Does Modern Therapy Not Understand Men’s Suffering & Suicide?

[@johnsendim]

This is why I developed my clinical practice towards helping men. Being a man and a male therapist we need the right support. I would be happy to talk to you about developing training for therapists to support men seeking therapy!

[@rootcanal7188]

@john, Thank you. Feminism has completely coopted the mental health profession

[@JohnBaptist702]

What is your email address? I would love to work with you.

[@AdamWEST-yu2os]

The system is against us. Women have weaponised the whole system against us. And yet they are the ones who are oppressed.

[@sebastianpokorny]

The problem is us men KNOWING (not feeling) that no one cares about our existence or our achievements, so there’s no incentive to stay alive or work harder. If someone tries to care, they “care” through treating us like we’re women that need emotional validation instead of practical advice on how to be proactive again in a way that’s appreciated and also how to seek meaningful relationships in a world where women have contempt or unrealistic expectations for men. Masculinity is dying because it is punished severely and deemed as “toxic masculinity” as well as female privilege, male oppression, and the distinction between male and female not being recognized and fixed.

[@eduardostapenko6808]

from what i see usually the woman is concidered the victim, the prey. "all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others"

[@CyberPunkBadGuy]

@@eduardostapenko6808 women, the perpetuall victim but also strong and independent. choose whatever role fits her whichever most benefit her in the moment. tossed away indivdualism to praise all women and demonize all men then wonder why there is a male crisis, all this did was break the already suffering men and give the already privledged women excess and ego strokes. working as intended. but the consequence will be reaped which is overlooked.

[@markmathis5677]

I have thought more about suicide lately. I just feel a sense of loneliness. It seems like no one really either cares or understands. I definitely am in need of professional help for sure

[@ManTalks]

Have you reached out to anyone or found any avenues of support? Would be happy to help however I can as i've worked with a lot of men who have found themselves in this place.

[@mjpage2398]

I've been looking for REAL help for my son for years. He's 21 now. Still looking.

[@ManTalks]

Come out to a mens weekend. Or send him if he's open to it. He will get help. I partner with a man who's been doing developmental psychology for 40+ years and is one of the best clinicains I've ever met.

[@Beginning-l3s]

Get him a mentor. You'll never find anything in therapy unless your boy has real mental health illnesses. People confuse therapy with mentorship sometimes.

[@BarnacleBob-fy7bo]

When I just couldn't take it as a young man...I piled in my car and drove across the country to live in my car in the woods and do construction...agency was huge

[@johncalhoun9335]

Dont give up on him

[@sneedle252]

The most valuable moment for me in therapy was realising that the therapist was actively detrimental and the only person I could rely on was me. Huge surge in agency.

[@CerUz100]

Thanks for what you do Connor I almost teared up while watching this video I've been there and I see the mirrors everywhere thanks for giving a voice of importance to the real problem behind man's life this content is so wholesome and exactly what men are looking for out there, you are doing a great job, as a main issue I found out is that there are no father or good figures to look up to have some guidance and at some point I want to study Psicology just for the sake of giving man what they need in life to have a good life and to have direction to solve their issues, much love Sergio.

[@ciprianos4]

I will tell you my experience... when I was very little, like 3 years old, my mom left me for a short while at my grandmother. At some point I started crying, and because my grandmother did not have control over the situation, she decided to stab me in the back, literally. When my mom came to see how i was doing she saw me bleeding and took me home imediately, never told anyone and I look pretty normal after more then 25 years. Thanks for being here i guess. God bless.

[@chrisjackson9626]

Great video, I work with teenage lads daily. The thing that we look to uncover during our time together is purpose. Often I see these young men initially after a crisis, so a reason to get up each morning and, as was said in the vid, the offer of clear guidance/direction is vital.

[@Clem62]

I've never really been helped in therapy and all the doctors/councillors were men. I didn't recognize an episode or depression because I experienced extreme anger towards myself. There was no sadness. Despair yes. Meditation to control my reaction to my thoughts and I'm lucky that medication works well for me. Find a purpose. Place yourself in a position where you are relied upon. Take pride in that and your self-esteem will soar.

[@sonicleaves]

I speak from personal experience when I say that "therapists" are always way crazier than their patients. Yes, it's a blanket statement and yes I 💯 stand by that.

[@TK-ny5ib]

You are absolutely correct about the fact that it is almost utterly impossible for a woman therapist/counselor to truly understand what a man is going through....She might be able to help him access his feelings but most men need a male mentor/s or trusted male friend/s to help him sort out those feelings and come up with a plan, purpose and direction....In a world where many men are raised by single women this is absolutely critical!

[@stoneylonesome4062]

Female solutions will never work for male problems. Baby Boomer/Generation-X solutions will never work for Generation-Y/Generation-Z Problems. Gay solutions will never work for straight problems.

[@blissfullyinsane8718]

So where are all these male role models when there’s so many single mothers?

[@Ozzy-Mag]

@@blissfullyinsane8718most single mothers are there because they left their man/husband. It’s a smaller % that are deadbeat runaways

[@Ozzy-Mag]

@@blissfullyinsane8718women that get pregnant to flighty playboys need accountability too because it’s usually quite obvious what kind of character those men have

[@blissfullyinsane8718]

@@Ozzy-Mag left for good reason because staying would destroy their children

[@mattemenheiser6911]

Great video echoing my experience 100% Cog. Talk therapy gets me deeper into my head(which i dont need any help with😊), creating more detailed story or meaning about a feeling or event that is often just my victim shadow. Deeper and deeper into my mind, but never simply feeling what ever it is. And like you said, no directional help. And that reserve to mention suicide with a lic therapist? Do they report it, can the be present and hear me? Group mens work, emdr and somatics has shown me to feel and be witnesses and leave the dark corners of my mind.

[@richardmell299]

I've struggled most of my life with my mind over the years its been harder to controling what I say caused psychological damage to people I don't seek forgiveness, I just hope they can move on with their lives.

[@contemplateboxing5634]

I went through a short stint with therapy after I went from active duty into the reserves. I was in my mid 20s at the time. Around my early to mid 30s, I contacted the veterans crisis line and got connected with some group therapy. I regret actually taking part in that, as that was geared more towards soldiers suffering from PTSD and that was not what I was going through; so there wasn't any help the sessions could offer and the therapist in that session didn't seem very solid (no disrespect intended). Now, at 40, I've seen my wife go in and out of therapy sessions, been through marriage counseling sessions...and I just have no confidence in therapy. But, this was an informative listen and probably explains SOME reasons why I feel the way I do regarding therapy. Suicide is probably on my mind more now, at 40, than ever before. But, I'm coming to accept that the situation is the reality. I'm only speaking for me when I say this; but, maybe, for me, that acceptance is more therapy than what any licensed professional can offer to me. Maybe this just is what is it is. For me, at least.

[@thomasallen531]

I tried therapy it didn't work, works great for my wife but i feel like everything i said went in one ear with out other just like my regular dr and the chronic back pain i have dealt with for the last 20 years

[@kshitijmane2301]

I've been struggling with mental health issues. Been lonely for my whole life, been an only child, parents separated(not officially) and been having suicidal thoughts.

[@voskresenie-]

You've put so clearly something that has bugged me a lot with therapists I've had, but I always felt like I was just 'wrong' for being bugged by it, and this video was incredibly 'validating' (hah). I've had 3 therapists in my life -- one woman, one very effeminate man, and one slightly effeminate man. The woman and slightly effeminate man I both really like, and I still meet with them both (one is an addiction counselor for my alcoholism -- thankfully been sober for quite a while now -, the other a more general therapist) but I feel like I haven't gotten as much out of it as I should have in that time. Namely, I've come to them with real problems and things I don't like about myself, and I'm always told the solution is, essentially, 'self-love', 'self-care', and ... that's it. Which, to be honest, I probably actively hated myself at the start and held myself to too high of standards (to the point of counterproductivity, a la perfectionism), but after quite a while of working with them, I'd stopped beating myself up for not being perfect, and I wanted to actually make progress on my goals. But both, especially the female counselor, respond like I need to just relax my goals (which really, are perfectly achievable and not that ambitious at all) and spend more time on 'self-care'... I'll talk about how I feel like I just spend all my time outside work sitting around doing nothing productive, and that I lack the consistency to make progress I know I'm capable of making if I could just be consistent. And I'll be told that sometimes I need to give myself a break and just do things I enjoy. But that's the problem, I don't enjoy any of the stuff I waste my time on (mainly doomscrolling and doomclicking on youtube), but I can't seem to get myself to do much of anything else with any consistency. I've thankfully improved a lot on this over the past year or so, but the therapists have been very little help with that - and if I listened to them, I'd just make tiny amounts of progress over years and years, never make more friends, never start dating again, and so on. I'm not unhappy at all right now, even reasonably happy most of the time, and therapy and getting sober has helped a lot with that, but I'm at the point where I want to push myself harder and I feel like I'm being told /not/ to do that and encouraged to keep up with the mediocrity. Anyway, this has sort of inspired me to try to look around for other therapists that might be more helpful with this sort of thing.

[@adamfillman9020]

No one can help anyone. We can only help ourselves

[@Beginning-l3s]

The problem with therapy for non mentally ill people is the therapist can't tell you how to achieve anything but what they've achieved themselves. I don't need a therapist. I need a mentor.

[@HWYH.]

Thank you. I feel I'm on the verge of ending it.

[@78779]

Don’t please. My son did and the void he has left is indescribable. As his father I’m devastated beyond belief. The pain is harrowing.

[@HIDHIFDB]

Sorry for that but there is nothing to keep going life is a nightmare and no mater how much i scream cant wake up

[@chaesshorts]

Unless the stats those men who committed suicide suggested they had all had female therapists… there’s a small bias here. Also bc I’m a woman who has been in and out of therapy - it’s not just centered around validation of feelings.. I think it depends on what you share your goals are. I do think men and women are different and thus need different approaches and there’s a lot of shame with men seeking help… rip to those men. I hope we can do better as a society.

[@toddjohnson271]

They understand.....they don't care.

[@MobiRobz]

Another well laid out episode!

[@ManTalks]

Thanks, appreciate that.

[@doreen3763]

Rip my son, pending a divorce.. 28.. 2 kids. I tried to help., I didn’t understand depression.

[@JoeRiver444]

I'm a gay man and in my experience women or men therapists seemingly don't know how to provide me therapy with the understanding of what gay men (particularly gay middle aged men) deal with in today's world. It seems like they all use a general approach. I shouldn't have to teach a therapist about the gay lifestyle. It's exhausting and concerning.

[@brokenpixels263]

It's easy to be alone when you are a man. There are plenty of things I've never told anyone. I can't think of anyone that might actually be able and willing to help me.

[@tregrenos8615]

I’ve currently been going to therapy for over 5 months now, but today I’d been looking into suicidal help videos to evaluate what I’d been going through. I have to ask, if you’re having active suicidal thoughts because of someone should you bring it up with them or would that be seen as more of a threat than an attempt to work through the issue? I already know the individual thinks I’m nothing more than a troll, though my issues have always been there and they just happened to be the catalyst that set me to seek therapy.

[@josepsoler4124]

Sadly some therapists and academics actually BLAME men for their "toxic masculinity" that prevents them from seeking psychological help. An inhumane way of blaming the victim. First of all we need more empathy

[@eduardostapenko6808]

what i vividly remember from school is a concept that a woman is the victim, the prey. male is the agressor, the predator. "all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others"

[@tomasr64]

yeah, talking with a woman therapist about my sadness does't really help. What helps is someone showing up around the campfire and doing activities. Men need tasks to do with another guy and being asked to participate, invited in and feeling valued. Society doesn't do this very often no more. Unless you buy yourself into a group/tribe. Remember, men need a job.

[@incognitoomen7898]

My problem is that I feel like Atlas, I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. The weight of helping my friends and family, and being financially sucessful. Along with the losses I have felt, I don't know if I can carry it anymore.

[@mrg3681]

I’ve had therapy multiple times mostly with women and not to be political but it was just so anti male. Like if anything I felt uncomfortable going to therapy because it was politicized to hate myself for being male.

[@bf3ram]

The ones I love will be better off without me.

[@Uknown76]

No please keep fighting life is worth living don’t waste it please

[@eduardostapenko6808]

man, same damn mindset. can relate.

[@steve3131]

Maybe you shouldn't love them, or have them in your life.

[@themysteriousunknown4269]

I feel the same way sir😢

[@eduardostapenko6808]

@@themysteriousunknown4269 same.

[@justmadeit2]

Depression is so scary at it’s worst

[@darylgholson4481]

Men don’t feel therapy can help. There’s a stigma around the embarrassment of seeking help in general smh.

[@thiccactus]

That's because it doesn't work. I've had multiple therapists and none of them have done nothing to help besides trying to shovel pills down my throat. The entire profession is a joke.

[@eduardostapenko6808]

yeah. can't say goint to therapist made me feel better. i only felt expected to get better. and i felt like a failure that i am.

[@clarkbruce_exmuslim]

This, alongside Adam Lane Smith, explains why I've recently been a bit resentful towards Gabor Mate, who I otherwise actually appreciate. He's been criticising Jordan Peterson on very loose grounds, it seems to be personal. Nobody's infallable, but the way Gabor criticises Jordan sure is beneath any professional. I've never heard such thing from any other licensed therapist thus far. This also explain what he's been missing all along besides his criticism; he doesn't understand why so many men are drawn to guys like Jordan. He doesn't seem to understand male depression much better than other therapists, despite imo being much smarter than most actually.

[@nicolechown2249]

Yes indeed talk more about this. ah i heard a story today. a husband tried 3 times. it is an epidemic in Australia. As they age they become very silent.

[@xyzain_1827]

You say this, clean your room, dress properly, etc. , but I don't think it helps? Been doing this for years

[@TheFracturedfuture]

All the shit they say helps actually does nothing.

[@Beginning-l3s]

12:51 This is what Mentors do. They give you direction.

[@Beginning-l3s]

unfortunately if you want the best of the best it's going to cost you

[@ChrisPatrick8199]

just shared this on facebook

[@peterreed9566]

This is never going to change so we'd just better get used to it.

[@soulfullthinkings4664]

Excellent!🙌🏼

[@jackdeniston59]

Talk fails for men.. It is all about do. And recognising the doing.

[@katc7765]

I believe you mention your father's distress seemed to begin following an accident. I would like to mention that many pharmaceiticals can cause mental anguish. I was poisoned by a single dose of MRI contrast, aka Gadolinium-Based-Contrast-Agent. While it caused horrific physical changes in my body that nearly killed me, the worst was the overwhelming sense of impending doom. For years, I begged God to let me die. Then I was further harmed by more meds to treat my symptoms. It has been 12 years and I am finally beginning to recover, but I had to get off all the pharmaceuticals first.

[@DerekGotega]

I grew up in a Christian family, at church and in Christian school. We were taught to give testimony on a microphone in front of everyone, talk about your life with others. Strong relationship building and vulnerability. I brought this through my life. I can tell you that I feel a society that hates me, women are cruel, they think they’re so much better than me. Family court looks at me like a criminal. It’s not that I don’t talk about my feelings.

[@MaryAlford-cg3jg]

Had the convo with my people they all think i want sympathy so when i happen they kno why

[@nicetomeetme5150]

As a man who has had a traumatic childhood, been to prison, had my heart broken, disassociated from friends and family of the past. I am doing great in life now, i am married, i make a 6 figure income, beautiful kids, lots of material things. I did it all on my own. I spoke about myself first because, I usually really dislike when a coworker or a recent acquaintance starts dumping emotional baggage on me. Its girl problems, ex wife problems, child support problems, their vehicle problems, problems on problems. It always makes me feel negative and i usually just cut them out or avoid them. Idk whats wrong with the world. I hope someday society will take its time to start caring for these broken men that live amongst us. I know i am not equipped to be some strangers rock. But all this support we give women, we need to start giving to men. I want to 1 day make friends with other men who are equally happy and satisfied with their lives and decisions.

[@blacktophemirt8526]

women talk so much about sexism,yet they have no idea what its like to go through a divorce as a man.being guilty untill found guilty barely begins to explain it and the mediator was a karen that hates men yet called it her "calling"

[@eduardostapenko6808]

"all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others"

[@Kellejesse]

Could it be that women are biologically inclined, with an innate instinct to survive, because they have to nurture and care for their children, while men may be more willing to sacrifice themselves to protect, provide, or compete? And if men are unable to fulfill these roles, do they experience an innate drive to retreat, or a sense of completion or lack of direction, as you mentioned? I believe biology and hormones play a significant role in the higher suicide rates among men compared to women. There could also be differences in the reasons men and women take their own lives but not always. Men mostly always have had higher mortality rates, partly because of a greater inclination to take risks, compete, and sacrifice themselves. On the other hand, women tend to have higher levels of oxytocin, which is linked to more attachment and nurturing behaviors. This could mean that women are biologically more inclined to form close bonds, while men, due to their biology, may find it more difficult to bond emotionally, leading to isolation or feelings of despair or purposelessness, and maybe more so in society today.

[@justinchase1697]

When you take and break a mans heart take his kids then lose all his assets and the take so much child support that they cant even support them selfs what do you expect!?!?!?

[@LoveLove-ev1cm]

What can we do to protect men from suicide ? We need to change society as a whole and go back to God. Men need to fortify themselves and fulfill their purposes of being the protecters, defenders, lovers, providers, and truthers . Mother Earth need men who live this. Never give up even if you feel let down. God loves you, and has your back.

[@LoveLove-ev1cm]

@@user-rb3ow4rl3c no. Only slaves to The Lord God. No man that knows is a slave to earthly matters, neither to his ego. He is honoured slave of God. And everything else surrenders to his greatness of character , morals and ethics.

[@jrocken20]

You can’t

[@HIDHIFDB]

Whats the point to even keep going nothing ever improves

[@LoveLove-ev1cm]

@@HIDHIFDB I bet you have loads going for you , it’s counting all the blessings how ever small , even your fingers to type , your eyes to see and mind to think, don’t let the failure of thesystem and illusions and deception of our government and education , the tears of brain washing and propaganda make you think you don’t have the power to change or do better to take action . Pick up the Quran it will tell you everything you need to know to have success in this life and the next . You got this ✊🏽

[@shinobitatsu]

​@@LoveLove-ev1cmevery religion is 100% lies.

[@justinchase1697]

Laws need to change! Women who cheat and destroy a family they should be held accountable!!! 100%

[@eduardostapenko6808]

"all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others" woman is concidered a victim with no doubt, which is misoginy.

[@shemsuhor8763]

all i've heard in 12 minutes is grift and bullshit. I hate my life and htis world and nothing here has helped. lmao

[@gretashapiro4118]

Particularly White men

[@Scorned405]

Not if you’re a real man. Only cowards off themselves. A real man endures.

[@jackdavids2723]

I hate Jordan Peterson not because the mainstream does, but because he is full of himself and many of his arguments didn't make sense, also now that he has revealed himself to support the genocide that's going on in Gaza, I hate him even more.

[@sharonberry410]

Blaming women again. Wow we are SO powerful even in a patriarchy. Women rule.

[@steve3131]

Well, you're legends in your own minds, if nothing else.

[@sharonberry410]

@steve3131 We are so superior to men. You all suspect it and fear it. We give birth and have multiple orgasms. Men are a joke in comparison. Cope, little boy.

[@BloodBornShadowWalker]

Feminazi id suggest seeking therapy. You might need it

[@soioioioioioio34]

I told my friends and family and they don't care

[@usa1945.]

Hope we can meet someday so I can care 🙏

[@eduardostapenko6808]

unfortunately society "cares" so much that woman having less income on a smaller job is more important than this. "all animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others"

[@eduardostapenko6808]

mine parents did not care enought either. and friends? i have one, he would understand, but i can't just take his time.