Does Tito Ortiz PROVE That CTE Is Funny? I'm Dying Of Laughter!

[@the-mma-guru]

We really need to change the narrative on CTE being all doom and gloom. Tito Ortiz is helping us lead the charge.

[@WhosJoeMMA]

Just went for a night run on the levy. Saw a massive rod-shaped green light appear to my right in the distance, then disappear and I couldn’t see the source. Scared shitless. Ran to my car and drove home. Here I am calming down, thx Guru 😭

[@WhiteAngel888]

CTE is never funny

[@Bluis5445]

You have a very large forehead. You have the Vegeta hairline.

[@sweetpeagrayble5858]

An important issue, to be sure, but how is everybody's o-ring after watching this?

[@FinnMMA]

Sadly for Gaethje it already looks like hes on the retarded like CTE way. Even Sean Strickland said that Gaethje has crazy CTE and that he could tell that here is not much left and if Strickland says that shit it means something 😂😂

[@SwampOperator]

Lol chuck lookin around at everyone to make sure it wasnt his cte kicking in

[@BOHNTHUGGGZZZ]

😂😂💀💯☝️🙌

[@EliasRoy]

😂😂😂

[@BigClassroomTv]

He’s on coke

[@TheAnimefool]

The idea of titos sentence being so disconnected that it causes Chuck to think he’s having a cte moment himself is hilarious

[@richarddixon1450]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@loopvil369]

it really is

[@Karl_Drogo55]

holy shit im crackin up at this

[@andymcevoy3109]

I’m literally in stitches at this hahahah

[@pauleleven6658]

i will never forget the look on chucks face at that moment

[@davekushner5340]

I’m laying in bed laughing so hard but so quietly, my wife just woke up scared because she thought I was having a seizure.

[@jackreacher2095]

Must of been on that kush you are named after 😂

[@shadyganley8877]

​@@jackreacher2095kush 😂😂😂

[@Itscomplicatedaf24]

That G force clip made me laugh so damn hard 🤣🤣🤣

[@songpizzas5422]

This comment made me lmao. 👏

[@Sergatx]

Holy. I’m doing the same 😂

[@Jay-u5k5f]

"I'm an old mature, I mature oldly. " Wtf🤣🤣🤣

[@burdy707]

i’ve seen that g force clip so many times and i’ve never once realised it was tito and now im laughing even harder

[@ifgwelf]

The look of utmost confidence on Titos face as he's about to deliver the cheese and wine promo, and you can see his brain malfunctioning as it's computing the sentence coming out.

[@flameguy3416]

You're just reaching for those 🍇...

[@rylanlittle261]

Lol

[@Romanus-]

It’s like watching someone do algebra but with the English language. He literally is trying to compute actual speech and is incapable of completing the process

[@harrydavey9884]

His brain is an engine running on Vegemite.

[@ainz2579]

​@@flameguy3416 and the wine is signing like the violin

[@Jeremy-th5pt]

"I train 6 days a week, 5 days a week, I'll train 3 days a week, ONE OF THOSE DAYS I'LL TRAIN 2 DAYS A WEEK" LOL.😂

[@macabre19]

😂

[@sweetswing1]

You're a punk dude

[@aresjerry]

Translation: he trains 6 days a week. 3 times a day, for 5 days. And twice, on one day before his rest day. 😂😅

[@sleevelessace]

@@aresjerry even that LOL there has to be a easier way to explain his training days then what he said or even the translation LOL, translating gibberish makes it a bit better but still insane LMAO

[@Tophiachuuu]

​@@aresjerrymate how you've managed to decipher titonese is impressive.

[@datcrazywhiteboy6205]

"To all my fans ive never let you down until now" Tito Ortiz

[@ezradaiquiri11311]

"And I never will" 😂

[@datcrazywhiteboy6205]

@@ezradaiquiri11311 Please don't ever cut a finger off slicing onions

[@HugoStiglitz88]

You missed the funniest part "and I won't start"

[@HugoStiglitz88]

You got it wrong too. Yall must have CTE

[@speedzonefilms]

@@HugoStiglitz88you missed the even funnier part, behind him it says “the worst will happen”

[@pill1154]

God i cant stop coming back to this video, tito side eyeing chandler is so fucking hilarious

[@L8-APEX]

Tito's dialog is described best by this Michael Scott quote "Sometimes I start a sentence and I have no idea where it's going, I just hope I find it along the way" 😂😂😂

[@truesoulghost2777]

Dont we all?

[@Romanus-]

@@truesoulghost2777not really man lol

[@TheFarthall]

Ain't that a theo von quote

[@heisenb3rg]

“You fans tune in. I never let you down until now.. I won’t start”😭😂😂

[@sleevelessace]

literally something michael scott would say LOL

[@clapdrix72]

​@@sleevelessaceHow does he mix up "yet" with "until now"?? Theyre literally antonyms.

[@joshlife6395]

The onion scene, the cutting, the blood, and the fact he just continues, ignoring the fact he actually cut himself and is bleeding all over the family dinner- had me crying tears of laughter. Thanks guru, that was special.

[@Scheboygan8767]

I’ve never laughed harder at something on KZbin ever, he just kept going 😭

[@esewey1686]

As a chef I know for sure Tito’s finger was stinging like a mf and tiro was trying so hard to play it off

[@jakemitchell1671]

@@esewey1686 LOL! Was it a live stream? If not, surely someone watched it back and had to see the blood on the onion? Why was that just disregarded?? Hahaha....God I laughed until I cried. As a chef, you know his final push absolutely was NOT "good form." It was horrible! And while his choice of knife (machete? lol) wasn't the worst, an 8-10" chef's knife would do SO much better.

[@potatoman57]

@@esewey1686seriously why couldn’t he just re-take the video? Instead just decided to push through the pain?

[@esewey1686]

@@potatoman57 nah seriously 💀💀💀i can’t help but cringe so hard watching this video it’s hilarious. Why did he even upload it in the first place????

[@paytonmatthews99]

Nah the “Tito holds the light bulb and somebody underneath him twists Tito” has me cryinggg 🤣🤣🤣

[@masibulelemnguni6554]

Some comments are just wild bro😂

[@JakobFridfinnsson]

Some of the funniest shit I’ve ever heard

[@ericnielsen5441]

Tito holds the bulb and spins the room 😂

[@WestCoastShredders]

Nah bro he holds his hand still and walks in a circle 😂

[@xxjacksparrowxx6742]

Just imagine this bald mf being rotated while holding the bulb, imagine the scene 😂

[@pollen1253]

Saying stuff like “I’m a gorilla” and “people think I’m African American” 2 sentences apart is diabolical 😭

[@acethegreat3963]

The onion cutting was a rollercoaster! It went from being funny due to his strange technique, to being body horror once he starts bleeding, to drama and suspense at how close he is to completely chopping his finger off, back to humorous when he pretty much insinuates he'd rather bleed cutting an onion than cry, to a feeling of resolution when he finishes cutting the onion with any further damage with respectable technique. We're lucky to still have tito with us after seeing how endangering he is to his own well being just taking on the most mundane day to day tasks.

[@Texmma]

😭😭

[@Mitch189022]

Brendan Schaub is proof that CTE isn’t always funny

[@ezradaiquiri11311]

🤣💯

[@heavensubculture]

Idk I think Brendan schaub is funny af not as a comedian but as a cte virtuoso he’s crazy funny

[@ezradaiquiri11311]

@heavensubculture he's so annoying. And I hate how he says, man. Like yeah maan that's so annoying, maaann...🤦. Besides, him and rogan threw eddie bravo under the bus about flat earth all the time, even though Joe knows for a fact we've never been to the moon and all the pictures are fake. It's so stupid.

[@drewdrewson1384]

the gringo poppy and his first spooshel are both masterpieces in the same way the room is

[@Fr6]

​@@drewdrewson1384Drew, you're definitely a spooshel guy.

[@bryanciacco4181]

"You fans tune in, I've never let you down till now.... I won't start!" Is the best Tito quote of all time

[@HugoStiglitz88]

Totally agreed. It's funny on so many levels 🤣

[@happentodie8776]

I'm laughing just reading that 😅 brilliant

[@infiad1275]

He's like White Goodman from Dodgeball.

[@maxkelly6664]

“I wanna outlive my children” Tito Ortiz

[@SeanWoodsonsNutritionist]

Of course

[@jdamsel8212]

100%

[@jamesmcdougal2]

We all know Tito is not a wordsmith haha

[@Itscomplicatedaf24]

Not with those onion chopping skills 😂😂

[@Dahn.Baern.]

My old best friends mom outlived 2/3 children, tragically. I don’t think she’s proud of it

[@SpreadAU]

Tito left out what he was training on. “I’m training 6 days a week, 5 days a week cardio, 3 days wrestling….etc etc “ he left out what he was training on 😂😂

[@DreCrimson]

Lmao a classic. Shit had me confused for days

[@EatEatEatRepeat]

7:59 love that he said "created by monkeys" instead of evolved from monkeys. he can't ever be serious. that man is playing wizards chess against us.

[@tambaz2276]

lmao that's what cracked me up too. Created by monkeys lmao

[@kodokami7]

MMA Guru + Tito Oritz = Comedic Gold. One of the funniest video from Guru. Love to see more content like this, something outside of UFC related

[@Noseface]

Tito Ortiz is a content machine. Such a great meme that man is.

[@luiz9672]

We need a person like Tito in the community to make us laugh

[@joeybplasticrehab5578]

Bet he’s awesome at scrabble 🤫

[@jonnhyappleseed7498]

Scrabble is to complex... its about that bingo life

[@jimberry5318]

Your looking at a lightskinned gorilla....... People think I'm African American - tito

[@Bickle121]

“I’m here guys, I will always let you down guys”

[@db4552]

My favourite Tito quote: "You live and you learn, then hopefully you forget"

[@erikkibler3466]

The secret to his success 😂

[@Jaime-eg4eb]

That's deep man

[@BeeRocket2010]

For years & years I swear my boss has only one expression, a frown, never smiled doesn't laugh, mono toned, not interested in making eye contact with life, he has always been suspected of having no soul and described as being a human with no personality. I put this vid on at lunch break and we all saw it happen for the first time...he smiled and laughed!

[@klaus2913]

So he is autistic.. .

[@BeeRocket2010]

@dillonmaclennan1261 beg pardon?

[@samuelordway-nh4oh]

beg pardon yourself and WATCH YOUR TONE BOIIIIIIIIIIIII

[@KING-KLOWDY]

As a professional chef for 20 years. Watching him cut that onion was the funniest shit I've seen in like a really long time lol.

[@beautifulstrongman]

He's one for ya. Buddy comes on line the other day, during lunch rush, and asks "Hey, where's the ham for the hamburgers?". This is after disappearing into the walk-in for like 4 min.

[@rockyevans1584]

​@beautifulstrongman lame joke maybe? Or stoned out of his tree? Or just dumb af? Lol

[@E-A-Z-Y]

Absolutely diabolical

[@KING-KLOWDY]

@@beautifulstrongman How did I miss this for 2 months lol. Your guys didn’t send him to dry storage for a can of steam did ya ? Had a guy I was training on fry ask me why the oil wasn’t boiling if it’s at 350 degrees… bring me the robots please.

[@MK-hw2ir]

@@beautifulstrongmanwhat is CTE?

[@the1abstrakt]

The way Tito morphed into Wanderlei at 7:27 was fantastic. Truly a talent

[@nakternal]

😂😂😂😂I thought that who it was in the thumbnail

[@Mumpty-of8je]

It's just a simulation of the speeds a lot of jets go and the forces they put on a person. Not dangerous for the brain long term, it's kinda like being put in a choke temporarily.@Shoegazebasedgenre0.

[@bebop4874]

Damn good comment

[@deeznutz8320]

​@Shoegazebasedgenre0.Its a G force machine

[@Fantastic_Six]

"ULTIMATE Sacrifice minimal reward" had me crying, guru churns out this banger of a line after watching this insanely hilarious video

[@MooseKnuckle66]

Rewatching this. Just what I needed thanks Tito.

[@Williamkenyon-e8d]

Your laugh is infectious lol😂 makes the video even funnier.

[@RollTideRoll_GSP]

Tears running down my face, great way to start my Saturday right here! Who knew Tito would become such a MMA treasure in his later years!😂

[@joanneee1037]

Theres this 1 clip of him training where he said his training philosophy is, "Go hard and go home". I bursted out lauging when he said that lol

[@chadwicklite]

Watching the Guru laugh just makes my day🤣

[@fergytonuson2723]

God damn I needed that laugh! Number is just an age! 💪🤣

[@NotKD35]

The fact he posted that onion cutting tutorial after he cut himself is hilarious and insane

[@shane7103]

Its an absolute rollercoaster listening to Tito talk. He should do his own podcast

[@BestPropTutorials]

I don’t usually laugh very easily but I laughed so hard out loud watching these😂

[@farazsayyed3900]

I swear I’m dying over here 😂

[@keiraburns7398]

Same 😂😂😂

[@jacobjones7783]

Cured my depression

[@JackieDamschroder]

I’m sure you have such a complex sense of humor

[@jse_illustrations]

the onion part had me crying

[@skewsto]

I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time 😂

[@HugeChungus]

The fucking lightbulb comment had me in hysterics 😂

[@leecolfax]

"I think it's about time we start talking about the funny side of CTE". You won me over with that line. I'm gonna watch the video now.

[@FakeGyllenhaal]

03:24 gotta love Chuck frantically looking around "is anyone else hearing this guy or is it just me?"

[@danielstrother2494]

I can’t stop laughing over that. He thought he lost time again and missed a bunch of the conversation. It’s exactly like when I fake throw the ball to my wiener dog. 😂😂😂

[@LucasR013]

“I want to out live the MMA guru” -Tito Ortiz

[@XplicitTruth444]

i mean the dude is as obese as they come so that wont be hard to achieve lol

[@thatindiandude4602]

Looking at the BMI not a hard achievement IMO.

[@T9K66]

It’s been tough times but this is definitely the hardest I have laughed in a while. Thanks for curating these videos.

[@reesthomson4340]

One of your funniest reactions always come back every so often for a belly bursting !

[@digginupthecarolinas9870]

I'm in bed laughing so hard I was giggling the bed so now my wife's up and we're BOTH CRYING, THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!!!!

[@basedsoyboy7293]

CTE is the best base for comedy

[@JohnSigz]

My favorite is the one with his fight in the fall but he says it yeah it’ll be in April and he starts training for it in July 😂☠️

[@k.c.r.5974]

This video took a turn for the worse when you got to the g force simulator and paused it on his face like that. I was semi amused up until that point because ive seen all these but once that part of the video hits I was dying laughing...and it just goes down hill from there my stomach hurts from laughing so hard

[@tendies9248]

I lost it when he said he went from 0 to Steve harvey

[@Samurai-Mendo985]

I always come back to this vid because it just always kills me its always hysterical seeing tito stumble through his life lol

[@hoodatheist5549]

😂😂😂

[@anthonyhewitt9397]

😂 the title of this video

[@AUZlE]

You post 1-2 videos a month that are just laugh factories and part of it is that you just have an infectious laugh due to it being genuine, you don’t falsify your emotion and so it always hits 10/10.

[@UFCPhan]

Tito breaking new ground in the g-force machine, non-contact CTE edit: holy fuck that lightbulb joke lmao

[@Elimstjohn]

Bro I can't stop rethinking about it and laughing so hard that I cry.

[@BrandonPTravels]

The blood on the onion actually made me verbally laugh😂😂😂😂

[@Cp_9900]

I think you just mean laugh

[@BARBARYAN.]

Bro it covered the onion I lost it

[@GhastlyCretin]

This is exactly like something Tito himself would say. Amazing.

[@BrandonPTravels]

@@GhastlyCretin fuck 😂

[@dyyylllaannn]

i think you mean audibly

[@vinzetti22]

Been watching pantheon for awhile. It's hilarious that it centers around Tito's gaffs hahhaha...... 7:30, Tito do your best Wanderlei

[@grimeztwoeleven]

seeing you being so enthused of tito being an idiot is contagious i can't stop laughing shit is hilarious

[@Saygoodnightfight]

I’m proud of Tito for having so much CTE that he gets KO’d by gravity itself. Not many people can achieve goals as high as those

[@XplicitTruth444]

i mean... you could fall down and hit your head and get knocked out lol boom gravity... do you "people" even think before you speak? fuck.. FUUUCKKK.

[@Eventual-Visitor]

He went to 9G's which means almost everybody would've lost conscience. Actually he recovered almost instantly, most people would take a bit longer.

[@GrandpasRevenge43]

Tell me you don't understand G-force without telling me you don't understand G-force lol

[@hiraether6209]

Can't get KO'd by something that doesn't exist ;)

[@abaddon130]

​@@hiraether6209bro is brain dead :0

[@julius2790]

Guru you are a jewel. This was so incredibly funny.

[@DJK6914]

Guru looks like he rolled a fat blunt and decided to make this video! This is great! I'm crying in laughter and my wife is confused 🤣🤣🤣

[@JayTeeAyy]

You know it’s bad when Chuck is like “wtf is this guy saying?”

[@TheRuneCollector]

This is the greatest guru video of all time😂

[@chriss2948]

I was never a real Tito fan, and then I saw him on Tuf against Shamrock. My view of him changed completely. I will still argue that he is one of Tuf's best coaches. He was fantastic with his fighters. He has never been able to speak, but he still has my respect after that performance.

[@Mox1990]

he outspoke shamrock during that season and made him look like Tito looks to us. There are levels to CTE

[@KyePietras-pi9lx]

Yeah great coach Also shamrock getting schooled by Tito like wtf 🤣

[@Leatherhead4Hire]

Goddamn..anytime i need to clear my head after or during tumultuous times i go thru the Tito vids and it never fails to get me to literally laugh out loud. Like real loud and hard! His cameo video is tops!!

[@designingtheenemy5869]

I think Tito is always in that "be/say motivational stuff all the time" mindset and that he's literally speaking whole sentences without thinking what he's saying lol. Cte definitely is a factor but some people really are just dopey too. That combined and you get Tito lol. One of the cooler more coherent things he's said was that cheap Jackal story and chael instantly ruined it for him by talking about his pstar baby mama.

[@michaelmoran8780]

Tank Abbott was hilarious on Rampage Jackson's podcast 🤣 all kinds of Tito jokes I'd definitely recommend watching, Tank had my stomach hurting FR 🤣

[@davvsalbum1304]

This killed me 😂 thanks for the laugh...

[@Pxstran]

I literally woke up in the middle of the night . It’s 5 Am I tried to put on a guru video to go to sleep to, I’ve been laughing throughout the entire video and I cannot sleep now. Thanks guru

[@codycox2465]

Same here lmao

[@seanmcclure]

“ I’ve been fighting MMA for 10 years, and for about five years I’ve been fighting, but two years out of that one year I was training.”

[@jonvia]

Reminds me of Michael Scott from The Office always mixing and matching different catch phrases

[@lawrencehackett6479]

Was having a super normal night, until I went downstairs to quietly get me a bowl of cereal without waking anybody up.. started watching this video & 5 minutes later I'm covered head to toe in milk/captain crunch because I laughed so hard mid bite I choked, tried to panick wrestle the bowl to the counter without dropping it, didn't. Bowl hits the ground. Everybody woke up. The visual is me covered in milk, uncontrollably laughing while choking watching This f*ckin guy talking about how he's never felt better while also mentioning how his body hasn't matured well.. because his dad's 80 & his grandmother's 100.. This video was well worth the choke

[@constantineiordanidis4334]

Next time get some cheese and wine with your captain crunch thank me later dude

[@Mookguy]

Keep reaching for those grapes buddy

[@sethsolopow3226]

careful choking on cereal if you wanna outlive your children like Tito

[@jbuzzo1]

Fuck dude, great comment, hilarious 😂😂

[@BARBARYAN.]

I’m stoned right now and that’s the best story I’ve ever related to

[@allenfrench8734]

I haven’t laughed that hard in long time 😂

[@scottrobertson9788]

Holy shit, you had me rolling laughing! I mean Tito’s a funny fucker but your reaction is hilarious!

[@Bumbaclartios]

“It worked. At the cost of his family’s health it worked” I cannot breathe man

[@k45207]

3:28 chuck lidells face right here 😂😂😂 staring at the host like “this is your fault”

[@hockthebest]

I though we're gonna starve of Guru's content during UFC off week and boom, a video about Tito Ortiz!!!

[@zvsmith2008]

Tito don’t have CTE …😂😂😂😂 He has S-T-U-P-I-D…. That a lifetime afflication😂😂😂😂

[@thomasmacdonough288]

Tito actually kind of a tank though to get clipped by a knife, get his wound covered in onion juice, but keep recording like nothing happened 😂

[@robwrone]

10:22 Tito hoping Chandler and his adopted sons didn't see the clip of him implying black people are gorillas 😂😂😂

[@craigrock8444]

No Tito holds the light bulb and has people turn the whole fucking house!!!😂

[@Greg-ys2gy]

Lmao

[@Texmma]

😭😭🤣

[@IamChaChaCHNNL]

Tried so hard and was proud of myself for keeping my composure for so long (4 minutes). However “right hook to the body” was my breaking point. I can no longer breathe

[@steelier6107]

It’s my favorite because it’s so short and simple😭😭. Can’t even tell his lefts and rights

[@alexdiaz3311]

I was dying laughing, but also man the way tito opens containers is actually top tier. I had to go around my kitchen and try it out, too good.

[@ChipsNGravy]

Mate please make this a weekly thing. The dopamine hits off of just laughing at you laughing at shit is too good 😂 Ken Shamrock would be a good one lol

[@CharlesStevenson-x1k]

Tito's stand up really is awesome. He's always in character.

[@canadat4380]

At work and cant even listen to this laugh way to much. The face he made from the g force similator had me laughing my ass off

[@prod.byroom1219]

Bro I found Pantheon Level Cluelessness a couple months back and literally watched every tito ortiz clip on the channel. Hes the gift that keeps on giving

[@benmcreynolds8581]

Dude lol 😆 Your laugh & reactions are so contagious. This reminds me of the "Late stoppages video" lol 😆

[@JohnSigz]

This channel is so good that me and my friend literally quite Tito all the time I think I’m losing brain cells 😂

[@John-eh6jg]

4:13 your line of "chucks got that CTE as well" had me absolutely rolling laughing hahahaha bug chuck got mind f**ked so hard . He's thinking to himself " I don't understand what he's saying . Is it me? Let me look at the hosts to see if they are confused also" and 7:21 "just turns to Steve Harvey in an instant " hahaha dude your reactions make this video even better

[@Jimboslice35]

I nearly died several times watching this 😂

[@tylerhoffmann47]

Tito should write comedy dialogue literally just by streaming his consciousness into a script. This is gold.

[@jakes1881]

I’ve seen the effects of head trauma first hand with family and it’s really one of the hardest and saddest things to see someone go through. But I’d be lying if I said there’s never a moment where it can be fucking hilarious.

[@jamesforbesw]

As a Black American, I don’t even get mad at him lol I’m laughing so bad 😂

[@Researchthejoos]

Then why do your people always cry victim Your African not American Americans are white

[@DeuceDropper927]

As a Black Chinese, I don't eben getu madu ata himu ror I'm raffing so bad

[@N.A.M.S.]

As a fellow black american i have diabetes. thank you.

[@SoarenBeats]

As a Native American, my people won’t be here to agree with my sentiments on this video because all of my ancestors are dead

[@JadonCrabtree]

​@@SoarenBeatsthere's one left boys, let's go.

[@michaelbeatty4475]

I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe at "I haven't let you down until now"

[@Jay-u5k5f]

Tito "I'm an old mature." Chuvk Lidell looks around like wtf?🤣

[@RoZay442]

I love the no UFC weekend guru content😂😂😂

[@UnTropical]

This made me like Tito. This is actually hilarious 😆 😂😂

[@joeybplasticrehab5578]

And I thought Ken Shamrock ☘️ was an idiot 🧐boy was I wrong

[@nedlead85]

I've already seen a bunch of these Tito video's and I can't help but be convinced that Tito is just trolling everyone.

[@jon590]

"He's reaching for - he's reaching for those grapes. He's trying to make his wine, and the wine's already soundin' like a violin with that cheese and wine." 🍇 🧀 🍷 🎻

[@bubbakushii]

Lol when the laughing starts to hurt you know it’s another level of funny.

[@jaykwonzzz]

Tito is like those old AI images, where the nose, ears, and mouth were all present but all in the wrong place.