Does Tito Ortiz PROVE That CTE Is Funny? I'm Dying Of Laughter!

[@the-mma-guru]

We really need to change the narrative on CTE being all doom and gloom. Tito Ortiz is helping us lead the charge.

[@WhosJoeMMA]

Just went for a night run on the levy. Saw a massive rod-shaped green light appear to my right in the distance, then disappear and I couldn’t see the source. Scared shitless. Ran to my car and drove home. Here I am calming down, thx Guru 😭

[@WhiteAngel888]

CTE is never funny

[@Bluis5445]

You have a very large forehead. You have the Vegeta hairline.

[@sweetpeagrayble5858]

An important issue, to be sure, but how is everybody's o-ring after watching this?

[@FinnMMA]

Sadly for Gaethje it already looks like hes on the retarded like CTE way. Even Sean Strickland said that Gaethje has crazy CTE and that he could tell that here is not much left and if Strickland says that shit it means something 😂😂

[@SwampOperator]

Lol chuck lookin around at everyone to make sure it wasnt his cte kicking in

[@TheAnimefool]

The idea of titos sentence being so disconnected that it causes Chuck to think he’s having a cte moment himself is hilarious

[@richarddixon1450]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@loopvil369]

it really is

[@Karl_Drogo55]

holy shit im crackin up at this

[@andymcevoy3109]

I’m literally in stitches at this hahahah

[@pauleleven6658]

i will never forget the look on chucks face at that moment

[@davekushner5340]

I’m laying in bed laughing so hard but so quietly, my wife just woke up scared because she thought I was having a seizure.

[@jackreacher2095]

Must of been on that kush you are named after 😂

[@shadyganley8877]

​@@jackreacher2095kush 😂😂😂

[@Itscomplicatedaf24]

That G force clip made me laugh so damn hard 🤣🤣🤣

[@songpizzas5422]

This comment made me lmao. 👏

[@Sergatx]

Holy. I’m doing the same 😂

[@Jay-u5k5f]

"I'm an old mature, I mature oldly. " Wtf🤣🤣🤣

[@burdy707]

i’ve seen that g force clip so many times and i’ve never once realised it was tito and now im laughing even harder

[@ifgwelf]

The look of utmost confidence on Titos face as he's about to deliver the cheese and wine promo, and you can see his brain malfunctioning as it's computing the sentence coming out.

[@flameguy3416]

You're just reaching for those 🍇...

[@rylanlittle261]

Lol

[@Romanus-]

It’s like watching someone do algebra but with the English language. He literally is trying to compute actual speech and is incapable of completing the process

[@harrydavey9884]

His brain is an engine running on Vegemite.

[@ainz2579]

​@@flameguy3416 and the wine is signing like the violin

[@datcrazywhiteboy6205]

"To all my fans ive never let you down until now" Tito Ortiz

[@ezradaiquiri11311]

"And I never will" 😂

[@datcrazywhiteboy6205]

@@ezradaiquiri11311 Please don't ever cut a finger off slicing onions

[@HugoStiglitz88]

You missed the funniest part "and I won't start"

[@HugoStiglitz88]

You got it wrong too. Yall must have CTE

[@speedzonefilms]

@@HugoStiglitz88you missed the even funnier part, behind him it says “the worst will happen”

[@Jeremy-th5pt]

"I train 6 days a week, 5 days a week, I'll train 3 days a week, ONE OF THOSE DAYS I'LL TRAIN 2 DAYS A WEEK" LOL.😂

[@macabre19]

😂

[@sweetswing1]

You're a punk dude

[@aresjerry]

Translation: he trains 6 days a week. 3 times a day, for 5 days. And twice, on one day before his rest day. 😂😅

[@sleevelessace]

@@aresjerry even that LOL there has to be a easier way to explain his training days then what he said or even the translation LOL, translating gibberish makes it a bit better but still insane LMAO

[@DKluvTALZY]

​@@aresjerrymate how you've managed to decipher titonese is impressive.

[@L8-APEX]

Tito's dialog is described best by this Michael Scott quote "Sometimes I start a sentence and I have no idea where it's going, I just hope I find it along the way" 😂😂😂

[@truesoulghost2777]

Dont we all?

[@Romanus-]

@@truesoulghost2777not really man lol

[@TheFarthall]

Ain't that a theo von quote

[@pill1154]

God i cant stop coming back to this video, tito side eyeing chandler is so fucking hilarious

[@luiz9672]

We need a person like Tito in the community to make us laugh

[@joeybplasticrehab5578]

Bet he’s awesome at scrabble 🤫

[@jonnhyappleseed7498]

Scrabble is to complex... its about that bingo life

[@jimberry5318]

Your looking at a lightskinned gorilla....... People think I'm African American - tito

[@Bickle121]

“I’m here guys, I will always let you down guys”

[@joshlife6395]

The onion scene, the cutting, the blood, and the fact he just continues, ignoring the fact he actually cut himself and is bleeding all over the family dinner- had me crying tears of laughter. Thanks guru, that was special.

[@Scheboygan8767]

I’ve never laughed harder at something on KZbin ever, he just kept going 😭

[@esewey1686]

As a chef I know for sure Tito’s finger was stinging like a mf and tiro was trying so hard to play it off

[@jakemitchell1671]

@@esewey1686 LOL! Was it a live stream? If not, surely someone watched it back and had to see the blood on the onion? Why was that just disregarded?? Hahaha....God I laughed until I cried. As a chef, you know his final push absolutely was NOT "good form." It was horrible! And while his choice of knife (machete? lol) wasn't the worst, an 8-10" chef's knife would do SO much better.

[@potatoman57]

@@esewey1686seriously why couldn’t he just re-take the video? Instead just decided to push through the pain?

[@esewey1686]

@@potatoman57 nah seriously 💀💀💀i can’t help but cringe so hard watching this video it’s hilarious. Why did he even upload it in the first place????

[@Mitch189022]

Brendan Schaub is proof that CTE isn’t always funny

[@ezradaiquiri11311]

🤣💯

[@heavensubculture]

Idk I think Brendan schaub is funny af not as a comedian but as a cte virtuoso he’s crazy funny

[@ezradaiquiri11311]

@heavensubculture he's so annoying. And I hate how he says, man. Like yeah maan that's so annoying, maaann...🤦. Besides, him and rogan threw eddie bravo under the bus about flat earth all the time, even though Joe knows for a fact we've never been to the moon and all the pictures are fake. It's so stupid.

[@drewdrewson1384]

the gringo poppy and his first spooshel are both masterpieces in the same way the room is

[@Fr6]

​@@drewdrewson1384Drew, you're definitely a spooshel guy.

[@acethegreat3963]

The onion cutting was a rollercoaster! It went from being funny due to his strange technique, to being body horror once he starts bleeding, to drama and suspense at how close he is to completely chopping his finger off, back to humorous when he pretty much insinuates he'd rather bleed cutting an onion than cry, to a feeling of resolution when he finishes cutting the onion with any further damage with respectable technique. We're lucky to still have tito with us after seeing how endangering he is to his own well being just taking on the most mundane day to day tasks.

[@Texmma]

😭😭

[@BeeRocket2010]

For years & years I swear my boss has only one expression, a frown, never smiled doesn't laugh, mono toned, not interested in making eye contact with life, he has always been suspected of having no soul and described as being a human with no personality. I put this vid on at lunch break and we all saw it happen for the first time...he smiled and laughed!

[@klaus2913]

So he is autistic.. .

[@heisenb3rg]

“You fans tune in. I never let you down until now.. I won’t start”😭😂😂

[@sleevelessace]

literally something michael scott would say LOL

[@kodokami7]

MMA Guru + Tito Oritz = Comedic Gold. One of the funniest video from Guru. Love to see more content like this, something outside of UFC related

[@Noseface]

Tito Ortiz is a content machine. Such a great meme that man is.

[@MooseKnuckle66]

Rewatching this. Just what I needed thanks Tito.

[@SpreadAU]

Tito left out what he was training on. “I’m training 6 days a week, 5 days a week cardio, 3 days wrestling….etc etc “ he left out what he was training on 😂😂

[@DreCrimson]

Lmao a classic. Shit had me confused for days

[@bryanciacco4181]

"You fans tune in, I've never let you down till now.... I won't start!" Is the best Tito quote of all time

[@HugoStiglitz88]

Totally agreed. It's funny on so many levels 🤣

[@happentodie8776]

I'm laughing just reading that 😅 brilliant

[@infiad1275]

He's like White Goodman from Dodgeball.

[@KING-KLOWDY]

As a professional chef for 20 years. Watching him cut that onion was the funniest shit I've seen in like a really long time lol.

[@beautifulstrongman]

He's one for ya. Buddy comes on line the other day, during lunch rush, and asks "Hey, where's the ham for the hamburgers?". This is after disappearing into the walk-in for like 4 min.

[@rockyevans1584]

​@beautifulstrongman lame joke maybe? Or stoned out of his tree? Or just dumb af? Lol

[@E-A-Z-Y]

Absolutely diabolical

[@KING-KLOWDY]

@@beautifulstrongman How did I miss this for 2 months lol. Your guys didn’t send him to dry storage for a can of steam did ya ? Had a guy I was training on fry ask me why the oil wasn’t boiling if it’s at 350 degrees… bring me the robots please.

[@MK-hw2ir]

@@beautifulstrongmanwhat is CTE?

[@KingC89]

Every parent secretly wants to outlive their children. Tito was just brave enough to say it out loud.

[@waltertupou]

😂😂😂

[@ofon2000]

look up how Tito said something like, "...and of COURSE I wanna outlive my children"@@ominousbagel512

[@nervouspanic5286]

​@ominousbagel512 he's basically saying no one wants to die and titos the only one to admit it

[@phishdough]

@@nervouspanic5286people don’t want to die, sure, but I’m pretty sure the worse thing that could happen to any decent parent is to outlive their child. I don’t think most people want to live through some shit like that.

[@EireannSpeaks]

@@ominousbagel512 My god man you're a dopey fella. The chronicles of Tito have been going on since the early 2000s when did you start watching the sport?

[@db4552]

My favourite Tito quote: "You live and you learn, then hopefully you forget"

[@erikkibler3466]

The secret to his success 😂

[@Samurai-Mendo985]

I always come back to this vid because it just always kills me its always hysterical seeing tito stumble through his life lol

[@maxkelly6664]

“I wanna outlive my children” Tito Ortiz

[@SeanWoodsonsNutritionist]

Of course

[@jdamsel8212]

100%

[@jamesmcdougal2]

We all know Tito is not a wordsmith haha

[@Itscomplicatedaf24]

Not with those onion chopping skills 😂😂

[@Dahn.Baern.]

My old best friends mom outlived 2/3 children, tragically. I don’t think she’s proud of it

[@the1abstrakt]

The way Tito morphed into Wanderlei at 7:27 was fantastic. Truly a talent

[@nakternal]

😂😂😂😂I thought that who it was in the thumbnail

[@Shoegazebasedgenre0.]

what the fuck is Tito doing? looks scary

[@Mumpty-of8je]

It's just a simulation of the speeds a lot of jets go and the forces they put on a person. Not dangerous for the brain long term, it's kinda like being put in a choke temporarily.@@Shoegazebasedgenre0.

[@bebop4874]

Damn good comment

[@deeznutz8320]

​@@Shoegazebasedgenre0.Its a G force machine

[@RollTideRoll_GSP]

Tears running down my face, great way to start my Saturday right here! Who knew Tito would become such a MMA treasure in his later years!😂

[@fergytonuson2723]

God damn I needed that laugh! Number is just an age! 💪🤣

[@Williamkenyon-e8d]

Your laugh is infectious lol😂 makes the video even funnier.

[@shane7103]

Its an absolute rollercoaster listening to Tito talk. He should do his own podcast

[@Fantastic_Six]

"ULTIMATE Sacrifice minimal reward" had me crying, guru churns out this banger of a line after watching this insanely hilarious video

[@basedsoyboy7293]

CTE is the best base for comedy

[@Bob62798]

This is a certified classic from guru

[@HugeChungus]

The fucking lightbulb comment had me in hysterics 😂

[@chadwicklite]

Watching the Guru laugh just makes my day🤣

[@paytonmatthews99]

Nah the “Tito holds the light bulb and somebody underneath him twists Tito” has me cryinggg 🤣🤣🤣

[@masibulelemnguni6554]

Some comments are just wild bro😂

[@JakobFridfinnsson]

Some of the funniest shit I’ve ever heard

[@ericnielsen5441]

Tito holds the bulb and spins the room 😂

[@WestCoastShredders]

Nah bro he holds his hand still and walks in a circle 😂

[@xxjacksparrowxx6742]

Just imagine this bald mf being rotated while holding the bulb, imagine the scene 😂

[@JohnSigz]

My favorite is the one with his fight in the fall but he says it yeah it’ll be in April and he starts training for it in July 😂☠️

[@wazz5009]

By far one of the best mma guru videos of all time video he me in tears the whole time😂

[@CharlesStevenson-x1k]

Tito's stand up really is awesome. He's always in character.

[@joanneee1037]

Theres this 1 clip of him training where he said his training philosophy is, "Go hard and go home". I bursted out lauging when he said that lol

[@chriss2948]

I was never a real Tito fan, and then I saw him on Tuf against Shamrock. My view of him changed completely. I will still argue that he is one of Tuf's best coaches. He was fantastic with his fighters. He has never been able to speak, but he still has my respect after that performance.

[@Mox1990]

he outspoke shamrock during that season and made him look like Tito looks to us. There are levels to CTE

[@KyePietras-pi9lx]

Yeah great coach Also shamrock getting schooled by Tito like wtf 🤣

[@T9K66]

It’s been tough times but this is definitely the hardest I have laughed in a while. Thanks for curating these videos.

[@reesthomson4340]

One of your funniest reactions always come back every so often for a belly bursting !

[@leecolfax1507]

"I think it's about time we start talking about the funny side of CTE". You won me over with that line. I'm gonna watch the video now.

[@BestPropTutorials]

I don’t usually laugh very easily but I laughed so hard out loud watching these😂

[@farazsayyed3900]

I swear I’m dying over here 😂

[@keiraburns7398]

Same 😂😂😂

[@jacobjones7783]

Cured my depression

[@JackieDamschroder]

I’m sure you have such a complex sense of humor

[@jse_illustrations]

the onion part had me crying

[@TAYKHAIYI]

One of my favourite UFC moment of all time is Ken Shamrock saying I'm going to beat you to the living death to Tito Ortiz

[@abrooker55]

😡

[@Benjamin-1776-]

LMAO, same. The whole clip is awesome with Tito's perfectly timed laugh, Dana trying and failing to contain his own laughter, the possessed chair, and of course the spectacle that is borderline retardation level IQ combined with Shamrock's CTE and having less than zero points put into charisma it is all just amazing. Off to go watch it again it never disappoints.

[@infiad1275]

@@Benjamin-1776- That's a perfect description!

[@joennejordbaer]

This is seriously funny! Thank you for bringing these moments to us.

[@SMK--]

This video is timeless guru. Tears in my eyes every time i rewatch this 😂😂😂

[@FakeGyllenhaal]

03:24 gotta love Chuck frantically looking around "is anyone else hearing this guy or is it just me?"

[@danielstrother2494]

I can’t stop laughing over that. He thought he lost time again and missed a bunch of the conversation. It’s exactly like when I fake throw the ball to my wiener dog. 😂😂😂

[@AUZlE]

You post 1-2 videos a month that are just laugh factories and part of it is that you just have an infectious laugh due to it being genuine, you don’t falsify your emotion and so it always hits 10/10.

[@designingtheenemy5869]

I think Tito is always in that "be/say motivational stuff all the time" mindset and that he's literally speaking whole sentences without thinking what he's saying lol. Cte definitely is a factor but some people really are just dopey too. That combined and you get Tito lol. One of the cooler more coherent things he's said was that cheap Jackal story and chael instantly ruined it for him by talking about his pstar baby mama.

[@NotKD35]

The fact he posted that onion cutting tutorial after he cut himself is hilarious and insane

[@imnotoopinionated]

You are a gem. I cried laughing with my wife on this one.

[@julius2790]

Guru you are a jewel. This was so incredibly funny.

[@hockthebest]

I though we're gonna starve of Guru's content during UFC off week and boom, a video about Tito Ortiz!!!

[@k.c.r.5974]

This video took a turn for the worse when you got to the g force simulator and paused it on his face like that. I was semi amused up until that point because ive seen all these but once that part of the video hits I was dying laughing...and it just goes down hill from there my stomach hurts from laughing so hard

[@tendies9248]

I lost it when he said he went from 0 to Steve harvey

[@davvsalbum1304]

This killed me 😂 thanks for the laugh...

[@jonvia]

Reminds me of Michael Scott from The Office always mixing and matching different catch phrases

[@skewsto]

I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time 😂

[@Saygoodnightfight]

I’m proud of Tito for having so much CTE that he gets KO’d by gravity itself. Not many people can achieve goals as high as those

[@XplicitTruth444]

i mean... you could fall down and hit your head and get knocked out lol boom gravity... do you "people" even think before you speak? fuck.. FUUUCKKK.

[@Eventual-Visitor]

He went to 9G's which means almost everybody would've lost conscience. Actually he recovered almost instantly, most people would take a bit longer.

[@GrandpasRevenge43]

Tell me you don't understand G-force without telling me you don't understand G-force lol

[@hiraether6209]

Can't get KO'd by something that doesn't exist ;)

[@abaddon130]

​@@hiraether6209bro is brain dead :0

[@IamChaChaCHNNL]

Tried so hard and was proud of myself for keeping my composure for so long (4 minutes). However “right hook to the body” was my breaking point. I can no longer breathe

[@steelier6107]

It’s my favorite because it’s so short and simple😭😭. Can’t even tell his lefts and rights

[@seanmcclure]

“ I’ve been fighting MMA for 10 years, and for about five years I’ve been fighting, but two years out of that one year I was training.”

[@anthonyhewitt9397]

😂 the title of this video

[@Pxstran]

I literally woke up in the middle of the night . It’s 5 Am I tried to put on a guru video to go to sleep to, I’ve been laughing throughout the entire video and I cannot sleep now. Thanks guru

[@codycox2465]

Same here lmao

[@LucasR013]

“I want to out live the MMA guru” -Tito Ortiz

[@XplicitTruth444]

i mean the dude is as obese as they come so that wont be hard to achieve lol

[@thatindiandude4602]

Looking at the BMI not a hard achievement IMO.

[@danielduncan6370]

Anytime I need a light I watch Tito videos. The only thing that can make me consistently laugh out loud

[@cosmic_JAV]

I think you may have Tito'd that sentence

[@grimeztwoeleven]

seeing you being so enthused of tito being an idiot is contagious i can't stop laughing shit is hilarious

[@prod.byroom1219]

Bro I found Pantheon Level Cluelessness a couple months back and literally watched every tito ortiz clip on the channel. Hes the gift that keeps on giving

[@Leatherhead4Hire]

Goddamn..anytime i need to clear my head after or during tumultuous times i go thru the Tito vids and it never fails to get me to literally laugh out loud. Like real loud and hard! His cameo video is tops!!

[@scottrobertson9788]

Holy shit, you had me rolling laughing! I mean Tito’s a funny fucker but your reaction is hilarious!

[@m.g.3913]

Props to Tito for making me die with laughter this many times. It doesn't happen that often to me.

[@UFCPhan]

Tito breaking new ground in the g-force machine, non-contact CTE edit: holy fuck that lightbulb joke lmao

[@Elimstjohn]

Bro I can't stop rethinking about it and laughing so hard that I cry.

[@UnTropical]

This made me like Tito. This is actually hilarious 😆 😂😂

[@joeybplasticrehab5578]

And I thought Ken Shamrock ☘️ was an idiot 🧐boy was I wrong

[@jakes1881]

I’ve seen the effects of head trauma first hand with family and it’s really one of the hardest and saddest things to see someone go through. But I’d be lying if I said there’s never a moment where it can be fucking hilarious.

[@kaydencoster763]

i come back to this video whenever i need to cry laughing

[@BazookaTooth707]

"There's blood on his onion." 😂

[@Brosabroads]

The onion cutting tutorial is tops for me. Sooo funny

[@jamesforbesw]

As a Black American, I don’t even get mad at him lol I’m laughing so bad 😂

[@Researchthejoos]

Then why do your people always cry victim Your African not American Americans are white

[@DeuceDropper927]

As a Black Chinese, I don't eben getu madu ata himu ror I'm raffing so bad

[@N.A.M.S.]

As a fellow black american i have diabetes. thank you.

[@itsSoaren]

As a Native American, my people won’t be here to agree with my sentiments on this video because all of my ancestors are dead

[@JadonCrabtree]

​@@itsSoarenthere's one left boys, let's go.

[@BrandonPTravels]

The blood on the onion actually made me verbally laugh😂😂😂😂

[@Cp_9900]

I think you just mean laugh

[@BARBARYAN.]

Bro it covered the onion I lost it

[@GhastlyCretin]

This is exactly like something Tito himself would say. Amazing.

[@BrandonPTravels]

@@GhastlyCretin fuck 😂

[@dyyylllaannn]

i think you mean audibly

[@RoZay442]

I love the no UFC weekend guru content😂😂😂

[@AlfiekennedyMMA]

These videos are timeless, you’re giving me endless laughs here mate. I love it 🙏🏽keep doing you bro

[@brianhildreth9099]

I haven't laughed this hard in a LONG time. Thank you brother!!!

[@lawrencehackett6479]

Was having a super normal night, until I went downstairs to quietly get me a bowl of cereal without waking anybody up.. started watching this video & 5 minutes later I'm covered head to toe in milk/captain crunch because I laughed so hard mid bite I choked, tried to panick wrestle the bowl to the counter without dropping it, didn't. Bowl hits the ground. Everybody woke up. The visual is me covered in milk, uncontrollably laughing while choking watching This f*ckin guy talking about how he's never felt better while also mentioning how his body hasn't matured well.. because his dad's 80 & his grandmother's 100.. This video was well worth the choke

[@constantineiordanidis4334]

Next time get some cheese and wine with your captain crunch thank me later dude

[@Mookguy]

Keep reaching for those grapes buddy

[@sethsolopow3226]

careful choking on cereal if you wanna outlive your children like Tito

[@jbuzzo1]

Fuck dude, great comment, hilarious 😂😂

[@BARBARYAN.]

I’m stoned right now and that’s the best story I’ve ever related to

[@DJK6914]

Guru looks like he rolled a fat blunt and decided to make this video! This is great! I'm crying in laughter and my wife is confused 🤣🤣🤣

[@allenfrench8734]

I haven’t laughed that hard in long time 😂

[@ColdGold24k]

This is the best compilation video ever.

[@michaelmoran8780]

Tank Abbott was hilarious on Rampage Jackson's podcast 🤣 all kinds of Tito jokes I'd definitely recommend watching, Tank had my stomach hurting FR 🤣

[@benmcreynolds8581]

Dude lol 😆 Your laugh & reactions are so contagious. This reminds me of the "Late stoppages video" lol 😆

[@alexdiaz3311]

I was dying laughing, but also man the way tito opens containers is actually top tier. I had to go around my kitchen and try it out, too good.

[@ChipsNGravy]

Mate please make this a weekly thing. The dopamine hits off of just laughing at you laughing at shit is too good 😂 Ken Shamrock would be a good one lol

[@StareATheWall]

Your laugh is contagious my guy.

[@keithalcibiade3126]

This guy narratiting made it so funny. First time iv seen him just subscribed. I needed that laugh thats brother

[@nedlead85]

I've already seen a bunch of these Tito video's and I can't help but be convinced that Tito is just trolling everyone.

[@Kyle-m8b7l]

Dude I’m LITERALLY crying in laughter

[@TheBigKahuna3000]

Your laughter is also very Contagious Guru 😂

[@metalkicker23]

Dude you always bring me up when im down 7:30 had me crying

[@MjBurns88]

I just stopped wrestling after 18 years I watched this planning on being scared...... I'm so ashamed that I must have laughed harder than I've laughed in about 5 years😂😂😂

[@Nathan-qq3kv]

The onion cutting technique is almost the same as one used by street vendors in India mainly. But Tito somehow managed to still do it wrong

[@thatindiandude4602]

Yes. But Tito Ortiz forgot to add the gastroenteritis because that's a crucial ingredient

[@Eventual-Visitor]

@@thatindiandude4602 Well, that juiced up blood of his permeating the onion might just do the trick.

[@tylerhoffmann47]

Tito should write comedy dialogue literally just by streaming his consciousness into a script. This is gold.