Do Narcissists Plan Their Manipulations?

A frequent question that is asked and one which is repeatedly incorrectly answered. Not any longer.
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[@GMarieBehindTheMask]

He has done the most horrendous things , if these are done subconsciously, than these people are a HUGE RISK to themselves and others and should be locked away!

[@Naallaa]

Lol

[@wictoriaolofsson2714]

Many are locked away but often it is when it is to late and the victim ended up already in an body bag then an coffin abd dugged down 10 feet under ground. Sad enough!!

[@Jezzicar]

I know what you mean , should be a narcissist jail where they can't control anything , the things my nex used to do is so unbelievable and cruel .Hope you are in a better place now ❤

[@ceilconstante7813]

Jails are FULL of lower and mid range Narcs. Upper range are more intelligent. They DO think through what they're doing. That's why researching through public records may not show arrest records yet your future romantic interest may be a pro at bankrupting their partners and nothing shows up.

[@monicabelle8581]

Social predators but unknowingly. I’ve always wanted to know that. Thank you so much🙏🏻So are you saying it’s inbuilt in character.That’s why I used to feel sorry for him. When people used to ask me do you think he loves you.? I answered…he loves me the best way he can. 🙏🏻Sad. I really wanted to stay with him. My self respect and patience couldn’t take it anymore.

[@CarterSams]

Sins of the empath: projecting our humanity onto others

[@josieo2678]

No. More like, abandoning themselves, having poor boundaries, looking to others to fill that which can only be filled within themselves. It’s also a coping mechanism from childhood trauma.

[@shirleyrussell7089]

That sounds more like a Narcissist PROJECTING and gaslighting some Narcs can be dangerous also.

[@Geeronimo99]

​@@josieo2678we do abandon...ie empaths...

[@jadeheart911]

Because they are sneaky, lie to cover their shit , and plan things out to keep the merry go round of victims moving and continuing.....sounds like planning to me.

[@toneyfox6328]

Yes

[@scarletoharabia3801]

Mine planned the whole thing from start to finish. The discard had to planned as was totally designed to hurt as much as possible on the day of the year to hurt as much as possible.

[@Geeronimo99]

Funny. I cant work out this one. But narcs are robotic to a degree....is this like dissociation...then no wonder we want to help them.

[@HBMR334]

planned or not planned, it makes no difference for the victims.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

I understand what you mean, but it does make a difference. When you realise that most narcissists are not operating in a calculating manner, this ought to reduce your level of concern and anxiety.

[@HBMR334]

@@hgtudor-theultra it dosen´t reduce the anger for wasting other peoples lifetime.

[@sospita_]

@@hgtudor-theultra Either way he could show up at my house at any moment. Its a 50/50, planned or not.

[@MariaJimenez-ye9sn]

@@hgtudor-theultra The don't plan the hovering? , they don't plan the discard? they don't plan how or which way they are going to manipulate us? when they gather your personal information about you to use at a later stage? Is that not planning?? when they imitate our emotions to throw it back at our faces? Take the emotionally thinking and you can see the red flags, the patterns. Currently having one at work. It is like re-living your videos on real life.

[@vcowherd39]

Y’all must not be listening if you know what type of narc your dealing with it does make a huge difference!!

[@sugarsnap1000]

They act instinctively, in the moment and off the cuff, asserting control when they feel threatened, min by min, hour by hour and day by day. No wonder it’s exhausting and heartbreaking being with one 😔

[@veldalyonswatchwoman]

Excellent video ! I am a licensed therapist and I can tell you your information is very valuable to use it as an adjunct in my counseling . There is a lot of fear mongering a d misinformation going on on KZbin about narcissism that just creates more unnecessary anxiety ... thank you for your work 😊

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Thank you Velda and you are correct. I have numerous therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists who refer people to my work and to me for consultation (as well as consulting with me direct) as they recognise how accurate and effective my work is. You are correct about the misinformation, it is increasing and that is in part, why I provide the information I do, so people get it right.

[@willywokeup9112]

THEY DO PLAN..... THEY PLAN ON SEEING WHAT THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH

[@explorer0213]

Love u name 😆

[@francoisgouws7288]

Or what they can get!

[@justamysticalbeing4972]

(You can bet your whole ass they do! They gloat in their perceived intellect, cunningness, they are very proud of themselves for it. They don't see how ugly they actually are. You'd have to understand that many have sociopathic and/or psychopathic tendencies and properties. Some plan things literally years in advance.)

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Wrong, repeatedly wrong. Listen.

[@bernesemuir8022]

I agree with you my gut told me the feeling I had many times over, he does not care for me outta sight basically outta mind no plotting or planning Thank you for making this clear

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Good to read, you are applying logic and it will make you feel far better.

[@shirleyrussell7089]

These people are just EVIL I do believe that they do try to plan ahead but they USUALLY FAIL. A RAGING NARSASIST IS DANGEROUS.

[@anndillard8681]

I saw that too.. out of sight - out of mind.. no self-reflection - no empathy.. it stunned me when I realized the truth of what I was dealing with.

[@Songbirdstress]

Also since we are toasters, why would they hate us? They're just not that into us. No love, no hate.

[@jennifergodwin29]

This is the truth I just woke up to 7 days ago. It’s rocked my world a bit.

[@madcatter972]

For me, this is one of the most helpful things I have learned from you, H.G. I understand my mother so much better. The thing that has always baffled me is the way she CONSTANTLY re-writes history. The truth is whatever it suits her in the moment & whatever makes her win the competitions she seems to see everyone and everything as being. Whether that's being right, the most clever, the most hard done by, the most knowledgeable, the most unwell (the list could go on forever), or, that which also provides her with a lot of attention (which is what I suspect drove the Munchausen by proxy stuff when I was a child). Because she is reasonably intelligent & clearly based in reality in other ways; it didn't seem to follow that this rewriting of history & all of the lying could be anything other than calculating, cold-blooded (when the lies resulted in hurting others) and something she was fully aware of doing. On some level it's actually comforting to know she quite literally believes what she says and the re-written version of history. I've always found this aspect of her behaviour far more confusing than the rest of it, which is mainly just incredibly draining. Examples being her grandiosity, histrionics, pity plays, triangulating, cruel & humiliating comments, & her black & white view of people. People are either on a pedestal (though not as high as the one she hails from) or they are pond scum, & there is no in between. They can switch positions for the slightest of reasons & in the blink of an eye. I have learned it is an absolute waste of time trying to challenge her lies, and invariably results in my life being made suitably miserable for a good period of time afterwards. It makes it easier not to take the bait knowing what is behind it, which isn't easy when you're a truth-seeker. Thank-you H.G. Thank-you a million times!

[@alisonnonumber]

As someone who has been entangled with a number of narcissists, in intimate relationships, I really appreciate your work HG. I recognise how deeply damaged I've been as a result. I'm just wondering about the gaslighting. It was always done, quite regularly and relentlessly, privately, and I always did feel that it was very premeditated.

[@aminkasbi]

I don't agree that the Narcs. don't plan all their manipulations at all. They really do and I have experienced this many times. 100% sure they plan. In the other hand I agree with you that there are some situations where they just react based on their narcissistic instinct and without planing. Yes that's true. They need and have to keep control whatever it costs and ASAP.

[@Loveispatient76]

Me either.. he admitted it.

[@alexisa7200]

it requires a lot of planning taking a trip from usa to poland , find a cash buyer for a family property sell for cash and state that my parents sold that property for cash long ago and not legalize those sales , my sister planned to steal from others siblings . she planned to do this for years.

[@Geeronimo99]

Maybe theres an overall structure that feels planned...theyre wrecking balls. Get out of range...

[@jamaisvu8365]

I’m definitely sharing this 😅 Sooo many ppl over estimate the low functioning narcissist’s capability to cultivate anything long term... this isn’t to say you should underestimate their ability to be destructive. Its always easier to knock a building down, than to build one, stone by stone. I think it will put their paranoid hearts at ease. Thanks for this insight and I hope you’re taking care of your emotional health HG.

[@katarinatibai8396]

Absolut agree - they are experts in destroying - low function dosen't mean low harm. 😘👋

[@NarcissistFreealmost]

"he wants you to think he's a terminator hell bent on destroying you. . ." Yep, I was convinced- however, YES that is exactly what he was doing with all the appropriate people lined up to take me down. I wish I was imagining things, but unfortunately for me, I wasn't.

[@finleyscotland]

Once you know, you go. Why allow anybody like this near you? Problem is they are everywhere now. The gates of hell are open.

[@elliemay7569]

Yes frightening!!

[@explorer0213]

Best advise but some rather be with the devil's than be alone 😥

[@annemccarron2281]

He hired the most caustic, dishonest, ruthless attorney in town to get custody of my children with the divorce. He told me he did not want them, he only wanted to hurt me. He did not say, " I want to make your life hell" but he did say, " I'm going to take you for everything, including the kids." Tell me how that is not deliberate, is instinctive, and is instantaneous?

[@aranacha27rose98]

Mine definitely Planned and Executed his mission in my life 😂💯😎

[@chynadoll77cyn59]

Mines too

[@W.U.A.R.U]

Facts

[@violetskye6863]

I believe the last 2 I came into contact with absolutely attempted various set ups on me. Fortunately, none of them worked, seemed obvious to me. How does one explain “grooming “ then. Seems to me there is cognizance of planning to achieve a specific outcome for their victim/target

[@shirleyrussell7089]

That's why they don't sleep always scheming to get REVENGE when they don't get there way they are VENGEFUL SOULESS INDIVIDUALS. THEY never take responsibility for there wrong and NO they don't change.

[@cr4228]

I think they keep a mental ledger of perceived wounds or slights and stockpile each for a "get back at you" reaction as the occassion presents itself based on the targets behaviors and words: unintentional slights, as when a target presents a boundary that they do not want crossed by the narc.

[@sherryp3411]

Absolutely absolutely correct... I studied him. I know him so well now I can predict his responses. You are so so so correct. Their reactions are instinctive but a pattern as well. Thank you professor.

[@trishk5686]

Wow. Absolutely brilliant. You have such an understanding of the way we non narcissist think. I'm not even done with the video yet but just had to say that. I knew he was unaware of what he was doing bc I had plenty of evidence to prove it...but I can see how people arrive at the conclusion they are aware.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

You've got it.

[@fussyrenovator7551]

I’m so confused by it all. I’m pretty sure my husband is but it’s like wading through a lagoon trying to find a high point.

[@candycanes7581]

I literally break my no contact regime every time I listen to HG. I take a daily hit or two from my narc pipe and feed my addiction, which takes me to the place of thinking about the ex narcissist. You are insidious HG.😳🤷‍♀️

[@hgtudor-theultra]

You are not breaking your no contact regime by accessing my work. You are taking the medicine. Yes, it may have a side effect of thinking about the narcissist, but you would do this anyway (and worse) if you were not accessing my work. Emotional Thinking does not want you embracing logic (which is what my work is) and therefore it will try to con you into not accessing it, thinking you should not access it. My work, works. Keep using my work and not only will those thought about the ex narcissist fade away, you will achieve freedom.

[@candycanes7581]

HG Tudor - Knowing The Narcissist : Ultra Yes, it does absolutely work. I’ve earned my wings. Thank you, I am 10 months free. By listening to you, it keeps me on track. I learn a new juicy tidbit everyday. My only fear was I substituted one narc addiction for another. One can’t fly if their wings are being clipped. Thanks to you I can soar beautifully.

[@BS-gi9ys]

Having exactly the same feelings and thoughts 😖

[@anndillard8681]

@@hgtudor-theultra listen to you - makes me see how vile he is.

[@authenticme7351]

My ex was a GREATER NARCISSIST so I know he knew exactly what he was doing. He did it to all of the wives

[@tinalscott3444]

OMG! FINALLY! Someone that is actually starting to touch on my ULTIMATE question and PARTIAL belief! I've had a hard time believing all I've heard about narcissistic behavior when it comes to the love of my life that left me after 26 yrs! God, I still miss him so bad that it hurts to breathe after 3 yrs! Anyway, I don't think he knew or even really fully behaved like a narcissist until 1) the military pulled a big part out of him by specializing him in physiological warfare then 2) his mother died which kept his narcissistic behavior very suppressed and didn't let anyone know that he had any problems! Now I do believe that when it all came out, that he's a what u call a great but I'm having hell telling and healing while repairing a very bad path of destruction that he also left behind and I have no help. He left me homeless and destitute so it's been a slow process to say the least. Thank u so much. I hope that u have more that keeps me going.

[@lulalane1345]

Rarely yes, but they do plan to destroy.

[@ntombifuthiyika5975]

There's this friend I've known since I was 18 and she was 17. She was known to be fashionably late and we had learned to accept it. I think we were in our late 20s when she delayed a group of about 20 people for more than 2 hours. She laughed and apologized. I asked her privately what made her that late. She laughed and pointed to her hairstyle. I saw her countenance changed when I asked her if she ever thought how her behaviour affected others. It was like I was speaking Greek. If I knew then what I know now my life would have been much better without succumbing to her manipulations. But I tell myself that I'm grateful for every experience because I teach my kids now so they don't have to go through what I went through.

[@sallyg4544]

The narc I knew wasn’t manipulative or a planner. He was very unaware and unable to self reflect and therefore unable to connect that certain behavior was the cause of cyclical and repetitive negative outcomes. If he was able to plan and manipulate to his advantage, he wouldn’t have been so self destructive and self sabotaging. He often adopted my way of thinking or mannerisms to the point it felt like he was stealing my identity. And I could see that if I was not a caring and empathetic person, I could have easily manipulated him. His behavior was abusive and damaging to both him and to me, but it wasn’t planned. It was chaotic and didn’t make any kind of sense. And although overtime his behavior and self created drama became very predictable to me, it never was to him. He remained clueless and believed he was always the victim of “circumstances beyond his control’

[@zipnails]

Exactly !

[@hissyfitz7890]

CLUELESS 100%

[@pagemastrogiovanni9195]

Thanks. This confirms my initial thoughts that many narcissists act instinctively.

[@pamelajensen5961]

Damn that’s a huge relief! Very helpful information especially from a technical perspective. 👍🏻

[@Imnotyourdoormat]

they clearly have a master-plan with goals and levels of achievement desired, but that by no means guarantees they have all bases covered and never do. their innate ability to handle or "wing it" during certain unplanned for or recklessly handled situations is all the proof needed that they're barely able to hit the highlights of their battleplan.

[@legomeego8581]

What about when a narcissist tries to make you jealous? How can that not be at least somewhat premeditated based on the intent?

[@anniecarter5532]

HG, my narc started her own social media marketing company at only 22. She's very wealthy, travels around, and works with high profile people. In the playlist that she used to love bomb me, there are songs with lyrics like: "This is how a good girl becomes a sinner. Making of an angel becoming the villain. Get me in the mood, everything I wanna do is unthinkable. This is where your rom-com becomes a thriller," and "want you to waste a couple years on thinking I'm the one just to wind you up for the sucker punch." One is entirely about how the singer has lovers all over the world and she feels bad for stringing them along but puts off ghosting because it's fun. She even put up Taylor Swift's Mastermind. I look at these songs now and it's all so sinister. At the end, when I confronted her because I found out that her best friend was actually her wife, she said two things to me that I'm still in shock over: "I'm honestly sorry for taking advantage and using you," and "you're a great person. I'm sorry for ruining that." Of course, I don't think anyone ever figured it out and she was worried I'd threaten her IPPS. Furthermore, she started lying about a girlfriend domestically abusing her in the first 5 minutes of speaking and milked that to guilt, manipulate, and gaslight me for a year, literally saying that she was having ministrokes from the fallout of that abuse, which I not only caused by encouraging her to leave the situation, but abandoned her in her greatest moment of need. She was texting me from her honeymoon and hadn't even begun love bombing me yet. That girlfriend became best friend and was actually her wife and I told this woman after I found out. She didn't care. She was mad at me. Can you explain how this one didn't consciously know what she was doing to me or is this actually a greater/ultra?

[@johnfraser4893]

If any narcissist obtains a role, that is seen by the community at large, as a care giving or community serving role, such as nursing or policing, and the narcissist knows that this role serves a purpose to them to manipulate the community into thinking that they are loving, caring, altruistic and the like, then they have planned their manipulation. The now part you are referring to is experience based. It has worked before and there is no reason why it won't work again, and it is that experience of the tried and true which is instinctive. What the narcissist won't realise is that a person on the other end that knows what a narcissist is and when they see a narcissist they can't unsee it. Everything that the narcissist does reeks of it....

[@aprillove10]

Respectfully disagree regarding the targeting of victims. If they are jealous of your character traits which cannot be acquired by them...or...If they cannot access their target or, said target cannot be controlled...and...When they suffer a narcissistic injury... they DO retaliate. They will recruit others for the purpose of punishing the person who threatens to unmask them. The retaliation will include gang stalking. Smearing etc etc. The above described behavior is calculated. Meaning they are aware of exactly what they are doing. They know that they are engaging in retaliation. I say this because they get off on the reaction. They get off on instigating problems for their target and seeing their target fail.. setting them up for failure..schadenfreude. . And...If not calculated attacks .. their behavior would not be considered revenge or, the activation of their need to engage in facade management. They know what they are doing. For god’s sake they aren’t special needs. Or, are they?..

[@marthalouise701]

Mine planned!! His mouth would be moving almost like he was talking to himself in his head, moving his lips without making a sound. Planning things a year in the future. Making sure I would still be available to him in one years time.

[@amberzepeda560]

Often times I despise what you are saying...because it is so spot on. Damn it, HG.

[@M_Ladd]

I new it! Thanks for that info. My narc was not that intelligent!

[@sarahpotts2593]

The ones I've known have all been stupid, no intelligence there at all. However, I have found intelligent people to be manipulative, but not narcissistic

[@ulrikabjorken1752]

🙂🙂🙂

[@lisadavis6088]

I absolutely love you absolutely love you I love your voice I love your explaining I love how you tell people how it is I absolutely love you do not ever leave this KZbin channel ever we need you you are awesome I appreciate would you have been teaching I appreciate you helping me understand and learn I appreciate all that you are doing continue continue continue to help us all this is a hard battle this is a hard situation this is a hard way this is a hard life this is a hard hard hard way to be in this world and you help us to understand so we can heal me and grow and be the best that we can be for ourselves first thank you thank you thank you thank you

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Thank you but could you clarify if you love me or not?

[@ninjaaf8143]

I just threw up in my mouth

[@APlus-qx7no]

She obviously loves HG far more than she loves punctuation.

[@Zazezoo]

@@APlus-qx7no Side Effects of loving a narcissist, you loose your mind!

[@cyndigooch1162]

@@hgtudor-theultra 🤣

[@theveganvillainess]

Very insightful and helpful, thank you HG

[@hgtudor-theultra]

You are welcome.

[@mariag5201]

I don't care if they plan it or not to be honest, the immense pain they cause on others is huge to know about this is not even relevant, you can kill, rape, lie, cheat, Rob and exploit someone the same as if you planned it and doesn't make you any better, this is even worse as it's unnexpected and always obviously undeserved.

[@mrmegachonks3581]

This is a very useful video. There maybe calculation but only in the moment. Radar not a grand scheme.....unless they're a greater or ultra!

[@irenebuford8930]

Many videos on KZbin will say that narcissist are aware of what they are doing, however throughout the years, I thought this as well, I sometimes think that what people mean to say is that the narcissist does recognize that some of their behaviors may be looked at as wrong, however when I began to listen to you, I do agree with you that not all of what the narcissist person is doing is planned... I used my logical thinking, so you are 100 percent CORRECT! I went all the way back to childhood while being raised part of my childhood by someone that may have been a narcissist and as I teared up, I realized that you are right!.. Other youtubers believe that narcissist are the devil, so due to this belief they preach and teach that everything is planned, but if we use logic, it can't all be planned.. From the moment, I listened to you, I knew that my life would change forever and I mean 'Change for the Better'.. How can we better our lives with misunderstandings, so keep straightening it out!. Thank you so so much HG!..

[@ANNNEWALLET1234]

So I found paper work from years gone by . Hidden in a place he new I would eventually find. He planned it all . I have proof of this. So he must have been leaning towards the greater. The evidence I have is unmistakable. Or maybe he was just a sociopath and what do you think Gang stalking is. It's all planned. Man have I had a ride though hell . Someday I will definitely schedule a consultation. Thank you HG.

[@40ogre]

You are the man I salute you 🙏🏼

[@sherryp3411]

I totally agree with you...it is just how they operate in life...they are genuinely reactive & instinctive

[@nh55871]

I’m dealing with a very high level expert covert narc and he definitely plans and plots as well as manipulate impromptu

[@dinky19810]

They do plan.. but can't determine the outcome. The more of a fool you are, the better the outcome is for the narc.

[@jenniferwaller712]

I like this guy......he amuses me. Along , with his cognitive ability. Well done Sir!! You confirmed my suspicions.

[@irenewatson]

I was married to an Ultra and trust me,apart from the downside of him requiring a harem,his best plans would fall apart.A grand example was when he was returning a nurse back to her hospital after a date night and came face to face with the matron (who also happened to be my mother)That was an interesting conversation he had.They are reactive and often their plans involve others who may sometimes lose the plot.It is the flurry of action to recover the appliance that always tickles me.So much effort and time spent.They do have feelings but not as many as us.Mostly it's I want and you will do as I want.But say the word no and it's as if you've mortally wounded them.There are such light and deep dark sides to them that you have to decide what you will accept.My ex had a larger than life personality and any new night club opening night,he would be on stage singing to the fans.When none of them wanted to worship at his temple that night,he would expect tea and sympathy from me.Thats the problem,they can be so funny,endear ing and great company,that's why we get hooked.

[@sandraromero986]

When a narcissist gives a backhanded cumpliment, what happens quite often, isnt calculated. It just pop up that way, for internal mental processes, that are different to normal people.

[@valeriebogand7073]

A0p0

[@pamelav4628]

Thank you for the information.

[@NancyBrown1975]

Thank you for this video. It has added more knowledge to my understanding of narcissism. I needed to know this and it does help my anxiety.

[@andriajohnson4741]

If they didn't knw..why they act differently around different ppl

[@MariaJimenez-ye9sn]

I guess is fear and fear of competition. Some people are easier than others.

[@humanrel]

Because all abusers tone it down around other people. Not only people who are NPD and ASPD.

[@vanessali1365]

Because each one is situational, in the moment so to speak. To survive is to "fight" the "animal" in front of them, fight or flight, but unfortunately narcissist always picks fight. It's only my humble view.

[@teshamiller6001]

Survival. They instinctively need to fit in for social survival

[@AngelKrystalStar]

I was actually worried about this today. Like my NM is planning something to DESTROY me! I know it!!! 😱😱😱

[@AngelKrystalStar]

Ohhhhhh again we project OUR own pathology onto them

[@AngelKrystalStar]

Yeah my mother can't play chess 🤣 thank you thank you 🙏

[@joancrawford747]

Very enlightening and very thorough. Thank you!

[@scoutpaquette1678]

Respect for you and your honesty and vnerability to share with others

[@anastasiavonbeaverhausen5443]

Only an English man can say the word 'bollocks" with the style it deserves xx

[@hgtudor-theultra]

I think you mean only HG Tudor can say the word "bollocks" with the style it deserves!

[@MariaJimenez-ye9sn]

@@hgtudor-theultra What will you do when your self grandiosity collapses? What's that English say. The bigger the mountain you climb the bigger the fall..

[@mariee.9781]

Thank you for the clarification!

[@petefranchella9125]

If they are doing things like deliberately 'forgetting' your birthday, and making alternative plans on that day - then they are plotting and planning, surely

[@rlsloan80]

Or, OR, they really did forget because they never gave a shit to commit your birthday to memory in the first place.

[@xrouagial]

Woww.. Very useful information.. Liked ur channel..

[@naledismith3726]

My narcissist husband got people to attack me so yes it was planned. He incited them in my absence, no threat-and they would attack me at the next encounter

[@sarahjane8949]

God I can’t believe I’ve just read that as I’ve got back with my ex-boyfriend two weeks ago and I presume he’s been badmouthing me to people in his pub and now they are ignoring me and being a little bit derogatory to me so I think he did exactly what your husband to you and I did feel a bit threatened on Sunday that one of his so-called friends was going to lash out on me. I’ve given him fair warning if I receive any more ill treatment from his friends we are over

[@Areutherehello]

I'm not sure if he planned the the whole deception, or not, but when I discovered who he was, I felt as if some sick joke had been played on me. I felt tricked and made a fool of. All that was missing was pig's blood and a prom dress.

[@lelandtuttle5756]

What He is really saying, is that their manipulation is spontaneous... "In the Moment"... based off of memorized phrases, tactics , actions & gestures...

[@Amandalee80]

They live minute by minute

[@JJ-iq8mi]

My ex once said he didn't understand why he didn't seem to be able to look ahead and think of the long-term consequences of his actions.

[@AliciaM5555]

Not all. Some are insanely machiavellian. My Mom was.....😪🤔

[@katarinatibai8396]

@@AliciaM5555 Sorry for you - that's when there is a portion of psychopathy in the narcissist - it's on a scale.

[@lisarochwarg4707]

They plan plenty. Not all the time, but often.

[@Indiana_Blue]

Very manipulatively put HG👌🏽

[@鄭文英]

Thank you for sharing your knowledge. Your clips are an eye-opener.

[@cristyhenson4750]

Is is as mentally exhausting to be a narcissist as it is to be with a narcissist? It seems like it would be.

[@joannemcevoy4232]

Interesting video. So most narcissists do not consciously plan manipulations as they are not aware. The few who have awareness such as the Greater do plan the manipulations they execute.

[@judyjones6304]

They can plan/plot with their own narcissistic over attached needy money wanting parents, brother, quite nicely to secure for themselves all working together.

[@sandraromero986]

HG TUDOR the best in knowing narcissist!

[@GMarieBehindTheMask]

What about when they put their hands on people? This is physically apparent and they keep on doing it!? Doesn't this make them Dangerous?

[@shirleyrussell7089]

They can be very PHYSICALLY DANGEROUS TO YOU IF they are putting there hands on you CALL THE POLICE have IT arrested and get a ORDER OF PROTECTION FOR THE LONGEST PERIOD OF TIME THAT YOU CAN GET AND GO NO CONTACT. Watch your surroundings be prepared.

[@GMarieBehindTheMask]

So we have to feel sorry for these people? NO I WILL NOT!! If They know that they hate people that is enough for me to want them held accountable!

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Nobody has stated you should feel sorry for a narcissist. If you have formed that view, you have done so erroneously.

[@jolly7728]

Narcissism is frequently co-morbid with other Cluster B personality disorders, as we all know. There's the Dark Triad, for example, which combine narcissistic qualities with Machiavellianism and psychopathy. Both of these companion disorders are known for having high levels of cognitive planning, plotting, and forethought. As a result, claiming that narcissists are unaware of their manipulativeness seems overly simplistic, especially given they are rarely pure-blooded narcissists to begin with.

[@lauriehobin8351]

HG, how would you explain this. “The only way I can see this, is me and the girls move into your house for 1 year, She was going to rent out her house, have the tenants do all the repairs. Then she was going to buy everything new from the money she saved by living with us. That sounds like she planned the whole conversation.

[@lamentate07]

Makes sense. It is our egos, emotional thinking and sense of hurt and betrayal that makes us think it is all consciously planned. I think some things are planned, but the circular thinking/arguments and repetitive behaviour of most narcs makes me think it is not. Their tactics would be more sophisticated if they had greater self awareness.

[@shertheunlimited777]

Hi HG. How do “flying monkeys” come into play then if the narcissist is not interested in planning for one’s destruction? Does this mean HG that narcissists are not vindictive? If I decide to leave my middle mid ranger today, I would only endure a short burst of narcissistic rage but my middle mid ranger would completely leave me alone after (granted no contact has been applied)?

[@sharr323]

I think it feels like they know what they are because of that damn smirk. Most of my family are not greater. I do not believe they know at all. They are merely reacting and coping.

[@bruji2001]

@Shar R That damn smirk! Grrrrrr🤬

[@aranacha27rose98]

We had a reconciliation he told me his friends told him just to have sex with me but he wanted a relationship that was a manipulation He knew what he was doing he always so calculated

[@ninjaaf8143]

That's blatant manipulation

[@fingerscrossed2453]

I think they wouldn't class themselves as planning, but they do. They aren't conscious. They are sly. Is this what he means?

[@silko79]

When you refer to "narcissists" are you referring to people on the spectrum generally or full blown NPD? I understand the term narcissistic but still struggle to fully fathom how someone is incapable of emotional empathy or love. I now understand I know a lot of highly narcissistic people thanks to your video content. I suspect that about 4 of these people could well have NPD. However, I still struggle to identify the threshold between the two. Is the need for attention/admiration a necessary component? Thanks

[@fingerscrossed2453]

He has categories. He has a narc detector in his website. He can ascertain the livelihood of someone being a narcissist, narcissistic, empathic or normal. He can't medically or legally diagnose and doesn't claim to tbf, he can just give insight. A lot of narcs don't get diagnosed - the lower and middle (his categorisations) all think they're fine. The upper and ultra (his categories) know what they are. We only detect it because if their effects on others. He points out famous ones he thinks are narcs. He's one himself and a psychopath.

[@LeavingNYnevereasy]

This is the most helpful video for me

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Good to read.

[@rmr9345]

HG, mine x is a mid range narc. She stalked her school friend for 2 years on the net and started chatting. And then figured out his interests and mirrored him on singing. She practiced a lot on her singing. She totally planned to screw him those 2 years and finally flew down to his country, coerced a supposedly busy guy to arrange and pay for the hotel for their honeymoon. How is this for planning and plotting?

[@qtusa]

Narcissists try again, and again because they fail so often. Do they add up their losses? They prefer not too. So I keep track for them.

[@BeBe76182]

If they are unaware, do we need to excuse this behavior?

[@meaghansoria3336]

I actually feel bad for him because he doesn't know, know what he is or what he does. So he's going to feel hurt ( even if it's a false belief of hurt) and I'm going to be the mean, unfair, harsh one who's leaving. I don't want him to feel bad. I wish we could still be together, but it's impossible because nothing will change. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, walk away from someone I love unconditionally 😭😭

[@KadyPowellAEROPOLEONEKD]

Me too :(

[@Ikaros23]

The problem is that he don’t love you. And have never loved you. He was also feeling bad before he meet you ( he has a mix of superiority complex+inferiority complex). Move on with your life, the love you are talking about has been for a « mask/illusion». In the same way as loving superman or a cartoon hero on tv and beliving he is real. You think he is a mix of Peter Parker and Spiderman. But in reality he is Venom!!!.

[@thabomuso6254]

Narcs can act both instantly without thinking at all, as well as they can plan manipulations. I would say that most of their manipulations are poorly planned, but yet they do some form of planning. Their at least initial success does I think largely depend on other people's good faith and by the exploitation of their weaknesses. In my case at work, it was catering to my workaholic habits, my enjoyment of solving intellectually challenging tasks, and my desire to protect others from danger. It took a long time for me to realize that much or most of this was a trick, I started fighting back.

[@AngelKrystalStar]

This is EXACTLY how they look. 😂

[@theophany78]

It’s the damn eyebrows 😁

[@AliciaM5555]

@@theophany78 i actually heard that too from a well known doctor. Eyebrows. Damn.

[@jamicarpenter8760]

Oh he planned to destroy my belongings from a 38 year marriage, her threatened and laughed via text. So if they have time ( refused to honor court order for a year). They will plan...

[@CarterSams]

Mine destroyed all of my belongings too. Xo, I'm sorry. ❤️

[@explorer0213]

Yes look at Betty Brodrick she planned to kill her ex and his new wife and the prosecution proved it. In the trial she was deemed to have NPD. They do plan.

[@hibbertsh]

In my opinion there is a lot of thought process that goes into manipulation, so planning does come into the equasion, its an evil forming in the brain to be verbalized later. Especially if its something they want. I am not so sure I agree with you HG

[@i.l.9546]

Not sure about that. My mother admitted lying to achieve her goals, my ex boyfriend did admit too. When he told me to accept my leaving him and begged for a closure talking he showed not having accepted the end of our relationship at all. When I saide "Jut you assured me to accept it" he smirked and said "I know jut I lied bc otherwise you wouldnt have agreed to meet me once more". I cant see that this is not by pupose, sorry. And my ex spouse during the divorce was obviously trying to manipulate me by lying and trying to give me a feeling that I can trust him. It was sneaky and by purpose. There is no doubt about that. They dont see why they shouldn't. Maybe most of the time they are unconcious but when it gets tough for them they are very concious.

[@sightunseen6802]

Instinctive meaning predatory.

[@lashondaward2924]

Indeed

[@MultiCheeseme]

Based on my experiences, this is all exactly right.

[@cindyklaassen3391]

The narcissist does plan manipulated medical bills, 1) his surgery is after the kids surgery so I have to pay the deductible. 2) medical bills are altered and presented in court so that I have to go through every charge to see if it’s a real bill. 3) “you may have to pay” medical bills are used instead of the actual payment made, presented to the court. It’s a constant guilty until proven innocent. That’s a year after year court appearance.

[@lizp5449]

But dont forget, he feeds off all of our responses, fuel for him...

[@aranacha27rose98]

Everyone I know are narcissists

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Life sucks huh? Worry not, you are listening here so there is a way out.

[@annemccarron2281]

That is not a preposterous thing to say. 1 out of 6 according to H G. Dr. Ramani says 1 out of 3 are narcissists. I attract them like a magnet. It makes me independent and okay with being alone.

[@lilyasknegt]

I think its both: out of sight out of mind, but also This subconscious narc thread of intentional abuse and abandonment. Certain devalue and discard methods, as the financial drainage was intentional. Multifasceted. As the narc said: my feelings for you are complicated. There are negative feelings towards the empath and them thriving, and there is a game of chess being played with you. Its both plotting, calculation and subconscious thread of narcissistic needs met. My experience...

[@margaretrlewis1087]

I think they do know

[@sharibennett2071]

I understand narcissism. I'm a survivor. I'm an empath. He is a somatic Machiavely (hope I spelled that right) narcissist. He is by no means a lesser NARC and knows what he's doing because he actually tells me what he's gonna do to me and always follows through on it. I ran for my life. Pls explain that

[@joeroberto5367]

Ah...I came up on her radar- half-ass No contact because the emotional thinking wanted me to trigger her to hoover. She is a mid-range. Starting tk hit home, H.G. Thank you

[@effinyu9554]

Mine is HG level. He would stop mid conversation for an hour or more. IF he finally came back he'd say something like. I had to water my plants. He loved planning evil things to do to me.

[@betanialacoste7945]

The name Tudor is the royal family of England which spread throughout Europe. The royals do plan manipulations. When I give it back, I won't take it all the way, even if could. I seek to correct unjust situations. When I experience the destruction of my personality, I relocate and block my narcissist, but that way I text off the hook to take the last word from a distance. I won't let him respond. I dish it out right back without depriving him of a way to save face in the order of grace. He doesn't know how easy it could have been for me to put him in jail and take our shared pet. I reneged on that opportunity. I let him know I was severely tempted to. I rocked the plank for a year. I campaigned! The super empath finally campaigns against his victim card to snatch it away, and to call out the higher ranged narcissist that he chose to emulate in a premeditated way.