Does ADHD / ADD cause or influence Pure O (OCD scary ruminations) if repressed in childhood?

[@Budweiser8Jr]

This is what I have been searching for my entire life. Amazing.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Good for you! You might like this, too. kzbin.info/www/bejne/fafYm3ecpd6ng8k Best wishes - John

[@Budweiser8Jr]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess Thanks, I plan on watching your series on OCD and ADHD, as I am an INFJ as well. Much appreciated sir.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

INFJ - one of the special ones 🙂

[@Budweiser8Jr]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess its a double edged sword, for sure.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/oYTNe3qupMuGZqs

[@snowwolf4148]

You have no idea what kinda impact these videos have on people that are facing such issues. Thanks a million

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

I know it helps, I wish I could reach more people :-)

[@SharonCrummpton]

I had no idea.i have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ptsd, and emotional personality disorder. But this pretty much describes me to a tee.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

@@SharonCrummpton Yes, it is about reconnecting with who you feel you are not who you think you are, be yourself, but realise you are different (in a good way) from the other 80% of sheeple :-)

[@aishiaskye]

This made me cry and changed my entire perspective on existence. Thank you isn’t a good enough thing to say.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Good for you! I have a whole course on helping to understand/change yourself here www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialist

[@ranc1977]

Complex Anxiety - This is the first time I hear of this term and I love it!!! Genius! Yes, PureOCD comes from repressed anger. PureOCD is also worry about other people's anger and their hate. Most common at toxic job or in dysfunctional family or living in shame culture country where people are constantly expressing their negative and intruding opinion about some person, ad hominems, other person real or imagined flaws mistakes and errors.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

It's my experience that people with Pure O are very clever, creative, extroverted and artisan - they are just not living (or seeing themselves) in this way. They must stop comparing themselves to others, stop trying to fit in - and find their own unique path. My course tries to teach people how to do this.

[@ranc1977]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess Amazing work! This is similar to IFS Model and Coherence Therapy. IFS model speaks about our suppressed parts which are unable to perform their specialty - their expertise - and then other parts take over to do the job done - without doing it correctly since these other parts are not equipped to do it. For example, If I have social anxiety - this is not because of lack of skills as CBT explains it. While in reality - social anxiety is byproduct of suppressed anger. Where our other parts take over the role of anger with catastrophic results: not being able to socialize. Without anger I will allow my compassion to socialize the most, and this will end up as fawning and people pleasing and being easily exploited by toxic people such as narcissists and psychopaths (Mate Crime)-

[@EmmaXO-lb9sf]

I have ocd, adhd and depression. Several therapists have said it sounds like ocd developed as a result of my adhd being repressed as a kid. Maybe I was more susceptible? Idk. I’m medicated for both though now and have gone through years of therapy. ADHD feels like who I am, like I need to manage it rather than it ever going away, whereas my ocd I feel like I work hard to keep it in “remission” sort of. Idk if that makes sense! But this is sooo interesting.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

It makes sense. The meds usually exhaust the ADHD person as they have a very sensitive nature to drugs and alcohol. They work for a few days, then wipe them out emotionally. Yes, just embrace your ADHD, live in the now and focus on that which interests you.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

I think this group also have bi-polar depression. I have a theory about this and will make a short video about it soon.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

You might like this video too kzbin.info/www/bejne/jp25ia2Xm5lpoMk

[@Darkinforcer1]

How to fix this when you have both. I just started pure ocd treatment. But I agree with this video completely because for a long time I believed I have add

[@EmmaXO-lb9sf]

@@Darkinforcer1 It’s a tough combo for sure! My ocd seems to be directly tied to trauma and also lack of acceptance for my adhd, also a trauma of its own. I recognize all my obsessions and compulsions as ways my brain tries to protect itself. I have a mix of pure o and outward compulsions, but mostly mental compulsions. I hope therapy goes well. Are you doing erp if you don’t mind me asking? I did that and it helped me quite a bit. It was a little harder with the mental compulsions but worked especially well with my checking locks and the stove and tapping things, and also my fear of hitting animals or hitting accidentally in the car and having to drive back around. Idk I think all ocd is internal either way, just some compulsions show and some don’t. But yeah. Therapy is great. I do also take medication, personally, Prozac for my ocd and depression and Vyvanse for my adhd. I did not take stimulants in childhood though, and I feel very torn about it. The Vyvanse gives me motivation and focus and I’m less anxious with managing so many tasks. It really does help. The Prozac keeps my thoughts less sticky and my mood therefore is better. I see meds as simply a tool though- there is so much more to mental health care in my opinion. And I choose Vyvanse overall adderall, what my doctors initially put me on, because adderall changed my personality. I felt zombie like and not my quirky self. Wasn’t worth the focus! The Vyvanse I still feel like myself and no crashes either. It feels very natural, kicks in slow and leaves my system slow. To me it’s the better stimulant for sure, at least for me.

[@Laura-vl6db]

Ooh. I love this! My curious brain is like “I figured! I just need to know who I am.”

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Better to ask yourself, "Who you wish to be!" :-)

[@Doxygurl]

Thank you so much. This video described my life in perfect detail. By the time I was a teen everyone said I was blank faced and uptight, which I have been since then except for major emotional breakdowns. People only saw me functioning because I put all my work into if for their sake. But inside my mind was absolute torture with racing upsetting thoughts that made me feel disgusting and scared. Pretty much like you said, I obsessively feared that I would somehow do the things I feared and hated the most. And it made me not want to be around others, because somehow they would find out who I really am and hate me for it. It helped so much when I learned that these distressing thoughts are not who I am, but a symptom of my anxiety itself.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

You are very welcome - there is much you can learn about yourself here www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialist

[@rodf73]

Thank you for sharing this information.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

You are very welcome.

[@katmorgan28]

This is very helpful - Thankyou

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Glad it makes sense; it can be quite a revelation for some people.

[@goodoleboy2525]

This is spot on. Thank you for sharing.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Funny how once you see it - it makes sense, but living it is so invisible!

[@dannyurbinder5965]

I am 56 years old. You have just explained my entire life.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

It is very common and there is much you can do to accept ADHD and change Pure O!

[@mrskilljoy8022]

This is really interesting! . I only recently discovered Pure O OCD and I’m sure I have it. I was late diagnosed autistic, I possibly have the inattentive type of ADHD but I’ve never been tested. Do you think the link could extend to overall ND being suppressed/masked, not just ADHD in childhood?

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Yes, I do!

[@Bubby-yn9lv]

As someone who has struggled immensly with crippling pure o (many subtypes) and rocd for forever, and recently finally also been diagnosed with adhd (which makes a lot of sense- ofc besides the moments where my ocd gaslights me into thinking i do not have adhd😂) i cannot thank you enough for this insightful video which has just been mindblowing and VERY much fits what my therapist is trying to explain to me about my life and why i have this excitable adhd nature and at the same time these abhorent Obsessions as well as a harsh inner critic. I still think i need some time to get this into my head, how my pure o has arisen to keep my adhd nature at bay, and how this plays out for the different themes but i wanted to thank you for helping us out with your insightful video, this makes so much sense to me:) also, in case you know: do you have any tips for medication when it comed to the adhd and pure o combination?

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Personally, I would try to avoid any medication because a person with ADHD has super sensitive responses to alcohol, medication & recreational drugs (more than the average person) so any medication to try to stimulate the person - works for a day or two, then absolutely exhausts them and makes their anxiety worse. Beta blockers tend to cause a dependancy. Anti-psychotics make you a zombie and the jury is out whether SSRI's actually work or are simply a placebo! The secret is to understand how the OCD operates and then to disarm it through using clever psychology and biology reprogramming. For example, your OCD is an unconscious response - so the only way you can change that is by consciously tricking your unconscious into running new automatic programs. This means you will have to consciously see that logic and reason (of the conscious mind) are not what the unconscious mind uses. However, if you are taught how the unconscious mind operates you can see what you need to do to consciously reprogram it. Then learn new ways to accept your ADHD nature and not fear it - and learn new ways to see the world and interact with it. That is why I have spent 5 years making my OCD recovery course - so a person can learn what is happening to them and what they can do to change themselves. It is here www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialist - you might be really surprised how much you can do to change yourself. The course is only £10 a month to subscribe to as I wish for everybody to be able to access really professional help at a fair and affordable price as there is far too much anxiety in this world - and there is much you can do about it :-) Best wishes - John

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Bear in mind that though you will wish to help yourself, your ADHD will sabotage all efforts to actually take action - therefore you might need another person to 'make you' watch the videos and do the work - I talk about it here kzbin.info/www/bejne/m4ubgpSketyMgtU

[@BirksyChillz]

WTH it like you just told everyone my day to day life 😢😅

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

I know it's crazy that our medical world can't see these patterns www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialist

[@sheVEVO]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I LOVE YOU THANK YOU

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

You are very welcome!

[@richita.nikkol]

I'm ADHD, and on my way to build a lifestyle more aligned with my musical and creative nature. This is my second attempt. Two years ago I gave up because I couldn't handle the anxiety of my obsessive perfectionism and going at 1000mph to reach my goals. Now I'm doing things slower, daily remembering that patience and consistency is the key, telling to myself that I don't have to be perfect to start showing my habilities to the world (and to enjoy them and be proud of myself). However, now I'm facing very obsessive and crippling thoughts about money, existence and failure. That if I'm not good enough or quick enough I'll fail and I'll be poor and homeless and regreting of not having a normal life, that I'm almost 30 and I can't go too slow or I'll peak my career being too old, that life is meaningless and why it has to be so difficult and hurt too much (I've struggled with obsessive existential thinking since I was a teen), what if I'm becoming crazy because I can't handle life and adulthood and maybe I'm schizophrenic or bipolar, what if, what if... damn, it's being hard. But this video opened a path on how can I seek for help. A path to understand more of myself and what happened to that little happy, playful and extrovert child with a lot of spark and energy. To understand why I've dealt with obsessive toughts (and compulsion of looking for anwsers for every question I have about those obsessions) since I was a teenager. Every obsessive tought you mentioned in my video has been in my mind in different stages of my life. Thank you for sharing this knowledge.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

I think you need to separate the ADHD from the Pure OCD. ADHD is a brain configuration that needs your life adjusting to suit and the Pure OCD needs reprogramming out by understanding the brain and reprogramming it. My course teaches you how :-) www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialist

[@violet6839]

Thank you so much for the explanation!

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

You are very welcome.

[@arnavroy7925]

This video was so helpful. I randomly typed ocd & adhd as i always felt I've been experiencing more than one disorders, as the details of each matched my feelings. But my ocd brain always convinces me that i don't have any XD. I still remember the exact time when my evil mind took over (as i used to call it before), i used to be a different person before that traumatic incident. And I'm still caught in that loop, I'm unable to experience happiness as when i start feeling happy my mind immediately goes back to that time. I still try to figure out why exactly did that happen & until I don't I'm not able to live freely. No therapists or psychiatrists are able to help me resolve that yet. I always keep on playing different theories in my head & many seem to be the cause yet it can't be that many which takes me back to zero. The incident i refer here is my board exams, i used to be an excellent student back then who was a promising candidate for the boards.. but i wasn't able to hold my pen steadily due to panic attacks.. it was hard to understand bcuz i knew all the answers, i couldn't explain it to others or to myself. After that incident all my life has been going backwards, I'm too afraid to do the things i used to love.. I'm not living as my true self anymore, just borrowing traits from other people to blend in to survive.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

This is very common (sadly) - there is much you can do to help yourself - this is why I made my course, to teach people how to help themselves. Perhaps check it out; it really will help you :-) www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialist

[@pakrat87]

Ok thanks for making me cry. I’ve been struggling with severe GAD for about 6 months. Obsessive thoughts about my anxiety, intrusive, harmful etc…. It’s like the only subject on my mind is anxiety. I’ve also really started to look into if I have ADHD. I’m scoring significantly high, but a lot of those questions they ask are really similar to an anxiety test. Do you feel that helping treat the ADHD now can help with the Pure O? I feel like my anxiety is significantly better now, but I can’t stop obsessing about it. First thing on my mind in the morning, last thing on my mind at night. Sorry for the blurt!

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

ADHD is a brain configuration - not a thing to be cured! And the Pure OCD comes from the trauma of not living your true rebellious and creative nature.... My course explains it all www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialist - however, those with ADHD are unlikely to watch all the videos as their brains get too bored. However, if they do, much will reveal itself.

[@Ellie-br2kt]

You are great. Thank You for your Videos

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Thank you, you are great for watching them! www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialist

[@Sebastian-wr6xn]

Dear John, thank you! Last year I accidentally treated something, that now I understand is ADHD. With having access to my mind and meditating prior too, for the first time in over a decade, I could feel my emotions, and I could feel empathy, not just "know". I could finally intercept all these negative thoughts that I didn't know that I have. It took me a year, and since then losing everything to understand, that what I was describing as smokey constant stream of hell, and my rumination when I can understand it, is pure-o OCD. While I don't have a life around me that would support my true self, I also have alexithymia/anhedonia again (not sure which one is better descriptive, or if both). I've also learned that I have a more sensitive nervous system. Question is, should I get treatment for ADHD, and try meditation on stimulants to allow these thoughts to surface, or whats the recommendation. Also would be happy to listen if you know about anything regarding to alexithymia, and what do. Thank you!

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Well, from my experience of working with many people who have OCD, Pure OCD, ADHD, Depression and bipolar depression - I would say the following. I see ADHD as a brain configuration, not a disease. And Pure OCD is the symptom that comes from the exhaustion of having a creative mind but no external outlet for that creativity. The exhaustion that comes from worry and stress cause the numbness and when you back off from worrying your emotions return again - basically it is bipolar depression where you toggle between numb exhaustion and emotional expression expression. I don't like ADHD/bipolar people taking ADHD meds as they are basically amphetamines (speed) - and because ADHD people have very sensitive biology the speed works for about a week - then totally exhausts them and makes them worse. ADHD people can focus - just not on what doesn't interest them, they can play computer games for hours. My wife has ADHD her focus is easily distracted unless she is doing what she loves, she is late for everything (except what she cars deeply for) forgets things and fails to self motivate - even on things she wants to do. That is just the way her ADHD brain configuration is... No meds will change that - but luckily, she lives with me - I love her for who she is - and she loves herself for who she is - so it is not a problem. This video on bipolar depression (my story of it might help you a little) kzbin.info/www/bejne/fafYm3ecpd6ng8k My course teaches you how to stop exhausting yourself so the OCD backs off it is here www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialis;t though most people with ADHD have good intentions of taking it most don't! But would benefit deeply if they forced themselves to! What you call alexithymia is just your body swapping from numb exhuastion to emotional rechargedness and is the bipolar bit of your type of depression.

[@Sebastian-wr6xn]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess Thank you John for your reply! I do agree with a lot of what you say in your videos. I still have the muscle memory from that brief 6-8 months that I felt alive, energised, empathy, creativity, the energy fields and the not just the logical thinking brain. I'm going to venture out to say, source and sort of understanding or being more fine tuned on a quantum level. Not in a woo-woo magical way, but more as an innate ability to understand the language and interact with energy. To decode and navigate information. I remember this distinctive feeling of being able to use both sides of my brain as One, and I did feel like finally me. The exact same phenomena you descrbe in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/b6Svlaiso615iLssi=Lq4S_6qfjBrRtFmW I will join your patreon, however, from my past experiences, my circumstances and a near successful attempt at taking my own light, I think the chance of long-term damage is worth the risk if stimulants would work the way I think they would. I've been running from my life for near 15 years, from something that I only now start to understand. Heavy is the crown, for each of us, but mine just crushed me as mother nature does its course and I don't fully trust my abilities to not just bail life as it is. I fully agree with, and I know you're right with most of what I've heard from you. I've felt it, I've lived it. Dr Mate Gabors work accidentally flipped the switch for me a couple of years back. That said, I'm a student, a baby, I don't know anything about any of this, and surely no one around me does. I'm hoping to get better and I really don't know where or how to start. Thank you!

[@Sebastian-wr6xn]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess From my internal understanding, I think my type of brain is prone to ADHD as it comes with some functions that are just more sensitive. It felt like ADHD is a state of the mind as a direct result of not being in tune. Not the type of brain itself. This was my internal understanding. I might also just be using these labels wrongly.

[@Sebastian-wr6xn]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess ADHD feels like a mechanism turned on by the epigenetics, that permanently stays on, because something wasn't right. Unlocking some kind of DNA memory or roadmap of a figurative hell, and lack of hell -> life, energy. Dr Mate Gabor talks about expectations of air coded in the DNA, so that we develop lungs, not gills. ADHD to me, is the brain/CNS state of dissonance. It could be accomplishing something by trying to reach homeostasis, but it could also come with very real negative consequences in a society. Its hard to explain when its only my thinking brain that is online, but with your expertise and knowledge, you'd see which parts of the whole picture am trying to talk about.

[@Sebastian-wr6xn]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess I still don't understand alexithymia/anhedonia. I've been like this for a decade. The few months I felt my feelings, joy, empathy, sense of self, got my compass in life, along with myself back. But, it required me to fight for it harder and harder daily by the end of it, until I lost it again when life got busier and I have fallen back to old survival patterns.

[@RachaelAnnMalai]

My Pure OCD means " Suppressing my creativity" which means, I cant decorate my house, I cant wear certain clothes, I cant write the books and poetry in my head because if I do something bad will happen. Therefore, my house is spartan, i have old clothes and to the layman I look like a hippy with no motivation. I find it hard to follow through, i like immediate gratification, school was boring and I was called lazy and stupid. I had to be polite and well mannered and fit in, I had to be the in between of my parents bad marriage, I was in an abusive relationship and all my decisions are impulse based and last minute. Its being trapped in your own mind, I have physical symptoms, intense fear of gloom in my stomach, lethargy , I have to rock myself to sleep or calm down. Writing this is exhausting but I wrote it. It hurts my intelligence but, masking it and playing dumb is easier .

[@shawnleong3605]

My belief is that there is no use holding onto these labels such as ADD, ADHD, OCD, depression, whatever. I don't have ADD/ADHD tendencies, but I suffered significant trauma, which led to me developing "OCD," which is once again a label I have consciously discarded. Trauma has made me stuck in a perpetual freeze mode, which can be easily seen as procrastination as with ADD/ADHD. I would say one has to be careful when making such videos, as some people like me may worry about developing another "illness, which we know can be easily misdiagnosed in the mental health field. This is just my two cents!

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

In video 50, Part 5, I discuss how to break the freeze response. You are right; these are just labels, and the only things you need to ask yourself are... "How do I consciously reprogram my unconscious responses, desensitise my body, recharge my batteries and decide who I wish to become and what I desire to do with my life....?" Then start doing it. www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialist

[@netabarbakadze9705]

Incredibly precise portrait of me((((((

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Well, there is much you can do about it www.patreon.com/theanxietyspecialist - but you probably won’t bother :-)

[@netabarbakadze9705]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess i difnt quite vatch your point sir😒

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

If you do have adhd - you’ll have good intentions about taking action, but will procrastinate like crazy!

[@MzzDee]

This is me. To a tea, unfortunately.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Well, there is much you can do to reverse the OCD - though ADHD is just how you are - my wife has it an is as happy as Larry!

[@MzzDee]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess I managed to keep it together for 42 years as a workaholic. Then I hit perimenopause and unfortunately had a nervous breakdown and now have agoraphobia. It's going to take time.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

The secret is all about recharging your emotional battery... kzbin.info/www/bejne/qXzUfn2Yp8SWl6M

[@cherylmart6338]

Its all in the mind

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

We don't have a mind; that is just a word! Let me explain... www.patreon.com/posts/70456798

[@ericsilberstein667]

I struggle with guilt and pets.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Both can be reconceptualised and desensitised - here are some video clips that might help. Guilt - kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZoCzc319m61moac ERP done correctly - kzbin.info/www/bejne/imLYqHaGr9Z_ftE

[@magnetmountain33]

No bro, it’s because OCD is the only way that we can remember anything without making mistakes

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

There are no mistakes - only failures to take action. We can only ever be responsible for the input of our actions, never the outcomes - but people with OCD want certainty in an uncertain world, that is why they are so scared, exhausted and stuck. They are living life wrong. Life is for taking action just to see what WILL happen, not listening to your brain which thinks it KNOWS what will happen, which it doesn't.

[@magnetmountain33]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess the rest of that is inspired. I made the comment early and slightly as a joke but I did find myself using obsessive compulsive disorder to cope with lack of working memory but I have dyslexia as well so I’m not sure exactly how much it crosses over I often wind up having to go back to the front door at least four times to doublecheck that I’ve locked it and of course it’s only the times when I don’t go back then I find I’ve left it open so yes, I totally get what you’re saying, and a lot of it loops back to being scapegoated, whether it was my fault or not because of working memory very interesting stuff I actually sent it to a couple of old friends who are still trying to figure out why I am the way I am who knows it may actually help if they watch it?

[@magnetmountain33]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess would be fair to say that even with using OCD to triple check whether I have done the kind of stuff I might forget I managed to leave the front door open but it had a different point in my routine due to bring bags of shopping and woke to find someone strolling into my house at 6 am in the morning with a very poor and delayed response to my questions of what The fk are you doing? I just thought I’d put my head in he said so quite often there are very real consequences for forgetting to do these things but it’s in the meta also they say these days? OCD tenancies do you have some positives and I guess because I’ve been trying to focus on the positive sides to everything in an attempt at some kind of occupational alchemy I may well have stopped looking at the negatives associated with the comorbid condition…..? It’s always interesting to analyse both polarities👍😎

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

ADHD is just ADHD - you will miss things, leave doors open and forget things.... My wife does it all the time, she just accepts it and laughs at herself. Luckily, she lives with me and I love her for who she is. However, ADHD brings her freedom, creativity, and engagement with life - and she has learned to forget the bad things and remember the good things. Don't fight ADHD it is just a brain configuration - you can't really change it but you can accept it.

[@ranc1977]

Unconscious PureO targets the opposite of who that person really is. Example: they consciously desire to travel, but unconsciously fear traveling. They consciously desire to be social, but unconsciously fear of abusing those whom they meet. Or unknowingly they sabotage their relationships. They consciously want to break rules, but unconsciously fear other people being upset and telling them off. 🟥 Pure O (OCD), Complex Anxiety This is mind blowing and it perfectlty makes sense.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

Its obvious really - I don't know why main stream psychology can't see this?

[@ranc1977]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess I wasted 20 years on CBT - following it blindly to cure my social anxiety. CBT instructed me to believe: 1) that my fears are irrational, that toxic people do not exist but in my cognitive distortions are making me scared - which was not true. 2) that am I abnormal since I lack social skills, and that I am sick because I do not have assertiveness - and I must develop shame and guilt to improve my errors and flaws. This ended as toxic shame. I ended up being crippled with panic - since CBT explained me that social anxiety is my fault. While in reality - I learned that social anxiety is byproduct of ACE and ACoA - toxic ambient where we learn to suppress our natural healthy anger and we push it down. Then other parts inside us take the role of anger - unsuccessfully and creating panic in the process - since it is similar to sending children to war front. I suppressed my army and miliary and police parts - that are specialized for establishing boundaries and alarming intruders when they cross common sense social agreements. CBT never explained it like that. CBT is automatic default therapy for social anxiety - anyone struggling with social anxiety will buy self help books or enter into medical therapy - which will be based on CBT. With CBT I developed fawning and people pleasing and self blame and toxic shame and PureOCD and inner critic - since I never had been told that I am suppressing my anger. No one told me that is the only problem and nothing else. Before social anxiety I was social, I was outgoing, I had social skills - this is not something that I was unable to have, as CBT explained it.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

@@ranc1977CBT is not very effective for OCD - especially pure o. ERP on intrusive thoughts must be to normalize fears not step into them. For example - a fear of stabbing a person must be visualised as cooking that person a loving meal using knives appropriately then eating it with them using a knife and for.

[@ranc1977]

@@TheCalmnessinMindProcess Yeah. My PureOCD theme was around rude, violent aggressive people who yell and scream at me - either because I did something wrong or they accuse me of something I didn't do. Their anger was something that came back to me as intrusive thought and I could not shake it off. Either physical or verbal abuse form someone I know or someone random, at work or in street, this was my PureOCD obsession - how to fix their anger, how to shield from it, how not to feel unworthy and inept and guilty about it. This was my obsession theme that plagued me - and CBT had no other explanation other than blaming my "cognitive distortions". While in reality - it was my own suppressed anger - inability for my anger to handle toxic people and hence create invisible shield so that they can't hurt me inside as they did.

[@TheCalmnessinMindProcess]

@@ranc1977 That makes sense.