Disney's Pinocchio Remake is INSULTINGLY BAD...

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[@Saberspark]

No seriously, I hated this movie so much

[@sh4rky466]

I feel so bad for you 💀💀

[@bananaman1391]

Early

[@arcanonn]

I don’t blame you, the tracking was awful. It looked like it was about to clip.

[@spatial_rind]

@Rick and Morty 🅥 go away

[@spatial_rind]

I can see why.

[@AkuTenshiiZero]

Y'know every time I look at a CGI character that is terribly inserted into live action, I think back to the backbreaking work that they did in _Who Framed Roger Rabbit_ to make sure that every interaction between the real and the animated was as believable as possible, using trick sets and animatronics to allow cartoon characters to carry and use real objects, painstakingly animating light and shadows to match reality... And then you have Tom Hanks awkwardly fumbling with an invisible puppet so they could paste a plastic-looking wooden boy into his hands.

[@eldorados_lost_searcher]

They even had Roger stand on his toes at one point when they saw that Bob Hoskins (who was great in the film) didn't have the right eye line. It's the part in when Roger says that RK Maroon might try to kill Eddie, and presses himself against a wall. Eddie says, "I can handle a Hollywood creampuff," and looks back at Roger.

[@AnimationNation2004]

The ONLY film I’ve seen that does the Roger Rabbit thing right in CG was strangely enough the Rocky and Bullwinkle movie from 2000

[@patrickcarter2829]

@@AnimationNation2004 what about the original Space Jam? Or Looney Tunes: Back in Action?

[@AnimationNation2004]

@@patrickcarter2829 well those were hand drawn but now that you mention Space Jam I guess I new legacy also would fit in this category as well.

[@megabyte1302]

And then they have the audacity to reference it in such a sell out film like they put any amount of effort into it/gave their animators the time to get it to that level

[@Frenchaboo]

Also: The tracking issues are especially so embarrassing because this is a story about a WOODEN PUPPET. You're telling me they can have actors interact with plushes or have real animals on set which are then animated over in other movies, but this movie couldn't have made a WOODEN PINOCCHIO for Hanks to hold and animate over it??

[@Jaden_K]

I didn't know they made bots that copied the actual KZbinrs with a fake checkmark lmao

[@daisanity6457]

NOT THE QUEEN, LMFAO

[@roogee4371]

@Emotional D Link to the clip of me caring:

[@cockatiellover265]

@@daisanity6457 ikr lmaooo😭😭

[@soraxstacy1477]

@@idontknowhowtochangemyusername Sickening? It's hilarious

[@Haminations]

I was just mad that they didn’t smoke fat blunts like they did in the original

[@Someonethefunnyone]

I guess Pinocchio wasn’t aloud to go to the gas station to by some 😔😔😔

[@staceyroberts1251]

Hi Haminations!

[@robo1513]

yo nice seeing you here 😄

[@Technilogica2019]

let 👏 Pinocchio 👏 say 👏 jackass

[@arturosandovalsaito2704]

I had the same reaction when I learned that Dumbo is not going to get drunk in the 2019 remake. And I didn't expect you to show up, Haminations.

[@DraphEnjoyer]

Character lacks any agency because he's not allowed to make any choices. The entire point of the original movie is that Pinocchio CHOOSES to be bad against Jiminy's warnings. In this movie things kind of just happen around him.

[@quentinparhiala9415]

Your right

[@TheDaniela3112]

To be quite honest the whole problem is that Disney is currently obsessed with being politically correct to the point it's breaking the company and ruining their movies because they cannot feature anything that isn't pristine and squeaky clean lest they run the risk of raising some eyebrows or offending one or two people.

[@mutantsandmemes]

@@TheDaniela3112 I agree. The approach they're taking to their movies is an approach guided by comments from Twitter moms and teens who spout random political bullshit at anything creative, making most companies feel the need to cower in fear and bend to the demands of Twitter.

[@englishatheart]

@@quentinparhiala9415 My right what? Finish your sentence.

[@dolly2415]

THIS! Pinocchio makes mistakes in the original. The whole section of Pleasure Island (without his conscience) is him rebelling and getting caught up in all the bad temptations. Something he then learns is wrong with the infamous "jackass" scene. In the remake he is a "golden child"

[@MelonTartVA]

I miss old Disney when they weren't afraid to show some scary stuff and made the happy ending feel more earned.

[@DragonGirl2000]

Me too :(

[@luiscancino5023]

When is disney gonna release the live action movie of the black cauldron?

[@AtomicVertigo_Comics]

@@luiscancino5023 after this film, i hope that never happens

[@kernsanders3973]

Even worst than that, actual mature movies and series they effing censor and edit out the mature stuff. Modern Disney is representing almost everything wrong with Corporations

[@JohnDoe-wq5eu]

@@AtomicVertigo_Comics Seriously, seeing how they completely bastardized the entire pleasure island segment damn. I didn't think it could get any worse from the other live action remakes but wow. Now I know why they dropped this turd directly onto Disney+.

[@Awesomemay]

i wonder when disney will be able to accept that their animated movies don't need to be remade

[@keziaburrows3554]

Ooooohooooooo they all KNOW they don't need to be remade, it's just for the big $$$$

[@chasesearle556]

Sadly, I don't think that's gonna happen any time soon. :( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Disney_live-action_adaptations_and_remakes_of_Disney_animated_films#Upcoming

[@Kyra-qn3nh]

They'll stop beating the dead horse when it stops spitting out money.

[@abrahamlupis9354]

When we finally stop supporting Disney

[@guotyr2502]

Can't say no to sheep ginving you millions for cheap trash

[@retroradkat]

When Maleficent first came out, I was excited. I thought the trend that Disney would take was going to be origin/backstory movies on all the villains, giving us new takes on classic Disney movies. Jafar. Ursula. Scar. Hook. THAT would have been somewhat justified and THAT would have made them plenty of money, if not more! I could not be more disappointed about where they've been taking these remakes over the years. A shame.

[@JMB_Knight]

That’s what I love about Maleficent it isn’t afraid to tell it’s own story and that’s okay in fact really creative!

[@qtfoxe]

oh my god yeah! maleficent is AMAZING and it's hardly even a remake. it tells its own story and it's just fantastic. i guess they tried to do the same with cruella but... no... she is literally just a villain. there's a world of difference between "i cursed a girl to sleep forever" and "I want a coat made out of dead puppies". EMBRACE the villain with cruella! show what MADE her so damn evil. but even cruella is better than this trash with Pinocchio..

[@blueberrypitbull87]

The Lion King was bad..All versions. I wish Disney had gotten the rights to Kimba the White Lion and made their own Kimba movie like they wanted to. Instead of making that terrible ripoff.

[@finezyjnafantazja2495]

Maleficient was great, Lion King 2 was also brilliant, Dalmatians remake and sequels were decent.

[@retroradkat]

@@blueberrypitbull87 I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong :)

[@aradraugfea6755]

It's a weird decision to give Pinocchio a real solid wood texture, have his eyes PAINTED ON, and then animate THOSE. Like... the old Pinocchio had eyelids. Ventriloquist dummies have eye lids. some particularly impressive marionettes have eye lids! GIVE PINOCCHIO EYELIDS.

[@Blurillaz]

They did it so they could just swap out textures instead of needing to rig anything for the eyes.

[@loganharris7801]

@@Blurillaz that’s so frickin lazy!

[@arianashurn6109]

@@Blurillaz And makes no sense cause they did it for that ballerina puppet 🙄

[@playlistenthusiast]

The toys in Toy Story 4 looks ten times more realistic than Pinocchio and that's not even live action.

[@harryshuman9637]

He looks like Jimmy Neutron

[@The1920sChannel]

Disney is playing the short-term game with these god-awful remakes and I hope to see these bad decisions bite them in the butt at some point

[@nine_tails137]

Same here. I stopped supporting Disney as a company long ago, because of this. Cause it's apparently too damn hard for them to put any effort into their movies anymore.

[@KingRandor82]

The one called "Jeffrey Epstein" already has that covered, as you'll find out soon....

[@IronycheinPain]

It happened to the dvd sequels

[@LazyPirate8]

Disney is a sinking ship right now. You might not know it, but there's a hole already in the bottom of the deck.

[@GourSmith]

@@LazyPirate8 You’re reaching extremely far 😂

[@DeEnDubleyoo]

There was a time when Disney was ridiculed for making "cheap-quels" to their hot movies. Are we entering the age of "live action cheap-makes"?

[@evilmagician430]

i think we've BEEN in that age for a little while now...

[@cartooncritique6625]

Entering? We've been in that age for a while now. :/

[@Torchflare]

As I understood it, a lot of the animated sequels were used as training grounds for new animator teams.

[@saphiriathebluedragonknight375]

@@Torchflare And some of them are quite good. Lion King 2 is my favorite Disney movie.

[@Whofan06]

We've been there for a while

[@TurkeyFaceX]

My biggest issue with this remake is they changed events related to the story in ways that ruin the overall message. Pinocchio in the original film is convinced to join the puppet show instead of going to school. This is why he faces the consequences of his actions. In this movie he actually makes it to school, defeating the purpose of the life lesson. When Pinocchio goes to Pleasure Island he indulges in smoking and even implies he was breaking things with an axe. He's then transformed into a donkey which was a metaphor for saying he was being a jackass. In contrast in this movie he refused to break anything, there weren't any cigars, and kids drinking root beer is hardly a problem. Once again this movie missed the true purpose of why the scene worked in the original. Being turned into a half donkey in this movie isn't justified. The whole point of the original film is that Pinocchio doesn't know right from wrong and he's easily lead astray. And when he makes the wrong choices there are consequences for his actions. These experiences are meant to build his character into an individual that learned from his mistakes and eventually chooses to do the right thing. But in this movie he's already trying to do the right thing all along. Sure, he's easily convinced to do the wrong thing a few times almost choosing not to go to school, but Jiminy catches up with him convincing Pinocchio to go to school before he could complete his bad decision. Then there's the time where he selflessly put Geppetto before the puppet show and his donkey ears and tail vanish. The problem with this scene is it has no meaning because he never really tried to do anything wrong in the first place. When the plot is about learning from your mistakes and then the movie doesn't allow you to make them in the first place, you have failed to make a faithful adaptation.

[@dylanmahaffey8920]

You nailed the problem with this movie perfectly.

[@kamikeserpentail3778]

I mean the old cartoon made it pretty clear, Jiminy was supposed to represent Pinocchio's conscience and sometimes he didn't listen.

[@VenathTehN3RD]

It feels like a recurring issue with a lot of Disney movies, remakes in particular, where they seem terrified of potentially making their protagonists anything other than 100% innocent and lovable characters. Like they're scared that if these characters sometimes make bad decisions, or even knowingly do something wrong, they'll have to face a Twitter mob of angry parents who can't comprehend that sometimes it helps teach children how NOT to do bad things by showing them characters who make bad choices, suffer consequences for their actions, and learn from their mistakes. Another thing that I think they screwed up is that they made sure all of the antagonists were punished for their actions. Most of the villains not really getting any comeuppance was kind of a big thing in the original movie. Pinocchio might have learned from his lessons, but the people out there who preyed upon and took advantage of misbehaving children were still very much at large and doing their thing. Not only did they miss the mark on the message by making Pinocchio make good decisions pretty much every time, but they also missed it by essentially saying that the consequences of bad choices will vanish and never cause you problems again as long as someone makes the right decisions.

[@AngelDreamStudiosOfficial]

True. a person can't learn from something that never happened. he can never become a real boy because he never truly lived. to truly live is to make mistakes and learn from them. which by them not correctly showing that he turned into a real boy and made it so subtle to the point of it being seen as not happening makes me believe he learned nothing. this new remake was so jarring and a disgrace to the Disney who made the original.

[@schlamuffenimperator9460]

Imagine this movie was partly founded by the tabacco industry and they didn't want cigars to be shown in a bad light in pleasure island - so they had to go. I wouldn't be suprised.

[@nikothecat4500]

It sucks that 3D animation is considered an “upgrade” to 2D and not as an equal

[@rodicamoraru3922]

True

[@LITTLE1994]

Yes

[@beauwalker9820]

Agreed, 2D isn't "outdated," (are classic 2D paintings "outdated" compared to 3D digital art?) there's some things 2D animation can do that 3D can't, and vice versa.

[@PrestoPuma]

the reason it is considered an "upgrade" is because 3d animators aren't unionized

[@PrestoPuma]

so they can then exploit them to their hearts content

[@MrTiesk]

The fact that he doesn't even touch on the terrible dialogue and the fact that they made CGI PUPPETS DURING THE REAL PUPPET SCENE is amazing

[@kaiclyre9227]

THEY WHAT

[@Friend2Fuzzies]

as soon as I heard tom hanks rhyme pinocchio with “holy smoke-io” in that one song i couldn’t take the movie seriously anymore

[@liamdude5722]

You look like you're made of pine. We can call you Chris Pine

[@christiansantamaria7233]

Wait your telling me they were too cheap to make a pratical wooden puppet so they just cgi it? Thanks thats all i needed to know im forsure not watching this movie even if it is free on disney im not gonna add a view to that garbage

[@englishatheart]

@@christiansantamaria7233 You're*

[@arcanonn]

I didn’t think they could screw up any harder than Mulan, but Disney seems to have a hard-on for outdoing themselves. Mulan’s still worse, but damn do I hate this film.

[@BeingShari]

Mulan 💀

[@animezilla4486]

I disagree with that this is nowhere near as bad as Mulan

[@Username_ladiesman217]

@yes I agree

[@xXPurpleLoliTranceXx]

Haha, yeah! It’s unfortunate

[@chadman9355]

@Sabersраrk 🅥 woooow nice try, bot

[@sophieamandaleitontoomey9343]

Remember that emotional scene with Monstruo where Gepetto almost drowns and despite him telling Pinocchio to leave him and save himself, Pinocchio comes back without hesitation and bravely pulls him to shore? That terrifying scene where he’s fighting the current, the rising waters, and the fucking whale trying to kill them and Pinocchio despite being completely terrified sacrifices his life to save his dad? Where Gepetto unconsciously begs Pinocchio to leave him and then Jiminy finds Pinocchio's dead body in the water? Upon directly after everyone mourns Pinocchio and the Blue Fairy rewards him for his bravery and sacrifice in saving his father? Well FUCK THAT says Disney and Robert Zemeckis. Let’s just cut out Pinocchio’s saving his father in a beautiful and courageous sacrifice and then being rewarded by being human like the scene is nothing important! Let's just remake the scene from tangled because it worked SO WELL there! I guess like the new Mulan Pinocchio just has super powers now. They completely missed the point yet AGAIN. This fucking movie has angered me more than Mulan. Everything about it is wrong on some level.

[@animatrix1490]

That whole action scene near the end where they're escaping Monstro is so intense. It's in the same movie as the donkey scenes and it still might be the most intense thing in that movie. Plus I think that's possibly the most gorgeous water animation I've ever seen.

[@r.j.penfold]

And they had Pinocchio pull a Rapunzel and cry on his dad back to life. UHG

[@sophieamandaleitontoomey9343]

@@animatrix1490 Water animation that they spent over a year trying to figure out how to make too. So much effort put in. Something this film has NOTHING of.

[@codyflake3080]

That’s pretty much another reason why this remake is getting so much hate. Not only does it go completely against the message of it’s source material, it also has one of the most dull yet laughably lame climaxes that I’ve ever seen. There’s that moment of suspense 3/4 in a movie that gets people on the edge of their seats. In a movie where the climax involves a puppet out swimming a sea monster by turning into a motorboat my only reaction is going to be either laughing at the absurdity or no reaction whatsoever. These corporate hacks need to let their writers and animators do THEIR JOBS. I’d sooner wait for a masterpiece(regardless of how long) than have a piece of crap rushed into theaters. There are people that work for Disney that have passion but unfortunately they have to take orders from the executives like everyone and not many people at the top care about being creative. If they did they would encourage their workers to take their time and they would have no need whatsoever of planting characters that we know will cause political controversy just so they can hide behind them.

[@ladylynx9891]

You know we're going through hard times when Disney can't make Disney movies

[@floral_hobi]

It's funny bc Disney actually goes to Pixar to ask for unique story ideas/development

[@JeffreyThrash]

@@floral_hobi Disney honestly probably wouldn't still be around if it weren't for that fateful merger with Pixar (as well as mergers with Marvel, Lucasfilm, ESPN, ABC, and the non-Rupert Murdoch-dominated sections of Fox, just to be safe). If you've ever wondered how Shrek and Shrek 2, solid movies but hardly the best of the best of Dreamworks, dominated so hard in the early 2000's, it's because a lot of Disney's movies around the same time were of DIRE quality in comparison, and the movies they made that were decent (imo, Lilo and Stitch, Treasure Planet and Emperor's New Groove) were so poorly advertised because their marketing department was somehow even worse. And that's only talking about the theatrical releases, their already-mediocre straight-to-video releases seemed to have taken a nose-dive in quality around this time, too, outside of the weird exception of Cinderella 3. Disney these days is like the Hollywood/animation equivalent of Facebook, they'd rather just buy out their competition instead of taking actual steps to improve the quality of their content, and it's shocking that they are not being investigated for their anti-competition behavior nearly as much as Facebook or Microsoft, if at all.

[@floral_hobi]

@@JeffreyThrash this right here is exactly it ! They would definitely be nothing without Pixar and their partner companies if they are practically having them do all the work. From idea, to concept, to story, and art. I totally forgot about the straight to VHS/DVD movies that were just awful. They felt so random and out of place 😭

[@JeffreyThrash]

@@floral_hobi At least the straight-to-video stuff was an attempt (a low-effort attempt, but an attempt nonetheless) to create original new stories within the universes of their most beloved '90's and '40's movies, as well as a reason to hang on to talented traditional 2D animators for just a little while longer. These remakes are nothing more than flexes demonstrating how they could deliberately make worse versions of their past successes and somehow make EVEN MORE MONEY than the originals, because they are just that unstoppable now.

[@Logan-zp8bi]

@@JeffreyThrash I wouldn't say unstoppable, nobody rules forever for Disney their death will come real soon. They've already been selling off some of the studios they bought in an effort to recoup losses. Not to mention they haven't had a major success in years so a majority of their shareholders will be dipping out soon. The only thing keeping them alive is Hulu and Disney+ but give it time people will be dropping subs soon. Not to mention a lot of their copyrights are due to expire soon and its highly unlikely with the growing hatred of copyright law they'll be able to get them extended. Doesn't help they basically lost the status as the family company with all the the anti-parent attacks like turning red.

[@jessicahutton5830]

The donkey transformation from the original Pinocchio hands down belongs on a top 10 most disturbing scenes in a Disney animation. A good chunk of that praise goes to the voice actor selling the moment, but being 2D also allows more control over all other aspects in a scene to accentuate the tone. The real horror of the situation flew over my head as a child, but as an adult, it makes my blood run cold.

[@whyme3772]

The Coachman was evil as hell.

[@darrenheideman2546]

The most horrifying part, Lampwick's last words as a human is him calling for his mother. Another detail, is he still calling for her, but all that comes out is the braying?

[@Mx_Phoenix]

Dude, that scene scarred me as a kid lol. Even now watching the tiny clip in Saber’s video made all that horror flood back.

[@amaravazquez8591]

That scene terrified and depressed me then and it still does. It's like that scene in 'American Werewolf in London' were you see the entire transformation.

[@darrenheideman2546]

@@Mx_Phoenix Same, even as an adult the scene is chilling.

[@marcello7781]

What I disliked the most was how they turned an already toned down Pinocchio into an almost flawless one. In the 1940 movie he wasn't the jerk he was in the original novel but at least he was naive enough to frequently end up in troubles.

[@ellarose7114]

he wasn’t that bad in the original novel tho. he gets really good character development and always learns from his mistakes. that’s my opinion at least, but there is a lot of good things he does in that novel that everyone ignores.

[@prasetyodwikuncorojati2434]

@@ellarose7114 thats true. I don't know why today Disney seems to forgetting the art of creating character and several times creating mary sues

[@Attmay]

@@prasetyodwikuncorojati2434 It started in 1964.

[@AkiraIsUseless]

@@ellarose7114 Glad I’m not the only one who notices that..I didn’t find Disney’s Pinocchio annoying, he was cute and okay but I think the original Pinocchio had good character development and is underrated. (and not just the character, but the book in general is underrated)

[@josephbrown9685]

The phrase “Disney’s _____ is insultingly bad” could be used for nearly everything they produce nowadays. Just insert the current, soulless piece of crap entertainment into that blank space. A blank space is an appropriate visual for modern Disney’s lack creativity and quality. This once great studio is now Disney in name only.

[@7Write4This9Heart7]

SO true! ;A;

[@danick00]

The fact that most of them are skiping the teathers and going straight to Disney+ just prove that they are this era equivalent of the straight to video movies.

[@idontexist1966]

Theaters? I'm sorry I thought you wrote teachers lmfao

[@daysand123]

@@idontexist1966 nah he wrote tethers. Because this shit is unbound chaos.

[@heyyy9318]

Honestly and I'm kind of glad it's like this so I don't get dragged into the theaters by my family to see some garbage movie not worth seeing.

[@EpicJoshua314]

The Little Mermaid and Snow White remakes will be released in theatres.

[@alexandersmith4731]

@@EpicJoshua314 Disney Princesses are a big brand by itself, Disney relies on them for insta money like MCU

[@ShendonV]

The best thing to do is just avoid Disney remakes in general, the more you give them money the more remakes they’re gonna pop out.

[@kingagrabowska9366]

I don't care what anybody says. All those remakes are bad on the principle of them being just cash grabs, meanwhile, the classics are timeless. That's why they're classics! I don't care about the new song! They only made it to get an award for an original song! I can listen to it on youtube without having to watch 2 hours of a story I already know but done way worse.

[@jacobtidwell8869]

Good luck telling the general public to avoid the remakes. You know a lot of people are gonna watch 'em anyway.

[@iamacat6448]

They already announced a lion king remake 2 about mufasa, snow white and peter pan, they just won’t stop and they really don’t seem to care what we think, I’m starting to lose all my respect for Disney ;-;

[@moldyshishkabob]

Best thing, in my opinion, is to avoid Disney. Everything they've been putting out lately is formulaic garbage. The most they do is drum up controversy.

[@Galaxxi]

Yeah don't even pirate them, I'm hearing more and more that these companies are starting to even take torrent numbers into account now People need to stop hatewatching Period or there will never be an end to these things 😭 I haven't seen a single disney live action remake and that's a point of pride for me

[@joshuaa7266]

I think the reason 3D animated stuff looks so much worse in movies like this is because we notice the contrast between IRL objects and animated ones. Other times seem to get tunnel vision on making things realistic to the point of sacrificing expressiveness and style.

[@ArxCyberwolfPC]

@im calling saul Go away, bot.

[@pyraffin]

The real reason is the poor overworked and underpaid VFX department people somehow crunching these movies out under Disney's iron fist. You can feel the stress from the crunch time in every frame, the shakiness and unsteadiness and nearly ametrue look. It's made of blood, sweat, and tears and _NOT_ in the good way. It's painful to watch knowing the pain that goes into these dumpsterfire late stage capitalism cashgrabs.

[@conserva-chan2735]

@im calling saul this is probably the best bot I've seen in a while lol

[@JeffreyThrash]

@@pyraffin Marvel got outed recently as being one of the most offensively-bad workplaces for VFX employees by former employees and Cartoon Brew. And of course MPC is the one that has long set the standard for abusing all VFX employees and a studio that Disney and Hollywood in general frequently rely on despite (or possibly even because of...?) their increasingly-public reputation as slave-drivers. I am very inclined to believe you.

[@joshuaa7266]

@@pyraffin That too, but I would say the two work together. The VFX people could make some really awesome stuff if they used an easier but still better-looking style for their animated parts, but they likely don't have the authority to make that decision. In addition, on a time crunch they may not have enough time to redo work when they realize things aren't working.

[@Tadicuslegion78]

Also the fact the 1940 Pinocchio might be one of the scariest and Darkest Disney films...EVER. I'm an adult, Pleasure Island still makes my skin crawl.

[@thepittstop]

what about The Black Cauldron?

[@7Write4This9Heart7]

SAME! I got chills watching that part of the review! Hahaha!

[@RobKaiser_SQuest]

They dropped so much "controversial" or "scary" material that was relevant to the lessons to be learned from the story, then made Pinocchio's CGI even scarier and more controversial

[@benchattin]

One of my favorite "play it safe" changes was one of the clocks depicting a mother spanking a child in the original film was changed to a police officer stopping the mother from spanking. I hate modern Disney.

[@JeffreyThrash]

@@benchattin I've always seen Disney as obnoxiously-tame compared to the Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network shows I used to watch at the time (Bugs Bunny > Mickey Mouse, imo), and especially after growing old enough to watch anime, but that sounds ridiculous even by Disney standards. I wouldn't be surprised if depicting that police officer in a positive light was supposed to be some subtle (and vain) attempt to reassure the "anti-woke" crowd. Like they're saying "hey, maybe making the Blue Fairy a bald black woman and overall toning down everything from the 1940 animated movie is admittedly pandering to the left, but we pander to the right sometimes, too! Blue Lives Matter, see? Wait, where are you going?! Come back and give us your money! Wait, why are all the California liberals leaving, too?! What happened to our vast majority of fans who just watch our stuff as an escape from politics in general? Hello...?"

[@JeffreyThrash]

@Lex Bright Raven Yeah, as someone who tends to skew left myself, I'm not fooled in the least by Disney's attempts at "representation," especially when they are also quick to throw those same gay actors and/or black actors under the bus once they inevitably get complaints from the right and especially China--the woman who played one of the Sith Lords or whatever in the Obi-Wan show is perhaps the latest victim of Disney's moral hypocrisy, plus practically every recent Disney Channel series like The Owl House and the DuckTales reboot that skew towards older tweens/teens and are too genuinely "progressive" for Disney as a result (even if that's exactly why they're popular, but sadly Disney decides to listen specifically to the haters who have no interest in actually watching these shows over the actual target demographic). Nonetheless, I've spent enough time with guys who give off serious "incel/sigma male" energy to know that the right does see the mere act of hiring gay actors, writing black characters, or even writing non-submissive female characters as "leftist" these days. Unfortunately, rather than recognize that these people are an oversensitive "vocal minority" who would probably not be interested in a notoriously-tame company like Disney and ignore them--or better yet, draw attention to the hypocrisy of the "anti-woke" crowd constantly getting triggered these days at seeing fictional characters that don't look or think exactly like them--companies seem to be taking from modern CNN's playbook and bending over backwards in the vain hopes of re-gaining extremists who really can't handle even the most minor societal shifts from the last 50 years. Thus we occasionally get stuff that actually panders to the right like portraying the police as "always good."

[@cubechan1938]

@our hero What, a good Pinocchio remake?

[@ruudvanderzanden8013]

@our hero what, your mom?

[@Kantripz]

You know Disney is collapsing when "FaThEr WhEn CaN i LeAvE tO bE oN mY OW~n I've got da hole worldussy~😩😘🙄💋💅🏼!" has more personality than Disney's entire remake.

[@hyzenthlayrose2176]

At least that Pinocchio movie's fun to laugh at instead of rage-inducing like this crap

[@emersyn444]

“worldussy~” 😭😭😭💀

[@calamaribowl8683]

Yo bro let's go get some WORLDUSSY

[@Kantripz]

@@calamaribowl8683 bet.

[@dysn3961]

I cringed at them just throwing in modern references like “influencer” randomly in there, but the weirdest thing is that they hd the perfect opportunity to start from scratch and do something interesting. They could’ve driven in the message about the damage tiktok/youtube culture has on young kids in the same way that “theatre” showmanship was in the 40s, or done a more coherent plot rather than sticking adamantly to the original that was trying to make a film out of a loose storybook

[@stevethepocket]

I was going to say Papa Disney wouldn't approve of that lest it be interpreted as a commentary on how they've mistreated their own child actors... but then I remembered that they literally already made a movie that did that with _Bolt._ Do yeah, no excuse really.

[@brianapereira2694]

@@stevethepocket As much as Walt was a capitalist and anti-union, he was way more a creator. It was more important to him that he made good art. Like Fantasia. He wanted to experiment with making "high art" more accessible to people. At the time, Fantasia was a flop commercially, but it's been an inspiration for many. That's the kind of thing Walt would have wanted, not lazy cash grabs. He'd hate these "remakes."

[@AtillaTheFun1337]

It really is a form of historical revisionism when all these old era videos are remade with modern era references/values

[@DrawciaGleam02]

If they're gonna say influencer, why don't they actually show what that job might be like in that time period????

[@LSB44446]

No more lessons, just money and "You are racist"

[@mmmMMMmmm349]

I hope Del Toro's Pinocchio will be more similar to the original book, at least keeping more dark aspects. In the book Pinocchio is way more of a rebel, literally killing his own conscience. The fox and the cat are way more evil, even hanging Pinocchio at one point to steal his money. The Coachman could be literally any adult that uses kids for their own profit, and the scary thing is that at first he's portraited as a very nice person to children. These are just a few things that I remember, but there's way more. If you want to read a truly dark story for kids than this is your book.

[@manuelacuna4188]

Heya! You've been cryogenized for almost 3 months and Del Toro's Pinocchio has came out already. Everyone says it massively better than this one. How do you feel about this? 🎤

[@shamanite]

The way you talked about the pleasure island scene really made me realize something: before, puritanism was about moral tales and telling children that this stuff was bad. Now puritanism is not even acknowledging the thing exists. It has become a taboo.

[@davidhong1934]

True faith is acknowledging that the world is sinful and living as close as possible to one's ideals Cowardice is hiding among like-minded peers and never challenging onself

[@GazingTrandoshan]

Christians be what christians do , they consolidate power and thus things they deem demonic or unfaithful gets removed

[@alexarchivechannel6673]

@@davidhong1934 facts

[@Ratty524]

Bruh it’s not there because it would get Disney into legal trouble that didn’t apply when the original film was made. Not that deep.

[@vonniebunny8049]

@@Ratty524 I'm not sure that's accurate... Pinnochio came out in 1940 right in the middle of the Hays code, some of the most puritanical and strict movie censorship laws that have ever existed. it was considered okay as long as characters were punished for their actions. On the other side I don't think there are any laws currently prohibiting showing minors smoking in modern films as long as the content is appropriately age restricted. I've seen some modern netflix films/tv shows with minors smoking, I believe leon 1994 has the main actress smoking. (Though I could be misremembering) Most likely they just axed it to avoid a higher age rating to get the widest audience possible.

[@glorkbork776]

The Coachmaster's "business plan" in the original was an allegory for getting "Shanghai'd", where young idiots would be invited to parties in port towns with booze and opium, then when they black out, waking up on a ship and given a choice of working aboard the ship, essentially as a slave to repay the cost of the partying, or be thrown overboard.

[@codebracker]

Also game theory channel calculated it and apparently it would be a MASSIVE profit, cause donkeys were just that expensive in that age.

[@Good100]

Not to mention he's implied to basically be demonic, what with the devil horn hair and the fact that he turns kids into donkeys by their engagement in hedonism.

[@jc1979af]

And you get a lifetime of work out of the donkey. It's ambiguous if the kids turned into donkeys would still have human lifespans or donkeys, however

[@wildfire9280]

Seems more like child trafficking.

[@glorkbork776]

@@wildfire9280 That's a more blunt analog, but all of Pinocchio's adventures have a moral for him, in this case "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is" and the literal punishment of being forced to pay for one night of "making a jackass out of himself" with a lifetime of servitude.

[@blake2521]

Pinnochio turned from a flawed protagonist to a flawless beam and that’s the movies problem

[@animezilla4486]

Well at least he's likable

[@shenloken2]

It rendered Jiminy Cricket completely useless: For no reason.

[@Waterdrinker2.0]

And gepetto voice is okay at least

[@sammettik]

@Sabersраrk 🅥 Piss off, faker. And take your other spam accounts with you.

[@austinreed7343]

I'd love to see him as nasty as the book version.

[@benthecat4345]

They really should've used an actual puppet prop for the scenes in which Pinocchio is being handled by someone and the scenes where he's not alive because it's blatantly obvious he was a CGI model the entire time

[@AvaR-2009]

They literally should

[@materiagrezza9331]

I mean damn! All Pinocchio adaptations that showed Pinocchio in its inanimate state all used props and practical effects, and all of them didn't even have 1/10 of the budget of this shitty version with fake everything, there is simply no excuse.

[@capncake8837]

They even made CGI root beers and had CGI kids at one point on the coach,

[@johnnysparkle]

@materiagrezza9331 Unless your the Bob Hoskins version which made Pinocchio a real boy from the start

[@ninarances9074]

That's the thing! It's a lot easier and more believable, so I don't get why CGI was needed for the scenes where Pinocchio isn't moving on his own. As for the CGI beer mugs that the kids from Pleasure Island have, first thing that comes to my mind was it's better to give them mugs of apple juice or soda inside and add some cream in it, rather than CGI the thing. Idk how that'll taste, though.

[@funnyhappystudios]

I didn’t know Coke and Pepsi were bad… But in all seriousness, children are fully aware of alcohol, and some families even tell their kids about it early so they can avoid it. The CGI in this may look great, but that’s their disguise so they can keep making these soulless traps. Edit: Also, they had Lampwick say the word “jackass” in this movie. So… Are you gonna add inappropriate stuff for moral reasons or not, Disney?

[@LendriMujina]

Probably stuck it in there just to avoid being rated G. Studios are *terrified* of their films being rated G for some reason. More NC-17 films come out than G films in recent years.

[@somethingwithbungalows]

@@LendriMujina wait why tho

[@LendriMujina]

@@somethingwithbungalows There's this fallacious view people have that something suitable for kids is *only* suitable for kids. Bumping the rating up means teens and adults are less likely to be turned away.

[@Zistheone2]

@@joshroehl6098 I think they kept Lampwick’s jacksss line because he was using it in the literal sense, whereas the other times it was mentioned in the original were used in the figurative sense

[@gwest3644]

@@LendriMujina I have noticed that hardly any G movies get released anymore

[@brokendreamsbrokenheart5601]

My biggest issue with this movie is that it's message is completely contradictory to the original Disney masterpiece that the film constantly insists on being compared to. The entire point of the 1940 classic is that WE AREN'T perfect just the way we are. Nobody is. Not a single person on this entire planet. Yet, throughout our fleeting, mortal lives, we still continue to look up and aspire to become more...to be better...to achieve the dreams of the highest personal good we can possibly be. Really powerful stuff...there's a reason why it's regarded as one of the greatest films ever made. This movie represents none of that. It wants to wear the prestige of the original like a coat, yet complete defy the original's entire reason for being. Pinocchio is never at fault for anything in this remake. Everything happens TO him, not BECAUSE of him. He's established as helpless and blameless in every situation. He never does anything bad. And even when his actions are relatively questionable, the movie reassures us that it's okay and not a personal flaw at all...Even his lies are portrayed as a positive self attribute; getting him out of trouble in a moment of peril...It follows in the shallow footsteps of other recent Disney films like the live-action Mulan movie and Captian Marvel. The film doesn't understand that stories aren't relatable if the protagonist has become/is born righteous beyond his or her own need for personal growth...

[@chadschmaltz9790]

Disney has completely forgotten how to do The Hero's Journey or any form of character arch when telling a story. They place the protagonist from the end of the story, who has overcome obstacles and changed as a person, at the beginning. So any potential obstacle is easily overcome. The audience is not able to relate to such characters nor become invested in their story.

[@darkcylander]

you sure thats what they were saying? I mean, the song literally says "anything your heart desires will come to you". he literally wishes on a star for his puppet to be a real boy and it does.

[@TaccRaccoon]

@our hero kzbin.info/www/bejne/moLaZapvjMyLmbM this is better

[@skyhighlander6447]

Same thing with the message in Aladdin, they completely got that backward too, it hurt to watch.

[@seanmyster6]

I'm sure some people are gonna give me flak for saying this, but one of my biggest criticisms of the modern "Social Justice" movement is how heavily it encourages this exact "I'm perfect the way I am, and everything bad in my life is always someone else's fault" mindset that you described here.

[@Jawaddles]

It bugs me most of all that Pinocchio is pretty much opposed to pleasure island the whole time. The original he really indulged. It was in an awkward following other's way, but he still indulged.

[@PeruvianPotato]

Jesus Christ why are there so much bots recently

[@Lkymn]

Damn, the bots have Queen Elizabeth now 💀💀💀

[@Zistheone2]

*THIS!* I didn’t mind the changes they made to Pleasure Island’s activities too much, but it doesn’t make sense that Pinocchio transformed at all because he barely indulged in any of the activities aside from playing pool and drinking a single sip of root beer. It’s also contradictory since the remake changed Pleausre Island to a story about not giving into peer pressure, so it would’ve made more sense for Pinocchio to indulge in the fun since he was pressured by Lampwick, the Coachman, & all the other kids.

[@Ability-King-KK]

@@PeruvianPotato There's so many bots because KZbin can't (read: won't) do it's job.

[@gwest3644]

Why are people liking these bot comments? Are they making other bots to like them?

[@jasper.quartz1325]

The thing is by the end he DOES actually turn into a real boy, it was that bad that nobody could notice it unless u look at how slowly the more into the dark he goes the human skin appears and the the bendy parts of wood disappear, it looked disgusting 🤢

[@bort6459]

It's the perfect movie to highlight the issues with the Disney remake retcons. Pinocchio is a defining property for the Disney brand. It's few people's favorite, but is still a key piece of many people's nostalgia. It's iconic moment after iconic moment and for all it's flaws as a movie, it succeeds as a property in so many people's collective memory. And it's a property Disney would never have tried today. It's road trip story with no one villain, drinking, smoking, child slavery and illogical plot development. It takes itself seriously every step of the way with little bathos between some very dark themes and it just doesn't have any of the story beats that Disney requires from an IP. It's Disney's own anti-disney film and shows how the biggest problem with Disney today is it's refusal to believe in its own stories. Disney is so risk averse, so tongue in cheek about itself and so self important that Pinocchio, a company defining property, just doesn't work as a Disney IP today.

[@segar7232]

It’s my favorite

[@MorningMeasure]

Jiminy Cricket was even one of the main Disney mascots for a while!

[@TheLazyFusspot_3428]

Pinocchio is arguably the most natural and realistic film imo, besides The Lion King

[@WeebishSwed]

I think Pinocchio was a bit of a failure at the time it was made? Though a large success now due to re-releases and such.

[@rodicamoraru3922]

@@WeebishSwed it had a buget of 2.6million and made back at the time 1.8 milion possibly because the european market shuted down

[@queenofawesome2550]

The donkey scene in the original still terrifies me to this day and I don't even scare easily. Easily one of the most horrifying scenes in children's animation history. And out of morbid curiosity I had to look up the scene from this version and.. Man did they miss the mark. To the point I decided to pass up even watching this version of the movie. The original was meant to frighten children into behaving themselves and the message was well portrayed and it stuck with many as a result. "Don't act like a jackass or you'll turn into one." As you said that scene is iconic and traumatized many of us. And if they couldn't even get that big scene right then why bother with the rest of it?

[@borrisg4972]

"You'll return home... as MEN"

[@JasonGravewalker]

The Adventures of Pinocchio from 1996 managed to make that scene look even freakier with it's dated cgi

[@markop.1994]

Im like 99% sure donkey from shrek was one of those kids

[@dragongirl2319]

Fun fact: While Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is widely considered to be the first fully animated movie, that's actually not the case. Snow White was released in 1937, whereas an animated German film by the name of "The Adventures of Prince Achmed" was released in 1926 (later 1931 in the US). But unfortunately, due to the Magic Kingdom, no one remembers Achmed. There were also apparently at least 2 animated films from Argentina that were released before Snow White, but they've unfortunately been lost to time.

[@cenitatillery7558]

Yeah the Argentinian one was called el alpostal. To me it's sad that such an important piece of animation has been lost and is very unlikely to be ever seen again.

[@iamsunny15]

Prince Achmed the tiger fucker will ALWAYS be remembered

[@wymarsane7305]

Oh yeah, he was that guy who fucked a tiger, right?

[@RobotScarlet]

Directed, written and animated by Lotte Reiniger. Saw it in college and it was amazing what she could do.

[@RodentSpawn]

Hey was about to mention this neat to see someone else knew

[@Mattyboy-dn4oo]

I actually watched the original for the first time yesterday and I agree, it is such a beautiful film. It surprisingly has some dark moments for a kids movie, but it has so much heart to it. It’s about a naive young boy learning to be good with help from his friend and conscience. Also the use of music in this film to describe certain plot points is amazing! The story is a little jumbled, but this is definitely up on the list of my favorite classic Disney films

[@HolyApplebutter]

That was back when PG actually meant something.

[@kamikeserpentail3778]

Disney was always slightly dark, though not as dark as the tales they based their stories on.

[@TheGuzeinbuick]

The original film legit gives me anxiety. The whole middle act just has this constant dread of knowing Pinocchio is hanging around a bad crowd he shouldn't be hanging around with. This is going to sound pretentious but I think it plays into a fear all of us have felt at some point growing up-- the first time we stayed up past our bedtime, the first time we stayed out after dark, and especially: the first time we hung out with some bad kids our parents wouldn't want us hanging out with. Stranger danger. Kids smoking and drinking. Stuff that just sets off our deep-seated alarm bells from what our parents told us growing up. The anxious tension builds for so long it's almost a relief when the other shoe drops and Pinocchio finally faces the consequences of his actions: getting kidnapped the first time and almost turning into a donkey the second.

[@alyssabullock6421]

And the fact the Little Mermaid trailer came out SO soon after this is Not reassuring. I swear Disney is just pumping these out now because they can. I can't believe they thought making this was ok 😔

[@kingagrabowska9366]

I don't care what anybody says. All those remakes are bad on the principle of them being just cash grabs, meanwhile, the classics are timeless. That's why they're classics! I don't care about the new song! They only made it to get an award for an original song! I can listen to it on youtube without having to watch 2 hours of a story I already know but done way worse.

[@IAmAriqueAlt]

There’s been somewhat of a “conspiracy” going around that Disney is only making these remakes in order to avoid the original movies going into public domain. Which makes sense, but at the same time it’s extremely scummy.

[@animezilla4486]

Well I don't have an issue with the Little mermaid I want to wait until I do see the final movie before I make my final judgment

[@GrafVonTirol]

I just love the meme reactions in the comments where they have Ariel or any other character quote lines or reenact scenes from different movies.

[@Pikachu_Snivy_57]

@@GrafVonTirol me too

[@hyper6500]

The first thing I noticed just watching the trailer, is how deep into the Uncanny Valley it goes. Might as well be the Uncanny Marianas Trench, it was that offputting.

[@mago_malvado96]

@Queen Elizabeth 🅥 No one cares, "Impostor".

[@Venom_snake417]

These bots are cancerous

[@JayKordichlover]

@Skroncher why top gun?

[@blueberry_pancakes1618]

Omg why are there so many bots!? They're flooding the whole fricking comment section!! 💀💀

[@kyoyameganebereznoff]

They’ve done the weird Disney inspired theme park thing before. In the Dumbo remake, the evil corporate theme park/circus felt very Disney, too, which is so weird considering it’s meant to symbolize a heartless corporation. I’m not saying it’s in accurate, just that it’s strange that Disney would ever design the “evil, bad” theme park after their own.

[@MsZsc]

prob tone deaf as heck

[@JustAnArrogantAlien]

Disney is just admitting to what they are. They’ve become one of the most evil companies on earth. Never forget what they pulled with _Mulan 2020._

[@tonoornottono]

disney is not capable of recognizing its own evil. it doesn’t recognize that the evil theme park is based off of disney. i’m not saying the people there don’t get it, but the company is forced through the power of capitalism to never recognize its own flaws or hubris.

[@fernandozavaletabustos205]

A reminder that Guillermo del Toro is making their own version of Pinocchio, and that one looks a lot more promising!

[@embroideredragdoll]

And the Mary Poppins movie

[@fntthesmth423]

I like to imagine that after the movie, Pinocchio every time he sees donkeys for sale, he kinda talks to them and tries to see if they are humans or not. i've had that in mind for ten years and apparently this film's greatest positive contribution to my life is reminding me of that

[@morgana6435]

I agree with everything Saber said but I'd like to make two notes: - the og movie probably felt like a series of scenes glued together because the og novel was published episodically in a magazine! - as an Italian I can concur that light in Italy IS like that. You can't keep your eyes open (of course it depends what area you're in, I have no idea where Pinocchio is supposed to take place) Also I'm probably remembering wrong but I think in the original book the Blue Fairy shape shifts into different forms to help Pino? So maybe that's why they added new characters? 🤔 either way this movie is useless and I hope they lost money doing it-

[@elfiefromangelcity6142]

I know that there's places in California that are blindingly bright, so looking at these scenes doesn't bother me. I've heard our weather is sometimes comparable to the Mediterranean. So I was wondering about that. Thanks for the confirmation.

[@brianapereira2694]

@@elfiefromangelcity6142 In my city, the college arboretum has a section where there's Mediterranean plants, cuz our climate is so similar to theirs.

[@garnetavi]

I don't even think it has to be similar weather to Italy. I've lived in Florida and Texas and it definitely gets that bright on very sunny days. I was a bit confused about Saber's criticism because it just looks like intense sunlight to me.

[@dooplon5083]

@@garnetavi I'm in Texas and taking my dogs out to the backyard to pee or what have you is sometimes painful on the eyes because the floor of our porch is concrete and it reflects a searing white light at your eyes at the wrong times of day lol.

[@beautyindarkness8146]

That's a good theory about the blue fairy, I choose to believe it.

[@blobbertmcblob4888]

Can we talk about them giving Geppeto a *dead wife and son* in this movie? making his motivations for wanting Pinocchio to be a "real boi" just that much creepier to me, for some reason. The scene where he's walking around with Pinocchio just creeped me out, man. Like a damn horror movie.

[@SasquaDash]

Interestingly, based on the trailers, Guillermo Del Toro's version seems to be going with that idea as well. Let's hope it works better in that version.

[@loke6664]

Bah, Disney would have killed off Geppeto too if they could. Parents and mentors in Disney movies rarely lives long....

[@ArmundJay]

pretty sure that was in the original story? not the disney one but like... the real story.

[@partygamingz3332]

@@SasquaDash from what iv heard of his works is that his trailers seem lighthearted but his movies are way darker. And considering he's basing his movie of the already dark original book, his story is prob a darker retelling of pinocchio which makes sense

[@MB-qx9vn]

It’s kinda similar to “Astro Boy.” The main character is created as a robot after the father’s real son is killed in car accident.

[@thebigidea9659]

Disney's obsession with attempting to recapture the magic of their animated movies is hilarious.

[@TheLastHylianTitan]

Right? I mean…isn’t the whole point of your brand that your animation and art are irreplaceable and completely totally Unique? Why the fuck then are you trying so hard to replace it?! The mind boggles. I don’t understand. It’s so clear that a businessman is running Disney and not an artist. Disney should belong to an artist, because at least then this megalith of a corporation could make some good and not….this.

[@colmlooney5843]

You actin like they tryna recapture the magic, fool, they tryna recapture yo wallet

[@colmlooney5843]

@@TheLastHylianTitan id argue a businessman isnt making these either, because a businessman would recognise the brand damage these "remakes" are doing

[@Ability-King-KK]

Attempting nothing. The only reason these live-action remakes exist is because Iger HATED the original versions, calling them embarrassments.

[@primrosett]

Yeah, no, they're not trying to recapture the magic, they're just trying to cash-grab. It's pure laziness.

[@Muninnfeathers]

My great uncle worked on the original animated feature, he was responsible for the scenes with the evil coachmen who takes the boys to pleasure island... he would be appalled by this monstrosity. I know I am. Good review Saber. Love your work.

[@stefanalexanderlungu1503]

What did he do?

[@NoahTheAmbitious]

SO IT WAS YOUR GREAT UNCLE WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEVIL FACE!!!! I'm So Angry Now That I Know Who Animated The Coachman.

[@InkGraffiti]

remembering that each and every cel of animation in those old films was painted BY HAND is astounding. Watch Snow White, specifically the clean up song, and watch the water tub that they're cleaning themselves in. Like, the attention to detail in the water reflections is mind blowing. I don't know why they feel the need to take the heart out of these old films by reanimating them in a new way that is arguably far lazier. Yes, disney animators are STILL amazing at what they do and they are still groundbreaking with a lot of what they put out.. but not in these remakes which are wholly unnecessary Also:: the pinocchio animated movie was a bit of a hodge podge yes, but I've read the book, and to be fair.. thats very loyal to the book LOL its literally random event after random event with very little tying it together

[@karolinakuc4783]

Still Soviet Snow White was better

[@JosephCoxH]

they feel the need to remake them to both hold onto the IP and make money while doing as little as possible. Live action is also cheaper than animation even with all that CGI.

[@KingOfGaymes]

That’s why I miss hand drawn animation a lot.. It could be so much better today too with the technology at our hands. I mean some of the hand drawn animated films that have come out of Japan recently are proof, they look astounding.. I really wish Disney wouldn’t be afraid to go back to hand drawn animation for full length movies again.. it’s all 3D or live action now and it’s getting kinda tiresome..

[@Sea-Salt]

@@JosephCoxH Seeing as how a lot of the remakes have been based on the 90s movies, this was never about holding onto copyrights, which last much longer. This is Disney trying to milk nostalgia, no more and no less.

[@materiagrezza9331]

The string that ties every event in the book is that Pinocchio learns his lesson from something he thinks it's right or he can get away with it, only to pay the consequences, and then carry on to another event where he makes another choice, and so on, until he develops his own sense of morality.

[@ilovenightcrawler]

Just you showing a picture of the Coach Master gave me chills. Pleasure Island was such a terrifying segment of the story. I will never forget the screams of the kid who got turned into a donkey. The animation in that scene was amazing too, with the use of shadows to show the transformation. Even if Disney was trying really hard when they made this new movie, there’s no way they could top that masterpiece. EDIT: I wrote this as soon as I saw the Coach Master, but I just watched the rest of the video, and you made the exact same points that I did. So I feel special knowing that we had the same thought process 😆

[@invaderhorizongreen8168]

in the book he bites off the ears of one of the kid donkeys, who is pulling one of the carriages. For warning them away in the first place.

[@unityedits3722]

Granted, I was smoking a late night blunt lol but I thought the new transformation scene was just as unsettling as it should have been

[@Epic_C]

Well Disney employees are literally Coach Masters now, so there is that. 😂

[@ilovenightcrawler]

@@invaderhorizongreen8168 oh my god 😨

[@goingunder2548]

‘No way they could top this masterpiece’ That’s my main problem with these remakes- isn’t the point of a remake to improve on the original? Take a movie that obviously wanted to be more but didn’t quite live up to the director’s vision for various reasons. The 1941 movie didn’t need to be improved at all. Despite being released 81 years ago it’s barely aged, because 2d doesn’t age like 3d does. If Disney wanted to improve upon the original by just making it cgi and calling it a day, they would remake their earlier cgi movies that have aged poorly because the cgi is distracting. Can you imagine a remake of the first Toy Story, Dinosaur (2000) or a Bugs Life with The Good Dinosaur’s level of CGI? But they won’t do that, they insist on remaking 2d films because of the bullshit narrative that 3d is inherently superior to 2d

[@Leron...]

I understand that when Saber agreed to the Helix sleep sponsorship, he recorded a bunch of footage during the receiving/unboxing/setup process so that he can splice them together in various sequences during the sponsored segments of future videos, but I also like to imagine that every time they sponsor him they send him a new one and he has to record himself acting excited all over again every time while having a side room full of mattresses

[@PhoenixRoseYT]

I love this

[@kennymartin5976]

Saber just having a "princess and the pea" stack of Heilex mattresses is the funniest image! 🤣

[@a-b0t633]

I thought he was. I could have sworn he opened the mattresses in different rooms because there's no way you could seal it again yourself.

[@Edscratch23469]

You just made this sponsorship 10 times funnier for me, I will never be able to watch these ads again without laughing my ass off! XD

[@1WEareBUFO1]

He's addicted

[@nateds7326]

The best thing about these live action remakes is that they make us look back on all these classic animated movies and see why they all work so well.

[@PKMN37]

It's sad how Disney took a wonderful animated classic like Pinocchio and turned it into another piece of corporate cynicism.

[@Howlingburd19]

They’ve basically turned all of the animated classics into pieces of corporate cynicism (except The Jungle Book, because that was actually pretty good) For example, I watched Beauty and the Beast (1991) a couple days ago; there’s lots of moments that are exciting for kids like the humor, the music, and the bright visuals. But there’s also a lot of features in that movie that you can truly appreciate and enjoy as an adult like the story, humor, the deep internal struggle of the the Beast, and how his relationship with Belle builds up. Bottom line, it’s a masterpiece, and it literally got an Oscar nomination for Best Picture! But then there’s the live action one; it’s just such a downgrade. All of that soul and energy is ripped away, it feels more monotone, some of the characters look stupid (especially the Beast’s servants, and the Beast doesn’t even look like a monster, he looks like a generic hairy man lol), and the inner conflicts aren’t presented as well. It’s so mediocre to the point where it’s painful…

[@quentinparhiala9415]

Yes it is sad I agree

[@bgoodfella7413]

What do you mean by corporate cynicism? That's an interesting term.

[@leXie1337_chan]

I think the most uncanny thing about this new Pinocchio is his painted-on eyes. In 2D, you could get away with paint magically becoming eyes, but in 3D they're dead and soulless and horrifying.

[@PyckledNyk]

He looks like a Sonichu with his eyes like that

[@registeredpyromaniac]

@@PyckledNyk Pinocchio is about to zap to the extreme!

[@Blotzwave]

I'm just so confused as how you can mess up a story that you've not only already done, but also exists as a book you can just read and put into a movie. It's like failing an open book test.

[@lethalslaughterband5498]

Dude GOJIRA woooo!

[@JohnDoe-wq5eu]

Probably because current Disney is so crappy and creatively bankrupt they can't even take something they've already made good. It came from an era when Disney was force to be reckoned with not a farce to be laughed at.

[@Blotzwave]

@@lethalslaughterband5498 Oh HELL yeah, Gojira all the way.

[@lethalslaughterband5498]

@@Blotzwave nice

[@ablosch2452]

Also worth mentioning is how they have less of Pinnochio’s trait of being mischievous and lacking morale at the beginning. Like at first he actually finds Honest John sketchy, but goes with him because when he goes to school, they deny him entry because they don’t allow living puppets. So it’s like he had less of a choice, instead of was tricked by Honest John.

[@sirmrmcjack2167]

I love how Disney seemingly put more effort in the furred side characters than pinocchio

[@McNaBir]

It's easier to hide animation flaws when the model is covered in fur. But they most likely had a different team working on Pinocchio's model than the furred characters, which is why there's a massive disconnect of styles

[@sirmrmcjack2167]

@@McNaBir combine that with Disney's experience in fur animation over the last couple of years and you have a big gap. Still sad the overall end product was and though :/

[@McNaBir]

@@sirmrmcjack2167 seriously. You'd think they'd also take pointers from Pixar and actually make decent water physics too. All of the water in the movie legitimately looks like lube 😭🙏

[@sirmrmcjack2167]

@@McNaBir eww, reminds of that thick water for people with swallowing problems. I kid you not, that's an actual thing. I tried it once and not only does it taste awful, it also is almost chewable. It's thick enough that you can't drink it normally but also liquid enough that it's just about not chewable

[@InkGraffiti]

@@sirmrmcjack2167 Never heard of that stuff and while it sounds disgusting to us that sounds amazing for the people it is intended for, science is bloody amazing nowadays!

[@jfess1911]

Ironically, a lot of the scenes like the boy transforming into a donkey that makes the earlier animated movie so good, frightened me so much as a child that I had no desire to watch it again. After this and other reviews of the new "live action" version, I realize that the reason that the older movie had such an effect on me was its artistry. I was absorbed into its world to the point where I was genuinely worried for the characters. I need to watch it again. FWIW, becoming a Dad and raising children has changed the way I think about movies. Although it seems silly, for movies like Pinocchio and Little Mermaid, my first thought is "SEE, you should have listened to your Dad!" I know it's silly, but it is true.

[@InkGraffiti]

Lol not a parent but yeah some of those movies hit different if you're not the age demographic intended to be watching it. Like Little Mermaid is literally "Child throws a temper tantrum and ends up getting what she wants because of it and almost kills her dad in the process" .. so is the movie "Brave", except its mom rather than dad. Still good movies with great music and beautiful animation but, the stories are very ehhhh if youre not a teenager LOL

[@DrawciaGleam02]

@@InkGraffiti Brave wins over Little Mermaid because Merida tries to fix her mistakes. Ariel doesn't get the chance to because of...runtime apparently.

[@junco88]

I never liked Pinocchio either as a kid cause it was too dark and scary. But now that I'm in my late 20's I might give it another shot. At least to appreciate the artistry.

[@swinelias]

@@junco88 ironically the book version (I think) had even darker stuff, like I think making suicide references or something like that.

[@boodledemic6430]

Pinocchio fascinates me now that I’m an adult because of how uncomfortable it made me as a kid haha

[@martina3551]

Also... another pinocchio movie came out last year, it's italian and it tries to follow the story more closely, the pacing is a bit wierd but I honestly really liked it anyways, I think it deserves to be watched by a wider audience but since it's a "foreign" movie, it got swept under the rug :(. Also it widely uses practical make-up and masks instead of cgi in a lot of cases and it just makes it more charming to me. There's so many Pinocchio movies that you could make a compilation of them honestly

[@embroideredragdoll]

Is that the one with the really weird human faced fish in it?

[@martina3551]

@@embroideredragdoll yeah lol, I'm pretty sure that's why they tried to stay away from cgi

[@JackalopeBunny]

I'm glad that someone else agreed with the fact how awful it was. By the way, is it even creepier that Geppetto making Pinocchio because his son died as a young child, his wife left him and in order to get his wife to come back, he made Pinocchio to look like their dead child? I pointed this out to everyone who watched it with me and its totally worse then the original. For real this is what the movie did to the story. Honest John really bothered me, he spoke with his teeth and he has human hands. :/ I hate it.

[@Ennuiqu]

Ikr

[@eatinaburger]

I only recently found this out myself, but the original scene where the redheaded kid turns into a donkey is why I am so scared of smoking and alcohol. I won't even clink my glass with other peoples glasses if there glass is alcoholic even in the slightest. I don't even like being around people who are smoking or vaping- that scene scarred me as a kid and I mean- I don't care, better for my organs, but the "THIS IS BAD, BAD STUFF HAPPENS IF YOU DO THIS" message is loud and really clear.

[@marcohidalgo1101]

I'm a grown man who watches brutal TV shows such as FX's The Shield, and the donkey scene from the original Disney Pinocchio still gave me chills.

[@lpsfankanr1]

I think it's the same for me. Good. It's better this way.

[@notsans9995]

Gay

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

DARE actually worked on me, that's why I don't drink or smoke, lol. But I also have always recited a similar mantra to that of what my mom would say whenever I and my siblings went into a store with her when we were kids. Hers was, "You don't want nothin, you don't need nothin, so don't ask." Mine with smoking and drinking is, "I don't want it, I don't need it, I'm good." Also, being physically assualted by your older brother's drunk girlfriend when you're 12 does wonders for being very uninterested in those things :)

[@pastelsof3887]

Yea same here and still scared of that fat bastard/the guy that turned the kids into donkeys otherwise known as Coachman

[@KingGargantuas]

It's honestly kinda sad, if even Robert Zemeckis, director of Back To The Future, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Forrest Gump, and The Walk can't even make a halfway decent live-action remake of a beloved disney classic, then any and all hope at this point for any new ones coming out is just gone at this point!

[@timidalchemist8475]

His remake of the Witches was also dreadful.

[@cajunking5987]

It’s better than the original. You just hate it because it’s different.

[@hammertoe00]

To be fair, he had kinda gone downhill after his obsession with cgi and had some recent bad films.

[@starvoltnexus3139]

Because they don’t need to exist

[@whateverhuney]

@@cajunking5987 ew, a bot

[@tahaa.]

Seriously we’re starting to see a point that Disney is ruining the remakes more than improving of classic films.

[@Orcaluv26]

The only one that felt like a genuine remake was The Jungle Book. I swear if they let Jon Favreau have creative control for Mufasa and possibly a Brother Bear remake it could bank big

[@kaiser8659]

@@Orcaluv26 I also liked Mary Poppins and the Winnie the Pooh films enough. Other than those three the remakes were the originals except worse storytelling and artistic wise.

[@Orcaluv26]

@@kaiser8659 exactly, also wasn’t Mary poppins a sort of sequel?

[@alchemystudiosink1894]

Honestly, honest John is like the best character IMO. They didn't try to pull "He is a fox so he expresses only fox level emotions." like they did with the lion king lions (Which couldn't even reach levels of normal lion emotions.)

[@rainyrouge5123]

What I really hated was the first scene. There was some real potential in changing Geppetto from just a kind and lonely old man who presumably never had the kid he wanted because he worked too much to get married and start a family to a grieving father who had a son who he lost. That could have been interesting if they did anything with it like I was expecting them to. Let's just ask the questions. How would their relationship be affected by Pinocchio looking like Geppetto's dead son? Would Geppetto see Pinocchio as his own person(or puppet)or would he expect him to be like his son? Would he resent Pinocchio for not being his son? Either way, how would Pinocchio feel about it? Would it affect Pinocchio's ability to form his own identity? Would he feel inadequate knowing he's not really what his father wished for? How would Pinocchio react to Geppetto or anyone in their village bringing up the dead son? Would Pinocchio's existence open some old wounds for Geppetto? How would he feel about being a father again? Would his emotional baggage prevent him from being a good father? Would he feel guilty over replacing his son? How did his son die? What was their relationship like? Was Geppetto a good parent? Did he make any mistakes? If so, does he want to try to do better with Pinocchio? This movie is sitting on top of an untouched gold mine of potentially compelling character drama and I will begrudgingly admit that the song at the beginning was pretty touching(the only decent emotional scene in the movie). But the movie doesn't do anything with it. It barely mentions Geppetto's late family and doesn't change anything about his characterization from the original. That's the biggest problem with the movie in my opinion. It makes changes and throws in new characters and plot points, but it doesn't do anything with them. All of the changes are pointless and it's just a blander version of the 1940 movie. It doesn't exist so I don't know if a Pinocchio remake about Geppetto learning to cope with grief and trauma to build a relationship with the magical wooden kid that comes into his life would have been a great movie, but it would have at least been more interesting.

[@rainyrouge5123]

@P4rty V4mpyre Haven't seen Astroboy, wasn't aware of that.

[@elsie8757]

God, YES. I thought all the same things and I'm so baffled they introduced the plot point of Gepetto having a dead son, only to never actually use it.

[@fernandozavaletabustos205]

A reminder that Guillermo del Toro is making their own version of Pinocchio, and that one looks a lot more promising!

[@mistermisfortune13]

2D animation needs to come back, at least a little. Disney is way too obsessed with the 3D, as is just about every animation company. 3D animation isn't bad, but 2D is still good too, and it works

[@animezilla4486]

You'll be happy to hear the Disney is trying to bring back 2D animation because they're trying to develop a 2d animation art department

[@DreamCloud90]

there will be a movie called wish which is fully 2d animated, they are gonna bring the good shit back !!!!!!

[@Pridetoons]

It's NEVER coming back.

[@sylvyboi]

y'all posting links are damned to step on a piece of lego

[@crestofhonor2349]

And when we mention 2D animation we are talking about proper hand drawn full animation, not the limited animation typically seen on TV or vector/flash animation which has plagued western TV shows for a while now

[@DaveCummings76]

I want to see this without the special effects, where Tom Hanks is in a green room, talking to tennis balls like a lunatic. Seriously, I don't think any human actor physically acted with another human actor. When you see groups of people, it looks like each person was filmed by themselves and placed on a different layer of the final product

[@fietehermans9903]

Look up behind-the-scenes material from the Star Wars prequels. It’s just people standing in empty green rooms

[@NoahGooder]

this is ironicly how i 3d render alot of stuff because i barely can render a full scene

[@47ratsinahoodie]

@@NoahGooder except you most likely put love into your work, Disney doesn't lmao

[@NoahGooder]

@@47ratsinahoodie true i will admit i have put sleep deprivation, blood ( due to paper cuts), and tears ( staring at the screen for huge amounts of time without blinking irritation), and even sweat from fustration into my work.

[@thesexybatman263]

It would be extra funny if Tom wore one of those grey bodysuits with checkered markers and then the animators overlaid a CGI costume over him, like what has been done for Ironman.

[@moistwater4503]

I love when Pinocchio suddenly turns into a boat motor

[@LeoDMaso]

thats actually in the book as well

[@tripplesouth]

I walked by my father watching this movie, Towards the end when they had escaped the "whale". I recall Pinocchio was found unconscious on the beach in the original movie. And for him to wake up, he had to be turned into a real boy. In this movie when they found Geppetto unconscious on the beach, rather than Pinocchio. I told my father "Oh, are they gonna turn Geppetto into a real father, to wake him up?"

[@KitsuneShapeShifter]

This is hilarious! Great comment!

[@firefly56embers33]

Haha

[@toheekang174]

Remake this, remake that. Come on Disney, the word “remake” does not just mean improving visual quality. And you still failed to do even that.

[@ladyer0n199]

Fun fact, I took a voice acting class over the weekend, and the teacher (who, for privacy reasons will remain anonymous) was almost going to be the voice of Jiminy cricket. But he was replaced with the guy in the movie (I forget his name, I'm sorry.) Regardless, the teacher told us that he was a bit pissed about being replaced 😕

[@SlapstickGenius23]

I feel pretty sorry for you and your teacher too. He or she does a much better Jiminy Cricket impression than Joseph Gordon Levitt can ever do!

[@looneysprig]

I know this is off-topic, but you can take voice acting classes over the weekend? I honestly wanna take some voice acting lessons

[@dragames]

@@looneysprig You can also watch some different lessons on youtube, but here's just a few starting things. 1) figure out your vocal style. Can you do elmo like voice? Try to do high and low, nasal and not. See which ones you can do and with each of those... 2) vocal range. Figure out how high and low each of those go. For instance, right now I've had covid twice and it's damaged the shit out of my voice so right now if I do a stitch impersonation I can't do it higher pitch into Elmo. (and yeah, it is the same type of voice, just in different octaves.) without my voice cracking and I'm trying to take honey and warm water to see if it'll get better over time. But, to use this example, I wouldn't say I could do elmo because I can only do 'elmo' at a base intonation and if elmo was to project and be excited, his voice would go higher... and that's where my voice would now crack. However, I also have a deep voice so I (used to) have a similar vocal range to Ben Diskins. But, to end this point, each voice you do is going to have a different vocal range. 3) Accents. This is pretty common that a lot of voice actors end up adapting some similar to british accents as it's VERY common in dubbing and in games like Dragon Age. But it's good to figure out if you can roll your r's (I can't). 4) Face-accents. So, say you get an image of a character. Oh, it's an ogre with a wide jaw. Try doing the voice but with your jaw pushed forward as if you're imagining your face also having a wide jaw as you do it. 5) the rest of it is just acting. Making the voice sound the appropriate emotion. I'm not a profesional, I've just dabbled in doing different voices and was likewise interested in trying to do VA but it's a bit harder to get into without connections.

[@LuxLoser]

Did anyone else notice they never once established that Pinnochio’s nose grows from lying? He just knows to do it in order to get out of Strombolli’s cage.

[@iamnotthatguy7166]

i love how disney doesn’t have time to develop pinnochio and geppetos relationship but they have time to plug in their other properties with that horrible clock scene

[@chadschmaltz9790]

Putting references to their other properties is something Disney has done since their Renaissance. In Aladdin, there is a scene where the sultan is stacking little figurines and one looks like Beast from Beauty and the Beast. I also remember a 2D animated Dismey movie where there is a rug that has Carpet's pattern from Aladdin. I think they went way overboard in this movie with putting so many other properties into one scene. I agree with Saber that maybe 1 or 2 references would have been enough.

[@DMCsDantefanchick]

To Chad - That movie was the “The Princess and the Frog”.

[@Attmay]

Jesus Christ! They used the clock sequence as a memberberry scene? What shills!

[@iamnotthatguy7166]

@@chadschmaltz9790 the ones they did during the renaissance era were just fun little things the animators put in for people to notice it didn’t actually interfere with the movie itself or it’s artistic value. the clock scene felt like an actual advertisement built into their movie, it’s pure corporate bullshit.

[@26th_Primarch]

I think the funniest part is how well they can make a realistic animal design for Honest John and Gideon actually emote in a readable manner which goes to show how badly done the animation decisions for that Lion King remake was.

[@villainking990]

So true

[@animatrix1490]

I think it helps that they animate the hands and body expressively in this movie (whereas in Lion King 2019 they put like no visible bodily emotions in the movie)

[@alexk7880]

I think its because he is more cartoon of an anthro type which is easier than making than an actual animal.

[@Sonic-BOM]

Seriously we’re starting to see a point that Disney is ruining the remakes more than improving of classic films.

[@JohanKylander]

Disney's going for the highest profit to budget ratio.

[@goldandcheese]

Or, you know.. Disney not making anything new frequently

[@fernandozavaletabustos205]

A reminder that Guillermo del Toro is making their own version of Pinocchio, and that one looks a lot more promising!

[@theeachuisge]

Remakes do not erase the past.

[@andrewblack2596]

Disney is Dead.

[@peblezQ]

The OG scene where that kid turns into a donkey was one of my childhood trauma memories with a movie that wasn't supposed to be horror

[@sabby_80]

I honestly thought at the end, Geppetto and Pinocchio were going to join the girl and her new puppet show. I thought THAT was going to be the "new ending". After Geppetto sold everything, I figured it would've made sense?, especially if they were going a whole new route. NOPE. They never even finished her arc, she was beyond pointless, even that song she sung was WAY too current.

[@unfabgirl]

I was all set for them joining the puppet show as well. Geppetto could make the puppets for them! (Even just as an after credits scene, it still would have been more fulfilling)

[@kiera_rdh6697]

The worst part for me is in the original (as in original Disney film, not the book), Gepetto is a kind old man who never married or had children so he makes Pinocchio to fill his desire to be a parent and have a child. Then he wishes on the star for Pinocchio to be a real boy and be his son. (Don’t know if that is the case in the original stories, but in the first Disney Pinnochio that was my interpretation growing up) WELL in the new one Gepetto already HAD a son who died, so he makes Pinocchio as a puppet version of his son, even saying “it looks just like him!” And he wishes for his DEAD SON to come back to life, but the beam of magic bounces off the glass frame holding the picture of the son and accidentally hits Pinocchio instead. So Gepetto was like “oh you’re not REALLY my son but you’ll do” That is so fucking ghoulish.

[@JudasFm]

The original creation's a bit weird. Geppetto begs a piece of wood from his neighbor, intending to make a regular puppet to earn his living with, only it turns out the wood is magical and can move and talk. Geppetto's remarkably accepting of this. Although the other puppets in Fire-Eater (Stromboli's) troupe can also move and talk like regular people in the book, so maybe sentient wood is normal in that world ;) It does have talking foxes and cats, after all...

[@codyflake3080]

It kind of is. In the original novel, Gepetto didn’t craft Pinocchio or wish on a star out of desire of becoming a parent. Pinocchio is alive from the start, which kind of explains why Disney decided to change that. However Gepetto becomes sympathetic to Pinocchio after finding him in quite the predicament and decides to care for him like a loving father.

[@emiritorisei]

In the original book, Pinocchio is Geppetto’s first son and I believe that’s why he was special to him. Sure, he was already alive, but he was still Gepetto’s first son and he loved him. Pinocchio seems like he doesn’t love Gepetto at the start but as the book goes on, it’s clear he loves him too.

[@emiritorisei]

@@codyflake3080 Gepetto was crafting Pinocchio. And yes, Pinocchio was alive already, but only as wood.

[@emiritorisei]

@@JudasFm Gepetto didn’t beg for anything. He was given the wood. Also Gepetto loved Pinocchio just like he did in the Disney version. He was very special to him.

[@TheRibottoStudios]

Between the Lion King Remake of the stampede scene, and this remake of the donkey scene, I'm not sure which is worse in terms of ABSOLUTELY FAILING to capture that original emotion.

[@cintronproductions9430]

IKR? The original Donkey TF scene was well-made, terrifying and you could feel the terror in Lampwick's voice. Here it looks weird and the goofy cgi donkey head makes it ironically funny and Lampwick's screams sound sarcastic.

[@TheRibottoStudios]

@@cintronproductions9430 what makes it work that hardly anyone is mentioning is the BUILDUP. Like with the OG stampede scene, the buildup is what makes the payoff hit like a semi truck painted blue with flames on it. The music, the camera work, the animation, the acting it all comes together in the originals. Here, the kid just sounded so bored and one note. I was cringing so hard. The donkey scene in the LA version is way too fast paced. The OG is two minutes, this is a minute. But it feels like the longest, cringiest minute of your life. However, in the original, those two minutes feel long, but in the sense that, you're essentially LIKE Pinocchio himself. You WANT to look away, but can't. You're stuck. THAT'S good storytelling. The remakes all have the same beats, but the rhythm is all off.

[@yeeyeeyeeye]

It feels like to me that every time Disney attempts to recreate the exact same feelings and experiences as the original movie (and oh boy they try), they completely forget what made the originals in the first place. The original 1940 movie isn't really an adventure where Pinnochio is just a victim of a world that hates him; it's a morality tale about how giving into your vices and impulses robs you of your humanity and how you can still be a good person no matter how many mistakes you have made in the past. We root for Pinnochio because of his flaws, as we all have been naive, impulsive, etc. but we still strive to be better than we were. I don't understand why they're so keen on remaking a morality tale but yet they're so afraid of presenting a movie with a main character who's problematic, especially considering the popularity of media that features unlikable main characters like Breaking Bad or Bojack Horseman.

[@JBrotsis1]

Growing up, Pinocchio wasn’t one of my top 5, maybe even top 10, of the favored Disney classic cartoons. However, my all time favorite part of the film was always seeing the giant sperm whale. How unnaturally menacing and terrifying he was. This movie completely butchered Monstro to a degree it’s infuriating. Instead of simply making a dark sperm whale, they decided to go with sharkctopus, with wings, from the syfy channel. Disney needs to stop with these live action remakes because this is getting atrocious.

[@uniserenity1414]

I believe and this could be wrong, they changed the design of Monstro in the 2022 version because, in the original story, he's an oversized dogfish. so maybe they wanted him to look more like that?

[@dudeinadoughboy4327]

I always avoided watching Pinocchio as a kid cause the donkey and whale scene were terrifying to me

[@coocooformycocoapuffs3235]

the movie scared me as a kid but now that im older I just look at the animation and Im like whoa i miss this animation

[@Befer65]

I always liked the 1996 live action version of the whale instead, well it wasn't a whale but it was a sea monster that kinda still had whale looks

[@JustAnArrogantAlien]

If you read about the development of the 1940 _Pinocchio,_ Disney REALLY cared about making that film work. For one thing, the main character: Pinocchio in the original Collodi book was an unholy brat. He made Bart Simpson look like Oliver Twist. Realizing how difficult it would be to make audiences sympathize with such an awful child, Disney took a different approach and made him innocent and naive. Pinocchio’s design went through MANY iterations. They couldn’t quite create an endearing living puppet design until Milt Kahl suggested that they were doing it wrong: instead of designing him as a puppet, they needed to design him as a _child,_ then add wooden joints and whatnot to complete the image. A LOT of risk and design choices went into making that film, and it holds up spectacularly well to this day. With this remake there was no such refinement process; they’re just redoing what worked before in a new medium. What works in 2D does not necessarily translate to 3D, but there was no refinement process when putting this remake together. They just took the legwork that the actually talented artists did way back when (yes, shot fired, what are you gonna do, Disney?) and did all over again. They’re like a new student copying his older brother’s homework for a free passing grade (with a little added “diversity” for cheap clout on Twitter). It’s a disgusting betrayal of Disney’s legacy and the arts in general (that sounds more pretentious than I expected, but it’s the truth). Why do people keep seeing these awful live-action remakes? No one likes them, and yet they keep making money! For goodness sake, DON’T watch this movie, folks. Go back and rewatch the original. Stop encouraging Disney to make more of these!

[@elsie8757]

Man, if Milt Kahl wasn't my hero before...! xD

[@vladprus4019]

This quote sums it well: "You've read what others has done and you took a next step. You didn't earn a knowledge for yourself, so you don't take any responsibility for it. You stood in the shoulders of geniuses to acomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had, you packing it, packaged it and slapped on a lunchbox and you're selling it. Selling it." - Tan Malcolm in "Jurassic Park"

[@emiritorisei]

Pinocchio wasn’t a “unholy brat”. He was a bad kid but he learned his lesson by the end of the book. He did do some bad things but they were not THAT bad to the point where he could be called a unholy brat. He just made mistakes and he was just new to the world, he learned from his mistakes. I hate when people exaggerate things. Also “He made Bart Simpson look like Oliver Twist”? Bruh.

[@RocketHarry865]

@@emiritorisei Actually in the very first iteration he actually killed the cricket and got his maker arrested

[@emiritorisei]

@@RocketHarry865 I know what he did, but most of the things he did were just stupid things. They weren’t okay to do, but those two things you mentioned along with him taking Gepetto’s wig off were the only times he actually hurt someone.

[@gryes]

Why they didn't give him a puppet to just hold is beyond me, feels like the simplest thing to just stick some pegs into a piece of wood and call it a prop

[@brianapereira2694]

They had all the money in the world to hire that cast, pay for all that marketing, animate/rig/light up all those scenes... and they couldn't afford a simple puppet for the acting.

[@InkGraffiti]

Yeah thats absolutely bizarre, I haven't seen the movie so all I've seen of the bad tracking comes from this video but it absolutely looks like they did not give him a prop to hold lol

[@christianstonecipher1547]

I was thinking the same thing except even easier, just hand a cylinder the size of Pinocchio's torso, they keep all the artistic freedom to move limbs however they want while also having a clear physical object to hold so that the hands are always the correct spacing.

[@brianapereira2694]

@@christianstonecipher1547 Exactly! Other films use tennis balls on sticks or a rough rigging of a head for larger CGI animals.

[@dontmindme2990]

Oh yeah, the real pinocchio is really harsh. I read it recently and from what I can remember the biggests chocks are: Pinocchio killing the criquet really early in the book, Pinocchio gets Gepeto arrested since he keeps wasting Gepeto's money, he is tricked by the fox and cat who try to kill him and he bites off the cat's hand, the cat and fox HANG HIM TO A TREE where he slowly suffocates but the blue fairy gives up most of her life to save him, He is not only turned into a donkey but is also whipped by his owner and is then throw off a cliff with rocks tied to him, he again gets the blue fairy to give up life force to retransform him and finally, he finds his dad in the whale and whom has lost all hope and considers using him as wood for the fire or let himself die. Also, I think the fairy died at some point but still manages to manifest herself thru Gepeto's love and turn Pinocchio into a human. And that's without talking about all the gaslight from both sides.

[@inanimatesum4945]

I just love that irony of the drinking purely because it feels like ever since they’ve let people consume alcohol at the parks, the ADULTS got more childish and insane.

[@cactusgamingyt9960]

Agreed, disney adults turned disney world into pleasure island 2.

[@thejay8963]

@im calling saul Saul stop trying to rickroll me

[@goliathusregius360]

It would have been so cool to see this done with actual puppets, like I don't know why Disney is going so hard with the live action CGI hybrid remakes, it never looks good

[@animezilla4486]

If this was a brand new film entirely I don't like people will have a problem with it CGI hybrids

[@Nixlplix]

Because they hate their fans, why else?

[@marcohidalgo1101]

There's the 1996 live-action version starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas, which has an actual puppet designed by Jim Henson for Pinocchio.

[@zzzinzyistired]

@@Nixlplix i heard its because it was in walt disneys will to remake all the disney classics or something

[@AMVpurgatory]

Because CGI is "realistic" and "grown up" and modern audiences feel like they're being more respected that way. When you have no respect for art, you feel as though art has no respect for you.

[@IAmAriqueAlt]

It’s funny how the daytime scenes look like someone cranked up the exposure video effect, but the nighttime scenes are so dark that it makes Godzilla 2014 look brighter in comparison.

[@vivir339]

It’s crazy to me how little care goes into every aspect of these remakes. Even simple things like color and lighting would seem like no-brainers to get right, and I can barely make out anything from the Coachman picture at 5:57 Just... GOD why are people still watching these?!

[@marcohidalgo1101]

They should've taken notes from the 2003 live-action Peter Pan. Yes, a movie from almost 20 years ago did better daytime AND nighttime scenes than a movie that came out just recently.

[@sundalosketch4769]

it's the main reason i have such a heavy distaste for real life media, shows or movies, the lighting always suck and don't even get me started on the annoyance that is the quiet night time mumbles the characters always have, vs the loud boomy battle effects every single time.

[@thatonenoname196]

I feel they are overworking their VFX team WAY too much. Like marvel, disney remakes, etc. Is all being cranked out yearly.

[@ceber54]

Nobody saw the Disney's version of Pinocchio in Mexico, but the del Toro's version was a hit, even when the comercial cinemas suddenly cancelled the exhibitions. I saw it in Cineteca Nacional, the movie theatre was full.

[@EpixAndroid]

Fun fact: the original version is one of few films to recieve a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. This film? It only gets a rating of 28%.

[@remixchild]

Surprised? Not really.

[@KZoopam]

The Chad "Pinocchio: A True Story" vs the Virgin "Pinocchio" live-action remake.

[@CeHee123]

No. They're both virgins.

[@wolfkitty42]

How do you even compare the two

[@bearerofbadnews1375]

Honestly would watch meme fuel Pinocchio over the remake any day of the week.

[@alexv3375]

*THANK YOU DADDY* *EH SKIDISKIDISKIDISKI*

[@floranuko2854]

I haven't been watching ANY disney live action remakes. Avoiding them completely while getting the info from awesome youtubers like you!!

[@firefly56embers33]

@@zangler2 dude I can tell the story isn't anything special when I see this at 2:47 Pinocchio about to squish him with that hammer to the point of comedy.

[@saininj]

The only one I've seen was The Jungle Book, and that's only because it was a double feature at a drive in. I have no interest in seeing anymore after that.

[@firefly56embers33]

@@zangler2 Dude I can see when the quality of that piece of media is good or not I'm not going to enjoy a lazy cash grab that actually looks way worse than the original. It's almost like we are missing something in these remakes called actually doing this justice not just watching things just because it came out. Also 2:57 is good indicator of what to expect from its almost list of bad cgi animation, to the dead eyes in his face the background almost to the point of blinding and that hint of slight murderous intent welding that hammer.

[@firefly56embers33]

@@zangler2 hm? If this is how you try to make a statement about other people opinions than maybe you might be the naive one.

[@floranuko2854]

​@@zangler2 I still prefer to watch this review to know what to expect. I can see the bad quality and I refuse to give disney my money when it comes to lazy remakes of movies that were never outdated to begin with. They just want people to feel nostalgic instead of giving the people new content.

[@NxTTxT]

The insane thing re: scrubbing this movie clean of Pinocchio doing anything bad or morally questionable is that him making poor choices and THEN suffering the consequences of those choices is literally the point of the story. He doesn’t lie to Jiminy for the sake of it, he lies to THE BLUE FAIRY to avoid any accountability when asking her for help.

[@RaphBlade7]

Well other than him sniffing horseshit, but personally I think that scene pretty much encapsulates what is wrong with it! Underage drinking & smoking is a no-no, but sniffing a pile of shit, that's A-OK! Cue the Nostalgia Critic's "A FAMILY PICTURE"!

[@longlivethesheet4561]

Thanks Disney for making my position of defending the Jungle Book remake even harder

[@animezilla4486]

I am defending that remake of The jungle book also because it's really was a good movie especially like it when they change that ending the remake ending is better than the original ending

[@blobbertmcblob4888]

I actually liked the first LA jungle book. One of the only Disney LA movies I've enjoyed. I really like the jungle book as a kid, too, so maybe that's why.

[@erikdaniels0n]

Jungle Book!2016 was actually good because it took the bones of the original film and expanded upon it

[@kurisari1937]

They still took their first remakes seriously. Now it’s just embarrassing.

[@sundalosketch4769]

Out of all the live action remakes Disney has done, the Jungle Book (did they call it Mowgli or am i thinking of a different adaptation?) is the less cringe of them all.

[@jasonlumpkin4732]

So even in this movie, the transformation into a donkey is still downplayed eventhough it was more horrifying and agonizing in the book. In the book, Pleasure Island was called the "Land of Toys." The coachman had moments where he was the scariest character in the movie. The original film was a masterpiece in a time when making full-length animated feature films was risky. Disney just don't know how to make movies like that anymore.

[@JasonRasmussen]

Every Disney remake review: I’ll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you’re using here: it didn’t require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn’t earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don’t take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you’re selling it, you want to sell it. - Ian Malcolm

[@sophiepass3317]

about half way through the movie i was actually hoping they’d divert from the plot of the animated movie and actually send geppetto to pleasure island to maybe learn more about his son (as it’s hinted that that is how he ‘died’). it might have given hanks a little more to do, flesh out more of the story there with the donkeys, and the coachman and those spirit things, then geppetto and pinocchio could escape together by boat to then get swallowed. but no, we had to watch them shout across the ocean to each other for way too long..

[@ruri1706]

I was seriously crying laughing at how bad this movie was after I watched it, and when I was telling my sister about the things wrong with it, it sounded like I was describing a fever nightmare. Like, I was lying to myself all the way up to Monstro that this might be okay, but the tentacles just drove it home how much of a hilarious mess all of it was. Not to even mention the ending, I thought I was gonna die laughing at how awful it was.

[@sugarcandykiddycat1986]

He didn't even turn into a real boy!

[@SieMiezekatze]

I hated this movie as a kid , it gave me nightmares

[@partygamingz3332]

@@sugarcandykiddycat1986 he did at the end....that's the worse part because its so unnoticiable and so unimpactful, which jimminy cricket making it even more confusing

[@littlezork]

@@partygamingz3332 Literally the end said to make your own conclusion if he did or didn't. They didn't actually show it. It was like they blew the budget and didn't want to bother editing the transformation scene.

[@tamararambo3079]

What makes me angry is they cut the scene when Jiminy called out Pinocchio for his bad boy behavior at Pleasure Island. The whole 2022’s Pinocchio has no moral lessons throughout the movie.

[@MrsYasha1984]

Yeah. They seem really reluctant to give moral lessons. But the originals purpose was a moral lesson. That is what pinocchio is about! Yo you take that out, there is left... nothing. Just weirdness. Because the imagery loses it's purpose

[@cintronproductions9430]

They only cut that out cuz they made Pinocchio a flawless Gary Stu who instantly feels uncomfortable with Pleasure Island instead of actually learning anything.

[@bearerofbadnews1375]

They turned Pinocchio from a naive boy that get’s himself in trouble. To a good boy that gets dragged into trouble.

[@Skipatronic]

My favorite part of the original Disney Pinocchio was the part with Monstro. From the search for him underwater, to seeing what he looked like, to the final chase sequence; he was genuinely terrifying due to how realistic his design was, his roars, and geniune look of mallace throughout his screen time. The climactic chase at the end IMO is still one of the greatest and most intense moments in all of animation. They totally screwed up such an iconic moment in the remake because they made him look like some sort of Whale Octopus thing and you never really get to see all of him. Also Pinocchio and Gepetto don't appear to be in any sort of danger as they easily escape him no problem. Part of what made the original 1940's chase so memorable was how dire it was as they couldn't get away from Monstro and how Monstro destroys their raft. This makes Pinocchio slowly drag an unconscious Gepetto to the cave in the rocks while Monstro is charging and then proceeds to leap at them before smashing into the rocks.

[@salvaore31]

Original pinocchio is the book

[@Skipatronic]

@@salvaore31 I was referring to the original animation done by Disney in the 1940s when saying original. I'll be sure to be clearer next time.

[@addisonpernsteiner6569]

I don’t know if anyone else noticed but there is a scene in the movie where jiminy cricket kicks off his shoes and the animation phases one shoe out making it disappear. It’s something so obvious that I feel like simply rewatching the film was something they didn’t feel like doing before release.