Does Sex Before Marriage Affect The Relationship?

Marriage Helper: Building Deep Intimacy Before Marriage
This episode of Marriage Helper tackles a sensitive yet crucial topic: sex before marriage.
Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Holmes, CEO of Marriage Helper, offer an empathetic and mature perspective, emphasizing the importance of building intimacy within marriage.
...Struggling with a sexless marriage after emotional disconnection? Learn how to bridge the gap and rediscover intimacy with expert strategies. Reconnect with your spouse and strengthen your bond - Free Mini-Course: bit.ly/3UHoqz
Here are the key takeaways:
Sex as Part of a Deeper Connection: Marriage Helper encourages sex within marriage because it fosters trust, vulnerability, and commitment. Sex becomes part of a larger tapestry of love, passion, and intimacy.
Alternatives to Premarital Sex: Open communication is key. Discuss values and expectations about intimacy before marriage.
Benefits of Waiting: Saving sex for marriage allows you to experience its full potential within a committed, loving relationship.
Honest Conversations with Kids: Parents are encouraged to have open and honest conversations with their children about sex using proper anatomical terms. This creates a safe space for questions and reduces the temptation fueled by secrecy.
Considering a Different Approach?
While Marriage Helper advocates for waiting until marriage, the video acknowledges alternative perspectives.
For Those Already Married:
If you've been sexually active outside of marriage, the message is one of encouragement: change your behavior and focus on building intimacy within marriage.
For Parents:
Openly discuss the benefits of waiting with your children. Help them understand why sex is best experienced within a loving marriage.
Marriage Helper Resources:
Subscribe to the Marriage Helper KZbin channel for more insightful content.
Share this video with friends and family to spread the message of healthy relationships.
Join the Conversation!
What are your thoughts on intimacy before marriage? Share your experiences and questions in the comments below.
DISCLAIMER:
Marriage Helper does not recommend the drinking of arsenic or any other chemicals not intended for consumption. Viewer discretion is advised.
Want 20% off your first month of your Save My Marriage membership?
Click the link and apply code "KZbin" at checkout!
🔥 bit.ly/3OhQJSg 🔥
Read more about this topic here! 👇
marriagehelper...
Learn How To Get Your Spouse Back - Free Course:
marriagehelper...
Marriage Helper Couples Workshop - Over 70% Success Rate:
marriagehelper...
#marriagehelper
MB01MUDAHF5UNLU

[@MarriageHelper]

🔥Read our blog post about this topic here! 🔥 marriagehelper.com/does-sex-before-marriage-affect-the-relationship/

[@luciuskaesar6409]

There are a few clarifications/additions I would make : First, we are designed to make babies, but that's NOT the ONLY design. We are also to raise a healthy family in a community environment. Second, "know" translates from the bible- in several parts of the Old Testament, to mean intercourse, but the Hebrew word also means to perceive or understand, which could add to the whole act. Finally, talking about rights @ 12:05 - 12: 30- as a human right yes, you can choose to do that, but as a Christian, talking about Spiritual rights, then you certainly should not. So, a Christian absolutely must wait. This was a very good video and I really admire the father-daughter relationship that you have. 🙏🙏

[@TR-qr9hs]

@@MarriageHelper If you've been married you cannot divorce women are bound to the man as long as he lives. I don't say it the holy ghost says it..

[@MaybeDavid]

My wife and I waited for our wedding night. We were both virgins. It was an incredible experience. We were always so grateful to each other that we both kept ourselves for each other.

[@jameswcollett]

I did the same. I think my wife did too. She divorced me. So that worked. EDIT: To clarify the irony, I should say that it "worked" for a number of years - sufficient to raise children and build up enough equity to then meaningfully torpedo with lawyers' fees and divorce settlement.

[@koolsmoothfan]

congrats to you guys and well done waiting until marriage

[@cecilegee2453]

. Mm ñm... 😊😊

[@azeezmuhammed902]

How old were you when you both got married?

[@nicoleosaji592]

Daaa it is good but the pressure comes from the males

[@firstnamerequiredlastnameo3473]

My wife and I went to our marriage altar as virgins. First time everything for us. Been happily married for longer than most people have been living. We still visit during our meals, flirt at home, and hold hands in public. We have always followed God's master plan for us as best we understood it. Life is good.

[@alexanderchenf1]

What does “visit during our meals” mean?

[@DonRood-fx3dt]

@@alexanderchenf1 I’m guessing the commenter is from the South, where “visit” is often used to describe talking, chatting, catching up…

[@cornelius0ng]

I greatly respect this sir🫡

[@Architectureguy]

@@DonRood-fx3dt Yeah, as opposed to just eat and run...

[@kbarnettbarnett8273]

We waited for marriage. We started dating at 14/15 yrs old and have now been married 53 years. It was important to us to wait and I’m glad we did.

[@todoranandrei8716]

Hello, how old are you right now?

[@kiavaxxaskew]

Y'all are so blessed. This is amazing for the both of you and God because it glorified him.

[@halima3u885]

well ofcourse if you were dating at 15 but most people dont meet anyone well into their 40s like me what then?

[@antinettesmith2129]

Praise God 🙌 Congratulations to staying firm on your convictions. And congratulations on your marriage 🎉🎉 .

[@boomer1049]

​@@halima3u885Age doesn't change things. It's God's way and that's always best!

[@kleinschmitterling]

"Dating is for the souls to get to know each other. In Marriage, the bodies will do the same" Wilson Tamayo

[@RoxanaAncora]

👏

[@quilenblackwell4820]

One of the many benefits of saving yourself for marriage is that it reveals the bad apples in the dating game very quickly. If someone just want to get in your pants they will FLEE when they see you are serious about chastity. This in turn makes it much EASIER to find "the one" because someone who is drawn to you for the right reasons will happily wait until your wedding night.

[@glennwhite1841]

That is correct sir!

[@anwaranwar-zl5nv]

Reverend Jesus Christ is not God. Jesus Christ is a Muslim. Only Allah is true God.

[@enzopied3015]

​@@anwaranwar-zl5nv Lol he certainly wasnt a Muslim

[@TheRVSN]

"This in turn makes it much EASIER to find "the one" because someone who is drawn to you for the right reasons will happily wait until your wedding night." - unfortunately, black widows do as well. So the solution is elsewhere.

[@johnhagan-zr4pm]

@@anwaranwar-zl5nv It's amazing how you insult Islam and the Prophet Muhammed. Surely you know that the Prophet Muhammed respected and recognized Jesus and Christianity ?

[@joshuafusselman3323]

I am so grateful that my wife and I both saved ourselves for marriage, and that we don't have any other partners to compare to. I believe that God's commandment about chastity is such a blessing!

[@stephenmason5682]

Good job you are compatible then?

[@joshuafusselman3323]

@@stephenmason5682 Yes, sexually, I don't know how we wouldn't be. Emotionally and spiritually and intellectually we are also compatible, which we were able to discern before marriage/becoming sexually intimate. 😊

[@stephenmason5682]

@Joshua Fusselman one thing that came to me was Size? We realised my wife was ' small ' while I was longer and fatter? It ended with me requiring stitches and a few visits to our shared Dr. My new wife was tense and couldn't relax! This went on for a few years, but we managed two beautiful daughters.

[@MrGuggisberg]

Must be convenient having the money for it.

[@whitewolf6730]

Us too! I had decided that I was going to be a real Christian. I also was fortunate to have the discipline to ignore a pretty face. Besides, I was going to college for Scientific reasons. New that I did not want that confusion in my life!

[@bridgetintheukraine]

I would also like to add,that if you are emotionally compatible, you will be sexually compatible..because you communicate what you like and dislike

[@kontinent1602]

Exactly! When there are great, grand, strong feelings , that is the best sign that you are compatible! What better signs to look for?

[@DonRood-fx3dt]

Disagree…30 years of near-celibacy in marriage tells me otherwise. Glad it worked out for you, but you really need to realize that “saving yourself” is not a guarantee.

[@nerychristian]

@@DonRood-fx3dt That's more of a personal marriage problem, than a "saving yourself for marriage" problem. Sounds like the woman was never really in love with you.

[@DonRood-fx3dt]

@@nerychristian Whoooosh

[@SamuelOzuna-rp9iq]

Zach@@DonRood-fx3dt

[@howardjohnson2138]

50+ years married - I've had one woman in all that time

[@michaelmelamed9103]

50 years married and I’d had it in quite a few “before that time”.

[@howardjohnson2138]

@@michaelmelamed9103 No, One Woman total

[@speakrighttogod]

God bless you and keep you and the wife!!! That's true loyalty, integrity, commitment, faithfulness, honesty, love, respect and honor. Others need to do the same. Just plain old the way God made it to be!!!

[@MrOldclunker]

Poor sap.

[@originalmamagrizzly2478]

Right!! 👍👍👍

[@AP777-JC]

Many men run away if you say you wanna wait until marriage. But then you know, they are not the right one...

[@Sir.Rome.805]

My kids are 24G, 18G and 16B and ALL waiting till marriage. I'm so blessed to have happy and confident children.

[@christos3280]

God bless you and your children

[@satyrsatyr3872]

Your are a strong believer!

[@halima3u885]

its all about self esteem

[@alextrezvy6889]

"waiting till marriage" // This is the corrupt language. In fact: the corrupt language actually leads to a sin. They say: "Why I have to wait? What if I die before it will happen? What if I die tomorrow?". The answer is: you are not waiting. You are _creating_ you future, including marriage. You learn, build, grow, achieve, express, contribute, until you become mature enough to attract/marry the right person.

[@bayani7626]

that's what your kids want you to believe. just kidding lol

[@FrogFarmRecords]

My wife and I waited before we were married. We have been able to freely talk with confidence to our children about waiting with a clear conscience. That is something many parents don’t have. We are very grateful for this.

[@crimsonite1524]

that is so beautiful, i hope to meet someone like this too so we can be like this to my future children

[@bibekjung7404]

KABEER SUPREME GOD 🙏-🙏🙏-🙏

[@Grateful4life4time]

There are actually humans who understand this and speak about it in our time and age!!! THANK YOU!!

[@Portia620]

Agreed!

[@kingsleyokoye8791]

@@Grateful4life4time exactly. We need more of these

[@virginiajimenez7955]

I needed to see this today. I'm 31 years old and have never been with anyone sexually despite having many potential options. Sometimes I second guess my decision to remain chaste. The timing of this video has refreshed and affirmed my commitment to staying chaste.

[@jamaica2010ism]

Waaaaaaiiiiiitttttt!!!!!!!

[@virginiajimenez7955]

@@jamaica2010ism That's sweet of you! Thank you for the encouragement. 😊💗

[@mariajnojules231]

53 going on 54 and still chaste. Fornication is not love, fornication is sin and the wages of sin is death.

[@rautierautenbach6621]

Gee well done and all my respect to you You will reap what you have shown:Purity and God's favour

[@virginiajimenez7955]

@@rautierautenbach6621 Thank you.

[@gloriamariadc7757]

It’s hard to not feel like “damaged goods” (from my 30s) while listening to this as a chaste 53 yo unmarried woman. Honestly grabbing onto Jesus is all that matters regardless if ur married or not. Being married to a good healthy person would be nice, but accepting God’s path for me needs to take precedence.

[@lucimga]

The same here. Even though I kind of feel rejected.

[@robertbrown9785]

great point- these two are missing a lot- especially the Grace of God to restore those who weren't as perfect as them

[@4321grp]

gloriamariadc, Amen!! How true!

[@ray-vf6ux]

@@robertbrown9785 this is for people that are younger then us. There is no condemnation in this

[@princesszara111]

Your virginity has NOTHING to do with your self worth and the value God has bestowed upon you. That’s a man made construct typically to benefit men

[@hrv4908]

God didn't make no fornication/adultery rules for nothing. Your virginity is one of the most important gifts a married couple give to each other. Spirit + body = soul.

[@phildeajackson]

Amen! That is so true.

[@briancarton1804]

God didn't make any rules because God don't exist. What about a widow or widower who can't save their virginity for a second marriage?

[@PaulStringini]

Problem is too many modern Christians do not see fornication and adultery as essentially equal.

[@hrv4908]

@@PaulStringini Adultery is worse because of vows made and a contract in effect.

[@PaulStringini]

@@hrv4908 Morally, sure, but fornication is a bigger problem so I see them as more equal in overall societal detriment. Most people don't have any idea fornication is even bad. There is still stigma against adultery.

[@kinnish5267]

Promiscuity habituates your heart to use people; restlessness and dissatisfaction will haunt each relationship undermining your ability to stop and fully love another just for who they are.

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

Pretty sure you are correct, it definitely won’t be blessed as it goes against scripture

[@saintlucia1596]

Very true

[@TheWilDOn31]

Absolutely agree! 👍

[@stevenfromer3816]

If only we could go back in time to correct the things we did to others and ourselves.

[@MichaelRutzz]

​@@HelenaHart_SPELLS actually helped me save my marriage with this,thank you

[@ojurdenis1190]

Me too😔😔😔

[@sharoncrawford7192]

I've often wished I could.

[@mr.2cents.846]

Yes. But we can confess our mistakes to Jesus and He will forgive us. That's why He died on the cross for our sins and rose again on the third day.

[@HelenaHart_SPELLS]

@@sharoncrawford7192 you could try now , fast result

[@bobwilkinson1217]

Your presentation should be presented in every venue, schools, churches, and everywhere possible.

[@INgirl812]

NO, it should NOT. Save it for your evangelical church group.

[@maxcorder2211]

@@INgirl812What problems do you see being caused by this presentation?

[@hotice8885]

​@@INgirl812 , are you just as passionately against homosexuality, transgenderism, and mastuebation books being pushed into schools--or just this teaching?

[@davidwooten3430]

They would rather entertain them with drag shows

[@adandel2281]

@@INgirl812 Save it for your 304 group.

[@deborahpacheco2799]

To me this is shocking that people are having intimate relationships with people on the 3rd date. That's awful

[@czito]

Try 1st meet. Not even a date.

[@michaelmelamed9103]

Definitely not on the third date, but on the fourth date it would be fine.😉

[@joanhampton2378]

When I was in highschool back in 'ancient' times the debate in my group was on which date you should let the boy kiss you !

[@Sense2024]

1st date for me! 😃 (I’m joking)

[@Sapientiaa]

Are you kidding? Most of them do it on the first. In fact I know girls who have done it seconds after meeting an individual; they will let a bunch of guys run trains on them. I know girls who were doing this at 14, and nowadays act as if they aren’t promiscuous with men that they are interested in, but while they are dating these men they are also getting railed by countless dudes.

[@Selah888]

This comment section really blessed and motivates me more to stay pure and not settle for less.

[@majesticmalfeasance]

I often feel as though I'm the last guy on earth who believes in keeping myself for my future wife, so it's good to hear you two talking about it in a positive manner. It's also nice to see the "sexology" profession used for honorable purposes, as, I believe, it started as a result of the fraudulent and highly destructive work of Alfred Kinsey.

[@timypaul]

You're not alone. Myself and few other friends of mine are on this path. A man must be able to control and conquer himself otherwise he can't conquer the world. I mentor my sister and several people to follow this path. Some are getting married and are extremely thankful they waited. Keep on keeping on man.

[@markmcflounder15]

To the last part of the posters comment. When I read about Kinsey I was so horrified! He was an evil corrupt man & the academic community was silent for decades

[@tracyorata3270]

Nice that's nice

[@mariocooldude9092]

Awesome 👍 bother 😀 it ain't easy 😉 lol

[@jaime-tm7rj]

You're definitely not the last guy on earth to believe that. I'm 30 and I'm still keeping myself for marriage. God's plans sometimes take longer.

[@IdratherbeinHobbiton]

I wish I had waited for my husband and I wish he had waited for me. But we both had other partners before we met each other. I pray we can instill this knowledge and moral into our children so they don't live with this same regret.

[@ReVoX161]

May i ask why you wish that ? I mean at least you don't feel you're missing out, right ?.

[@DavidJames-eq3lj]

Your honesty is refreshing. Alot of "image-protecting" comments on here and that will always make people feel quezy. We are all born sinners and compelled to sin. As Adam and eve sinned in the garden, ever since then we find ourselves living in a fallen world. But where sin did abound grace did much more abound. The main thing is that your relationship IS heathy and there is an indestructible bond between you and your dear husband,sister

[@mangot589]

There’s nothing wrong with that, don’t beat yourself up with regret. just as long as you’re the last for each other, that’s all that matters, eh?

[@questioneverything594]

​@@ReVoX161Yup

[@questioneverything594]

You know you enjoyed the ride. 😅

[@Rita1984]

I’m an orthodox Jew, my friends and I all waited for marriage. Best decision ever.

[@jaybah836]

I see

[@berealrb1496]

I agree, saving myself for my first marriage and I’m 53 ..

[@Sense2024]

You’re not alone

[@TexanIndependence]

For your first marriage?? You are kind of running out of time on that, why not go abroad to find a decent wife. There are very few good women in the West, so that might be your issue. Just a suggestion...

[@MisterDaryn]

It didn’t save your marriage?

[@berealrb1496]

@@MisterDaryn Single, never married..walking with Jesus pure relationships, no dating.

[@user-eo1zs5tn4m]

Western culture is everywhere now

[@snam85]

It also happens to men. Comparing your spouse or partner to former partners is so damaging to a relationship.

[@MichaelRutzz]

​@@HelenaHart_SPELLS actually helped me save my marriage with this, thank you

[@melissap2957]

What about when your 2nd partner is much better than the previous one(s) and they feel the same about you? It definitely makes you appreciate them more and never have a doubt if they are your everything. If you had no previous experience, you wouldn't have this understanding.

[@snam85]

@@melissap2957 I somewhat agree, and I’ve had this experience before. I try not to make comparisons in my relationship though-I want to appreciate my partner the way she is, not how better or different she is than my previous relationship.

[@mcmans.]

@@melissap2957 Rarely are Sloppy Seconds Better...

[@justsewit_tk5477]

I was just having this kind of conversation with my son who is almost 18. We were talking about relationships with girls and how it is better to have someone who is committed to just one person rather than running off to many people with one glance etc. Commitment is crucial for a long lasting relationship - period! I have only had my husband and so we both don't know what we've missed out on because we haven't missed out on anything!

[@Naturestheway]

Awsome and very rare story.

[@virgilmihaila223]

Amen ! Well spoken and true. God Bless you Guys.

[@fredstriker2042]

If you truly cared for him, you'd ENSURE he knows of dangers of marriage

[@Masowe.]

@kongasmr2581 we kissed a few hours before wedding. It was magnetic to say the least. We held hands after the wedding. My husband kissed and held hands before me though

[@timeforce80]

@@fredstriker2042 exactly if she cared she would say don't marry it's not worth the risk

[@dianebenker3072]

I am 72 and wish I had heard this kind of advice when I was 19.

[@brandonsmith2136]

im a single guy i started saving myself after a few horrible relationship ended badly because i sleep with a woman before marriage i decided to follow god and save myself for marriage and wait for the right woman this is a great video im sharing this video

[@sgreen9088]

Keep it up.

[@jadedfarmboy7264]

The woman who wanted to have a one night stand before she married to try someone else, should be questioning her relationship with her fiance on the whole. For her to even consider it, means that she is not totally committed to the marriage. Commitment during marriage is hard enough. To start from a point of doubt is not fair to either of you.

[@cryptojihadi265]

She's got a lot bigger problems than that. She's not marriage material, period.

[@vikinorman317]

Would she want her fiancé to do the same with another woman?

[@Portia620]

That’s is being unfaithful and gross! I’m not surprised at all!!!

[@adk5997]

@@vikinorman317 unfortunately men are invited and encouraged to do that on batchelors do. I think is s..pid And otherwise boys and men are encouraged to sleep around and praise themselves for it. It is backwards

[@Rabbinicphilosophyforthewin]

I basically got married for sex-I couldn’t control myself. But I have a hard time imagining it going differently. When looking at the person to marry, I had no idea how to weigh criteria. I mean, I’d never been married for years and years before, so I didn’t even know the right questions to ask-I didn’t know what I didn’t know. But. My wife had a tremendous faith, so I knew at the deepest level we believed the same. That’s what’s kept us together. Sometimes, it’s been just about the only thing, but it’s been enough for 26 years and it keeps getting better.

[@MichaelRutzz]

Actually helped me save my marriage with this,thank you

[@Rabbinicphilosophyforthewin]

@@MichaelRutzz I’m saying a prayer for God’s blessings on your marriage, wherever it is right now.

[@MichaelRutzz]

@@Rabbinicphilosophyforthewin go for Helena she will help you too

[@Rabbinicphilosophyforthewin]

@@MichaelRutzz who is Helena?

[@MichaelRutzz]

@@Rabbinicphilosophyforthewin look in bio and see and help yourself

[@mak88119]

Doing it God's way is always best.

[@chrisgemmix0815]

You mean not existing? That's sad.

[@speakrighttogod]

Blessings are the reward of obedience to God's will; curses are the reward of disobedience. God's way/mind on how to live is the ONLY RIGHT WAY! Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage is honourable in all [with your spouse ONLY], and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

[@compass5507]

Keeping God's commandments makes life easier, more rewarding, and much less complicated and problematic.

[@joshlarkin5022]

I am in a younger generation (In my mid/late 20s) and both my wife and I waited until wedding night, that was the best decision ever and we are so grateful we waited. We got married in our early 20s.

[@MFPWM2010]

Raise your kids with a biblical view on sexuality and marriage.

[@MrTruthAddict]

Horrible idea

[@leahclement4562]

I agree

[@edrtcw222]

"it's my right to do whatever I want with my body" .... "sure it is, but realize there is trade offs to 'whatever' behaviors you engage in... and some of those include pregnancy, stds, future relationship issues with other people..."

[@absolve4024]

As a woman I never compared men to other men. What did happen is the deep wounding of betrayal I felt in my own body. We betray ourselves when we just use our bodies intimately with people who can’t be with us through our lives. I think it’s men’s journey to logically size experiences against each other, while women’s journey can be more intimacy betrayal.

[@heidiWava]

@Absolve40 can I ask what you mean by the last sentence of your comment?

[@joshuafusselman3323]

Thank you for your valuable insight!

[@judymartuscello114]

I agree. I had many partners before marriage. The comparison thing does not happen with me. However I am deeply wounded from it on a soul level. ( Of course I was wounded from childhood which is why I became sexually active

[@nocturnaljoe9543]

If you don't compare people to each others. How do you apprechiate them? What you wrote makes zero sense. Consciously or not. You are genetically wired to compare men to each others. It is literally what made our developement as the current species possible. The amount of copium here is making my head spin.

[@kinnish5267]

Promiscuity habituates your heart to use people; restlessness and dissatisfaction will haunt each relationship undermining your ability to stop and fully love another just for who they are.

[@dee1nesh738]

Am a single mom raising a son 13)now and i tey as much as possible to talk to him. Am so thrilled to see him watching this (got this from him) its my prayer he will not make mistakes i made in life. Thenks for this

[@timeforce80]

Why should he wait for marriage when every other guy is getting it for much cheaper.

[@shahzebnasir4692]

@@timeforce80because he honours the others’ soul, understands the complexity and value of another human being and doesn’t just see a woman as an object that is a means to an end. He’s already laying down the foundations to be able to love fully rather than see every relationship as a transaction which unfortunately seems to be the case with you putting a price on it.

[@timeforce80]

@@shahzebnasir4692 every relationship is transactional this is not Disney

[@Gio-X-Man]

It's never To late to change, we all make mistakes 🙏

[@cbobadilla72]

Can we all agree if you mindset is it to get laid days before your wedding you don’t actually love the guy and your in no shape to marry in the first place. That’s still cheating if your engaged

[@speakrighttogod]

Thank you! Tell the TRUTH!!!!!!

[@JACCO20082012]

I questioned why they glossed over that as well.

[@acfkelly6291]

Why is that cheating?

[@pvmoore1154]

@@acfkelly6291 Foreign words like "commitment", "honor", "covenant", etc. Who in their right mind would want to marry someone capable of being that intimate with someone else days before a "death do you part" union??? Dumpster juice is what you would be marrying.

[@boomer1049]

@@acfkelly6291 It's called integrity! What you do when you think the other person doesn't know!

[@alanf.9490]

Chasity before marriage and complete fidelity afterwards is a law that brings happiness and trust. It avoids self deception and misery. Breaking laws like this leads to emptiness, unhappiness, broken relationships and heartache. It’s what the Lord expects of his children. God’s law of chastity is given to us because of love for us and knowing the consequences of violating it.

[@jeralddyrek1780]

I finished one of my oil paintings and I titled it "Wisdom is the Final Frontier." In other words, with all of life's knowledge, will you have the Wisdom to use it?"

[@poisonedchalice]

So grateful my husband and I were virgins and waited until after marriage.

[@baldwinndovi1637]

This is a good topic. I made a mistake i don't want to repeat. I have been living celibate now for five and half years. I think its better to wait than regret. Many Christian parents need to open up to their children and ensure they hild biblical standards

[@Drspeiser]

Super cool table. So thankful to God for my salvation and for the opportunity to do things God's way. The first time I kissed my wife was the moment the pastor said, "You may kiss the bride.". I have lots of regrets from everything I did before salvation, but I have no regrets with my wife whatsoever.

[@Faithfullfertilitytv]

Love the intro showing non Christian and Christian perspective. We married as virgins too. Great content

[@williss1192]

One of the best videos I've seen regarding this topic. Purity is very important, good job!

[@eugenelombard960]

We are currently living in a world where morality no longer exists. Abortion is just another form of contraception. Public schools and universities have become breeding grounds for all forms of vices. My prayers are for all the parents who still have young children and also for those couples who still believe in traditional marriage.

[@chrisgemmix0815]

It's funny you say that morality no longer exists. I'd say the opposite is true, we've made so much progress in developing and applying ethical systems based on sensible human rights, finally starting to overcome religious pseudo-morals based on bronze age societies. Religious beliefs have kept us in dark ages for centuries, so let's cherish the ethical enlightenment that rational thinking has brought us.

[@icedminttea2934]

@eugene Lombard I'm not sure it's ever existed. There's lots of examples from the past where people having multiple partners.

[@beme2032]

There is a passage in the Bible of Abraham doing it with some strange woman on the side of the road. That’s a passage that never gets read in church. To the other point, morals and morality exist-just seems like not many people live by them. That’s probably why there is so much suffering in the world. Funny how people like to blame God/Jesus for what people have done.

[@eugenelombard960]

@@beme2032 Please give Bible reference of Abraham doing it at the "side of a road" as I cannot find it. Thanks.

[@ILoveSoImAlive]

we are currently living in a world, where everyone lives in his own world. defined by information we consume and people we are hanging up with.

[@Bergerons_Review]

Just found the channel. I'm amazed that such a level headed straightforward channel even exists on youtube.

[@km47804]

I’ve struggled with this my whole life. If you don’t “put out” on the 3rd date, they either ghost or put you on the back burner while they continue to sleep with other people…promiscuous men completely gross me out. I tried a one night stand once and it was AWFUL. After that, I said never again.

[@AuroraBoarder1]

Good point. That's why communication is important. I once heard a story in the 80s when a man propositioned a woman on the 3rd date, and she declined, saying she wasn't ready. He actually thanked her. He said he wasn't ready either; he just wanted to show her he cared.

[@timeforce80]

Too late now other guys are gonna go OH I SEE, you can sleep with the other guy right away but not me

[@pete86]

So beautiful seeing this wonderful Father and Daughter relationship. You are both blessed.

[@samdye3038]

Exceptional advice! I believe this is in line with how God wants his children to behave so they can experience true love and joy!

[@A_T__]

Everyone can do whatever they want. To grow up is to understand that there is a cost to every decision you make in life, and there is no escaping pay day 😆

[@Star-bp5jj]

Well said

[@KinuGrove]

Love how open and honest this conversation is. I need to talk about this with my kids so they don't make mistakes like i did.

[@MdnoorMirza]

Main problem is that men didn't follow theirs religions properly, In religion has every problem's salutation. But now days western culture is removing thirs religion, and saying so called modern . Culture is made by Religion and western countries is majority Cristian. But western peoples are trying to create theirs new worst , sinfully culture which couldn't exist before 200 years .

[@Sir.Rome.805]

So worth it to keep waiting till marriage for those of you who are still V's. ✝️

[@nickeilfarquharson5571]

No

[@Sir.Rome.805]

Not too late to become celebate if not a V. Do it for Him.✝️

[@69erthx1138]

Based on the idea that we make decisions based upon a weighted average of our prior experience, it does stand to reason that "saving yourself" for the right person makes sense.

[@jesse75]

That's logical. But we are not talking about that when inflamed with normal breeding passion. And a person doesn't even understand it themselves.

[@89jmills]

Media and society glamorize promiscuity to the detriment of the happiness of all. Young women in particular are taught it is empowering to have a decade long rumspringer through their twenties, then are surprised when they get to the other side of 30 unfulfilled and single, or maybe in a dysfunctional relationship due to the emotional baggage they have accumulated through a decade of bad decisions. Young men, similarly, think that having surface level interactions with women in a superficial manner are somehow more fulfilling than a deep connection with a life partner. Our values are backwards, and we are our own worst enemies.

[@Anthony071177]

I really enjoyed this video and was glued the entire time to all the great positive information. It’s so different from what everyone else online and on KZbin mainly focus on just for clicks. Your video here is actually helpful to so many in our current climate. None of us are perfect nor flawless; so we as a society need more uplifting positive information & help to bring us together and to keep us together!

[@timmcdowell4092]

I believe the proper term is chastity before marriage. Celibate is to remain unmarried

[@DanielByers-qf9qi]

Yes. Thank you. Few understand that. It is possible (actually, common) to be celibate but not chaste. Inveterate uncommitted womanizers are technically celibate.

[@darienchrysafis3655]

My understanding is that we are soul and body creatures. The only spirits we have are either the Holy Spirit of the Living God or demonic spirits. Spirits are persons.

[@priscillaashton4304]

Not true. You can be married and be celebate. Joseph and Mary were celebate

[@METVWETV]

@priscilla ashton So says the Catholic. No one else believes that Nonsense

[@sonofglory7029]

@@darienchrysafis3655 The burden of the word of the LORD against Israel. Thus says the LORD, who stretches out the heavens, lays the foundation of the earth, and forms the spirit of man within him: Zechariah 12:1 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, Roman 8:16

[@robtam7529]

I am single at 59 and dating. It is difficult at all ages.

[@skip741x3]

Geez bro, im 63 and been in relationship for 28yrs.. if anything happened to her and I were on my own, I doubt I'd be dating.. I wouldnt know where to begin!...LOL a woman would have to approach Me to initiate anything...

[@annturner1256]

I don't understand why it's always the issue of a woman's virginity and not the man's.

[@B3BOP]

In my opinion it is best for both to be virgins since they can hold each other to that standard of keeping themselves for each other only.

[@pgtips2]

It's not just the woman, both is important.

[@ethanweber7976]

They just used an example who happened to be a woman. The rest of what they said applied evenly to both males and females.

[@stormrider112]

It applies equally to both men and women. They wanted to use an example and it just so happened that it was a woman in this particular case.

[@TribusCaputCanis]

That's why the women are ditching it, too. It looks like a scam.

[@aztecknight81]

If I could go back to that fateful day when I crossed that line…If I only knew what what I was opening myself to 😔

[@WhyNotYouWhyNotNow]

Thank you so much for this episode! I have a 14-year old daughter and am hoping we can talk about this topic openly and she saves herself for marriage. If you’re going to comment and don’t have anything positive to say, plz just move on.

[@jaredbednar9667]

Goodluck

[@deshajames2224]

Don't hope, you have to talk to her, make the space comfortable for her to talk.

[@WhyNotYouWhyNotNow]

@@deshajames2224 I have and I plan to continue

[@deshajames2224]

@@WhyNotYouWhyNotNow GREAT.

[@yogiine]

What if she dont want to get married... then what? Not everyone want marriage.

[@danielnovak4284]

Thanks for sharing this! It was very informative. God bless you both! Peace be with you!

[@cleipotzful]

This was a very beneficial information especially for teenagers in today's world. I myself agreed into this. Especially in my own spiritual beliefs. 🙏 Thank you very much for uploading this excellent conversation.

[@MrGuggisberg]

Too bad no teens will care.

[@cleipotzful]

@MrGuggisberg there must be some few it depends how their parents will raise them I believe.

[@Growmap]

@@MrGuggisberg Some would if anyone ever discussed it with them.

[@misskaykayRSA]

This was such a wholesome conversation! I will be drilling this into my children’s minds when I become a parent some day! This is so important. And as a Christian, it’s even moreeee important

[@juliad368]

What's important is not 'drilling' things into your children's minds but guiding them and supporting as they become who THEY choose to be.

[@venree7847]

A gem of a video! It was quite educational and gave me a deeper understanding and appreciation of my decision to remain celibate until I remarry. I intend to share this video with my long distance love interest so we can be on the same page when we meet again in the future. Again, thank you for sharing your discussion on this important topic. Its material is precious.

[@Sijilos]

I really wish you the best in that relationship!

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

It’s the right thing to do, God bless you

[@hamjeepr8881]

Great discussion! I wish more kids today would listen to this.

[@slimfbiggyansah4295]

Mainstream media will forbid them from hearing 😢

[@warrior7787]

Sin causes sickness in our bodies

[@stormrider112]

I was reading through David and Bathsheba recently and it taught me a few things. I was struck by the fact that even if we repent and are forgiven for our sins, it doesn't mean that it doesn't have consequences that affect other people (e.g. David and Bathsheba's first baby).

[@mmbtalk]

Great conversation and I think this will be useful to many of our Christian young people in this current challenging generation. You are so natural and I hope as a parent responsible over many young people can learn your skills, but anyhow, I will use this video for our youths

[@samsungs21ultra-cn8oj]

The doctor is correct 100%

[@johndoee3850]

91 percent.

[@timexpeachtree]

As a believer it warms my heart to be mindfulness of the lord and to blessed by his grace in this life and the hearafter and to have a lawful and happy marital life.

[@ellysetaylor5908]

During dating, it's less important to me to know if we are "sexually compatible" and more important to know he practices self control. After marriage there will always be other pretty girls and online stuff to look at. I need to know that this side of him doesn't rule his life.

[@shanarobinson7672]

Exactly

[@floydbuster9513]

Thank you so much for the video it had so much positive information, the only other area that I would add to it and I know you probably had a short time to do it. For those who have already been sexually you could have gave a couple of steps to get back to purity. God does restore our mind and can help us to be pure again. 😊

[@johndoee3850]

Father and daughter, very good communication!

[@freeto9139]

Thank you for this frank and refreshing conversation. People used to speak more openly like this in the not too distant past. Judging by the comments; you have inspired a great deal of soul searching and inner honesty. Please keep it up 🕊️

[@wonkothesane7000]

I can still remember the first time I made love to my Partner. Most people I know cannot. They forgot about it before they realized it was special.

[@MLWJ1993]

Exactly why would you limit the first time to be the ONLY special moment? Sounds like you're setting yourself up for disappointment, I'd aim for every single time being a special moment 🤔

[@alvingallegos6367]

This topic concerning being more conservative bringing purity to your life also reminds me of historical precedents from our parents being the influencing factor in a marriage partner from before the 20th century. That time points to no existence of dating which in turn creates less temptation and relying on the wisdom younger folks lack which in turn helps create a good blend and respects the individual's security in life including their spiritual level so in order to be evenly yoked with a believer that holds a proper understanding of God's Word because it takes a solid plumb line to stay on the same page instead of marrying a person that doesn't understand Godly wisdom.

[@shahtalha9325]

As a Muslim all my family were virgins till they got married, same for parents, grand parents and great grandparents.

[@Yazmin2002]

That’s beautiful! I wish our society pushed being sexually pure more than being sexually immoral

[@stravadacreson6471]

But muslim do poligamy

[@Juststayhopeful]

@@Yazmin2002 Right

[@shahtalha9325]

@@stravadacreson6471 Truth is most western people do polygamy (one man with multiple women) or polyandry (one woman with multiple men) but Muslims just do it in a legal manner by getting married and staying loyal. 60% or married couples cheat sometimes with multiple partners then you also gave open relationships. Also many men have 2-3 girlfriends at once but no one says anything to that. I wonder why that is!!!

[@TribusCaputCanis]

That you know of.

[@jamesbranner4029]

I believe the conversion of body mind and soul and making that connection with your spouse is the more important conversion rather than saving for marriage thats my opinion and i grew up with parents that had both conversations with me! 20 yrs and the longer we are together the better the intimacy gets and i thank god for that!

[@amygerges6974]

God bless this man and what he stands for

[@gordonbecker5055]

It is important that a couple pair bonds with each other. The higher the body count, the less likely that any pair bonding will/can occur.

[@lilyvonbulo9636]

I absolutely agree and love this video!! The explanation of love is spot on!! I'm crying! Thank you for such a good video on this subject

[@jesse75]

Please then don't trash the next guy you are with. Lots of good but not perfect around.

[@rebeccaxodonq7893]

I love Kim I think she doesn't use makeup. Her natural skin n beauty is inspiring me

[@gumdeo]

As recently as 1900, most women didn't use makeup. It really is a recent trend.

[@thecommonmanperspective1871]

I must confess, I've given myself to one woman, but she has had multiple partners and she would describe her experiences. I was with her for 27 years and I never loved her because I couldn't get over the disgust I felt towards her. I regret ever meeting her. Sorry for the rant folks. It's just a very sensitive issue for me.

[@Grace-to6hn]

What made you stay with her for so long when you felt disgusted with her. I'm not judging, I'm just genuinely curious 🤔

[@thecommonmanperspective1871]

@@Grace-to6hn , because of lust. I didn't have confidence in myself, I didn't love myself, and I was lost and lonely. Reflecting back, I was young and very misguided.

[@wehavespoken9593]

And how do you assume she feels

[@thecommonmanperspective1871]

@@wehavespoken9593 , she felt heartbroken and ashamed. I didn't love her, I was just using her. Our separation was a very bad separation.

[@sarahalderman3126]

Why would you waste her life like that? That’s awful, for both of you.

[@lisajohnson4744]

Aside from the questionable claim that you’re “going to be comparing your spouse” to the guy you picked up on Wednesday before your Saturday wedding, the bigger question is, why do you want to cheat on your guy like that? What does the actual CHEATING, the INFIDELITY, say about the relationship??

[@beme2032]

Beautiful video. Thank you. I think this needs to be played in every home. It should be a mandatory view in every junior high school.

[@NordiskSeger]

The sexologist is really bringing up some great points while simultaneously reclaiming the status of his profession (by speaking facts). Certainly a real professional at its finest.👌

[@kenanishmael3328]

I totally agree . Make it valuable for your self , for your morals, feelings and relationship. Bring value to your life and family.

[@CrownedJulz]

So glad this is being talked about with candor and honesty. There's too much justification for not saving virginity when that's the way God has intended.

[@Gabysuz1]

I liked the video and agree! The only thing I didn’t understand is why the focus is on women, like just them should save for marriage? 🤔 this is for both.

[@audrey6928]

This is wonderful!! Geeat, honest, teaching. As someone birn again and narried with my old sins covered by the blood, it definitely does effect intimacy. I bever understood that as i grew up Jewish and not taught spiritual ramifications, only worldly ramifications. I believe everyone should here this. Please make more of these!! Gis bless you both greatly

[@mypointofview1111]

30-40 years ago this subject was debated ad nauseum. Now it's reopened from the other end. Its a personal matter and people should be able to pursue what feels right for them without unnecessary pressure

[@richardleetbluesharmonicac7192]

Things happen, but God definitely rewards you. And it seems things don’t go so great the other way around sometimes.

[@kennylavay8492]

How about a spouse who finds out their significant other was easy and slept around with quite a few others. Pretty sure that would not be a good thing.

[@davidbriggs6086]

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If she was "active" before marriage she will likely be "active" after marriage.

[@2780-l2k]

That isn’t true for everyone. Your comment completely undermines the fact that the God/salvation effect, can change hearts, minds and behaviors. We daily renew our minds and are new creations in Christ according to scripture. Which means old self is crucified with Christ on the cross. People can and do change.

[@davidbriggs6086]

@@2780-l2k And what do you do with men or women who already had that experience before they cheated? What guarantee do you have then that they won't repeat their bad behavior?

[@timprice8928]

Finally, someone speaks the truth!

[@153digitalmarketing5]

Great Video! Thanks for sharing this. What advice would you give to the lady you mentioned in the video who had 60 partners before marriage and now she is not satisfied with her husband? How can someone overcome the past and recover their marriage?

[@joseamericodealmeida8078]

Repent and surrender your life to Jesus,Who will create a new person out of you.God bless you.

[@erichayes2890]

CANNOT believe this lady went through SIXTY PARTNERS before she got married, and is now dissatisfied and unhappy. ABSOLUTELY BLOWS MY MIND!!! THAT IS TRULY MESSED UP. SOME PEOPLE. I am the product of a divorce from the only wife I ever had, wanting SO BADLY to have a long-term relationship once again. Being alone in this world just sucks.

[@cherylmortensen8133]

Try a few hundred partners.

[@BryceMWalter]

seek deliverance and breaking of soul ties that may well be consequences of her choices. Being one with that many men would obviously bring whatever spiritual pollution was in those unions into her marriage and could destroy her marriage. This is one common reason the divorce rate is so high.

[@stephenmason5682]

Short answer, they can't!

[@joseph4848]

So grateful to God I stumbled on this channel today.

[@overkillblackjack2910]

I would like to hear the research about percentage of marriages that fail when the couples waited vs. when the couples did not wait. This would bolster your stance.

[@zaknefain100]

There isn't any, and these old notions about "what makes a long lasting relationship", when looking at the divorce rates amongst religious and non-religious couples, doesn't hold any water. In fact, one might conclude that a revision is needed. Truth of the matter is that women are in a very different position now than they were 20+ years ago. They are not entering in relationships to take a backseat role to their husband, the primary breadwinner. Like that or not, it's the reality we face and that changes the whole relationship dynamic.

[@hmmok5791]

I think you missed the point. It is not a predictor to how long a marriage will last. There are many variables that can cause a marriage to fail.

[@zaknefain100]

@@hmmok5791 No, I didn't miss the point... just expanded on the topic. And this response was to Overkill's comment, not the video. Do you have anything useful to add?

[@hmmok5791]

​@@zaknefain100 wait I understand now. I was responding to @Overkill as well.

[@overkillblackjack2910]

@@hmmok5791 i believe research has been done regarding what I specified.

[@brucebarton2837]

Amazing open discussion between father and daughter. Great analogies discussed. Keep up the insightful podcasts

[@overbank56]

Interesting conversation. Single, never married, no kids & never been with anyone. 57

[@danilaroche1156]

It's not too late! If you desire marriage go to the Lord about it. God is able.

[@christianben2940]

I love this.... Please make it more Biblical..... The creator of marriage cannot be excluded from marriage when teaching about marriage.... Thank you for this good work.... More Grace and wisdom in the name of Jesus Christ... Amen

[@carolinpurayidom4570]

The reason why they are keeping it relatively secular is because they are approaching it from a scientific viewpoint

[@G_Demolished]

@@carolinpurayidom4570 Marriage predates Christianity. So I’m assuming you mean it was created by Brahma.

[@Book_Dragon2562]

Not everyone believes in God or wants to. Keeping it non-biblical and scientific reaches a larger demographic and makes an impact on those who aren’t already being pressured to wait.

[@christianben2940]

Well well well... None of you have the answers to counter my point of making the teaching on marriage more Biblical.... Your points are noted but not useful to me... Thank you

[@mrtechie6810]

​@@christianben2940 he mentions Genesis.