major theme for this year (truthfully, the last few). I ask that you are respectful toward me and more importantly one another in the comments.
Timestamps by topic
00:01 Intro and disclaimers
01:08 The death of Franklin
01:28 Welcoming home Nanami the tegu
01:51 The death of Nova
02:38 The death of Nanami
05:01 Where I'm at now with grief and guilt
06:58 Duality
07:41 Will I ever have a bearded dragon or tegu again?
08:36 Updates on home renovation and moving
10:09 Daily vlogging on TikTok
Timestamps by species
00:01 Blue tongue skink
00:18 Uromastyx
00:25 Axolotl
00:38 Garter snakes
01:48 White's tree frogs
03:00 Chubby frog
03:18 African fat tail geckos
03:30 Leopard geckos
09:39 Fire skink
09:51 Tiger salamander
10:05 Crested geckos & gargoyle gecko
10:51 Leachianus gecko
Some of my reptiles were being stinkers and either didn't eat on camera or were too challenging to grab a clip of. I will leave a list here!
Ree, all of my yellow bellied toads, Oberyn, Nymeria, Ron, Fugaku
FEEDER INSECTS (affiliate links)
USE CODE JESSICASANIMALFRIENDS FOR 10% OFF
Discoid Roaches: www.ovipost.com/jessicasanimalfriends
Superworms: www.ovipost.co...
Black Soldier Fly Larvae ecoflys.com/?r...
COOL REPTILE ENCLOSURES (affiliate links):
Zen Habitats www.zenhabitats...
Custom Reptile Habitats customreptileh...
All American Cages allamericancag...
AMAZON AFFILIATE SHOP:
www.amazon.com...
WAYS TO SUPPORT MY ANIMAL FRIENDS:
Patreon: / jessicasanimalfriends
Merch: teespring.com/...
Donate: paypal.me/jess...
Amazon Wishlist: www.amazon.com...
WHERE TO FIND MY ANIMAL FRIENDS:
Instagram: / jessicasanimalfriends
Facebook: / jessicasanimalfriends
Tik Tok: / jessicasanimalfriends
Threads: www.threads.ne...
WHERE TO FIND ME:
Side KZbin Channel: / justjessica
Instagram: / jessicafennen
Tik Tok: / jessicafennen
CONTACT:
I am available by email here: [e-mail]
I am available through Instagram DMs (@ jessicasanimalfriends)
If you have questions about your pets, the best place to reach me is on Patreon, as I get direct notifications whenever I get a DM

[@JessicasAnimalFriends]

hey everyone! this is a late video today because it is a reupload, so i apologize!

[@danielanoll4069]

Dear Jessica, I'm sure others have told you this too, you don't deserve to punish yourself with these feelings of guilt. You are doing such amazing work for so many animals in need! I plan to start keeping bearded dragons once my own housing situation is secure enough, and you are one of the people who inspire me to give a home to older and/or special needs dragons. Maybe I'll have a proper little sanctuary one day, it's only an idea right now but seeing you do the same for leopard geckos helps me to take the first steps. I'm so happy I found your channel! Tough topic in this video, and something that already worries me a bit, but the pictures are adorable! Look after yourself and good luck with the building work!

[@CiderSkull_Gecko]

My condolences to you for your loss. I have been going through loss myself for the past 2 years. I lost 3 of the 4 childhood family pets. First was Wally, 12 year old tabby cat. He died unexpectantly when he went to the vet to check on his health. First he was dehydrated and diabetic, which was new. But when they put him under to test, he passed on the table. The vet said it was very rare for this to happen only happened once or twice in their entire career. Then Daisy, 12 year old mutt. Her kidneys were failing and we euthanized her after her belly got swollen, she was in discomfort, and struggle to get up or walk. And only about a month ago, her brother, Copper, 12 years old mutt, was euthanized because he was no long having solid poop and in discomfort. He had a mass in his stomach and it continued to get larger and larger until it was too much. The last cat, Waldo, is a year older than Wally now and he is thinner than he used to be, his time might come soon too. Its tough and everyone grieves differently, but we must keep going. R.I.P. to all pets who've passed on. 🌈🐾🐾🐾🌈

[@t.mahoney9817]

Jessica, I’m so glad you sought the support you needed to understand grief. Death is a part of EVERY life. It is inevitable no matter how much we attempt to deny it. Instead of fearing death it can help to understand it. I too am deeply affected by death of pets, even to the point I couldn’t have another in my home for decades. Raised as Catholic, I was told only people have souls that will go to Heaven. While I heard it, there was no way I could believe that. Seeing & feeling the love & devotion from animals every day told me they had caring souls capable of love as much as we are. It wasn’t until my heart stopped after surgery that I truly understood life & death. We are born to make connections & fall in love with other living beings. The strongest connections (i.e., Love) are eternal & stronger than space & time. When our physical bodies wear out, we are able to spend eternity together forever in Heaven. And I can confirm with complete certainty, that includes ALL living beings. I’m so glad you are learning to forgive yourself. No one is perfect. I can tell the way your “scaley-babies” love you & seem so grateful for every squirmy worm/bug you feed them, they would not want you blaming yourself. Bless you for your devotion & hard work caring for them and educating the rest of us so we can do a better job for our own as well. YOU ARE AMAZING!! 🥰💚🦎 And CONGRATS on your new house -I can’t wait to see it!! 🏡

[@xratedattraction]

You have no idea how much I needed this video and didn't know I did. I've been going through alot of the same the past year, i do reptile rescue as well as hospice for Chihuahuas. I feel your pain, love, and dedication ❤

[@AllieAtkinson]

I lost my 16-year-old cat Calzini and his nine-year-old sister Balance within five weeks! One was a peaceful calm ‘chosen’ death due to illness where I had six days to snuggle and tell him how much I loved him and think of so many memories. The other was a violent death while I was away looking after someone else’s pet. The last seven months have been hard! I’ve just moved into a new home and I’d love to consider another furbaby but I live on a very busy road. I’d LOVE to get a leopard gecko (one of the only species of lizard/reptile that can be kept in NZ) but my budget simply doesn’t stretch that far currently. Dreaming of the future. Sending you a lot of love 💕

[@cara9648]

I think guilt can be crushing, and be really hard to overcome. It's great that you're going to a professional to get the help you need. You do deserve forgiveness from yourself ♥️

[@carsonhawley8838]

I had a pair of milk frogs that passed away. They had a number of skeletal and neurological issues and after many months trying to nurse them to a stable state, they eventually drowned in a 1/2 inch of water. I really felt like I had screwed up, that my judgement lapsed and I let them down. Things are better now, but I still find myself stepping aside to take a deep breath and purge the pent up guilt. This hobby has broken my heart a couple times, but the joy of giving these animals the best life possible outweighs the sadness of saying goodbye. I hope we all take your words of encouragement to heart.

[@juliemoore2536]

Thank you this. I feel silly even commenting this but, my son's leo ( I LOVE SO) is super ill and vet told me she won't last much longer, to do your best, intil it's time 😢. I am shocked how attached I am to her. It breaks my heart and my son is sad, but processes differently as a child, understandably. I've lost many pets over the last decades, but it was different. I also wanted to say renovating can b3 cathartic 😊. It was for me. Good luck to you both. God bless! Thank you for sharing.

[@Milquetoast702]

I was thinking of duality even before you spoke of it- but in another way. Your empathy and compassion -the need to care for animals with special needs not every person can take on these animals. But on the other side is why it completely takes over everything in your life. Like to love so hard you equally lose as hard. I hope you give yourself grace .

[@michelleb9128]

You deserve all the forgiveness. I am also struggling with Lumi’s death. I am trying to understand that I did the very best I could for her with the information provided and symptoms presented. I feel I failed her terribly. I want to thank you for all your guidance and compassion during the recent loss of my leopard gecko, even though you yourself have been struggling. I wish you continued progress in your therapy. Jessica, I admire all you do for these little souls.

[@calicocriterisopod]

My deepest condolences. Loosing a pet stabs me in the heart… it makes me so guilty and you are not alone with that feeling. Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts. Immense thank you. 7:08 Needed this

[@MiaMeaowCat]

All the nom, noms in these videos while you speak are adorable. I just hot a bearded dragon name toothless, and im in awe and have been wondering however i lived life without this little baby beardie. My cat as a kid passed away, and now i just recently adopted a kitten, so i totally get your grief. Be kind to yours and send hugs your way🫂

[@helenjoy6316]

Dearest Jessica, I'm a new subscriber. I love so much about you and your channel. I am so delighted that you shared your most intimate thoughts, your vulnerability. Its beautiful. You are right in speaking about the duality in life. I'm a therapist, well i was before becoming too sick to work but i definitely identify with what you said. You were beautifully bold in your vulnerability. Your bravery will help so many people. ❤

[@joannmicale3109]

My sincere Condolences 😢 I do hope you have better days ahead

[@alvisedgeworth4859]

Hi Jessica. I watched this video while getting ready for my day and now I can’t stop crying while I really need to do my makeup.. I have a leopard gecko, which is my first reptile. Her name is Lady and she’s also the first pet I’ve ever had while fully independent and on my own, so she’s my sole responsibility. She’s coming up on two years old now and she’s having her first vet visit in just a week for a check-up, however it pains me to think that I didn’t give her a vet check-up during her first year with me and I think back and bash myself for the decisions I’ve failed to make. I’ve also recently discovered she may or may not have enigma syndrome, or at least some type of neurological disorder due to her tendency to start rolling or go catatonic with stress. It pains me to think about how I didn’t put 2 and 2 together to figure that out for two whole years. I knew about these behaviors this whole time, yet I didn’t bother to go the extra mile to try and get her out there to the vet. It pains me to think about the times I forgot to buy her food or that the insect delivery was late, but this video is also very insightful for someone who hasn’t experienced loss yet. I want to keep Lady as happy and healthy as possible because she is the light of my life right now. I must learn not to be so dependent on her for my happiness in the future. Videos like this are a great resource for reptile owners or even any pet owner experiencing grief in one way or another. We all wish you the very best in life and I truly mean it when I say you’re the best reptile KZbinr out there with the best morals and advice for any pet. I always recommend you before anyone else. Your care for enigma geckos especially motivate me very much and make me very happy 💚💜💚💜

[@xthexskrillex]

nothing is ur fault Jessica.. ur purely amazing and all ur animals loves you , and spreading the ashes away from u is bad , caus i know for sure that animals spirit never wanted to be part from u ever

[@monicad351]

Awwww Nova 😩💔😢I understand I lost my Francis suddenly! Loss is part of life tho and you have done your best Jess ❤

[@caitlynm8]

🧡🧡🧡

[@ChantalsCritters]

Great video

[@AuskaDezjArdamaath]

The frogs are always chaos when food is involved.

[@melstephen5191]

💔💔💔💔

[@dinoez8886]

I don’t have any pet loss but I have guilt for my bearded dragon she layed eggs and I didn’t know,but she got a prolapse from it and we didn’t know what to do.We searched up videos and treated it.She was in so much pain, and I was trying to figure out what happend.My dad found the eggs and me and my mom took her to the vet,They treated and now I know what to do.(Edit)we I mean me and my mom)

[@G_LittleTV]

I’m sorry for your losses😢, i was also wondering how do you get your whites tree frogs to eat from the tweezers

[@JessicasAnimalFriends]

Oh gosh they just do it naturally. Anything that moves they go for

[@cvbenjaminb]

Crocodile skink ?

[@Pzz5117]

To Jessica, loss is hard. I know you know that. You are strong. You are passionate about the things you do. A few months ago rehomed my leopard gecko as she became too unhealthy and treatment was unobtainable. It still feels weird not having her. But I know that she’s being taken care of well by a rescue that worked closely with. Hopefully one day she can be used in the programs they do. Stay strong Jess. ❤