Don’t Get Married If You Can’t Open Your Heart

Рет қаралды 1,604

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 21

@RG-hf4et 6 ай бұрын

Wow. Hmm. This is a tough one. I feel for the husband. Nobody ever wants to feel second best. A lot of widowed people tend to forget other people have feelings, too. It's not all about them. The husband is never going to forget what she said - never. Most of the time what is said when someone is drunk has been thought of before. The booze just let them blabber their true feelings that they would never say out loud normally.

@DatingaWidower 6 ай бұрын

Grief, if left unchecked, has a way of making widow(er)s selfish.

@johnkeith2450 6 ай бұрын

It's up to the widowed to do the work so that the next spouse doesn't feel second best. Too many widowed don't want to do the work required of them.

@margaretwilkinson8188 6 ай бұрын

It seems to me a key issue here is the broken trust. Taking what he says at face value, about how he felt they were equally invested, I can understand how he would feel betrayed, that she had been hiding this landmine for ten years. I think divorce is probably premature, but her denial of remembering and apology is unlikely to be sufficient to rebuild trust.

@martypendleton9279 6 ай бұрын

Abel -you are absolutely correct. 10 years, 3 children // why throw that all away? Counseling is work - but it’s worth it. I suspect there’s something else going on.

@RG-hf4et 6 ай бұрын

The kids will still be his kids forever. She can go sit & cry in the graveyard bc that's where she belongs, imho. This marriage is just a filler relationship. So many widowed people say I DIDN'T CHOOSE THIS LIFE like I would still be with her if she didn't get sick. We all know that, duh, but many tend to need to make that unnecessary cold comment to the person they are dating. But, they csn say what ever they want & we should just accept anything cold that they say.

@johnkeith2450 5 ай бұрын

@@RG-hf4et No one wants to be the one they are with, only because the one they truly want to be with is dead.....And that is who he is.

@johnkeith2450 5 ай бұрын

"The road of love is narrow - there is room for only one" - Kabir

@midnightblue117 6 ай бұрын

My guess is there was more throughout the years that was leading to that point.

@DatingaWidower 6 ай бұрын

Completely agree! He's looking for an excuse to leave.

@RobinHorton-n6i 6 ай бұрын

This was the straw

@RG-hf4et 6 ай бұрын

@DatingaWidower I don't agree. There could have been other subtle things that she says or does, which makes him feel second. When I dated my widower & we discussed marriage, he was adamant about being buried with the deceased. I said what does that make me?" I will be married to you longer & and I will be taking care of you as you age, yet I'm not good enough/this relationship isn't good enough to be buried together? His answer: the 3 of us can be buried together....lolol. Like hell that will happen. That made me feel like second best. I finally woke up & dumped him for lots of reasons - all related to being widowed.

@johnkeith2450 6 ай бұрын

She is an Alpha Widow. No matter the years of marriage, no matter the children shared. He knows he is with a woman who will always view him as second best.

@nataliesamuelsbuckle4275 6 ай бұрын

It's unfortunate an incident, but it sounds like the husband has some deep, unresolved wounds/ issues of not feeling #1 or prized from childhood or youth. I'd recommend him getting professional psychology counseling. It's amazing the healing that can occur. Also, it is somewhat selfish to destroy the heart and lives of 3 human beings bcz YOU dont feel love in this moment. Children are a gift. Dont wreck them in the process. Do you love your children enough to properly heal and also love them. Love is not a feeling, it's a action word. He hasn't said he's suffering emotional, physical or verbal abuse. I think he might regret this move. Lord, I pray that you would heal the hearts involved, and especially remove the wounds of old which were reopened by a drunk comment. I pray you would remove the coldness or heart and give them your love, your warmth, your peace. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

@DatingaWidower 6 ай бұрын

Definitely some other issues coming into play that we don't know about.

@pinkiebonddesign 6 ай бұрын

Hi, I'm a widow of 4yrs and recently met a widower of 3yrs. We met online for a week now, and today he said he loves me, we talked everyday and he said he is looking for a serious relationship. We haven't met personally yet. Is it too early to get attached to him? We're both 53 yrs old.

@DatingaWidower 6 ай бұрын

If you haven't met him personally, it's too early to get attached.

@dkarukas 6 ай бұрын

I'm 63 and have been a widower for 11 years. I saw this vid yesterday and it has haunted me. I wish I could talk to the guy and convince him to stay. When I first started dating no woman wanted to be the "first." But at my age I didn't want to be in a serious relationship. These two are much younger and have 3 kids in 10 years. I really want to slap him and tell him to get over himself. She was super drunk and we all say stupid crap. When we were much younger, my wife and I partied and in the middle of the night she turned over and smacked me in her sleep. Gave me the only black eye I've ever had. Didn't make her a boxer.

@RG-hf4et 6 ай бұрын

That slap didn't emotional rip your heart out. You can't even compare the two.