Dismissive Avoidant: What They are Thinking During NO CONTACT

[@Callie0818]

A DA is the worst person to be in a relationship with. You're going to feel so lonely and neglected, ignored and when you try to discuss things, to make things better, the more they will shun you. It's so much work and I honestly wonder if this even worth doing all the work for them. My mental health suffered tremendously while I was dating one and I was putting so much more effort and he was doing the bare minimum. They're only gonna be chasing you and going to say the right things in the beginning of the relationship, it's a downward spiral from there.

[@108Isabel]

I had the same experience with my ex boyfriend I had to let him go because he didn't love me or did any effort for me.

[@phonyPope]

A DA wants a connection and a deep emotional bond, same as everyone else, they are just broken and it takes them longer to get there than most. They have been discouraged from showing their emotions in the past. They are slow to trust and need the right kind of support to feel comfortable opening up. They only stop putting in effort when they are feeling overwhelmed by someone. If someone is anxiously pushing them along and criticizing them, then it’s over, putting in the wrong effort will push them further and further away. They are reluctant to be vulnerable and show who they are because they fear rejection and abandonment. Shame is a distancing emotion. When the DA feels fully accepted for who they are without judgement, that need for space goes away. It takes understanding and support for them to get there, but for them to become secure it also takes them having the courage to face their anxieties and they must be self aware to do so. But of course if they are with someone who is anxiously insecure, then that will just be a losing battle to fulfill the needs those anxieties create and will only feed into their feelings of inadequacy which will make them withdrawal. The anxious person would need to have the courage to face their anxieties as well, and learn to accept love from themselves from within first because they will never be able to accept love from someone else and be fulfilled if their anxiety is taking up all the space inside them where they need love.

[@rainingpatchouli4476]

Yessssss

[@BetterLoveMovement]

You NAILED it! You will NEVER get the person they were in the first 90 days of the relationship.😩

[@emmcee476]

I can say this is very accurate, after being with someone for 9 months. Towards the end, we were arguing due to HER miscommunications and inconsistencies. I was trying to get her to see that, but her solution was to break up and throw away the relationship as if it had been 9 days. I was left confused, and like I had zero emotional support during a time when I needed it the most You will often be wondering what they are thinking and feeling, and where you stand in the relationship. Parts of me are still healing, and this was already a year ago. This has almost completely turned me off from dating with intentions to build a long lasting relationship. I am getting closer and closer to being done, and staying on my own. Too many self-unaware, broken people out there who just get in relationships to break others

[@shaneholt8791]

I'm currently going through a break up with a DA. I've only just realised she is a DA and to be honest it's making me move on quicker. who in the right mind would want to be with someone who can't show emotion

[@themoonbleu627]

Did you guys move on to other people ?

[@bvad7884]

Literally described my relationship with my DA lol (I'm secure attachment)

[@itzelblue3311]

I m the one not in my right mind 🙁

[@neikaplay]

As a DA I can confirm its pure truth being spoken. Thanks for your great videos.

[@IamCoachCourt]

Thank you! I appreciate the comment

[@bulldogboris3663]

The heart wants what the heart wants, that was beautifully said!Now lets hope the DA dumper have the heart to miss someone deep enough

[@aniotis83]

I sended my DA a letter after he shut me down and did not reply to my text. So, I mailed him a letter and said my thanks and goodbyes. Best thing to do and to help heal. I feel so relieved.

[@IamCoachCourt]

Glad you found something that worked for you

[@irene2081]

Me too, I put him in his place and a month and a half after that he came back with a text that ended "YOU are the star!" The truth is that you have the power to show how you want to be treated. If they are motivated enough, they will do the work. We can be noone's savior or therapist.

[@ImAlicjaFrank]

It's definitely the best for some, but it's also easy to give up too fast on an avoidant and increasing the feeling of not being good enough.

[@sophiestanza]

Did he ever respond?

[@msnicolevickers]

I love the shift in perspective of the "NC" rule to it being the "Self Discovery" mode. I agree that "NC" does sound a bit manipulative especially when this time is more about you healing and not them. I also like dissecting why I wanted to be in this relationship dynamic. Good stuff! Thank you so much!

[@carliebryanton687]

Great video. I have broken up with my DA after 5 years of confusion and self doubt. I have blocked them on all social media and have deleted their number so I can’t contact them. I am trying to now rebuild and work on my shattered self esteem and fragile heart. The no contact for me isn’t a game as I don’t want to speak to them or hear from them I just want to get better and like myself again x

[@rainingpatchouli4476]

This makes me realize 6 mos was just the tip of the ice berg ..my self esteem was shot by him Sooo fastttt ..I thought he was OCPD by how controlling he was

[@funfactory4059]

I cannot believe how accurate the things you say are. It sounds as if you are actually describing the person I have been dating

[@Kimberlyelayyne]

This was absolutely amazing info. Best channel hands down on dismissive avoidants!!!

[@IamCoachCourt]

🥰 thanks Kimberly

[@lanapalij4014]

Thanks for all of your content. This man was the first DA type I ever dealt with. This is the 2nd. time he isn’t answering my texts. When we reconnected,he said that he couldn’t stop thinking about me, and finally asked if I’d call him, I did,we had vacation plans, in 3 weeks, so, I am OVER it…! I’m done. Past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior. Life is too short for games!

[@lanapalij4014]

Un-believe-able! Just as I’m reading the “like” on my comment, I get a text message from him….?

[@pacs0508]

@@lanapalij4014 And?

[@lanapalij4014]

@@pacs0508 and….! We are texting and talking every day again. I think that the best thing to do for me, is to set some boundaries with him. And, take it from there. What do you think?

[@pacs0508]

@@lanapalij4014 That is a good idea. Everyone should have agreed boundaries for the benefit of the relationship. Effective communication is a must as well. I hope the best for you! God made the woman for the man and the man for the woman. When it works it is a BEAUTIFUL THING and the way He intended it!

[@julesD0222]

@@lanapalij4014 Any updates?

[@shelleybarnard5648]

DA’s are damaged people. Unless they’re willing to do the work on themselves, the pattern will keep repeating. How they treat you is how they’ve treated everyone in their dating life. Run, not walk away. Loving DA’s are like loving a dead battery. It’s all take and no give and they will eventually strip away your self esteem. The charming, loving person in the honeymoon phase isn’t real. Restarting a relationship is begging for more heartache. Love yourself and move on.

[@kingkillmonger74]

You described my ex to a T. She was a wonderful loving girlfriend till we broke up over a fight. She turned into a selfish, cruel, mean woman that I don’t recognize. Part of me still loves her, but I can’t put my life on hold waiting for them.

[@moniqueabundance]

FACTSSSSSSS

[@Scoop2380]

He (DA) told me that he feels like relationship was one sided and he was the one making moves. Yes, he was trying, that is true, but it was exhausting him and eventually he blamed me for him trying and not getting back something that he needs. And I just don’t know what I should have done! Help pls…

[@lisaariottiart]

Word. Run.

[@joshuamorris9597]

This channel is great. Sometimes you encounter concepts that are so coherent that you just know they're true. you're just like "yep, this is my new truth." This is what you're giving people here, including me. it's a gift. Thank you.

[@IamCoachCourt]

I appreciate you Josh! 🙏🏾

[@esele6882]

I know of a man who can manifest your ex partner back and restore back your broken relationship easily__

[@LetsGoPips]

1k video amazing Congrats on the growth

[@abelltiger]

Thank you! ‘Self discovery mode’. Love that. So many videos sell manipulation to get people to return and I keep thinking… uh… that’s probably how you GOT where you are in the 1st place. dummy. Seeking to be a better person should be the motivation always. The rest, the best, whatever that may be, takes care if itself. Thanks coach

[@IamCoachCourt]

Thanks Aaron!

[@jessicamorales2555]

This you said is just true. Breakup is not fun, yes, but learnings can be pure gold.

[@AVXXRY_103]

This Channel is EVERYTHING!! My ex is DA ..& THIS has really been so informative

[@IamCoachCourt]

Thank you Toshma

[@Swonana]

Thiisssss! I agree on the no contact rule being manipulative, cause during seperation I felt it was necessary to do a self inventory rather than "no contact". This makes sense

[@IamCoachCourt]

💯 percent

[@JulesOille]

Better off to walk away as hard as it is. DA are difficult and will make your life journey very hard. They are broken people who will drive you crazy. Unless they plan to seek improvement it's not worth the heartache. All of this "I love you! Then Go away screws with your sense of reality. If you have kids, the kids will feel abandoned and they too will internalize all of the hurt. Stay away!

[@lanapalij4014]

Well said!

[@lora3587]

What if they want to but they are not able to change. I know that my DA loves me but he has been doing this DA thing since few months now. He cannot hurt me directly but he has been hurting me so bad for all this time. He asked for a breakup because he said he cannot give me the love I deserve. I want him still, what do you advice

[@uniquedavenport7232]

@@lora3587 work on yourself go no contact and stay busy the longer you stick around the longer you will hurt yourself and hell just think it's ok because your still around, hes not thinking wow this woman must really love me and I'm clearly hurting her and sabotaging my relationship let me work on myself..avoidants DONT think like this they NEED time and distance to reflect, which often takes them a long time to process information and feel their actual feelings.. if you just "stick around" he will get worse with time subconsciously..avoidants dont respect people they can have easy access to..unfortunately they will look at you as a "weak person" and continue to subconsciously disregard you and your feelings, in his mind your sticking around so you must be ok with it, they dont stop to think about how their behaviors impact the relationship in a negative way until you actually leave put up boundries for yourself and do no contact...

[@uniquedavenport7232]

@@lora3587 my ex was like that he was a really good guy with a really good heart that's why I ended up with him unfortunately back then I knew absolutely nothing about avoidants or even what a attachment style was lol I tried to stick it out on and off for almost 4 years he tried the best that he could but unfortunately he was just too emotionally unavailable he also never wanted to talk about the real issues that were bothering him and he kept ghosting me and shutting down in the relationship and pushing me away he also refused to go to thrapy at the time and pretty much believed he had no serious issues and that his behavior was justified because some how I made him always push me away even though he never expressed anything was wrong to me on his end and when he did randomly break things off it was always when things seemed to be going well and we were going forward in our relationship that's when I really started to realized this was a real issue with him and no matter what I did he was going to keep having these fears and blocks that hinder growth in the relationship and he just didnt understand or get it...my ex would say things like I know I'm hurting you but I just dont know why I keep doing this and I dont know how to stop or make it better when I would bring up avoidant attachment styles he would just dismiss it and say hes not a avoidant and doesnt have issues it was like he was always gaslighting his self and me

[@lora3587]

@@uniquedavenport7232 I can see how good of a soul you are. I can really relate to this. This valuing me when I gave him less time has happened before but I couldn't recognise the pattern. He also said that I don't give him time to miss me. And He has no problem with him being this way. When I asked if we could go for a therapy he says the world is not very nice I don't want to change myself and trust people. I really love him and I cannot see what I will do without him. I m a really strong woman in every other thing, he is my only weakness. I understand you and your pain and your care. Thank you very much, I'll work on this...

[@roblotomy]

Too late sadly.. She never showed up.. She chose work over me.

[@petitcoeur-q6r]

I can tell you how they feel. Elation and pure joy as they monkey branch to another connection/ go on dating apps and seek validation from someone else. We were all used by a DA. Not loved by them at all. Don’t take them back as they will do it to you again and worse.

[@albertmiguel404]

This is crazy, been watching attachment theory videos trying to understand my connection with a DA female because I’m AP and got activated when she was being more distant and I started spiraling and told her we’re not compatible and should just be acquaintances. Bombshell making her totally stonewall which I helped catalyze and now been struggling with limerance and tried fighting for her but that really just makes it worse. So now I’m no contact almost a week but constantly resisting the urge to reach out to her. So emotionally exhausting but I’m trying to work on myself to be secure.

[@aiman96yearsago10]

I’m AP. I have the same experience with you. For me, the first few month after cutting off contact with a DA was the hard part. After long period of time you will kinda forget about the person. I’m currently 2 years last I contacted her. I realised it not worth it to stress my mind dealing with a DA person.

[@9545159275w]

run for the hills f.... that

[@Magnoliasdiary]

Agreed

[@thelovely1553]

Exactly, they're not worth the headache

[@moniqueabundance]

The advice that should have been the whole video ☝

[@teshatesha8088]

Thank you coach. This helped me understand my recent break up with my DA ex. It gave me a better understanding to what is going on. As I'm an anxious relationship personality trait. This has given me clarity to move forward and fully focus on myself healing. I put it in the universe if it was meant to be it will be. The relationship was great, but as it started getting deeper he started pulling away. Then we had a huge argument about an ex of his that was harassing our relationship. And he broke things off. At first I felt that he broke up because he was mad. But when he blocked my calls and texts , I'm starting to think that its over. Its been 14 days since the block. It is what it is as I'm understanding the dissmissive avoiding trait. 😥

[@DR-fd6vu]

Going through the same thing. Did he ever come reach out?

[@dfalcone1698]

Same here did you guys hear anything??

[@philipc7801]

The exact same thing happened to me! Word for word. She eventually unblocked me (recently) when it didn't work out with her ex. Took 7 weeks of being blocked to get unblocked. Yesterday she requested to follow me on IG. But hasn't contacted me after I accepted. And I won't be contacting either

[@notmyrealpseudonym6702]

Thank you for your ongoing content ... absolute gold!

[@IamCoachCourt]

Thank you for your ongoing support! 🙏🏾 Love the handle btw 🤣

[@lp9074]

More subscribers for you this 2021! ❤️

[@IamCoachCourt]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@grawakendream8980]

good insight. and i appreciate at the end you acknowledging the heart wants what it wants

[@joseb9313]

My DA ex called me as I was watching this video 💀 It's been about 3 weeks of Self Discovery (no contact) 🤪

[@IamCoachCourt]

💪🏾💪🏾

[@kari9655]

Enjoying your channel very much!!

[@IamCoachCourt]

Thank you Kari!

[@rrico4445]

Good point but will they abandon again. Is that how they always going to be a on and off relationship?? Or they’re coping mechanism as they takeoff and go stay with your family when there’s an argument.

[@karlashmeedavlasta6365]

Mine came back but broke up after six months again. Then did'nt leave but stayed at my place for another two years, which gave me hope, but messed me up... Just recently she broke up the already broken up situationship, moved out and now wants to satellite around to walk my dog. I am doing NC just for me. And I am doing much better than I expected.

[@sophiafara5997]

I just subscribed. Good work!

[@IamCoachCourt]

Thanks Sophia!

[@lizlilliston7993]

If the DA takes so long to even feel they miss you and want to get back, how do they feel if they find that you’re dating and possibly being intimate with another. If one wants the DA back, will the DA decide to not start up again if they find you’ve been intimate.

[@Callie0818]

In their eyes they will view this as you rejecting them

[@themoonbleu627]

They feel they don’t want the person because you won’t be special used by someone else they have all types of psychological ways to see the person as unworthy or not meant to be or bad for whatever reason

[@itzelblue3311]

I know its excruciating but why do i love him so much Why do i feel bad for him to the point i can forget the hurt he caused me

[@jackiebrowne5475]

Very impressed with this video!

[@jenbaddie333]

What about no contact for 7 months, I figured that was long enough for him to reflect and reach out.

[@Renegadespirits]

So helpful, thank you. I just broke up with him because I could no longer deal with his back and forth behavior, it was just too painful. It’s only been a week, he checks in on me sometimes and he seems to have moved on, hanging out with friends etc, but I know better. Just waiting. Would be interesting to see if I’m still interested when he shows back up.

[@stormfalcon72]

Great video, Coach. 🙏

[@IamCoachCourt]

Thanks man 🙏🏾

[@verohb79]

Waiting for the turtle to come out of his shell 😂 excellent analogy!

[@James-rt7bg]

DA ghosted me then texted me after a couple months to say hi and see how I was and then ghosted again...does that mean she is coming around but slowly?

[@maryisaac9439]

No they dnt give a fuck dnt be fooled

[@PBnJgirls99]

Nope just seeing if they can still get your attention when they want

[@colclarke7017]

Run and don't look back

[@jillainenewman1358]

A person who ghosts you doesn't give a shit about your feelings! I hope for your sake that she stays gone! I believe you deserve to be with someone who actually cares about you. What do you believe?

[@gglin5595]

The heart wants what the heart wants

[@rrrrrrraaaa9]

Great insight as always. I show my ex, I was driving and she was coming from otherside of the road she was giving me eye contact and so did I. It was like around 3 second and I passed by her. Don't know what was she thinking?

[@ssmd7449]

What if they blocked you the day of the break up? Iv been in no contact since then.

[@Anna-sh3ir]

if you break up with them, do they go through the same process?? do they still get in their feelings 2 months in? or do they process things quicker and move on? As an AA, i feel its easier to move on if i got broken up with rather than me doing the break up :(( could u do a more in depth video about this?

[@IamCoachCourt]

Hey! Thanks for the question! They still go through the same stages of grieving. If you broke up with them, it most likely will take longer for them to feel vulnerable with you again. As an AA too, I would find it easier to move on after a couple of months because I grieve early and intensely.

[@sarahbright5231]

I’ve recovered pretty quickly, it’s been around 6 weeks. It was intense and brutal but if he came back now I would not entertain him. I would lose my sanity with this man. Every time we got close or had a great time it felt like he was ready to dump me after. That’s no way to live.

[@drycleanernick7603]

Coach Court I’ve noticed I do that as well. Last break up I got over very quickly but felt very intense emotions at first.

[@neikaplay]

I think we take vary long to process hurt feelings. Maybe even more than 2 months but a healthy, respectful, empathetic, conversation might help things sooner.

[@PriyankaGupta-ew1li]

@@sarahbright5231 Hell Yass

[@luketimewalker]

WOW man WOW

[@fubao588]

In the case where there's no dating in the first place but she was triggered accidentally and pulled away, is there a possibility to be back together maybe in a romantic setting? Feeling can change

[@aaronridenour5946]

So if married , what if the silent one just had the couples 2nd child and other be 2 1/2.. the silent one went 500 miles away and sent not filed but faked court papers ... she has been gone almost 3 months

[@IamCoachCourt]

That sounds like it could be done tour of midlife crisis or postpartum depression. Hard to say though

[@TheOnlyLoveForME]

Will No contact work here? Will He reach out? I have been in no contact for about 50 days... He said he doesn't want a relationship, later he also said because he isnt ready for a relationship and just sees me as a friend and isnt mature enough and has so much to do at work. I accepted it but said it would be better if we dont see each other anymore, because I have feeling for him. He suddenly became very emotional. His eyes became very wet. It looked like he was about to cry, so I kissed him for the last time, said thanks for everything and walked away. It was the first time he ever showed so strong emotion, so I was very confused by his reaction. He was always a little distant, also didnt like to be touched and never really showed deep emotion. So this reaction was very shocking to me. (I know I was very needy at the end....I wish I would have given him more space...work was very stressfull for him, so he didnt have much time for me. He said he felt the pressure from me.)

[@mopad12]

I told her I liked her on Second date and it ended after that, she told she hadn’t been in a relationship in a long time😪

[@DR-fd6vu]

So it's pretty common for DA to block you? I broke no contact after 35 days. The need for closure had me feeling so desperate. He blocked me straight away. Its horrible. Would you say a DA only processes and grieves months later?

[@amazing5165]

He blocked me too. 5 months did he unblock you?

[@veronicam7792]

@coachcourt How can you do no contact with a DA when you have a child together but are separated?

[@IamCoachCourt]

Keep all communication purely about the kid. There is no need for chitchat and emotionally charged or personal conversations. If you need to go through a 3rd party for split custody, you can do that too.

[@alexsmith2438]

Question what if you was dealing with a female that's a DA for about month or 2 and they told you they loved you and vice versa and after a argument we had her feelings changed for me over night and its likes shes a whole different person and very cold and decided to break things off and remain just friends but I want more...what should i do?

[@reesespieces450]

Sounds like true da pattern. Shut down at all costs! Lol. SPACE is effective with DAs leave her alone..disappear for at least 3 weeks. Then reach out with something neutral, 100 % supportive but casual not mentioning the fight. "Hi, how's work going? I'm here for you and I support you x"......along those lines. Then you should see her start to open up. It needs to be very slow with a da especially after a fight. Hope it works for you. :)

[@marieldugenia7336]

Hi. Great video. My bf is a DA. We started off so good. But then after couple of months he's been struggling and depressed. And I like pressures and confrontation but he's totally my opposite. There are times that he doesn't text me even he's online and I am trying to understand him maybe he just needs time cause he's struggling. I'm very consistent everyday reminding him that I'm always here and I love him. Do DA feel overwhelmed with constant text? I mean, I don't like going to a no contact cause for me it's like a form of punishing him. And I want him to feel that even he's shutting me down I am still here for him. What do you think about this?

[@coolcatsandthe70schick71]

wow That's why he's lost interest in you. You are acting like a man

[@jboopsie]

Doormat behavior

[@ioanaz4369]

It's been almost 2 months of absolutely no contact after a 5 years relationship. Last 2 years were long distance. He blamed the break-up on the distance. He was supposed to move to me but changed his mind overnight. Also, he often makes decisions on the moment and then changes his mind in a second. My ex is also an avoidant. Am I waiting for nothing, or are there any changes for him to reach out? Your insight would be greatly appreciated.

[@julianarosary7064]

I know of a man who can manifest your ex partner back and restore back your broken relationship easily__

[@yongchoilee6682]

I know of a man who can manifest your ex partner back and restore back your broken relationship easily__

[@elizabethtorrez9232]

so what is the DA THINKING????

[@ProductiveChi]

Coach Court, are you a DA? 🤔 you have a lot of videos about it. Just curious 😁

[@IamCoachCourt]

I’m an anxious in recovery but I’ve studied a lot

[@sachabeach9809]

This video was amazing! I have gotten my DA back several times over 15 years. It's a in and out thing. I was very anxious though. I have been doing personal development and watching your videos. I have learned so much! He has been in a rebound relationship for a while but only sees her 4 times a year. He reached out on his bday to tell me it was his birthday. For the first time in ,15 years I didn't say HB. He seemed very adamant about letting me know I didn't. He is starting to come back around but has not told me if,he is still with her. He didn't text or call during the first 8 months. So, I am thinking he is not happy with her and is reaching out again.

[@westcoastorbust2462]

This is sad. Sorry

[@sophiestanza]

People like this want their cake and eat it too. It’s immature and disrespectful. Cut him off once and for all - you’ll feel so much better

[@buckeyeman7631]

I've been dealing with a submissive for nearly 9 years now. Recently, after offering her shelter and financial help if she'd just leave a job she's already told me she should leave but fears doing so, I've begun to pull away. I leave contact up to her. She contacts me via text every few days with statements of what she's been doing but has no questions for me at all. She also has never once asked me a question unsolicited about my feelings. So I'm pulling away, I answer her long texts with simple one or two words replies and leave it at that. I know she's starting to get my point after a couple weeks of this, but I know she'll never ask me why I'm doing what I am doing because she's never once asked me about my feelings. Maybe a miracle will take place and I'll get what I need to continue on, but I'm not holding my breath on that either. Fading away, for my own sanity just seems easier now, because I've literally done everything, and taken every angle that I can over all these years...and I'm just tired of waiting for her to be emotionally present, even at the risk of never finding a satisfying replacement for her (because other than the lack of emotional attachment, she does everything else in life right and is a nice and very generous person).

[@lisaariottiart]

sounds like your sex addicted

[@CathalYTM]

If I reach out after like 7 weeks, how long should the conversation be? And after the conversation then what?, do I reach out again after a week? Do I go silence again..

[@ravinetha6789]

I know of a man who can manifest your ex partner back and restore back your broken relationship easily__

[@ravinetha6789]

He brought back my husband after 7 years of separation and brought us together in peace within 3days and settle my marital challenges easily His name is Dr Miracle Gabe,he can also help you out__

[@ravinetha6789]

""Whts" App " him __

[@chitoflores4418]

I was with my girlfriend for 3 years off and on again. The 3 off she actually started taking to someone else befoe she broke up with me. Her 3 relationsdhips got sexually intimate quite soon after she left me. The last time was 3 weeks ago. I loved her so much....I realize this time it's time to move on....No comminication between us, Thank you court for helping me begin to find closure...

[@reesespieces450]

So if you end with them then regret still got to wait 2 months!???

[@PriyankaGupta-ew1li]

Absolutely dysfunction DA's are😂🙄

[@sml5386]

Is the 2 month mark after break-up or last time we spoke?

[@IamCoachCourt]

I’ve actually seen both, but usually since the breakup. Depends on how much contact you have after breakup

[@sml5386]

@@IamCoachCourt a lot, first two months we lived together still, then we have been hanging out acting like a couple still but without the commitment, and about two weeks of NC somewhere in the middle of that.

[@IamCoachCourt]

@@sml5386 so you’re back hanging?

[@sml5386]

Yes, and he actually said that basically he is scared getting back into the relationship because we need to make sure we have grown and worked on ourselves enough so we don’t fall back into old patterns, but that he wants to be exclusive. So I guess that means that we are working on things but taking it very slow and figuring out what went wrong last time so we can avoid making the same mistakes. We were pretty young when we met so I think a lot of it has to do with growing up, finding ourselves independently of each other, and setting healthy boundaries.

[@anothercat9600]

Sounds like she was with a narcissist, someone with manipulative personality disorder. You saw it right, Coach Court, this is not our local classic empathic introvert dismissive avoidant.

[@IamCoachCourt]

🙌🏾

[@suminanap]

Stages of Grief has been debunked.

[@IamCoachCourt]

Really? Interesting

[@salroebuck8330]

May I send happy birthday text during no contact/ letting him take his space??

[@IamCoachCourt]

I wouldn’t message him. Give the space

[@shakirahstewart2593]

No

[@whitneypilusa6850]

Can I wish a dismissive avoidant ex a happy birthday?

[@IamCoachCourt]

if you don't have any expectations

[@cynthiam184]

They might ignore you 🤣🤣 happened to me.

[@mountain-view310]

Block block block. Work on yourself

[@agamngxt8852]

I always think that dating them is like being with someone autistic you try to get it and there is just no way you can get through

[@IamCoachCourt]

There a deeper discussion to be had there for sure

[@stevieberisha561]

What exactly are they going to do as a friend when there crappy partners 🤷‍♂️

[@lynnsteed9979]

Exactly!