Disney’s ARTEMIS FOWL is a Complete Disgrace | Cynical Reviews

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Artemis Fowl (2020), Disney’s adaptation of Eion Colfer’s fantasy book series, which was recently released on their streaming service Disney+, is a complete disgrace. Awful in every respect, confusing to newcomers and insulting to fans of the franchise, it should have stayed in development hell.
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0:24 - Introduction & General Comments
3:35 - Casting and Characters
6:49 - Adapting the Book
9:15 - Plot Runthrough & Story Issues
15:36 - Conclusion
16:44 - Merch Drop
17:36 - Outro & Patreon Credits
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---Music Credits---
Kevin MacLeod - “Hep Cats”, and “Shaving Mirror” (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License.
#ArtemisFowl #ArtemisFowlReview #Disney #Ad

[@CynicalReviews]

Go to nordvpn.com/cynicalreviews or use code CYNICALREVIEWS to get 70% off a 3 year plan plus 1 additional month free. Get your Cynical Reviews Merch here! - www.bonfire.com/store/cynicalreviews/ Big thanks once again to all my lovely Patrons and Channel Members. If you like my videos, consider becoming a Patron or Channel Member yourself: www.patreon.com/CynicalReviews kzbin.info/door/1DCPS2j-o0bvfIilkc8RSwjoin $20 - Definitely Not A Furry DannyElk Kaylee Tnoyb Michael Lowe $10 - Probably Not A Furry Boring AF Brian Christensen Burnhard Chewzilla Guiseppe La Monica Jessie Acosta Kobayashi Maru Raddels Scottish Twolves Fan $5 - Active Homosexuloid Anna Marta Batog Brooke Preaseau Fona AL-mansour Francisco J. Fritz Garking JaxSeebs Konnor Johnson Laura Jones Llama Balloonist Michael Evans $5- Channel Members Boring AF Bryan Courtney Collings James Moore KrashandBurn Lianne Perez-Santiago Matthew Sommer Nathaniel_the_Spaniel Ray Slocumb Samuel Nielsen William Morrison Virtruvious $2 - Proven Homosexuloid A Carolin Tomczak Colton DaLoveDocta69AllDay Dorron Hopeman Jataya Joakim Myhre Lee Stewart Little Maecenas Lunayy-chan Maff Gibson Martha W Matthew McKenzie Michael Barnes Mkay Muki Ongrad Oscar Medina Raven’s Cry Rebecca Warner Robert Fithen Rocket5000 SirAttlich Til87 Virtruvious William Hornstra Woad Warrior Art Zoraprincess91 $1 - Homosexuloid Alastair Oxby Alicia Windsor anonymous person Avery Swanson Carla Hoffman Carol-ann Teasdale Clarissa Wee Coco Connor M Daemonumcamo Dawid Gołosz Eve Freyjinn George Jerome Williams Lissa Luke Swales Maruis Zydyk Munchman Myuu chu Nicki Purnell Pan Manis Philip Emmerson R Wayne Bawden

[@trinaq]

Please cover the "Last Airbender", the "Fantastic 4" reboot or "Pixels"! 😍

[@namelessentity5851]

Kenneth Branagh, the same f'ing guy who made a wonderful rendition of 'Henry V' was involved in this!?. That is as bleak as waiting 33 years for Ridley Scott to make a worthy successor to 'Alien'... only to have him take a big giant 'Prometheus' on us.

[@karstais]

Did you misspell the promo code at 9:05 ? BTW you got some nice die

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

Watch the Percy Jackson movies. I dare you.

[@ΣκοτώνωΧαρά]

Disney - Let's stop there

[@panicontheargo7034]

I’m really bitter about how they rewrote Artemis’s character. He’s supposed to be cold, and somewhat unnerving to talk to. He hates physical contact, so when his dad (who’s not even supposed to appear until the second book) hugged him, he’s supposed to be stiff and uncomfortable. Also, what’s with the surfing scene? Isn’t he supposed to hate sports and stuff? Good lord I’m so bitter at this movie. First Percy Jackson, then Avatar, and now this... Ok, imma edit this and add all the books that were done dirty by the movies based on the comment thread: Percy Jackson Avatar the last Airbender Aragon Death note

[@andymac4883]

Not to mention the fact that he *always* wears a suit in the books, from what I recall, whereas here he is wearing a hoodie and jeans? Artemis of the books wouldn't be caught dead in a hoodie unless he had to wear one for an ulterior motive! Nor would he be outside helping Butler in a fight. I doubt Butler would even _let_ him, since you know, Butler is supposed to be his bloody bodyguard.

[@snap-n-shoot]

The opening scene in the book at the coffee shop in the book sets the tone, and it was completely missed. It is Disney though so family values and sugary sweet ethics will ruin good story-lines.

[@dimataha7175]

@@andymac4883 In book 4

[@andymac4883]

@@dimataha7175 Talking about how he wears casual clothes, talks in a stereotypically teenaged way and carries a scooter? As I recall, he only did that for the sake of getting into a bank to pull off a heist, and he hated every second of it.

[@dimataha7175]

@@andymac4883 oh.......now I remembered.......you have a better memory.😑😑😑

[@chaosplank210]

LITERALLY IN THE BOOKS, BUTLER DOESN'T TELL ARTEMIS HIS REAL NAME UNTIL HE GETS SHOT BELOW THE HEART IN THE ETERNITY CODE.

[@knittydragon7149]

I'm surprised I had to scroll so far to find this! It's a critical plot point in the later books, when he reveals his name! I read these books back when they were published, and I still remember that. It's hardly the biggest problem I guess, but way to disrespect the source material for no real gain to the movie. I think Butler just being "Butler" (in accordance with the family rules) also characterizes his role in Artemis's life, juxtaposed with how close they are as people.

[@mort3official404]

Yeah man that part was especially pissing me off too! Like, they found his name by looking in the books but they didn’t look at the explicit detail that it was a cardinal sin for the Butlers to give away their first name to the person they’re protecting

[@Trackstar2058]

They did it because they didn't wanna get controversial from a white boy calling a black man "Butler". I'm Black myself and even I say it wasn't that serious.

[@raycestg3447]

@@Trackstar2058 Yeah man. I don't want to come across as telling others how they should think and feel, but in the context of a book (or story) it should be okay for a white boy to call a black man "Butler" because the intent was never anything bad. Artistic integrity and all that. I think Mr. Colfer did a good job being inclusive enough in the original books, giving different genders, races and ages respect and metaphorical screen time. Even a white 12 year old like me (when I read the first book for the first time) remember feeling good about Holly fighting sexism and winning as well as different races coming together to work towards a common goal. I didn't think of it like that at the time but it did help shaping me as a child and probably influenced me to be more accepting of people different than myself as I grew older.

[@snap-n-shoot]

@@Trackstar2058 Being a Butler is not an issue. There are still Butlers and any skin color can be one, and is one. Too much offense and snowflakery in the world. The Harry Potter books could be taken apart and issues found, but they wont criticize a cash cow.

[@lewis7909]

Disney when they find a fantasy book series: *ITS FEEDING TIME*

[@tal-tail1960]

Considering Fox is part of Disney, I think this also applies to Eragon and it's god awful movie adaptation

[@caiosoares2834]

Disney: Ruining book franchises since forever.

[@emryslurker1557]

Disney (and almost every studio): Let's make sure to foreshadow romance between the MC and the convenient girl. Even if it breaks suspension of disbelief. Urgh. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[@justinthibodeaux8601]

I hope the name pendragon never crosses their desks

[@emryslurker1557]

Can you just imagine if Disney won the rights to produce Game of Thrones/ASOIAF?! The main plot will be either "Sansa remaining her daft self and marrying a King" kind of fairytale or a Jon saves Daenerys from that desert and winning the throne fantasy. Bye bye Political Intrigues and hello silly brain-cell killer "luv-luv" story.

[@MeggieJolly]

When the first thing we saw of Artemis was him running to go surfing, I knew they messed up his character. Artemis doesn’t run unless someone is in mortal danger and he wouldn’t be caught dead surfing.

[@NorokVokun]

He wouldnt be cought doing ANY physical activity... that's what butler was there for.

[@emilyrln]

Exactly. He would be wearing his suit and making snarky comments about the people who were there to *enjoy themselves* instead of doing important business like him (because only important business could motivate him to go to the beach).

[@overall1937]

He hates the outdoors

[@smuj404]

@@overall1937 It's also worth noting that he hates sweating.. Literally in chapter one of the first book!

[@Damian-Hia]

He's literally described as never goes into the sun pale, so the fact he's even outside _willingly_ is incorrect

[@missm8067]

“This might well be the worst adaptation since Avatar: The Last Airbender.” Those are some bold words to begin the video with, sir...

[@Messwithmitchie]

what a bold statement

[@daniboy4153]

A seriously amazingly bold one

[@watermelonspice513]

He forgot abt Percy Jackson too

[@YourPrivateNightmare]

and yet unbelievably correct. I mean, at least Avatar didn't rewrite Aang to be an edgy loner or something

[@ladyvader3173]

@@YourPrivateNightmare Worse, did that to Sokka

[@absolite6]

"So what motivated you to make this movie?" Disney: *Money*

[@ΣκοτώνωΧαρά]

Nah just to throw money just for the heck of it

[@trinaq]

The cash cow goes "Moo"! 🐮 💵

[@taags]

Did they make any money on this?

[@absolite6]

@@taags Since it's on Disney+, the money would be coming from subscription revenue. However considering the budget this movie had, it's doubtful that that alone could make an actual profit. That said more people would mostly be indoors due to the pandemic and would most likely be spending more time on streaming services and that might be enough to bring in a bit more money rather that if it was released just on Disney+ minus the pandemic. I can't find what it's actual viewership rate is though.

[@JacobHillSBD]

@@absolite6 It was originally supposed to be released theatrically, but then the Pandemic hit.

[@Spaceman-ol2fw]

The reason that I care about Commander Root’s gender is that it means that we don’t get Holly having to struggle against sexism in the workplace

[@night-seeker666]

The one time the fight against sexism goes against the fight against sexism. Oh right, every single wave of feminism after 2.

[@halfbloodprincess989]

@@night-seeker666 What do you mean? I guess you could call Hollys storyline feministic (being the first female officer etc)... but how exactly does that extrapolate to "the fight against sexism goes against the fight against sexism" in "every single wave of feminism after 2?" Hollys storyline in the books (that are btw waaaay better than this garbagefire movie, I read them as a child =) is sort of based on her not being taken seriously by her colleages and being under close scrutiny by the public+politicians. I'm also not really sold on commander Root being female now for no reason. Not only did they destroy Hollys storyline with that nonsense, but this adds nothing to the story. I guess they just really wanted to have Judy Dench in their film...

[@night-seeker666]

@@halfbloodprincess989 I meant that nowadays in Hollywood they're changing characters into black people and women, because of politics. Now the gender swapping of a male character ruined a storyline which had empowerment in it.

[@halfbloodprincess989]

@@night-seeker666 Yeah I get the gender-swapping-bad take, I just don't understand how that relates to the 3rd+ waves of feminism? I'd bet they wanted to have Judy Dench in the movie to boost ticket sales, so they gender-swapped Root as their isn't really a female character Dench could play. I' pretty shure feminism had nothing to do with that desicion. I'm generally not a fan of Hollywood changing the gender or scincolour of their characters. Hermine from the Harry Potter franchise is black now -and they couldn't even be bothered to think of a way to make the change from white teenage Hermine to adult black Hermine organic (it's a wizarding world, I'm shure they could have found an organic way like 'drank the wrong potion' or whatever). Hollywood is so f*cking lazy.

[@carlotta4th]

Which frankly wasn't a very important part of the book. It's a nice side story but it mostly creates interesting character interactions between her and Root--easily cuttable for a theatrical film. Of course, I'd much rather have seen that than a totally new dumb "missing dads" plot but you know ...that's expecting competant script writing.

[@tabuu9]

Ironically, the Artemis in the original book seems more like a human. And he was the bad guy.

[@anatoldenevers237]

tabuu9 yeah, Opal the main villain doesn't show up until book 2. Monsters like her are what slowly turn Artemis into a good guy

[@zg5850]

for the first book.

[@sassyalbatross2933]

When the director revealed that he didn’t read the book in every interview.

[@Necromancer0225]

That's just... wow Why make the movie? To make money from the longtime fans? That's terrible Wth

[@slevinchannel7589]

4:42: You cant tell me this is Coincidence. Its too much/many for that. C'mon.

[@aboveaverageazzuen2684]

There should be a fucking international law. That if you wanna make a movie/ tv show/ a God damn saucy Puppet show. based off a book, video game or other established franchise. You should be required to ACTUALLY READ AND OR CONSUME SAID MEDIA. Can you immange if like... Idk someone down the road wanted to make a Star Craft movie or tv mini series... And they made the Zerg "misunderstood space puppies" and Kerrigan is just "head puppygirl" My gods, you'd have riots in the streets. You'd have every single starcraft nerd or random asshole who played StarCraft back in the day calling for the director's head! And rightly so! Or gods fuckin forbid, you make Jim Raynor. A bitter angry broken outlaw as some "Face of the confederate army" played by.... JACKIE fuckin Chan.... Diversity piss off and fanbase piss off

[@thejuice15]

Artemis in the book: I alone captured an elf and translated a language Artemis in movie: They insulted my dad * cries*

[@dimataha7175]

Me reading the comments😑👁👄👁

[@aderemiporsche]

Somebody needs to turn this comment into the Buff Doge Vs Crying Cheem format.

[@vrish1420]

They turned Artemis into a pussy

[@b3nl555]

@@vrish1420 He turned from a big brain CHAD to a small brain virgin

[@newttonium]

@@b3nl555 isn’t that what he somewhat became in the books

[@kingbash6466]

Artemis Fowl: (gets a bad movie adaption) Percy Jackson and Eragon: First time?

[@gwenethp511]

E,, eragon,, 😔

[@Cloudy-tt1vn]

Eragon was so bad. I was about 12 when I watched it and even I could see the horrible mistakes and the worst cliches.

[@kyotheman69]

like you to meet, Jem and John Carter

[@senritsujumpsuit6021]

The casting for the Eragon Dragon :/ oh my XD

[@tonhaogamergranudo]

Oh dude, why did you have to remind us of Eragon? Damn. How many times theses suits on Hollywood butcher beloved franchises? And then they blame the source material! It's mind boggling!

[@thedeepfriar745]

“He didn’t think that audiences would connect with a criminal character.” The book series has sold over 40 million copies. There totally isn’t an audience

[@frankieseward8667]

Yeah. It definitely isn't on par with Hunger games, LOTR, and the Lorien Legacies

[@grantmortensonva]

"The audience can't accept a 12-year-old villain" But they can accept a 12-year-old vigilante antihero who uses obscenities and proudly kills people in "Kick-Ass", TEN YEARS EARLIER???

[@dragonbornexpress5650]

Logic was thrown out the window by those morons.

[@RoTheeQueen]

Kick-Ass was amazing

[@intheclear3492]

The world has gone soft in the past decade

[@grantmortensonva]

Not to mention him being a villain is apparently THE POINT OF THE BOOKS. AS IN, THE REASON PEOPLE LIKE HIM. Why alienate the fans by making something meant for non-fans?

[@25-keys44]

Kick-ass doesn't really look 12 in that movie. to me.

[@Chucklebot_]

I sincerely hope that the fans don't take the hate out on the child actor chosen for the role. That happened to the kid that played young anakin, and his life was ruined from that point on. Put the blame on the production crew. Not the kid that isn't even old enough to go to a PG-13 movie yet.

[@Aster_Risk]

Absolutely. Hopefully nothing like that happens.

[@megamage911]

Honestly, in general people need to learn this. Stop shitting on actors for things that are clearly problems with the writing that they don't have any power over.

[@strigonshitposting793]

Yeah, I feel really bad for both of those actors. I’d hate to be in their position.

[@maxphilpott9677]

What’s wrong with young anninken

[@ThatneGuy-wi8od]

@@maxphilpott9677 his young actor got bullied REALLY hard when he was in school because he played young anakin. His life went downhill fast.

[@manulove1058]

The only positive thing that came from this movie, is that now everyone is curious about what was the original story is so the books Will be more recognized

[@daniboy4153]

Honestly any bad movie based on a book will have people buying the source material.

[@dimataha7175]

@@daniboy4153 I had the opposite though😅..........no I'm not saying the books are bad, no😓.........I just got excited by the movie because of the books.😄

[@ericthered2963]

But are the books worth buying? I'm interested but a bit concerned. By a movie I didn't even watch...

[@NorokVokun]

@@ericthered2963 The books are so worth it. what i'd reccomend is rent the first one for a weekend and just read it with an open mind... that's cheaper (hopefully) than buying outright. I red them as a kid and love them to this very day (just got the audiobook of the first two on audible so i can enjoy them where i can't really sit down and open up a book xD)

[@ericthered2963]

@@NorokVokun I downloaded a reading sample of the first Book. Tomorrow I will try it out. :D

[@Boredman567]

Funnily enough, Mulch unhinging his jaw and ejecting dirt out his ass is completely accurate to the book. Too bad they didn't apply that to much else.

[@DraconicDuelist]

Yeah, not to mention, they made it look worse than the stuff that normally comes _out_ his ass. I mean the cg was just terrible. And he was wearing underwear that he shreds?

[@moritamikamikara3879]

@@DraconicDuelist Yeah bit confusing. In the books he has a bum flap on his undies so that he doesnt have to fucking destroy them every time he tunnels. Also, this is totally MEANT to be nightmare fuel. I agree with everything else in the movie but dwarf tunnelling is supposed to be scary.

[@penguano1313]

lol

[@slevinchannel7589]

You think the Last Airbender failed so hard it 'could never happen again', right? But we have THREE of this 'Level' in 2020/2021: -Artemis Fowl, duh. -Mulan 2020. -Winx Club Life Action. If you didnt knew all 3... youre welcome. Have fun with the Reviews on them, cause many of them are rather fun. But before that: Read my comment to the end! All 3 are just on the 'Not just bad'-Level. aka 'the Dragonball Evolution Level', despite reasonable thinking suggesting this cant just happen again and again and again. But yet, it happened again. Movies so laughably bad they have Plot Holes so massive as if someone said they need to find 5 Big Magic-Stones and then also 3 Small Stones and combine them all, so they have 6 Stones overall - and after this is said no one ever cares about M-Stones ever again!!! And thats saying it nicely!! It happened 3 times alone those last years. All this tells us that its not just a joke when people say 'Quality gets more rare', but literal a Trend that happens.

[@alzerbardoz1953]

I almost hurled when I saw that part for the first time.

They removed the protagonists mother from the story, huh? Damn, it looks like Disney really does have something against moms, don't they?

[@islasullivan3463]

At least now they can’t ruin the Fowl twins.

[@NayvieNoir]

Isla Sullivan I shudder to think. The simple-toons.

[@nickpelloni1014]

_T h e y m u s t d i e_

[@esyphillis101]

Actually it’s more apt to say they have something against Dads. Look at what they’ve done to their most valuable IPs like Star Wars.

[@UmbreonAnimate]

*Mars needs Moms*

[@aimeewilson4505]

I’m sick of Disney wanting to have their cake and eat it too. They are starting a trend of having emotional death scenes in their movies only to bring back the character a scene or two later. It’s emotional manipulation and cheap movie device.

[@waltercomunello121]

That reminded me of Deadpool's death scene in Deadpool 2. I usually skip that part because it's utterly annoying.

[@dragongirl7978]

Yeah... I recently rewatched Frozen 2 and actually timed it. The time between Anna trying to process Elsa's apparent death and try to figure out what to do next and finding out that Elsa is alive is FIVE MINUTES.

[@AlmightyRager95]

It's like Family Guy when Brian was killed off but- OH WAIT ACTUALLY NO he wasn't, 'cause we brought him back without consequence.

[@Shenaldrac]

Gravity Falls did it too. Either kill the character or don't.

[@gracekim25]

Shenaldrac huh?

[@rockyhorrorfreakshow5091]

As someone who grew up in Ireland, where every 13 year old had to read artemis fowl, this was _God awful_

[@marianatheschizoid5912]

Really? This is a must read for Irish kids?

[@gracekim25]

Oh😶

[@blkbarbie2671]

In England we were reading the Cherub series at 13😭

[@rojo1945]

internet Explorer more like 'the books were everywhere so you get curious one day and read it' the author I think is Irish so the book was marketed everywhere and it became a popular Irish book.

[@deezboyeed6764]

@@rojo1945 I mean if the author is Irish it makes sense they would study it at some point.

[@adammuth3766]

Maaaan. The opening scene of the first book is so strong. From Artemis intimidating the waiter, to tricking and poisoning the fairy, to blackmailing her for the book, it tells you absolutely everything you need to know about the character. And it's just gone. Artemis is clever and patient. He spends weeks, maybe months on stakeouts watching trees in case a fairy turns up. He slowly pieces together the fairy language by studying ancient texts and finding similarities. The way he plays the fairies and escapes the blue rinse, it's all great. And they just throw it out. Artemis is the villain, at least to begin with. They didn't have the balls to see that through.

[@TheFatalcrest]

I'd argue he's a outright villian for about 2 or 3 books, and he slowly but surely goes from Black hat to mmm....Charcoal Gray Hat, he's never objectively working to be nice or even within the law, but he will prevent fairy society and human society from clashing because he has allies (and Friends in select cases) that he values greatly.

[@odd-eyes9463]

I'm going out to buy the entire Artemis Fowl book series so I can support the author and read something good.

[@panq8904]

I mean i'd try the first two and see how you go, the last two or three are a little weird and not as well written.

[@neenlancaster]

Please do! As the other commenter said, the first books are amazing and Artemis was certainly my favourite character as a kid and growing up so!

[@corruptangel6793]

Tbh I recomend stopping at book 3. Artemis Fowl, Artic Incident, and Eternity Code form a perfect trilogy. Sadly however, the books (in my opinion at least) are disappointing beyond those 3.

[@gracekim25]

I recommend it

[@gracekim25]

Corrupt Angel um let them make up their own mind😅

[@knowndisc]

Such a prodigy was Artemis fowl, that he made a box office failure at eleven.

[@prajwaljayaraj5887]

A fellow human of culture eh?

[@moondestroyer1988]

Disney doesn't care as long as they make money

[@sparky6743]

Not only that, he made a box office failure on a STREAMING SERVICE. It takes a lot of balls to do that

[@justininexile3445]

Actually, gender-swapping commander Root kinda removes Holly's main character struggle - it was somewhat similar to the Zootopia where Judy Hopps felt she had to prove herself as the first bunny officer. Commander Root was harder on Holly Short because she was the first female officer, and thus all of Haven would be watching her, making her a 'test case'. Edit: Ah I see there was asterisk with the same point added :D carry on then!

[@slevinchannel7589]

Its amazing. You think the Last Airbender failed so hard it 'could never happen again', right? But we have THREE of this 'Level' in 2020/2021: -Artemis Fowl, duh. -Mulan 2020. -Winx Club Life Action. If you didnt knew all 3... youre welcome. Have fun with the Reviews on them, cause many of them are rather fun. But before that: Read my comment to the end! All 3 are just on the 'Not just bad'-Level. aka 'the Dragonball Evolution Level', despite reasonable thinking suggesting this cant just happen again and again and again. But yet, it happened again. Movies so laughably bad they have Plot Holes so massive as if someone said they need to find 5 Big Magic-Stones and then also 3 Small Stones and combine them all, so they have 6 Stones overall - and after this is said no one ever cares about M-Stones ever again!!! And thats saying it nicely!! It happened 3 times alone those last years. All this tells us that its not just a joke when people say 'Quality gets more rare', but literal a Trend that happens.

[@mask938]

@@slevinchannel7589 I nearly had a stroke trying to read the 5th paragraph of your reply. What were you trying to say there?

[@TheDeathmail]

@@slevinchannel7589Avatar at least stuck with the source material, had decent costumes and had a proper connecting story. It failed due to trying to shove an entire season into less than 3 hrs.... All these other mess ups actually don't even do that much.....

[@jennaheiser625]

It was a massive problem to call Butler “Dom” for several reasons. One: The Butler family had a long and proud heritage, and he was actively proud of the name. Two: Almost no one alive knew his name, and it was extremely significant that Artemis knew. It was very humanizing to give Artemis such a close relationship with someone. Three: Saying Butler’s full name (Domovoi) was actually a secret password between them, and was a very touching part of a subplot where Butler almost died. I don’t mind race-blind casting most of the time, but if it meant that calling him “Butler” made things problematic…then it was the wrong choice here. Black people have been massively marginalized and misrepresented in media, but showing Asian (or half Asian, in this case) characters as badass heroes without being silly martial artists is rare. Butler was a master martial artist, but he was also strong, imposing, and extremely capable. Give us the half Asian, badass Butler that we fans deserve!

[@pau_5435]

Yes, thank you!! Also, giving him bleached hair and BLUE FREAKING CONTACTS was completely unecessary ; it made his whole character feel quite gimmicky, and took away so much of his credibility.

[@jennaheiser625]

@@pau_5435 500%

[@moony555]

Not to mention Butler was notorious for 1v1ing a fkin troll while wearing a full suit of armor and a flail after the first book

[@HeroACS]

I stopped reading at “where butler almost died” because I’m only on the first book and haven’t got that far yet😭

[@jennaheiser625]

@@HeroACS Glad you held off! It’s such a fun series! I hope you make it farther than I did (stopped at Atlantis Complex).

[@KardboardKenny]

I'm so old, that i can remember when the name "Disney" on a film guaranteed a great product.

[@thundahsenshi150]

Those were the days....

[@tincano-beans2114]

Except they never have been stellar? They've been a rollercoaster for decades...

[@gadielgonzalez2755]

Heyooooo

[@luismarioguerrerosanchez4747]

@Alex Kerley I think that from Snow White to the Princess and the Frog there were only a few stinckers between. But after they shut down their hand drown animation studios they've only made mediocre safe films.

[@dragonempress8367]

I'm in my twenties and I could still remember those days

[@KarlAndArma4ever]

"The author approved of the script." How much do you wanna bet he only approved of an early script and not the final script (assuming it was ever completely finished before/during film production)?

[@sedy5297]

Wouldn't be weird for it to be such a movie where they change parts of the script everyday seeing how much of a mess it is and it even contradicts itself. It's like no one ever proofread that

[@DraconicDuelist]

@Purple Confidential You mean like they did with Mark Hamill?

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

That's a possibility I never thought of, approving one script that gets swapped later. I should have, though. I mean, Evangeline Lily asked for no love-triangle in script, and apparently the script had no love-triangle for main filming. The script for *reshoots* scenes, on the other hand...

[@Kai-tn4yx]

He's probably proud that his works made it to screen, any author would be. I can't fault him for that.

[@loturzelrestaurant]

Help the plattform here: Why not report-button-smash some racists, flat-earther and p0rn on KZbin? At least that helps us get a bit better of a plattform. A bit healthier.

[@confusedcabal342]

My biggest question is just; why the hell didn't they animate it? Like, they have several animation studios under their belt and a graphic novel that they could have used as inspiration. Its all there, ripe for the taking, but they did nothing with it!! Its baffling!

[@gracekim25]

I agree 😅

[@Yal_Rathol]

like, with percy jackson and avatar, live action makes a degree of sense. artemis fowl happens in a world with literal fairies and magic, animation would have been cheaper at that point, even 2D animation.

[@SuperCosmicMutantSquid]

Animation takes time and money and they'd rather make 20 more fucking Frozen films than animate anything new. The better question is why did they leave this to DISNEY instead of someone else who may have handled it better?

[@Shenaldrac]

Same reason all the other remakes are live action. Because aNiMaTiOn Is FoR cHiLdReN! rEaL fIlMs For AduLtS aRe LiVe AcTiOn! just ignoring that those are all children's movies/books to begin with that can be enjoyed by the whole family...

[@sorryifoldcomment8596]

That takes effort and money though!! :((((

[@noabinnendijk361]

They did WHAT to Butler?? It's a whole entire plot that the Fowl family is not allowed to know the first name of their bodyguards until they die! It gets to be a huge plot point in other books! Forget 'Dom', the whole first name isn't supposed to be used at all!

[@catendway4754]

The more bad book-to-movie adaptations Disney makes the more terrified I become of their take on Percy Jackson I can’t wait to get my cringy childhood book phase desecrated... again

[@mimicmey]

At least Uncle Rick is the one writing the script this time. There might be hope...

[@gerryjweathersthethird5284]

I have high hopes for this, I’ve read all of Rick’s books.

[@catendway4754]

Mimic Mey eh, I’m cautiously optimistic, I’ve checked out of Disney a long time ago and I haven’t read the books in a long ass time So we’ll see when the time comes

[@Shenaldrac]

Hey, liking Young Adult novels isn't cringy in and of itself. It only is if you're reading bad ones. The Percy Jackson series is great.

[@catendway4754]

Shenaldrac Oh no, the books weren’t cringy, *I was*

[@catendway4754]

Movies like this and A Wrinkle in Time all feel the same, I’m surprised Disney didn’t try and make _this_ into a shared universe

[@asher8754]

Don’t give them ideas

[@faiselbutt2944]

That would be super easy. Barely an inconvenience

[@JayTechZM]

@@faiselbutt2944 oh really ?

[@sammichqween]

You mean you didn't already do this in your own mind with the original materials?!?!??!!?!

[@willowx2132]

I can’t wait for the bad movie universe avengers

[@Cheetahgirl_Studios]

I think someone placed a curse on Judy Dench. She’s damned to always feature in uncanny and horrible films. First CATS, now this.

[@panq8904]

Honestly Cats was better than this, at least the music, bad CGI and crazy plot gave it a so-bad-its-good feel. This was just boring as hell.

[@pieceofsunshine1]

There was drama with her manager and how they purposely chose bad movies....

[@marianatheschizoid5912]

At least Cats was enjoyable in a WTF sense

[@misterzygarde6431]

She was also in Dougal

[@StudlyFudd13]

Honestly I think she's at an age where she doesn't give a fuck if the movie is trash or not. She is just having fun regardless of the shit quality. Which is respectable in her own way?

[@taproot0619]

The only nitpick I have is that Changing Root's gender actually is pretty important and damaging. The rest of what was said is spot-on, but this was off the mark for one reason: In the books, holly was the first female officer. The first book opens with her going to the station to report for duty for the first time, and all the excitement and anxiety that came with being the first female officer. She broke the glass ceiling. She had done what no woman in the fairy world had done. And she knew all the men on the force would be skeptical of her (if not down right sexist against her) which gives a much more believable reason as to why the force distrusts her instead of the "your dad was a traiter" b.s. they pulled in the movie. By having Commander Root, the head of the police force, be an old grizzled, veteran female member of the force, it completely takes away Holly's accomplishments. She's just another officer. She is no longer special, nor is she instantly relatable. You don't automatically start cheering for her before you even get past the first chapter this way. It destroys the first connection you have to her as a character. So yeah, tiny nitpick, and the movie definitely deserves all the shit you just threw at it, and probably more. I just think you downplayed this one but as less important than it really was. Sorry for the rant, and have a nice day.

[@DraconicDuelist]

He did add an asterisk, but if people only listen to these videos in the background, they won't know about it...

[@anikmonette2140]

@@DraconicDuelist Yeah, not the best of ways to enjoy videos but otherwise I wouldn't be able to get anything done... 😏

[@beastwarsFTW]

Also making Butler black has the implications of slavery because his family has been serving the Fowl's for countless generations.

[@lillamyy5825]

@@beastwarsFTW since Russia abolished slavery only in 1861, and before it almost all Russian peasants were literal slaves (not serfs, though it's traditionally called that way, but real slaves, with families being sold separately, torture and sexual exploitation allowed by law and murder of a slave rarely punished), his family could have been slaves even with his original race. So maybe they just wanted to avoid those implications and angrying a whole nation of slave descendants? 🤨 just kidding, of course no one really gives a damn about our history 🙃

[@penguano1313]

DONT BE SORRY YOUR'E COMPLETELY CORRECT

[@caradanellemcclintock8178]

I imagined Artemis more like 5 from Umbrella Academy they need to find that kid and get him to do this role

[@dragonbornexpress5650]

I don't remember the actor's name, but holy shit, he did a good job as Five.

[@princewellidk7790]

That's the guy from Nicky Ricky Dicky and Dawn

[@junikigai]

@@dragonbornexpress5650 His name is Aidan Gallagher and yeah he's great in TUA !

[@junikigai]

I think the reason why I instantly loved Five is prob because I had a huge crush on Artemis Fowl as a kid lmao. Aidan Gallagher would nail Artemis' role but he's turning 17 next month so unless they age up Artemis, which would ruin a bit of his charm because him being an evil mastermind at 12yo was what drew the audience, it seems impossible. Disney should have done that movie a few years back & hired Aidan when he was still on that nickolodeon show. But no matter how good the actor, you can't save a movie so badly written ;/

[@8BitRetroGhost]

My thoughts exactly. He'd be awesome.

[@Avarn388]

This movie is an insult to the book, the franchise and just making a movie. And I thought Percy Jackson’s adaptation was bad.

[@hayreddinbarbarossa661]

May I present The Hobbit, sir?

[@laundrybasketgamers]

May I present The Golden Compass, sir?

[@laundrybasketgamers]

jake elwood the hobbit could’ve been a lot worse

[@hayreddinbarbarossa661]

@@laundrybasketgamers well i suppose the Peter Jackson could have also destroyed the 2 &1/2 scenes he got right, but as my all time favourite book that doesn't bare thinking about.

[@jarrodedson5441]

@@hayreddinbarbarossa661 the Hobbit is great

[@greenglassblock1324]

Holly: whitewashed Butler: blackwashed Root: genderswapped (defeating holly's character arc) Artemis: abandoned Mulch: idiot

[@imaadshahrukh4829]

Angeline: Killed off like Charlie's dad in the first Wonka movie

[@MrGeorgeFlorcus]

Hotel: Trivago

[@AverageWagie]

Juliet: blackwashed and ignored Opal: wasted

[@hope4937]

Black washed?

[@greenglassblock1324]

@@hope4937 originally a white character (russian) but changed to a black character for no reason

[@TigerTigerII]

WHERE 👏 IS 👏 ANGELINE 👏 FOWL 👏 Honestly, taking away Artemis' moral chain and making him straight-up good just takes so much away from his character. His connection to his mother making him grapple with his criminal tendencies was one of his most humanizing aspects in the books.

[@rosykindbunny1313]

Ikr I actually watched the movie first and when I finally read the book I was like "Wtf why wasn't she in the movie?"

[@DragonController]

The issue with changing the gender of Commander Root was there was a subplot about the underlying sexism of the LEP and Holly Short had to work extra hard to become the first female member of the organization. This is looked at in depth in the short story "LEPrecon" in The Artemis Fowl Files.

[@calemr]

I loved how it revealed that Root wasn't super harsh just because Holly's female, but because he Really wants to make sure she succeeds, and can't be used by anyone else to suggest women can't be LEPrecon. You're led to think he's kinda sexist towards her, then find out he threatened to quit if his superiors didn't give her the job.

[@skyereave9454]

I mean seriously, it's a huge part of her character motivation in regards to the LEP

[@krankarvolund7771]

In a way it's a perfect example of good feminism versus bad feminism in fiction XD Good feminism, you show what is problematic, and how you heroin can fight it. Bad feminism, just gender swap a character without thinking about it ^^

[@addex1236]

@@krankarvolund7771 pretty much what you said. Its funny in attempt to be more "woke" they made tbe story less "woke"

[@krankarvolund7771]

@@addex1236 hat's a mark of either being totally blind to the question or being totally stupid XD

[@alexhoughton3305]

*The troll fightscene in the book:* _one of the most badass things to ever exist in a children's book_ *The troll fightscene in the movie:* _ResidentSleeper_

[@Nippontradamus]

It would be fitting to have Rip and Tear playing in the book version, because Butler owns and *spares* the life of a troll with nothing but an armor and mace, which usually takes a small army of magical beings to just tranquillise

[@HRush-lu6fj]

You know would’ve made a good Artemis Fowl, the guy that plays Number Five on Umbrella Academy. May be a little bit older but I think he could’ve made it work.

[@onyxxed6582]

I AGREE. The kid RADIATES Artemis Fowl vibes

[@viella90]

Absolutely! when I saw five for the first time I said to my sister he radiated artemis fowl energy and she agreed. The only thing that would have stood in the way is that Colfer really wanted an Irish actor for Artemis

[@carlotta4th]

Frankly I don't mind aging up child actors in films--it's *so* hard to find a good child actor, but finding a good early teen actor is way easier.

[@hazelm3002]

I think that the actor who plays five and the actor who plays Artemis fowl are the same age so the five actor definitely could’ve played the part

[@georgejones5019]

I completely agree. Thats who I was picturing and then I saw the bits here. Big fail by Disney.

[@snap-n-shoot]

Colin Farrell must be ashamed of himself allowing himself to have to use stereotypical Irish phrases that only Americans seems to think we use.

[@flapjack2330]

The only people who use those phrases are stereotypical over the top "Irish" youtubers Except for Jacksepticeye. He's cool

[@ArrowOdenn]

Eoin is pronounced "Owen" :) I read the first three books when they were published and then studied one at university as part of a course on children's literature. From what I gather quite a lot of details from the book(s) but didn't put them together properly and added a needless McGuffin and Colin Farrell, for some reason. Changing Root's gender negates the sexism that Holly went through in the books... I haven't watched the film. I don't think I want to.

[@panq8904]

As someone who sat through with it in the background while I played Animal Crossing, definitely don't, watering flowers and fishing were the only things keeping me sane...

[@CynicalReviews]

I remembered the sexism part in the book as I was about to render the video, but I thought it was too late to record and edit an extra bit, which is why I added the note underneath.

[@patrickmascarenhas4414]

@@CynicalReviews Artemis Fowl the movie that Josh Gad and Judi Dench tried their best to be cast as Batman in a Batman movie. Nuff Said.

[@gracekim25]

I learnt this from X-Factor, I admit

[@LittleMissLounge]

Stephen Mitchell I get what you're saying, but I think a female character with serious internalized misogyny could also fulfill that role just fine.

[@tardisgirl1237]

The reason he could suddenly read Gnomish is because they deleted a scene of him decoding the book and finally figuring out what it meant. That's like cutting out the scene where Luke Skywalker gets his lightsaber, you kind of need that in your movie!!!!

[@j.dpost-mortem9115]

Also speaking of 12 year old villains, the director worked on Harry Potter! Ever heard of Draco Malfoy?

[@carlotta4th]

Draco had great lines and a fantastic actor, though. This Artemis had atrocious lines and... well I can't tell if he's acting bad or not through the awful lines. But he definitely doesn't feel like Artemis.

[@themimsy]

he wasn't a villain though. he was just a bully who tried to be evil to live up to his family's standards, but utterly failed in the end.

[@tangyhyperspace2217]

Yea draco was more of an anti hero/rival

[@tiaaaron3278]

@@themimsy He was also a supporting character. Disney can't have an antihero as the protagonist.

[@slevinchannel7589]

Its amazing. You think the Last Airbender failed so hard it 'could never happen again', right? But we have THREE of this 'Level' in 2020/2021: -Artemis Fowl, duh. -Mulan 2020. -Winx Club Life Action. If you didnt knew all 3... youre welcome. Have fun with the Reviews on them, cause many of them are rather fun. But before that: Read my comment to the end! All 3 are just on the 'Not just bad'-Level. aka 'the Dragonball Evolution Level', despite reasonable thinking suggesting this cant just happen again and again and again. It happened 3 times alone those last years. All this tells us that its not just a joke when people say 'Quality gets more rare', but literal a Trend that happens.

[@tomofekshlomai7706]

Swapping the gender of commander Root ruins Holly, alot of her character arc is about being the first female officer in the lepricons

[@slevinchannel7589]

4:42: You cant tell me this is Coincidence. Its too much/many for that. C'mon.

[@justsomeguy2825]

The part where Artimis magically becomes forever friends with the fairy group is probably the most insulting thing you can throw at a fan. Because who cares about Holly initially hating Artimis because he kidnapped her, yet saving him from a Troll because she's a good person. Or the fact that the friendship developed over several books after adversaries, through being forced together to acheive similar goals, gain respect for one another, and develop and grow as characters. If you're Disney, you can just ship a group together for no reason.

[@demaistremarcaurele4247]

I know it took us 4 books before they could even be called friends as a result of cooperation, saving each other, understanding the other person and forgiveness. You cant just cram that in 1 movie

[@justsomeguy2825]

@@demaistremarcaurele4247 The movie could have ended the way it did in the book, with Holly Despising artimis but having a Begrudged respect for him, because he sacrificed half of the bounty to save his mother. Which makes it more insulting that they killed her off. The movie took the one redeemable trait to Artimis' character (his love for his mother), and turned it into the motivation for his only movie character flaw(his grief over his mother making him a bit of a dick)

[@slevinchannel7589]

4:42: You cant tell me this is Coincidence...

[@NatalieN500]

@@demaistremarcaurele4247 And that arc in the book from enemies to friends was powerful and felt earned!

[@imaadshahrukh4829]

Artemis Fowl joins Eragon, The Golden Compass, The Seeker: The Dark is Rising, Inkheart, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, Mortal Engines, and A Wrinkle in Time among book-based fantasy movies that failed with first installment.

[@dragonbornexpress5650]

The Eragon movie is a complete shitshow. It hurts as I personally love the books, all four of them. No idea when the author is going to get back to the world of that series, (spelling it would be a nightmare) but hopefully he does good.

[@imaadshahrukh4829]

@@dragonbornexpress5650 The movie butchered the book by turning it into a generic medieval fantasy film. The Seeker did the same by ditching the source material by creating a Harry Potter rip-off.

[@anthonykeller1957]

How the hell did Lord of the Rings do it??!!

[@softcrab3361]

How was the giver though?

[@milicadiy]

@Imaad Shahrukh Thank you for making me add The Dark Is Rising series to my TBR. All the other series were already there (except Eragon and TMI, which I left out on purpose).

[@The_amazing_dust]

This Artemis looks like he was supposed to be a young Peter Parker and ended up in the wrong movie

[@professionalpainthuffer]

This artemis looks like the kid I clumsily curbstomped in seventh grade when he called me a dyke. I know canonically Artemis is a wimpy little beanstalk, but isn't he like, supposed to be an unnerving, spooky little dude who puts adults on edge? This child does nothing for me except elicit a faint feeling of heartburn

[@Marian-zw2ff]

hahahaha this!

[@TheAJmoviemaker]

@@professionalpainthuffer Yeah, for real. I read the graphic novel and one of the books, and Artemis was always portrayed as being very cold and kinda unnerving to people. This actor looks like they could have been cast to play Greg Heffley in Diary of a Wimpy Kid

[@night-seeker666]

@@TheAJmoviemaker Also, Artemis had been described to have looked at his computer for so long that he went pale. If that's pale, then I'm Indian.

[@cassandrabrooks5185]

@@professionalpainthuffer Yeah it was both humans and fairies was terrify of him :)

[@oricalu448]

Swapping the gender of Root is actually a huge problem. In the books, Holly's whole thing is how she is the first female LEP officer and how she has to deal with being the "test case" and trying (and failing) to live up to the level of perfection demanded of her because of it. Making Root female just removes all of the struggles and motivations for Holly and leaves her as a terrible character.

[@TransparentlyDuplicitous]

I swear Eoin Colfer had a metaphorical gun to his head when he said that he approved of the changes in this adaptation. That's basically what a contract with Disney and its lawyers is.

[@aleisterlavey9716]

I think, it is more like Balls in a Vice.

[@morriskat171]

Disney had him in the Femur Breaker

[@CheekyTop1]

they paid him

[@waltercomunello121]

yeah. bad thing is, he having being involved in such a trainwreck could have shook the trust his readers had in him.

[@ericthered2963]

You are only right if that metaphorical gun is made out of Dollar Bills.

[@Cheetahgirl_Studios]

I’d also like to add as an Irish person that we do not claim responsibility for this car crash of a film and sincerely apologise to all other nations for this atrocity.

[@jasonbowman9521]

And as a U.S.A. citizen, sorry you had to endure bad Irish accents and " Top o' the Morning." sorry. lol. May I have some Lucky Charms please?

[@panq8904]

@@jasonbowman9521 Lmao, we've only recently started selling Lucky Charms in Ireland, under the American sweets section...

[@panq8904]

I'll 2nd that apology, from the North especially, can't believe Ken Bran fucked it up for us this badly.

[@debzykvids]

Right with you here. Hoping we get better examples of Celtic Irish lore in the future. At least Cartoon Saloon's made a start with their movies.

[@Cheetahgirl_Studios]

jason bowman Certainly. **pours him a bowl** Here you are. 🥣

[@jbennett5634]

"This might be the worst adaptation since Avatar: The Last Airbender" and with that i give a like to the video

[@kyotheman69]

yeah no, avatar was bad, but not as bad as Percy Jackson, Jem, John Carter, and so on.

[@Druid-T]

@@kyotheman69 I mean, "let's keep the people whose powers are control over Earth in a place entirely made of Earth". All of those movies are awful and stupid, but Avatar had multiple plot points that didn't work even if it wasn't connected to any source material, that's something DB:E can barely claim

[@yomommasofatthanoshadtosna3479]

"This might well be the worst adaptation since Avatar the last airbender" Me: **has flashbacks of Percy Jackson movie adaptations and cries** Also, this is what happens when you let Lockhart direct a movie...

[@nekotrash6664]

At least percy jackson is a watchable film, avatar like this film isnt even so bad its good. Percy jackson is like the twilight films, a guilty pleasure.

[@gremlyn1658]

lmaooo, he got amnesia over what the book was like. Quite appropriate.

[@lbanana322]

At least Percy Jackson has a vague resemblance to the book

[@chrispysaid]

Judy Dench's agent legitimately hates her. It's an actual thing. She's been cast in two absolute flops in a row. Look into it, it's a real problem.

[@daniboy4153]

Poor Judy

[@sawspitfire422]

Remind me why she can't just fire her agent?

[@AverageWagie]

She should just retire already. She's almost blind by glaucoma and I doubt she needs the money

[@RocketeerRaccoon]

I don't forgive her, in Goldeneye she called Bond "a sexist, misogynist dinosaur", and this was way back in the 90s before Wokeness became a thing...

[@chrispysaid]

@@RocketeerRaccoon He IS a sexist, mysogynist dinosaur

[@Larry]

I've never read the books, but watched the film as it looked interesting, but to me it felt like the movie ended during the second act, the big fairy fight felt like the mid-film battle.

[@mrsone2000]

But hello, you!

[@chrishansen1842]

@@mrsone2000 that just. Does not feel right at all. The pause. The placement of that line. Seriously why

[@aceofquarantine7355]

Please go read the books they are so much more entertaining and enjoyable

[@nicconasi]

Dude I've read the book and I don't finished the film😂

[@snap-n-shoot]

The movie wont be a spoiler to the books as it has no semblance. Read the books, you will enjoy them.

[@HardwareHorizon]

Why do directors assume the greatest source material is garbage and they have to change it!?! Prevalent problem with video game adaptations to movies as well.

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

Right?! Like, oh this book is so popular and financially successful -- better not make the film based on it resemble it in the least!

[@josephstalin7801]

They basically pulled a luke Skywalker on this book series in my opinion

[@GumshoeClassic]

Exactly. Do they seriously think that they have to change things simply because part of the audience didn't know the source material, as if that meant that they didn't like it? And it boggles my mind how these directors apparently never thought that maybe people are going into the movie because they liked what it's based on.... *Cries in Monster Hunter movie*

[@wyntertheicewyvern6226]

It's because they think they're being 'artistic' or 'creative'. Example: Tell It To The Bees was a book about a woman who moves to a small town with her son to get away from her bad marriage with her husband. She falls in love with a woman who is a doctor and bee keeper. At the end of the book, the two move to Paris and live happily together. In the movie adaptation, only the mother and son go. The bee keeper promises to come later, but never does. The director said she wanted to be more artistic and do a bittersweet ending. The author of the book was very unhappy with the change. She said it's been common in media to ruin positive LGBTQ+ relationships, and that the bittersweet ending should have been left for 'typical straight loves stories'.

[@cartooncritique6625]

Brainless corporate executives and arrogant film directors that's why.

[@enoyreve4196]

Disney had two choices: 1. Make a movie that is actually faithful to the first book with slight changes at most, its decently successful enough for sequels, have seven more books worth of material to use to get seven more successful movies worth of profit. 2. Make this dumpster fire trying to cram random bits of different books in at the cost of losing time to actually develop any of the plots, messing up the possible plots of any future movies they may attempt, make only one flop of a movie's worth of profit

[@fr5161]

I really dont get why all the big studios keep making these mistakes. I mean I get that you cant adapt a book 1:1 and you might have to change or cut a few things. But just compare the insanely successful Harry Potter movie franchise which is probably as close as you can get to the source material to all these fucked up movie adaptations that failed - Eragon, Percy Jackson, Artemis Fowl, ATLA, Deathnote,.... They want to adapt these movies because they already have a huge book/anime following but then pull an 180 on characters, plot , setting, themes and are somehow surprised when these movies get lots of hate and fail at the box office. I really dont understand how this keeps happening.

[@jentoons5732]

“Do a good job. You don’t have to worry about the money; it will take care of itself. Just do your best work - then try to trump it.” “I don’t make pictures just to make money. I make money to make more pictures.” “Money doesn’t excite me, my ideas excite me.” *”I do not like to repeat successes, I like to go on to other things.”* These are all quotes by Walt Disney himself. This sort of monopoly cash-grab future is NOT what he would’ve wanted.

[@alexandresobreiramartins9461]

After Walt died, the company just went slowly down the drain.

[@Annayasha]

Jesus, everything he said it's exactly the opposite of the Disney of today. wtf happened?

[@natesmodelsdoodles5403]

@@Annayasha Business happened. When Walt Disney started out, he understood that money was a means to an end, and that that end involved dreamers and artists creating masterpieces, which would bring in more money, which in turn would allow those dreamers and artists to create bigger and bolder masterpieces. The Disney of today is run by business people, without any dreamers or artists holding the reins.

[@fawnieee]

He was also massively anti-Semitic and quite the bigot.

[@jentoons5732]

Richella River yes but that’s not the point of my comment. I know disney isn’t the best person, but when it comes to animation and filmmaking he’s clearly passionate.

[@annabanana7659]

Movie Artemis: Your dad died? That's so sad! Omg you're my new bestie! Book Artemis: Your dad's dead? Let me play a sad song for you with the world's smallest violin (while drafting a ransom note).

[@FowlManor]

I never thought I'd say this so here goes; Compared to Artemis Fowl, The Last Airbender is a faithful adaptation of it's source material... There I said it and I meant it

[@DraconicDuelist]

Oof. That hurts in my everything.

[@laurabauer8489]

Sad but true - the gaaangs characters got slaughtered but artemis just isn't the same character on any level

[@frazzledazzle1563]

At least Avatar actually kept it's characters and general story, even if it butchered the execution completely.

[@Necromancer0225]

Oof

[@benjaminfawkes385]

Have you seen the source material?

[@tokstar3235]

wow the dialogue for an Irish woman is "top of the morning to ya" wow so original. well done writers you're so funny😐😐....

[@gracekim25]

They think that’s all irish people say😅

[@justaperson8381]

"Top of the morning to ya my name is jacksepticeye-"

[@cartooncritique6625]

The writers must be Jacksepticeye fans. XD

[@solibeau]

Root being female just doesn't sit right considering a lot of Holly's story was her struggle on being the first female LEP officer.

[@PlayerZeroStart]

I feel so out of place because everyone's talking about how they loved reading Artemis Fowl growing up, while I'm here having never heard of the series until the movie.

[@kayla4551]

Read it, it's good except from this garbage

[@travissmith5994]

I never read the book, but watched the movie because I wanted to watch a bad movie. Normally you can find *some* redeeming qualities or ideas in the worst of movies, but I would have to rewatch this one to find any

[@vortexinperson]

I didn't hear about the books until I saw the trailer for the movie. Trailer sparked a tiny bit of interest, so I went and read the books. So I will say one good thing about this trainwreck: it introduced me to one of the best book series I've ever read

[@sethkrueger9294]

Sorry to hear that you've never been to a Scholastic Book Fair before.

[@PlayerZeroStart]

@@sethkrueger9294 I have, but the book fairs I had, if they had Artemis Fowl available, I didn't pay it any mind.

[@confusedfey9192]

When I heard Mulch narrating my dad had to bribe me to stay in the room. Those of you who have read up to the 8th book (do not read past this if you haven't, SPOILERS) know that holly is the one telling the whole story to a brought back Artemis. If you want a visual representation of the first book, just read the graphic novel. There's two versions and both are good

[@Miyanoai14]

Was it the WHOLE story or just 8th book? I mean I guess it doesn't matter necessarily cause she would have had to tell the whole story anyway, but I certainly doubt Colfer had that in mind when writing the previous books (he especially didn't know he would even get more books after the first, hence the open and closed story). Though I guess if this movie was actually good and clever it would have had Holly narrate as lowkey foreshadow to the 8th.

[@benkaes3657]

@@Miyanoai14 the 8th book ends with the beginning of the first book, so I assume Holly is telling him the entire series

[@supersnackbros2423]

Username is all too fitting.

[@Cattensu]

But it wasn't Holly in the first book telling the story. It was a report by Dr. J Argon. One of the supposed expers on behavior that was brought in to analyzes Artemis' behavior during his meeting with Root. Holly using the same words at the end of the Last Guardian that began the first is a sweet call back though, and did bring the series seemingly full circle. But I doubt that the chuckleheads behind this movie did more then just skim the first few books. They more then likely did not read all of them.

[@Zkeleton969]

My first experience was with the graphic novel, and my God it was so good. Illustrated the world and characters better than even the books could in my opinion.

[@kiss2cry]

Hollys escape from her cell is one of the funniest moments in the book. the book is hilarious and fun and i dont understand why they changed it when the book provided comedy gold.

[@Jackylification]

I’m so glad I didn’t watch this. He lets Holly out, when, in the book she escapes by her damn self? I hate when directors decide children or their audience in general is too stupid to get something when they already did. We read the books, todays kids aren’t stupider. They’d get it.

[@StudlyFudd13]

You're right, kids aren't dumb these days...the directors are getting dumber though.

[@1Thunderfire]

Honestly, it makes me sad. A lot of young adult and children's authors treat their audience with great respect, exploring mature ideas and trusting their young readers to be capable of intelligent thought. Same with cartoons like Avatar. And well-written media for children can often be enjoyed by adults too. Unfortunately, you then get directors who decide that kids are thick and need talking down which makes other people also decide that kids are thick or soft and an example of today's degeneracy or something.

[@bobbymarr1297]

I would disagree that kids are dumber these days. Thing is it's partially the fault of everything being dumbed down. I grew up in the 90s when writers and directors were sneaking more adult themes past producers and censors. Those shows ended up being huge hits like x-men and gargoyles. For some reason though the producers got mad, cancelled the successful shows and dumbed everything down. Only way kids are gunna get smarter is if we expect them to and give them opportunities to.

[@Aster_Risk]

@@bobbymarr1297 Kids today aren't dumber than we were in the 90s. Your comment does nothing to support that.

[@cheebadigga4092]

- reads book - changes everything - figures it's a "tough nut to crack" lmao

[@lalehiandeity1649]

Who says they read the book? lol

[@cheebadigga4092]

Did you watch this review?

[@dwightvol473]

Welcome to the world of Dark Tower fandom.

[@JoelKellenProductions]

Well, this is the same company that threw out decades of Star Wars Expanded Universe books, comics, novels, and video games, then complained that they don't have any source material to pull from for the sequel trilogy.

[@JoelKellenProductions]

@Ian Knight Don't forget in addition to creatively bankrupt, they're also morally bankrupt. I only hope they became financially bankrupt as well.

[@TheGreatThicc]

"This might well be the worst adaptation since Avatar: The Last Airbender" The World War Z movie literally had only 1 scene from the book and that scene was about 10 seconds long, the Russians going apeshit on zombies with whatever old shit was in their garage and/or attic.

[@dannnarutam]

I never read the book for WWZ which is probably why I enjoyed the movie. But I think the movie would have worked out better if they just didn't claim they based it on the book cuz just like what u said, it was so different from the source material 🤣

[@TheSmart-CasualGamer]

That works as a film if you ignore it's connections to the source material, like the Super Mario Bros movie.

[@sandorenckell5259]

i, Robot is a book about how robots should be trusted because they don’t have human flaws. i, Robot the movie shares no scenes from the book and is about a robot uprising

[@XDesertRatX]

The Jerusalem scene was is the book too. I kinda understand not being able to show all the scene from the book in that movie because of the layout. It actually would have been pretty cool if they made the movie documentary/interview style like the book though. I wish Admiral Xu Zhicai's story could be made into it's own movie because it's fucking awesome.

[@Animefreakess]

@@dannnarutam Otherwise known as the Shining effect lol :p :D

[@olivercrowley9367]

“Worst adaptation since the last air bender” Percy Jackson has entered the chat

[@slevinchannel7589]

Your comment is right for you, buddy: Its amazing. You think the Last Airbender failed so hard it 'could never happen again', right? But we have THREE of this 'Level' in 2020/2021: -Artemis Fowl, duh. -Mulan 2020. -Winx Club Life Action. If you didnt knew all 3... youre welcome. Have fun with the Reviews on them, cause many of them are rather fun. But before that: Read my comment to the end! All 3 are just on the 'Not just bad'-Level. aka 'the Dragonball Evolution Level', despite reasonable thinking suggesting this cant just happen again and again and again. But yet, it happened again. Movies so laughably bad they have Plot Holes so massive as if someone said they need to find 5 Big Magic-Stones and then also 3 Small Stones and combine them all, so they have 6 Stones overall - and after this is said no one ever cares about M-Stones ever again!!! And thats saying it nicely!! It happened 3 times alone those last years. All this tells us that its not just a joke when people say 'Quality gets more rare', but literally a Trend that happens.

[@blazekyn813]

@@slevinchannel7589 .... their was a winx club live action?

[@slevinchannel7589]

@@blazekyn813 !!

[@neilmartinoconnor]

Take it from me, an Irish person. No-one Irish ever says "Top of the morning". EVER.

[@cm9231]

So fucking true!!

[@TheBest-go4kg]

So its like eh in Canada, not used nearly as often as the stereotype suggests?

[@professionalpainthuffer]

What aboutjacksepticeye tho Jokes aside, it's incredibly cringy to hear it said unironically. Could be worse, but idk how

[@ScoutTrooperTK]

Someone saying "Top of the morning" sounds like what an American would say because he watched Jacksepticeye and thinks that's what the Irish say, all of them

[@kunsmeister]

@@TheBest-go4kg nah, it'd be more like the Canadian Cliche "up in the wabber dongle"...... ....Not at all a thing that Canadians say.

[@TheKinoCorner]

Me when I see CJ upload: IT'S FEEDING TIME!

[@Megatron_95]

Sounds about right

[@Messwithmitchie]

yum.

[@christophergordon6250]

This movie seems so convoluted that it contradicts its own writing. If it's really Last-Airbender-levels of bad, then I understand why.

[@Miyanoai14]

It's Last Airbender in that it's pretty rushed and pretty much all exposition, lame action and Percy Jackson in that it added plot points that like...weren't originally there

[@dragongirl7978]

I feel like Last Airbender at least followed the plot better than this. This is like Ella Enchanted level of plot demolishing, except that Ella Enchanted was at least a fun movie, if a horrible adaptation.

[@sychuan3729]

Airbender was much better than this

[@timmyzimmy2459]

i feel like aidan gallagher would’ve made a good artemis fowl

[@NorokVokun]

a tad too old for the first book and maaaaybe the second (can't remember how old artemis was in the second) but yeah... looks wise Aidan is rather spot on. a bit of (GOOD) CGI deageing or simple practical effect type of mask work to make him still look the part while fitting the younger age the character has and you'd have a damn spot on Artemis.

[@xclx9056]

YES FIVE OMG

[@tiaaaron3278]

That boy Jacob from the Room movie might be good for Artemis. He's the right age, I think.

[@xclx9056]

@@tiaaaron3278 NOOOOOO HE LOOL BAAADDD

[@tayloradams3993]

My theory: Mulch is completely lying.

[@darthplagueis13]

Probably lied about his size too, the crafty little bugger

[@TeamMemberNumberEight]

I thought this might be it too.... maybe it's a back door for a reboot?

[@DatWittyName]

Just like Qwark in the Ratchet and Clank reboot.

[@soltandvinegar]

I had the opportunity to audition for Artemis Fowl in this. Some of my drama class friends actually did, because we’re all Irish. But I think I can speak for all of us that, for the first time in our short, jobless careers, we’re glad we didn’t get it.

[@justaghostinthesea]

Godspeed to you and your career

[@nezukokamado9263]

you certainly avoided this mess.

[@daraflaherty245]

Disney: so, have you read the book? Director: oh yeah, one of the interns gave me the names. Disney: but, have you read the book...? Director: what book? Disney: *the one you're making a movie on* Director: I didn't know it was a book. I'll get my intern to read it. *later* Director: so it's kinda like Harry Potter in Ireland, yeah? Disney: *sigh* here's 125 million. Make it work.

[@dimataha7175]

Yeah....totally like harry Except it is a 2001 world, not a 1900's world like harry's.(for Director)->Duh!

[@dimataha7175]

(Sign here 125 million)->😑😑 Im speechless

[@Sigismund697]

That's dump, if anything Disney would tell him to just make Harry Potter in Ireland

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

Be careful, Dara; Disney will want to know how you got your hands on recordings of actual Disney-reps conversation... >.>

[@cassandrabrooks5185]

LOL!!

[@nyotamwuaji6484]

Actually making root a woman did affect the story negatively. Root was seen sort of as a father figure toward holly and was only tough on her because she was the only FEMALE officer to make it as far as she had. This is expressly explained in the books

[@qzoid3060]

“One word: Disney.”

[@Messwithmitchie]

what a BOLD statement

[@streetrat48]

@@Messwithmitchie Very brave

[@ΣκοτώνωΧαρά]

No... 'Top of the morning'

[@theprepaintedcanvis3452]

Didney

[@sabertooth1980]

The mother is missing... Yeah, cause it's a *Disney* movie. Mother? What mother? All mothers are *dead*, imprisoned, missing, or evil. CAUSE *DISNEY!* Cue the disney movie opening music.

[@98953812]

*Da-na-na-na-naaaaa*

[@dimataha7175]

Yes it is a fact😓........but......Woah, chill!😅😅

[@Marvelfanatic3658]

Wait 🤚🏿 wdym imprisoned?

[@TheHiddenDirector]

*clears throat* Sleeping Beauty Lion King Princess and the Frog Tangled 101 Dalmatians Aristocats Treasure Planet Peter Pan Zootopia And that's not including Pixar movies, as I consider them writing-wise separate entities.

[@tiaaaron3278]

They changed Artemis's motivation to his dad instead. Disney says fuck moms. Sexist.

[@thepresence365]

When I found out it was Disney making the movie, I lost all hope. The same kind of thing happenned to A Series of Unfortunate Events.

[@denkikaminari7596]

There was a full series on Netflix that was actually good of a series of unfortunate events if you were disappointed by the movie

[@ArchivistMarker]

@@denkikaminari7596 you can says that it was a fortunate Series of unfortunate events.

[@frozentsunami]

I was looking for this comment. the only good thing about the movie was that jim carey was in it.

[@adamsalvinsky2327]

Is it just me or Number 5 from Umbrella Academy is doing like bilion times better job at personyfying Artemis Fowl? :D

[@Ro-qz3vu]

Late to the party but heck yes! I love Five, he nails the snarky genius.

[@Milky_Mercy]

This just reminds me of how Hollywood butchered Eragon.

[@daniboy4153]

Please don't bring that movie and it's sequels up...

[@cooldragon1990]

@@daniboy4153 I wasn't aware there were movies after Eragon. Were they direct to video or do you mean the book sequels. I thought there were only the one movie because it did poorly

[@daniboy4153]

They are direct to video

[@FeuerblutRM]

And DragonBall...

[@hayreddinbarbarossa661]

So bad I'd wiped it from my memory. Thanks. Still not as bad as The Hobbit atrocities.

[@ColdFuse96]

4:38 This movie succeeded in both White Washing AND Black Washing a character. Usually a movie just does one or the other, but this is the first time ive ever heard of a movie doing both 😂 Get them out of here 😑

[@morriskat171]

Bruh they even turned a dwarf into a giant, like, what the literal hell 🤣

[@NorokVokun]

@@morriskat171 and genderswapping Root into a female ruining Hollys arch of wanting to become the first female high ranking Leprecon officer...

[@dionemoolman]

The live action Avatar The Last Airbender movie did that years ago. They made Aang (who ethnically most resembled Tibetan) and Katara/Sokka (who most resembled Inuit) into Caucasians, and everyone in the Fire Nation (who resembled Japanese) were Indian or Middle Eastern.

[@anatoldenevers237]

Luciano Martinez the biggest issue with Butler though is that they use his first name, which we hear like four times in the course of eight books

[@caustic9947]

When I was a child, I was _obsessed_ with the series. I was the weirdo who read it instead of Harry Potter. The movie absolutely devastated me. My advice? Read the graphic novels. They're well drawn and a much better adaptation.

[@zafool4997]

Where would you get them, my good sir?

[@caustic9947]

@@zafool4997 I believe you can read all of them for free on readcomicsonline, but there might be banner ads. You can install a chrome adblocker to get rid of them.

[@dimataha7175]

A CHILD!!!!! I JUST FOUND ABOUT IT😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@georgeray1906]

The funny thing is that I have all four Artemis Fowl graphic novels.

[@jbsgroup96]

I remember seeing one interview with Colfer shortly after the movie came out where he said he was very pleased with how it came out, but while saying that looked like someone ripped his heart out and he was being forced to compliment the person who did it. I highly doubt he was happy about any of the changes. Nobody can watch their biggest achievement be butchered that badly right in front of them and be happy. But as is so common in these industries, any objection he made was likely shot down by higher ups, and then he was forced to say he was happy with it in interviews.

[@tinycloud7738]

Look how they’ve massacred my boy

[@slevinchannel7589]

Its amazing. You think the Last Airbender failed so hard it 'could never happen again', right? But we have THREE of this 'Level' in 2020/2021: -Artemis Fowl, duh. -Mulan 2020. -Winx Club Life Action. If you didnt knew all 3... youre welcome. Have fun with the Reviews on them, cause many of them are rather fun. But before that: Read my comment to the end! All 3 are just on the 'Not just bad'-Level. aka 'the Dragonball Evolution Level', despite reasonable thinking suggesting this cant just happen again and again and again. But yet, it happened again. Movies so laughably bad they have Plot Holes so massive as if someone said they need to find 5 Big Magic-Stones and then also 3 Small Stones and combine them all, so they have 6 Stones overall - and after this is said no one ever cares about M-Stones ever again!!! And thats saying it nicely!! It happened 3 times alone those last years. All this tells us that its not just a joke when people say 'Quality gets more rare', but literal a Trend that happens.

[@hampter460]

I heard that there will also be a Powerpuff Girls Live Action featuring adult girls. Exciting right? ha...haha..definitely cant wait to watch the movie..haha

[@eleanorflynn7772]

@@hampter460 no. god please no.

[@geekchic8798]

Artemis Fowl is one of those books series that I could see being adapted into a animated series than a film series.

[@dr_lubaba]

I agree

[@dseray9494]

Agreed

[@reciterbunni4052]

I was always wondering who was going to make Artemis Fowl into a movie. And after the Hunger Games movies success and the Percy Jackson movies failure, I figured whoever it was would at least have a shot to make it accurate and treat the source material with competency. Then I saw that Disney was making it. That was when i lost all hope for this series getting treated with any decency or respect. 😞

[@jakmanxyom]

I kinda thought Artemis Fowl would be too "foreign" for Disney's all-American sensibilities and that they'd rather do it in some European collaboration a la W.I.T.C.H... I gave up the moment as early as when the adaptation was announced to be live action - there's something about Artemis Fowl's premise that seems too hard to suspend disbelief unless it's presented in a very stylised and surreal way (which the graphic novels was successfully done).

[@emeraldemperor2601]

A massive part of holly's character is being the only woman LEPrecon. One simple casting decision wipes that arc from existence.

[@Nekrozys]

I grew up with the Artemis Fowl series of books. This just made me want to forget all about the movie and read them again.

[@spi231]

i read them all every other day im a fast reader

[@diegomadera9700]

This time, listen to the audio books, the reader & voices for each character are amazing & listening to them is very likely the closest to a good movie adaptation (or tv series) you will ever get. So much scope for the imagination. I was so sad when those ended, but the Fowl Twins are excellent also.

[@nolaq99]

me too, they were the perfect early teenager books: fantasy, action, thriller, sci-fi. u actually learn that sometimes acting like the bad guy is important in the right context. i devoured the 4th 5th and 6th book in a month of summer holiday back then.. now those books have yellow pages but they are still precious to me. they where my childhood. my escape route. disney butchered them all

[@tinycrimester]

They should have cast Macaulay Culkin as Artemis. Yes, 2020 Macaulay Culkin. Call it subverting the expectations.

[@StraytheSkies]

I would watch that instead of what we got tbh

[@raycearcher5794]

I would absolutely buy 2020 Macaulay Culkin as a career criminal anyway

[@johannesseyfried7933]

"So, how should we make Mulch Diggums look like for our Movie?" "Make him look like Hagrid!" "Why?" "Because of the Parallels, Idiot! Hagrid is a Giant, and Mulch is a Dwarf. Now the Dwarf looks like Hagrid, who normally ISN'T a Dwarf!" "I don't get your Logic, Sir." "I don't understand my Logic either. But maybe I will, once I come down from my Drugs."

[@prajwaljayaraj5887]

Trust me if they did drugs, it could have been better

[@alexistheamazing2796]

Prajwal Jayaraj at least it would be interesting

[@unwarranteddesign806]

As for Dench's casting, it took away from Holly's importance as she was the first and only female captain of LEPrecon. So the writers took that accomplishment away from her, thereby robbing the movie of a potentially interesting storyline about how she was paving the way for female fairy equality...

[@David_the_Psalmist]

I think the reason the author was "okay" with the changes was simply for the sake of his career. He probably thought it would have been bad for his career if he caused controversy, especially given the already troubled development. Is that true? I can't say. It might very well be. In any case, I seriously doubt he ever was or ever will be totally fine with the changes in his heart of hearts, which honestly just makes this whole thing sadder.

[@Nudgarrobot]

@@kaistzar2831 Today I learned that Airman could have had a movie adaptation and didn't and damn that sucks. Then again, with how much I loved that book and how much they fucked this up, maybe it's for the best.

[@madeherselfqueen]

•TheKaisTzar • The video above says the film has been in development since 2001, and I remember waiting for it since 2005. But I think that adds more weight to everyone’s case here.

[@sanchitvarma1282]

I think Eoin Colfer by this point just wanted to get on with his life and move on from this.

[@sarahgranger7780]

First Percy Jackson, then the last avatar, then death note and now Artemis fowl

[@SLIDD_DDILS]

Don't forget ' A Wrinkle In Time '

[@ekl4572]

Add Mortal Engines to the list

[@lalehiandeity1649]

Some of those simply wouldn’t work in live action.

[@dr_lubaba]

These series are better as 2D animation.

[@thecrazedchef7278]

Let's not forget the infamous super Mario Bros movie. There's also the legend of Zelda cartoon where link talks, and his catchphrase is "well excuuuuse me princess!"

[@melissaoconnell1]

When mulch tunnels in within the movie adaptation, he tunnels into the top floor, from underground, just, Disney, why?

[@slevinchannel7589]

Its amazing. You think the Last Airbender failed so hard it 'could never happen again', right? But we have THREE of this 'Level' in 2020/2021: -Artemis Fowl, duh. -Mulan 2020. -Winx Club Life Action. All 3 are just on the 'Not just bad'-Level. aka 'the Dragonball Evolution Level', despite reasonable thinking suggesting this cant just happen again and again and again. But yet, it happened again. Movies so laughably bad they have Plot Holes so massive as if someone said they need to find 5 Big Magic-Stones and then also 3 Small Stones and combine them all, so they have 6 Stones overall - and after this is said no one ever cares about M-Stones ever again!!! And thats saying it nicely!! It happened 3 times alone those last years. All this tells us that its not just a joke when people say 'Quality gets more rare', but literlyal a Trend that happens.

[@prabhatjaiswal6857]

"Everything is better in the books. You'll be safe." loved that.

[@AK474000]

It's odd they changed Root's Gender since there was a pretty decent subtext for Holly being the first female LEP officer. In the books she essentially lays the foundation for that industry and future female LEP officers and it is very very odd that the director's here didn't bother exploring that entire dynamic. And Artemis is a layered and complicated character it isn't that he always gets his way or that he doesn't have flaws, he certainly does and over the course of these books he gains a greater capacity for empathy and sympathy. The once cold hearted calculated young mind ends up learning by the end of the series there is something more valuable than any amount of riches in the world. It's a story told through the test of time and it's a shame they did not bother to adapt that.

[@marsmia4869]

This isn't Artemis Fowl, this is Archie Sunshine and the Mcguffin.

[@Keznen]

His name would've been better off spelled like that. Artemis is, and will always be, a girl's name.

[@marsmia4869]

@@Keznen thanks :)

[@Keznen]

@@marsmia4869 No problem. lol

[@Keznen]

@@Empika And why is that?

[@emc246]

We were mislead. We thought Disney said they were making a Fowl movie. What they meant was a *Foul* movie.

[@jessyjulie5506]

My favorite part of the books as a kid was that Artemis was a villain and antihero, that's the main reason its interesting. Cant believe they changed that.