Dr. Gabor Maté Reveals The Unlikely Link Between Stress, Trauma & Disease

[@HighPerformancePodcast]

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[@tommyvincent3815]

Fantastic guest, reading and listening to Gabor helped me turn my life around, begin therapy, heal from my trauma and find myself again. Thankfully, i did this whilst my children where still so young, and now they have a compassionate, present father. The greatest gift

[@lauren_WI]

That’s great 👏 👏

[@denise2169]

Bravo! You're kids are very lucky to have you as their father who has done this work!

[@johnroekoek12345]

He is wrong about ADHD, but besides that, yes

[@tommyvincent3815]

@@johnroekoek12345 I was convinced i had ADHD going into therapy. Then after i healed from my trauma, the symptoms of ADHD left me, and im a completely different person now. I am living proof that, for some, his views on ADHD are spot on. For others, perhaps there are other reasons for it. Im interested to see what qualifies you to say he is wrong?

[@deborah9384]

Congratulations! @tommyvincent3815

[@HappyNoobody]

I don’t know why but Ever since I was a kid I’ve was gifted with an awareness to mental note anything my parents or caregivers did that felt wrong. I remember always promising myself that I should do better if I became a parent one day. When I finally became a parent I had to fight the societal good provider stereotypical mentality that defines our modern era of parenting just to test and observe if all my child & adolescent mental notes were efficacious to my kids’s health & wellbeing. Now my kid is 16 and every person who observes our interactions together are always curious about our close bond. Everything this guy talks about and recommends I have parented by example since day 1 and am currently enjoying the fruits of my time & patience that I prioritized to my kid and wife. We don’t live a perfect life by far but everyday I can say is meaningful.

[@lauren_WI]

Wow, beautiful!! 👏 what a gift! Thank you for sharing ❤

[@connorodea9499]

My dad is 74, today is my 27 birthday. Your comment brought me to tears. My father is my best friend. We fight like animals sometimes but at the end of the day, it is the deepest level of unconditional love. It's wanting more for one another, and knowing the gifts that you have to share with the world. Thank you for being an incredible father. There is nothing more powerful in this world than a father/son relationship. It truly is the single most important factor in a child's life. The father wound is the deepest, darkest and most vulnerable void. Some go through their entire lives trying to fill that void and can never find anything that heals it. God Bless you.

[@brittanywil9152]

I have a question for you. Dr. Gabor talks about how important it is not to take away a child’s ability to say no. So, when your child threw a fit or said no, how did you handle it? In the video, I wasn’t sure if he meant parents should always accept it when a child says no, or if there’s a better way to respond while still respecting the child. I would greatly appreciate your feedback.

[@TheGallantDrake]

​@@brittanywil9152 Im not a parent but the impression i got when i did some training for tutoring was that you should ask why as a start. Kids have their reasons for not doing something, and need to be taught to communicate and discuss solutions with others. Not much of an answer, I know, but I've found that conversing with kids instead of just telling them things tends to have better results.

[@SeanAndersonMayhemCombatives]

My kids are 24 and 15 and to this day I've never uttered the phrase " Cause Im your father that's why"

[@zurc_bot]

Broken people make broken people

[@hiloknowsall7462]

@@zurc_bot true…but it’s more nuanced. Broken people who heal and unfaaaark themselves make the best friends, lovers, parents etc.

[@robynhope219]

@@hiloknowsall7462 that's rare...most never reach the stage of unfaaarkness.

[@usersss100]

i love how Dr. Mate is able to connect the dots leading to trauma and articulating in a laymen's term. hes a gem.

[@robynhope219]

@@usersss100 that's no big deal..he needs to tell us HOW to heal, which he isn't doing. Bessel van der Kolk is doing that in his book The Body Keeps Score. He is a psychiatrist, the real thing, not fake.

[@Photik]

Have you read his book?

[@robynhope219]

@@Photik yes, I unfortunately bought it...should have got from the library.

[@TimeIdle]

Gabor is a treasure.

[@robynhope219]

He is a charlatan! He claims to be expert in psychology, psychiatry, child development, etc...HE IS NONE OF THOSE. He is a retired GP, that is all.

[@neva.2764]

​@@robynhope219 Do you feel better now? 😊

[@robynhope219]

@@neva.2764 I always feel well when I speak truth.

[@eyerolling]

@@robynhope219 i think he has some great points and data but he's sometimes missing to elaborate certain perspectives and things he says.

[@robynhope219]

@@eyerolling yep, he takes the easy way out.

[@abritishaudiophile7314]

What a fantastic time we live in where this kind of insight is available for free at the touch of your fingers. Very revealing, not just of Gabon’s wisdom, but of the presenters, and ultimately of ourselves 😊

[@the_famous_reply_guy]

Nobody is listening to each other, the words are like ketchup on the bread and meat of emotion.

[@conorcurran9431]

I was so excited when I saw this title come up, what an honour for you both to sit down and listen to this great man. I have so much respect and admiration for him, a truly great intellect of our time.

[@gil5580]

I am addicted to Gabor podcasts🤭

[@romalisa2]

Lol me too,,I was lucky to have him sign a book once,,,,Hes a trailblazer for sure so is his son!

[@bizzylizzy5075]

Read all his books as well what a fantastic human 😊

[@ShannonS-w8j]

I’m just learning about him now and I really like him. I watch a lot of other KZbin videos on various topics, which feels like i’m becoming “addicted” to working on healing, however that looks for me and that’s not a bad addiction to have. Blessings to all on your healing journeys 🙏🏼🪽✨

[@robynhope219]

​@@ShannonS-w8ju want a healing journey? Visit Bessel van der Kolk.

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

@@romalisa2 and tranquilizer

[@TheReflectiveCoachPodcast]

This is by far one of your greatest interviews. I actually took so much from this and so many notes. I have been lucky enough to have shared this with my students who are learning much from this interview.

[@sanditeale3632]

Thank you for having Gabor Mate on your show. If a governments /world policy for children be written, let it be by him. So much compassion & humility 🙏💗

[@robynhope219]

Not true..he has a private persona and a public one.

[@LifeofFana]

I learned a lot from Gabor, I found his work right after I had my daughter and it helped me massively. I changed my work to part time and I spend majority of my time with her, and I see how it's helping her. Thank you Dr Mate!

[@lauren_WI]

Same! That’s awesome, that’s ❤️

[@apothekede]

Top - I am about to do the same, for I have just been laid off 😉

[@dominiquepaillardet5646]

Fine, if your mother is a good, sensible person. My mother was at home non stop and I wish she'd had a job : she'd have been much happier, and so would I...

[@NewEyesOpen]

One of the best episodes I’ve watched! There’s SO MUCH wisdom here! All parents need to hear this message! THIS is the true key to long term success and the highest level of performance/impact for ALL humanity!!!!❤

[@sanditeale3632]

So agree

[@SandraT1107]

I quit my job and my house to be able to have my kid with me when young because it was breaking my child not being with me. I was berated by so many professionals. By their teens I was commended for my child being a good role model. Our society is so messed up 😢

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

because society is goodness, and when we come away from natural law and wiring, it all falls apart because "we know better"...nope

[@duarteestelita8938]

Guys.. my 1st time here. I want to say thank you, 1st..and that I watch/listen to Dr. Maté very frequently (as well as reading him, evidently) and this podcast was still fresh. So, I would say that's not only on him, but also on both of you. Kudos, from Portugal

[@leytonseymour3770]

What a guy I’d love to have one hour sitting with gabor Im currently reading “the myth of normal” I’ve read his other books listened to everything love what he’s done and still doing at 80 brilliant man 🙏

[@ProfDrDrN0]

@47:08 his answer explains exactly the process to overcome traumatizing experiences. Great advice!!!

[@rubylewis6075]

Gabor. I adore your imperfect self. Ohhh my god. I could have recreated education with this one recording. I’m over the moon. So tremendously grateful.

[@judyjhealthtips2020]

I adore Gabor even more with the mention of the African adage ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ indeed it does Dr. I couldn’t have done it alone.

[@MsScotlyn]

I have learned so much from Gabor, just a beautiful soul, thank you

[@javieriglesias6556]

My favourite episode so far! Dr. Gabor Maté is engrossing to listen too!

[@romalisa2]

Dr Gabor Mate is highly respected for good reason.Check out his biography and credentials.Do not judge,,most of the comments below are kinda shallow and flailing observations trying to understand what Gabor is talking about.He shows incredible humility and takes ownership for his shortcomings,,,,And he was one of the first to bring this approach of radical honesty to the platforms we see every where now ,, no bullshit here. Of course you dont have to agree with everything,,Just listen,,with an open mind and an open heart.!❤

[@lauren_WI]

💯! 👏

[@robynhope219]

He is selling himself and selling books and workshops. GM is a good salesman, that's all.

[@racheltarentino3314]

Its okay that you don't understand what he's saying ​@robynhope219

[@Photik]

​@@robynhope219would you spread the word about trauma if u could?

[@ninashirley432]

He is so right most of my sadness comes from society making me do things with my children that I know was wrong! I was adopted by a family that abused me! I wanted to do everything for my children that my parents didn’t do for me! 😢

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

what gets me is the parents who say "I didn't know, you didn't tell me" etc. What if you were that child that cried, screamed, whispered, asked for help over and over and over ......to the parents, and they flat out ignored you (one of them), and abused you for asking (other one), a sibling watching and laughing, the other sibling avoided the whole thing and took off. I'm tired of the victim parent excuse.

[@hiloknowsall7462]

Ooooof you articulated precisely my own experience / feelings. Thank you ♥️. Parents have been granted way too much latitude, concessions, and “hall passes” for abusive and dysfunctional behaviours by our societal systems - classic example is the whining and victimhood of parents who are estranged from their adult children - I’ve never met anyone who is estranged over stupid/flippant/reasons that weren’t completely legitimate and most have tried for decades before they finally cut contact. Then the parents, have the gall to say how could we know….despite it literally being screamed at their faces for decades in 1000 different ways. Most mental health conditions are preventable if only parents could unfaaark themselves or not have kids if they cannot pass on their bullshit to children.

[@metamorphicP]

Im tired of adult kids falling for the "woke" agenda of unrealistic expectations and victimhood and the whole world has to accommodate them and fuck everything else! Todays society is programming unhealthy expectations and to feel victimised not when abused but merely that perfection is not met! Today its the kids being perfecrionist and judgemental!

[@lorrieudrea7496]

I agree with you, but then I have days and I see my mom is so damaged from her own parents and then I sympathise with her. The empathy and the understanding that her pain is my pain is what still keeps us together, but it’s still hard.

[@hiloknowsall7462]

@@lorrieudrea7496 trust me I get it. I’m not programmed to not love ❤️ my mother, despite the fact she has enabled and condoned abuses that would make any person without lived experience blanche. I still can’t go NC with her; she deserves/has 0 right or entitlement to my love but I can’t not…despite best practices/many of those who’ve helped me heal imploring me to cut contact I simply can’t. I support you Jennifer and hear you ❤️

[@marciamcgrail5889]

@@lorrieudrea7496- it IS hard isn't it? I feel for you and we need to demand that parental classes start in school.

[@JohnnStr1]

Thanks Doc, love your videos. You helped me so much in my health journey and understanding foods. I started to change my routines after reading "The 23 Former Doctor Truths". No wonder Doctor left her career.

[@denise2169]

It's funny for me to read the title of your podcast channel, "High Performance", as if some kind of achievement is the most important goal in life. 😂 If you really listen closely to Dr Maté, he is telling us that who we appear to be on the outside, to others, is not the real inner self, at any given moment. He is an incredibly intelligent, world-reknown doctor and psychologist, and yet, when you asked him who he is, he replied that he is "just a person who's sitting here, hanging out with your question; that's who I am." He has truly learned to be conscious, centred in the present moment, not thinking about what he has already achieved in the world or will be doing next week. This is the gift of age, experience and wisdom, if you search for it. Thanks for another enlightening lesson, Dr Maté!

[@Seek_His_Wisdom]

I really enjoyed this and learned so much. I truly appreciate Dr. Gabor Mate's insight, sincerity and passion. Thank You for hosting him and also being vulnerable yourselves.

[@Dorykeepswimming]

'How do we learn to say no better?' I have been struggling with this too. And the hardest part has always been the 'HOW' to say no, and not what will I win - that was easy, I have been through trauma so I knew what I win is peace. I have been taught that saying no is rude and hence never shown how can I effectively say no if I need to, or how not to feel self-conscious or guilty afterwards. So I had a sense in me if I say no that is a sign of being feisty, oppositional, I'm causing rejection in a way, either 'I reject that I shouldn't' or 'I should be rejected'. But simply what I had to learn is the HOW. How can I formulate my boundaries(in words and actions) so it is not offensive, biased but considerate and the other party gets the right message. So I started to allow myself to be rejected too if after being considerate - as much as I can't be - the other party wouldn't understand, accept or respect. Mean you have to allow yourself have boundaries too. But healthy and non-harming ones.

[@punyashloka4946]

Sorry you have to struggle with this.

[@evelynebagnoud8234]

What for me is very important is this spending time with the kids if you have a family but in a mindful way... And a second one: The power of asking questions... because I know how hard it is after a difficult situation when they dont come...

[@MarcosSantos_44]

TOP podcast. Im someone who got limited by others so many times and that lead to me failling objectives of my life. Nowadays i try to live everyday , not letting no one limit me ever, NO ONE.

[@HankAstral]

Gabor citing 'Man City' as an example was the moment I realised Man Utd's slide is getting serious. Fantastic guy and great to see your channel diversifying.

[@sbusisomemela2056]

Who are you? I am the essence beyond this physical form, an energy that transcends the roles I play and the actions I take. While you may know me as a student, a son, a friend, or even through my work in agriculture or tutoring, those are merely expressions of my being, not the core of who I am. My values, identity, and personality may evolve, yet at my center, I remain the same-a consciousness beyond perception. I am neither bound by what I do nor by how you see me, but by the presence that exists beneath it all.

[@pasdeville]

yes

[@SavAnna8]

Such a fantastic interview! I should definitely write down everything he says.

[@dvr60]

His wisdom comes from his experiences…. You can’t buy that kind of wisdom.

[@eliotsalandybrown]

🤩 Thank you all for sharing such helpful perspectives in such a personal and digestible manner 🙏

[@emilymcintyre2439]

Beautiful and helpful... Thank you again, Dr Maté, for your wisdom

[@CasperGhostingYou]

I'm trying to work on not being a people pleaser. Is it just as stressful to say “maybe” or “let me get back to you” instead of saying no? I struggle with saying no and then later realizing I could have said yes and handled it. It's not always a clear-cut decision, and it's frustrating when psychologists or behavioral health professionals present things as all or nothing without acknowledging a middle ground. Why can't they teach us the potential outcomes of saying maybe or let me get back to you? It's frustrating when it feels like I'm always missing the mark

[@tannislintz1124]

I believe saying maybe or I will get back to you is the best way to listen to yourself and still be able to say yes or no after time to reflect on whether you really want to do something or not

[@GlossyGabs]

Sometimes we feel pressured to make a decision about a social event right on the spot. So saying thank you for the offer can I get back to you in like an hour or something like that. Takes the overwhelming pressure of making the decision. It puts you in control of the situation. Then you don't over commit to, to many social events and then feel absolutely exhausted and need time alone to recover. Your time and mental health/mental load matters too. Fomo is a thing as well. So it's not as simple as accepting the offer to join or decline. There's other factors that come into play. Sorry for the long message I'm just an introvert struggling with decision making as well.

[@lanep2023]

I think you are teaching yourself, right now, and by public default, those of us who are reading your words…

[@maxivy]

Such solid interviewers. You guys did a phenomenal job, this was fantastic.

[@christinecamley]

Fabulous individual. Thank you. 🙏

[@oliverharrison7799]

That was a fantastic watch!

[@aliciam6725]

I became a lawyer and advanced quickly but I felt I was shoehorning myself into that office, that role, highly conservative, buttoned down when it’s natural for me to rubbish things to make others relax and feel better, or tell stories against interest of when I’d messed up in early days, because new lawyers were petrified for want of practical training. I loved the work (prosecution but I was empathetic with many of those at the other end of the bar table). I did this until I got sick because I knew I was supposed to be a head-kicker.

[@annelbeab8124]

Fellow lawyer here. I know what you are talking about. We will find better compassionate ways. There are enough lawyers around, but too few people having deep insight into conflicts. There is much we can take from the limited world of law into life and make a better living. Literally. Live better. And be of healthy service.

[@faith-o8w3j]

Loved their questions. First time watching them, they seem like great hosts. Long time gabor fan ❤️

[@Josiena-i3h]

amazing conversation. the gentlemen looked comically large considering all the furniture in the room. the vanta commercial was clearly not for my demographic as I didn't understand a single word you used :P fantastically valuable, thanks guys!

[@Frances-y7x]

Thank you GM.

[@toomylight2311]

Create your own reality as long as your not doing harm to anyone

[@evergreentangerine]

Very insightful and thought provoking interview. We need more like this. Thank you. But can you please reduce the number of advert segments? I was fed up after the 5th ad segment and I was only 15 mins into the video.

[@egj1975]

This could help so many people and children... but most will forget these wise words within the next 2 hours because they had to work, spend 2 hours on TikTok or "do something else". Time spent with your children is worth so much more then gifts and money. I work 37 hours a week and not a second more because I want to have time for myself and my closest ones and I would never give that time up for any amount. Find time for your family and your self... one day its to late and no money in the world can get that time back. I am not judging anybody... this is my choice and everybody can do what they want.

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

mostly, (your first statement of truth and I believe), because people have pride, are lazy and narcissistic and refuse to do the changes necessary, but want them immediately and with out work

[@Photik]

​@@Jennifer-gr7hnwithout work, as a man, I feel like I have no value or purpose. Don't provide.. People feel this way..not just me.

[@janinekay]

He’s a genius ❤

[@PalNok-nm6fv]

I know sweet bananas we got this figured. it seems : )

[@kathybjorn1001]

They sure do!😊Thank you!

[@iamkatietv]

This is incredible. 🙌

[@runna44]

Too many commercials. Hard to follow the message in between the hundreds of commercial interruptions.

[@saul_goodman76]

Thank you for a good episode!

[@taratheintuitivehealer]

I would say rather than our parents mess up , our parents were messed up , my grandparents were messed up , I myself got messed up and haven’t given anything to my daughter :( I just couldn’t become a good parent as I was always disconnected with myself

[@taratheintuitivehealer]

It’s the generational trauma and conditioning and it’s the physiological manifestation

[@pasdeville]

same for me

[@Revenuism]

Good answer on the first quick fire. I bought it while I was listening to this. So big 🙏

[@sarojanidoddapaneni9734]

Dr MATAE I learnt of strong faith Everyone is unique and awesome Creation and Blessed with an amazing Awesome Talent to full blown talented person into the full image of the HOLY ONE.

[@farimabarmakirad1964]

Great conversation. Very helpful. Thank you

[@allisonewens4036]

I ve learnt as my own lived experience that it's learning to be more self adulting teaching our inner child to be in a relationship with ourselves as a basis need ❤ not just a parenting one of learnt behaviour & attitudes of unmet needs placed on the child of limits only teach your child it's okay to be themselves by adulting them in there own responsibility of self this starts early with early learning development of a child needs 😊

[@jenoposner1103]

Gracias from México❤

[@PalNok-nm6fv]

Viva

[@singha6]

Gabor Mate is showing actual proof of his theory- by looking far younger than his 80 years! Getting over trauma, having self esteem and self love, makes you youthful and healthy

[@robynhope219]

Gotta be kidding...he looks 90+

[@catherineharber6514]

Outstanding and well rounded 💫✨.

[@LoveMinnie1102]

Beautiful interview ❤

[@KashifKhursheed-ng1vk]

Master the self control for staying thin and that'll empower you to achieve control over your mind further, and your spirit.

[@claudiamason.]

THE MAN. Thank you Gabor.

[@muma6559]

yes, recognition is the huge first step 40:40

[@e.dmitrieva5537]

Thanks you!

[@abishagwambui8412]

This was amazing 👏🏾

[@muma6559]

exactly! we need to know how we lost our wholeness.

[@raduvasilache483]

Top interview guys 👍

[@doddieboer712]

May I please use parts of this video with reference to it and your work in my research project on the body, movement and creating new patterns?

[@reg8297]

My parents had traumatised lives hunger loss aftee loss it made them very negative from.so much having gone wrong i feel that negativty really affected me not having normal happy situations at home or mixing socially how do u heal that negativity when u lost so much n your life also was abused n adult life was living n fear n terror running from it n trying to understand it

[@kbgames6198]

Worst mistake i did as a mother..was working away from home and kids

[@katiethepro]

I would love to hear these kids mom speak🎉

[@katherinedownover7927]

I was a single mum and I went without and I only worked school hours we would share a kids meal my son would eat what he wanted and I would eat the leftovers. I had a distressful childhood and knew that I would not ever do that. I now have an amazing man he’s 21 and is so well rounded . It can be done but you need help from GOD and most people want humble themselves enough to except JESUS .HE is the way the truth and the life and my life is an amazing testimony to the power of our creator 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼🙌🏼

[@cuprina1]

He's an angel, for sure. ❤

[@AKVR19]

If I came across your channel sooner and some good others around here my life would be WAY different than It actually is. I would have not wasted my brain on senseless, superficial and meaningless stuff. I am no longer afraid, though, who really cares, to admit to needing professional help, too. The brain, I would dare to say is the organ we are the most shy or timid to prevent anybody else from knowning, can get sick, too.

[@katiethepro]

More support needed for mothers. More financial support needed for fathers (perhaps)

[@APrftCrclTempest]

9:22 ONE WORD: CAPITALISM

[@PalNok-nm6fv]

vote blue brother . keep it steady shredder

[@2angiesays]

Fantastic!

[@lisasmith4296]

He learnt from self reflection as well 😊

[@michisaitama]

Just had a sudden thought on the origin on self-esteem and why I often feel like uneducated, rude or non-performers have so much self-esteem, that they could literally talk hours about a topic they have no clue about without even blushing. Is it because in their childhood their parents did not have any specific expectations to them and literally let them be as they are, fostering the I am good enough who I am without doing anything for it feeling while educated or high performance parents force their children often to meet their high expectations sending them the feeling that they are not good enough as they are but only if they DO sth for it, live up to the parents expectations. This would explain to me why high performers often have self-esteem issues because they were not loved enough for who the simply are but only if they DID sth for it to proof their worth.

[@marialuisarivas2977]

Quiero la transcription por favor

[@jamesbutler5908]

A Question how can we get back to who we were when we never knew it? Thanks

[@wendyhauzen9828]

I can’t peak all together, about other generations before. Being a Gen X parent, and our parents really did try to destroy us. They’ve expected us to learn from how hard their lives were. As if they insisted we hurt as much as they do/did. We didn’t. Gen X, we’re really quiet inside of ourselves. Don’t disrupt our hive. We don’t want to be messed with. We’re quiet. And our children are probably the most confused. We never wanted our parent’s ideology to interfere, but it does. Many of us don’t agree with them. It predetermined, nothing. We’re the generation of metaphorical and literally the teeter-totter generation. Up, down, up, down. Between Gen X and Gen Z, our kids…..deserve the best, but they’ll be the next generation to be forgotten too. Thats heartbreaking.

[@dominiquepaillardet5646]

Sometimes you have trouble saying no because you CAN'T! Will does not suffice, life circumstances have a way of trapping you...

[@duncansutherland47]

Gabor is getting better and better with age

[@muma6559]

love those sofa armchairs!

[@lizp5449]

I understand some of this but kids are extremely resilient, they don't need you every moment ,they need to know that you really care when you are there. You don't want to pick.thrm.up.every time they cry,kids manipulate, see this,and kids need to learn to self soothe,I think its tough being a parent,if you let them be who they are,as much as you can even if you dont understand in that moment,do they feel.safe,as long as they are not hurting you or others

[@nadirmilazzo5968]

I had a stay at home mother who resented me. When my siblings came along I became a slave. She was always the viper Narcissist stay at home mother. Please explain that. Lucky everybody else.

[@CappyD-x9n]

look up Sam Vaknin, if you haven't already.

[@Jan-v6y3o]

Are you sure this comes only from childhood experiences? Maybe later experiences with other people in life have similar effects on us or even more? A person can be born under very difficult conditions and still be a really good person.

[@lorettadavis2195]

Yes, some parents do mess their children up. I'm one of them. 🙏

[@dominiquepaillardet5646]

Don't feel too guilty, all parents mess their kids up, it's just a question of proportion!😂

[@lorettadavis2195]

Past.

[@charliebrown9930]

Brilliant but the sweeping sound of the subscribe reminder is really annoying... Haha

[@sophiaroychoudhury2997]

So Grateful to the Universe my children and my Grandchild are growing the beauty way...like what you describe. ..❤ My daughter is a young Montessorian....a Natural Nurturer....feel humbled to see how she is with her child and other children in her care❤❤❤❤ Dr Mate, I truly wish you could meet her....she is the Manifestation of your words...as a parent and as an Educator❤

[@scowlsmcjowls2626]

Dont blame your parents when it was their parents that messed them up

[@oonaghcleary3645]

I totally agree with Dr Gabor matte re people pleasing can lead to illnesses in certain people but I do feel there is a lot on emphasis on how our upbringing and how it affects us but not enough emphasis on how our genetics affect our mental health we all know people who had a traumatic upbringing and went on to do very well mentally and other people who had a loving upbringing and went on to having terrible mental health we must not forget the importance of our genetics

[@AKVR19]

How damaging it is to keep our troubles to ourselves when that goes to the extreme and all because mental and brain illness are still a sign of weakness as if we were not human beings but only machines. Of course, we must know who to trust when opening up because in the world we live in, there are oportunistics who supposedly want to help.

[@katherinewilson1853]

I really like Dr. Mate but one thing he says does not make sense. How is peer evaluation avoidable in even an ancient atmosphere, if it's a, "it takes a village," atmosphere? How could we avoid one another if we were all running around hunting/gathering/nurturing? I'd like to understand the optimal balance.

[@marlexpez880]

He's explaining basic Buddhist principles and those young guys are spellbound like it's a revelation. The whole hippy movement of the 60s and 70s was structured on what he is talking about.

[@izzydeadyet7336]

I keep hearing comparisons saying aboriginals raise their children better than the rest of us, more natural.. these must be old studies! If you go back to the 50s we were all raised better! Things started really going downhill for society in the 60-70s .. Im sure at some point the natives did raise their kids according to their traditions, but these days the reservations have abnormally high suicide rates among the youth, child abuse, extreme poverty, and drug/alcohol addiction problems galore! My uncle works for a gas company in northern Ontario and some reservations you cant even get to by road, its boat or air. And he said theyre awful! No plumbing, electrical, everyone's filthy and drunk, pretty much hell.. so when they bring up how lovely and natural the natives raise children, theyre referring to the well adjusted ones who happened to turn out ok.. just like any other race! Theyre not special

[@PalNok-nm6fv]

yeah sounds like you got something on your heart .

[@cameroncrazymom]

Ya. I wasn’t allowed to say how I felt at any moment. My parents took that as a personal attack. My father changed with time and developed some communication skills as well as conflict resolution. My mother (I use that term loosely) never had the skills, she never attempted to develop them because she truly believes that she is perfect and it’s everyone else’s problem. Over the years, this has contributed to her anger and abuse because I truly believe, somewhere inside of her, she is shameful.

[@romalisa2]

SOME of the older comments were not great, Thats all