"Doctors Of Reddit" #2 | WEIRDEST Patient Stories

[@Bigfoot_With_Internet_Access]

Kid: *Eats ants* Mom: *Feeds them ant poison* Modern problems require modern solution

[@DoctorMike]

Just Some Bigfoot With Internet Access loooool #problemsofprogress

[@nicofrancis6065]

Why do I see you everywhere I go

[@Knockanl1wj]

Jesus mother 101

[@isaacmoraesdornelasdesouza3314]

You are what you eat.

[@CRzyHDedJHny]

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@crffocus2324]

Patient: Gets an idea Rectum: Starts glowing

[@TheMulgee]

I literally LOLed 😂😂

[@pcpc3845]

Oh my God

[@supersakura50]

CRF Focus I lol’d so hard I started to cry laugh 😂😂😂😂😂

[@ash3518]

W H E E Z E

[@Diabloogey]

Oh maaanhh😂😂😂😂😂

[@balkantraveler7674]

My mother taught me a rule: Be 100% honest to your lawyer and your doctor. Wise words, i say....

[@waabmigizi7369]

Tell your lawyer the truth so they can say the court you’re in doesn’t have jurisdiction over your case

[@dragoonsunite]

Do the people advising not to tell your lawyer the truth actually have legal educations? I actually do have some legal education, not a lawyer mind you I sucked at legal writing, but I finished all the mandatory core courses so here we go... There are VERY few cases where lying to your lawyer will help you, the only time I can think of where it would is if you are putting someone in the stand you convinced to perjure themselves for you, in which case the lawyer needs to be unaware of the perjury, of if your illegal actions are ongoing and the lawyers representation or advice would aid in your continued pursuit of illegal activity. Most notably if you tell a lawyer about your plans to kill people or kill someone you will lose confidentiality. But these are the only exceptions to telling your lawyer everything, if your crimes are in the past even if you're a cold blooded serial killer, your lawyer is bound to confidentiality, they can't tell anyone you committed the murders, they can't tell the police where the bodies are buried, they can't be induced to testify against you, and they are free to assume any legal strategy that doesn't involve intentional perjury to seek your freedom (The lawyer is not committing perjury by relaying not guilty and building a legal argument, and all that is necessary is anyone on the stand believe everything they say and that fact be demonstrable). The case of watching someone wrongfully convicted of a murder your client committed and getting life in prison is an opening case for legal ethics classes for this very reason. The notable exception? If someone is wrongfully convicted of a crime your client committed and sentenced to death you can testify to save a life as this becomes an inadvertent future murder based on your clients actions. But double jeopardy can often still be used to protect your client if the lawyer was intelligent enough to get a verdict that included innocence of murder of each of the named victims. I use murder as the most extreme example, for nearly all other crimes admitting your crime to the lawyer if its in the past becomes a total non issue.

[@ComedyGlor]

a witch's cat actually I think it would be more helpful to tell the full truth (to a lawyer), unless they’re a conscientious public defender. If you’ve got money to pay for a private lawyer, then chances are you’ll be able to find one that’ll defend u regardless of whether u commit the crime or not. And even if u tell someone that doesn’t wanna defend u, they can’t tell anyone bc of the confidentiality thing. So it’s helpful to tell the full truth bc the last thing they’ll want is for a piece of evidence to come to light in court about something that you failed to tell them about. If you tell them in advance, then maybe they can help u form a story in which the evidence won’t work against you. But if you’ve committed a crime, you should know that doctor patient confidentiality won’t stop them from calling the police esp if they think you’re potentially gonna harm yourself or others

[@nohemitrevino540]

@@dragoonsunite that's a lota words...

[@FuriousRazor]

R/whooosh to all of you

[@icarusbinns3156]

Working at a news-sponsored health fair, a standard question was “Have you eaten or drank anything besides water in the last four hours?” Asked this to a woman about her daughter. Lady says “no, of course not” I hear an exasperated sigh, and her teen daughter, “Yes, I have. My blood sugar was 52 twenty minutes ago, so I got myself a soda. I’m not supposed to fast for blood work because I’ll drop low.” I nod, and reply, “Wait until your number is at 150, we don’t want you passing out.” She was happy I knew what she was talking about! 52 is terrifyingly low!

[@nikkiofthevalley]

52!??! How did she not pass out long before then!?

[@icarusbinns3156]

@@nikkiofthevalley I’ve been conscious and gabbling like a dorky toddler at 26. In fact, I’m at 47 right now and very cranky about it

[@nikkiofthevalley]

@@icarusbinns3156 Apparently some people are mpre sensitive to low blood pressure than others. My sister (who is a Type 1 diabetic) passes out at ~65 which is probably highly worrying to a doctor for such and such reason but I have no idea if that's normal or not.

[@icarusbinns3156]

@@nikkiofthevalley I’ve never actually passed out from a low. I’m also Type 1, and coming up on 30 years with it… I have had many minor hypoglycemic seizures. Absolutely terrifying, to have no control over my body. I tend to get kicked out of sleep when I’m low. Looking into getting an alert dog to catch it sooner

[@nikolefinger1747]

@@icarusbinns3156 Type 1 diabetic here too. I usually wake up when I'm low, but one time a few months ago I woke up only when my blood sugar was around 30. I've been fine at lower levels, but I think because I was so sleepy (and maybe my blood sugar actually was lower than I though, especially because I didn't check it for a few hours because I was delirious) I have almost no memory of what happened until I started to come to. We got a senor a few days later. It has helped a bit, but I like the idea of getting an alert dog instead. Mostly because I'd love to adopt another dog.

[@sm4426]

I have so many unanswered questions about the lady stuck on the toilet for three days.

[@beccadotelpy]

OMGRIGHT?!?!?

[@NecrochildK]

Seriously, like how do you even get suction when the seat has space between it and the rim?

[@KimDeoBii]

NecrochildK she probably flushed while sitting. Not only once. XD other than that I really can’t explain how that suction has happened.

[@ketchupketchup6646]

@@KimDeoBii just break the toilet with a hammer if you are so ashamed to call a paramedic.. 😂😂😂😅

[@NecrochildK]

@@KimDeoBii That still wouldn't suction you unless she was sitting on the rim and not the seat.

[@Tomb-Wraith]

Bottom line, the most important advice you can ever learn: Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. That's my senior quote

[@kianaalexis5004]

TombWraith I learned that the hard way when I almost died on the toilet with my pants down. Never felt so ashamed.

[@Tomb-Wraith]

@@kianaalexis5004 You poor thing.

[@joakuz]

@@kianaalexis5004 omg what happened??

[@SjofnBM1989]

Never do anything you don't want written on your tombstone.

[@birdwhoknowswhatsgood1483]

@@kianaalexis5004 how

[@afilina]

So the lessons are: - Don't lie to your doctor. - Don't insert stuff that you shouldn't into any orifice of your body.

[@joiamusic6076]

Anna Filina what about your mouth

[@n00bKen]

AND do not consume anything that's used to kill another organism

[@joiamusic6076]

Kenneth Vun what about peanut butter, eggs, dairy, etc.

[@n00bKen]

@@joiamusic6076 Ah, as long as you're not allergic to those, then you're fine.

[@killrrabbit6910]

Without trying to judge a man's sexual orientation or needs, inserting anything made out of glass is a bad idea.

[@MissAshuhlee]

When I was a sophomore, my mom was having a simple biopsy done, was told not to eat after midnight.. she woke up sometime 3-4 am, hungry and didn't think anything of it. She aspirated, and was put into a coma and was on life support for over two weeks. It was traumatic especially for my younger siblings (at the time this happened I was about 15, my siblings were only 8 & 5) but thankfully & by some miracle my mother survived and recovered 100% no brain damage, no lasting effects.❤️ We take this warning especially, so serious. It's crazy something so small and seemed so harmless, could have shattered so many lives just like that.

[@btblessed2201]

If a parent knew their kid had worms in their poop for 3 months and didn’t take them to the doctor I’d be calling CPS. Just saying.

[@GlamGoddes101]

@@AlyceMalyce the problem isn't that the child had worms, the issue is that the parents waited 2 WHOLE MONTHS before going to the doctor

[@NK-lx8mf]

aroseroe85 The problem with worms is that it is so embaressing for people that not even adults want to admit but rather hope that it goes away

[@Raichous.mom.moments99]

Exactly

[@moviec.h766]

why would they even pay more for x ray and all the other stuff when they KNEW there was worms? it could have been so much more cheaper for them?

[@btblessed2201]

aroseroe85 I get what you’re trying to say but it just doesn’t apply here. If you knew your child had an early stage of cancer but they weren’t “in pain” yet, would you let them sit at home until their cancer progressed and their body started failing? Just because you’re not in pain doesn’t mean you don’t need medical attention. Even if worms are “common” (I’ve never heard this a day in my life, at least not living in the US), they are not normal, and left unattended, depending on the type of worm, they can spread and be FATAL. Most people know this. If you’d knowingly allow your child to live with parasites that could KILL THEM inside their body for THREE MONTHS when you have access to healthcare (it’s a different story for people who just don’t have the money/access and I’m well aware that those situations exist unfortunately), that is by definition child neglect, a form of abuse. It’s illegal in the United States. It’s the same as not feeding your child just because they aren’t crying out in pain due to hunger. It’s the same as not bathing them just because the dirt isn’t causing them “pain”. I’m not judging anybody, I’m sure the parents are probably very nice (and probably confused) people. But that’s not the case in every situation; sometimes bad people are also parents, and you can never be too safe when it comes to innocent children. I never wanna be in a position where I had the opportunity to help a child escape abuse, but didn’t because it’s “not my place” or because I don’t wanna “judge” anybody. If it saves a child from neglect or abuse, it is the right thing to do.

[@Weeb_Goblin]

"Don't put anything in your ear smaller than your elbow" Me, with a watermelon: ight im good

[@dulainey9453]

Let's hope you aren't a vet...

[@averybishop1568]

You sure that's not just an overfed pet?

[@thetiredartist4818]

Boi be lookin' like Stewie Griffin

[@aezryn_art8568]

...earphones 😂

[@aezryn_art8568]

Jk

[@ImTrIgGeREdd]

The best advice I’ve ever heard is that you can tell your doctor litterally anything and they won’t be phased. Because they’ve heard it all, no one will be surprised

[@Roanmonster]

As mama dr Jones says: we all heard it, probably today

[@jwsnyderaal]

Kyra Lavoie I bet so- O.o That reminds me of something minor that was connected to the Dentist. One day, I remember feeling something was wrong with one of my back teeth. It felt like a weird space, and it was a bit jaggy. I remember suddenly getting panicked, but I decided not to tell my mom. I figured that I was overreacting, and that it was nothing. I didn’t wanna bother her more than I had to. It stayed like this for ages, then a dentist’s visit came, and by then I had completely forgotten about the tooth and it was totally normal to me. Suddenly, the dentist’s face seemed concerned, and looked at where the tooth was. I was confused, until I saw a quite concerned look. The dentist look the little mirror out of my mouth, and I was worried. My mom was confused to. Apparently, then I learned, that little thing I was so used to apparently was a cracked tooth. I was asked again and again if there was any pain, but I said no. I never had any pain on it. Then later they ended up discussing if I needed surgery to get it removed. But they chose for my mom and them to discuss it another day soon, and let us go home. When I was at home, I told my mom I felt something there ages ago but I never thought it was important enough to tell her. Lesson learned, tell someone when you have something concerning, even if it seems silly. It’s actually soon gonna fall out for me IRL. Since it is a baby tooth. ;-; but it’s still there- but this event wasn’t ages ago.

[@LestifyYT]

Lol

[@Jakey4000]

@@jwsnyderaal to add to that, brush your teeth! I've now had 2 wisdom teeth that didn't need to be removed taken out, I didn't brush very often due to the powerful combination of untreated ADHD and depression. Both times I went on powerful antibiotics while I saved the money for the dentist, and both times the tooth was beyond cracked, had a hole the 1/3rd the size of a pinky nail and filled with decaying food and tooth innards, if you want to smell hell, smell that. I still have one of the teeth, they let you keep them but one was in Australia and when I moved out I couldn't take the other tooth home because of biosecurity issues that it would have.

[@wonybong]

haha yea

[@podemosurss8316]

5:20 I remember reading that one of the oldest diagnosis conserved within documents was about worms. In the 3rd century CE the Chinese surgeon Hua Tuo (which could be considered the Chinese Hipocrates) was called by a provincial governor who suffered from strong stomach pain. Hua Tuo inspected him and then prepared a purgant. He vomited about two liters (or equivalent in Chinese measurement units) of parasytes, it turns out he liked eating a sushi-like raw fish dish, and those often contained the eggs and larvae of a parasyte species, which accumulated in his stomach. At first, the patient seemed to improve with the treatment, but after Hua Tuo left the province he started eating those dishes again, and died two years later. Best part is that we have this diagnosis because it was included in the historical chronicles, as the patient was an important person. Hua Tuo ended up executed after failing to remove a brain tumor to the Chinese warlord Cao Cao, who died from the tumor. He had diagnosed it, and he started operation, but even though he removed most of the tumor, it methastasized (or how it's written in English). His son, angered by the failure of Hua Tuo, had him executed.

[@lauramabe6578]

Neat! How did he operate to remove a brain tumor in the 3rd century??

[@oliviastratton2169]

It's crazy that during a time when many doctors around the world could perform lethal trepanning procedures without any consequences, this guy got executed for failing to cure cancer. That's some bad luck.

[@diablo.the.cheater]

@@lauramabe6578 With a lot of lube i presume

[@skydragon84]

Oof. Well, for those wondering, there are a few brain surgeries even today where the patient is kept awake so they can monitor the reaction of nerves and bodily function. Some patients do a favorite activity, like playing and instrument or doing a puzzle.

[@podemosurss8316]

@@skydragon84 In this case, Hua Tuo used a primitive form of anaesthetics called "mafeisan" in which he would get the patient high on opium prior to surgery.

[@spencerbrown3875]

My rectum: *exists* Lightbulb: It’s free real estate.

[@LH-xo2hf]

Spencer Brown aaaaaah🤣

[@Adam-ht2kf]

Ahhhh ur funy man

[@casey3413]

Who doesn't enjoy a little light foreplay every now and then?

[@Adam-ht2kf]

@@casey3413 me i dont wanna get cooties

[@marygrace9422]

I laughed for a while at this comment. I can't even 😂😂😂

[@Mr26muel]

She is not an ant so ant poison will only kill the ants inside her. *Flawless logic*

[@kxasrk2035]

26muel THE WHAT

[@anatigxumisa735]

ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS!!

[@cinnabonbon]

Logic: 💯

[@qieratinnie4932]

Omg u should become a docter xD

[@Damini368]

You know what’s even better logic? Poison is poison, so don’t eat it. Ever. For any reason. Even if it won’t cause harm, why tempt fate?

[@immortaljodi]

"Don't put anything in your ears" My hearing-aid wearing self: well damnit

[@lillystar3405]

I can relate! ( ARMYYYYY)

[@naniortiz3223]

Thanks for making me laugh 😆

[@alibeck1383]

Riley Ambrose- But it’s not IN your EAR. 😮

[@meme-gn3nc]

Army!

[@stargatelover3]

Riley Ambrose My hearing loss is bad enough that q tips can’t do much to me anyways😂

[@lisaleone2296]

The one about the tampon hit home with me. My sister actually died from an infection that started with a disposable menstrual cup that she forgot to take out. When the abdominal pain started, she thought it was indigestion and started pounding antacids. When the odor became more prevalent, she switched from toilet paper to deodorant feminine wipes. By the time she saw a gynecologist, the doctor found 2 menstrual cups and a tampon applicator (the plastic part) inside her vagina. She said she hadn't used a menstrual cup since living with me and taking one of mine. That was about 4 years before the removal. The items had to be surgically removed. She was given massive amounts of antibiotics, but ended up going into multiple organ failure.

[@mercyistired]

I am so sorry that happened to her, she must have been in an insane amount of pain.

[@margaretbush]

Jesus….. that’s what I fear as well rip

[@margaretbush]

Question how did she end up having 3 different products in her urethra without even feeling them??

[@patmaurer8541]

I'm so sorry for your loss ❤

[@patmaurer8541]

​@@margaretbush The items would have been in the vagina (where menstrual blood comes from), not the urethra (where urine come from).

[@adaezenjoku7527]

There's honestly no point in making up a story because the doctors and nurses can see right through it.

[@Undomaranel]

Honesty is the best policy. Also, you get mad respect from medical staff for being upfront and humble. They won't treat you like an idiot and you'll retain some dignity.

[@austinchandler3079]

Yeah, honestly you might as well say you're not going to tell them how "blank" got there.

[@stellannie86]

Well in that case it shouldn't matter if you lie or not, right? :)

[@bongratunrthdoxtrsh5324]

@@stellannie86 aside from probs feeling humiliated after they bring up the fact that they see through your bs through one way or another, sure lmao

[@Pumpkin_3890]

@@bongratunrthdoxtrsh5324 and the responds will be delayed. As in their medical respons to an injury.

[@diegols6263]

"That is no bueno." Spanglish with Dr. Mike.

[@anonymousobrian1155]

That's a chistoso comentario my amigo.

[@bonsaw57]

Haters gonna hate :/.

[@pastasalad3940]

Shaniya Taylor They'll hate his flawless Spanish accent, of course

[@amberinthebox4462]

Lol every white person in florida uses that. Lol idk y. I do too

[@felicityguillen]

*Fiesta Salsa Quinceniera Baila*

[@eleventyeleven]

When I was just over 1 I bit into a laundry pod. It squirted out everywhere but the majority got in my eyes. My mother immediately rushed me to the bathroom to wash my eyes out vigorously. After I was sent to A&E the doctors were able to clean out the detergent. When the doctor came out to reassure my mom I was gonna be fine, he explained that I would have lost my sight if she hadn’t cleaned out my eyes with the water. Wash your eyes out immediately if anything gets into them!

[@Jartran72]

Good job to your mom. Maybe not so much child proofing your home but she reacted correctly.

[@zotasalt8994]

Thank God she did!

[@BunkerTiger]

SAME T_T

[@aveyondfan1802]

Your mother did good. I’m very proud of her.

[@Xosidhe]

Your mom let you eat Tide Pods though...

[@Blonde_Preppy]

I love how this guy is just so wholesome, like he makes my evening wayyyy better when I'm relaxing. I love learning about medical and scientific things, and he makes them fun and easy to learn.

[@brookewilliams9384]

Doctor mike looks like a professional samba dancer with that shirt

[@Ambitiousmillie]

Brooke Williams 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@AllenTax]

You dance with him? I would if could.😄

[@AnnMarcelino]

Right? Are you sure you're Russian and not Brazilian, Mike? 😂

[@aislingmcgann396]

Olay 💃

[@forgottenecho2163]

😂😂😂

[@kostaskanistras6318]

Kid: **Eats ants** Mother: I am gonna do what's called a pro-gamer move.

[@Duckduckgoose7]

BIG BRAIN!

[@tieman3790]

Stinky brain

[@DoctorMike]

This made me LOL in the hospital =]

[@sekory88]

ok...who allowed her to have children wtf xD.

[@shinsou_addictedgirl8388]

In Philippines we sometimes day ants make voices sound better UwU 😁😁😁😂😂😂

[@Melthornal]

"I dont do weird stuff" "So, I have a dishwasher full of nuts."

[@infinity-gn9xq]

You got him.. 🤣🤣

[@malinasworld]

lmaoo underrated

[@vasemedroserii]

Poor guy is never gonna live that down :P

[@szonjacook]

I forgot about that 😂😂😂😂

[@hannaadkison8148]

That’s all I could think about when he said it 😂😂😂 was looking for this comment.

[@mistylee717]

Note to self: don’t work outside on a ladder while naked.

[@clueless_cutie]

... or surrounded by phallic shaped objects, vegetables, or vacuum cleaners! You'd be amazed at how viciously those things will attack an exposed part of the body!

[@TheMishur]

why will anyone even be naked on a ladder in PUBLIC

[@TheMishur]

also in front of the garage

[@potatofuryy]

@@TheMishur you aren’t?

[@theexplainer1576]

Wouldve been nice to know that earlier

[@howdyfolks8443]

Kid: *has ants in body* Mom: *puts ant poison in body to kill ants* *BIG BRAIN*

[@raza3168]

I love BTS 3000 BIG BRÜN

[@oo8962]

I see a meme about something's like this but whoa, I'm shocked there's one person that have no common sense at all.

[@chelseykok8374]

Yeah but she is so fdup the ants are already dead XD

[@torihall2972]

🤣🤣 yea shes so dumb im so glad my mom isnt like that

[@actualbatman6330]

I love BTS 3000 aww yes big brain time has begun

[@maddyrose6143]

*no one:* ants already dead from being eaten by a kid. *the kid's mom:* we gotta make sure tho

[@AnnMarcelino]

😂😂😂😂

[@jessikapiche6097]

As disturbing as it may seems, no. The ants are so resistant (if not crush by teeth) that their exosqueleton will give them the possibility to bite through the tissu and enter the blood stream. That'S how they kill birds, cutting through their arteries and going to their brain and heart. But i am talking about african ants here. Still that mom was ...mistaken to do this.

[@theunicorn1167]

Sylvain Piche ??? WHAT How come ants survive a dangerous acidic juice inside of us, but we wouldn‘t if it wasn‘t for the special structure of our stomachs??

[@arnavanand8037]

@@jessikapiche6097 for a moment you scares me for eating ants at age 6

[@jessikapiche6097]

@@arnavanand8037 no, i used to burn them with a magnifier though... bad of me. But my friend was worst... He came with mini firecrackers and that's when the fun began... Terrible of us... Espacially now that i have a very respect for their incredible importance in renewing the forest, breathing of the soil, and how they are able to cultivate mushrooms and antibiotics... They deserve our respect. And we think we are anything special... har, har, har,...

[@TheDarkSunChannel]

Woman: * poops in bed * Nurse: * walks in * Woman: LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE Nurse: wha- Woman: I'M GONNA SUE YOU

[@larrymccarthy3068]

nurse: does the lawyer come from the law offices of haagen and dasz?

[@bobbiesoales4149]

Sounds like something Trump might actually do though..

[@gforce9322]

I'm starting to see a Karen here

[@cortster12]

@@bobbiesoales4149 Really gotta bring politics into here, man?

[@thefuckingpearl]

@@bobbiesoales4149 um was not necessary

[@snoozyq9576]

I'll never forget the time I had worms as a kid. I'd never heard of this before and felt incredibly horrified. Luckily they just went away

[@Xamerax]

I had worms for so long as a kid. Harmless except itchyness, but had them pretty much constantly between 8-12 yo.. i treated them as a part of my body. Disappeared after i learned proper hygiene(which i had to teach myself) .Which is extreamily disgusting to think about

[@blackcactuz]

When Dr.Mike mentioned that dog shouldn’t eat chocolate, I kind of expect Bear to walk in

[@DoctorMike]

blackcactuz bear is sitting next to me right now and he’s not happy (he’s a chocolate bear) lol

[@nyla9]

Lmao me too

[@cnasaraha.2140]

@@DoctorMike No chocolate or peanut butter.....!

[@sadijav1867]

@@DoctorMike can u plzzzzz talk about tmd?

[@sadijav1867]

@@DoctorMike plz. Like me comment tooooo . I am waiting for 4 hours

[@sub_par3174]

I like how the big take away here is just “be honest with your doctor” not “don’t put weird objects into your body “

[@Steve211Ucdhihifvshi]

Well idiots gunna do what idiots do.

[@HunGredy]

That's because putting object where they don't belong is not the only stupid thing people do. The ant poison one had me shocked for a minute...

[@lunawolfheart336]

I'm guessing those people are too embarrassed to use proper toys or to go out and buy one. Wich is understandable. So they use random objects instead that get stuck

[@joey070893]

@@HunGredy agree. Natural selection doesn't work as well nowadays. Dumb people cause death for others while they themselves more likely will survive till old age.

[@hilary3219]

​@@lunawolfheart336 Yeah, but like I really don't understand how this is less embarrassing. Also, like you can order anything online now.

[@anonymoushuman7794]

8:23 I think the best thing I heard is that a dude had something up his rectum, IIRC a carrot, and when the doctor asked how he said this: "you know what I was doing, I know what I was doing, get it out and I won't be back". credit for honesty.

[@nickllama5296]

I don't even understand why doctors ask this anymore. We all know how it got up there.

[@bmxrichard21]

​@@nickllama5296 sexual assault is possible. And this "falling" on object is possible to (I saw some videos, where this happened, but with so much people lying about it, i dont think what they say could be decisive). I dont get why this people are making so big things from this. from the doctor's point of view - having a patient with a toy in his nose or rectum is better, than patient with a toy in trachea or eye.

[@MrPaulMorris]

@@bmxrichard21 'Falling' on something is certainly possible and can cause tremendous damage--as a former comrade learnt when he landed on the muzzle of his rifle when jumping down from a truck. Not a pretty sight stretchering him into the Medical Centre (luckily enough we were right outside when it happened). As Doctor Mike has told us many times--and we were taught in our Air Force first aid training--don't remove any penetrating object. It did pose a few queries as the weapon was still loaded at the time...

[@michaelhinman1770]

@@MrPaulMorris ouch! That must have been very interesting to try to immobilize. As hard as it would be to immobilize, it would make you start to wonder if the risk of damage from movement while clearing the rifle would be worth the reduction of risk from removing the live round, especially since it would almost certainly move anyway...

[@snoozyq9576]

You should never assume anything. I have to ask seemingly obvious questions at my job in a call center because you never really know

[@thysonsacclaim]

That getting stuck on the toilet thing is real. I read a story and watched a video about a woman who was stuck on her toilet for YEARS. In Her case, I think it was extreme agoraphobia and anxiety. She would have her husband bring food to her. The way it happened was that she had been going through rough times. One day she just went in to the bathroom, and just decided to never leave. It was so, so, so sad. The reason she took so long to get help was shame. We really need to work on not shaming people for their mental illnesses. They're just as real, devastating and deadly as physical ones.

[@richapborne6870]

8:26 I hate when I’m eating and my toothpick falls into my urethra

[@kelceyc1509]

🤣🤣

[@Microwaveswoo]

Zucchini Soda 😂 😂 😂

[@richapborne6870]

Bro this really isn’t funny the guy was a making a serious statement when he said that you really are insensitive for no thinking what pain that cause him when I happened I’m reporting you for doing don’t do it again or I’ll sue you for harrasment

[@Microwaveswoo]

Zucchini Soda Bro what

[@richapborne6870]

Naomi Erdos cat ssssss

[@dutchvanderlinde7081]

Imagen being in the ER and and hearing the doctor say beewoop

[@sock225]

That would be awesome!!!

[@stellannie86]

A doctor: *.starts stitching a gushing wound*. Also the doctor: "Let's do this - beewoop!!"

[@chineloezekwesili398]

Your profile pic is everything g

[@huggablethepanda4660]

I would look around like is doctor mike here

[@icyhot3955]

it's PEEWOOPPP

[@Smingleflorp]

I don’t do cocaine. I just like the smell.

[@XJunixAnnexKayxScarX]

Bill Morris mom? 😂

[@Omar-zj3kz]

It’s smells of patrol bro jus go buy some patrol 😂

[@TobeEvans]

I thought it was sugar!!

[@sapphire125]

Like 420 😏

[@ashidomina4272]

@@TobeEvans snort smarties lmao

[@s4turn_st4rz_yt]

1:00 I personally never do that! The sensation is amazing but as soon as I learned, I stopped. What I do instead? Stand in the shower, head tilted so your ear faces up, water from shower head goes in ear, it beats in your ear and does about the same sensation. No damage as far as I know! It also kind of flushes your ear wax too so it's practical as well as satisfying.

[@sbeveboi4503]

Exposing myself:when I was like 6 I didn’t want to eat the peas on my dinner plate, 2 hours later I was having surgery to get 6 peas out of my nose

[@daniasajid6742]

Bhahaha

[@ruthamos2312]

My sister and I did NOT like to eat peas when we were little. So Dad waits until AFTER he dropped Mom off at the grocery store, came home and taught us how to eat peas off a butter knife. Mom never did figure out why we all of a sudden liked eating peas...we didn't tell her. By the way if you get really silly and stick the butter knife too far into your jaws you can hit the back of the throat and gag...

[@IndependentOreo]

I- O h

[@septicember]

@Steve when I was I shoved a cotton ball up my nose and it stayed there for 2 weeks.... no one realized until it started to smell

[@conserztasfia0078]

Same one time I got a pea in my nose(i was 4-5 then) Which causes a lot of hassle for my parents And 2 years ago i got an cotton in my ear Then the doctor said i have fungus infection (something related with) in my ear And now my left year still hurts

[@annamilewski4753]

When my sister was around 3 years old, she use to eat ants off the floor ALL. THE. TIME. My dad found out and just laughed and said "good nutrition." I can't imagine what went through this woman's head to feed her child ANT POISON.

[@herrschmidt5477]

She heard the president supports shooting sanitizer vs Covid19. Poison vs ants is basically the same :D

[@shmeepness1700]

Eating ants is nutritional? Hmmmm

[@cheng-x10]

@@shmeepness1700 Long story short, protein from animals :D

[@kristophesiem5336]

Insects usually don't need cooking, so unless you mind the crawling while they are alive, they are perfectly edible

[@B2.Benedajenzo]

when i was a child my mom said that i used to eat ants as well and she said that its good for the voice

[@rainarodriguez5068]

The menopause one actually made me yell😂😷 holyyyyy cow.

[@louyirabbitkim8207]

🙅

[@audreyganz2638]

IKR! How did she not get toxic shock syndrome?

[@mayaaa1833]

Audrey Ganz so she had a tampon in for 7 yrs or did i rlly understand the wrong way?

[@kinn4086]

@@mayaaa1833 I thought she was definitely pleasuring herself, because wouldn't you push it out eventually (i.e. after a huge meal when you're ridding yourself of said huge meal)?

[@Karin_Allen]

@@kinn4086 I don't see how that's possible. 1) You're not going to feel pleasure from anything dry unless you're just kinked that way, and 2) even if she lubed it before inserting it, it would take a lot longer than 1 day to smell bad enough to make her go to the ER, and 3) depending on her anatomy, she might not have been able to poop it out. And that leads us back to the central question of why the f*ck she let that thing stay inside her for seven years??? All I can figure is that she forgot to take it out at the time, then forgot it entirely until the doctor found it. I once read a story about an *almost* equally disgusting tampon incident, but I don't want to make anyone vomit.

[@psychedelicpunk5031]

The ammount of fluids that tampon would have absorbed over all those years, how did she not come in sooner? That is insane. Hopefully they were able to get that fixed for her and help her recover.

[@shiralaine]

embarassment due to odor, anxiety of admitting a mistake, and not being properly informed of vaginal health. it makes a lot of sense. just glad this case wasnt a deadly one, it easily couldve been

[@turnipthebeet7861]

When I was 13 I was admitted into the hospital and put into one of those semi closed off "rooms" with the curtain at the end. It was ok for what it was, had a sink and everything. Then about 30 minutes after getting into it a homeless person literally crawled out of the cabinet under the sink and just walked off. The Nurse told me that he had been there earlier today and had just disappeared. About an hour later I was on my way to another hospital.

[@hannahfortin]

Turnip the Beet how has this not gotten more likes

[@animationspace8550]

To be honest, imagine being the other guy. While you are entitled to the luxury of a roof and a hospital at ease, this homeless man is practically going through something. We live in a society.

[@creature8911]

I would've been confused af 😂😂😂

[@stevethellama007]

why did you change hospitals for that i dont understand

[@SootWhisker]

Omg aghhhhh

[@oggy9jack263]

Mike: thinks butt-hole will get him demonetized Also Mike: continually says cocaine without worry

[@satisfiedpeople1250]

BurgerGamez doesn’t make any sense?

[@oggy9jack263]

@@satisfiedpeople1250 saying any type of drug in a KZbin video will get you demonetized

[@satisfiedpeople1250]

Any proof ?

[@marcelocandioto785]

@@satisfiedpeople1250 just google it

[@oggy9jack263]

@@satisfiedpeople1250 I don't think the KZbin algorithm likes people talking about drugs. It would most likely say: 'This video promotes bad activity/behaviour.' Something like that

[@dajoler]

Whenever a patient lies to me, I discreetly play the "Why You Always Lying" song on my phone and pretend it's my ringtone. I let them go again, wait a bit, play it again -- a lot them usually crack by the third time.

[@TragicTortellini]

TheGuitar Person That’s amazing. 😂😂😂

[@bonsaw57]

Nah you really don’t. Good joke though!

[@edith1315]

😂😂😂

[@monicanguyen641]

Emily Jones Hearts o

[@cinnamondreams]

That's great! 😂👌

[@pauls7863]

I'm always completely honest with my doctors for the simple reason: I WANT MY MONEY'S WORTH!!!

[@ericpieknyi7490]

oh look an american

[@foty8679]

@@ericpieknyi7490 I dont pay doctors directly, only indirectly over tax and i never lied to my doctor.

[@patmaurer8541]

I think he simply meant that it's in one's own best interest to be honest.😊

[@psychott6]

Yes, lying to doctors is wasting money and time

[@WolfAngel2264]

Honestly that kind of seems like a negligence case that the parents saw WORMS in their child's stool for 3 months and did nothing.

[@cb9825]

it seems they are quite dumb too. didn't they pay lots of money for all the tests and spend extra 5-6 hours in the hospital? instead of just telling about the worms and getting a treatment cheaper and faster.

[@AllenTax]

CPS. It clearly seemed intentional. To have sympathy. Maybe she a Karen and wanted to die. As maybe she think they never find out and their child dies.

[@jessikapiche6097]

You have to realize some people have very ...basic health knowledge...and very ...old religious belief... that make them totally unsuitable to care for a child. Yet they do. That's why you need to be ...socially perceptive...to catch the truth from what people are saying.

[@s.a.8548]

I'll tell you it's not as bad as you think. It's completely harmless plus the worms are really small and you can get the medicine off the counter. You don't want to know how I know.

[@BeeWhistler]

@@jessikapiche6097 The religious belief is not excuse. I have religious beliefs and also know better than to let a sick kid suffer when a doctor can help.

[@charliephoenix3674]

Every doctor: Don't put q-tips in your ears Me: mm brain scratchy feel good :)

[@Ember-Raine]

Me too 😂😂 I love the feeling of q-tips in my ears.

[@QuinncyHy]

When I do it I start coughing

[@Creatorsan]

My mom: *SHOVES THEM UP MY EARS!* Me: *" OW!! MOM YOUR SPREADING BACTERIA!!"* My mom: "THERES NO BACTERIA IN THERE! YOU GOTTA CLEAN THEM!!" Me: "Why do I hate doing it then? WHAT IF THERES COTTON SHOVED UP MY EAR CANAL?!" My mom: "YOUR OVERREATING!" Me: "NO IM NOT!" My mom: *_Kids,.._*

[@Trainwreck_Art]

@@QuinncyHy If you cough, it's too far. Stop before you get to that point.

[@ThexBlackxKitty]

You have to stop the q-tip when there's RESISTANCE!!

[@dannyboi_exe]

Doctor mike: tickle, tickle tickle, that is no Bueno Duolingo: FINALLY A MAN WORTHY OF MY PRESENCE

[@you_actually_read_these_702]

I made it 50 likes 🙃

[@dannyboi_exe]

@@you_actually_read_these_702 nice :D

[@jimhutcho1083]

@@dannyboi_exe wholesome

[@abluehappyface748]

420 likes loooool

[@dannyboi_exe]

@• Jensou • haha yeah :)

[@topanteon]

Weirdest story I've heard from a friend who's a nurse is how they once had a guy come into the ER with maggots on his leg, eating his open wound. I just can't imagine what the hell goes through someone's head that they decide to come to the ER only after maggots appear.

[@wildlightarts]

probably had hospital trauma, or maybe a lack of good insurance, or money.

[@error_unknown_user5392]

Went to watch ur video, an ad appeared with u talking in it Me: is this the video?

[@selfpropelledantiaircraft5633]

*put a video in ads in doctor mike video*

[@r5a8748]

Same

[@crappad372]

I changed the likes from 1k to 1.1k

[@kookiekatz1949]

@@selfpropelledantiaircraft5633 that would be an ad I wouldn't skip

[@soggytoast7290]

I got an ad saying not to exercise😑

[@hexerin]

6:40 - Personal story. When I was young, I had to get my wisdom teeth removed. Had two of those bite-size chocolate peanut butter cups before bed (the ones individually wrapped in foil you normally put in the Halloween candy bowl). Father took me to the appointment the next day, and naturally I lied about having eaten anything before they put me under with full sedation. Afterwards, I learned about how I had nearly died due to vomiting and convulsions while sedated. Moral of the story: Take it seriously when a doctor tells you that you could die from a thing.

[@mcplumpkin6191]

Reeces? Dang.

[@LehhGatinha716]

Why would they put your completely under just for removing the teeth? Local anesthetics aren’t better for that?

[@lovelydolltime8006]

If I ever have to have my wisdom teeth removed, hopefully they can do local anaesthesia. I'm deeply afraid of sedation.

[@Laz3rCat95]

@@LehhGatinha716 Sometimes patients can choose to be sedated for the procedure.

[@meme-gn3nc]

Woah luckily nothing happened to u!

[@Phoenix_flame]

I don't normally judge people based on one action, but... WHAT KIND OF CRAZY LADY GIVES HER CHILD ANT POISON?!?!

[@darna1869]

I wonder how old the child is, maybe she was trying to poison him and using ignorance as a cover?

[@annasavka6399]

A stupid one 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@37thraven]

Lady: "It looks like sugar" Common sense: "It's poison" Lady: "It's ant poison, so it poisons ants" Common sense: "Lady, I said it's poison!" Lady: "But he eated the ants, and they're in his belly. And ants are bad!" Govt: **Revokes parenting 'license' **

[@PanthereaLeonis]

"There once was a woman who swallowed a fly", that song touches upon this nicely. She can't have a fly in her, so she decides to eat a spider to kill it, all the way until she somehow eats a cow, and horse, but then she's dead of course.

[@hauntedshadowslegacy2826]

@@PanthereaLeonis Mummy dearest clearly hadn't heard of that little ol' story. Such a shame...

[@slayert0ny744]

I have a lot of nursing family and my mum was a nurse when she was still with us. The most valuable advice I ever received was: it does not matter why you need medical assistance, tell them the truth. They will not judge, they will not report, they will help.

[@nekilof-2363]

This is why House said: "Everybody lies..."

[@msjulie3613]

House is a beast

[@DarkeCrimson]

we say that in I.T. too. Users always lie.

[@soulife8383]

It's because House was lying to himself, Freudianly seeing it in others... Sh*t was deep

[@hannyhou9730]

Cue Dr Mike: it's about time for House 4!! 🎬

[@myhipsbleed4218]

House... ♥️♥️♥️

[@AmazonianBarbarian]

Funny ear story. I put a googly eye in my ear when I was seven years old. When I told my parents they accused me of making it up for attention when I said I could still hear it but I couldn't get it out. Fast forward fourteen years and I asked my doctor if we could figure out what the jiggling in my ear really was and there it was! The googly eye! Don't put things in your ears.

[@krab5111]

ChrisStohl that story was wild start to finish 😂💖love it

[@pierreodendaal6519]

Did the same thing. A tiny piece of cardboard.

[@roserain7034]

@@krab5111 How does hearing feel these days? Different?

[@bluon259]

Same but I put in pieces of confetti and plastic

[@renatoramos8834]

You need new parents.

[@rachelrachel4922]

It's so cute that a sped up version of peewoop is used to censor swearing

[@christinahorst6221]

I know. I want it as a text tone lol

[@malibuXoXobabe]

I thought it was be(e)woop

[@Marco-kq4sy]

Rachel Rachel omg not even 2 seconds after I read this comment I come upon that exact sound effect

[@dianethoroughman9541]

@@malibuXoXobabe it is beewhoop

[@DoctorMike]

Rachel Rachel I worry the traditional bleep triggers the demonitization process lol

[@robinmuchow]

Kids can reach ANYTHING if they want it badly enough. My niece was getting out of her crib at seven months. She was less than a year old when my sister found her on top of a full size frig, eating potato chips. She pushed a chair to the counter, from counter to top of microwave, to top of the frig.

[@slideshowgurl]

Veterinary technician here. I have many hilarious owner/pet stories. One of my favorites is this woman who was CONVINCED her dog got her cat pregnant. We told her that wasn't possible. She wouldn't give up. She then brought the kittens in a few months later to show us "proof" they were her dog's babies, her "proof" was that one of them happened to be the same shade of brown as her dog. Another one, this guy shows up thinking his dog has tumors on his abdomen. The doctor comes in, takes a look and goes "those are nipples" the guy goes "but he's a boy!" And the vet was like "... don't you have nipples?" 😂 Last one, this woman brought her dog in, we tell her the dog is pregnant, she says it's impossible since her dog is not around any other males. Vet looks at the chart, sees the owner has another, intact (un-neutered) male dog at home "What about your other dog?" And she looks horrified and gasps "THAT'S HER BROTHER!" 🤦‍♀️

[@keturah113]

Stupid human related vet stories are the best! 😂

[@Nakai865]

The last story..... *S W E E T H O M E A L A B A M A*

[@edith1315]

😂😂😂

[@ABerenice]

Well... not that I don't understand how this can happen... but I'm shocked too by the doggy that got his sister preggo! I didn't know doggies did their own siblings...

[@Fen_Fox]

@@ABerenice I mean I'm not sure but like I know some pet owners call their pets siblings but they're not actually from the same litter. Like my friends has two cats that try to have sex sometimes(they're neutered and spayed though) and he always yelling for the male cat to stop trying to have sex with his sister

[@majacacao]

The story about the vet and the overweight dpgs reminded me of this story😂 Our dog kept getting fatter and fatter and we couldn't find out why. We only fed her what the vet told us to feet her and she didnt even always eat all of it. Then some time later my step-dad had a accident with his elbow. Our dog stayed with my step-dad instead of wandering around like usual, because dogs a loyal like that. And then we got a call from our neighbors, who where elderly and loved our dog that often came to visit them. They asked how it was going with my step-dad and so on. And then they got a little quiet, "soo how are *our dogs name*? Is she okay? Cause she never visit and we have gotten her the specific brand of sausages she likes". So in reality we were giving her the right amount of food but she just went to the neighbors to get what she really wanted to eat. 😂😂

[@majacacao]

Sorry if the spelling is bad, English isnt my first language 😋

[@gabrielamarie5058]

That’s so cute and funny 😂

[@UpRoaryus]

our cat was extremely popular wherever we lived, he just had one of those outgoing personalities and was both fearless and friendly enough to just walk in to any open door like he owned the place. We moved a few times during his life, and sometimes would run into neighbors from previous residences. People always asked how he was doing, mentioning how he used to come by and have snacks at their house in the afternoons. He seemed to have at least one additional meal source at every different place we'd lived! Must've had an amazing metabolism, because he was never even a little bit overweight, and ate well enough with us plus whatever mice he happened to catch too. He was an excellent hunter and would often present me with tokens of affection as entire trophies, whole and not even bloodied. I miss that cat. He was the best way to get invited to all the parties in the neighborhood.

[@shawnsisler3743]

This!!! Our Beauty is a chocolate lab and she travels to our neighbor's house, (about 1/8 mile down the road, we live in the country), a couple of times a week or more. Well at her last vet's appointment she was a tad chunky, just a tad. Seems he has been spoiling her too...lol

[@yacabe]

My cat is also a house cheater. He was so fat and I was feeding him a little bit. Then our elderly neighbor died....and our cat lost a ton of weight. I mean, his belly was sagging on the grass...that's how fat he was. After a few year most of the saggy skin was gone. But I'm guessing our neighbor fed him.

[@on_jakku4174]

The Mom giving her kid the ant poison reminds me of the story of the lady who swallowed a fly and then swallowed a spider to kill the fly and on and on just eating so many things to kill the other things.

[@MadCheshireHat]

Haha, yes! Such a strange children's story.

[@kostarak3160]

I did not knew negative iq existed

[@alienmae1231]

for real ingesting a whole ass food chain 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@unhappylife94]

Isn't that a children's story. What was it called again

[@mellperle4934]

In one doctor house episode a kid put a small toy cat in his nose. It got stuck and the kid put a toy firefighter car afterwards and a police car. Doctor House said, that the kid was pretty smart XD

[@stefaniew777]

One of my favorite statements from a chart was "Patient has been eating a lot of candy secondary to Halloween". Just so specific and stoic. Struck me in the LOLs.

[@Torbian_Linz]

"Insects have good proteins... but spiders..." - Let me finish that thought for you "... aren't insects!"

[@hipeople9856]

Arachnids!

[@esthermigo3009]

exactly what i thought !

[@mangaanimefan3089]

You could technically still eat spiders but...they need to be dead. And hopefully cooked. I don't know if I could eat spiders, not unless I was starving.

[@solus8685]

Exactly

[@dusan-renat]

They probably still have good proteins though. :-)

[@creamtherabbit77]

I'd love to see you react to the first episode of Jane the Virgin. The medical malpractice in that episode is painful.

[@shewhotalksalot]

Omg I would love that

[@izzymarieeee]

That’s exactly what I was thinking

[@CaffeinatedCoffee15]

Well she did lose her license 😂

[@yogurtnsprinklez]

For real medical malpractice, he should react to the Dr. Death podcast

[@karatepop]

Any video on what malpractice actually is. People think you have to kill someone or maim them. You don't. Like, say you're complaining at the ER of chest pain and they go "sounds like anxiety!" to the most relaxed person of all time, and send you home. No tests, no questions. Same day, more pain, you go to a clinic and they ask about your father and uncle's heart attacks. They run tests. They find something the hospital could have found and diagnosed earlier. Ta-da! Malpractice.

[@abcdefoff3307]

Doctor Mike : "Don't be embarassed. Doctors are humans too. We do weird stuff *all* the time..." Also Doctor Mike : "I mean not me. Other... Doctors..." Hhhmmmmm... Got it.

[@artemisarrow3607]

Just as I started reading this he started to actually say it

[@xexpaguette]

*bee woop intensifies*

[@claudeherac]

Me: 8:01

[@CDMaccles]

HOW MANY TOOTHPICKS ARE IN THERE DR MIKE?!

[@gemmaw564]

@@artemisarrow3607 sameeee

[@aliceg5327]

My brother was an ER doctor for several years before moving to Trauma. He had formulated a reply to a very common shame/declaration of people coming into the ER: "There are no intelligent accidents. (We're a stupid species.) There's no need to be embarrassed, just tell me." his delivery seemed to have been on point because he said it usually relaxed/reassured people.

[@silverkyoto4431]

Dr. Mike: *innocently teaches about not putting things in your ears* Also Dr.mike: "Mm feels so good tickle tickle tickle~"

[@Zenoks]

Yeah i used to do that too, it felt soo good until i got ear infection.

[@Karthik-kt24]

@@Zenoks 😶

[@ambermargheim5726]

Honestly I never learned about the q tip thing and I'm glad I know now. Also 2:42 boy talk about sticking to.your story

[@Luna_Spiritus]

*a wild innuendo has appeared* Go Inconspicuously named first gen water type starter Pokémon!

[@maryannebrown2385]

I know they say not to use cotton swabs in the inner ear, but it gets all wet when I shower! I don’t go poking around-just gently clean out the water. I really don’t understand why that is an issue.

[@idontexist506]

Kid: eats ants Mom: gives kid ant poison to kill the already dead ants *YEAH, THIS IS BIG BRAIN TIME*

[@anonymousobrian1155]

XD

[@beetlejellies]

THE ANTS AREN’T JUST GONNA EAT THE POISON, KAREN! THEY ARE DEAD! YOU JUST POISONED YOUR CHILD, KAREN!

[@NaraOfCambodia]

@Stephen Coleman I mean.... those are food here lol Just that I'm not fond of them orz

[@cailin2325]

That should’ve been a CPS call

[@IndianCuber]

100th like!!!

[@funkee5675]

“Omg, you’re so diabetic” This sounds like a weird insult from Mean Girls

[@SweetAeromotion]

n a r i 😂😂

[@Eriey3]

So you agree, you think you’re really diabetic 😂😂 I can hear Regina saying it

[@SweetAeromotion]

Kevin Prima that’s not actually true tho. I’ve met more skinny people w that issue than fat people with it. Even if I hadn’t, It doesn’t work like that ya mong

[@brianaguilar8283]

Kevin Prima it’s also genetic

[@LykaiosThePanther]

@Kevin Prima Don't call him dumbass, you asshole. I am diabete type 1 and I am not overweight. I weight 175 and my height is 5.9 and it's normal weight. I dont get diabete from eat too much. Diabete type 1 is mysterious and is not cause by overweight. Diabete type 2 is cause by overweight or you eat too much foods. Too many foods...

[@nochnkorn20]

Conversations with paramedics and doctors of ER are the best. A friend of mine is a Paramedic here in Germany and the storys evolving around rectal insertion are my favorites!

[@AngieLynch03]

That last story reminds me of one of my favorite lines from Scrubs: [looking at an x-ray] Dr. Cox: “Either this guy has a light bulb up his butt or his colon had a great idea.”

[@Leonhart_93]

😂🤣

[@Xyb3rAnims]

I heard that line for the first time, it was a really good idea

[@keketski5430]

Ha

[@MJsGuardAngel]

I’m currently watching Scrubs, started season 6 and LMFAO they’re so fuqing stupid I love them. That line was EVERYTHING

[@CynthiasTikka]

That is awesome!

[@Deathmageddon]

KZbin won’t let a practicing doctor say “rectum?” Dark days...

[@imtoooldforthisstuff]

Rectum? I'll say, wrecked him really good too.

[@TortoiseStew]

Rectum? I hardly know 'em.

[@Karthik-kt24]

Whose rectum by the way?? I'm so funny lol

[@earthandfire4840]

he said it twice in a later thing..

[@elainedesousa7307]

This was literally my thought

[@ivastojko4843]

Me: *cleaning my ear* Mike: You should not put it in your ear Me: *slowly pulls out q-tip* Edit: Thanks for all the likes OMG 1.5K 🙌

[@veronejaquel5106]

Same 😂

[@thexenosaiyan]

FML, damn it

[@Snp2024]

Slooowly..

[@howtomedicate]

Haha 😅👍

[@SkullQW]

@@Snp2024 sensually...

[@naisaShip]

I am a very shy person, but for some reason I'm not embarrassed to be completely honest and real with doctors. I just trust them.

[@rob_i208]

"Chocolate is poisonous to dogs." "but Fido loves chocolate." I guess these people eat paint chips.

[@GoldieDoggy]

YES! i got into an argument with a dude who fed his poor dog a bunch of reese's pb cups DAILY, and they said the dog loved it therefore it was fine. HOW DUMB DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO NOT EVEN CARE ABOUT YOUR DOG'S WELLBEING???

[@sophierobinson2738]

My daughter's greyhound managed to grab and eat a family size bag of kisses. Bag, foil, and all. No ill effects, but interesting poop for a while.

[@Matty80822]

but only the good tasting paint chips

[@ryanclemons1]

Better Chocolate then death raisins I gave my dog a raisin cookie as a kid to this day I wish someone would have told me dogs cant have them.

[@tiktokexposed898]

@@ryanclemons1 did it die?

[@meanieweenie6440]

dr mike: we do weird stuff all the time, i mean not me also dr mike: laughs when he says butt hole

[@michaeloffner8515]

also dr. mike: *has a dishwasher full of nuts*

[@manavkalyani4707]

@@michaeloffner8515 in which video

[@lalaithan]

​@@manavkalyani4707 one of 'em a while back and then he talks about it & shows it again in his video "Controversy Around My Recent Videos" at 11:08.

[@mistyfish2520]

"Your doctors are humans. We do some weird stuff too. I mean not me.." Okay Dr.Mike, if you say so 😂

[@jamesfan2]

I believe him, after all, everyone says that

[@CrazyDutchguys]

Also dr Mike: fights a plant

[@TamyXx]

Yeah, says the guys who has nuts in his dishwasher

[@minetruly]

Someday I'm gonna fall off a ladder onto a light bulb and get it lodged in there and I'll say to myself, "No doctor will ever believe me."

[@jesterlmt]

In Turkish we have a saying: “Tıpta ayıp olmaz” It basically means there’s no perversion or anything to be ashamed of when you’re undergoing medical practice. That is why we tend to tell the truth if there is a strange situation.

[@notsurewhattoputhereyet7052]

we need something like that in the US

[@oiseau_libre]

Turkish saying: 3 words. English equivalent: 5 lines. Who wins the eloquence competition?..

[@CarReis28]

Ayyyy bende turk

[@mr.pringle2582]

What's the direct translation?

[@noraenora6735]

@@mr.pringle2582 "No shame in medicine."

[@fjordivae3007]

Friend of mine told me that this thing called an ER are in my cells so I kept wondering if cells had a tiny emergency room within them which sounded weird, until I realized that they were talking about the endoplasmic reticulum

[@drarryarmy3177]

When I read the first 2 rows I thought the same thing XD *Great minds think alike* ;)

[@n00bKen]

I actually thought you made several typos until I finished the rest of the comment 😂

[@falconbaybeach389]

I went to pick up my medication with my husband and got a gray, really dull bottle of pills My husband: ”Ugh! That looks horrible! Like I do not want what’s in that. Couldn’t they make it like a little bit inviting?” Pharmacist: ”It is made like this so children won’t want it.” Husband: ”Oh... Well it’s perfect then.” I had problem paying after that because I was laughing. Just thought about it when you spoke of the candylooking pills :p

[@JennyAnimations]

Oh man this is hillarious!

[@hazeltree7738]

Your husband didn't want pills because they didn't look inviting?... They're not meant to look nice, they're meant to help you :P

[@eph2vv89only1way]

When I was a kid you could buy play doctor kits that had candy in a pill bottle. My mom thought it was ridiculous when they stopped putting candy in them because kids were eating real pills expecting them to taste like candy

[@eph2vv89only1way]

Mia Smith I think that would depend on your age and gullibility. Also, you knew for certain they were candy because you put them there. With these toys the factory put them there so I can see a kid thinking they were pills

[@eph2vv89only1way]

Mia Smith Remember, I said it was when I was a kid. Everyone bought them back then. It wasn’t until the early 70s that they didn’t

[@Bronwinws]

Your channel has improved my general health in so many ways. I don't like taking pills because I'm sensitive to medication. Watching your podcasts I now have a dialog to work with my family doctor on holistic treatment when possible. Just 'cause it's natural doesn't mean it's healthy, or is the best treatment. 🙂

[@patmaurer8541]

I prefer holistic methods, too. When I hear or read about something I think may be useful, I Google "scholarly articles on _____" and make sure a study was statistically valid, not cherry-picked for a splashy chat show item. 😉 Then, I discuss with my excellent Primary doc, and we weigh risks and benefits together. 😊

[@justthatgirl-ct4jo]

"Don't be embarrassed. We hear this stuff all the time!" Although, your story may end up on Reddit and further viewed and laughed at by millions on KZbin.

[@justthatgirl-ct4jo]

@Atticus Bragdon I know, but my point was that it's hard to feel comfortable with your doctor when their is a good chance he's laughing at you behind your back.

[@Abby_Goth]

@@justthatgirl-ct4jo Well, most of the time doctors share the ridiculous lies their patients tell them. I rarely find doctors sharing those stories and laughing behind patients backs, when they were honest about their situation. ... Unless you feed your child ant poison to wash down ants. But in that case being made fun of is the last thing you should be worrying about.

[@Ak_ash]

Yeah unless you lie. All the stories were about the ridiculous lies the patients told. Not of Those who were being honest ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@patriciapatricia352]

Doctor mike: tickle, tickle tickle, that is no Bueno Duolingo: FINALLY A MAN WORTHY OF MY PRESENCE

[@idalarsen2540]

A well intentioned laugh is okay. This is fine. I used to find doctors awful, but after watching several YT-docs, I tried finding a new doctor. Me and my new doc can laugh at even the most horrible things, without me feeling "mocked" at all. I often laugh at myself, and think it humanizes my doc when he's able to laugh and joke around a bit as well. I'm finally fairly comfortable with doctors again, thankfully.

[@lucasbrunoz]

I wonder how many "gone wrong" procedures are the patient's fault. It must be so frustrating being a doctor.

[@Arlothed1no]

My brother drank vodka before a procedure, showed up drunk, and got pissed that they wouldn't do the surgery for another twelve hours.

[@lemax6865]

Most of them. Speaking from experience.

[@erin8969]

When I was eight or so, I went to shower and my dad told me, “make sure to wash your ears!” I was a smart kid. Ears are deep, so for the next week or so I washed my ears by pouring body wash into my ear. A lot of body wash. My ear starts hurting so I asked my dad and he looked in my ear and it was full of pus, but we were in a different state so I had to go to the hospital so that a nurse could get all the soap and pus out. Only in the car did I tell him WHY it was full of pus. My parents were horrified. At least it wasn’t cotton though.

[@lhunn4448]

I feel so bad but this story took me out 😂😂😂

[@23pounce]

​@@lhunn4448 Was the part that made you laugh the sentence, "I was a SMART kid."? She knew ears were deep, so she put soap in them? That's like, the opposite of smart. That's the part that that cracked me, and then my SIX-year-old interrupted, without the rest of the story, and said, "that is NOT a smart kid. And she even knew her ears were deep but she did that? What the what?" That cracked me up a second time.(He says "what the what" all the time. He loves how it sounds.) Again, he is SIX. I don't mean to make fun of her, but, it was a pretty funny addition to the story. I would have left that part out.

[@EsmayLiebke]

2:32 usually, hand cuffs used in roleplay have a security unlocking mechanism for emergencies, when the key may not be readily available (source: I work customer service for a sex shop). So either they were broken, or the mum has a lot more to hide...

[@Agoraphobication]

There should be some kind of intelligence/common sense test you have to take before you can have kids.

[@autohmae]

Actually, it's the other way around... better educated people think before having sex/kids.

[@schattentaenzerin]

This would probably solve the problem of overpopulation.

[@Schradermusic]

@@autohmaeDude, your comment makes no sense at all.

[@autohmae]

@@Schradermusic What I mean is: better educated people automatically have less kids. So you'd not need any test.

[@laurene988]

Probably not ethical, kinda like eugenics

[@30noir]

My mother was a urologist. I wish I could forget the list of items she had told me patients had inserted in to their urethras. Like NOTHING should be put in there - at all... and certainly not a set of walkman headphones.

[@christinepayfer2993]

I work in healthcare. I have not seen stuff being shoved up rectums yet, (thank goodness) but I have heard stories from coworkers. It's.... disturbing.

[@comradewindowsill4253]

what? how??

[@Anarchist_Angel]

*a set*

[@hirumaiya]

A Set??

[@Anarchist_Angel]

@@hirumaiya Meaning they inserted both :I

[@jaybird7383]

I went to hospital because I was was bit by my pet guinea pig. My finger swelled up and I couldn't bend it. The doctor told me he'd seen much worse. I asked what could be worst? He answered someone was bit by a seagull. Couldn't stop laughing afterward

[@danbollen8065]

Hi DoctorMike, I really enjoy your youtube videos and watch them quite often. Just one thing you need to clarify. When you were speaking about the advanced directive and/or living will and will you stated that people should mention there end of life instructions. You stated that they should put them in their will and living will. While the living will is correct, it is not a good idea to put end of life instructions in your last will and testament. Things left in a will, such as organ donation would not be seen until the patient is deceased, which would be too late. The reason is that wills are not often read until a week or so after the person dies, so to put these instructions in a will regarding end of life directives would most likely not be seen until after, which would be too late because the person would have already passed on before the will is looked at. And not everyone is aware of what someone has stated in their will. However, it is a great idea to put it in their living will because most likely it will be checked at the time of the onset of a hospital stay. Thank you DoctorMike. for all that you do. It's funny because I do not look at Medical shows quite the same way. I tend to yell at the TV (and tell them "your doing it wrong. lol You are very entertaining and informative and I really appreciate your expertise. Keep up the great work. Peace Dan Bollen

[@skelepuns8781]

"Doctors are humans too, we do weird stuff all the time... not me" "I'M NO HUMAN"

[@lemurlover7975]

I knew it, he's an alien LOL

[@angelototo9580]

@@lemurlover7975 *AREA 51 ALARM!!!!!!*

[@felixthecat580]

Hey, Dr. Mike, as a recovering addict I have a video request. You always say how important it is to be honest with doctors especially with drug use, but as I and many other addicts have experienced the second your honest you are treated like trash, a moral failure or just a criminal in general. Me and many other addicts I know have avoided going to the hospital for SEVERE abscesses that could have been life threatening but chose not to go in for fear of retaliation from the Doctors and half the time even the nurses. Even though I've been clean for two years I still sometimes experience this. I've even been told by a doctor, (which a police officer concurred with), that the fact that I had survived my overdose had made their jobs harder. That's just the tip of the iceberg. I and many other addicts would appreciate a video talking about these issues. Would appreciate if this gets bumped up, I know Covid has everyone's attention but the opiate epidemic hasn't stopped.

[@skyricharde6629]

Bump. I'd also like to see a doctor address things that someone with addiction can say if they are being treated unkindly for their condition. Or ways to safely report people for needing sensitivity training.

[@breannastrickland2393]

Well said 💝💝

[@toasty_bun4193]

Man, that's messed up. Good luck with your answer though

[@tiggercampbell6198]

I went for emergency gall bladder surgery in the 90s and they knew I was a drug addict..before I was put under the anesthesiologist said..this is a waste of time..so I know what i you went through but I started educating the doctors..i was a proud drug addict..isn't that crazy?

[@moonl1314]

they don't understand who the true victim is

[@WOOFDAYOOF]

Both my parents smoke tobacco, and whenever I’m at the doctors with them and the doctor says “does anyone smoke near you?” My parents say no and I look at them in confusion

[@gabrielleisalanastan]

I smoke sometimes (not addicted or anything, and I quit completely around 3 months ago) and I went to the doctor and she asked if I've ever smoked, and my mom was immediately like "no. She hates smoke." And I was sitting there like 👁👄👁 (also I'm 14, abt to be 15)

[@WOOFDAYOOF]

@@gabrielleisalanastanThat’s highkey messed up. Maybe ask your mom why she does that?

[@gabrielleisalanastan]

@@WOOFDAYOOF she started smoking and doing drugs when she was 13, so shes become more overbearing and trying to make sure I dont do that, so I guess her telling my doctor I dont smoke was her way of being like "you better not ever smoke😡"

[@WOOFDAYOOF]

@@gabrielleisalanastan Oh ok! Well anyway, congratulations on quitting smoking.

[@lightforce4604]

@@gabrielleisalanastan You better not ever do drugs too! 😡

[@sarahsays2997]

I can’t imagine being dishonest with my doctor. Giving you accurate information no matter how embarrassing is the way that I get an accurate diagnosis

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

The more details the doc has, the more precise the diagnosis and treatment can be.

[@kaydenroark4975]

So you mean to tell me.... that there are people with the story: “One TiMe dOctOR MIkE puT sCoTCh TaPE oN My bUTtHolE” I can’t breathe

[@nightfury4805]

😂😂😂 SEALED IT!

[@sarah_b_555]

He'd probably make a nurse do it

[@confused_shark2537]

just that one person: oH cOoL hE pUt fLeX tApE oN mInE

[@abby_deavel7203]

@@confused_shark2537 hahaahahhaah

[@izzyrox8]

Omg lol

[@everythingturkish1249]

Is it even possible to have a tampon stuck for 7 years...wouldn’t she get like TSS or something?

[@heidibullock1853]

That's what I was curious about too lol

[@Ashley-dt7tv]

She menopaused 7 yrs ago so they were confused why she would keep using tampons now

[@xstrangew0rld]

@@Ashley-dt7tv no that's not it. What the comments above said is the joke. Not what you think

[@amazing_bastard]

@@Ashley-dt7tv she said she had it stuck in there since her last period, which was 7 years ago

[@laner.845]

TSS sets in within a few days, not years. I don't believe the 7yr tampon story for a second, and neither did Dr. Mike by the look on his face.

[@Thenoobestgirl]

Woman's 7 year old tampon story: **exists** Dr. Mike: *ConfusedTravolta.gif*

[@smievil]

i assumed she just kept using them after the menopause...

[@justanotherweirdo11]

@@Acco-yx4ni That's what I'm wondering about. They warn us not to put in for more than a few hours. She had it in for 7 whole years wtf?

[@justafish_art498]

Acco 4321 yeaaaa

[@SukiHayashiGaming]

one would assume she also hasnt had sex those 7 years

[@s.a.8548]

@@SukiHayashiGaming More like the reason she couldn't take the tampon out was BECAUSE she was having sex for those 7 years lol

[@ellezurek7853]

“Always dump all the information they need onto your lawyer and doctor, but never your mother” - my older cousin XD

[@theshadowherself]

"Be honest with your doctor." When I was 16, I went to the doctor and told them I had a lump on my cervix. The intake nurse refused to go any further with the intake until I explained to her how I knew there was a lump, and apparently "you know that you can touch your cervix if you try, right?" was not a good enough answer. I had to basically yell at her, "Fingering yourself is a thing!" before she let me talk to the doctor. Sometimes I despair of being honest because medical professionals assume I am a moron who doesn't know A&P well enough to name a body part properly. I just say it once then let them believe what they want now...

[@willch.2259]

"I got a lump" "Yeah but how do you know lol" basically

[@atharvameher5880]

i mean you were 16...a 16 year old knows fin***** nurse assumed you were like 13 or she was just ignorant

[@SpookiCooki]

I'm just amazed you could reach it. My cervix is way too far up.

[@Brendawallingbear]

That nurse was out of line.

[@sarahfisher1876]

I’m just extremely curious what was the outcome of that exam. Nabothian cyst?

[@kuro.hitsuji]

Reddit stories are wild; no wonder people are obsessed with that place 😂

[@pedropenduko3056]

I've read a lot of different stories there. Most you can believe happened, some maybe made up. Really funny stuff.

[@HeavyMetalKittenx]

Hajira S. You have no idea. Reddit is awesome 😂

[@jessicahale8088]

2:30 okay but like... Shouldn't she have had a key for those handcuffs?

[@kenna176]

Jessica Hale That would force her to admit they were hers. 😂

[@jessicahale8088]

@@kenna176 No, I mean... At home, she could have just unlocked them and move on. The kid wouldn't have known what the hell was going on and that way he also wouldn't have to explain to any nurse or doctor what his mom had in the bedroom.

[@MusicalLoveAMV]

Maybe she lost the key during her "ehm" 'activites'. She's just lucky the one in the cuffs was too innocent to know what it had been used for.

[@jessicahale8088]

@@MusicalLoveAMV Yeah, for now. Can you imagine the trauma the poor kid will go through when he finds out what they are for and that his MOM is into that stuff?

[@MusicalLoveAMV]

@@jessicahale8088 i can only imagine what he'd think, especially since HE was the one who had to get stuck in them, and who knows what those fluffy cuffs had been through

[@ajrfan6035]

9:40 YA! And I also watched a video where “tie pod Chan” explained the ingredients of tie pods and what they do to you, one of those things are your stomach burning and puke (mostly caused by the stomach burn).