Do we have to forgive everything?

Thich Nhat Hanh answers questions during a retreat in Plum Village (May, 2014).
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[@Morgan313]

For those of you unaware, please know that Thich Nhat Hanh was a survivor and social activist of the Vietnam War and nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. To me, it is clear that he is speaking from personal experience in this clip. It is also poignant to me that a few months after this was filmed, Thay suffered a severe stroke, so this is one of the last recordings made before his devastating illness. Yet he maintains his peaceful demeanor. Thay practices what he preaches, and he preaches from experience.

[@bethtrautmann6901]

Sorry to hear that he had a devastating stroke.

[@LeKhang98]

The greatest act is that he forgives even the people who has forced him and Plum Village's people to leave Vietnam, their motherland. He just want to help people from both sides of Vietnam war without discrimination but some people were afraid of his enormous influence. Despite that Thay is still one of the most influential people in Vietnam even until today. Young people are still searching for all of his Vietnamese and English teaching.

[@petertordjunehag1055]

Nobel prize.... blaaa. Thats a part of the world of measure, competition and praise/blaime. I dont know. I dont like when these type of people are mentioned as "achievers", this is not about that, not at all

[@serendipitousbliss6548]

"In order to forgive - you must see and recognize the suffering and the unskillfulness of the other person. When we realize that person is the victim of their own suffering - it becomes easy to forgive. Recognize the suffering, understand the suffering and having the desire to make them suffer less." Such a great quote .... compassion for the other is the cure for our own suffering :)

[@moirra48]

I agree with: When we realize that person who makes you suffer is the victim of their own suffering - it becomes easy to forgive. But still: If somebody suffers and than makes suffer you - your suffering does not make his suffer any better ... only thing what is makes is that it expanses his suffering in bigger circle!

[@serendipitousbliss6548]

@@moirra48 yes but if we can put ourselves in the right mindset when they project their unhappiness at us - we can meet it with compassion instead of instinctive anger. We can transmute and transform the energy - and the other person will move with us. When they yell - if you speak softly. When they accuse - you comfort. I'm not saying it is easy - but the change you can bring about in a person's state of being is profound when you can do this. You become the boundary of that suffering where it expands no further - and in fact meets you and is transformed.

[@its_me_dave]

@Xena Jade Would you rather be like them?

[@Sun-sz4ne]

@@xenajade6264 we are mirrors. At times you had been the same for others. We show one face on the outside but inside we can be tottally different. Therefore, we attract what we are. Besides this, more we remember how much other hurted us, we are more far away from love, God. The ego fights with the soul and the ego has only pride and pretention while the soul is Love and God When somebody hurts us actually help us, its killing the ego because he is the reason of our promblems in life

[@lollic307]

I've been used and abused my whole life using this logic

[@Samgurney88]

I met a Holocaust survivor when I was 15. I asked him if he forgave the Nazis. He told me that he was full of hatred towards them for many years and it did him no good. Eventually he said he was able to forgive them. His anger was that genocides still took place without the world learning the lessons it should. That's always had a powerful effect on me. Whenever I struggle to forgive it always helps when I think of how others have been capable of much greater acts of forgiveness.

[@danielx40]

The only way to live in peace is to forgive. Everything else is disturbing to ourselves.

[@dejan3860]

By forbiding a state we can kill a Satan.

[@wordscapes5690]

My singing teacher whose family was destroyed in the holocaust, said she could never forgive. However, she used that anger to teach the next generation about the abuses of evil. There are some things that are beyond forgiveness - some crimes that no amount of rational thinking, meditation, or lovingkindness, can erase. Even if you say the words "I forgive" - nope.

[@lyt48]

Wonder how they did it. I think everyone who forgives, needs to make KZbin videos to walk others through how they went about forgiving. Lots of different ways/methods will become available for all those who really need to forgive for their own sake but cannot seem to work out how to exactly go about it.

[@lyt48]

@@wordscapes5690​​⁠Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning their acts/actions. It’s something else that I’m unable to articulate at the moment. But forgiveness is possible for all. And if we don’t begin now, we’ll never know how to achieve it as it’s essential to remember that each has different capabilities, context etc and we go through many births. Not everything is achievable in one birth itself. Some need shorter time, some need longer. If ones needing longer time to achieve forgiveness give up, thinking it doesn’t solve the problem, they lose the opportunity to realize its benefits in their future births. Crimes themselves can’t be erased through forgiveness because it’s upto the person committing the crimes too. But criminals of already done crimes or potential ones can be transformed through the forgiveness of others. I can sense that it’s possible but I do not know the actual ways to achieve it.

[@apersonnamedemily5443]

I think some are missing the reality that one can forgive and still protect themselves. Forgiveness does not necessitate prolonged closeness or intimacy. Just an understanding and compassion. Sometimes perhaps the best way to do this is with distance, as it's increasingly difficult to forgive someone who is still actively hurting you. Nothing being said in this video contradicts that.

[@mohamedladha7054]

Men get and forgets.God gives and forgives.

[@moirra48]

you are missing the reality of this world dear! there are millions of children woman and man daily abused by they parents ...family, husbands, landlords , employers, dictators ... and they can not escape because nobody will help them and they have nowhere to go ....

[@ExtraordinaryLiving]

@@moirra48 I agree ... I was going to ask the O.P. ... How can one practice forgiveness and compassion when one cannot put a distance between oneself and the offender, when one is *still "trapped" in a relationship with the offender* ? Sometimes, things in real life are not as easy and zen as people think. What Thich Nhat Hanh said here--know that the offender is the first (or top-level) sufferer--does introduce understanding, yet it is still very difficult when the offender repeats his/her deed.

[@moirra48]

@@ExtraordinaryLivingWhere is a strong believe there is hope. I believe that meditation and prayers will give you the power and chance to step away from the offenders circle. Included meditation and prayers for the offender. I like Thich, in many things he is right but I don't believe he is 100% right in everything! It is easy preaching while sitting in ashram, and not that easy to do if you are dealing in daily life with psychopaths, sadist or brain destroyed addicts. Buddha said do not believe teachings and preaching’s of anybody, if this opposes your experience. As teenager dealing with a couple of them in my family I did try to stay but as they recognized I am taking it without to do anything against it, things were getting from day to day more wrong and harder. They started to be more and more rude and even laughing at me how stupid I am. They behaved like I gave them free ticket to hell. So I do know from praxis, to love the offender and staying and allow him to do daily wrong things to you is NOT LOVING the offender. Think twice! It is not good for offender whether there is hell or karma if you let him do wrong things against you over and over again. You do have to step away from the circle of the violence, to be able to frogive (You see the other person as a suffering individual who will continue to accumulate karma) and to protect yourself (offenders soak often all energy from the victims, especially from children) to be able to see clear and than, eventually one day you can talk to the offender, and try to settle the things with him. Provided he want change and work on it! (I was able to do it with lot of love with one of the offenders, the others would say there was never happen something wrong = denied reality and own doings) YOU CAN NOT CHANGE SOMEBODY OR HIS BEHAVIOUR IF HE IS NOT WILLING! Even this shows it is not your responsibility to HEAL THE OFFENDER! ONLY THING YOU CAN CHANGE IS YOURSELF!

[@pekibuzz]

@Willow's Well😘 I can totally relate, unfortunately, and your comment helps me. Staying with toxic people for a long time is like poisoning yourself. But you also have get this anger out of your system. I find it very difficult when it comes to a closest family member, when that person doesn't even have an idea how much you got tortured. I am fighting with this my whole life, as long as I can't let go of those feelings I won't be free. It is very easy for me to put myself in others shoes and I am full of compassion with everyone and everything in the world. I only can't manage to act/feel like this when it comes to my mother. She's the reason I don't connect good feelings to the word "mother". Yes, she gave me life, but for the rest she only gave me misery. It's like a genetically implanted desaster, which went over generations.

[@jdmoreno6434]

Forgiveness is not to make the other person feel better but for you to create peace within yourself. Even if whatever happen was not your fault. 🙏

[@iamthatiam363]

I forgive myself for holding grudges😊 it's a start!

[@kittywampusdrums4963]

Check out Drukama tradition there's a process of self realization protocol and it's creating the mot liberating way of being for some people. Be well!

[@usernametaken2tekken]

Bravo! Metta.

[@iamthatiam363]

@Introspect thanks. my ego doesn't like self forgiveness or any forgiveness for that matter, it tries to make me feel guilty but I'm a spiritual warrior😁

[@dan-andreivasilescu228]

Same here😊

[@hongngochuynh3593]

Good job dear friend 👍

[@blehkinsoph9466]

the way i see it is that when you forgive, you are letting go emotionally. yes, we have been hurt, but given distance and understanding, we can begin to see why that person is the way they are, and be compassionate towards them. by doing that we're letting go of the suffering and blaming. however, that does not mean we have to physically be with them, or to beg them for us to help them. Some people are just not ready or are not willing to change, and that's out of our control. To stay with them, wishing, or doing things to make them see a different path is just poisoning ourselves. I don't know about you, but I'm definitely not strong enough to handle that everyday. Therefore, removing yourself from that person, healing yourself emotionally, and then be ready to reconcile when the other asks for it is my answer. i get this from observing how Thay dealt with the government of Vietnam that threatened his life and shut him off from the country. after he was shut out of the country, emotionally, Thay practised to forgive those who did it. Emotionally, he let go. But he didn't insist that he should meet them, to help them transform or to work with them in close proximity everyday! He just went on with his life, with the beautiful sangha. However, when the other party is ready to reconcile and ask for help, he didn't hesitate to do that! It also reminds me of how the Buddha never gives a dharma talk that was not asked by the audience. He must have wanted to help everyone, he must have loved everyone, but he knew his words would fall on deaf ears for those who were not willing to listen!

[@Onlinesully]

wish I had understood this years ago before I ruined my life by increasingly fighting back at anybody who was making me suffer or who I perceived as making me suffer

[@hibichu4732]

What made you realize that fighting back people that you perceived were making you suffer was wrong?

[@Onlinesully]

Miss Maddie Doesn't work that way

[@onefordespair]

Same. I have BPD and used to take EVERYTHING personally and had a total victim complex. Thay's teachings have helped me heal so much pain and let go of so much stuff that was never mine to carry. Such a burden off of me. Grateful to be alive at the same time as this great teacher.

[@Onlinesully]

@@onefordespair my experience was a little different. though i understand and empathise with what you’ve experienced.

[@sebnembuyukarslan6123]

But what you experienced is really important. The road itself is important 🌸

[@Ben-qm9zq]

If you listen long enough, you become aware of just how profound this mans words become!

[@harlankraft578]

My 1st time to hear his profound words! I enjoy learning. Eternal Student

[@birdlynn417]

Some people just enjoy being mean. They like to intimidate others to try to feel more important. Some people are more power hungry than to be fair or compassionate.

[@larrybeckham6652]

I cannot forget that this beautiful soul has witnessed the hells of the Second Indochina War. While the largest three goverments involved distrusted him and drove him into exile, at last the current Vietnamese government allowed him to return to his hometown to spend his final days. It is a silly and small thang but when I purchased a Inyen Vina bass guitar made in Ho Che Ming City, it gave it a name, "Forgiveness".

[@cutechiangels]

Music helps to forgive! 🙏👌😉

[@yusefendure]

Can you learn from your "unskillfulness?" That question is complex yet direct. What a lesson. To see the suffering in others, if it is put into practice, is life changing. Thich Nhat Hanh is wise. Many thanks.

[@ms.chanandlerbong2548]

When you hold onto something, you give that person internal power over you (which affect your thoughts and actions) so instead of being guided by compassion you are guided by inner unresolved anger and fear. Forgiveness frees us from these shackles. That is what Jesus means when he says to forgive. You see the other person as a suffering individual who will continue to accumulate karma. With meditation, when you see things clearly you have compassion for their suffering. You can only forgive and move forward.

[@sophoclestutorial]

Ms. Chanandler Bong I think, we should forgive because if were them we would have done the same thing. Forgiveness is liberating, it doesn’t mean you will continue being their victim, that’s continue a relationship, it would be naive to think they’ll change just because we forgive them.

[@prianthagovender649]

So wise

[@patrickvanmeter2922]

Time is the best healer for me. This has taught me to forgive much faster as I know eventually I will anyway. I don't hang on to things anymore.

[@renatam.5393]

Forgive but dont forget. 🦋 It is actually much easier to forgive than to just be mad for years.. and years and gather all this hatred and monstrousity that destroys your health. And it ruined mine mental health it drained me for something, someone once did to me. I felt relief after coming to terms with myself and im recovering slowly. I dont believe everyone deserves forgiveness but if you cannot forgive atleast try making peace with your inner-self.

[@mohamedladha7054]

Its better to forget than to forgive.Run away.

[@jmc8076]

If children could talk they’d probably say ‘I’m not a brat and little and I’m still learning. I get overwhelmed and frustrated just like you do, but I don’t understand why. Help guide me. Love me. A good friend teaches her 5 yo boy it’s OK to feel angry, upset, tired etc and helps him regulate/deal with his emotions in a healthy way (incl talking and tossing SOFT toys until...) You can’t teach your child to behave better by making them feel worse. When children feel better they behave better . Remind yourself my child is having a hard time not giving me a hard time. And if they’re struggling. That may help calm you and inspire to help vs yelling. We tune others out when being yelled at. They take all our patience but that’s why they’re the greatest teachers. Deep breath. Sometimes what’s upsetting them would break our heart if they were honest and not scared to be for fear of being yelled at or protecting us.

[@robbaxter155]

j mc well said. Thank you for the perspective on little children and THEIR perspective

[@dabeezkneez8716]

j mc Thank you for these inspiring words. It really helps me to remember these as I parent and there is truth in everything you say.

[@fiantiwiranata8437]

The question “do we have to forgive everything?” Is the same question that often comes into my mind. Why do you say like that? Do you know that that words/sentences hurt me a lot? I don’t hurt you but why do you hurt me bu saying something like that? Sometimes I learn how to take revenge to,how to give those bad words back to those people and I suffer,that person suffers too. We all even suffer more by doing that childish thing. And I think it’s not right if we keep doing this. I do not take revenge anymore but still suffer and don’t know what to do even I don’t understand why he/she likes to make me angry. I thought that he/she will be happy if I suffer. But thanks to Master Thich Hnat Han I now understand why some people start to angry how does the anger comes. I am now understand what anger is and how to treat people who is angry with me. And do not hate that people who is doing something bad (angry) to me anymore. I really happy to listen,to have this video. I really seek for this understanding,explanation about what anger is,where it comes, and how to deal with it

[@leebarren3277]

FORGIVENESS AND FREEDOM: The idea that forgiveness is something you do for someone else results from the perception of power as the ability to manipulate and control. The unconscious intention behind not forgiving is to cause pain in someone you feel caused pain in you, and thereby alter his or her behavior. This never works because the origins of your emotional pain are inside you. When you choose not to forgive, you inflict pain upon yourself. Not forgiving is like trying to cause someone else pain by breaking your fingers. You are the one who is hurting when you do not forgive. There is nothing healing, nurturing, or even slightly positive about not forgiving. Not forgiving is holding someone else responsible for your experiences. The emotional pains that you feel can be created only by parts of your own personality, not parts of someone else's personality. Other people can activate these parts of your personality, such as the part that will not forgive. They can treat you cruelly, abuse you, even torture you, but only parts of your own personality can create your emotional experiences, including your painful emotional experiences. The longer you blame others or circumstances for these experiences, the longer you experience them. Forgiving is something that you do for yourself. When you forgive, you stop holding others responsible for your emotional experiences. You step into a position of power because you cannot control others, but you can choose within yourself between the parts of your personality that create emotional pain and the parts that create experiences of gratitude, appreciation, contentment, and joy. Sometimes the pain is so great that an individual cannot find the strength to forgive. In these times, it is enough that she or he pray for the elevated perception, the Light, the Grace, to forgive. It will come. In all cases, the healing dynamic of forgiveness requires you to look inside yourself instead of outside yourself for the causes of your emotional pain, and challenge them by not acting on their justified anger and righteous rigidity and acting instead from the most healthy and wholesome parts of your personality that you can access in that moment. Forgiving requires you to change yourself for the better instead of blaming. It requires you to heal. Forgiving is consciously choosing to leave behind the prisons and torments of your fears. It is also the creation of authentic power. "I fully and freely forgive and release anyone who or anything that comes to mind. I fully and freely forgive and release myself for harbouring negative and unkind thoughts. " Blessings, Love and Light, Endless Light.

[@phoenixd9679]

Lee Barren I want to thank you for you're wise words 🙏🏽 I am starting to forgive myself first and my perception of those who did or do hurt me will work for my healing 🙏🏽

[@thulasivasudevan3861]

Good one , thanks for your words

[@mirela2608]

So true.

[@fry5544]

Well said.

[@vk3act]

That is beautiful, Lee. Thank You.

[@miuranganikarunarathna]

Best advice ever! Love his idea about 'unskillfulness'. It is not just an emotion. But the unskillfulness of the person. A different definition for being skillful. Thank you so much! ❤

[@paratrooper73]

I did all that.. but when I found out my partner did it on purpose to harm and lie to everyone , the world changed for me. The hell with all of my forgiveness for you! I have to forgive myself that I fell into those traps. That all the narcissistic abusers may burn themselfs in our light of true love and happyness.

[@aaguramudra3679]

The question isn't "Do" we have to forgive everything.... it's "How" can we forgive everything. "Hatred stems from a lack of understanding" to try and understand the situation and the events that lead to the situation is the best way to love that person again, even after he or she has done wrong.

[@colinlavery625]

This simple teaching has had a MASSIVE impact on me.When any person is nasty to me I will see it in a whole new light.Many thanks for this.Colin Lavery Aberdeen SCOTLAND

[@TheRocketman136]

He's a really kind man. Some 'unskilful' people don't care to listen to you, to try or can change. Crucial point. And then there's such thing as responsibility or I would say, honor. You may not be able to change, but i'm convinced you can be honest with yourself, so admit the truths and don't do what you can't do if that hurts others. Its your burden, not theirs. And if you still do that because you are selfish coward and liar, then its only fair to answer for that. I say, if someone makes you suffer. If they won't care to change. Don't poison yourself with hatred. Move. But never forget, such experience is part of you. So if occasion arises, tides changed, there's absolutely nothing wrong with not only protecting yourself, but serving the justice. Just don't let it cloud you own road.

[@AcierInfernal]

I know a day, a narcissist person who betrayed and inflicted me a lot of suffering. I hated this person so much, i fall sick of that. Now, she is dead and than I wasn't happy of this fact. This person was his own enemy and was impossible to change. Now I have partialy recovered and feel a little compassion. Thanks for this deep advice. "Namaste"

[@ataraxia7439]

Yeah, I think now that we know more about the psychology of narcissists we know that it’s innate and not something that anyone has ever been able to change. It doesn’t make what they do okay but when I learned how some ppl just can’t feel remorse for their actions or concern for the welfare of others, it made it a lot easier to just see it as a sad state of affairs and not ppl I wish I’ll upon.

[@ariesphenix1]

This practice is so needed in the world right now. Thank you.

[@Sean-ec8zb]

Master Thay has suffered so much but His Love, Compassion and Understanding are way beyond sufferings.

[@jenniechen24]

Love and feel blessed to his teachings! He is the Buddha in my eyes!

[@lapislazuli7876]

I find it enlightening how so many commentators on these posts think themselves to be superior in knowledge to the teacher in question here. But they are not clearly by what they themselves teach such as: "no I will never forgive" then it's clear that you haven't yet been awakened to right-mindedness. If you haven't done the inner work, then please refrain from making blanket statements such as "forgive but don't forget" and "some things should never be forgiven." These are states of wrong-mindedness and they mislead those who are genuine about awakening. I am not a Buddhist but I try and integrate mystical Christian practices of forgiveness into my life daily. This is the key message of Lord Jesus/Yeshua and it is beautifully espoused here by Thay as well. Forgiveness is greatly misunderstood because people believe that by forgiving (giving before the act) that they are condoning behaviour. They are different things. By forgiving you are forgiving illusions not reality. Illusions are anything that is not of love. Illusions are what people perform from the ego. Therefore anything of ego is illusory. Unless you have come to integrate this teaching into your daily life or understand it deeply, I would invite you to listen and observe without commenting. Be willing to be taught and don't think you know everything. No one does. Be present to yourself by resisting commentary. Listen & Watch. We live in an age where everyone feels entitled to comment without having the background or even the lived experience to do so.

[@pukljica]

Beautifuly said..

[@marybrown957]

The essence as I see it is the realization that perpetrators of our suffering are acting on/retaliating against their own inner torment. personal experience convinces me of this wisdom.

[@moragharding7421]

We are all at different stages thus each comment comes from that person's understanding. No more no less 🙏

[@nomandad2000]

Well spoken

[@jonathanzabel7488]

This is an excellent video. As an SGI member, I have been trained to pray for the happiness of the person who hurt me. Te goes one step further. If that person continues to hurt you, despite your warning him and correcting him, then try to get inside the suffering of that person, to understand why he continues to do this. It definitely embodies the spirit of Tiep Hien - Interbeing - exactly what Thich Nhat Hanh writes about in his book "Being Peace".

[@BrianOttoKimmel]

You know, I put an institutional and systemic lens on this. The fact of Thich Nhat Hanh's life and the suffering he has witnessed in his country is really touching. Especially the last few minutes. Thay is speaking from a very deep and experienced wisdom. When Thay talks about victim number one I hear volition and the Sutra On The Son's Flesh. That person may not be in touch with their suffering and the conditions that perpetuate their acting out and watering seeds of suffering in others. Personal awakening is powerful and can directly affect and impact systems of oppression especially when that person looking deeply into themselves is in positions of authority and has the lives and wellbeing of others in their hands.

[@dutchessmargaret8194]

Thank you

[@TheRocketman136]

that's exactly what this world lucks. People won't find answers in fancy politic systems for better life. THIS is where we should be looking.

[@saoirserosenstock8144]

Well said

[@HaiHoang-xx4pk]

Your wisdom is immeasurable. Thank you!

[@lindsayuhh9802]

Sadness and anger create more suffering for ourselves than for the perpetrators. Overwhelmed by anger, we want to punish, we want to destroy. It is hard but crucial at times like these that we must hold back, stay silent and bring peace first unto ourselves. If we stay long enough in that calmer, lucid state of mind. If we allow ourselves to ponder even more deeply about life, we should be able to see something we might otherwise not see. Let’s together end the endless cycle of suffering.

[@isabellakarner7403]

You were and are a wonderful teacher!!! God bless You, beautiful soul!!!!!! You have guided me for many years! I am grateful beyond words and I know You are with us. Thank You!

[@Columbia-Brightlight]

Comforting to hear wise words from a beautiful Soul. 🕊

[@LadyCriminal0013]

For me, forgiveness is easy. Just stay away from them and keep living my life. No contact and not wish any harm on them.....the hardest part, for me is that it hurts for a long time; letn go of what they did to me. I can forgive but cannot forget

[@zj7124]

He’s so cute I love him so much! And love to everyone! Namaste!

[@zain4019]

:)

[@gra6649]

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. These are not empty words. In my life I have needed and received lots of forgiveness, and I am grateful. There are two special people in my life that I want to forgive but their betrayal almost killed me. Both have apologized but have taken no action to back up their words. I could say the words but the hurt and mistrust is still there. I wish that I could be rid of that weight.

[@demelza32]

Forgive yourself for not forgiving those that have hurt you. It is hard to see others that don't actually learn from their misdeeds- even when dropped into their awareness/unawareness, especially when they are close to you. Maybe accept that you are unable to forgive these people and that may help? Empty words are a waste of energy for the person saying them and the person receiving them.

[@gra6649]

@@demelza32 My teacher said ideally one should forgive everyone. But then he said, “but who can live like that?” All one can do is try to do the best one can.

[@965shadowhunter3]

This is a very practical advice for forgivenesss. I Thank you.

[@harlankraft578]

Very deep and wise! Thank you Sir! Skillfulness brings heaven to earth!!! Thanks

[@eleyanalake1069]

Finding ways/tools /practice to Forgive the self/our self and the other! person!!! This can be a very difficult healing process! Thank you - Namaste!

[@mainr7142]

I really, really needed to hear this

[@russells.soehnerii8308]

Dr. Robert Enright’s first chapter of “Forgiveness is a Choice” articulates what forgiveness is not, including reconciliation.

[@Sheperd94]

Thank you, Thay! This is such an important lesson! I will be visiting plum village this year and am forever grateful!

[@franziseitz5986]

Viel Freude und gutes Praktizieren.

[@dzoeahmad]

This is so beautiful, your work touches us day and night. You are an inspiration to the world, counting down this good, l look up you

[@chongseitmooi2593]

ilov ths dharma guidelines its really helps of what 师父said coz ipersonally experience al thisuffering fr 50yrs

[@juliamiranda5318]

Simple, deep and amazing. Thank you soo much indeed!

[@petercollins3137]

what a beautifull way fof expressing the struggle of life,

[@inimacam3945]

This insight comes with practice . It is a skill and it needs much kindness and compassion towards the person who is causing the pain and suffering . Over time one becomes stronger and calmer when facing abuse... .But when abuse turns from verbal to physical , its best to haightail it outta there and go to the nearest police station . Sometimes we have to realize that we ain't no angels and its only so much one can take . TQ

[@angels0auras]

What a Beautiful Soul 🌸

[@sobieski9975]

A thing that i noticed..... as he speaks, and thinks, and explains his understanding of things, he alertly notices all that is around him-- he whips his head around periodically as if something is happening which has caught his attention...ad if he is diligently surveying his surroundings as he speaks.. Whereas i might mumble out something like., 'what was i just talking about again?' ..this man only shows serious concentration, clarity, alertness, wisdom, and compassion.. i realize my own unskillfulness as i witness his grace and skillfulness..

[@Simon0]

Just the way that he sits and his expression makes me think he is spiritually evolved!

[@Fred-oz3tw]

wow! you can chose so many different underlines! awesome job!

[@caliblue2]

Since forgiveness is crucial to our spiritual ascension for me it helps to remember the good things about the person while admitting of the rejection of the negative aspects of their relationship do you.

[@wicolem2]

Super amazing. Thank you. 😊❤️😊❤️

[@J.A.Hansen]

🙏🕯♾🕯🙏Dear Zen Master thank you for your wisdom and knowledge,you said the right words🙏There are moments in our life where we all did something wrong.Some of those things we did without knowing and some of them we did out of our ego.But whenever we found out that what we did was wrong it is important to ask the other person for forgiveness and to learn from our mistakes and not to repeat them again. But forgiveness only works if we are aware of our action and we take responsibility for our words.And it only works if the person we ask for forgiveness will forgive us.There are many people in this world that don't mean what they say.They ask for forgiveness to have a certification to fool people again.So i forgive them again but i tell them that they out of my inner circle of life as long as they don't stop their hurting.So i stay away from them.Because if i don't they think i agree with their way to lie to other people.Which i don 't.Sometimes it is better to get out of a circle,then to stay inside because there is no chance for peace at all ♾🙏Peace be with you🙏🕯♾🕯🙏

[@abhinavshrivastava5544]

So true and deep learning lesson...thank you ...!! 🙏

[@NoMoreHate.]

That was enlightening... Thank You

[@alexandreviol]

True Master of Wisdom.

[@pjdelucala]

All thoughts and emotions are frequencies. Dark thoughts and emotions are lower frequencies. When you forgive, you set yourself free from the lower frequencies. You become free. Forgiving does not mean you should continue to be with those people. It is a solo experience.

[@persiasamovar3782]

I heard him say forgive when you feel compassion understanding and perceive suffering in the person whom you perceive has hurt you. I heard him express tacitly If u don't feel it or perceive it then you don't forgive - there is no requirement - it isn't to be forced. If it is a burden on u that u hv not forgiven u should carry the burden of not forgiving until u feel a shift in yourself that allows u to see those things in order to forgive. He did not say anything about stay in a repetitively hurtful situation, be a doormat, forgive solely for your benefit, or hurt your spirit by acting the same. Feel genuinely moved to forgive inside your being or else do not forgive. He made the act of forgiving sound like a 2 way exchange between equals. What I got out of his teaching was do not do a shallow act of forgiveness which actually isn't forgiveness at all but is actually not mentally feeding a righteous anger flame in your heart because it's affecting your health. In that case you stopped hurting yourself but u did not forgive which again I didn't hear him say was mandatory. He made forgiveness sound intimate, like seeing the oneness in everything. I didn't hear anything from him that rules out: leaving, living in silence, acting unskillful in retaliation and doubling down, or using force to protect yourself (which isn't violence). I only heard him explain what forgiveness is and left it up to that woman to decide when and if she could based on her journey. Btw, being forgiving and loving does not equal letting violence oppression stealing lying happen in your midst or on your watch. Forget the new age psyop that says spirituality is being cool w everything and nothing can be immoral. There is universal law. No masters no slaves

[@trumpetsharps4496]

Very well explained, helps expand on the Truths spoken by Thay, thank you for taking the time to do this.

[@entplady]

Much love to you Thich.

[@blognroses3161]

What a valuable lesson... thank you so much....

[@sharonsamtur4034]

There are cruel acts that cannot be described as "unskillful".....what a euphemism. When a peron abuses an animal...are we to worry about the innate suffereing of the perpetrator or honor the animal's suffering. NO. Lack of accountability is what has made our world more violent than lack of forgiveness for those who harm. Making hazy the boundary between good and bad....enough! By forgiving evil we prolong the horrors on this planet. ENOUGH!

[@lebamboo08]

If you forgive some one hurts you then or now it means you forgive yourself,, No more suffering, hatred , angry, sadness inside you, More love compassion coming.

[@PhillipLWilcher]

Forgiveness is God's gift for giving. It is the way of Grace that sets one free, as does Unconditional Love afford our life Liberty. It is that while ever we do not forgive, even ourselves, do we remain the victim. What better way to transcend than through forgiving those who trespass against us, then to show though such transcendence the Truth of Who We Are, a person of Divine Love!

[@andreasleonlandgren3092]

Brilliant advice. Thank you.

[@lialialia9647]

Thank you, Thich Nhat Hanh

[@busylancervlogs2297]

I watching this while i cry holding my anger. I convert my anger into tears. But listening his voice, and see how he answer every questions, make me realize that buddha is my next destination.

[@mila.fairychild]

I feel the same way🙏

[@maeodok-laoskorat7097]

So wonderful! Namaste🎈☀️🎀😘🐞💋🌈🌹🐰🦄😍❤️🙏🦋

[@MikiMaki76]

no, absolutely no. what matters is what a person can give you. if a person drag you down and make you always suffer, cut all ties and avoid it, because it takes too much from you and give too little; if a person make you peaceful, help your inner growth and awareness , forgive it, because it can give you more than it takes. Buddha was never about unconditional acceptance but he was clear one should spend time with people at the same level or higher and avoid people who drag you down.

[@brujo_millonario]

Sometimes you can't avoid them... and although you could ask protection to Vajrapani for example, he won't fight your battles. What about giving some bad guy a lesson, so he doesn't hurt again? Wouldn't that be for his own benefit?

[@MikiMaki76]

few people are able to learn from their mistakes. replying with an eye for an eye will make most of the people more angry and more prone to repeating the same mistakes over and over again. that's why what for you is "a lesson" for another may be a wound on their ego which causes more suffering and more hatred. the best course is always to avoid people who are not mindful and not wise, as much as possible.

[@brujo_millonario]

MikiMaki76 They'll suffer until they learn the lesson. Who cares if their ego is wounded? As long as they don't make more damage. Running away from a fight isn't always the best option. Sometimes is the most coward one and has bad consequences. Sometimes in an effort to make peace you make more damage than if you had participated in the war. Non-violence for all cases is simply not applicable in this wild World.

[@MikiMaki76]

then I see you are one of them. your wounded ego won't allow you to see reason, no matter how far i am going to go with explanations.

[@brujo_millonario]

That non-violence way of thinking is evil; because it leads to abuse from those who rule. Governments only hesitate to use violence if they're afraid to lose votes, but they don't care about us. They've been brainwashing people with "ahimsa" since thousands of years to make us meek, so they can keep lying, stealing, killing and limiting our freedoms and rights forever. They want us to be sheep while they're wolves. You should realize about that. Religions like Christianity and Buddhism only perpetuate that situation. If the Buddha was really enlightened then we don't have all of his true teachings available.

[@jltinius]

Wow. Very well said.

[@georgeredpath5394]

thank you for this message , this has given me a new thought process i will carry with me for the rest of my life Gassho

[@carriewilliams1642]

I appreciate what's being said in a general sense. Though there seems to be an assumption that everyone is good at heart - 'unskilled' as though the only reason a person would hurt another is due to lack of skill. I believe that some have let go of their humanity. Those who commit cold blooded murder, or rape and molest the vulnerable. I believe there is no good left in these people and they are a constant threat to societies' wellbeing. I believe that any appearance of good from these people, is just that; pretence, a way to manipulate so they can further carry out their agendas/crimes. Is forgiveness relevant for the worst of society? If so, how can it be? These animals don't need room to grow. They have become the mud that tries to choke the life out of anything beautiful.

[@SonofSethoitae]

There is still good in some of these people. Good can be inculcated in many others. Only very few are beyond help. Remember that good is something that you do, not something that you are.

[@trumpetsharps4496]

Good points. I would like to ask Thay about these types of people because as a refugee from the war in Vietnam, neighbour Cambodia was under Pol Pot regime, he would have had met people who were victims of these types.

[@bethtrautmann6901]

@@trumpetsharps4496 Your comment is very perceptive. Thanks

[@waindayoungthain2147]

I love the way as they are .🙏🏼

[@waindayoungthain2147]

As the way you are. Everyone. 🙏🏼.

[@cutechiangels]

Forgiveness is the best way to move on. Towards oneself and the other. But, an important point is, that when it becomes a long vicious circle of forgiveness and harm, years on end, without deep changes, etc.. , then one should hook off. Distance is sometimes the best medicine. Just like Thích who was in exile. Eventhough not his choice, but thanks to that he could build a huge community of followers in his beliefs of peace, In France and around the World. It's best not to continue engaging contact, if pain occurs over and over. It hurts to leave, but it's destructive to stay. Distance can relieve pain, and make way for true forgiveness. 🙏

[@yenusa7715]

This video is very helpful. He is wonderful teacher!!!

[@adrianamarchabi-abib9148]

🙏💗🌸🎈I love dear Thay !

[@SSingh-qd6ie]

Once you realize your innate nature you do not have to worry about forgiveness, love, peace, compassion because all become part of you.

[@yesteachers]

Although I now understand the person who made me suffer all my life and that she suffers also because of her own thoughts and behavior, I notice that my suffering is still going on when she 'attacks ' me. It's every time very very painfull .

[@wordscapes5690]

Forgiving little things like betrayal etc is easy. Forgiving REAL and HORRIFIC abuses.... quite a different matter.

[@mayarmshmsha957]

Beautiful 💚

[@brujo_millonario]

The problem is, some people will keep damaging others if you forgive them. Then that wouldn't be a compassionate attitude towards their victims.

[@brujo_millonario]

***** But can you possibly forgive someone and then send him/her to jail, so he/she stops killing for example?

[@brujo_millonario]

***** "just need to be shown the error of their ways". Some people doesn't want to be shown anything. They aren't open for it. Ward I don't know what you mean.

[@brujo_millonario]

Isn't it selfish to say the responsibility is just of the victim? What would you do if you were outside and saw some guy raping and beating a woman and there's no police around? You just watch or go away because it's just her business and she must learn to protect herself? You know, talking about "anger"; it's enraging how the main religions have succeeded in making most people meek and silent victims of the abuse of an Elite who doesn't hesitate on using violence against the working class and the poor to maintain themselves at the top.

[@mesCheerios]

No. To walk away would not be compassionate. That is not the teaching of this video.

[@sreynebeau11]

There's a difference between emotional and physical suffering or pain. When someone is hurt physically there's nothing they can do to avoid the suffering of that unless perhaps they trained in self defense techniques but even then there's no guarantee and even the most well trained can be surprised and ambushed and overtaken with numbers. So if you see someone being attacked, yes, please help them. And is far as forgiving the person goes, you can accept their actions while still trying to stop them. Just because you accept something doesn't mean you want it there. If you can change something you don't want, then do it, if you can't then don't. Accept reality for what it is. If someone is being attacked emotionally or with words or something not physical then they can choose how to respond to that situation. There's nothing that's forcing them to be hurt. But, if they are hurt from it, it's not necessarily wrong. It's okay to be hurt, that's what you need to realize. It's okay to feel pain, to feel anything, because it's there and going to be there regardless. It's about observing these things, not being these things. And by recognizing the attackers pain and suffering and untrained mind you find forgiveness in that even if they keep on doing it. It's simply about accepting reality for what it is, the good and the bad. This doesn't mean that you can't try to change these things. Just because you accept something, doesn't mean you want it there. You can desire something better, but it's important to be okay with not getting that desire. It's not about indifference, it's about acceptance.

[@nikesamo2025]

Mind-changing!

[@feelwang]

in a short answer he gave a way to reply this no answer question perfectly

[@michelleboutwell-goodman818]

I do believe in forgiveness but I don’t believe that the person should ask the party they’re seeking forgiveness from to be their guide or coach in addition to forgiveness. The burden is on you to better yourself and to take the lesson so deeply you inherently would seek that change within yourself. The best apology is changed behavior. My .02 :)

[@nhmooytis7058]

It is very hard for me to forgive yet I know it’s true that holding a grudge is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

[@danielx40]

Thank you.

[@angelsrosena]

Setting myself free some things I was able to forgive while others I was able to let them go by understanding why.

[@Kamal-ju6qx]

👌

[@nobutterinhell]

that person is a victim of their own suffering understand deep suffering you can forgive more easily oooh yeah i love the pleasure of suffering

[@queunlimited4779]

Yes, recognize, forgive but helping another is not your responsibility. It's their responsibility. Yours is not to add to there's...OR YOURS. Help by being a good example 🙏

[@adiyajnadas2226]

Thank you!!!

[@kathleenwharton2139]

Jesus Said..”Forgive and you shall be Forgiven.” Love and Bless your enemy. Do good. Pray for them.” I just Ask God to Bless EveryOne! That includes my friends and my enemies. Best advice I ever recieved! It is not always easy.

[@rocioguevaraobando9075]

Gracias

[@kennedylynn2112]

thank you

[@graceacer9369]

Thank you

[@user-ch8dk6vy2y]

I would said giving away what you already understood, to those who still in agony is not that difficult right ?

[@Abcd_11450]

Only by compassion inside for our self & other's so forgiving can do with ease

[@karlinguk]

Wise teaching. But not sure why so many here feel they need to rehash or repeat or try to improve upon this Monks Dhamma. He has said it all skilfully, so no need to add. Let's not forget he walks the talk.

[@Hoanguyen-lr9fr]

thank you so much

[@roger_isaksson]

I would say; what is there to forgive? Disciples of objective reality is already such a harsh teachers. They do not expect giving or taking any forgiveness. They simply just are in their own imperfection.