Divorce: Why are fewer marriages ending? - The Global Story podcast, BBC World Service

[@LeonardEarnshaw]

There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; they're all different. What makes one person content might not make another person content. But I've learned that there's always a way to fix things. Five years ago, my wife and I were facing divorce because of problems in our marriage, but we managed to resolve them. It was challenging, but we survived.

[@BruceKnapp-n4q]

I get why what you're saying is important, and I honestly want to be happy as well. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is deep. I really hope she comes back, and I'm fully committed to making it work. We've tried different methods, like therapy, to fix things.

[@LeonardEarnshaw]

Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

[@BruceKnapp-n4q]

Your advice is valued. I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that pursuing this method will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; I deeply yearn for her.

[@LeonardEarnshaw]

I promise you will not regret it

[@IAMAliIbrahim]

No one is perfect. No, you don't get all characters in a single person there are always give & takeaways in a marriage. If someone wants to live a married life learn to compromise. Off course i don't mean that someone should live in an abusive marriage

[@bookmark13]

"30 percent of people regret getting divorced.." I wonder if that's skewed by answers of those who were not the ones who initiated the divorce..

[@soniaramkissoon713]

Fewer marriages are ending because fewer marriages are taking place to begin with. Marriage is not the dream anymore for people.

[@m00secat]

I'm so thankful to be living in a time where I have access to hearing women's voices and perspectives. Thanks for making this!

[@biblia843]

Self-centered and emotionally immature folks were always more likely to get divorced. Now, it’s possible for those same selfish types to obtain sex and companionship without getting married in the first place, so that’ll what they are doing. They’re still participating in unstable relationships, they’ve just removed themselves from marriage statistics.

[@YambouSVG]

You sound bitter

[@davidlincoln4719]

Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, I wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash

[@Margrette6]

Relationships are hard, but I've learned that there's always a way to fix things. Five years ago, my husband and I were facing divorce because of problems in our marriage, but we managed to resolve them. It was challenging, but we survived.

[@marcusbawol6812]

Amazing, I am kind of in a similar situation, how did you handle it?

[@davidlincoln4719]

well not the orthodox way but I was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer

[@marcusbawol6812]

please how can I get in touch with the spiritual adviser?

[@davidlincoln4719]

Her name is Quelani Eileen Freja, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster

[@JoJo-g9v2u]

Marriage is a two way street. It takes two to tango.

[@lotfibouhedjeur]

As a 40-year-old single man, I look around me and see not a single married couple whose life I envy. I wake up to no drama and have the bed all to myself at night. Peace. 😌

[@moqa474]

What about Kids, lotfi?

[@lotfibouhedjeur]

@@moqa474 I don't want them.

[@YambouSVG]

@@moqa474kids are expensive and time consuming

[@Lubby33152]

If that makes you happy, you’re the only one that should have a say about this.

[@Zinnie988]

There used to be a sense dependency on financial and moral support which kept divorce rates low. Back in the day once the children were born and spark fizzled out, couples lived their separate lives, keeping up appearances of being married for the world to see but in reality they pursued their separate interests and ambitions. Those were polite marriages with no major fights. Just man and woman buddies , respectful, with no need to tear, claw down at each other. Quite different today!

[@sunnywintermorning1941]

Yes, screw the children today.

[@blablabroz9772]

Why is there never a man perspective in this subject ? I never understood this ! They talk about divorce but only invite women talk for both parties 😂😂

[@Uns4rmLhr]

🤭

[@Lubby33152]

I think the idea is that usually women take on the role of caretaker, full time parent, and household manager. So mainly men have more to lose when divorced and women have more to gain. My guess it’s not very interesting to hear about how men are feeling sad about missing out on all women provide in a marriage. We’re always more interested in how people overcome challenges to stay together when it costs them more to be in it. This obviously isn’t true of all men nor all marriages. My comment is more geared to the traditional heterosexual relationship where women take on more of the emotional, physical and psychological burden of marriage while men take on the financial burden. It’s why you see fewer older women getting remarried after their husband died while men are much more likely to get remarried within a year of their spouse’s death.

[@Inaknow]

@5:19 as you mentioned in west people who married likeminded have lower tendency to divorce. The same is about arranged marriages. Families know each other, they choose and ask a family who are equal to them in education, culture and wealth. Arranged marriages are not only by force many families function like a dating site, they just introduce their daughters or sons to each other but before that they consider the education, age and …

[@drjagritisingh6569]

Ofcourse dowry,killing daughterin law for having female children,honor killing,,domestic violence, divorce is a taboo in India,majority indian women leave jobs after pregnancy or marriage. People marry in India for social convince like to show off to other people in society that my son does this job ,married within the caste and religion, got so much dowry. As an indian woman, majority arranged marriages are either forced by emotional blackmailing or physical violence. Arranged marriages are fine when actual bride or groom do have a say but in 99 percent case ,arranged marriages are just enforced on children. As a doctor, I find so many unhappy women and sometimes men too ,in marriages in India. People don't go for counselling or to take divorce when it gets toxic.

[@kemalshand2082]

Problem is the inherent closeness of how arranged marriages form i.e. family knows the other person, they can't actually be themselves but have to be the good son/daughter they present to the family means there's always risk of it going wrong. For men the fallout isn't bad because his family will defend him. For women it's much worse and she's forced to "make it work" even if there's abuse. Obviously there's situations where the guy is actually fine, not a mummy's boy, can actually look after himself and not demanding but the risk is higher for women if that's not the case. For men "making it work" means dealing with her nagging or when there's natural mood swings in the month, for women "making it work" means not arguing with him, not exposing his abuse and being constantly aware that societal (and even religious norms) are against her if things are exposed

[@Lubby33152]

There is a good deal of pressure which act like being forced into a marriage or marrying. Especially for women as families sole purpose for their daughters is to provide economical security and grandchildren. Companionship is rarely a reason we give to women in these traditional setups as a reason to marry. Interestingly it’s one I’ve heard over and over given to men in my traditional family to marry. FYI knowing the family doesn’t mean you know anything substantial about the perspective groom/bride. It’s not a guarantee either will be compatible. Women in these setups are pressured to make it work.

[@JanetLClark]

When two (or sometimes more) people decide to get divorced, who keeps the house? In a city like Vancouver, neither can afford to keep it without a mortgage that they can't afford due to the cost of borrowing. Add one more trauma for all concerned, including the children. I like the emerging new marriage where older people get married but they continue to each live in their own housing unit, with a written agreement that each keeps their own property, real and personal, and any increase in value therefor, with no spousal support payable. All the perks of a relationship and you don't have to clean that other person's toilet, literally or figuratively ^^

[@maple1025]

Then you don’t need to get married. You can just keep dating and remain single 😂

[@KidkoroKnan]

It's the done thing that we have perspectives from the one who knows economics like her. Great one! Thanks.

[@nicolarollinson4381]

Divorce is actually incredibly sad unless, there is abuse then, divorce is a must.

[@ART-kp9cn]

Agreed but sometimes two people are just not compatible, even if no abuse is involved. Also different life goals, ambitions etc. Even if two people are decent people, it can be difficult to spend your lives together if you both want different things

[@YambouSVG]

The first time reading comment sounded like … if there is abuse, divorce is not sad 🤔🤨

[@nicolarollinson4381]

@@YambouSVG noo

[@juliemullen365]

Not infidelity then

[@nicolarollinson4381]

@@juliemullen365 having to divorce because of infidelity is still a sad process.I may have to rephrase my oroginal reply 😏😊

[@upendasana7857]

Great to see what Joanna Gosling is up to,she was a great journalist and presenter.We need way more mediation services for all sorts of conflict and family circumstances not only divorce. Mediation services need to be invested in as so much family strife and breakdown could be helped with great mediation support and family support...not saying it will stop divorces that probably need to happen but so many families who dont confront issues or know how to.

[@csn10]

Mediation would help in a few instances, unfortunately, the incentive for marriage in the last 40 years in particular, has been largely financial even as male incomes were approached and eventually surpassed. A common expression I hear now summarizing our state of affairs is: "Men are in love, women are in business". It's a hard thing to unsee, which is why marriage among the western born is unlikely to recover.

[@clivematthews95]

This has been a fascinating listen 🙏🏾💛

[@equalitypeace1695]

Love always leads to pain

[@RogerioLima-c9x]

An important topic for today's reality that should always be discussed. Congratulations Lucy on your report.

[@dienerism]

Lucy, I love your morning news hours. Good journalism.

[@AshiqHussain-tu5dq]

Thanks. Love the way you present this program. And news...God bless you

[@huthayfasalahat6945]

"As a Palestinian man, based on stories around me, I believe that arranged marriages tend to last longer. My advice to men is not to rush into arranged marriages. Instead, try to experience a love story first. I believe there are several reasons why people get divorced. First, many get married at a young age, which means they may not be mature enough to handle the responsibilities of marriage. Second, the difficult economic situation plays a major role. The costs of marriage are high, and after getting married, the man often needs to pay off these expenses while also managing the rising cost of living. When children come into the picture, the financial burden increases even more, which can strain the relationship."

[@mcaslaf]

Of course the divorce rate is falling because marriage rate is falling too. Its not rocket science bruh

[@elipotter369]

I think you will find the divorce rate is a percentage of the number of marriages- it's not a simple total of numbers.

[@Asa-hm5pr]

@@elipotter369thank you Eli! Ive seen the above comment so many times here! People seem not to understand how statistics work.

[@StephRich888]

Fewer marriages ending sounds like a joke!!! A lot of marriages are ending in divorce

[@user-fed-yum]

Your anecdotal observations have no meaning other than in your heart, fewer is in terms of rate, so a lot, whatever number it is you are referring to, can mathematically coexist with a rate of fewer or more.

[@Zinnie988]

A lot more live-in arrangements before marriage and more mindful about why they are getting married. So divorce rates are lower. The marriages that end today are those that went into it very young 18+ 21+ years old and in a rush with rose tinted glasses, idealistic that love is enough. 🤓

[@StephRich888]

@@user-fed-yum it’s statistics I’m going by but of course with your lame username seems like you lack intelligence lol 🤣

[@csn10]

They did say it's in part due to lower marriage rates (down from 16 out of 1000 people to 1.6 from my recollection), and folks marrying at an older age. They should have clarified that since marriages are down 10 fold, whether divorces are down more than 10 fold, but I believe that's what they were implying. I imagine that's correct as higher earners are being more cautious in the last decade, however, there are still a lot of marriages initiated more than a decade ago that are nearing the chopping block due to the incentives.

[@mayeserpeerzada4693]

Looking forward for more such videos. They are truly informative based on survey and facts. Would like to know more on the physical and psychological impact of divorce on the couples afterlife

[@flexdermeister6969]

Reading between the lines here - men should take charge of their own lives and initiate divorce if they're unhappy, now if only family courts were not one-sided... 🤔

[@smallmass]

I like that definition of a successful marriage

[@Uns4rmLhr]

Maybe healthy (separation) for the mind but ❤ every broken Relationship breaks a part of your Heart, i hope people understand this! every phase of your life gives different random feelings, better to choose someone wisely! ignore mistake of others and accept your own! For me only healthy Relationships, i care 💕! no matter if i get Return or I'll consider its like a flurry of favor by me to them. Amen.

[@rabiaali9478]

Thank u for the lovely podcast

[@蓮珠蘇]

Everyone is unique and different. No such a thing for a perfect couple. Just to fix things and communicate. Divorces are not shames for women anymore.

[@Englishwala66]

Most of the arrange marriages are scary in Pakistan but people compromise their whole life in that bond 😢

[@antoniajuanicomulet8369]

If you are unhappily married, first talk. If both still wanting together, do therapy. In my opinion, divorce is when both don t want to be together anymore.

[@mohamedhagro744]

In many countries women take initiative of seeking divorce but actually the reason behind that men tell them they're going to live them in a heaven but after marriage whole promises went out😅

[@Test67457]

Why no men participation in this discussion? I think divorce involves two people😆

[@BBCWorldService]

Click here to subscribe to our channel 👉🏽 bbc.in/3VyyriM

[@moon3173]

the solution to divorce is easy. Just don't get married. there is no point.

[@antoniajuanicomulet8369]

Not always the end IS be alone

[@anil.a4898]

I think we slowly moving towards fewer marriages. Fewer divorces stage is over.

[@mojtabakouhi102]

❤❤ It seems that the mass of the object causes time to slow down, not the speed of the object. For example, if a photon races with a compressed galaxy, both will reach their destination together. In the world of photon, because time is fast, it can move at the speed of light, and in the world of a compact galaxy, because time is slow, it can move at the speed of light. Outside of these two worlds, the speed of photon and the speed of compressed galaxy are equal. Of course, speed increases mass

[@mindtraveller9181]

Two experts, and both are female, very 'objective' from the start.

[@yohanKawinda-j8m]

The majority of same-sex marriages take place in your society, right?

[@sunnywintermorning1941]

12:32 how does divorce affect children? Instead of answering the question, waffle. If, if, if… Just give us the facts! There’s lots of stats. Badly is the honest answer; in the case the vast majority of children.

[@mr.vikrant3583]

Fun fact:- these all three are divorced😂

[@pinkpotatoes9849]

I think if we called prenups engagement contracts, it will sound more sensible and acceptable.

[@kmppnd894]

Not seeing each other focusing on children responsibility

[@shoaibayubi1862]

Incredible topic for nowadays someone better to get ready for that ..

[@eXclusive1]

I think the union of marriage no longer works- seems to beings simply aren’t selfless enough.

[@javiersantos4385]

Are these fine people in the panel happily married?

[@JamesMcGuire-p6g]

Marcellus Knoll

[@crazyant1080]

Divorce is okay when needed, but alimony in the way it is exploited is a scam

[@user-fed-yum]

When you are talking about Kuwait, a divorce results in the man now only having three wives.

[@rich45davis]

Because fewer marriages are happening. Simples.

[@user-fed-yum]

Rate and actuals are two different things. This is why statistics confuses so many of the simples.

[@elipotter369]

I think you may find the rate of divorce is a percentage of the actual number of marriages.

[@Shakedown24Seven]

No if only more aspects of western society adopted these perspectives

[@JohnSmith-ps7hf]

Marriage is like hemorrhoid or the worst job you ever get.

[@AnaMella1X]

Nice video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her...

[@Nancy-i2s]

It's difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let her go. I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.

[@AnaMella1X]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach her.?

[@Nancy-i2s]

Her name is maurice gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex...

[@AnaMella1X]

Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up online. impressive.

[@Whoeverwhateverwhenever]

​@@AnaMella1Xdon't be stupid. It's a scam.

[@Ahmed-ux4np]

Hello teachers i am the prof

[@張玉珍-o6d]

What's fewer marriage ending? Can yiu trll me cos I'm nit English mother tongue

[@kmppnd894]

World problems

[@maneshipocrates2264]

Don't if you can't M!

[@TheTruth-fully]

I blame feminism.

[@huthayfasalahat6945]

Don't get married before 30

[@caffaddict]

How to have a healthy divorce : don't get married

[@StefomRyan]

Rodriguez Mark Clark Carol Taylor Mary

[@IvanildoRoseno-x1e]

😎😎😎😎

[@AnnMorris-z9d]

Robinson Laura Johnson Sandra Walker Jennifer

[@IvanildoRoseno-x1e]

🙏🖖📯🛐💪🙌🤲

[@indoorphine]

divorce rates are falling? what kind of stats is it

[@IvanildoRoseno-x1e]

😆🙂😌😆🙂

[@LatashaGreen-t1o]

Becker Vista

[@IvanildoRoseno-x1e]

😀😂😀

[@IvanildoRoseno-x1e]

🫂💘💐💋💋💋❤️

[@IvanildoRoseno-x1e]

😲🤣😲🤣😲

[@IvanildoRoseno-x1e]

😆🙂🤣😲😂😎

[@IvanildoRoseno-x1e]

😎🤣✌️

[@bagumarwaheeru6315]

Terrible

[@Swissbluemountain]

People today should not getting married. Marriage it’s finished ! Just embrace, live alone , life now too short for more drama .

[@jonespatterson1025]

Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash

[@emmawalters5647]

amazing,i am kinda in a similar situation,how did you handle it?

[@jonespatterson1025]

well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer

[@emmawalters5647]

Please how can i get in touch with the spiritual adviser?

[@jonespatterson1025]

her name is Quelani Eileen Freja, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster

[@jonespatterson1025]

You can look her name up online and you will find all you need.

[@IvanildoRoseno-x1e]

❤️💗💙💜🧡🤎💚