Doctor Who Funniest Lines [Series Five Edition]

[@ReadingFanatic17]

Doctor: I'm not trying to be rude, but you died. Rory: Yeah. I know. I was there.

[@DoubleBread]

No big deal for Rory

[@brittanythompson580]

Amy: I'm pregnant, yes I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant Doctor: ...are you pregnant?

[@igneous061]

Best lines everr

[@curtismega7591]

"You're a doctor, help her." "YOU'RE A DOCTOR!!!" "It's ok, we're a doctor!" XD

[@dragonoidsix]

Doctor: I'm not *A* Doctor, I'm *THEE* Doctor!

[@Toshella]

@@dragonoidsix The definite article, you might say.

[@elizabethdraper2741]

I LOVE that episode

[@Sandra-rr1qp]

And the hand is acting catching the baby from down HAHAAHAH

[@dj12699]

One of my favourites is when Amy was talking to Vincent Van Gogh. "Your hair is.....orange." "So's yours."

[@nerysstuart4210]

And the doctors just like "Oh yeah have fun being ginger why dont you"

[@alex27020]

Jelly doctor bc of ginger hair🤣

[@elli.puschel]

How jealous he is about the"Orange hair" fact 🤣🤣

[@hiiamacat8605]

I read that as they said that

[@darshanpars4051]

That episode’s end made me legit ugly cry

[@aquawaveseafaring]

"Get a girlfriend, Jeff" "Oh yea, delete your internet history" Such a golden set of lines.

[@kelseyspringer72]

screams porn

[@curtismega7591]

+aquawaveseafaring LOL

[@pileofhazelnuts]

Pornpornpornpornpornpornpornporn

[@drxshock6957]

I didn't get that until years later :)

[@mckenzieraynor8436]

Lol I died when I heard that line

[@shanetom3387]

I'm 907 years old you know what that means -it's been a while.. Lmao damn

[@mckenzieraynor8436]

Shane Tom same:) I watch it on my phone and screenshotted that

[@zacharymorales1656]

@@mckenzieraynor8436 for what purpose?

[@Rebellions]

One of my personal favorites is "You were a little girl five minutes ago!"

[@Silverwind87]

The Doctor said, with shock in his voice.

[@mobin-Rahman-m]

“Your worse than my aunts.”

[@mishapenmoonmoth]

*”Blimey... get a girlfriend Jeff”* **WHAT AN ICONIC MOMENT MY GOD**

[@claudia_yelle2447]

Rory: Yours is bigger than mine Doctor: Let's not go there *Dies laughing* Oh Matt, you wonder why you're my favourite doctor...

[@pierocubertino5845]

it's even funnier when you remember that rory is the doctor's father in law XD jajajajajjaaj

[@mckenzieraynor8436]

piero cubertino true😁

[@BreadedSpace]

When you say it liek that it could be a sexual thing

[@maxhooper4319]

Space Doge the whole joke is hinting at it being a sexual thing , there’s not “could be”

[@connor4346]

Oh god amy kissed her son in law 😂

[@Humaricslastcall]

"...I am nine hundred and seven years old, do you understand what that means?" "It's been awhile?"

[@Caitlin.E.R]

The Exiled Nomad. One of my favourite lines

[@jordanchilver7636]

Doctor: "Well we've got comfy chairs did i mention". Angel Bob: "We have no need of comfy chairs". Doctor: "i made him say comfy chairs". Ha gold

[@KaiMonteago]

"......are you pregnant?" Amy and Rory: -_- that scene always cracks me up xD

[@birdsrneat]

Camz & I Pregante u mean..

[@luxbee_]

@@birdsrneat don't you mean pregananant

[@caffeinatedcougher]

@@luxbee_ no im pretty sure he means pregat

[@e.xcalibre]

"The ultimate Ginger...." "The Ultimate Ging" "The only thing I've seen uglier than you is..... YER MUM!" "You're like Houdini only seven very scary girls!" "TELL ME THE PLAN!... Someday that will work.."

[@muneebahmed2391]

"Alright it's a jammie dogger but I was promised tea" fav line

[@RinReforged]

2:38 XD The Doctor's face is like "well arent you two happy being ginger with your ginger hair"

[@blitz7326]

My grandma is a red-head.

[@zaynabpatel0000]

The doctor has always wanted to be a ginger

[@asswipe8062]

**jelousy intensifies**

[@emilythezeldafan848]

hah someones jealous

[@wretchica]

The doctor's dancing at Amy's wedding makes me laugh every time! Haha!

[@robertgrigore2548]

You must be the drunk Giraffe, you've gotta commit!

[@noellecleary771]

i know lollolololololololololol

[@Silverwind87]

The world doesn't end because the Doctor dances.

[@charlottetaylor4979]

Bunny Ears 3:25. The names Who.Doctor Who

[@RadiantBleu]

Yees

[@gamonstudios]

Anyone notice on the season 5 finale when everyone remembers the doctor and Rory says " he was the stripper at my stag"

[@Hh-sp3fh]

I noticed it too

[@nikareading8356]

"I was plastic, he was the stripper at my stag" Rory's my favorite right after Donna

[@shadowbunny1019]

"i've got a space ship, i've got my boys.." "we are not her boy" "yes we are" "ok we are" xD

[@blitz7326]

Shadow bunny+ who run the world? Girls.

[@AbsoluteAbsurd]

lol

[@scb0611]

Wonder Bunny they always run the world.

[@theincrediblewolverine1364]

So many innuendoes in this series

[@misterphlossy6631]

+coast to coast am agreed lol

[@kelseyspringer72]

get a girlfriend Jeff that was awesome. delete your Internet history

[@almostcanadian9495]

SERIOUSLY.

[@blitz7326]

Doodle so gabby+ I think so. YUCK!

[@thedoctor5211]

"Tardis Bang Bang Daleks BOOM" LOL

[@serena2324]

+The Doctor one of the best lines ever. xD

[@ethangamingboy2797]

Doctor where's the Tardis

[@feyasatos]

I was on that part when I read your comment

[@HellfireXChaotica]

"I have chosen! Of course!" *smacks her fiancée* "it's you stupid."

[@Dovaah]

Doctor: "Hello! Laptop. Gimme!" Jeff: "No, it's mine-" Doctor: "Give. It. Here." *pause* Doctor: "Blimey, get a girlfriend, Jeff..."

[@DrWatson4]

Easy fix for this hit a quick ctrl w closes current window

[@kayleenepetaoakdownmcdonal2942]

TARDIS bang-bang, Daleks BOOM! Moffat at his best.

[@shikarifox4337]

This is what I came here for

[@mr.scarlo2234]

After this series, Moffat’s work on the show went downhill.

[@keskonriks710]

That Episode was written by mark gatiss IIRC

[@atharvadeshpande6907]

That was Gatiss

[@anabelgauthier9013]

the oldest question in the world is will the doctor get ginger

[@pileofhazelnuts]

Nope but he went grey

[@anabelgauthier9013]

+cora newton the doctor says:noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@spacebeam6480]

Cora The ghost hunter he started off grey...

[@QueerAtKent]

He cannot. The hair color ginger/red is reserved for a very special type of timelord who can see al of time at once.

[@valeriecrespo4637]

Will Mccartha the doctor has said he sees all of time at once soooo

[@electricprofessional8312]

"I thought I was in the wrong cake... again..."

[@Snake-oh6mg]

"Raww" "Owww!" "See your not stone now run" "You bit me!" "And your alive" "I have a mark look at my hand" "And your alive did I mention" "Your teeth, space teeth" "Yea alive all I'm saying" 0:51 Lol

[@JKolman1179]

My next dog I'm going to name "Pond". Just so I can say "Come along, Pond!"

[@averya.5675]

Amy Pond hates u now :3 XD

[@jamma.77]

"Arise... Roman person." This always makes me laugh!

[@stupidandcelestial2991]

"Stop talking. Brain thinking. Hush."

[@eleven5885]

x3 ahah

[@endymion7585]

"We have comfy chairs, did I mention" "We have no need of comfy chairs" "I made him say comfy chairs"

[@shinystars5535]

Amy : If I could return in time our kids will have very very red hair! The doctor : the ultimate ginge lmfao😂😂

[@eleven5885]

Amy didnt say 'if I could return in time' she said 'if we had got marries out kids would have had very very red hair'

[@PanicBasedRiot]

The eleventh doctor: actual five year old!

[@atharvadeshpande6907]

Until you make him angry or break his rules... then God help you

[@UndeadReshiram]

... Amy tried to make a move on her son-in-law.... Technically since (SPOILERS) Doccy here is married to Riversong, and Riversong is Melody Pond, Rory and Amy's daughter... That makes Amy and Rory the Doctor's parents in law....

[@damienstanton5713]

Technically this hadn't happened in their timeline yet so she wasn't his mother in law.

[@clematicbaloo3501]

Kitsune-Kira confusing much? Lol

[@faerie5926]

XD yep

[@homey_hoe]

River- I'm his wife!! Amy- Ya!! And I'm his..I'm his......mother-in-law

[@zinki120]

The ultimate ginger. The ultimate ginge.

[@themangle7782]

"Aren't you going to turn your back?" asks Rory."Nope." answers Amy O_O oh jeez

[@AksentNethariaFilm]

"The only thing I've seen uglier than you is... your mum!"

[@jareththegoblinking3191]

AksentNetharia try saying that to a dalek

[@misterphlossy6631]

Poor Rory always everyone's whipping boy. Lol

[@jindo5]

Kinda like the black guy from series 1... Ricky? Or Mickey? Whatever his name was.

[@DangItshere]

oowwwhh REKT

[@TheDoctor2007]

AksentNetharia loved that part.

[@101viva]

I love the behind the scenes of the kissing scene bc they're like "Matt, stop kissing her back...."

[@chanighanima2175]

i love doctor who no matter who plays the role of the doctor. but my heart belongs to my doctor: my matt smith doctor.

[@Tsukiakari-qb3tk]

Matt Smith has been by Doctor since the Eleventh Hour!

[@beyongtheworld]

"Yours is bigger than mine... - Let's no go there!" ahaha I forgot that line xD

[@MikotoKusanagi]

I don't know why, but when I saw that part, I just though of Amy saying "Oh yes let's definitely go there" XD

[@reggiereggiesauce5755]

Anyone else spot the euphemism in 'Yours is bigger than mine.' 'Let's not go there.'

[@itmeyaboitheline3419]

Reggie Reggie Sauce Hell Yea

[@mckenzieraynor8436]

Oh yes, i was dying

[@Asmanaziir]

No, you are literally the only adult watching Doctor Who.

[@AngelEmfrbl]

Day of the doctor has 10 and 11 pilull out sonics and ten tell 11 about compensating for something.

[@dilfsdilfsdilfs]

3:03 the concern on matts face when he says "youve swalloed a planet" gets me everytime😂

[@natalielam8969]

TARDIS bang bang, Daleks boom I can't

[@mehdihatami585]

Very fun

[@isyl2341]

"Why did you make the sign of the cross you numpty?"

[@BforBilbo]

Amy to Rory: Shut up *kiss* Doctor: Yeah, shut up! LOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOL

[@curtismega7591]

"It's a fez, I wear a fez now, fezzes are cool." I'll admit I prefer it to 12's shite sunglasses -_-

[@chapiduh1044]

+Mikasa Pinata i hate the idea with the sunglasses so much >_

[@curtismega7591]

***** I hope River liberates us from the sunglasses too

[@ghiblicat]

It would be awesome if River did it hahaha

[@curtismega7591]

Annabeth Granger Doctor: "Nowadays, I'm all about wearable technolog-" River: Peter, you hate the glasses, I hate the glasses, the entire fanbase hates the glasses, give them here. Doctor: But Moffat says- River: Screw Moffat and let me disintergrate the glasses.

[@ghiblicat]

I feel like it would be like that scene where Amy throws the fez into the air and River disintegrate it hahaha

[@evepepin8693]

I forgot to turn off the automatic captions and IM DYING Tardis bang bang daleks boom : Now this fine fine garlic who

[@lorenzolodge9535]

Karma Police It’s the Italian version

[@littlepowles]

Amy- ow I think the baby's coming Rory- are you sure Amy- would I make it up at a time like this Rory- well you do have a history .. If being very beautiful Lol wet myself

[@tamesuperjazz2803]

"alright, it's a jammie dodger but I was promised tea!" I was drinking tea with jammie dodgers at that moment... yaay

[@generalartist420]

Amy: "If they're fish people it explains why they hate the sun." *Why did it sound so cute and funny at the same time!?*

[@ahlaam7590]

I'm still not over the 11th doctor. I don't want to watch the 12th doctor yet

[@ellarosie02]

You should, 12 is brilliant

[@pordikordi5161]

Same

[@LorenHelgeson]

Spongebob Squarepants Personally, I enjoy Capaldi's doctor. Not a fan of Clara, though. But I can't really place my problem with her.

[@piranha7460]

Well then i got some REAL good news for you about the 13th pal...

[@comic.studio]

PiranhaTooth I'm from the future and you'll be glad to see the 14th my friend.

[@onismbeloved]

7:48 and all the other false alarms are hilarious

[@kurono122]

Amy: Got my space ship, got my boys, my work here is done~

[@Zacho789]

9:12 That's so weird knowing that Amy's his mother (in law).

[@supersexyghotmew95]

i know riiiiight river gonna kill her mummy

[@Silverwind87]

Anon ssh, spoilers ;)

[@mrs_mak4561]

At that time she wouldn’t of been his mother

[@MilatovichFamily]

And the doctor is also her father because she ciuld regenerate before giving her rest of regenerations to the doctor to save him.

[@ShAdwBlOoD-vx6bs]

3:03 you swallowed a planet

[@Unsaltedsalt_]

ShAd0w BlOoD201 LEL

[@pierocubertino5845]

maybe she swallowed the lost moon of poosh :v

[@deadman3824]

I've been waiting for someone to make this comment!

[@satvrnamvs7149]

Best doctor ever! I love the he loves bow ties! In one episode he's like "bow ties are cool" and Amy says "no their really not..." And then the doctor says "yes they now shut up and let me think!"

[@marshpotato2001]

7:9 "Yours is bigger than mine!" "...Lets not go there..." xD Oh god wtf....

[@dracowolf3212]

Rory: Are you not gonna turn your back? Me and Amy: Nope!

[@averya.5675]

XD me: what in the name of whovains!!!

[@Hh-sp3fh]

Lol

[@katierosefun7722]

God, I love Amy!!!! Rory: Aren't you gonna turn your back? Amy: Nope.

[@WannabeJackassStars]

"You've swallowed a planet!" "I'm pregnant." "You're huge!" "Yeah I'm pregnant!" "Look at you. When worlds collide!" "Doctor I'm pregnant." "Oh look at you both---five years later and you haven't changed a bit apart from aging!" "It's good to see you doctor!" "...Are you pregnant?" Also: "Yours is bigger than mine!" "Don't go there."

[@ThesleeplesswandererBlogspot6]

Rory : yours is bigger than mine 11th : Let's not go there xD

[@madhatter2825]

What in the name of sanity have you got on your head??

[@amypond6467]

its a fez now, fezzes are cool.

[@imomogencrab3505]

Idk but i've got nothing IN my head except Doctor Who

[@KPJohnson85]

Is it just me or is The Doctor incapable of thinking WITHOUT speaking? That seems to have been a recurring theme of the show/character. He'll go on rants and then near its end do something incredibly brilliant that saves the day. Example, from Family of Blood (S3, David Tennant): The Doctor: Oh, I think the explanation might be you've been fooled by a simple olfactory misdirection. Little bit like ventriloquism of the nose. It's an elementary trick in certain parts of the galaxy, but it has gotta be said, I don't like the look of that hydrochronometer. It seems to be indicating that you've got energy feedback all through the retrostabilizers feeding back into the primary heat converters. Oh! 'Cause if there's one thing you shouldn't have done, you shouldn't have let me press all those buttons. But in fairness, I will give you one word of advice: RUN!

[@LibertyBridgeProductions]

He’s fantastic what a series

[@TARDISFanMan]

Wonder how sickening it was for the TARDIS to 'watch' that mini make-out session between The Doctor and Amy

[@CCSFM0110]

She probably wasn't too leased with either of them.

[@TARDISFanMan]

Caitlyn Coble Well, she should be glad The Doctor was resisting at least.

[@CCSFM0110]

Ryan McFly Wow, I missed the "P" key. Anyways, I agree that should be glad that the Doctor resisted. I don't think anyone has made him more uncomfortable.. Except maybe that old lady at the End of Time that was hitting on him.

[@TARDISFanMan]

Caitlyn Coble luckily the TARDIS didn't see that one.

[@CCSFM0110]

Ryan McFly Yeah, she really wouldn't have appreciated that.

[@kiteralla2976]

I love the blimey get a girlfriend Jeff bit😂

[@harveybolton]

"WOULD I MAKE IT UP AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!" "Well.. you do have a history of..." *soul harvesting glance of death* "..being very lovely" Lmao

[@movedchannel50]

I will never forget Matt Smith. He is best Doctor to me. Though Capaldi and Tennant are very very fantastic too.

[@armstrongtics2733]

I really love these three, like if there was ever a maximum level of friendship these three would have gotten there and farther.

[@pixeltreason2968]

Rory: it just happened. Amy: Oh shut up. *kisses* *doctor walks up* Doctor: Yeah shUT UP.

[@ZirconX1]

That moment when you realize the iconic sound of the TARDIS is nothing more than the engine screaming in agony as the Doctor flies it around space and time with the friggin brakes on xD

[@Kai-gf9mg]

Matt is adorable omg.

[@danielsaenz4928]

Fezzzes are cool. Lol

[@CTyankee71]

Daniel Saenz No, no, no. Bow ties are cool !

[@nataliemarie9909]

Stetsons are cool

[@laikax5115]

Look how cool this stuff is!

[@CS9_]

Offices in trains are cool.

[@feyasatos]

First: Bowties are cool Then: Fezzes are cool

[@Ittybritty196]

I can NOT believe you left the BEST part of the fez scene out! I am offended and disappointed! It's not complete unless river song blows the thing up! Otherwise, good compilation.

[@MinecraftWhofan]

But why would we want to see the brutal gory death of the beautiful treasured fez? PS: I was joking about the brutal and gory part

[@Elizabeth-xg3fi]

'Hello! Laptop. Gimme.' 'Nononono- hang on-' 'Give. It. Here.' *sits down with laptop* 'Blimey...get a girlfriend Jeff...' I'll always find this hilarious 😂 don't ask why lmao

[@katiekat44]

“I have chosen. Of course I’ve chosen.” *Rory looking worried* “It’s you stupid”

[@JoannetheShearer]

'yours is bigger than mine' 'let's not go there'

[@seanpatrickcain2]

7:55 Rory: Can't you give her something for the pain?!! Doctor: You don't want natural childbirth? Rory, Amy: NO!!!! LOL

[@Laylo232]

*places hand underneath amy* now, what do we do? Wouldn't you just love to see 11 trying to help someone deliver a baby I mean come on guys

[@aimee3724]

YAAS

[@misterphlossy6631]

The way he talks to his tardis is precious. Lol

[@catherinestampe1499]

Amy...."Oh shut up," Doctor....."Yea! Shut up!" I'm dying......😂😂😂😂😁😁

[@charlottefreeman6188]

My favourite is “You were a little girl 5 minutes ago.” “You’re worse than my aunt.” “I’m the Doctor I’m worse than everyone’s aunt... and that’s not how I’m going to introduce myself.”

[@volatilecheese12]

I love 11 so much. Him and Amy bantering always makes me laugh

[@hotdog1214]

2:50 "But it didn't make the noise" "What noise?" "you know, the...." *Cue Tardis / donkey impression* Hilarious! 😂🤣😂🤣

[@Stumbo99]

I've honestly never seen the Doctor happier than when he was traveling with Amy and Rory

[@AlexeyBeganov]

now we know why the queen said "So much for the virgin queen you bad bad boy!"

[@drxshock6957]

Rory: "Yours is bigger than mine."Doctor: "Lets not go there."Me: **takes sunglasses off to reveal my eyes wide AF** "OH HELL NO!"

[@hi-im-lugh9570]

The ultimate ginger xD

[@أيه-ج2ك4ه]

هل ايمي تحب دكترهو أكثر من زوجها

[@kiwi_sodas]

“Blimey, get a girlfriend, Jeff.” I’m mature but I couldn’t help giggling at that

[@cramerfloro5936]

1:40 D:well, we have some comfy chairs here. A.B.:we have no need for comfy chairs. D:I made him say comfy chairs... If I'll ever meet a terrifying monster of death, who has a monotone voice and cane be reasoned with, I'll have to make them say something funny. Thanks Doctor, for teaching us how!

[@kean5571]

Doctor: Look at you. You swallowed a planet!

[@CharlieKroells]

"Other way idiot" LOL

[@TARDISFanMan]

If I had been with The Doctor and Rory during the 'you kissed her!?" thing, I'd probably like 'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPH' in a fit of silent screaming at the stupidity of The Doctor's reply to Rory.

[@RainbowdashLT]

Why is he so weard so akward but so awsome and so funny :( and wow sometimes i beleve this show turns a dark turn XD

[@PycasneEesost]

Because it's half epic drama and half British satire and comedy..

[@Rx2D]

Eleven's awesomeness made the sting of Ten's "death" almost bearable. S5 was full of so many good moments!

[@perfectlypeachy9369]

OMG I forgot to turn off auto generated captions!!!!! XD CANT BREATHE!!! LAUGHING SO HARD!!!! XD

[@ayezz2811]

Me too! Omg!

[@monochromatic4849]

"can you get me doped up to eat a biscuit." OMFG XD LOLOLOLOLOLOL

[@torificus7155]

+Shadow Flower "Show you a harassed orange"

[@kayleigh4110]

OOhhh Doctor you soniced her.

[@heylily2446]

Oh he's my favorite

[@ellepenne6397]

"Yours is bigger than mine" "Let's not go there" 😂

[@Tlaloc1]

In the dance part, that was Crazy little thing called love by Queen! :]

[@TARDISFanMan]

Looks like The Doctor's had a relapse back to his 3rd incarnation judging by that singing.