This AWFUL Pinocchio Movie is PURE CHAOS

[@HarvestBrook]

The funniest part about this movie to me is how literally all they did to make him look and act wooden is add a faint wood texture to his skin. Nothing else. Like, his model is just a normal-ass dude with a wood overlay. He looks no different when he becomes a real boy.

[@pikachuneoncat6480]

_Yes._

[@scenedawgy]

ok i did not know you'd be here

[@kylewoodson]

Hell yeah, it's very bizarre. I don't find it like hilarious-hilarious, but I do find it funny and weird that he has this blocky, sharp looks at him, who has wooden texture on his skin and that's it. Just a normal wood boy lol

[@angycat4262]

@@kylewoodson we can't even see if he has those wooden ball joints like he should have to be able to move in so many angles like that

[@SlapstickGenius23]

Well, the acting is very wooden.

[@n.o6709]

The cat is the best character. He's the only one with consistency. He shows a consistent need to destroy things. Just like a real cat.

[@caucasoidape8838]

He has a hilarious design, almost like a furry Morshu.

[@n.o6709]

@@caucasoidape8838 Yes! "Morshu the Cat" or "Furry Morshu", because I don't know his real name.

[@katherinesmallbean3594]

The cat is glorious. He just shoots shit

[@rainpooper7088]

Talking Tom really let himself go.

[@NukkuiskoHyvinVaiPois]

@@rainpooper7088 Nah, he's just bulging to become thicc

[@420roachdoggjr]

Imagine making a Pinocchio film where his nose doesn't grow when he lies. That's like his defining trait other than being a puppet. It's so ingrained in popular culture that there's even an emoji for it 🤥.

[@erismason3441]

It's like making a Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer movie but he has a normal nose and can't fly; what's the point?

[@YakkoWarnerTower]

This totally don't feel like the classic Pinocchio lol it's more non canon, and literally more rad, and trendy.

[@mr.mcnuggies]

I just realized what made this pinocchio seem off to me

[@chidubemmo]

Here in Italy it even became a saying

[@sebastiengendron6427]

@@YakkoWarnerTower and they had the nerve to call it "a true story" lol, if only they read the grim fairytale version.

[@gabya.5082]

"we don't really know what the characters want exactly" Well the cat just wants to fuck shit up apparently

[@ot7biasedmashups]

Woke up and chose violence

[@scorpiocarnage1055]

@@ot7biasedmashups Nah, it slept and dreamed violence then woke up to make it reality.

[@itspienoon7883]

Easily the best character of the film

[@draum8103]

Why did the cat set the circus on fire? Won't that kill all the people they're normally stealing from/Pinocchio who they were demanding had to stay in the circus???

[@furimindusties5736]

@@draum8103 if the owners are dead, it's no longer stealing.

[@georgejefferson8048]

The cat is definitely the best character. He just shoots Pinocchio a few times and that's his personality.

[@sirpixel7945]

The Cat when he see's Pinocchio: "So anyways I started blasting"

[@losingdogs]

@@sirpixel7945 HELP

[@himikoyumeno7737]

I saw the prince of egypt and this in the same store.... I will never be the same. I've never watched the prince of egypt but its "little crab mans" favorite dreamworks film..

[@teddythefreggy2053]

@@superdinotv3298 Pinocchio: Da-- Cat: *FBI OPEN UP*

[@draum8103]

You'd think Pinnochio would plan to kill the cat after.the first or second time he shot him, but instead he's like 'oh well, just gotta stay in the circus and keep letting the cat shoot me in the head/torso'

[@mattflorey3211]

The main thing that bugs me about the movie is he doesn't look like he's wood. No joints, no blocky structure, no wood texture.

[@feralfroggie6828]

Exactly! he has a *slight* wood texture on his 'skin' but his body and limbs just look like a regular dude :/

[@wraithreaper22]

Except there is clear wood texture, what are you talking about?

[@lollybowser]

@@wraithreaper22 the girl looks way more like a doll than he does. He's just a boy with crispy skin.

[@wraithreaper22]

@@lollybowser 😂

[@generalalduin9548]

There was a very brief moment where you can see wood texture when he turned his head when he was talking to the fairy.

[@justabridget]

As a young aspiring writer, nothing gives me more confidence then knowing that I, a high schooler, could write a better, more compelling story, characters, and dialogue than a team of fully grown adults can

[@emblemblade9245]

Nothing gives me less confidence than knowing you won’t be able to make as much money off it despite it being way better quality :(

[@caucasoidape8838]

I believe you.

[@stimpsonjcat26]

As a young aspiring writer you will need to know the difference between "then" and "than"

[@williek08472]

Same

[@antisocialal4799]

@@stimpsonjcat26 Give the kid a break. They’re in high school and “aspiring writer.” A little grammar hiccup happens when it’s informal. So, chill out.

[@maixe13]

Old Pinocchio: learning about morals This Pinocchio: wants to get laid

[@cbolanz1]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[@falconeshield]

This Pinocchio is also too fruity to not be in the closet

[@mebii3830]

The most insulting part is that it's by a girl

[@asmolblueberry]

He wants that worldussy

[@lizzythequeer3065]

@@falconeshield i see what you did there

[@blazedultimate]

It shouldn’t be called a “true story” unless Pinocchio actually hangs himself like in the original book- Edit: don’t believe me? Look it up, it’s true

[@dickcake6944]

what

[@ByzAsian45]

Collidi story

[@louaidz1929]

@@dickcake6944 the original pinocchio story is dark as hell

[@josephleisses3997]

He also has to be thrown into the ocean as a donkey, only to be eaten back down into a puppet again. Also has to smash Jiminy the Cricket with a woodworking mallet after only half a scene.

[@N1GHTSTRIKER-45]

The best worst ending

[@themostdistinguishedsnek6856]

The saddest thing is that the Netflix Pinocchio (which has about a billion times more effort put into it), with its brilliant stop motion animation and it’s great voice acting, being overshadowed by THIS. Edit: Yes, the one on Netflix is the Guillmero del toro one.

[@themostdistinguishedsnek6856]

@2freeIvX Yes, but I think that the teaser trailer is better than the entire lionsgate one.

[@TheMooseDid1t]

AND there's also the Disney one coming out this year as well.

[@themostdistinguishedsnek6856]

@@TheMooseDid1t Is it a bad live action remake of disneys version of Pinocchio? It probably is. Why.

[@joseenricomaniwang4361]

The memes @PotatoMaster the memes...

[@Isaac-gh5ku]

@@themostdistinguishedsnek6856 Who knows. Maybe, hopefully, REALLY hopefully for once, Disney will do something that is actually right. Also, have you heard that Disney will be doing a live-action remake of Peter Pan called Peter Pan & Wendy?

[@yomommasofatthanoshadtosna3479]

I love how the cat just flat out attacks everything, like: minor problem? No worries just pull out the gun or set fire to the freaking circus!

[@cintronproductions9430]

He IS a cat, after all. XD

[@adamlambboy8332]

Honestly the only accurate character in the entire film.

[@hyperstormx3194]

"Violence is never the answer. It's a question, and the answer is 'yes'." -Shitty Circus Cat

[@gamewizardthesecond]

The cats the best part of the movie haha

[@allenmurallo3730]

The ring master was the one that set fire to circus. The cat held that blue-haired girl at gunpoint in that scene.

[@Fakkuru]

I love the cat man. He wakes up and chooses violence every day.

[@Sftie_Sophia]

Me too, even the fox

[@X_Tsukasa_X]

Cat is only likeable character 😂

[@Sftie_Sophia]

@@X_Tsukasa_X yeah, but I also like the fox, even if he doesn't do anything, I think it's worth of liking the fox aswell

[@treatgumwithmaddness]

POPEE A FRIEND FOR YOU

[@lengorchi8707]

For better understanding of characters you can read about “Buratino” - Russian version of Pinocchio. It’s where are evil puppetmaster, bandits cat and fox, and Malvina, a girl with blue hair, from. Also, Buratino’s nose never grows when he lies!

[@joannjames7985]

Huh, that makes more sense than trying to fit it into the other Pinnochio story

[@blueberry5822]

Buratino was conscripted to fight in ukraine and tests the landmines because he’s wood

[@mayhair]

I watched the 1975 Buratino movie with subtitles, and read the original Pinocchio story, to prepare myself

[@misery_shun]

And the fact that they couldn't even decide to which version to stick to is just so infuriating. There wasn't even a fairy in Buratino, they could've just made Pinocchio puppet Jesus

[@nittayoshifumi8252]

@@blueberry5822 He wood explode

[@pyraffin]

This and the "GiVe hiM tO mEE, aUGH~" barbie movie weasle are two of the funniest things I've seen in animation, and they weren't even intentionally funny

[@natalies7485]

oh Otto was definitely meant to be comedy evil xD

[@captainshadowfox]

God the weasle

[@ashleyhansen4479]

Funny enough, the Barbie Rapunzel movie (which is where the weasel guy is from) seems more watchable than this because of nostalgia purposes.

[@xxyzxxyz690]

@@cringlepingle honestly I unironically still like them because they're genuinely fun to watch

[@taylor34]

Oh my god and Harley from pokemon lmaooo

[@sketchyskies8531]

"I'm real and I'm AliVe!" Also the fact that,despite being Pinocchio, his nose doesn't grow when he lies, which is the entire premise of the original source material

[@fatherpucci8170]

"I'm Boy."

[@poweroffriendship2.0]

Tybalt actually mentioned about the growing nose part in the beginning of the film, but I feel like it's a cop-out when it never happened.

[@therani9600]

As I heard, this film is actually Russian And in Russia, there is a soviet kind-of-knockoff Pinocchio, called "Buratino" which is a lot more popular than the original Pinocchio, and the story is very different aside from the initial setting of Buratino being a live puppet. And in this story, his nose is long by default and doesn't grow when he lies. And the girl with blue hair also present in this story, she is yet another live puppet there, her name is Malvina and she is a runaway from the cruel puppet show. (And I think this is why the love interest girl is a circus performer in this movie lol) So, I actually think that the authors just forgot the part with the growing nose from the original, lol.

[@billcipher8645]

@@therani9600 even if they based it on the Russian version it's not really faithful either is it? Honestly I wouldn't care about faithfulness if it wasn't a movie that gained international traction and could introduce the world to Russian folktales

[@rueblie2627]

Entire premise is a bit of an exaggeration. It doesn’t come up that often, making an adaptation that cuts it isn’t that unreasonable. Certainly not the worst crime this film commits

[@thelastvalkyrie1998]

Three things I've learned: Excellent voice casting, yet they couldn't take their jobs seriously (likely due to the bizarre story) Animation is patchy with its visual balance The cat needs to take a gun safety course

[@nikdoesstuff9338]

What if the cat would watch cool cat saves the kids and learns gun safety omg

[@LePenguin]

@@nikdoesstuff9338 He should watch the Eddie the Eagle stuff

[@luckyshot2252]

Give him a big ass sword/chainsaw/motorcycle he's about to show dante what's good lol

[@grocku2867]

Made me laugh

[@meliponalord8892]

I wouldn't exactly call Pauly Shore excellent voice casting...

[@eyelove_owlcity]

This movie is an instant classic. It's right up there with The Room and Troll 2.

[@crystallizedhxnna1424]

LMAOO

[@jell-opop9431]

OMG YES

[@crystallizedhxnna1424]

@Garbage Guy he was there? damn

[@SMN9a]

Sup

[@Spinelsofficalwife]

HIIIII CYRUS

[@PURRfect7]

YES My brother showed me the trailer for this and I immediately looked to see if you had done this video, and now you have and I am happy lol

[@justsomeguywholovesberserk6375]

It’s that voice and that voice which screams Yassified Pinnochio

[@spiderplant]

Yeow

[@jackgarrison8497]

@don't be surprised Lionsgate is One of The Companies that made The Saw Movies and The Ju-on Movies Ju-on is The Original Movie that Inspired The Grudge

[@ThatDudeWithBoobs]

@@spiderplant Booty. Bleese blaye Dee Em Cee Too

[@gmdrandom6287]

*yass

[@paveloleynikov4715]

For me, it looks like that while they call THIS Pinnochio, they butchered not the original story, but old USSR adaptation, called "Buratino". Some design choices are stupidly similar

[@dankenstin8803]

Do you mean the live-action Buratino or the animated one? I only watched the live-action one as a kid

[@Ihatenamehandles]

@@dankenstin8803 The original Soviet story. The 1959 cartoon and the 1976 film are adaptations.

[@BottomOfTheDumpsterFire]

Yeah, it seems like they weren't clear on whether they were doing Pinocchio or Buratino, because you could absolutely make a mix of them that's gold, just... not this.

[@themoonchild7302]

So not only is this horrible but it’s communist?

[@BottomOfTheDumpsterFire]

@@themoonchild7302 what no the ussr is gone

[@AverytheCubanAmerican]

Pinocchio: a wooden boy Cat: *So anyway, I started blasting* You could say Pinocchio's voice actor's performance was... _wooden._ This is literally the kind of movie you'd find on DVD at a gas station or Family Dollar

[@draum8103]

What I don't understand is that if Pinocchio is just made out of wood, he could get shot by the cat, but then just run over with a hole in his head/torso or whatever and beat the cat unconscious with his wooden limbs and escape the circus.

[@RealGrey128]

The writers were differently high.

[@SonicHaXD]

I love seeing you lose it while describing the plot XD

[@aihoshinoirl]

Ok

[@HUNTR11]

Funny lizard man is here

[@Roeclean]

Ha nad I love hearing it🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@el_cucino]

@@Roeclean add more emojis

[@Amira_Phoenix]

The whole movie is just a fever dream 😵

[@ChokyDaWerehusky]

The entire budget went into the girl's hair physics.

[@krypticunlimited6925]

I was physically taken aback at how smooth her hair animation was, espeically compared to what the rest of the movie looked like

[@sarahcloud444]

Yes! When I watched the movie I kept making comments about Bella’s hair physics. Everyone else’s hair seems so stiff compared to hers. I actually think it’s a little over the top at some parts.

[@wildfirefox1]

Blue girl: Moves slightly Her hair: Cha cha real smooth

[@skyxclouds3765]

This feels like one of those 2000 movies made by an mediocre indie animation company that you would randomly find in Cartoon Network and never heard of it again, until many years later you heard someone say "hey, does anybody remember this movie or it was just a dream i had as a kid?".

[@sallomon2357]

Like the CGI one about the dragon-scaly blonde teen who breaths fire (I think it was on CN or Nickelodeon...?) ? Yeah, I agree

[@DefinitelyNotCursedPen]

There was a movie where a girl had a dad who was a mortician, and there was a plot point with a witch and the protagonist' necklace shaped as a heart. Maybe called mom I turned into a zombie?

[@anonymousmystery4852]

@@DefinitelyNotCursedPen mummy I’m a zombie is the movie

[@lauriex8832]

@@anonymousmystery4852 god, I used to love that movie

[@alysssabear]

That's _exactly_ what I thought of!

[@Chchommi]

As someone going into the character design field, it's so horrific to be picked to create and design a character concept, and be so proud of it, then it becomes this. I feel for the concept artists 😭

[@thetickcartoon1453]

Imagine being interviewed about this movie: "Which character did you play?" "Cat with a Gun" "And... what sort of character is he?" "Didn't I just tell you that?"

[@gasterthemaster6490]

"What defines him?" "He sounds like a discount Jevil"

[@theguythatasked6400]

@@gasterthemaster6490 I WILL SHOOT EVERYTHING

[@thelazygamer2195]

“You sir, are a monster.” “No, I just didn’t get enough sleep.” *This is genuinely accurate.*

[@pleasesnapmyneckmommy3048]

Kayaba Akihito would agree (the abridged version, obviously)

[@chimanruler15]

Gaara from the Naruto anime series would also agree, lol!

[@Imamotherfreakingavocado]

And somehow Pinocchio being straight is still the biggest plot twist of this movie

[@brridk9296]

i love (/s) how the entire base of half of the internet hating this show is because they associated his feminine voice acting with just being gay an like. that’s the only joke made

[@nickkohlmann]

@@brridk9296 It does? Did we just watch the same video?

[@starsiadraws]

@@brridk9296 I don't think the problem is his voice sounding stereotypically gay, but the fact that it feels like the actors are just regular ass people trying to read lines for their high school play-

[@broadex9080]

@@starsiadraws nearly 50 percent of my lines sound like I just learned how to read and you got a problem with me being in this movie?

[@CatPawLover]

Maybe theres a reason his wood never stretched during the movie..

[@doIIfacee]

Can we not forget about that beautiful line that Pinocchio made? “Ugh, father, when can I leave to be on my owN😩.”

[@testedcatgaming7714]

It's legendary

[@HunterLupino72]

He’s got the whole Worldussy

[@alexgelman6515]

Hey, so uh, you probably didn't know, but this story isn't actually based on Pinocchio. It's based on the Russian version "Buratino" that was made when outside content wasn't allowed in Russia, the Soviet Union, or something. The story starts making more sense when you know that, because in Buratino there WAS a blue-haired girl, a talking cat with guns, and a talking fox. The main focus of Buratino was also the gold coins, so that makes sense... Oh, and the author of Buratino had to change the stretchy nose thing, so that's sort of redeeming. The story is more understandable when you know Buratino, maybe you should check it out. Also, I am not defending this movie, it's just that nobody knows about this, and I think it's important to know before criticizing the movie's plot, thank yew.

[@icheeva1]

Ah but is it accurate to Buratino? Is there a talking horse in that? I'm curious

[@Moonlesssky7]

@@icheeva1 no. It’s also not so accurate to Buratino, and they’re was no talking horse. It’s truly amalgam of Buratino (most part) and Pinocchio, and something that scriptwriters made up

[@ClockworkChandelure]

I want to say one thing- the blue haired girl (aka how the Blue Fairy was *actually* supposed to look like, not some random blond chick in a blue dress smh), talking fox and talking cat were present in the original italian book as well. The title "buratino" is also really funny as a native italian speaker since burattino means puppet in italian.

[@Moonlesssky7]

@@ClockworkChandelure Well, I think that because of this Buratino in Soviet version called like this, because of this translation. For soviet children it's just a name, but still have some meaning

[@smallbrain9782]

Yer wellcum

[@AzraelEntertainment]

As a Russian, I can admit: we are incredibly ashamed of the subpar projects that our cinema fund sponsors, while actually inspired film students have little to no chance of bringing vision of some quality cinema to the world:/

[@SlapstickGenius23]

Russian cinema sadly has had its day.

[@minhnhut665]

May I ask how’s the state of the Russian film industry these days? I heard by some people that it is not good, but didn’t know how bad

[@LeSarthois]

Especially shameful when you get to see the masterpieces that were produced during the Soviet era. Even something simple and "popular" like Nu Pogodi has more care put in it (except the post-Soviet episodes :D ) Rikki Tikki Tavi and Mowgli have amazing, bright and so different art; Fantadroms is... okay, just really weird XD but the character is original. (Not Russian here BTW, I'm just admiring and aknowledging talent wherever it comes from)

[@a.g9586]

@@minhnhut665 if you think American remakes are bad just look at Russian remakes of anything. They're not worth even horse shit

[@joshuamoody7729]

That’s a real shame.

[@M0M3NT1M0R1]

I’ve been so terrified to the actual movie release that I forgot that is *was* going to be released-

[@PotaraGuy]

@Ben Shut up.

[@ihatelife5464]

Here comes the bots coming from the dark.

[@Anmatgreen]

Honestly, I feel like this is supposed to have been an adaptation of "Buratino", which itself is a Russian adaptation of Pinocchio. And it differs quite a bit. Firstly, Gepetto is a super minor character who shows up only for one scene. He comes to his friend Papa Karlo and give him a piece of wood. Papa Karlo, I'm turn, carves a wooden doll out of it, which becomes Buratino. Papa Karlo then gives Buratino a schoolbook (or some money to buy one, I don't remember anymore, tbh, it's been almost 10 years since I watched it), and sends him to school. On his way Buratino walks across town, comes across a circus, and in his wise-ass 1 day old brain, he decided to instead spend the money on a ticket to see the circus. There the puppet master named Karabas Barabas spots Buratino in the crowd, and decides he wants him for his circus, since technically Buratino is a puppet. There Buratino meets Malvina (the blue haired puppet), and a couple other characters, including a depressed clown who's name I don't remember. Buratino eventually escapes the circus, and runs into two beggars/scammers named Basilio and Alisa who are, respectively, you guessed it - a cat and a fox. They trick Buratino into believing that if you "plant" gold coins on a specific field, they'll grow into a money tree with hundreds of coins. Once Buratino "plants" the coins and leaves, Basilio and Alisa instantly dig up the coins and pocket them for themselves. I don't remember what happens for the rest of the movie, except that eventually all the circus puppets run away from Karabas Barabas, join Buratino, they find a key that opens a secret door in Papa Karlo's house that leads to a dungeon full of treasure, blah blah blah, happy end.

[@cameronbosch1213]

So they took bits and pieces of both Buratino & Pinocchio but made the result WORSE? Not surprised.

[@Ang3lBr3adBask3t]

Also the fact that one of the actors of Buratino voice acted in this movie is…..okay.

[@rosykindbunny1313]

This made me realize that the stupid stop motion Pinocchio Christmas movie was based on Buratino in a way

[@honk1934]

People deserve to demand better out of the media, seeing such low quality content pisses me off and seeing people actually caring about it makes me even angrier, in a disappointing way

[@jadeholdsworth140]

@purple X what is this A Rick roll? Edit: ok not a Rick roll nice

[@n0m4nic]

Watch Tickles the Clown on Tubi. Only then can you truly talk about low quality content.

[@Zeo1Thousand]

Bro, for real! When the first trailer for the Sonic live action move dropped, everyone and their mom critiqued the design and the studio delayed the movie to fix his design. They had the resources to do it right. I just don't know why they half-assed it the first time

[@kieranstark7213]

Part of why the media completely ruins the world about as much as possible in the control of the world owners aka the 0.000000000001% (Klaus Schwab, Larry Fink, Marc van Ranst and yes, even the most beloved Royal Family) is because they undeservedly hated Jennette McCurdy so they could make her annoying characters in Nickelodoen shows/movies (especially Sam Puckett), Dan Schneider, Ariana Grande and the rest of Nickelodeon sound like what she should’ve been a lot more like the whole time, but while I heard that the latter supported BTS from cyberbullies who think Halsey and Cardi B. would do the same thing, I never heard anyone talk about Jennette being a BTS stan, or someone who at least respects her. It’s like they want to see Jennette fail even though she was unproblematic, especially nowadays when she spoke out against her abusers in favour of the Hollywood/Nickelodeon victims! In fact, I feel like without Hollywood and Nickelodeon and Lionsgate and so forth, we wouldn’t have had so much low quality animation and never funny comedy shows/movies!

[@billcipher8645]

I see but I'm kind of part of the problem being Warrior Cats fan lol it's my guilty pleasure, I'm aware how terrible some books are but can't stop reading and enjoy it I don't think enjoying bad media is the problem in itself rather no one saying it's bad out loud, media which is bad on pirpose usually doesn't get "guilty enjoyers" since it's pretty clear when that happens

[@ajtheva6694]

As a voice actor myself... this voice acting is so embarrassing and a good lesson on how NOT to voice act.

[@ainsleyharriot6060]

Personally the voice acting is what made this movie so bad that it's good

[@yokaibuster6754]

It’s weird. Like the main character is voiced by the guy who played the cheese guy in the Goofy movie. I think his performance there was pretty good. Here, what happened?

[@allenmurallo3730]

@@yokaibuster6754 Probably was there on the day.

[@skully5771]

@@yokaibuster6754 even tom Kenny was good.

[@dicedoom7162]

lol you are a VA? show me your work.

[@rinibunny4576]

Best parts: “It’s just me” “Byyye daddeeee” “Skadee skadee skadee” “Yes tiblet🙄 I have a most special and treasure dream” “Your a fine example tiblet” “I’m a boy and I’m ALIVE” - Every time he refers to a girl - when he was promising his horse daddy he would be a good son - his singing segment

[@spiritofthewolf1880]

I don't want to be that guy but the horse's name is Tibalt, not tiblet. 😂

[@facefucker7923]

AHAHAH 😭✋

[@Xxxfallen_angelxxX]

And also this one "I'm made of high quality MATERIAL"

[@teddythefreggy2053]

Come on Tiblet, great adventures aWaIt

[@SupremeLeaderKimJong-un]

Pinocchio not even reacting what so ever to the gun being pointed at him is such NPC energy...I love it And after her rejecting him...Pinocchio got even fruitier than before

[@draum8103]

Well he literally asked the horse 'can you be my Daddy!?' so that should tell you where his preferences are.

[@deliasaldana6850]

Dang he fruity

[@Ardorstorm]

They should've just given him a male love interest ong it would've made the whole film better... Not good... but better

[@aironi2391]

@@Ardorstorm don't forget it was made in Russia, a country where you can go to jail by being gay

[@Ardorstorm]

@@aironi2391 L get better krill issue

[@gklb_2xx7]

I showed the trailer to my sister and she was disgusted by it. I teased her with it. Not anymore. Still nice that I could do it. *Also, no one can do the ✨ worldussy ✨ line as good as Pinocchio*

[@skully5771]

And the thank you daddy line

[@roxassora2706]

Your sister is a homophobic queen */j*

[@BoiledRiceCake]

DEESKDEESKDEESKDEE

[@blyat8832]

wait he actually said "worldussy?" I thought that was a meme

[@me-tj5vr]

@@blyat8832 he said world to see but it sounds like worldussy

[@NoodleLad_productions]

Fun fact, the voice actor who plays pinnochio also plays one of Max's friends in the goofy movie the one with the cheese spray

[@gracekim1998]

Oh wow

[@anvakathazit1102]

CHHHEEEEEDAAAAAAA

[@awkwardorangedrawz5914]

Oh, dang.

[@cmc147]

bobby zimuruski

[@birb.lma0]

I FUCKING KNEW I RECOGNIZED THAT VOICE FROM SOMEWHERE MY BOI BOBBY 😭

[@V9incent]

I can actually explain the Cat and Fox thing along with the blue-heared girl and the poor composition issue - it was made in Russia. First of all - in Soviet Russia there was a long standing tradition of "translating" fantasy books into fairy-tales. The trick is - the translation was made by the professional writers, who got the gist of the original, but then - came-up with their own stuff. This is how the girl Malvina was born, as well as the Fox named Alice and the cat named Basil who work for the circus master. As for the poor compositioning - it's because of the specific Russian animation pipeline. You see - animation is expensive. So the only entity that can sponsor it in Russia is the government, but you have to please the local government people into convincing them, that you are making something great. And usually it happens during the storyboard stage, when you draw some nice 2-D pictures that showcase the environments and characters. Problem is - in order to please the government people - you have to dazzle them with details. And as you do - they keep strict watch, so that the end result would look same as the storyboards. And if you try to blur it - they get pissed off, since "We never agreed on that - make sure ALL THE MONEY are visible". Thus - you get that shit.

[@kat4923]

Honestly the only thing that I didn't find strange were the cat and the fox, as they are present in the original Pinocchio book too.

[@reasyrandom]

@@kat4923 Plus, they're the only ones who look somewhat decent. (Even if they look like bootleg Nick Wilde and Talking Tom respectively)

[@goranisacson2502]

OH. So you basically have to make story boards that more or less look like finalized drawings, and then stick to that exact look throughout the whole process? No chance of making something experimental or maybe try a less detailed style that is far better for creating more fluid and lively animation? I also presume it can't look too "cartoony" either, since that's not as impressive or detailed, so the end result becomes this stiff detail-filled look that might make for good-looking stills, but unimpressive as far as actual animation and style goes? Just because that's the only style that the money-people approve of?

[@V9incent]

@@goranisacson2502 Not really. After a certain point you reach the execution stage when all bets are off and you have to stick with what you agreed upon - that's how feature-length cartoons have consistent styles all the way. Too much freedom may turn your picture chaotic, while not enough freedom makes it look stiff. But the problem is different here. The problem is - the desision-makers who greenlight stuff are not creative people. They are government people. AKA - People of no vision. So if you show them storyboards that are not detailed enough - they will tell you to take a hike. Therefore - the storyboards and especially - CONCEPT ART - have to be dazzling in order to be greenlit. And since we're talking about Russia, where after the fall of the USSR everyone seeks to rip everyone off - they are afraid the animators might stiff them by spending less money on the animation itself and keeping most of it to themselves (Russia has a long and proud history of such practice). Therefore - everyone makes sure the end result is just as dazzling as the concept art. So you see the problem: the government people are more concerned about not being stiffed, rather than about having a non-headake educing cartoon 😉

[@vglycorpse]

Damn, so once a team shows some 2d art and storyboards, they barely have any creative freedom after that? That really sucks.

[@PeaceandPuzzles]

That scene where Pinocchio gets shot, besides being hilarious, is so weirdly animated. Like if he got shot by a blunderbuss at point blank range, he should go flying backwards at breakneck speed. But he just sort of slowly goes out of frame? It's like they actually over-animated it, there's too many frames so the motion feels gentle and slow. They did that for the bullet too, you can actually see it's ENTIRE journey across the screen! I don't understand why they did that because that's genuinely more work than just doing maybe five to ten frames: impact, halfway off screen, fully off screen, done. It's so odd.

[@draum8103]

Maybe they slowed it because they really wanted to make sure the audience understood that a bullet was flying towards and going to KILL Pinocchio with a shot directly through the chest lol.

[@cameronbosch1213]

@@draum8103 The slow movement could work, but with this mess of a story, nope.

[@draum8103]

@@cameronbosch1213 Well, I was disappointed when he wasn't killed. The cat should have aimed at his head and blown it right off, these Pinocchio movies are all annoying.

[@SiRenfield]

del Toro!Pinocchio: I can’t die! 😃 Rabbit: We know

[@sS0O0L]

i love how when the cat shoots pinnochio the girl literally said "oh, what have you done? you killed him." like, super calm. Then he just wakes up and she stop talking the rest of the scene, just staring at him with *no expression* until he gets away casually. WHAT WAS THIS SCENE???

[@facefucker7923]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭✋

[@draum8103]

Also the fox and cat tell Pinocchio he has to go hit on the blue-haired girl to prove he's a real boy, so he brings her flowers and she's like 'Pinocchio, get the fuck out of here!' lmaoo

[@sS0O0L]

@@draum8103 LMAO

[@katsushi2329]

and then Pinocchio wakes up and is like "i think im okay 🙂"

[@draum8103]

@@katsushi2329 he's like the terminator, that cat shot him at least twice in the movie and he fell to his death in a giant fire, yet he still survived, unfortunately.

[@nightmare_eyes430]

The problem is that the story is a weird remix of Buratino, which was a Soviet cartoon based on a book by Aleksey Tolstoy, and Buratino is actually really good ( and there's a live action with BANGER songs) , BUT it's good because there is a cohesive story, while this one is a mash up nightmare with horrible voice acting 😆 not to mention that Buratino has a very cute and old times Soviet styled visuals, while this one brings me to tears. Sad tears. ( oh also, this Pinocchio's nose isn't growing because neither does the Buratino's)

[@mizumafusotrue]

Buratino! I used to watch that movie a lot as a kid, the main song of the movie is really catchy and memorable (to me at least).

[@nightmare_eyes430]

@@mizumafusotrue ikr?! All the songs are such bangers, like ridiculously so.

[@zuppadilatte7376]

Dude?? The original Pinocchio book was written by Collodi originally published in february 1883, it's not a Russian story lmao

[@nightmare_eyes430]

@@zuppadilatte7376 Oh no, I don't mean the Pinocchio book. I mean the book that was inspired by Pinocchio's story, Tolstoy's Buratino. Honestly, apart for the beginning (old man makes a wooden boy that somehow comes to life) the similarities end there. But it's definitely inspired by Pinocchio.

[@angry_quetzalcoatl4032]

@@zuppadilatte7376 They’re talking about Buratino, not Pinocchio dude 💀💀💀

[@flukefantasy]

My favorite part of this movie is when the girl's hair physics inexplicably changes entirely in one scene and turns back later like nothing happened

[@mayhair]

That'a the scene where Bella says to Pinocchio, "you're a great guy". And not even a minute later: "I don't even like you!" Top drama.

[@williek08472]

Saber: “This is the first of, like, four Pinocchio films coming out, and probably the worst.” Disney: Hold my root beer.

[@ethanthomsen3973]

Trust me that one's bad for a different reason, this is on a whole nother level, don't know what, but it's not a good level

[@jakey14344]

Guillermo del Toro: I'm the best one. At least my movie had SpongeBob as Mussolini.

[@tamsuemomwife]

⁠@@jakey14344and is not made after I do 10 lines of cracks, drink 300 litres of beer, eat 50 coffee beans, and thank LSD, but, come on, pro hitter SpongeBob :) (In all seriousness, that was probably the best)

[@HolyApplebutter]

10:36 I'm glad to see the Neighbor from "Hello Neighbor" doing movie gigs these days. Goes to show how much you can get done with your life if you stop lounging around and building magical bullshit contraptions in your home. Truly inspirational.

[@WildArtistsl]

Oh no no no that man has suffered to much

[@daydream5120]

And now I can’t unsee it

[@kiidcharlo]

Lol the voice acting in this film is simply outstanding.

[@bearerofbadnews1375]

It’s almost like the Ghost Stories English dub. Or Neo Yokio’s dub.

[@ankylosaur4724]

It's getting close to Michigan: Report From Hell levels of voice acting.

[@The_Renegade07]

Fr. This is Avengers level acting.

[@siluriantides]

✨Father✨ when can I leave to be on my ownnnn? 😩

[@TheSkittlesmcgee]

It's 100% because the original voice acting was in Russian and they had to match the mouth movements.

[@kiaraw.1436]

I was telling my sister the story of the movie and she interrupted me saying, "So Gepetto gave the Fairy a wand and she gave him a boy. (¬‿¬)" And now I can't stop thinking about it...

[@madhumadhu-pb2yz]

Yes

[@redpanda6497]

Nooo......

[@redpanda6497]

@Melc Sv 🔞👇 Please, get out and go breed with yourself.

[@bakedpotato5037]

Wait no-

[@OliverrOil]

Bruh the fact the bot comment kinda lines up with what I presume you mean tho-

[@akospokguyerek818]

The cat and the fox are essentially every Chaotic Neutral player's character in every Tabletop RPG LOL, love it.

[@unfollowtheinstructions6360]

the sheer comedic timing of Pinocchio being shot and flying off screen and then an ad playing

[@C0UR13R_FNV]

Pinocchio getting shot at is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen

[@Devious-Venom]

@ok what's here? Your dad?

[@a-s-greig]

@@Devious-Venom no. 😔

[@cintronproductions9430]

Dude didn't even react as Italian Talking Tom pulled out a fricking blunderbuss on him, LOL.

[@siluriantides]

"Sentences I never thought I'd read in 2022" for 800, please

[@SieMiezekatze]

A wooden boy!!! He shoots him

[@chaoticcordi]

Seeing the trailer for this movie, I genuinely thought it was some straight to disc movie made in the early 2000s that I'd find at my local library,

[@fatherpucci8170]

Speak of 2000 disc movie I get flashbacks of pinocchio 3000.

[@JeremyBX]

8:35 historical saberspark moment imo The way he breaks after saying "based" broke me as well

[@wilsonjonah]

I was drinking Dr Pepper while he was saying that and I just about shot it out of my nose, I was laughing so hard xD

[@nightingalerose1790]

Solved the “plot” Magic is illegal due to the increase of robbing people describe the cat and fox as sentient toys. The investigator were at Pinocchio’s house because they heard that the fairy was in the area. They pin Pinocchio as the robber because he’s a sentient toy…

[@lampylightbulb]

Perfect

[@thefancybarbieharlequin]

Genius retelling my dude

[@moodycowcrafts4862]

One of my issues is how hard it is to even tell Pinocchio is even a puppet. There are no joints - barely any wood grain visible - his features look just like regular people - like what's even making him a puppet at this point?

[@inkywright]

Saber breaking down into laughter so hard about the cat trying to shoot Pinocchio throughout the movie is the greatest thing I've ever seen in a review

[@angelramirez5411]

That cat stays strapped

[@inkywright]

@@angelramirez5411 lol yeah it's kinda insane

[@DiegoHernandez-xt2su]

Pinocchio (1940): an animated classic movie with heartwarming emotional and fun. Pinocchio A True Story: it randomly exists…..

[@KODSKI]

Imagine if the movie was released in theatres we gonna need some safety warnings

[@PotaraGuy]

@Ben Shut up.

[@mariajimenafigueroa233]

Poor, Reef Having his comment replied by bots

[@AmberCommentsThings]

They'll need to pay the audience to not leave the bloody theatre with their heads in their hands

[@shinyagumon7015]

The biggest gripe I have with this movie (besides the Voice Acting of course) is that Pinocchio doesn't even look like a Puppet! Maybe it's because the movie has this cheap looking cartoony artstyle but Pinocchio doesn't look any different from any of the other human characters except for maybe a subtle wood texture.

[@crystalnae3122]

Yea..fucking Pinocchio doesn't look like a puppet lol

[@caucasoidape8838]

He looks like a plastic boy with a wood texture.

[@cintronproductions9430]

Is it just me or are invisible replies a common problem nowadays?

[@qsd5413]

@@cintronproductions9430 I thought it was just me

[@siluriantides]

Maybe he bleeds out splinters.

[@GamingIndominus]

I love the fact that Saber just breaks down in laughter very subtly and slowly at 8:42, this unintentionally made my day. Thank you Saber, for unintentionally making my day.

[@elrondriel]

Your laughter halfway through is so infectious xD I love that the memes and the awfulness of this film can bring us all together lol

[@genyakozlov1316]

7:07 Considering it's Russian, it's definitely based on Buratino, the Russian retelling of Pinocchio, and that story is about puppets escaping the circus run by a tyrannical puppet master and opening their own circus without it, no fairies or growing nose and no one turns into a human. However, this movie isn't accurate to that book either. There's no cricket, the blue haired girl isn't a doll, and there was no talking horse.

[@ulianaredfeather]

and pierrot doesn't make any appereance :( what a shame. he was a funky guy

[@davidpopolizio3781]

the cats character is consistent. I fuckkng lost it at "the cat freaks out, throws FIRE at the tent." dude chooses violence every time

[@kendra_t]

very on brand for a cat

[@cintronproductions9430]

Dude clearly has issues, his reaction to seeing a talking puppet is to shoot him with a flintlock with no hesitation whatsoever, like, why is he so suprised at seeing a talking puppet? He's a talking cat! XD

[@siluriantides]

A-A WOODEN BOY?! AAAAH

[@bellebonebag8096]

@@cintronproductions9430 Pfffff

[@CoingamerFL]

I loved the part where pinnochio pulled out the worldussy to kill the villain Edit: how did i misspell villain

[@allenmurallo3730]

I likes the part where Pinnochio does a little scat noise as he jumps on the horse when he leaves his father's home.

[@aihoshinoirl]

Lmao

[@Maukiki]

i likethe part when the cat pulled out the gunussy

[@relayouter]

@@allenmurallo3730 SKIDEE SKIDEE SKIDEE

[@elorapawdiusducktalesoc]

@don't be surprised really a bot

[@exudeku]

Saber calling the cat "based" and dying laughing filled my day lmao

[@goufr3540]

This is the literal definition of a straight to DVD $5 bargain bin at Wal-Mart movie.

[@Imperviousdragon]

It should be less then $5 and this movie is worst

[@kgrfirdjy]

This one is more like a straight to drink coaster movie. The movie is so bad they should have to pay us to watch their schlock and no, we will NOT accept rubles.

[@toocutenoirb.4278]

Aye Felix the Cat is in the bin and He is a Cartoon Gem. Don't put them in the same bin 🤣🤣🤣

[@foisopracurtir6389]

The thing said 2 replies, but when I clicked in that, showed 3

[@prolibertate4924]

@@Imperviousdragon Foodfight! is still worse. I don’t think I’ve seen anything worse than that atrocity.

[@trashboxbobylev9900]

This film manages to do the unthinkable: it butchers the plot of both original Pinocchio and Soviet book adaptation and then mashes the corpses into something abysmal and boring.

[@kylewoodson]

Yeah, it's like they tried to combine the Disney version, with the book version, and maybe this other version of Pinocchio in Russia, and completely make dog shit

[@realswobby]

If the result would be at least a bit creepy (mashing corpses together), maybe I would watch it 😂

[@egglesbagles9833]

I like when he goes into explaining the motion effects in films, it really shows that Saber spark knows what he's talking about when he's reviewing.

[@egglesbagles9833]

@Melc Sv 🔞👇 Be gone bot. Do not soil my comment with your foul advertising.

[@indigosteel5702]

I once had an idea for a story where Pinocchio is an adult golem created by a Jewish Geppetto out of grief over the recent death of his own son. The "Blue Fairy" is the Angel of Life (counterpart to the Angel of Death, of course) who appears after Pinocchio animates, explaining that he can never truly have life or the rewards that come with it. Therefore, she makes a pact with him: Battle supernatural evil for a time, in exchange for "True Life" and a complete soul.

[@jorgesagredo1186]

I want to see this class of movie

[@BurnPL]

To some extent it sounds similar to Guillermo Del Torro's Pinocchio.

[@onibeebee]

im still bitter that like after LITERALLY NOTHING FOR DECADES, its only when guillermo del toro releases the date of his years long passion project and suddenly we are INUNDATED with pinocchio after pincchio tbh im convinced its some bizarre conspiracy theory, its just bonkers timing otherwise

[@autumnmusic22]

Yeah I'd been waiting for Guillermo's film and then they pull this shit, they are so annoying

[@jp9707]

I assumed it had something to do with copyright expiring and companies suddenly not having to pay to use the name Pinnochio (I don't know if that's true, or how copyright works, or if copyright is even the word I'm looking for, I'm just guessing). Kind of like what is happening with Star Wars at the moment, everybody is suddenly making Star Wars video games, and it's something to do with the rights.

[@onibeebee]

@@jp9707 the pinocchio story is from the 1800's, its public domain rn. they haven't had to pay for the rights to use the original story for decades now. It would be different if it were a direct recreation of another creation however, which is why disney is releasing a live action version of their 50's movie, in order to refresh the copyright and make more money star wars is not the same, it's just different groups of people paying whoever owns the specific star wars property in order to make games functioning in that world. you are correct that it is something to do with the rights, but it's basically people paying to use that property for a specific game, not a specific degredation of the rights which def isn't going to happen if disney can stop it

[@draum8103]

I think what happened is they heard Del Toro was going to make a Pinocchio, and the other directors/studios were like 'oh crap! Hurry up and make a Pinocchio movie first!!' trying to beat him, so they rushed them and made them terrible.

[@onibeebee]

@@draum8103 honestly it was probably more because disney is doing the remake then because del tero's making one, given how all of them are leaning into the classic child friendly version and not into the original italian like del toro is going to be doing but i do think that disney intentionally decided to do this at the same time as del toro because that's exactly the kind of thing they would do

[@MacabreMole]

The cat needs to learn some gun safety. Boy was pointing that shit at people with his booger picker firmly on the trigger and just waving it around.

[@Ereh_Ereh]

LMAOOO

[@genericname2747]

This movie was actually an elaborate PSA about gun safety

[@kittyeyes5513]

Pinocchio is so fruity I wouldn't be surprised if he was made with the wood from an apple tree.

[@cakedUraniumMuffin]

😂🤣😂

[@siluriantides]

LMAO

[@rockhistoria2537]

He was made from the 🍑 tree

[@merrittanimation7721]

Perhaps hand entire orchard of fruit trees

[@__-fm5cz]

In the book, Pinocchio is made from the trunk of a cherry tree! 💅

[@galvanizeddreamer2051]

"Pinocchio: A True Story," as a title, gives the same vibes as "The Legend of the Titanic." They also have similar production qualities.

[@moonink3d420]

OKAY SO. Judging by all of the elements present in this movie, this is based on the Russian version “Buratino”, written in the 1800s? I think? It’s really different from Pinocchio, and the story is honestly interesting and compelling, and I would love to see a modern retelling of it. That being said, this movie is stupid and lazy :)

[@Moonlesssky7]

In 1936, 53 years after Pinocchio

[@facefucker7923]

@Melc Sv 🔞👇 bro this is KZbin!! Do that somewhere else

[@facefucker7923]

@Melc Sv 🔞👇 get a life

[@luckysours8397]

Yeah you found that out all on your own intuition

[@isloel47513]

That makes it even worse, they could have taken a lesser known fairy tale and brought it to a wider audience and instead they butcher it

[@anyanP]

One thing: when you were talking about company making the movie, you showed the wrong logo. The one you were showing in your video is not studio’s logo, it’s Cinema Fund Russia - russian government organisation that provides funding for russian cinema. Yes, this thing HAD GOVERNMENT FUNDING. As for Lionsgate involvement, I don’t think they “commissioned” the movie. My best guess - they bought distributing rights for outside of Russia, might be partially funding it.

[@Carp6969]

Russian government also once funded a movie based on popular Russian bloggers and it was just as bad, if not worse

[@AndrewayAbandoned]

@@Carp6969 It was awful, mainly the story, animation is actually not bad.

[@samzilla567]

This film is the second worst thing that Russia has done this year.

[@anyanP]

@@samzilla567 did you just compare a shitty animated movie to a war and genocide of Ukrainian people THAT IS STILL HAPPENING????? Are you okay buddy?????

[@ericlarrieu-let5757]

He says "It's not so bad it's good, it's just bad." yet I've never seen Saberspark laugh this much in one video before. At least something good came out of all this.

[@backupmollyverse]

I think is laughing through the pain

[@setsers1]

😂

[@falconeshield]

I swear this movie was created back in the mid 2000s as a response to Shrek, was found after house cleaning, and released today because why not.

[@casualwiifan]

This movie makes me confident as a 14 year old, that I can somehow voice act better than these adults in the movie. (Except Tom Kenny, bless his soul)

[@cartoonsketcher0819]

Same, I'm 14, and I'm thinking about doing voice acting. The movie's voice acting was the confidence boost I needed.

[@laurendaley2503]

Tom Kenny is too good for this movie

[@angel_of_rust]

this feels more like Ghost Stories rather than shit dubbing.

[@exceptionallyriso]

@@angel_of_rust Ghost stories' dubbing honestly made it better

[@LoveMyUnusual]

@@exceptionallyriso "Just fill the hole, hole filler!"

[@TimeBucks]

The trailer was super funny

[@normalnate3447]

Starbucks moment

[@SharkyMcSnarkface]

Worldussy

[@Mutchaa]

I agree

[@MG_Cappy]

Agreed, lol.

[@Yourlocalsoapeater]

Agreed

[@gabby_5820]

Aw damn it. I was actually hoping this would be so-bad-it's-good. But, the trailer with it's femboy pinocchio voice will always have a place in my heart, because the delivery of his infamous line was so horrid but so amazing.

[@LmaoMoni]

I watched it yesterday it’s fucking hilarious

[@Rad-Dude63andathird]

"femboy pinocchio" has me absolutely dying, thank you for that.

[@gabby_5820]

​@@Rad-Dude63andathirdyou are welcome

[@inspector_beyond]

I am Russian and when I saw the "Cinema Fund" logo, I was like: "Wait, wha? How?" So a bit of context. Cinema Fund is a government run organization that funds films. But every movie that's ever came out under this "brand" was a total shit. Every single one of them, no exceptions. Plots are crap, acting is crap, directing is crap, everything is crap. And government funds them with millions of rubles. So my advise for the future - if you'll ever see this logo again, just throw it into "Failure" bin right away without even finishing watching the trailer for the film.

[@FilipinoUltranationalist]

is Cinema Fund Russian????

[@inspector_beyond]

@@FilipinoUltranationalist Фонд Кино (reads like Fond Kino, translates as Cinema Fund) is the cesspit of shitty projects and the makers taking most of the budget money. Also infamous of trying to copy Holywood formula

[@FilipinoUltranationalist]

@@inspector_beyond do you want to be deployed to ukraine?

[@FilipinoUltranationalist]

@@inspector_beyond are there any good russian films?

[@inspector_beyond]

@@FilipinoUltranationalist there is a lot of good Soviet films and cartoons. As for the modern Russian films, only Major Grom comes in mind (its on Netflix when I last checked. Dont know if they took it down or not.

[@enrih.8581]

"I made the cardinal mistake of having hope" is the best way I've ever seen someone start a video

[@AmberCommentsThings]

This isn't even just made-for-TV bad, it's straight up made-for-commercial bad

[@Konpekikaminari]

"You, sir, are a monster!" *yawn* "no, I just didn't get enough sleep" This... this broke me, what kind of exchange is that?! Did a human even write this dialogue?!?!

[@theguythatasked6400]

I get what their trying to go for, but they don’t even look tired so it’s just completely lost

[@collinmclaren6608]

I actually really appreciate Saber going into technical cinematography principles, being the camera buff I am.

[@n00blol]

Pinocchio: looks likes early Bluesky concept art The dad: looks like a character from a motion capture movie The horse: that's gotta be a stolen asset from a Disney movie I swear The *woman* : looks like a stolen asset from a Japanese cgi movie The fat cat guy thing: everything about the model looks fine except THE FUCKING FACE

[@anonymouslucario285]

Why are you so angry?

[@starpokeheart664]

The horse looks like he belongs in the spirit franchise

[@n00blol]

@@starpokeheart664 or maybe a 2010s disney film

[@n00blol]

@@anonymouslucario285 Pinocchio stole my girlfriend

[@spiderquinnn]

you imitated the voice so perfectly i thought you were just playing the clip

[@husky6732]

I remember when Lionsgate released Alpha and Omega. That was the start of their downfall. The weird thing though, is that the concept art for A&O was actually really good, and if the movie had been done in 2D, the same as the concept art, it might of actually been an incredible movie

[@JargonMadjin]

Even if they changed the art style it's still an awkward movie to sit through

[@dakat5131]

@@JargonMadjin IIRC the art style is the least of the problems with that film. The humor was like they wanted to make it "dirty" but yet they didn't make it "mature" so not really sure who it was meant for. Just for the shock value of pairing cute-sy visuals with taboo?

[@13thKingMu]

So it is in same problem as Delgo where their 2d artwork are really good but they scrapped it and made 3d instead because of 3d were trending

[@Swordsmen99]

Plus it was pitched to have a more serious and mature story so maybe that paired with a decent 2d animation might have saved some of the film

[@skully5771]

@@Swordsmen99 too bad lionsgate had to sh1t with turning it into a kids movie.

[@jobrown95]

They really did the stereotypical “Roma stealing children” trope with the ringleader? In the 21st century?? God damn!

[@SlapstickGenius23]

Gosh, the various Roma stereotypes are mostly gone from the anglophone world for a good major reason; the Romani people are frequently persecuted and do deserve help.

[@zed5287]

Geppetto: “you’re a monster!” Ringmaster: “nah I just didn’t get enough sleep. Peace” Why did I laugh so hard at this..?

[@badulgumm5458]

@Melc Sv 🔞👇 shut up.

[@poweroffriendship2.0]

What bothers me about the film is that there's no Jimini Cricket appeared in the film and all we got is that horse called "Tybalt" as a replacement. In theory, maybe Tybalt actually killed that poor Cricket way before the movie even began. That's a shame! At least Jimini is a better father to Pinnochio than the horse would ever be.

[@Tareltonlives]

To be fair, Jimini is killed off by Pinnochio early in the original 1880s novel and excised entirely in Buratino (the 1930s Russian adaptation)

[@poweroffriendship2.0]

@@Tareltonlives Yeah. Killed off by having Pinocchio throwing a hammer at poor Jimini.

[@lovelytigress227]

The fox and cat’s problem solving abilities are on the same level as me and my friend’s the first time we played dungeons and dragons

[@ride-playerbb2818]

Fun fact: there are actually two english dubs for this movie. One made in Russia, and the one that we know, where they redubbed Pinocchio, Jeppetto, and the horse, but kept everyone else

[@karing5664]

Where can we watch the funny version? I can only find the english dub from Russia and it makes the movie unenjoyable :(

[@unknownvariable9239]

I heard that Pinocchio’s voice actor intentionally gave a fruity performance just to make this movie memeable and not forgotten. I’m not sure if it’s true, but I’d like to believe it is.

[@LendriMujina]

While I don't know if it's the case for Pauly Shore specifically, I do know some actors do that on purpose. Al Pacino, for instance; I remember reading somewhere that he intentionally seeks out roles in bad movies like Jack & Jill so he can ham it up where the audience won't feel like they've *completely* wasted their time. So it's plausible.

[@villalba874]

well it was made in Russia, so police showing up and investigate because things are oddly quiet is as real as it gets.

[@Serithe]

They don't even need to investigate, they just have children rat on their teachers for expressing anti-war sentiments.

[@JamboreeBlackberry]

In one scene, Pinocchio literally called Gepetto “Daddy”

[@siluriantides]

Did he say "Daddy" or ✨Daddy✨? Important distinction here. I feel like Paulie chose the latter 💀

[@bellebonebag8096]

Thank you ✨DADDY✨I knew you wouldn't say no 💖💎💌

[@LOVELYLITTLENOBODY]

The cat pulling out the gun and shooting Pinocchio is by far the most American thing I've seen.

[@jessicaconda4825]

If this was a silent short (as in no voice acting only music and sound effects) maybe ten to fifteen minutes long, It would be gorgeous. The fact the charactes open their mouths and produce sounds is a crime against humanity.

[@Sp1d3rpool91]

The only time that Pinocchio lied is telling us that he’s straight.

[@spinestealer8129]

I mean personality and sexual are separate things, and ik everyone jokes about him having a “fruity” personality, but it’s really just stereotyping 🤨

[@1kanyestan394]

@@spinestealer8129 a lot of stereotypes can be true bru

[@unoriginal2552]

@@spinestealer8129 cope

[@Myuutsuu85]

@@1kanyestan394 But A: They don't have to be and B: You don't need to live up to those sterotypes.

[@Myuutsuu85]

@@unoriginal2552 Shut it.

[@sadisticmaxwell]

possibly the most amazing animated movie ... if it was actually taken srsly

[@kingkrelly1315]

This was better than any Disney or Pixar film since the 90's. Pure fun. We need more of this stuff.