Doctor Gabor Mate: The Shocking Link Between Kindness & Illness!

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The Diary Of A CEO

The Diary Of A CEO

Күн бұрын

If you enjoyed this video, you will love my first conversation with Dr Gabor Mate, which you can find here: • Gabor Mate: The Childh...
0:00 Intro
03:45 🤝 How Vocalising Stress Enhances Emotional Control and Understanding
08:03 📵 Importance of Disconnecting: Mental Health and Taking Sabbaticals from the Internet
13:26 🔄 Healing Childhood Wounds: Acknowledging Unmet Needs and Self-Discovery
23:17 💡 Reconnecting with Childhood Intuition: Gut Feelings and Emotional Clarity
24:36 🧠 Gut-Brain Connection: Childhood Trauma and Grounding Techniques
27:50 🤝 Autoimmune Diseases and Emotional Patterns: Breaking the Cycle
30:57 💑 Emotional Intimacy in Relationships: Avoiding Mothering Dynamics
37:34 🤝 Suppressing Healthy Anger and its Impact on Immunity
43:43 🙅‍♂️ Trauma and Authenticity: Overcoming People-Pleasing Habits
48:41 🧠 Repressed Anger and its Link to Illnesses like ALS
49:08 🩺 ALS Patients' Niceness and its Connection to Health
52:11 🚪 Setting Boundaries: Key to Healing and Self-Discovery
01:00:46 🏥 Preventing Trauma-Related Illnesses: Addressing Emotional Needs
01:11:31 💔 Childhood Experiences and Adult Health: Heart Attacks and Strokes
01:12:28 🧠 Impact of Negative Labels on Self-Worth: Childhood to Adulthood
01:15:26 🙅‍♂️ Childhood Emotional Recognition: Importance of Self-Awareness
01:20:47 🌬️ Shallow Breathing and Chronic Stress
01:24:18 💑 Building Genuine Emotional Intimacy for Meaningful Relationships
01:34:43 🎯 Defining Goals: Work, Health, Relationships, and Emotional Wellness
01:36:06 🤔 Aligning Intentions with Actions: Strengthening Goal-Oriented Living
01:38:27 🧘 Pursuing Inner Peace: Importance of Emotional Harmony and Well-Being
01:44:41 💖 Embracing Vulnerability and Growth: Authenticity in Personal Development
01:46:56 🙏 Gratitude and Connection: Fostering Wholeness and Meaningful Bonds
You can purchase Dr. Mate’s most recent book, ‘The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture’, here: amzn.to/40unjpo
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Пікірлер: 6 200
@TheDiaryOfACEO
@TheDiaryOfACEO 6 ай бұрын
Probably one of the most fascinating experts I’ve ever had the honour of speaking to is back in today’s episode - safe to say my mind was blown once again. If you enjoyed this conversation could you do us a favour and HIT that like button on the video! Helps us a lot ❤ share your favourite part of the convo below 👇🏾
@soulsearchermusicsavedmyli3860
@soulsearchermusicsavedmyli3860 6 ай бұрын
Hey Steven I send you love. Iam a highly senstive female. I love gabor mate. Thanks for having gabor mate on the show again I love your podcast. I do have a question for you Steven did you delete the KZbin video of your Podcast with Russell brand I can't find the full video of your Podcast with Russell brand anywhere. I do love how honest and vulnerable gabor mate is.
@soulsearchermusicsavedmyli3860
@soulsearchermusicsavedmyli3860 6 ай бұрын
@@LauraG1 hello Laura I send you love I am from Australia.iam a Senstive person I don't really care for the royal family that sounds Disgusting to me that people had to buy Prince Harry's book to hear the conversation. On a human level I know that he lost his mum in a tragic way. But I love gabor mate.
@lyndkent-cl2oe
@lyndkent-cl2oe 6 ай бұрын
You have some good guest Steven, (thank you) Gabor Mate is my all time greatest human being. Saved my life this man, I share his knowledge to others, buy GM books for friends....thank you.
@justuscoetzee8104
@justuscoetzee8104 6 ай бұрын
This is your best yet
@ninong7638
@ninong7638 6 ай бұрын
Great interview! The insta link in the info box leads to Tim Spector though 🙃
@dottiebaker6623
@dottiebaker6623 6 ай бұрын
Dr. Mate is the only man I've ever heard admit that most men want their women to accommodate to them, to be the only one who changes in the relationship, instead of taking responsibility for their own emotional development. Thank you! Thank you!! THANK YOU!!!
@007nadineL
@007nadineL 6 ай бұрын
He also stated how much he hates his wife sooooooooo Yeah.. women change or leave because men don't change
@81mandragora
@81mandragora 6 ай бұрын
Sheesh - how comments get used out of context. He talked about a time in their relationship where he wasn’t getting what he wanted and felt he hated her, until he realized it wasn’t up to her to meet that need in him. More nuanced I think then stating ‘he hates his wife’…..
@007nadineL
@007nadineL 6 ай бұрын
@@81mandragora we don't know if he hates her everyday. .. yr not there at his house
@luciennenoel8403
@luciennenoel8403 6 ай бұрын
J’aime cet interview et mieux comprendre Harry….Merci au Dr Gabor
@enraegen561
@enraegen561 6 ай бұрын
He also eludes to that the patriarchy is basically giving women cancer. 😂
@mindyourplants
@mindyourplants 6 ай бұрын
I met him going through rehab in 2018 and he also interviewed us at the women's recovery house a few months later. I have read his book "In the realm of hungry ghosts" prior and that was the very beginning of my spiritual journey of recovery and self-love. Been clean and solid for 4 years now.
@vilaronga23
@vilaronga23 6 ай бұрын
Great advance! Thank you for sharing
@papabear2515
@papabear2515 6 ай бұрын
Good for you!
@TT-cj3ek
@TT-cj3ek 6 ай бұрын
Congratulations on your recovery journey ❤.
@tomikola1864
@tomikola1864 6 ай бұрын
God bless you. I'm a 51 yr old guy and my demon is pills. I'm trying hard but it's not easy. I'm glad you did it. Maybe I will too one day. Hello from Toronto
@carolbroome6559
@carolbroome6559 6 ай бұрын
@@tomikola1864🙏🏼😘
@JoyceHAnderson-rp5bf
@JoyceHAnderson-rp5bf 3 ай бұрын
I'm 80 years old and this video above just drastically changed my life!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I could write a thousand thank you's here I would, right now! Only recently by watching youtube videos about adhd, I've learned that I"ve had all the symptoms all my life and have carried tons of guilt because I never could "fit in" with "normal" people even though I tried so hard to. Suddenly you explained that not ever being hugged as a child, and being ignored by my parents as I grew up, and hearing the cruel arguing my parents hurt each other with, caused me to learn how to "zone out" under any stressful circumstances, and so hyperfocusing on favorite subjects also takes me away from facing head on with any perceived difficulties. I won't take time to mention all the other ADHD symptoms. Suddenly, I completely understand why I am the way I am, and that it's NOT MY FAULT! What a shock and at the same time, what a relief! Now at last I can begin healing. Whew!
@lj9524
@lj9524 3 ай бұрын
Your reply brought tears to my eyes. We don’t realize it but there are millions of children like you (us) in the US and the world. Much happiness and live to you in your remaining years on earth ((hug))💕
@user-zz6qo2jr3z
@user-zz6qo2jr3z 3 ай бұрын
@@lj9524 trauma most people have traumas it is impossible not to have some kind of trauma so we have to learn to live with trauma is not ones fault but we must take steps to make life easier with trauma.. .... in Harries case well he is just one of many millions of people with trauma I do not feel sorry for him at all ... he has it all
@stephensibley
@stephensibley 3 ай бұрын
Yes u can...
@jessmedina252
@jessmedina252 2 ай бұрын
same here as an adult I learned about Bipolarism and understood I why I had a certain pattern of behavior in my earlier days. I finally connected the dots.
@JoyceHAnderson-rp5bf
@JoyceHAnderson-rp5bf 2 ай бұрын
I think I should add that when I put all this information together with all the other things I've learned over the years studying the human brain and how heridity and environment sculpt so many people, I no longer can judge anyone. I don't have their dna and I don't have their life experiences and I don't have their brain wiring. I may not approve of some things folks do, but I still care as I wonder what happened to make them that a way. For the first time I can understand God's unconditional love for us all .
@Calibri57
@Calibri57 3 ай бұрын
Truth! If you can’t afford therapy, educate yourself, empower yourself. No one else will.
@elainec5333
@elainec5333 6 ай бұрын
If you don’t make time for wellness, you’ll be forced to make time for illness. Big part of wellness is setting boundaries.
@jujub6839
@jujub6839 6 ай бұрын
This is a spectacular statement ❤ May I quote you (and give you credit)?
@Karkussss
@Karkussss 6 ай бұрын
I recently obtained my massage license, and I seek to solve for why massage is out of reach as a treatment option.
@GinaR21212
@GinaR21212 6 ай бұрын
It's also about genetics, My mother was related to the Hatfields and McCoys, the McCoys had von Hipple lindow syndrome, My mother died from cancer, my uncle died from lung cancer, my aunt died from breast cancer I have two cousins that never smoke that have both had double mastectomies, I have adrenal insufficiency All the records can be found at Vanderbilt University in Tennessee. The Hatfields and McCoys have been in this country for over 300 years.
@ReligionAndMaterialismDebunked
@ReligionAndMaterialismDebunked 6 ай бұрын
:3 :p Nice. Fellow Jewish brother, Gabor Maté, that I've been a big fan of for several months. 😅🤝🤝🤝 Yes! Corrupt, and plastic (pun intended) society.
@halieblair8769
@halieblair8769 6 ай бұрын
@claudiahowell9508
@claudiahowell9508 6 ай бұрын
When I grew up my mother used to say children should been seen but not heard. Ugh. It has taken me most of my 74 years to speak up for myself. Thank you for your compassion.
@vogeljennifer6318
@vogeljennifer6318 6 ай бұрын
same here
@ksc743
@ksc743 6 ай бұрын
Same..66 yrs old but what I will say is, judging by the people I know, we are better parents than our parents were.
@vonnytighe517
@vonnytighe517 6 ай бұрын
Me too!
@KiwikimNZ
@KiwikimNZ 6 ай бұрын
Claudia …. I hear you :) ❤ hugs
@cameronblack7984
@cameronblack7984 6 ай бұрын
British by any chance? I've heard this too... It seems the British culture has learned the behaviours that cause trauma as actual positives. Stiff upper lip for example.
@Theowlhawk
@Theowlhawk 4 ай бұрын
Dr. Gabor Mate, is a human being, his humanness is raw, honest and sincere.
@mk9330
@mk9330 Ай бұрын
This is so spot on, when I started to say no and stop people pleasing I thrived, I stopped getting sick all the time, and what is very interesting my StepFather died of ALS and he always dropped everything to help people and please people. This was so mind blowing to watch, when I started to think about me and what I need and stopped worrying about being liked my life honestly changed, Thank you Dr Gabor you have made me think about more growth I have todo.
@TheDiaryOfACEO
@TheDiaryOfACEO Ай бұрын
Really happy to hear this one resonated with you! Thank you for sharing with us. Team DOAC 🙏
@kentstout9516
@kentstout9516 Ай бұрын
@gorkyd7912
@gorkyd7912 25 күн бұрын
100% of people will die. So if I say that people who are selfish will die I will also be proven correct, 100% of the time. Is this science now?
@jenniferfulljames1685
@jenniferfulljames1685 6 ай бұрын
I was taught to not speak and keep your eyes down. My mother was Cree, and we were dirt poor. My father was an Irish alcoholic who hated anyone of colour... we were beaten and scorned at school and at home. I had to find forgiveness or my life would have probably ended years ago. At 60 I can honestly say, that self love and understanding you are not your parents trauma nor their parents (as Gabor states) find peace, find balance and don't take any crap from anyone is my motto, especially after menopause! I am here for a very long time to come, I am living proof you can change your life. Think good thoughts, eat whole clean foods, sleep well and exercise, lift heavy weights and walk!!! Thanks, guys! ❤
@hexxan007
@hexxan007 6 ай бұрын
Your strong power radiates from my screen! 😀 ♥ !!!
@nikiichan
@nikiichan 6 ай бұрын
What does forgiveness look like for you? I grew up in a bad household similar to your description. I eat health, exercise, practice CBT, journaling and give myself the opportunities I wasn't given as a child. My parents seem to think that forgiveness means moving on forgetting the past and acting as though everything is alright, never bringing it up. I do not have that on me. It makes me doubt I have forgiven because I cannot just act like abuse never happened it will always be something that shaped me. I would like to learn from you to improve myself 🙏
@jenniferfulljames1685
@jenniferfulljames1685 6 ай бұрын
​@@nikiichanI am sorry to hear you are struggling. I think for myself, I was truly Blessed with an amaxing therapist who helped me tremendously. She used EMDR for some of the sessions and that significantly changed things for me. Have you read any of Dr. Gabor's books? I highly recommend "The Myth of Normal" for anyone looking to heal their past. You know my dear, you cannot forgive others until you forgive yourself. I had intense anger which could turn to rage very easily. I needed to understand that anger was my release of the pressure I built up inside ( not dealing with the issues) I spent years care taking others and being unable to say no yet being pissed off at everyone for it. Anger felt good, which is another thing that stunts your growth right? You don't mention whether you have a therapist, I know for myself that it took many years to heal and there are still some things that can have me looking in the rear view mirror but those are now minimal and quick to resolve today. There are no quick fixes, you have to dig deep and with someone who is licensed to provide the proper therapy. I wish you much success at finding your way to healing your past, nothing to lose however everything to gain. Read everything by Gabor and listen to everything on youtube, it is free and very good info. ❤
@jenniferfulljames1685
@jenniferfulljames1685 6 ай бұрын
​@@nikiichanI forgot to answer your first question "what does forgiveness look like for you" For myself it is FREEDOM, untying those shackles that bound that little girl to an existence that smothered and left so many scars. It helped me see that my abusers were also wounded, they too needed to heal and they did the best they could with what they knew. I forgave however I will never forget, that's a good thing as it reminds me to keep striving to be a better, kinder person. There is far too much going on in the world, we need to do everything in our power to keep our Spirit shining bright. We are all too worthy to dim our light or play small. You were meant for great things, help yourself to heal once and for all. ❤
@hexxan007
@hexxan007 6 ай бұрын
@@nikiichan You did not ask me and my childhood was not good, but probably not as difficult as yours. But i've been through the process of forgiving my parents. I could forgive them when i was almost 50, it was the first time i could see them as just people. People who had lived through their own struggles and had come out damaged themselves. I am damaged, too. I do my best to do the best i can but i know it is not always "good" or "right" what i do... And then i try to forgive myself, too, and i try to do better the next time. Love to you.
@johnmcgrath6192
@johnmcgrath6192 6 ай бұрын
My mother was a very kind woman who lived to a healthy old age. She was also strong and capable of expressing her anger. She was also rational and well educated and used anger to put a stop to stupid, mean or unjust behavior or to get a problem out in the open so it could be resolved. For instance, she once burst into the office of the President of her huge corporation, looked right in the eye, and said, "You cheap bastard." He was startled but had the sense to ask, "What's the matter?" They had a civil rational conversation regarding the policy announced that day that a person's years of part time work would not count towards the company's pension. After their conversation there was an announcement the next day that part time work would count towards the company's pension.
@strawberrylove5684
@strawberrylove5684 6 ай бұрын
Your mom sounds wonderful, I wish I’d had more role models like her
@LovinLnCottage
@LovinLnCottage 6 ай бұрын
As a lifelong equestrian, I call this action the “chain across the nose and 2 sharp jerks” to get the attention of a recalcitrant stallion.😁😉
@StBrigidsTempleHEALING
@StBrigidsTempleHEALING 6 ай бұрын
I want to hear more about that woman!
@niceknow7493
@niceknow7493 6 ай бұрын
Ur mum is amazing
@moonolyth
@moonolyth 6 ай бұрын
Your Mom was lucky she was not given a shovel or fired. But yes good for her and her people. Most I've had the privlage of working with in that model have been cand or worked and fired...like a cop can find any reason to cuff you..if they feel unsafe❤
@lewishammond1
@lewishammond1 5 ай бұрын
Gabor is brilliant. I am on a journey to self-enlighten after being diagnosed with Bipolar, ADHD and other Disorders at 36. The biggest change was applying some of what Gabor said, letting go of my emotions, being self-aware, learning, focusing on my mental and physical health. I turn 41 next month and listening to podcasts like this gives me hope.
@caroleminke6116
@caroleminke6116 4 ай бұрын
Don’t just let go of the emotions but observe them passing through you & you’re on your way to discovering the power within ❤
@lmiller1413
@lmiller1413 4 ай бұрын
Best wishes on your journey. The world is not kind to those of us with executive dysfunctions. Be kind to yourself when others are not.
@surferdude4487
@surferdude4487 4 ай бұрын
Have you looked into Daniel Amen? He has also appeared on this podcast. He is the pioneer of linking active brain-scans to mental health. He also has a lot of useful advice about how to protect your brain and actively help your most important organ to be healthy.
@mswonder1970
@mswonder1970 2 ай бұрын
This MAN !!! Is just too big for words ! His raw honesty and authenticity is off the charts and how can he publicly be so naked about his own issues. Bow down! Love you Gabor!❤️🙏
@camileytv
@camileytv Ай бұрын
I'm doing same! I was diagnosed emotional disorder caused by substances, with psychotic symptoms. Working on myself with meditation and self awareness
@jessejules2092
@jessejules2092 4 ай бұрын
I was shamed by my father for being an overly sensitive child. I was abused physically and mentally through neglect and verbal abuse. UNTIL I learned through reading about psychology and self help, that my sensitivity is a gift. I think it is very important for women to familiarize themselves with terms such as 'condesention' 'shaming' 'undermining' 'gaslighting' 'standover tactics' 'dismissive' 'loaded language' 'belittling' etc, in order to challenge the attitudes and behaviors of others towards them so that they can then hold to account what is wrong in a situation, but also challenge their own internal dialogue.
@friedaangaine1246
@friedaangaine1246 4 ай бұрын
Is there a book you can recommend? I haven’t read any of his books, but sure to look out for them
@jenifernadeau
@jenifernadeau 4 ай бұрын
yes they want to demonize your individuality. Your light scares THEIR darkness. that's all. They KNOW your light and dont want u to shine it...YOUR perception is all that matters, no one, especially family should be put on a pedestal. They're only meant to stay in our lives long enough to teach us BIG lessons, then our true soul tribe shows up as we raise our frequencies...focusing on self love allows for increased trust in our intuition/angels/Higher Self, etc. We are powerful sovereign light beings.. families represent the institutions, govt/media/education etc that we will encounter as tests to learn to see thru the manipulations/coercion/illusions that we survived in childhood.
@user-xe7sw2dh1f
@user-xe7sw2dh1f 3 ай бұрын
In my case it was my Mother, now I feel sorry for Her because she grew up in a time where this kind of Help was not an option, it also Help me to get rid of the resentment❤ it's nice to feel connected to people when I read the comments❤
@dagmaryork4940
@dagmaryork4940 3 ай бұрын
Elaine Aron - Talks about Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) helped me tremendously.
@user-xe7sw2dh1f
@user-xe7sw2dh1f 3 ай бұрын
Same here, I finally understood that if I learned to Chanel it Properly it can become a sort of super power
@kays3956
@kays3956 6 ай бұрын
This session won my subscription. I had a surgery 3 months back. Immediately after my surgery, I read and listened to Gabor Mate's "When the Body Says No". I cried so deeply because his book struck my core. I understood immediately what caused my current state of being. After a time of reflection and a deep desire to heal and recuperate, I made a difficult decision to leave my work and cut down losses in my relationships. It is a deeply scary move but I felt lighter and at peace as a result.
@strawberrylove5684
@strawberrylove5684 6 ай бұрын
I’m so happy for you that you’ve been able to make those changes! I know from experience that it’s hard to make the move to cut friends who drain you
@kimdavis5403
@kimdavis5403 6 ай бұрын
Difficult choices but absolutely necessary! Good for you!!!
@michaelluu915
@michaelluu915 6 ай бұрын
I don't believe you cut down on your relationships, I believe you focused your time on those that matter. You don't have to respond to this comment since your time is precious. Have a beautiful day!
@call_in_sick
@call_in_sick 6 ай бұрын
Self care ❤
@kays3956
@kays3956 6 ай бұрын
@@michaelluu915 in a way you are right. i decided to honour my introvert self and not try so hard to be an extrovert anymore. I focus on genuine telationships and not try so hard to please others. its difficult at first but once i gave myself permission i really honour my time and my needs. Thanks for your comment.
@jjm559
@jjm559 6 ай бұрын
Can this guy get a noble peace prize please! just the fact that he makes us seem understood is tremendously healing....
@Zookeeper.
@Zookeeper. 6 ай бұрын
So many Nobel winners... And I have the feeling this is going to be a busy year for a LOOOOT of us.
@denisemartinez9142
@denisemartinez9142 6 ай бұрын
@CarlJAshley
@CarlJAshley 6 ай бұрын
no they give those to presidents who bomb and kill the most women and children!
@rosehill9537
@rosehill9537 6 ай бұрын
Can we nominate him?
@teresaheinz9785
@teresaheinz9785 6 ай бұрын
No ok😅😮
@HealthySelfHealthyWorldLLC
@HealthySelfHealthyWorldLLC 5 ай бұрын
Love the bit about how moms may have to make a choice between their 3-month old baby or the 35-year-old baby. 🎉❤❤❤ Truer words were never said. ✨🙏🏽✨ Thank you, Dr.
@Padraigp
@Padraigp 4 ай бұрын
As a single mom who often complained when my kids were small I learned quickly that I was lucky to not have that to deal with on top of two kids.
@lmiller1413
@lmiller1413 4 ай бұрын
Women hope for a 35 year old who prioritizes children the same way we do.
@laurapavone3513
@laurapavone3513 2 ай бұрын
They always choose the 35 year old baby, babies with power are the popular ones.
@laurapavone3513
@laurapavone3513 2 ай бұрын
​@@lmiller1413ahahahah
@willow4587
@willow4587 2 ай бұрын
I'd much rad
@tambrancehuisinga616
@tambrancehuisinga616 27 күн бұрын
Thank you for a fascinating conversation. Emotionally, physically and sexually abused by a parent with RAD and who was a sociopath, I am a non-smoker who at 65 was diagnosed with NSCL cancer, stage 4. The discussion and reference to NSCL cancer cancertoday rang all of my bells. I am still a “pleaser” but I have found my “voice.” And, when my date of anticipated death was pronounced by excellent oncologists, God made a way. Two ORAL medications inactivated the cancer. In May, I will have survived SIX years, instead of the few months I was given in 2018.
@barba7741
@barba7741 6 ай бұрын
I am the 4 th of nine children. I felt, and still feel, invisible in my family. At age 72. This is really speaking to me.
@SisterFleurElinora
@SisterFleurElinora 6 ай бұрын
Wow ! I hope you felt visible with someone else. Do you think it's better to have less children in this day and age?? I wanted 6 but I'm reconsidering
@jillgaumet8416
@jillgaumet8416 6 ай бұрын
I was 5th of 6 kids. I can relate.
@barba7741
@barba7741 6 ай бұрын
It has taken me many years to even realize how minimized I felt in my family, and to step away from that toxicity. As to your question, I can't really say. But these days I am relating to the word - Validation. No matter how many there are, take time to see, hear, validate, and love each one. When there are conflicts, validate each point of view, and teach them how to see and cherish the truth in each point of view. Teach them to listen with love, how to apologize, and how to forgive. Growing up in 9 was a good experience in many ways. But my parents were WWII generation. They didn't talk about feelings, at all. They taught us how to share, to 'get along', to go along, to sit down and be quiet. I still have difficulty knowing what I want, and making decisions. Best wishes to you, and your family. @@SisterFleurElinora
@jbyrd2401
@jbyrd2401 6 ай бұрын
I am last of 9 siblings, we do feel invisible; not heard & lost in the crowd. Just another mouth to feed. Exhausted parents. All just surviving, constant stress... less is best. I have one daughter, love her dearly.
@mattlittleton5137
@mattlittleton5137 6 ай бұрын
I was 4th of 5 and definitely can understand what you mean.
@user-uf4op2en4u
@user-uf4op2en4u 6 ай бұрын
This is so true! A few years ago I went through a very tough year where our family suffered from lots of stressful events and I tried to be kind and calm and keep everyone together with a smile on my face but inside I felt very overwhelmed. I didn't know who to talk to so I kept everything bottled up and then I suddenly got very sick, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease (psoriatic arthritis) told that it was very aggressive and that the only treatment was to take very harmful drugs to suppress my immune system. I was very ill, I started taking the methotrexate 2 days a week, my fingers were so disfigured and painful that I could barely use them and I'm an artist so that was even more difficult and then I realised that this was all caused by my mind. I started to meditate, I became a vegan, and one evening I was talking to my husband and suddenly found myself crying and told him that I was afraid he would leave me if I was sick (my dad left my mom when she was sick when I was very small). I remember saying "I'm scared you won't want me if I'm not useful" and he laughed and gave me a big hug and said "Who said you've ever been useful? I don't love you because you're useful I love you for you" and then a miracle happened. I never realised that I was trying to be helpful and kind and useful all the time because I was afraid of being left and in that moment it felt like a festering splinter that had been there all my life was finally pulled out and I felt light and free. It's been five years, I am living the most amazing life, I feel free, I am 100% healthy. My husband and I are having an amazing adventure together, this year we moved half way across the world and every day feels exciting and new. Thank you both for this brilliant video life is beautiful xxx
@YogaBlissDance
@YogaBlissDance 6 ай бұрын
@user-uf4op2en4u YOU NEED TO SHARE YOUR STORY on some of the HEALING CHANNELS! I truly believe 90 percent of illness is emotion/mind caused. Blessings to you on going deep to heal.
@sallymander7863
@sallymander7863 6 ай бұрын
That is really good to hear, thank you and bless you. ❤️❤️👍🏻
@betsyheimel3336
@betsyheimel3336 6 ай бұрын
cool
@betsyheimel3336
@betsyheimel3336 6 ай бұрын
@@sallymander7863 lol no 0p
@starrbowie8649
@starrbowie8649 6 ай бұрын
Thank you very much for sharing your experience so expressively. It teally resonated with me and will help me in the future, I feel sure. My best to you always....
@alexc659
@alexc659 5 ай бұрын
Gabor mate is the light we need in this world. His compassionate work has changed my life and I am forever grateful for his presence and work.
@katisugarbaker7349
@katisugarbaker7349 2 ай бұрын
Dr. Mate said there is a correlation between “niceness” and cancer NOT kindness and cancer. These are 2 very very different things. One can be both nice and kind at the same time but nice is just how others perceive someone. Kind is a quality of character.
@bonim5180
@bonim5180 10 күн бұрын
My goodness i was thinking the same thing. Words are facinating,they have hidden meanings,i have discovered a whole new world studying words🖖🏼
@hexxan007
@hexxan007 6 ай бұрын
Gabor Maté is the most profound example of a wounded healer i've ever seen. I am extremely grateful that he's been all over the place lately. His knowledge is part of what this world needs in order to be able to heal. I can warmly recommend his book "The Myth of Normal" and i am spreading copies wherever i can. Edit: I love his wife Rae, too. She who said "Truth is sexy." Now ain't that one sexy truth! :-D
@inthebackyardwithzoemachun6035
@inthebackyardwithzoemachun6035 6 ай бұрын
Spread the love to me. I wish I could get the book, too.
@spiritual2020
@spiritual2020 6 ай бұрын
Me too. So glad I was introduced to this non last year
@hexxan007
@hexxan007 6 ай бұрын
@@inthebackyardwithzoemachun6035 Hi dear, i replied earlier but that reply "mysteriously" disappeared. I've sent you a bunch of universal love and wished i could send you the book, too. Please check it out, maybe you could afford to buy it, maybe together with a friend, or a few friends? Big hug!
@janmitchell641
@janmitchell641 6 ай бұрын
Rae is also a fabulous artist. We have a few of her very joyful and whimsical prints.
@rachellemaerosario
@rachellemaerosario 6 ай бұрын
Would love to have one!
@bl3524
@bl3524 6 ай бұрын
this man always hits the nail. Not knowing to say NO has gotten me into so much trouble. I learned to say NO when I got sick and started caring for myself.
@earthlingsandy
@earthlingsandy 6 ай бұрын
Good for you and remember, it's ok to put ourselves first thus say no when it doesn't feel right because if we're not good to ourselves how can we be good to anyone else. God bless! 🙏🏽
@Bronte866
@Bronte866 6 ай бұрын
I believe higher beings watch over you closely, and you have been guided to care for yourself, to give you care you deserve and didn’t get your deserved portion of earlier. Our journeys have only just begun. This is but a short diversion to the next adventure. That’s what I believe anyway. ☘️
@debbieketchem194
@debbieketchem194 6 ай бұрын
Same Here
@amani1096
@amani1096 5 ай бұрын
It took me 38 yrs but yes...same here
@mariaarenas4181
@mariaarenas4181 5 ай бұрын
Taking into account the murders the doctors statements can only be correct
@PascaleMarin
@PascaleMarin 5 ай бұрын
I had a lot of respect for Dr Mate before seeing this video, as he helped me so much bringing long lasting burning issues to the surface, but after hearing him now, so honest, so transparent with his feelings, I feel a deep admiration for the man. I look up to him in the hope I could live my life with such radical honesty one day. What an example!
@meahrey
@meahrey 5 ай бұрын
Books he reccomended - His, then No Bad Parts, The Body Keeps Score, Waking The Tiger: On Trauma, What Happened To You, The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog (1:04:25 )
@fabirocha.locutora
@fabirocha.locutora 5 ай бұрын
It struck me to see how humble and honest Gabor is when he talks about his own mistakes. Wow !!
@MsQ275
@MsQ275 5 ай бұрын
that's called maturity, it's very rare and that's why it's amazing to see
@notbaltic280
@notbaltic280 5 ай бұрын
It´s called a well trodden performance.
@layloxxx4196
@layloxxx4196 5 ай бұрын
Exact thoughts!! Right from the start
@truthstumbled4d1
@truthstumbled4d1 4 ай бұрын
but talking about people in a public forum who did not consent to it, who he probally never met or does not personally know, is unprofessional imo.
@sangeet9100
@sangeet9100 4 ай бұрын
It's terrible how every bit of your action in public is perceived as a performance that's expected to be perfect and appeasing. There's no acceptance of mistakes even though everyone makes mistakes all the time, rehearsed or not. Individuality has faded; it's all a mass behavior
@nicolemcelroy6758
@nicolemcelroy6758 6 ай бұрын
I love that Gabor, somebody revered for having the answers and enlightened clarity on humans deepest, most hidden issues can openly say he's just figuring life out too. Humbling, reassuring.
@skittles2055
@skittles2055 6 ай бұрын
👍😊
@LareinaP
@LareinaP 6 ай бұрын
Super reassuring! ❤
@zulusoso
@zulusoso 6 ай бұрын
I agree. It means so much more to me that he's honest about his humanity.
@virgilkirschner5717
@virgilkirschner5717 6 ай бұрын
When asked how are you doing, your answer images what most of us are going through. We are up, we are down. Although we enjoy the UPS. We must learn to cope with the downside.❤
@stacyfiske7903
@stacyfiske7903 6 ай бұрын
Add to this that you NEVER "figure out life," you just get better at it as you become aware of yourself... your true, authentic self.
@ajurch9992
@ajurch9992 2 ай бұрын
This man is a genius - ever since I came across him - he's the only person where what he says has actually clicked and explained so much about my life and makes things make sence
@daynajoe
@daynajoe 13 күн бұрын
Yes! He’s a great soul!!! Such a Genius!!✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
@LaraBurn
@LaraBurn 3 ай бұрын
The moment when this great and unbelievably wise man asks ‘am I talking too much’ is so endearing. Fantastic episode. Dr Mate is an international treasure ❤
@pelilin2519
@pelilin2519 6 ай бұрын
If you are too disagreeable you become psychopath or narcissist. If you are too agreeable people abuse you. I think what every psychologist will agree is that we need to keep things in balance.
@danthelambboy
@danthelambboy 6 ай бұрын
We don't need to but balance is nice. Some people don't and can't resolve their imbalance, that's not to say their experience is invalid
@dan44zzt231
@dan44zzt231 6 ай бұрын
If your naturally agreeable learning to be assertive is very important. Something I have struggled with immensely.
@deborahcurtis1385
@deborahcurtis1385 6 ай бұрын
Great but to be fair that's the easy bit. The problem is the how. It's about how to resolve the problems and blocking patterns that are unconscious and are actually bad for you both physically and psychologically. As Mate says, this is not about mind control or about directing your life in only a logical way, rather it's about integrating with the intuition or 'gut feelings'.
@williamdistasio9358
@williamdistasio9358 6 ай бұрын
I love the comment sections of this channels videos. Always so many opinions and insights from all over the world, and, it's really nice and refreshing to hear healthy, fun, caring debating, caring opinions, and caring towards one another in general. But I do wonder though, why is it so much easier (for me anyway and many others I've observed too, over the years) to, write how I (we) feel? And sometimes, to write passionately, to a person, or people, strangers and/or ppl I (we) know, without reservations and with love and compassion in my (our) heart's.... yet, if I'm standing in front of those SAME ppl, I might have a sudden fear of speaking those same words I could so easily and eloquently write..... What's that about?
@danthelambboy
@danthelambboy 6 ай бұрын
@@dan44zzt231 agreeable people sometimes don't serve others as well as they think they do, being progressive and health minded in our own life's creates more interesting and productive lives for us which others can appreciate, there are many ways to provide for others, being too agreeable can mean not progressing ourselves and bringing others along. It can be harder for others to feel secure around the agreeable as they often won't challenge others to grow when they need, they can tolerate others being stuck in misery while they provide niceness rather than progressive wisdom
@szilviasulyos
@szilviasulyos 6 ай бұрын
I went to the event he said he did not do his best. It was one of the best event I ever been to, I was in tears. Honestly, I will always remember of that evening and what he and his wife said. 😊❤
@hexxan007
@hexxan007 6 ай бұрын
Now this is a comment under a YT video i'm sure he would love to read!
@anitapaul230
@anitapaul230 Ай бұрын
Try to convey it to him❤
@annecliatt7276
@annecliatt7276 4 ай бұрын
I discovered Gabor Mate about 8 years ago when doing a deep dive into trauma. I found his teachings and speaking to be so healing. In recent years, I've struggled a bit with him because he has appeared so clearly ill and depressed - it was like, it didn't add up. Here he talks about resolving the myth of his public persona and his private life and how his wife really required it of him. I love that he can be so brutally honest about his own frailties and growth. You can physically see the peace and healing that has occurred within him. 💚
@Sdween
@Sdween 2 ай бұрын
This. I see much of this. I remember telling psychologist in my 12 steps group CBT group who were treating people with various MH conditions (like ASD and trauma) with CBT that perhaps these people would benefit better from people like Brene Brown and Gabor Mate, I think this was around 2017… I couldn’t believe the prescribed therapy simply instructed people to tap into whether they feel angry and then blow bubbles - there was no learning or growth - it was teachings for 9 year olds. While people were suffering - going to work while very ill, working while very ill, working to earn £100 pw, paying £40 for therapy, £50 for chiropractic therapy, having £60 for groceries and then told by CBT group therapy to blow bubbles when you’re stressed. Meanwhile the healthcare neglects to check the patient who has severe health issues - because they seemingly are functioning. Later of course turns out patient is rather severely ill.
@annanas1657
@annanas1657 4 ай бұрын
Gabor is so generous sharing in such detail everything, holding nothing back, breaking it down into easy to understand. So much he says is true in my experience. He’s a genius.
@chocolatelover13
@chocolatelover13 5 ай бұрын
YES! Recognizing trauma is not an excuse to continue the behavior, but to overcome it
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 5 ай бұрын
can be hard to face, but its so true! ❤
@stevietalk1
@stevietalk1 4 ай бұрын
I’ve done the work .. 2 decades of healing work ( from childhood trauma) while I lived everyday life … I only have 1 life, I’m responsible for learning, grieving & healing.. ❤ It seems hard at times, but working through this stuff is SO liberating - FREEDOM ❤️‍🩹 to 💝 = 💪🎉
@louisedevries4090
@louisedevries4090 4 ай бұрын
Amen
@21Sally
@21Sally 4 ай бұрын
Well said!👍🏼
@Stormyweld05
@Stormyweld05 4 ай бұрын
Absolutely!
@rachf9695
@rachf9695 6 ай бұрын
Anyone notice him ask if he was talking too much? Cause Steven was listening so contently as he always does that Gabor wasn't sure if he was out of line! Steven has a keen ability to allow his guests to be authentic as he listens and asks questions that continue to level up these incredible podcast! ❤❤❤
@snowyowl6892
@snowyowl6892 6 ай бұрын
… listening so intently 👈🏿
@marzpoolea5752
@marzpoolea5752 6 ай бұрын
Compassionate listening - it's a 'thing some of us do'
@ingridtenboske
@ingridtenboske 4 ай бұрын
Thank you both so much for this clarity. Two years ago i had cancer. I am fully recovered now but still dealing with the aftermath of the chemotherapy. This talk gave me a deepening in my healing journey. Deep gratitude ❤
@BB8284
@BB8284 2 ай бұрын
Gabor Maté always speaking to my soul. I love him.
@katewilliams60
@katewilliams60 6 ай бұрын
I LOVE Gabor’s transparency and examples from his own life.
@Isragirl10
@Isragirl10 6 ай бұрын
For a therapist, it’s very unprofessional and self absorbed to enter his private examples into every clinical situation and explain everything through the lense of his personal experience. It’s actually very narcissistic. Some people work very hard and can handle fame. For others fame becomes their Achilles heel. I think he is the latter. I find his work important, but his persona tedious and self absorbed.
@RainbowSunshineRain
@RainbowSunshineRain 6 ай бұрын
@@Isragirl10 he's not doing therapy in interviews ... why the strong judgement? His transparency has helped me a lot, and other as well, that it's ok to be human. If you don't like it, you can just look away.
@dkdoodle
@dkdoodle 6 ай бұрын
@@Isragirl10that applies to a therapy session. He is not being a therapist here. Also he is a medical doctor, not a therapist!
@sirena6590
@sirena6590 6 ай бұрын
@@Isragirl10girl i’m autistic as hell and his comparison really helped me, he’s being interviewed it’s not that serious
@MMimi-mg4qt
@MMimi-mg4qt 5 ай бұрын
Transparency is called honesty?
@mariascalise
@mariascalise 6 ай бұрын
I loved the message that nobody is broken, that we can all recover our genuine self 💯
@twilit
@twilit 6 ай бұрын
i do too and i’m hopeful we will all have access to support and tools to do so. we develop in relationship with others and it takes relationships with others to heal. for too long access to therapeutic relationships especially non mainstream that recognizes somatic and trauma and the like has been completely out of financial reach for those who need it most. i’m hopeful this is changing.
@jasonjenkins5857
@jasonjenkins5857 6 ай бұрын
That was my favorite part.
@elydan6049
@elydan6049 6 ай бұрын
Yes I also learned that our dearest body works day and night to support us and we do not respect it and often offend it...
@misspattifromcali.6955
@misspattifromcali.6955 3 ай бұрын
My son.... 37 now... Fits this description to a tea. Now I'm in tears.... I raised him by myself. I had NO CLUE. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
@gillhall7590
@gillhall7590 2 ай бұрын
Do not blame yourself.
@misspattifromcali.6955
@misspattifromcali.6955 2 ай бұрын
@@gillhall7590 I'm trying really hard not to.
@forestnymph8401
@forestnymph8401 Ай бұрын
Me too. We didn’t know and did our best and at some point they are adults that have to overcome their tramas. We did.
@misspattifromcali.6955
@misspattifromcali.6955 Ай бұрын
@@forestnymph8401 I'm trying
@sjohnson4675
@sjohnson4675 Ай бұрын
I had to take a nap halfway through this, but not because I was bored. It's wonderful hearing someone confirm that you are on the right path. I've been working on myself nonstop, and someone else understands. It's overwhelming
@Pigmyta
@Pigmyta 6 ай бұрын
Mister Mate is so humble. To be so wise and yet still be able to admit own faults, that is the true mastery worth following!
@edelgyn2699
@edelgyn2699 6 ай бұрын
Don't you admit faults? It's not unusual for people to share poor decisions...
@Pigmyta
@Pigmyta 6 ай бұрын
@@edelgyn2699 You live in a nice reality if you presume this is a standard, congratz! :)
@maryannestevenson5993
@maryannestevenson5993 6 ай бұрын
I agree. I’m encouraged.
@007nadineL
@007nadineL 6 ай бұрын
Dr.
@joanndaprile9076
@joanndaprile9076 6 ай бұрын
@@007nadineL I agree. He earned the title Doctor and it is his title, Doctor Mate, and not Mister.
@homovitreus9427
@homovitreus9427 6 ай бұрын
Reading list spontaneously mentioned by Gabor on trauma recovery • Richard Schwartz - No Bad Parts • Bessel van der Kolk - The Body Keeps the Score • Peter Levine - Waking the Tiger • Bruce D. Perry und Oprah Winfrey - What Happend to You? • Bruce D. Perry - The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog • Gabor Maté - When The Body Says No • Gabor Maté - The Myth of Normal
@renatagoncalvesviana8981
@renatagoncalvesviana8981 6 ай бұрын
Thank you for this!
@caroa5097
@caroa5097 6 ай бұрын
Yes thank you! 😊
@melowndes
@melowndes 6 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@debygiannioti4271
@debygiannioti4271 6 ай бұрын
Thank you 🙏
@amb7440
@amb7440 6 ай бұрын
One other GREAT book, I have all these above and feel it has a place in the list. What to Say When You Talk to Yourself. Dr. Shad Helmstetter.
@kristamead3758
@kristamead3758 5 ай бұрын
OMG!! I wish I had seen his video 40 years ago when my mother was diagnosed with ALS. She was TOO nice to everyone!! Thank you for bringing such informative, incredibly -easy- to- listen-to speakers. Your channel is like a free university for living a healthy life and understanding ourselves and each other. Please keep on doing what you are doing. Great interviewing skills. Many Hugs, Krista
@debbiefox4439
@debbiefox4439 Ай бұрын
What an absolutely wonderful very wise kind man thankyou Dr Gaber
@Sabrina-LosAngeles
@Sabrina-LosAngeles 6 ай бұрын
His teachings should be mandatory for any academic curriculum of aspiring MDs. He’s amazing ❤❤. Thank you for this conversation.
@nehasonney
@nehasonney 6 ай бұрын
Emotional self-regulation is the most important life skill. I taught myself the life skills I didn't learn in school. I had to also do a lot of unlea4ning. So I know what you mean in your comment!
@tdarons
@tdarons 6 ай бұрын
Our academic institutions have churned out two generations of doctors who lack insight into the human condition, who have poor attitudes to complex trauma survivors (specifically caused by child sexual abuse), who lack empathy and basic respect, and who willingly subscribe to the doctrines and indoctrination of Big Pharma. This has created an extremely unsafe society in general. I am a Survivor. I speak from personal experience here
@cleestacy
@cleestacy 6 ай бұрын
Yes!!!!!!!!
@jadebel7006
@jadebel7006 6 ай бұрын
This is all lies lol common sense dictates that ppl that are promoting themselves on TV, s0cial media etc n trying to sell you something ..books..lectures..typically are the least credible..they're just trying to make money off of u...these ppl are manipulative oppurtunists trying to make money from you by lying and are damaging ppls minds with their manipulation..n the guy that runs this channel is just a sc*mb@g doing the exact same ...this guy constantly have bad ppl n liars on your channel does he do no research or just have no morals n only care about making £££ I think I know the answer
@Grenzenlosgesund
@Grenzenlosgesund 6 ай бұрын
That is exactly what I am thinking 😀🥰 ...but not only for MD's, also for Teachers, Politicians ...for anybody... there is so much to unlearn and relearn in all areas for all of us
@annabuchanan4256
@annabuchanan4256 6 ай бұрын
Spot on regarding auto immune diseases. I always put everyone’s needs first and programmed to help humanity at the expense of my own needs. I had chronic fatigue for many years but now I’m more balanced but it felt like selfishness at the start, putting my needs before others still feels uncomfortable.
@1epcut
@1epcut 5 ай бұрын
I agree, it's such an accurate observation. I was diagnosed with RA at the age of 32, and I used to be that quiet person my whole life, who rarely expressed anger, rarely cussed, was conflict avoidant and just wanted peace at all costs. And it felt scary and awkward to start showing my dissatisfaction, but to my surprise, most of those situations I thought would end up in a conflict, got resolved without as much as an argument. Seeing that helped me to express myself more openly instead of suppressing everything inside
@majeshna
@majeshna 5 ай бұрын
For me too. Feels unnatural. But if I don't do my best then nobody else will. 💪
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 5 ай бұрын
I am happy to hear that you are feeling more balanced. Best of luck in your continued healing ❤
@24get24give
@24get24give 5 ай бұрын
@@1epcut good for you! hope your health improves, as well!
@1epcut
@1epcut 5 ай бұрын
@@24get24give Thank you, that's very kind ☺
@jayejaye4life
@jayejaye4life 18 күн бұрын
This is so true. i got really sick with pneumonia in December 2023, and it took 2 months to fully recover. after setting boundaries with work and relationship and being able to say no, my health has been so much better i feel so great within myself. Being sick was my body way of telling me to slow down and to take care of myself
@kyliep3479
@kyliep3479 4 ай бұрын
10 mins in and I'm so grateful to hear Garbor in his most humble honesty ❤ Authenticity authenticity authenticity... this is what we need to hear from out thought/spiritual leaders 🙏
@adriennegould7160
@adriennegould7160 6 ай бұрын
Some children never become aware that they have needs. I didn’t realize it until I was in my 50’s. It suddenly dawned on me - “what about my needs”
@katherinewhite3858
@katherinewhite3858 6 ай бұрын
Me too, and trying to communicate that to a domineering husband is impossible. How dare I have needs or wants… He thinks my only purpose is to make his life pleasant.
@adriennegould7160
@adriennegould7160 6 ай бұрын
@@katherinewhite3858 I asked my husband, straight up, that question, I think it shocked him. Another thing, I was working on my computer, I could hear him calling me from the garage to come help him with something, but I needed to finish up what I was doing and yelled back that I’d be there in a minute. Apparently, it wasn’t fast enough for him. He walked in and stood there, angrily talking to me through his teeth with this contorted look on his face. I said, “go look at your face in the mirror, and see how you look when you talk to me, your face is all twisted” He asked me if I were going to help him, I said yes, he said when, and I said, next week. First time I spoke up for myself, but not the last.
@heathergonzalez6890
@heathergonzalez6890 6 ай бұрын
Adrian and Katherine, you might want to check out Glennon Doyle Melton and Elizabeth Gilbert’s work.
@katherinewhite3858
@katherinewhite3858 6 ай бұрын
@@heathergonzalez6890 thank you
@carolynkepler2826
@carolynkepler2826 6 ай бұрын
I had a friend named Ronny who had dyslexia. He was called dummy and stupid by his family and schoolmates. He decided to do what he wanted to; drugs, alcohol, casual relationships, illegitimate children. He became diabetic, had his left leg removed and died a slow miserable death. He was four months older than I am(68) and died 8 yrs ago. He deserved better.
@thomashassall96
@thomashassall96 6 ай бұрын
I suffere abuse from my entire family my whole life, battled drugs, violence and sex addiction and traveling the world aimlessly partying and mixing with all the wrong types completely Lost and spiritually broken. I dropped them all and Will never look back at the scum and I'm happier than I've ever been with someone who loves me despite my faults. Family are mostly not your friends
@selihter
@selihter 6 ай бұрын
Very sad😢
@anthonypape6862
@anthonypape6862 6 ай бұрын
@@thomashassall96 Everyone feels this. It's just a down clycle. When the fun of living in a consequence and human free environment wears off, and it will wear off, you start another chapter. When you're ready. As someone that knows this thinking pretty well, at some point it becomes apparant that the person that cuts himself off from society, in practice or even in thought, is simply breaking the ties with the connections of his own existance. Turning away from the genes that built his body. The ancenstors that created the lanuage in which he thinks, that constructed a system of beliefs he holds as true. The man or woman who breaks this tie has been seen as simply a nothing. Waste. Where the person, in comparison, who has lived the life, beit as the thief, the doctor, the priest, the postitute, the single mother, the homeless man, the rxecutive has aligned themselves with the phrase "to be." I think you'll find that everyone around you no matter how unimpressive they may seem are some how intrinsic to what it really means to be human. The individual is just cell, coming and going like any annonymous cell of the body. But the timeless form remains. I'm still inline with your thinking but I do hope to get here.
@jomarsh6449
@jomarsh6449 6 ай бұрын
He very well may have had hard knocks and odds against him… but somewhere in there, in that mess of his life… he became an adult and had some responsibility at some point , to shoulder his part in that …. Everyone has a back story … everyone has their own boogie-man… we all have to accept some responsibility for own lives !..@Carolynkepler2826
@jomarsh6449
@jomarsh6449 6 ай бұрын
But Dr Gabor… you seem to think it’s okay for Harry to use the traumas in his life to abdicate any responsibility for his present life, and use it as an excuse…. Why?? Why do you give him a pass??
@tamarapasquali3063
@tamarapasquali3063 3 ай бұрын
Cannot get enough of Gabor. Everytime I listen to him I feel like another veil is lifted and I can see clearer.
@babaganouche9605
@babaganouche9605 4 ай бұрын
I came to this video because I am interested in Dr. Gabor Maté's work. I am very impressed with the host of the channel for how good of an interviewer he is and that he also showed vulnerability. It takes a lot of courage and integrity to admit your mistakes. A very good interview all around.
@aarathia
@aarathia 6 ай бұрын
Gabor talks about the compulsion to keep picking up the phone to see if there was anyone who needed him... is so real. Thank you for being authentic as you always are.
@lovefitstudio
@lovefitstudio 6 ай бұрын
I love the vulnerability and honesty of his human experience. ❤️
@kje21
@kje21 5 ай бұрын
I was at the Doxy when he gave that talk he was unhappy about and if that was Gabor on a bad day then we are all in trouble. I was over hearing a conversation with two colleagues, one who’d never heard him speak or read his books. They were very moved and inspired. Despite all his wisdom and knowledge he still doesn’t know or feel fully safe within. Which weirdly gives us all peace and acceptance. Surely. Great episode. Fantastic conversation. I hope the mental health/psychiatry/NHS catch up soon! Much love if you are in fact reading the comments. Although gutted I didn’t see the talk with Prince Harry. The British press are insidious and should be irrelevant. Keep talking and getting the word out there. ❤
@rosemoon8072
@rosemoon8072 8 күн бұрын
" we cant form healthy relationships until we have learned to be alone " so true
@brittrubin9461
@brittrubin9461 6 ай бұрын
We must remember that we all carry not only our own pain but the memories and experiences of all our ancestors ..thank you Gabor and Steven.
@alexaelliott2598
@alexaelliott2598 6 ай бұрын
If you believe that you need to change your mindset. This type of thinking is a symptom of 1st world abundance. Stop navel gazing at start finding purpose in your daily life and look forward, not inward or backward. Do you think Gabor looks well? His constant inward gazing is a sign he’s mentally unwell too.
@AidenRobert-nc1fp
@AidenRobert-nc1fp 5 ай бұрын
Hello . I just turned 67 and i am sharing some benefits. Let me know if you are interested . I'm just helping the few I can
@monaminas
@monaminas 6 ай бұрын
What an intelligent, kind, exceptional human being and doctor! I wish that more of the doctors would be like him. So compassionate and truthful! I love your mind and soul, Dr. Mate!
@alexandracirebea2326
@alexandracirebea2326 5 ай бұрын
Always a pleasure to listen Dr. Mate! Dr. Mate, you are a blessing for humanity! ❤ Your passion, expertise and humbleness always captivates me. Thank you!
@Garcias-9
@Garcias-9 4 ай бұрын
Dr. Que hombre tan admirable es usted!! Tan inteligente de la vida! Tan humilde! A muchos líderes les hace falta una maestría en humildad! Entre más lo escucho más lo admiro! 👏🏼
@personlady2438
@personlady2438 6 ай бұрын
Gabor is a gift to humanity.
@christineclements9321
@christineclements9321 6 ай бұрын
Gabor IS a gift to humanity, and being able to hear this interview is a gift to me.
@gyorgybernard8647
@gyorgybernard8647 6 ай бұрын
This is so true. I have an autoimmune disease and I'm a chronic people pleaser and self abandoner. I don't know if I can change. I wish Gabor would make an exercise book for chronic people pleasers to help them overcome this tendency.
@NEMEIFX
@NEMEIFX 6 ай бұрын
I can say that the first step in any change is awareness, and you've already achieved that. Recognizing that you have a tendency to self-abandon in favor of pleasing others is crucial. From here, you can start to explore why you do this and what steps you can take to prioritize yourself more often. It's never too late to change. Even small steps can lead to significant improvements over time. You're not alone in this, so feel free to reach out to people of people who are going through similar emotions so... hope I have contributed with some good.
@Ffar2578
@Ffar2578 6 ай бұрын
Read codependent no more by melony beattie if that helps,it's a profound book
@fionabooth1816
@fionabooth1816 6 ай бұрын
Or read Facing Codependence by Pia Melody. I found it very helpful in explaining the routes of Codependence and how to go about changing it. There is also a workbook to go with it.
@cupcake0480
@cupcake0480 6 ай бұрын
Awareness is the first step. Alan Robarge has some vey insightful videos here on KZbin, on people pleasing and the core wound of attachment trauma that might be helpful. He’s a clinical psychologist specialising in attachment wounds and how we then adapt our behaviours in adult life. He has some transformational information. I also have an autoimmune disease that has been in remission since I did the healing work of attachment wounds from my childhood. Might be a coincidence, but I ‘feel’ different now and remission followed.
@lollylula6399
@lollylula6399 6 ай бұрын
Crappy Childhood Fairy here on KZbin has some great videos that help with this and lots of other elements of it.
@DallasLaxton
@DallasLaxton 5 ай бұрын
With every interview I watch with Gabor I learn so much about myself. I now understand myself so much more. I actually believe I may be able to achieve inner peace. Thank you so much Mr. Mate you are a life saver, literally.
@donnaedwards2391
@donnaedwards2391 5 ай бұрын
❤Beautiful. I felt your comment in my heart. I AM happy for you. Blessings 🙌🏾.
@beak2624
@beak2624 5 ай бұрын
Your podcast is so good. You inform without always trying to entertain. You're vulnerable and you contribute, but you don't dominate. Your questions are spot-on and they keep the conversation going. The camera work is brilliant and not distracting. Really top-drawer in comparison to most YT channels.
@lindaj171
@lindaj171 6 ай бұрын
There is a lot I admire about Dr. Mate but his absolute honesty about himself and his feelings plus his ability to admit when he doesn't feel he's lived up to his own (extremely high) expectations of himself are amongst the top things. His books are wonderful and he is a treasury of wisdom, empathy and compassion.
@newearth4071
@newearth4071 6 ай бұрын
Gabore is a GIFT to humanity ❤ Thank you for this excellent opportunity to interview him.🙏❤
@riellycardy9899
@riellycardy9899 10 күн бұрын
Love his point about men looking for a mother, and then leaving women who finally stand up for themselves, to find a woman who hasn't learned to stand up for herself yet. What a great point.
@avx4281
@avx4281 4 ай бұрын
Dr Gabor is a saint, a great human being. Wish u a long life. And thanx for this very enlightening interview.
@Yuki-nz5xy
@Yuki-nz5xy 6 ай бұрын
Not saying no has a lot to do with the fear of abandonment. It is always a pleasure to listen to Gabor and to learn from him.
@reemked1908
@reemked1908 6 ай бұрын
Listening to these voices, help me affirm the thoughts that i have been ruminating for a while, especially after losing both my parents in a short window of 3 years. My mom was just 60 when she passed away with no medical conditions whatsover. She was extremely extremely over the board generous and patient and nice even to people who hurt her. When she passed away suddenly within a matter of 3 days because of gall bladder infection, people were hellishly shocked and in denial. But strangely, I was not! Though i knew she had no physical problems, i knew what she was going through deep pain psychologically. She was a big time pushover. She could never say a No. So was my dad. All our life decisions were based around pleasing the society! When she passed away, this was the exact thought that came to my mind "Only if she spared herself for herself and us!" . Hundreds of people cried around her but i knew nonev of them knew her well at all They all liked her because she was there for them always with no boundaries! And they would never find any like her! But in real, I wish she saved herself for people who mattered. She had grown resentful over years that took her away from us.... This podcast just gave me the chills as i had a similar epiphany when she passed away! I feel like God is talking to me through this podcast ❤
@Annapurna818
@Annapurna818 6 ай бұрын
Same with my mom.
@laquerisma
@laquerisma 6 ай бұрын
I'm really sorry about your mom. She was a valuable person. We should all learn our value and save it for those who matter most.
@Regina-xk6os
@Regina-xk6os 6 ай бұрын
Please, please, read 1 Corinthians 13. It has been said thousands years ago and it's the answer to you in regards to your mom and your pain. The most kind and compassionate people die because they needed but didn't find love from the people they served, but they didn't know there was God who loved them all their life, and this love was greater than any human could give. You can change the world if you love people the way Christ loves them, unconditionally, generously, caringly. I love the word "charity" which King James' Bible uses in place of love in this context. Charity is not a donation of things or money, it's genuine deep caring for people, which is more than love, because it's always doing and acting selflessly. My sincere condolences on your loss. God bless you!
@maritaalisjahbana4551
@maritaalisjahbana4551 6 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing... I think a lot of us have known people with this problem and can therefore relate. Good thing we now live in times where this problem is recognized... thanks to Gabor Mate and others... and so help can be sought if we can acknowledge and face up to this issue.
@berenisemendez5223
@berenisemendez5223 6 ай бұрын
Amen to that! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ your story reminds me of my grandma 76yrs old who her stress finally took a toll on her physical health. I have a huge family and she’s the one everyone looks for because she says yes to everyones favors, specially her children except for my mother. My family treats my grandmother like a maid. My mother has trauma from her abusive father and has unresolved resentment towards my grandma (her mom) which led my mom to separate us from the rest of the family. My grandma calls my mother a few times a year to talk but my mom avoids her at times. Everytime she calls, she ends up venting to my mother, telling her how tired she is of peoples problems and having constant parties family events at her home she’s just stuck on limbo not living life but living for everyone else. It’s sad to see her health deteriorate all while her children, their children and the rest of the family takes advantage of her caretaking.
@plasmatronicx235
@plasmatronicx235 5 ай бұрын
I love the way Steven looks at Gabor when he's talking. You can see the respect he has for the man's age, history, wisdom, and manner. What I also love about this podcast and Steven specifically is that he taught me how to hold space for people. How to ask questions and listen. Truly listen. I cannot thank you and The Diary of A CEO team for the influence you've had on my life over the past 6 months.
@ninashirley432
@ninashirley432 4 ай бұрын
Bless your soul, you wonderful man every word you spoken has touched me deeply in my soul as I am a survivor of childhood trauma. I was adopted by a very wealthy family in Australia. The mother used to shake me. Her sons used to bash me in the head and my youngest brother, sexually abused me and told me if I did not do so I would have to live on the streets and everyone hated me, I actually made the choice at 14 to leave home as I decided that I did not want to live my life around these people and I’m gonna help other people that been caught up in society with people of forced into horrible situation’s when we all have the power to heal, I became professional dog groomer, and I love the way you talk about animals elephants bang my favorite animal, and an Indian man told me I have the spirit of the mother elephant, so I find all of your words are absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story.
@accomplushed
@accomplushed 6 ай бұрын
gabor mate worked so hard on this interview. he really poured his mind and heart into every answer and paced his responses and prompts so well and its nice to see that the interviewer treated him with the respect he deserves which likely ultimately brought out his best work
@rachf9695
@rachf9695 6 ай бұрын
Did you notice him ask if he was talking too much? Cause Steven was listening so contently as he always does that Gabor wasn't sure if he was out of line! Steven has a keen ability to listen and ask questions that continue to level up these incredible podcast! ❤❤❤
@joyb5525
@joyb5525 6 ай бұрын
My mother was bipolar and i was 6 weeks in an incubator. Never liked her. But here I am at 70 and all the abandonment and bullying issues I've had has lead me to embrace the life of a mystic. I couldn't have asked for more. I am so lucky to have met the right teachers. Like the crucifixion, a right of passage. Dr. Gabor is excellent. A example of a great human being. The wisdom of the survivor. 🎉
@maryrankin9869
@maryrankin9869 6 ай бұрын
God Bless you. Glad you found G.M.
@wilmavlaar8914
@wilmavlaar8914 6 ай бұрын
Great spoken very interesting intervieuw!!!
@Nelikaful
@Nelikaful 5 ай бұрын
Can relate - connect. Being not alone is a blessing, isn't it? Let's keep growing, keep stretching, exploring our beauty, feeling the feelings... 💔❤🌈
@AidenRobert-nc1fp
@AidenRobert-nc1fp 5 ай бұрын
Hello . I just turned 67 and i am sharing some benefits. Let me know if you are interested . I'm just helping the few I can
@luizaperrellibartolo2603
@luizaperrellibartolo2603 5 ай бұрын
😮😅😮😅u😅
@kjmallyon4745
@kjmallyon4745 5 күн бұрын
What incredible example of honesty and vulnerability. Thank you xx
@reyessouthey1350
@reyessouthey1350 Ай бұрын
Dr Gabor Mate is a gift to mankind. Thank you Steven Bartlett for shining your light on him. Smashing conversation! 🙏🏻Thank you both! 🙏🏻
@bumblebee_mrs
@bumblebee_mrs 6 ай бұрын
As someone who is in recovery, once I stopped all of the addictions and paid that money for therapy instead it changed my life.
@brendacampbell3229
@brendacampbell3229 6 ай бұрын
12 step programs work and are free
@bernadettekavanagh9984
@bernadettekavanagh9984 6 ай бұрын
Well done, you're on the road to recovery, trust God also you'll be amazed how He can help. ❤❤❤❤❤
@hislipsmyheart2844
@hislipsmyheart2844 6 ай бұрын
BRAVO!!!
@lulumoon6942
@lulumoon6942 6 ай бұрын
CONGRATULATIONS ON BETTING ON YOURSELF! 👍🙏
@bumblebee_mrs
@bumblebee_mrs 6 ай бұрын
Oh wow, thank you everyone for such kind words. It's been a long spiritual journey.
@mirandaandrea8215
@mirandaandrea8215 6 ай бұрын
What a wonderful man and not afraid to express his fallibility! He's human like all of us! Top notch!
@marthamagee2055
@marthamagee2055 6 ай бұрын
Gabor Maté is the Trauma Shaman of our time. ✨🙏
@hexxan007
@hexxan007 6 ай бұрын
@@marthamagee2055 Exactly! A Shaman with the archetype of the Wounded Healer. I am so grateful he is out here a lot now!
@tamtamr9081
@tamtamr9081 4 ай бұрын
easily one of the best interviews! hes an amazing man forever changing us all to the better! thank you doctor gabor!
@rosemoon8072
@rosemoon8072 9 күн бұрын
i wish there was a Gabor standing beside me all day reminding me when I forget .. which is every few minutes ... at the moment he is the one good reason to keep coming online to keep on track !!! Such a brilliant discussion, with an a amazing, and deeply honest man i do think that often the male/ female dynamic he describes can also happen the other way around .. its not a one way street (and I say this as a woman)
@shelchel9168
@shelchel9168 6 ай бұрын
I’m so interested in the correlation between people-pleasing and illness. I went travelling for almost 2 months by myself, and managed to put myself first during this trip. I wasn’t sick once. As soon as I came back and engaged in people pleasing again I got sick. It could just be a coincidence but it’s interesting to think about.
@ceoa
@ceoa 6 ай бұрын
@shelche19168 I found it enlightening how he reminded us that the emotional and the immune system operated the same. A good thing to keep in mind! 🙂
@shelchel9168
@shelchel9168 6 ай бұрын
@@ceoa absolutely!
@the_kingd0m
@the_kingd0m 6 ай бұрын
I believe a lot of "people pleasers" are just masters of the art of pretending to care, in other words, kissing ass all the time. They lose their inner dignity. There's no problem with being nice but you shouldn't need to put on a fake act. Just be real and try not to be abrasive, generally that's closer to the truth for many and authenticity goes a long way both externally and internally.
@shelchel9168
@shelchel9168 6 ай бұрын
@@the_kingd0m did you watch the video? Dr Gabor explains the root of people-pleasing behaviour and it’s not quite how you’re describing it. Fair enough if that’s what you believe but I don’t think it’s helpful to shame people for behaviour which could be rooted in trauma.
@athlene110
@athlene110 6 ай бұрын
Your bang on! Good on ya, for recognizing that 👏 👌
@bluebell9231
@bluebell9231 6 ай бұрын
What a brain! Exceptional human being! I was in tears by the end of this interview. Brought so much to the surface, my childhood, relationships, worklife, and health. Now I realise that the solution is trying to accept, leave behind, and find my inner peace. It's not going to be easy, but I will try.
@suzannemastragostino9950
@suzannemastragostino9950 4 ай бұрын
Both of these men are amazing human beings. Thanks to both of you for this incredible sharing.
@mgraulau
@mgraulau 3 ай бұрын
For many (me) the worst part of childhood trauma has been to wake up and realize that I've been in an absolutely dissociated state since childhood. None of the many therapists I have been to have ever addressed it. It's been many decades lost and pure exhaustion from so much talking crap and deflecting in therapy, never mind all the $$$. I'm grateful for all the valuable material here.
@tallisinwonderland4724
@tallisinwonderland4724 3 ай бұрын
Your comment is so interesting to me. Can I ask how your disassociation manifested itself in your life please?
@petethedoodler
@petethedoodler 6 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video. You may have just saved my life. I am a carer and have put everyone before myself for most of my life, and I have chosen a role in life, that I people please and have to care for others before myself. I have been struggling lately, and my body has been telling me by wanting to sleep more and more. I watched this video last night and this morning and have messaged people to set boundaries and I feel better already. I had gut problems, headaches and feeling depressed. Sending love to everyone who may be struggling right now. ❤❤
@toomuchinformation
@toomuchinformation 6 ай бұрын
I'm a carer as well and got very upset today with the visit of a particular relative who I wasn't expecting and didn't want to see. I'll have to set a boundary around her coming.
@petethedoodler
@petethedoodler 6 ай бұрын
@@toomuchinformation I have just had a conversation with my son today about boundaries. It is such an important subject that there are books specifically to help manage them. Families seem to respect your boundaries less than strangers or friends. I wish you well.
@cindybann2363
@cindybann2363 6 ай бұрын
That’s wonderful,give yourself permission to take care of yourself first ❤ and start saying No and protect your inner child 👧 ❤
@evakatz6351
@evakatz6351 6 ай бұрын
My Dad abused me and I had very little contact with him, but over a year ago my Mum became severely disabled after a stroke and we had to be in regular contact again. Every time I spoke to him it would be very upsetting and take me back to childhood, but I would push back and try not to let him walk all over me for my sanity. However, he wasn’t treating my Mum well, so I decided I had to ‘play nice’ in order to try to persuade him to get her what she needed. This is when the migraines started. They would come on almost immediately after hearing his voice on the phone. So I’m taking a break now as I’m doing IVF and it was too much, but it was the migraines that made me realise I had to take a break. I don’t know what the long term solution is as I want to help my Mum, but I REALLY don’t want to be in contact with him.
@falamanzana
@falamanzana 5 ай бұрын
@catmomandflowers3237
@catmomandflowers3237 4 ай бұрын
@fatimacassim8475
@fatimacassim8475 4 ай бұрын
Thank you, Dr Gabor, you have articulated the auto immune process and it's dynamics with such clarity; it really helps to make some kind of sense in living with diseases that have no answers.
@lisawanderess
@lisawanderess 3 ай бұрын
@ 37:42 when Gabor says "Am I talking too much?" just made my heart so happy, and the response he got from Steven: "No, you're not. There's no such thing on this podcast" was just so beautiful to hear! I'm such a huge fan of Gabor Mate ever since I got Rheumatoid arthritis and my doctor told me to read "When the body says No" and the reality of all my repressed trauma finally came to light. One of my emotional triggers is being told I talk too much and that small interaction there was like a soothing balm to my soul! And every word Gabor speaks is pure wisdom so he could never talk too much in my opinion. Such a legend and interviewed so sensitively and respectfully... loved this episode sooo much! ❤
@audreyheart2180
@audreyheart2180 5 ай бұрын
When people don't know how to say no, the body will say no for them. That niceness is a repression of healthy anger. -Dr. Gabor Mate
@Funny-xm6yk
@Funny-xm6yk 6 ай бұрын
He got so deep till he asked "Am I talking too much?" Doctor is passionate and knows his stuff.... Amazing guy.
@maisy9316
@maisy9316 3 ай бұрын
wow! "Thankyou for all the troubles world", what a powerful statement.
@RxS100
@RxS100 3 ай бұрын
Dr Mate your answer to the question at the end has me in floods of tears! It touched me in a profound way. THANK YOU 🙏🏼
@corinaspfx
@corinaspfx 6 ай бұрын
Stephen is a King when it comes to the art of asking questions, gets better every episode. As for Gabor, his growth is also palpable, deeply valuable and endlessly heartwarming. Thank you both ❣
@m-laure4804
@m-laure4804 6 ай бұрын
And he is also an interviewer who lets his ‚other‘ talk. So rare these days!
@speakwell.840
@speakwell.840 6 ай бұрын
Nice comment. ❤
@dreicharz
@dreicharz 6 ай бұрын
I love how he never interrupts anyone ,ever.
@SwedishTourist
@SwedishTourist 6 ай бұрын
agree, his interviewing technique is great
@jaymann5180
@jaymann5180 6 ай бұрын
Stephen is a King...I see what you did there.
@jpholistics
@jpholistics 6 ай бұрын
I had to pause this video SO.MANY.TIMES just to give myself a moment to process SO.MUCH.TRUTH. I feel such gratitude both to you and for you that I can hardly express it! Thank you!!
@anitachojnacki4512
@anitachojnacki4512 6 ай бұрын
He is just simply Authentication God bless him
@mialite7959
@mialite7959 6 ай бұрын
Same here.
@elletisch
@elletisch 6 ай бұрын
Same!
@guybragge
@guybragge 5 ай бұрын
It seems to me that Gabor needs a lot of love. He seems to me as a very wounded, yet aware person, and as such needs as much love and care that he gives to all of us. I love you Gabor.
@coppersense999
@coppersense999 5 ай бұрын
@@St.Buddha_Brahman-Sun_of_Light ? Agreed. And, indeed he has a family. He has worked with his son publicly and he is married. I love that he shares his ongoing growth journey too. He doesn't claim to be perfect or enlightened.
@michie43able
@michie43able 3 ай бұрын
Doctor Gabor Mate you are a blessing to this world. Thank You.
@doctorAM
@doctorAM 6 ай бұрын
I love how he said “am I talking to much”. I love listening to this Man and his voice is very soothing too. We need great doctors like this in the world ❤
@mialite7959
@mialite7959 6 ай бұрын
Yes! I burst out laughing like a hyena when he said that!
@alexandradavis7256
@alexandradavis7256 6 ай бұрын
Yes his voice sometimes makes me sleepy but I see that as a good thing!
@scops2169
@scops2169 6 ай бұрын
His book ‘When the Body Says No’ literally changed my life. I’m so grateful for him and his work
@MaureenMurphy238
@MaureenMurphy238 5 ай бұрын
He is so authentic. It is refreshing and so informative. I feel validated and affirmed hearing his wisdom.
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