Do Narcissists Know They’re Narcissists? The Truth Revealed!

[@janberger4057]

Narcissists tend to know who to abuse - and who to NOT abuse. My ex-husband was well behaved with his boss, his co-workers, and people he perceived to have more power.

[@BonnieJean4578]

My sister knew, and tried to behave better with me, but watching her abuse others was painful. She was always the victim I tried to "help" through her life. Then she pushed it with me and I came here and realized that she was a covert narcissist with thrill seeking personality disorder. She checked ALL the boxes, and now that I know who she is I went no contact. I can't stand the way she treats others, including her own adult children. "I never asked you for anything." Yeah. She only complained, whined quilted and shamed and was so annoying she managed to get exactly what she wanted just to make her shut up and go away. Someone she financially destroyed warned me about her years ago, but I did not fully absorb it. I finally did, and radically accepted who she was. No more. Letting go is like the weight of the world is off my shoulders. I have finally have peace. It only took me 5 decades! 🤣

[@RippleDrop.]

@@janberger4057 you got that right

[@My2up2downCastle]

​@@BonnieJean4578 I hear you.....🌹

[@catlady6938]

@@BonnieJean4578 wow they really blindside us don’t they, my ex friend is a covert narcissist it took me 7 years to find out, thankfully I did.

[@incognito595]

@@BonnieJean4578 Congratulations. Your life instantly got way better! My Narc has almost killed me, but I still have a lot of fight left in me.

[@Lultschful]

I've heard it so many times from my father, whenever I'd point out a behavior he has it's "And what about you?" and when I'd tell him the pain he's caused me "Oh you think I'm not suffering too?" He's 78, now and I have zero hope of him changing, as senility is making his behavior even worse. Just waiting for him to die, at this point. As callous as it may sound. He's not happy, anyway, he drew every relative away except me and he's profoundly lonely.

[@DrDanielFox]

It sounds like you’re carrying a heavy burden. It’s tough to watch a loved one struggle and feel trapped in a cycle of pain. Remember to take care of yourself, too.

[@Lultschful]

@@DrDanielFox Tryin'. Thank you, Doc :)

[@janepoppet3843]

ACON here. Your feelings are valid ❤

[@RippleDrop.]

Totally understand you.

[@JusDion]

My mother's around that age, a bit younger and she does not respect people enough to simply hand them something so instead she throws things at ppl. Whether it's her phone, a tv remote, trash etc. At this point I just leave it on the floor 😅 because there no way she thinks ppl should be treated like this. All my life she's been this way. When I was 11 She was mad at someone else and took it out on me by making me walk home from the highway.(4 hour walk) When I finally did get home she behaved as tho it never happened.😅

[@jamesrasmussen2663]

We shouldn't have to learn about these people, I'm sick of their shit.

[@ririimari]

The more you know the more you can identify it and protect yourself

[@matthewishunting]

Bruh I'm right there with ya

[@RippleDrop.]

@@jamesrasmussen2663 we all are. They produce mostly shit and we all know digesting their creations will kill you.

[@RippleDrop.]

@@jamesrasmussen2663 Shit makes people severely ill.

[@melissabrzescinski494]

Same

[@joyshipley706]

I think when their behaviour is pointed out to them inside they probably know but will defend or project it back 🥴

[@DrDanielFox]

You bring up a great point! Many people do have an inner awareness of their behavior, but it can be tough for them to accept it openly.

[@joyshipley706]

@@DrDanielFox which once again goes back to the shame, lack of openly doing self awareness and excuse finding to defend their behaviour 🙂‍↕️

[@mihamim4262]

​@@joyshipley706 could be, but then again...wouldn't then they see that this is damaging behaviour for them? The problem here is, we offten judge this behaviour with our minds, which work differently so we judge it wrong

[@joyshipley706]

@@mihamim4262 I’m talking from 20 years experience with a husband narcissist so dealing with it first hand 😬

[@nugget6635]

​@@mihamim4262They often can see this... But shame is so great they decide to not face it and then lie to themselves.

[@nugget6635]

They often know. But not always... The worst ones are not self aware.

[@paulclinton6414]

They are aware, they love it They love to harm others.

[@incognito595]

@@nugget6635 We keep watching because they never tire of shocking us with what tricks they might pull, and we want to cover all our bases and protect ourselves.

[@leeboriack8054]

Narcissists aren’t in reality and you just can’t expect or hope for them to change.

[@James-mc5hc]

They know they are evil but they do not know they are narcissist.

[@Narc_Hunter]

Proof they're self aware are the lengths they go through to hush and silence the victims!!!

[@mindhealsbody-soul]

😅 yes they do!

[@mariegumpel4955]

exactly..

[@MrTodayistheday]

This is the best description of the narcissistic behavior that I have ever seen. It describes the full cycle.

[@Handlethisss]

My narcissistic ex husband would scam people and I would ask him if he doesn't feel bad and he said he can sleep at night because he actually did them a favor by teaching them a lesson.

[@DrDanielFox]

Glad the video was helpful for you.

[@BonnieJean4578]

@@DrDanielFox My sister financially destroyed her "sugar daddy" that was present in her life as a teen and through her three husbands. He warned me about her after she ruined him. I am NC with her, so I am not telling her what he told me, as he is now deceased. She just demanded and took, and he could never say no. I never told her, but if I did, I can tell you exactly what she would say. "Well, that was his choice." These folks are vicious.

[@veronicakiwanuka247]

😂😂😂😂😂 sorry for laughing

[@incognito595]

@@Handlethisss DESPICABLE.HE'S A NARC, ALL RIGHT! YOU WILL BE DESTROYED IF YOU STAY.

[@littlelittledeer1435]

Wow - I can imagine my ex-narc saying that if it dawned on him.

[@incognito595]

It will be a cold day in Hell before Coverts will admit it or change.They are Not Worth it. RUN.

[@corygall2340]

Why would they go to hell if God created them? It's a mental illness and free will is BS. Its like people don't understand how peoples brains work differently and causes them to act that way. Your god is useless creates the good, the bad and then states that we in fact have freewill if that's the case though everyone could be adolf hitler or ghandi. Hell I can be Charles Manson for Halloween.

[@hopetucker7297]

Yep! Run Forest Run!!

[@ParoArtPixie]

I have narcissistic traits and I am watching videos to remind myself that I can be treated. This helped

[@teresa5007]

According to NPD expert, Dr Ramani, narcissists NEVER change so there’s a bit of food for thought for you. Good luck anyway! 🖖

[@socol76]

@@teresa5007 Professor Sam Vaknin says the same thing.

[@socol76]

But maybe if you just have some of the traits and not full blown NPD you might benefit from therapy

[@76_Red_Pills]

Many people have NPD traits but are not Narcs. That you are even doing the introspection clearly suggests you are not one.

[@paulclinton6414]

Please, self isolate and stay away from humans.

[@ramonaharter6407]

😮. My mom's a grandiose narcissist and everybody at the table just sits there like waiting for her to wipe food off her face and she never notices it's there. I know it was an analogy but that was wild that you said that. It shows turn level my self-awareness

[@DrDanielFox]

Glad the video was helpful. Be well

[@albwilso9]

They are liars too! I know a guy who was that way, because his parents accepted his lies so much, that he learned in childhood/adolescence that his lies were successful, and he could get away with anything with his lies!!! He saw nothing wrong with his lies!!

[@ooolrait]

It so crazy to be able to learn these things for free. Helping out with a like button smash on every video. Thank you, Sir, and greetings from Scandinavia.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for your support! I’m glad you’re finding value in the videos. Greetings to you in Scandinavia!

[@JemmaMeadowsweet]

Thank you Dr. Dan. You are my favorite KZbin psychologist because you are one of the rare clinicians who seem to give me hope that people with personality disorders can confront their negative core beliefs and improve. This was a much needed reminder that shaming and blaming my narcissistic Ex doesn’t help things and they are vulnerable people too. Thank you.

[@RippleDrop.]

@@JemmaMeadowsweet Just make sure your pity isn't stronger than your self respect or care for your well-being and you aren't a master excuse maker.

[@incognito595]

@@RippleDrop. THERE ARE NO EXCUSES. EVER. NEVER.

[@rkn2800]

My 2 eldest brothers demonstrate lots of narcissism and my mom fostered it. Boundaries don’t exist with her relative to them. She had been their enabler and would never scold them for any reason at all, even when they took her bank card and spent her money, did drugs at home, started fights with people at our home. She would never raise her voice with them, but the rest of us kids (7 of us altogether)? She would get on her Holier-than-thou righteous-indignation soap box, and the ʻhow dare you betray me’ with us. As I got older I let her have it out of resentment over years of that behavior and never let her raise her voice at me or treat me different from them ever again. Even let the 2 have as well. They felt shame for being called out, not for their behavior. So, I think that adult narcissists have enablers around them, such as their mom or others, who foster their bad behavior.

[@Dani-lc9hq]

I'm curious if your mum has narcissistic traits as well?

[@rkn2800]

@@Dani-lc9hq Yes, but she would fluctuate between types and even have moments of self-awareness and correct her behavior. She was actually a very sweet lady, I loved her dearly and was her primary caregiver in her last days. She gave the family house to me in the end and it pissed off my 2 eldest to no end. They felt so entitled. 2nd eldest even physically attached me at our home over the issue, but I stood up to him. He’s rather afraid of me now.

[@helder3951]

Maybe she was afraid

[@rkn2800]

@@helder3951 I asked her that point blank once & she put her head down & did not reply.

[@deepaknambisan3251]

Really clear breakdown of core elements (in varying degrees, obviously) of narcissism. This video gave me food for thought, thank you 🙏🏾

[@DrDanielFox]

Glad it was helpful!

[@jasonpizzino7308]

It's easier to avoid narcissists entirely. However, since we all have them as a spouse, siblings, co-workers, bosses, or friends, knowing how to set boundaries with a narcissist is the best decision. That way, you can relate without being affected by their self-centered attitude. So, Here is a Way To Set Boundaries With Narcissists.

[@DrDanielFox]

Some can and some can’t. Vicissitudes of life.

[@shahilagh]

Thank you. I think they have been told. But many don’t care to want to bother about the opinion of people who are affected . Plus humans are great in convincing themselves …..

[@DrDanielFox]

You make a valid point! It's true that many people tend to ignore the opinions of those directly impacted. It's all about raising awareness and encouraging empathy.

[@shahilagh]

@@DrDanielFox absolutely. let me give an example of a strategy .. there is this person at my work who has decision making power and does not bother about the impact of their personal desire on staff . my strategy has been to share the message with powerful channels and confront this person at the edge of their mottos for "empathy" through those channels (e.g., people they r afraid of them for being judged and confronted for their management). however, this person STILL DOES NOT care and will hate me for putting them in a situation that they have to CHANGE their selfish decision. so I am sure this person will not be encouraged to be empathetic only forced. I am not sure in personal relationships like parents-children/ couples if raising awareness will work ... depends in my opinion on how they r dependant on some things from the other person.

[@briandonovan4620]

Probably best explanation ive ever heard of this. Because of my experiences growing up i see some of these behaviors in myself throughout my life. Im 60 now and have begun in the last 3 yrs to become self aware after having a profound awaking only after some intense suffering. I have been doing some shadow work to try to uncover these traits. Its helped me see how they developed in the first place. Im not sure if i wd be described as narcissistic But i wish i cd work with someone like yourself that cd help me navigate this Currently i have been working on deconstructing my ego ,shadow work and have studied differsnt spiritual content such as meditation,yoga Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity and have found all of these practices and comtent very helpful. Having someone like yourself could also be very helpful to understanding all of this I plan on watching more of your videos. Thank you for sharing your knowledge on this. Most of the channels i find about this have not explained it as thoughly as you have.

[@ladyhannahs3245]

A narcissistic person will have several different demons that are controlling them. One of course is the demon of narcissism, the second one is the demon of jezebel, and the third one's the demon of Ahab. All three of these demons coincide with each other to make things as miserable as they can for the person who's spewing the narcissism. Whether you have the ability to leave the situation or not, you need to start saying this prayer: I call upon the Heavenly fathers from the kingdom of heaven in the name of Jesus Christ to cause Mass confusion to come upon the minds of the narcissistic demons who are controlling this person, to make them null and void and no longer have any ability to cause lack of peace and unhappiness in our house, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, Amen❤

[@LuisA-fc3ox]

I agree. I only dated my ex narc for 4 months and caught on to her lies and likely cheating then devaluing early on. I exposed her and left. She is a psychotherapist and talked openly about exorcism but under the guise of trying to help clients who may have been possessed. She claimed to recently had her faith restored and in her previous life dabbled in borderline occultish stuff. I do believe she was possessed and was trying to get help. I couldn’t deal with it and got out asap. I exposed her. I prayed for her deliverance but I’m done. Thank God I got out when I did.

[@kirkstewart-vf6hg]

Absolutely not ! They think you are the Narcissist ...

[@stephaniecorwin6438]

I've heard that, for some, it can be a result of ongoing crisis in childhood and rather than accepting the locus of control is not within them, to cope they make themselves the center of it and develop a narrative that both makes them and explains why they are martyrs/perfect victims.

[@fatio6397]

The Narcissist has certain people that they hide these traits from. These traits need to manifest, and they do, just not in your view. So during the relationship building stage they seek knowledge of your habits. They look for opportunities to manifest who they are but don't want you to see. Others can see it. That's why many times you feel like something isn't right with this individual but you just can't seem to put your finger on it. Narcissist have plenty of help manifesting outside of your field of view. Have you ever had somebody unexpectedly show up, that normally wouldn't show up? Does it feel like they are keeping you involved and almost like you are being babysat? Or kept from just showing up unexpectedly to where the narcissist may be?? 🤔 When something just feels off, it is. Pay attention, because you are being manipulated so the narcissist can manifest who they are and what they do outside of your field of view.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your insights! It’s always valuable to hear from others who understand the complexities of dealing with narcissistic behavior. Your perspective adds so much to the conversation!

[@colmanlong1032]

They know well what they are doing.

[@watchthisusa]

During a recent breakup, I needed to why, what happened? I got immediate support on Social media and KZbin. I was introduced to NPD, I had a reason why, a rabbit hole to go down, I filled in the blanks, I believed the EX had NPD. I now, do not care if she does or doesn’t. It's no longer my business what she thinks, feels does or says. I am not qualified to diagnose anyone, nor are half the people on social media. In fact for me to say she’s narcissist makes me the victim and smears her name, two actions of a narcissist. Only 0.50% of the "general population" has NPD. Because someone displays a couple of NPD symptoms, does not make them a narcissist. A person can be manipulative, gaslight, and act with malevolence and not be a narcissist. I’m gonna proceed in life regardless of any diagnoses. If you’re reading this, I hope you get to a place where it doesn’t matter.

[@marinacabrera8293]

Try this example, The Narc is a chofer in a car with a flat tire and he refuses to stop the car to change it, even though the ride is bumpy as hell and everyone is suffering. He has places to go and people to see, so his agenda is a priority, screw everyone else.

[@sallystuart3454]

Sure wish I knew what narcissism was 60 years ago! I have lived with a husband and a sister ( older) who are covert narks for over 50 years. I think I’m just overly naive or a massakist

[@Yamikaiba123]

Your metaphors are hilarious and accurate.

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@darrynreid4500]

I'm inclined to think it's due to a combination of things: in one case with which I was all too familiar, it seemed to be a distant abrasive father and a doting mother who told him his entire life that he's heaps of special and cannot ever be wrong. What mattered for me was not the diagnostic criteria but a workable explanation of behaviour to inform my decisions, which amounted to: 1. Problems with identity, particularly a need for a single shared identity extending from them to others, like a small child; 2. Everything being oversimplified to extremes, hence relationships being seen in terms of zero-sum dominance games; and 3. It seems there's an odd inability to hold stable concepts of things and people as they undergo state changes. I'm not sure how that fits with the diagnostic criteria - it seems to fit what I understand about borderlines too - but then maybe the B disorders are just different manifestations of a common underlying theme?

[@bethtaylor9773]

I watched this happen when a mother continually enabled her daughter to fail at jobs by joining her daughter in blaming others for job loss after job loss and letting the daughter live with her. So her daugher moved in with her parents 25 years ago and stopped trying to work 20 years ago. The dad died in 2006. The pretense of the daughter then became that she had to care for her mother which wasn't a bit necessary then. Now the mother is 93, and the daughter is actually managing medical, etc. for the mother - and is resentful that she has to do that. Both mother and daughter over the years have played the 'aint it awful' or 'ain't they awful' game continually. The daughter controls the mother's money and 'shares' it with her own kids enabling them. The other daughter cut the financial apron strings decades ago, detached emotionally through Al-Anon, and is very grateful that she did. I'm not sure that that the above is narcissism, but I suspect it's close.

[@DrDanielFox]

It’s interesting to see how family dynamics can play such a significant role in shaping behaviors and responsibilities. It sounds like a complex situation with a lot of emotions involved.

[@divergentmind2023]

I had to watch it twice… understanding that some of my loved ones are that way and it changes everything… if i have tendencies I want to see them and stop them to protect my own kids and it is so liberating to know that… there is hope to change and to deal better with them ❤️

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for taking the time to watch it twice! It means a lot to know that the message resonated with you.

[@divergentmind2023]

@@DrDanielFox your work is especially different because you are, one of the few, who talks about hope and the ability to change, having hope about my situation is all i needed today. Thank you 🙏 Ps I have to watch it a third time 🤭

[@mcawesomest1]

The fact that they won’t hurl narc abuse in front of certain people shows they have some insight on what they are doing

[@NightOwlGames]

they know they been playing psychological games since day 1! every day was fake even the good times were just for show to keep you right where they want you they literally plan how to upset you, when you figure out they playing with you and you stop reacting to their bs now you dont care about them your accused of cheating its a never ending battle! they start a fire then complain about the smoke like its someone elses fault giving us the illusion that they dont see their own actions that brings us to this situation dont start a fire if you cant handle the heat!

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your insights!

[@jackidezell3401]

My mother is still the queen of defense mechanisms. To this day I'm either crazy or nuts, or the thing is my fault for how I see or remember or experience things/her.

[@paulclinton6414]

She is pathetic trash

[@NewJerusalemBaptist.Church]

I became so self aware in psychology I grey rocked my self and stop my narcissism, but now I’m currently trying to be perfect like Jesus.

[@g.3735]

Wow. Explained!! So well. Thank you

[@DrDanielFox]

Glad it was helpful!

[@shawn2350]

My soon to be exwife created a picture book with her therapist on communication with people. I paid for the sessions and then took money out to publish the book. Couples counseling, the Color book and love language only worked well in her favor. I was the only one willing to sit down and reasonable talk. The damage done is more than most could imagine and relate to. I tried with no results and feel bad for her because the self denial and deceit can be a horror show inside a family. Good luck in healing to all involved in this experience, including personality challenged.

[@DrDanielFox]

Sorry to hear about what youve been through I wish you well.

[@larissaopenheart]

Thank you for breaking this down !

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@anikalee9012]

Treatable? Only a little bit. They could have more awareness but no way they cured.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's true that while there may be some treatment options available, the focus should definitely be on increasing awareness and understanding of the condition.

[@annettemoorshead7019]

This guy only has books for BPD displayed while discussing NPD. This will be the first and last video I view from this guy.

[@Chysp010-sd7nt]

You probably have to really understand the difference between alignment and capitulation when treating patients.

[@DrDanielFox]

True.

[@heathersoper6923]

He ticks all the boxes, adding sadism, deception, stealing, lying, perfectionism, Rage, cruelty, says he graduated but submitted a Diploma and says he's done no wrongdoing, denies everything.

[@maryambrose8466]

But how can one socially let them know the truth when you kindly tell them their behaviors are hurtful and they respond that your criticizing them. Nothing is taken in context. They always see it as an attack. Example. Climbing Rainier your roped into the person in front of you and behind you. He could not conceptualize that I was stopping forward movement because the person behind me was stopping.. I could only move as far as the rope allowed between myself and person in front and behind. He thought I was stopping intentionally to hinder progress. Why would I do that? He thought I was a saboteur.. ? That’s how he saw me. No concept that his thoughts about me were not true.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's definitely challenging when communication breaks down like that. It sounds like you were in a tough situation where context was lost. Clear communication is key, especially in high-stress situations like climbing!

[@sunnybein1]

Your opinions and feelings will always be viewed by a Narc as criticism.. because they are a series of automatic defenses to protect themselves from shame..the whole disorder is rooted in shame avoidance.They have zero empathy so don't care about your feelings. I wouldn't ever climb with a Narc for all these reasons and..they are unstable not someone id want help from if my life depended on it.

[@LuvBritTV]

I think it will depend where on the NPD spectrum they are, because they have to want to change. Usually they do not want to look at themselves, they find it easier to blame others. A long process... yes, I'll bet it is! Self awareness is necessary, and most narcissists don't have any. Too vulnerable, too wounded, to go inward.

[@autumnelise801]

Ty for this channel

[@lilfairycupcake]

i have yet to know a single narc that will admit to being a narc, or do they want to fix themselves, ever.

[@DrDanielFox]

They’re out there. All disorders are on a dimension.

[@thewaywardtrio]

I appreciate you!

[@robertthomas6907]

My wife mocked the suggestion that something is wrong with her. The criticism excited her into rage. We are in a divorce without filing so I don’t care wtf she thinks. She accused me of cheating then tried to throw me out, and pay her bills without giving me a divorce. I asked for some proof of this and nothing, not even a suspicious purchase. I told her to pull my phone records, track my phone. Nope she just stuck to gaslighting me, then shifted the blame to something else and even brought up uncontrollably circumstances and 20 years o ago bullshit. She is probably cheating on me or thinking about it. . She is in deep shit because her whole planned failed and divorce numbers fall very well in my favor.

[@My2up2downCastle]

My supposed 'bestie' (she has hundreds, herself) actually and openly admits she WAS jealous of me when we were kids and demonstrated that jealousy by breaking my things, continuously trying hard to make ME jealous etc...... I never realised at the time because I was too busy walking on eggshells at home and had absolutely nothing to be jealous of..... well, guess what..... since another old friend has got in touch, i'm hearing the same belittling passive aggressiveness and feeling just as uncomfortable around them, as a pair, that I did at 5,6,7,8 etc years old........ unfortunately, I now have boundaries so I'm opting out. Taking charge has been very empowering for me as someone suffering with cptsd......and now I feel guilty for being pleased with myself..... well, only a little... 😂

[@happycat0411]

Since narcissism is a personality disorder and personality disorders tend to remain stable over the entire lifetime of the narcissist. After the age of 30 at this is the point where the body and brain stop developing, any mental disorders not treated by this point in time become a permanent part of that individual's personality)!

[@DrDanielFox]

You bring up some important points about the stability of personality disorders. It’s crucial to address these issues early on for better outcomes!

[@Max1power]

I mean, some of us pwNPD do.

[@Anti-Parables]

Certainly! It may be harder for individuals who struggle with a distorted self-image and tend to subconsciously use denial as a coping mechanism may have a harder time seeing that, but what people forget is that this is a *coping mechanism.* It can be managed and improve with deduction. Everyone is capable of self-awareness, no matter who they are or what they have/don't have. As humans, we are all capable of making our own choices and learning to control our reactions. I do not personally have narcissistic personality disorder, but I have met and lived with someone who does. I know that people like this are capable of empathy. A disorder is something you *have,* not *are.* In that case, what you do with it is up to you. A lot of people seem to overlook that.

[@Max1power]

@@Anti-Parables This was a very thoughtful and nuanced response; thank you.

[@Anti-Parables]

@@Max1power Of course. 😊

[@ramonaharter6407]

Do what lol? That was a really good example though of lack of self-awareness. No one would have any idea what part of the video you're referring to

[@victoriaa.993]

He's very clearly answering the question posed in the video's title.

[@CharitySarenasHirosato]

Dr. Fox, what if I come from a dysfunctional family & my dad is the narc. I got to know a person who offered to help. He a sked me why I want to move out? I told him that It has reach a point that my own father is asking the maid to ruin my clothes. So I transferred but even if I don’t go home, still my clothes would have holes in it or get ruined. So I realize that this friend is sabotaging me by continuing what had transpired in my parents place. Even if he went back to the US , he hired someone to continue the evil did. Worst of all this person he hired stole a lot if my personal belongings. When this friend came back from the US. I notice that he even defended the person whom he hired to continue his evil dids.

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm really sorry to hear about what you've been going through. It sounds like a deeply challenging situation, and it’s important to surround yourself with supportive and trustworthy people. Keep focusing on your well-being!

[@ronnie-lynn]

And when you dealing with a drug addict narcissist, I really think that doubles their blinders to there narcissistic traits.

[@DisturbedBurger]

They know they're doing everything right, but they don't know they're flirting with psychosis and insanity (they're not actually doing everything right). The problem is they also don't possess a core sense of self. All they have is a crying one year old in them, and the regard for that one year old is apparent in how they treat their own children. Egocentrism is also seen in virtually every developmental disorder rooted in abuse, and is not inherently malicious, it's recognizing the lack of-as the name stakes-an ego, and wanting to culminate an ego. At some point we get god smacked by Dunning Krueger, but unlike we see in raw CPTSD, the narcissist worships a righteous idealistic self and becomes very threatened when that is challenged. This hinders ego development indefinitely. With ego comes self differentiation from the outside and others, and an inner voice. Without ego there is, ironically, only *you* trying to see *yourself* 'somewhere out there'. Without ego you regulate your (lack of) self by possessing and controlling others in a shared fantasy. Without ego you are stuck looking for mother that was never there.

[@RippleDrop.]

@@DisturbedBurger 💯

[@albwilso9]

It appears to me that narcissists don’t “shed it “ when they grow up, is (at least) that their parents encourage them to be that way, e.g., Their parents tell them “don’t be a sucker”, don’t let people win” , “you are always right” “ people who tell you , you are wrong, are wrong and they are traitors “!!!!

[@CharitySarenasHirosato]

Dr. Fox, what if I come from a dysfunctional family & my dad is the narc. I got to know a person who offered to help. He a sked me why I want to move out? I told him that IT gas reach a point that my own father is asking the maid to ruin my clothes. So I transferred but even if I don’t go home still my clothes would have holes in it or get ruined. So I realize that this friend is sabotaging me by continuing what had transpired in my parents place. Even if he went back to the US , he hired someone to continue the evil did. Worst of all this person he hired stole a lot if my personal belongings. Whenever this friend came back from the US. I notice that he even defended the person whom he hired to continue his evil dids.

[@James-bc2oh]

How anyone can say narcissists don't know what their doing is beyond me,if they fear shame, exposure and anything else they've done, it's obvious they know what they are doing,if they can function on protecting themselves then they know what they are doing

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's always great to hear different perspectives on such a nuanced subject. Your input adds depth to the conversation!

[@shan2964]

Even if I was brought up, raised , NO Excuse to be a jerk to others!!!

[@DrDanielFox]

Absolutely! Our upbringing may shape us, but it's ultimately our choice to treat others with kindness and respect.

[@randomkiliinterviews9453]

My question would be how to reconcile this view with opposing views. Vaknin says there is only a cure for the need for supply (Cold Therapy), and nothing else. Ramani never saw anyone recover from it, and Richard Grannon (not really an expert but anyway) refers to a study where narcissists were able to notice their own narcissism / ''are not confused'' . So I am not criticising this video, but would be interested how these opposing views can coexist. In my view, there is a strong but shallow attempt on the part of narcissists to deny their narcissism, which is very different from psychopaths, who are consciously sadistic and evil. But quite interesting to see these different videos, and somewhat reassuring/therapeutic.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s always enlightening to hear different perspectives, and your insights contribute to a deeper discussion on this topic. Do those individuals currently provide treatment? That's an important consideration. I do, so I have current perspectives. I'm not saying they don't just that it's important to get the full picture.

[@lisaz4411]

@@DrDanielFox They might pretend to be cured

[@katieg7679]

I think, ironically, acknowledging your own narcissism would show some ego strength and would be a sign that someone is healing from narcissism.

[@rustyshackleford6637]

That's why it's so difficult. That fall from pride will hurt too much for one of these.

[@Dani-lc9hq]

Some actually do acknowledge it but unlike someone with empathy that does not result in any desire to change... some take pride in it or see it as a strength in some way, seeing empathy as a weakness, and think it serves them. Or they could start to use it as an excuse, well I'm just like that, what do you expect? That's the big difference, they can become self aware but that doesn't mean they are worried about their behaviors and truly want to change.

[@mlcarey1000]

After 30 yrs post divorce, I enjoy seeing my narc ex. He knows that I know & my presence makes him uncomfortable. Karma is real.

[@drummingtildeath]

My guitarist is a narcissist, I think. We argued recently because at one of our gigs he played extremely badly to the point it was embarrassing. He came off stage acting like it had never happened. Even said "I think that went well". When I brought up how many guitar parts were wrong, he totally denied it. He seemed like he genuinely didn't remember messing up. He even said "well I wouldnt change a thing about that gig". When he heard the recording back he realised it sounded awful, but instead of accepting that hed messed up he pretended it was all his equipment's fault (as if he's not responsible for his equipment), claimed it wasnt a big deal to play the wrong guitar parts, said it was just me being too critical, quit the band and then unquit when I didn't react, attacked me verbally ("oh you're so perfect you've never made a mistake, right?") and then tried to claim it was down to depression and having a hard time at work. All of that rather than just acknowledge that he'd made a mess of things. All I was trying to get across to him was that he was struggling because he keeps missing rehearsals and doesnt take the ones we do have very seriously. He takes a lot of Xanax though. I know that can affect motor function and short term memory. Its hard to know what is a personality issue and what is the drugs.

[@DrDanielFox]

It sounds like a really tough situation. Communication can be difficult, especially when dealing with someone who isn’t willing to acknowledge their mistakes. I hope you can find a way to address these issues constructively moving forward.

[@drummingtildeath]

@@DrDanielFox unfortunately that proved impossible. I can't work with someone that can mess up badly on stage and be happy with their performance and he sees that as an unreasonable amount of pressure I'm putting on him. To me, it's the musical equivalent of an actor in a play forgetting their lines because they didn't bother to learn them properly. If the actor was still happy with their performance despite forgetting what they were doing, I'd have to ask them to work harder. If they wouldn't do that I'd have to conclude that they're just not cut out for acting. If they claimed that was because I have unrealistic expectations, that would be obviously silly.

[@nasreenahmed4811]

Some times...gets trapped in the family of narcissist...eachone selfish and using other...in this case I think Reverse psychology works better..

[@foxiefair123]

I wish I could do that. I always think it’s my fault even when it isn’t.😂Probably because I’ve had too many narcissists in my life.😂

[@DrDanielFox]

Good insight. Use this to develop adaptive strategies

[@lynnienorris5776]

Do They Care?

[@DrDanielFox]

Great question. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t!

[@websiteckron8591]

What if the protective layer is some kind of a uniform? Very hard to detect what is inside those people.

[@DrDanielFox]

That’s very true

[@Snowflakes063]

Omg!! Its my fault… I was the “Over “ Care taking to make up or rather to make sure, he was looked after, never felt alone or abandoned and I paid attention to his moods etc, as I never had that growing up. I wanted him to Always know how much he was Loved, and that I would always be there to help him, to talk too and be the mother I needed and Never had!! And for the last 14 yrs, since his Dad left, he’s all I have! But look what I’ve done to him 😢😭😭. So how do I help change this… when he’s now 26??

[@DrDanielFox]

Identify your core content and start there.

[@Snowflakes063]

@@DrDanielFox. What do you mean by that .. Core content? I’m watching your video again to hopefully understand. How do I tell him he is this way!?

[@Snowflakes063]

I don’t think he shed it as at 18 yrs old he went to the Penitentiary for 3 yrs… he always had a hard time making friends when he was young and was bullied in school from age 11 when we moved to a new province in Canada.

[@mulletheadbanger]

Capitulation is a fault I developed , not sure I was always that way though

[@DrDanielFox]

It's interesting how our experiences shape our behaviors over time. Self-awareness is the first step to making positive changes!

[@immobillien2453]

They do not change my friend.

[@lisaz4411]

Yeah they never change

[@sjasminchristensen.single]

Yes i guess so

[@celestialstar124]

Being aware plus willing to change can better manage ndp.

[@royjohns6028]

Some know it and embrace it.They plan and rehearse what they do. The ones that don't know do it out of evil instinct,it's in their soulness nature.Being aware that their a narcissist or not don't make a difference their still what they are and that's dangerous

[@peaches039]

Dr fox, are any of your books available in a digital copy?

[@jeffreyhill4705]

I listened to the capitulation section twice, and My emotions are clouding my understanding. Does the npd capitulate, or do the people around them capitulate. I think I may have said yes dear, and I am sorry dear too many times. I had to say no forcefully to something I could never agree too, now she wants a divorce, and i do too.

[@MarisaPaola-um5yb]

Short circuit brain..to focus on their needs only..my father is a diagnosed NPD he was his narc mothers golden child, my narc older sister is my fathers, my paternal narc grandmother her narc fathers GC..the abuse/trauma happened to the spouses, and remaining children both physically and verbally/emotionally. My sister went to Therapy to save her marriage (her husband was my cousins fiance when she loved bombed, married and became pregnant to, in secret in 3 months)and causing us all to be shunned as a family...he was very dopey, now he has learnt to be like her, gaslighting, spreading rumours, calling police on me with false claims of crimes etc. 150 years of DV and misery.

[@TreasureDeal]

I think they love to wallow and live their victimhood to the utmost. Anything and everything is your fault. They are always the poor, abused child victim. I'm healing, far away. I'm so over the drama, accusations, and blame for things I never knew about. I'm learning to say...kiss my grits!

[@DrDanielFox]

It's empowering to hear that you're focusing on your healing journey and setting boundaries. Keep moving forward!

[@TreasureDeal]

Thank you. Some days are better than others, but I'm blessed every day I wake up above the dirt. Smile.

[@noturbo]

i always end up alone so something sure going on

[@bogdanlazar3278]

Hope you have a nice rest of the day. It's really pleasant seeing you in videos :) Thank you

[@kidzrevil]

Narcissist dont shed it cause they weren’t put in a situation where they have too imo. If you keep getting validated for childish behavior even into adulthood why would you feel the need to shed ? Thats just my observation

[@lpsglitterpaws8536]

No it is not!

[@kathymonteiro3533]

I’m curious how you even get someone with NPD to come to treatment? 👀

[@DrDanielFox]

It's definitely a challenge! Building trust and understanding their perspective can be vital in encouraging someone with NPD to seek help.

[@samparker2219]

Can I have help please. I’ve had problems my whole life being anti social and violent never went to school been in and out of prison bad relationships. I’m 29 year old male and recently diagnosed with bpd but it was a quick diagnosis. But I have no empathy or remorse for anything I’ve done and I don’t understand people emotions at all somebody could cry in front of me and I don’t care they could even tell me there mother just died and I couldn’t care less I’m very anti social and hate everybody I have no desire to talk to anybody and just want the world to leave me alone. Do I have bpd or a different disorder or do I have bpd and something else ? I’ve done some nasty things in my life and feel nothing no empathy no remorse but the doctor said it’s bpd but from watching videos people with bpd have remorse and guilt I feel no guilt or remorse for anyone or anything bad I’ve ever done I’m facing a court case for violence as we speak and i feel like i have to lie to pretend I care when in reality I couldn’t care at all no remorse. I also seen the psychiatrist today and they said I sound pycopaththic but I’m confused with the bdp diagnosis because I have server mood swings but as I said I have no remorse and I only ever feel anger and hatred towards people

[@DrDanielFox]

It sounds like you’re going through an incredibly tough time, and I encourage you to seek support from a mental health professional who can provide you with the guidance you need. Understanding your feelings and experiences is important, and talking to someone who can help make sense of it all could be really beneficial.

[@rikij05]

How can they do that when they lie about getting into therapy?? or taking any accountability, don't see it happening..

[@shan2964]

I think I am a narcissist, I know that I was a manipulative mess when younger, I hated myself, God has shown me, over and over, in my recollections, I ask for forgiveness, every time he has me remember, ... to understand why ,? I understand a spoiled brat!!! I see 😳, I don't point the finger at anyone but myself.😔. prayers please 🙏🙏🙏.

[@shan2964]

I don't want to be like that! I stay to myself, my choice , not sure that I want to be around anyone that might bring that person out in me, I like me more today.... I pray for forgiveness, every time I remember how I was. Maybe I still am 😭

[@shan2964]

I'm sorry.....

[@gab31282]

The reason they can't see it is because their behavior is perfectly reasonable and rational in the selfish and dangerous world their mind generates whrein they think they live in.

[@DrDanielFox]

That's an interesting perspective! It’s fascinating how our perceptions shape our understanding of reality.

[@catherinedubrovna7756]

The salmon has become part of the head😂😅

[@arthurbalcita4851]

I think narcissism can be cause by childhood trauma due to a dominating dictatorial mother who chooses who her children should marry and her husband who was the executor of all her evil schemes and henpecked who always responds “ how high “ when his wife said jump. It happened to somebody I knew who was sandwiched between their mother’s favorite son and daughter. This daughter became also a narcissist like the evil mother and very materialistic. By Amelia

[@DrDanielFox]

That's a really insightful perspective. Childhood experiences can definitely shape personality traits, and it's fascinating to see how family dynamics play a role in that.

[@MrMarcoAlvarado]

My German grandfather showed me the places where he fought in WW2, and I saw the American flag in France and that was freedom but freedom was not for me. And I started to keep things for me and to lock them up. I was not difficult in that environment to build up some kind of dreamworld. I delveloped BPD later on... Could I have developed NPD? I think no!

[@poojamehta5686]

😢

[@rickspalding3047]

I worked with one and wondered if she self reflected, I'd suggest not

[@websiteckron8591]

What if the protective layer is some kind of a uniform?

[@MarkLupson-it6xu]

There is no impaired insight. There is simply no empathy. Which means they literally don’t care. Undistllled selfishness. There is no cure.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s important to bring attention to these issues, and your perspective adds valuable insight to the conversation.

[@kennethyoung7564]

My cousin is a pretty bad Narcissist. Ironically she is also a therapist. haha. She is the most selfish person I know. Goes through life manipulating and controlling everyone around her.

[@MSB-yc4qv]

I just realized a very dear friend is a true narcissist as well as being an alcoholic. Dam.

[@antiguarocks]

They absolutely believe that they are perfect and infallible. Everyone else is considered stupid.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's interesting how some people can have such a skewed perception of themselves. It's a reminder that we all have room for growth and learning!

[@MarkFlo-x2b]

the true question is... does a demon know its a demon?? quite frankly a narcissistic person doesn't care because they are too self absorbed by their own selfishness that it supercedes everything else. they have no sense of accountability because it will bruise their fragile little ego. from a spiritual perspective they are literally the walking damned

[@Mikkibriteside]

I left my ex when he screamed at me that "he was proud to be a Narcissist!". Nope.

[@DrDanielFox]

It sounds like you made a wise choice for your well-being. Recognizing toxic behavior is a crucial step towards healthier relationships!

[@Mikkibriteside]

@DrDanielFox Also my part..my unhealthy behavior. How did my behavior play into putting up with it in the first place?

[@onetinsoldiergs]

You're a Narcy! Not meeeeee!!! Actually I have some Narcy characteristics but I noticed them more after doing ayuwhasqua. It's a process.

[@DrDanielFox]

Be well and get growing for the better.

[@stephenfredrickson4722]

Jezebel, Leviathan, legion etc! Demons that torment narcissists! Demons attach from trauma, unforgiveness,fear. Empaths- polar opposite to narcissist. Both have extreme trauma. You can forgive people but still have a demon attachment. Solution - holy spirit and taking authority to cast them out. Blockages= PRIDE

[@MelissaR784]

But what creates narrsasist personalities? Could being to hard on a child, expecting perfection or the flip side of being neglected be the cause?

[@Max1power]

In my case, a combination of alternating physical and emotional abuse/neglect and excessive praise for achievements/'bragworthy' characteristics from my parents.

[@chowell1451]

Basically were taught through experiences as a kid that having flaws is a sin, they need to be the best at whatever they’re doing. It’s not only parenting, outside influences also have a great impact on development, that’s y school is mandatory. They should teach this shit to high schoolers

[@MBarberfan4life]

Recent research suggests it’s largely genetic