Don't Fall For It!: Why It's Impossible To Be An XYs Peace

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My name is Imani Forester author of the book "30 Reasons Why Men Deserve Nothing." On this channel we're passionate about decentering and opting out of the oppressive social systems that harm women, kids and families. I'm all for women centering themselves, loving themselves, learning to have standards and boundaries, and creating healthy relationships with others - both romantic and platonic. Let's get the discussion popping in the comments. Please don't forget to Like, Comment and Subscribe if you enjoy the content!
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[@nataliabusko1432]

When men say “be my piece” they mean “stop holding me accountable”. Period.

[@EC-yl7xk]

@@nataliabusko1432 nailed it.

[@olikah4667]

Men don’t like accountability, responsibility or effort.

[@nofybn7794]

So true

[@bea_ramm]

A man will only be able to enter my life if he brings me peace, respect, stability, protection and life improvement. Not the other way around!

[@kimcham9949]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@nuhwe]

🎯

[@SuperGlue4321]

Stability and protection is something you can get from them. Coz people are willing to sell their dignity for this. But if you want peace and most importantly respect, I am sorry, even if God tells me a man can respect women, I won’t believe that crap. Men are just not that type of creatures. They will say everything that makes you work for them, that’s all it is. All that other complex stuff is not in their programming.

[@justinebailey5333]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@kokopuffs1986]

Wait for it......they are disagreeable, egotistical, and competitive by nature. You have to use your energy to help them reduce those characteristics for a successful relationship. I can't help him water his yard. I'm watering my own flower bed.

[@Prismatic9008]

The clown face took me out 😂😂 He better go to therapy and find peace within and leave me tf alone 🤷🏾‍♀️ I'm not a charging station.

[@danic9304]

Charging station 🤣

[@heneverforesakesme4038]

@@danic9304 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@LLove-fi9xp]

Iktr

[@saffylllama5609]

YES!! Say it loud. 📢 I AM NOT A CHARGING STATION ⛽.

[@worldadventuretravel]

"I'm not a charging station." ROFLMAOOOOOOO THANK YOU!!!

[@EC-yl7xk]

Men saying they want peace is so selfish, stop sleeping with these fools. Where is her peace, does she get to go out with her friends and check out?

[@coolbreeze5683]

Any man saying this means he wants you to be non-existent, except for when it's booty time. Women have peace all on our own, being ourselves and existing in our own light. Men take away our peace when they enter our lives.

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

He likes the peace he feels over at his friend's house, where he's a guest... Nothing is expected of him....

[@Louise-u3w]

Let him move in with one of his mate, who will then be the only one to do the cleaning and cooking and see how long that peace peace will last.

[@BashaerB-h2c]

@@Louise-u3w The worst fights are the ones between male roommates. My brother would tell me NIGHTMARES about the hell of living with other adult men. The same games they use with women they use with other men. Weaponized incompetence, laziness, selfishness, you name it. As soon as he had enough money he moved out and found his “peace”.

[@coolbreeze5683]

​​@@BashaerB-h2c and they call it "male bonding", which is basically like non-stop hazing.

[@yque4733]

My peace doesn't include a man.

[@justinebailey5333]

Right

[@attitudeproblem6462]

Peace is completely anathema to men. History has taught us that.

[@Vixenette_5923]

Same

[@ichabodcrane9479]

Never again.

[@IntentlyPurposeful]

@@yque4733 same

[@aspyatkova]

"You cannot demand peace from her if all you do is bring her chaos"

[@Love_Crafts_HP]

I’m the one who needs peace.

[@kimcham9949]

Especially when a man insists on constantly creating chaos. 🙄😒

[@shaolinqueen3684]

Message!

[@TheArtPaige]

I'm not being his peace or a pick-me.

[@mama-nono3652]

LMAO. Clowny sister had me there for a minute until the ending. Great satire.

[@peachesandpoets]

Haha I was like what in Sam Hill hell?! I believed it until the stds haha

[@danic9304]

I started to wonder when the nose was red

[@magicmantis]

Me too! I was listening while driving, I was coming to speak on her until I saw your comment. I had to go back and watch again, the visual makes a big difference! 😅🤣🤣🤣

[@someusername4129]

Truly had me in the first half and I was like girl be frfr

[@heneverforesakesme4038]

me too...I was like...girlfriend...you are seriously needing a loading dose of geodon

[@evabaucham9684]

I’m not responsible for a man’s peace. He needs to be at peace with himself. If he’s done something that angers me, he will hear about it from me. I’m not keeping it to myself. I absolutely will not be held responsible for a grown man’s emotions.

[@elvinrichard5882]

People have to self reflect, peace comes from within.

[@vikki8699]

Exactly! ❤

[@mrsali254]

"You're waging war with your actions and requesting peace with your words." Realest way to describe crazy making behavior

[@belle8i]

Mine took away my peace. I had peace until he showed up.

[@tracyc4944]

Same here

[@yesitsthattime]

You can take it back

[@Nwakaego_]

I hope you took your peace back from him.

[@tracyc4944]

@@Nwakaego_ I’m in the process of taking it back for sure. I’ve been challenging him to be a better person in all ways and it honestly depleted me. I’m not building him up anymore.

[@Nwakaego_]

@@tracyc4944I hope you take it back and build you up instead.

[@Starcvalentine]

Give him his peace by leaving him tf alone! LOL Let'em be with his homies fulltime! 😂

[@emmanuelleschultze6095]

A saying goes "How can you expect the other person to be your calm seas (serene, peace, chill) when you're the shipwreck". Someone who is emotionally dysregulated and dysfunctional will bleed on most if not all their relationships (personal and professional), wanting and expecting the other person (their partner) to be able to regulate them. So they do not have to do the work themselves, leading to an unhealthy and uneven relationship dynamic.

[@danic9304]

So true

[@unicorn73212]

Yeah your right I actually contacted an attorney yesterday about my ex of course you have to pay to get advice from them but I'm glad I found out that someone that's on a lease as an occupant can't be evicted. Don't be his peace there ask a professional sometimes a lawyer knows exactly what to do with a bum you would think he wouldn't be on your side but now that I know I cant get evicted if he squats on the property I decided to go ahead and let him sit there if he wants to keep wasting time. So if this ever happens to you were the relationship is becoming a liability to your credit and he's becoming abusive call your landlord and tell them he took a swing at you they will remove you from the lease early and by the time he gets the notice in the mail to move you can bail on him and go get a hotel because he will be the only one liable for the rent.

[@2stayweird]

Yep, this is my ex. He successfully alienates every woman who cares about him, except for his mother-- who accepts HIS abusive behavior bc she feels guilty about how SHE was abusive to him as a child. He won't heal his mother wound or childhood trauma. He expects everyone else to contort themselves to accommodate him. His sister and I both had to draw a boundary, which caused him to not want to speak to either of us anymore.

[@nikkilong7377]

Don't do it. My late husband started saying you're supposed to be my peace when I would bring his actions and/or my feelings. I realized the peace is jjst allow them to do what they want and say nothing about it no matter how much it hurts you.

[@misslady5029]

💯

[@aspyatkova]

Exactly. AND never ask for anything. That's the peace for them

[@lala5061]

💯

[@Myaa1980]

Late husband?

[@danic9304]

Nobody can be another person's peace. You have to foster that in yourself. And sometimes peace is an entirely inappropriate state of mind

[@babou5694]

You can never bring another human being peace. The peace has to be within one self .

[@alwaysyouramanda]

He won’t be your peace when he comes home complaining about work. He won’t be your peace when he “needs to give the female manager his phone number” despite them using their own apps.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

He won’t be your peace when you’re itchy

[@ceruleanwonder]

My ex would constantly tell me how upset he was with various dudes in his “lifelong” friend group to which I’d respond “why don’t you talk to them?” He blew me off every time and treated me like I was crazy for even suggesting it. Now I understand why.

[@meangreen6044]

They fear if they talk to other males the males will laugh at them like how they laugh and treat women when they want to talk about a problem

[@smc8417]

That lady at the beginning of the video was seriously scaring me till she completed her clown suit and said she gotta clock in for work 😂😂

[@Ice-ha2467]

How can someone who is not peaceful ask for peace? Give out what you want to receive

[@alexnightray3204]

"Be my peace" might as well be equivalent to "co-sign a loan with me". If one needs to ask you to co-sign a loan, he/she/they can't get a loan on their own as they have terrible credit. If they default, you're stuck with the debt, draining your financial, emotional and mental resources. Likewise, if a man is asking you to be his peace, he ha no peace an need someone to sort him out. You as a woman will give and give and give without getting anything in return from this kind of man, and you'll be left with an emotional and mental deficit. Just don't do it. Walk away.

[@kiterafrey]

That first girl had me going until the clown hair LOL

[@tracywest2065]

Omg I thought the first lady was being serious. LMAO Hilarious!

[@Greenplanet949]

Thank you to the gentleman saying don’t be his peace. My husband created constant drama, even when no one was talking to him. If nothing was happening, he’d start something. He’s gone and now I have peace.

[@IntentlyPurposeful]

I'm not being in ANYONE'S life, let alone their peace. Especially if they are CHAOS. NO ONE.

[@BigNoe-u7u]

He calls his friends his peace bc he's sleeping with them. He's DL.

[@lewid019]

It could also be because he has no responsibility.

[@meangreen6044]

Yep a lot of them prefer being around males and hate women because they want to be able to sleep with men and be taken care of like some women are

[@Emptytopfloor]

How about I give him chaos? 😂

[@daasocialninja4804]

Why we must be their peace why we must always give why they can’t give anything ? What kind of stupid relationship is this where u can demand for peace like a dumbass but don’t provide peace ur self to the women in ur life? They don’t need peace men need to go be peace with each other.

[@amac9443]

I think of the movie Moana. It illustrated it perfectly...Te Fiti and Ta ka. The same divine being. Te Fiti was mother earth.. peaceful, nurturing, calm....When Maui stole her heart she turned into Ta ka... Wrecking everything!!!! lol

[@shalandaclarke2303]

That first girl got me 😂

[@missalice557]

"Be a menace today!" should be on a billboard and will definitely be on my tombstone.

[@misslady5029]

A tee shirt, too 😂😂😂!!!!

[@LoveAndSnapple]

😂😂😂

[@ichabodcrane9479]

Damn lady in the grey jumper left no crumbs. 💯

[@yellaninpoppin9919]

The Anime guy is sharing oxytocin and serotonin with his friends in fantasy Anime land. At home, his partner most likely lives in reality, needs help from him, and needs his support so he can't fantasize 24/7, check out watching Anime for hours, and needs him to do some ish or stop doing some ish. He's probably stressing her out which is not giving him peace. A Woman will be peaceful in a relationship naturally if she's receiving it.

[@RT22444]

“A MAN CANNOT EXPECT PEACE FROM A WOMAN HES MADE MISERABLE” 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ STOP CREATING A BAD ENVIRONMENT THEN COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR ENVIRONMENT AND BLAMING OTHERS FOR THE ENVIRONMENT YOU MADE

[@missalice557]

The first one almost had me smashing my phone till I saw the end😂

[@Redberylprincess]

That first lady was leaving me in shock till I saw the end of her video 😂. Pheww 😅😂😂😫😂😂.

[@shaolinqueen3684]

I get aggy real quick with adults who annoy me. Men will quickly irritate me. I refuse to be a mans peace when he is the one who is usually disruptive. The way my temper is set up, it gets old real quick and I'll become his destruction.

[@amilllion1]

Same, the older I get the less I can tolerate losers

[@Louise-u3w]

"Be my fleece" aka doormat

[@PastorRU762]

The guy giving advice in the beginning is absolutely right ❤ this is the place I'm in and I won't ever deviate from it

[@bunneywolf]

That 1st one took me out. Not the clown wig 😂😂

[@teagoldleaf4137]

This channel is the best therapy 🙌

[@tarahill308]

Trying to be someone’s peace, Will have you being more chaoticn it will be a bottle up pressure stress to yourself.

[@reginayfavors]

Allow your man to cheat in peace, but you as a woman must take accountability for fussing with him about not taking out the trash? What I'm not going to do on my healing journey is continue to tolerate even women like the first one. If you have a friend girl who believes that letting a man cheat is being his peace, break up with that friendship because she will be the woman who cheats with your man AND also tell you to let him cheat in peace. Nope!

[@tearajones1143]

Well, I am pretty sure you figured out the first woman was doing satire while she turned into a clown. She wasn't serious about those things. It was supposed to be funny. 😮

[@reginayfavors]

@@tearajones1143 I know.

[@kiasunray]

I told my narc ex to be my peace and not my problem. I’m single😂😂

[@ebonylo.]

😂

[@worldadventuretravel]

I swear to God, if I ever get lonely with the cats I already have I'll go out and get more cats before I get a man! 😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹

[@BigBiteDoughnut]

Say you are a pickme with out saying you're a pickme

[@ingridyau3012]

5:03 Only shallow guys appreciate shallow friendships and ignore the "invisible labor" their SO does. Unfortunately many guys are shallow. I'm sooo done with guys.

[@NDAsDontCoverIllegalActs]

I'm against sacrificing myself for another when that other is abusive. I don't volunteer as tribute.

[@shawnlove4502]

Any time I've been the most peaceful they brought hell to my life. Literally it's insane. They don't want peace at all.

[@angelawilliams9088]

😂😂😂 The woman who was applying her makeup while sounding like a fool about men and their relationships with women. I didn't know that she was making herself a clown! 😂 Made my day!

[@crookedfingersgirl7356]

Fell for it. Late 30s thought older meant possibly wiser and truthful. Took till mid forties, cause... Albeit not AS toxic and harmful as teens early twenties.... Just as robbing of my joy, my self, my interests, time, and any bourgeoning interests I've one by one.... Given up on.... Started praying... I'm sad and lonely but I'm not going to live like this,,.... I love him. I love my peace and joy more.

[@AshaSelfsDemoFilms]

First women was a good actor, I was concerned until the nose😏

[@Ashleycycle]

Because they’re on the down low

[@littlelizzymamaliz]

4.7k views & 4.7k followers Damn girl! 🎉🎉🎉

[@Golden.Delight]

17:18 the church started it.

[@MarjorieParaison]

Love my clown boo lmaoooo

[@lbfaith]

The first was being sarcastic right?😂😂

[@firandcurly84]

Yes that's why the clown face

[@lewid019]

Yep😂

[@Vixenette_5923]

Never being his peace since most don't have peace (they don't know what Peace is) , they are draining (relative or boyfriend) run like a track star away from these people Let them be GAY

[@JellieJoShmo]

Bro, are you not at peace? Why do you need me for that? I’m most at peace by myself. Cannot relate oof

[@breezluize3282]

These guys comparing their woman to their buddies is like comparing that father who only sees you on holidays every other year to the full time mother parent who has raised you alone your whole life. Men always want to be little boys who make the wrong people heros.

[@juliana15yu]

These men need to find god . They are out there thinking their peace has to come from the outside . I feel sorry for them

[@user-rj1vj5wk9f]

I saw the make up turning into a clown lol

[@ImaniForester]

🤭😭😭

[@olikah4667]

1:44 😂😂😂she’s hilarious

[@BeautiifulliMade]

Haaaaaaaaaaa😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 not the rainbow wig😂😂😂😂😂

[@ScissorN]

Can someone please tell me why this people are now called XYs🤔 what did i miss😂

[@Userinterfaceexperience]

Skipped "males" and went right to the chromosomes

[@Esme26433]

Xy is the gender chromosome

[@ElaineLoyd]

The girl with the clown wig was right. She was joking but that's what they mean.

[@mimi42428]

The first lady 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@merhona3472]

The clown lady...big audible LOL. I watched her, listened to her and still got took out with the clown wig! She is too funny. Men do not have peace with their freinds. They have no accountability with their freinds. They go out of their way to fit in with their friends, change the way they think to accomodate bad behavior, even illegal behaviour would be supported, spend money that they would question never let their wives spend, cover for the cheater freinds, excuse bad fathers, all to keep the macho glances of their buddies, they support each others delicate egos. But thats only when it is working, cause when it goes bad thats when those same freinds will come for their wives, and daughters to put him in his place.

[@lillybilly9954]

King Brujo!

[@breezluize3282]

These men on these videos better start advising their friends instead of advising us. We're good over here.

[@Divinemedicine11]

That first video took me out

[@nekea93]

😂😂😂😂 she said be the victim 😂😂😂😂😂😂 how did we get this stupid as a society

[@batelshimoni1078]

14:48 Spot on

[@Victoria-nl3zx]

I believe that man, but it's not and has not been men from just now

[@raichutoyou]

16:54 OOh girl! Bring that voice like butter! 💛

[@Guiltyangel605]

🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

[@justhereforagoodtime88]

PLEASE SHOW COWBOY

[@laboucher]

"XY" is not the best way to describe cis-het men. Chromosomal biology is very complex in that sex does not always correlate to xx, xy binary.

[@mireyar2040]

I'm seeing Both side being total hypocrites. Both sides want their partners to cater to them, but they themselves don’t want to cater to their partners in return; it's very selfish. I see both sides demonizing each other and it’s sick. i’m sick and tired of seeing all the hate. Both parties should be each others peace. Both sides need to communicate, be in the same financial situations, morally aligned & have respect for each other. Everlasting Love with a partner is a beautiful thing that I pray everyone can obtain. And if you don't want the trouble and heartache that people will go through (some more than others) to get to your person ; then don't attempt it. Life can be suffering, but it also can be rewarding

[@misslady5029]

Well said.......

[@vikki8699]

We are not made to suffer. Thats the problem. I was with you until you said that.

[@Alixir1228]

Excuse me? Us women have given ourselves and catered to men our whole lives like we were trained to, and we are fed up getting nothing in return. Being a pick-me won't work for you. We'll be here when you're ready to come on over.

[@mireyar2040]

@@vikki8699 I said life can be suffering, but it also can be rewarding. Dualism is one of the foundation of our world. To appreciate good you need to experience bad. Of course i’m not saying you should suffer in your relationship. That's crazy. couples need to be morally aligned; they also need to communicate with each other about any problems that come up.

[@mireyar2040]

@@Alixir1228 So, your saying it’s OK to treat men horribly because we were treated horribly in the past? I don't see how that'll solve anything. Your using the term pick-me too loosely.

[@laurahenry3562]

This lady breaking down peace for 5 minutes is the problem,,she’s young an has a lot to learn,,mens peace an womens is different ,do your homework,,as a woman it’s hard to hand with women to long ,they r always talking ,drama ,I have a salon an my lady clients don’t shut up ,I’m like omg ,how an you talk for so long ,I go to gym with guy friends an it’s peace ,it’s not superficial,I’m married 31 years an have a 17 year old boy ,they r both men of few words ,thank god ,,men are of actions ,provisions,,,women are not happy unless there’s a man in the room ,they have no interests of their own unless it’s makeup an shopping ,I’ve seen it my whole life ,that’s why I ski,run hike with men because women are to lazy an if they were to go they would complain,,women stop trying to change men an accept there gifts ,they are not wired like you an you are not wired like them ,they bring home the money so you can be with your kids ,animals get facials an enjoy life ,let them do the work 🙏

[@lewid019]

You sound sus. You're either the cool girl pick me or a dude in disguise 😂

[@esemusic8294]

🤣🤣

[@vikki8699]

Yeah... women have no interests outside of make up. Women can not function in a room without a man present 😂 Yet I know plenty of women who motorcycle, hike, windsurf and see historical landmarks to learn as hobbies. Plus, single child free women are the happiest demographic in society without men. You don't know women at all! Love your projections! Jog on!

[@laurahenry3562]

@@lewid019 no neither , definitely don’t like pu-sy, just mature an see it for what it is , married 31 years for a reason , raised by a dad , 2 brothers, stop trying to make men like u , they are not women, here’s a thought read men are from mars and women are from Venus John grey wrote them , AND no one likes a jealous woman its unbecoming of you 👍

[@laurahenry3562]

@@lewid019 r u projecting? Sounds like you r the one who should look for a girl ,obviously no man has been able to put up with you 😂I am married,31 years 👍good luck to u lol

[@1jazzyphae]

You as a woman, shouldn't have to make him create the correct conditions. A good man will bring these things naturally. If a man doesn't have these qualities on his own....i don't want you.