Do I Still Struggle with OCD?

[@Lisa-ir2gz]

i found your channel for the for the first time tonight. i am binge watching your ocd videos. You have me crying. I have never heard anyone else articulate many of the same bizarre and alarming (to put it mildly) thoughts that I have had. Most people do not realize I hace OCD unless i tell them. Even when I do tell them i leave out that my main type of ocd is harm ocd. I leave it out for fear that i would be tossed into the nearest looney bin. i have really been stuggling recently. my ocd also ebbs and flows also..n these last few weeks have been pretty rough. Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story. It really helps. Okay I need to go to sleep before I start obsessing about forgetting to go to work tomorrow...already battled that one earlier this week.

[@user-ko6th4mn9q]

How are you now

[@chiledawgg]

So I’ve been following your channel for a little while now and I’m glad to see you’re still maintaining and doing better :) Interesting update on my ocd; I recently started rekindled a relationship with the first boy I ever dated when I was a teenager. Since he was my first relationship, he was how I first found out about my ROCD, which at the time I didn’t know existed. It was very difficult for me and a big factor in the reason I broke up with him when I was 16. my irrational doubts got the best of me and after a year I couldn’t take the anxiety anymore- my OCD stems from a traumatic memory of child sexual abuse that I had repressed until the age of 14, so it was still pretty fresh when he and I first fell in love. Soooo fast forward to now, I’m 22 and I’ve gotten a pretty good handle over my anxiety/OCD issues. But I noticed little hints of ROCD popping up MERELY because I know I suffered from it in the past. But I’ve come so far because I’m able to accept that the thought is happening, tell myself it’s just irrational and that I really do love him. And within a few minutes I feel better! Back then it used to take hours and would linger so badly. Anyways sorry this was long but I’m happy for you & for myself for growing so much! I’m happy to finally be in love again after a devastating break up two years ago. Much love kaili and thank you for your videos ❤️

[@kaliwallaceart]

you know, it's so funny in a way to look back on things that happened in my life and, now with the understanding i have of OCD, finally put the pieces together when back then i had no idea why i felt compelled to do things a certain way or why things made me uncomfortable. hindsight is 20/20, lol. i'm glad to hear you've gotten a handle on what was going on with you and you have a better understanding now. wishing you guys the best, keep up the good work!

[@devskuf4240]

I’m like the same way... I feel like the shower is like a safe place. Also I convinced myself months ago that I had a disease and I’m still here and nothings happened. It really helps knowing that I’m not alone, with these thoughts. Thanks for a great video!

[@kaliwallaceart]

you're welcome! it's always interesting to hear the experiences others have had!

[@specialjeffreyke]

I'm happy for you! I was 3 years without a major OCD 'attack' but yesterday suddenly had a crash again with harm OCD toughts. Today feeling a bit better again so hoping it was just a episode that will be gone again soon. I know what triggered it and I understand the toughts making it a bit easier to cope with, but it's still scary when those toughts take over.

[@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7ns]

I have sexual OCD. But it’s better!! Wayyy better. I finally feel alive. ERP is the only way. Love and blessings to you all. 🌹

[@beetle6859]

omg i had smth similar with my cat the first years(?) after i adopted them, not with the door but like just leaving them alone in the house with my bedroom door closed (we don't sleep together cause it doesnt work well lol). I was going to check sooo many times to see if they were okay or if they had gotten hurt somehow or if they had gone to the balcony n jumped or something it was very scary

[@kaliwallaceart]

i understand! when i leave the house i feel like i have to check to make sure i've blown out all my candles (even if i didn't light any...), that i've turned off the heater because i don't trust the wiring, that i've closed all the windows, etc. in my mind there are 10000 things that could go wrong and most of them center a around my pets getting hurt or killed when i'm not home or just not available to help them.

[@ficklebuster]

YES! I love your ocd videos (as an ocd sufferer too). Please make a video about how you are doing better :)

[@kaliwallaceart]

thanks! good to know, i will work on that :)

[@dudarosae]

I struggled a lot (and still do) with catastrophic thinking as well. They come in many forms. But I also had the thought that I had contracted HIV more than once, and even though I hadn't really exposed myself to the virus, I just couldn't shake the thought off. The first time this thought ocurred to me, my anxiety got so out of control that I spent entire days just thinking about it, so I had to take a test to get out of that. On the same note, for many many times I thought I was pregnant. I used to take birth control pills and my partner would wear a condom, but I always ended up dead sure I was pregnant, because well, protection can fail. And when my period would finally come? Nope, still pretty sure I was pregnant. Because I had read before that some women could bleed during their pregnancy, so that was probably my case. Definitely was my case. So then I would take a pregnancy test, and it would come out negative (obviously), but I'd think something like "well, what if this test is damaged?" or "what if just there isn't enough HCG in my organism yet, but I'm actually pregnant?" So I'd take a second test. And maybe, if I was lucky, only then, I'd stop worrying so much. But deep down, I was never completely convinced. It didn't matter how many proofs I had that I was not pregnant, I just couldn't bring myself to believe them. This happened so many times thoughout my sexual life, and even though I'm much better at handling that specific thought when it comes nowadays, now and then, I still worry a little bit and get lowkey anxious until my next period. Again, completely without reason, because I never stopped protecting myself, but well, that's just how OCD works, as we know. Anyways. I also gotta say you're looking super gorgeous in this video, and Daisie is absolutely adorable!!!

[@kaliwallaceart]

it's always so interesting to hear when other people have a shared experience of something that seems so obscure, lol. the first time i had an hiv-related freak out was at some point when i was an undergrad. i was maybe 19 or 20 and i was once again then CONVINCED i had it. to be fair i also (a few years later) was able to convince myself i had rabies too, lol. given the right fodder it's amazing where our brains will take us. i have had similar "scares" with pregnancy as well, and for me with the birth control i take i don't get my period, but i just randomly start spotting sometimes. i actually got really nervous the last time i flew back to china from the states because up until then EVERY time i have flown like that i spot for a while after, i think because of the stress traveling puts on my body and also the traveling between time zones makes it difficult to take my birth control consistently. but this time i didn't spot, so i was really scared i was pregnant. took a test, it was negative. like you said, i was like "oh no i bet it's just too early or something." eventually i spotted very lightly randomly, and i was like "oh no this is probably implantation bleeding or something." hahaha. there is no rest for people like us! and thank you! i will tell her she has an admirer, haha:)

[@ztezmaxim2683]

Maybe the child proof latches to prevent kitchen drawers opening would work on your front door. Opens an inch and have to push the latch over to open the rest of the way

[@kaliwallaceart]

i could probably do something like that, but it'd just be something else i'd want to check and worry about, lol

[@maguirebailey3]

your dog is so cute oh my goodness

[@kaliwallaceart]

loll thank you!

[@wonderkaye7340]

how did you did it

[@chinilezepp4850]

I have Harm OCD

[@painthenhope]

My anxiety and OCD helps me really dislike dogs. They are so noisy and intrusive to me.

[@indiee4971]

Try some herbal tea. Herbal tea cured my anxiety to my ocd thoughts. Even when I get bad thoughts there’s no anxiety attached to it. There’s this anxiety tea by cerebral teas tbh it’s a life saver.

[@mexgiova]

You still in China?

[@kaliwallaceart]

yes, i think i said it in the video

[@peterg0]

这个景点不错喔!或许你要来看看..... kzbin.info/www/bejne/bqSxkpKna91paZI

[@kaliwallaceart]

好的！