Don't Go Outside, It's Too Dangerous

Tim Dillon and Yannis Pappas discuss why America is more interested in Amber Heard v Johnny Depp than the Texas tragedy and why you just shouldn't go outside anymore.
From episode 300: • #300 - A Unique Experi...
Bonus episodes every week: / thetimdillonshow

[@jrmiles5437]

Tim will get progressively lower in his chair every episode until he’s just laying down under the table

[@alo4912]

Reminds me of the episode where he lays in the hotel bed under the covers the whole time

[@CaleCoast]

Absolute dedication to the bit.

[@jamesnavarro3928]

Thats hilarious! Someone needs to make a compilation of tim shrinking like they did with steve wilkos progressivly throwing the chair less and less hard through the years.

[@zackflora6165]

Real "Bean Bag" vibes

[@gwills9337]

I really hope he does that! Lol

[@cjtalksfunny]

Funniest part of the ep 😂 “pedophiles outside the schools with guns”

[@heyitstk]

Nobody loves the kids more 💀

[@dingosmith9932]

@@heyitstk 😂

[@rocky13m]

His advice of not getting too attached to your kids is also great 😭

[@AlexanderKellyespn]

"You can homeschool your kids and you could shoot em" 🤣🤣🤣

[@user-nj1zu2nf1x]

The Johnny Depp trial will absolutely Outlast all these shootings by a mile

[@94LG]

Now that's a long shot

[@irishlad9439]

@@94LG not at all

[@callanc3925]

@@irishlad9439 a mile is definitely a long shot for any hand held weapon

[@mhabyur]

Kinda sad because you are right

[@user-nj1zu2nf1x]

@@94LG it already has lol. The actual shooting in death of the children is old news. Now there's this weird obsession the police and who said what and the investigation. The news cycle has moved on from the dead children aspect. The momentum to change or make laws is also dying

[@tarzz25qwe]

I love how tim dillon doesn't give a fuck, its so refreshing to hear someone say what we're all thinking

[@pleaserewind295]

"Are you gonna ban child death?"

[@toasterchildproductions5117]

Hopefully you’re thinking this with some irony 🤣

[@thecommonsensecapricorn]

Except we’re not all thinking “child death isn’t a big deal” and the recent school shooting isn’t a big deal … love Tim Dillon but that was a really bad take. That shit is heartbreaking and we need to foster a society where it doesn’t happen again. You rarely ever hear about elementary school age children being massacred anywhere else in the world but America.

[@JamesBongo]

@@thecommonsensecapricorn its all fake

[@butternutsauce]

@@thecommonsensecapricorn He was joking my sweet child

[@robbaholic]

Yannis is the best guest, these two are pure gold together 💀

[@jimmyhoward653]

Agreed he's the best guest. Ray Kump is a great guest also but Yannis is the goat.

[@kingozgar1558]

The pig and fig 🔥

[@CatnamedMittens]

They really feed off eat other

[@georgechaplin2925]

Timeless advice. Don’t get so attached Fucking brilliant 😂

[@Forreal950]

🤣🤣🤣

[@MTNJOHN]

Amber Heard’s impending second act as a “Yacht Girl” based in the Persian Gulf will be well received. Time heals all things.

[@l-train7876]

She’ll be doing some hooker-light.

[@Selvarin]

Sheiks will be lining up to sh*t on her chest and eat hummus from between her toes.

[@bjorn-jameshanrahan8183]

Tim heals all things *

[@mmcw3364]

Probably one of the best guest podcasts I’ve seen on this show in a minute

[@BradVicious]

Yannis always brings the heat!

[@alyssarikka9974]

Yannis and Ray Kump are the best

[@Theplayersclublive]

Yannis feeds the troll the best I’ve ever seen.

[@Theplayersclublive]

He grows bigger and bigger right before our eyes

[@BradVicious]

Yannis is one of the few people who make Tim actually laugh.

[@THEEck5000]

‘Nobody should have their shoes on ever’ is one of the gems in this clip filled with them 😂😂

[@enlightenednormie242]

Pedophile Protection Army: "Saving kids from the lunatics & their innocence" since Time immemoriam

[@TommyTest147]

What we need is Ray, Yannis and Tim guarding the front doors of schools. Yes or yes

[@kaylabrown1873]

Wow, ok , I’ll just turn my car volume down lol . “ give pedophiles guns outside of schools..”

[@Autonomous_Don]

“It’s not a bad idea to put schools in places that are geographically harder to get to” -Tim Dillon

[@Yannispappascomedian]

Body armour by Tommy Hilfiger

[@lastonanisland1111]

Tim is the American subconscious mind brought to voice. His truth so blaring it can only be processed by the herd as comedy but make no mistake of it's true potency.

[@ACarter87]

I don’t think people are talking about how he’s literally a game changer, as we’re watching in real time Like how is he not more well known? Is he being purposely dampened or kept down by entertainment big wigs?

[@tiae.475]

Well said🤟🏻

[@darklord220]

Tim is the king of reductio ad absurdum. He says things that are absurd yet they don't seem absurd because things are getting more absurd. Triple absurdtion.

[@CatnamedMittens]

And hyperbole with tongue in cheek humor

[@reportinglivefromhell222]

How sad it is it that another mass shooting did happen before this was posted.

[@bernlin2000]

I say quarantine now, quarantine tomorrow, quarantine forever!!!

[@alexnoelle4202]

Pedophiles with guns in castles?! Seems like that's already a thing and you have inside info...

[@trip9g]

the shade thrown at body language experts was.....WOW, YANNIS, MY MAN. TIM! GET THIS GUY PERMA, THIS WAS GOLD

[@maebandy]

I love where Tim got excited that someone would use history as a referential sarcasm bit and then just watched it dissolve as he realized it was mere accident. It's like being in a chatroom and seeing someone's profile name reads sacrificemymomformyloveofazteca and you think you've found a carnivorous soulmate but then they just like mexican food.

[@colbymarsh2074]

Try standup, what the fuck was that

[@maebandy]

@@colbymarsh2074 "chill daddy"

[@pault6347]

Dangerous game....life in the big city

[@Mr_Boifriend]

i have no idea what you’re saying but if you normally take meds & went off them then your life will probably improve slightly if you go back on them

[@rickDArula]

I will never get tired of Ben dying in the background. Lol

[@dankvader5060]

Lmao Ben's laugh gives me life 😂

[@hulk6164]

Honestly it’s kinda cringe that his only contribution is a cackle at every joke.

[@rickDArula]

@@hulk6164 lol he's the producer dummy. He contributes alot

[@hulk6164]

@@rickDArula conversationally his largest contribution is a cackle

[@skidstoleave]

These 2 together are insane lmao 🤣

[@subo88]

Best description of the trial. 😂 Also loved the way he made fun of Austin lol

[@jarenramos123456]

I'm here before KZbin takes it down! Score! Hahaha

[@TheActualJesus]

The "No guns" signs aren't laws, they're just signs. Thats the deal.

[@declineofthewest.]

Thank you, Jesus. 🙏🏻

[@mr.funkydank]

amen

[@dripside2102]

Do you wish you had gun when Romans fucked you up dude?

[@shooeeeeee]

I thought signs were for fascism and commies

[@anonnyanonymous4800]

6:20 “Don’t bring your gun to the opera.” To be fair, Bruce Wayne’s parents would be alive if they were armed that day. 😙

[@JackHackaday]

Tim and yannis show, once a month

[@peterkovic2241]

One of the best clips I’ve seen from the pod, haha. “My only advice with your kids is to not get too attached.”

[@soundsbitter]

Lol Tim is so reckless with his speech. It’s ridiculously funny to know we have you to say these things man. This world is so serious now a days it’s sad. So listening to you makes me happy . And calm

[@rudeasparagus5012]

4:20 is my favorite underrated Tim quote. The kid isn't safe from a school shooter even when he's home-schooled 🤣🤣🤣

[@SuperSenis]

I love that seating position, Tim. It could be your thing for your podcast!

[@Iwasthewalrus]

Arming the children may just be the best solution I've heard to date. Do elementary children still qualify for AR's?

[@alo4912]

They should, it's their right

[@dingosmith9932]

Free with every F

[@JustSomeCanadianGuy]

The solution to all of life’s problems as I saw them was simple: Get a time machine and go back to 1988 and just start a life there. 😂

[@gabriel-uc1uz]

Time machines aren't fucking real so nice job placing artificial limits on time travel.

[@JustSomeCanadianGuy]

@@GBsavant Who wants to go BACK?!? 😂

[@nodiggity9472]

​@@JustSomeCanadianGuy I want to go back. Back to before I read your stupid post. 👻

[@GBsavant]

@@JustSomeCanadianGuy Most people when discussing time machines speak about going back in time and changing things. Kill hitler etc

[@GBsavant]

I of course don't expect you to acknowledge this or be like my bad for being so aggressively wrong

[@hippybeast6217]

This is all gold....its a conversation worthy of a stand up special🔥

[@californiacavemandastardly6538]

Holy shit, "home school your children and you can shoot them"....LOL

[@annabellehe4307]

As someone with a puritanical homeschool mom this hit too close to home lol

[@jakesnacks1149]

The Tube is now linking The Tim Dillon show with Fox News recommendations :/

[@johnmackey2240]

This is so refreshing. It sounds like me and my coworkers.

[@shadow12k]

School are definitely conveniently built in places that are inconvenient to every other commuter lol

[@lilzenam461]

Tim always brings on the funny 🤣🤣🤣

[@danielsliwa1045]

“They’ll be another shooting by then…” Welp, it’s really sad but Tennessee answered that call Saturday night 😔

[@liamstanton5205]

Mac-10essee

[@elias_xp95]

So who is winning the leaderboard? Last I heard it was Texas with over 15 shootings, some States are really slacking, I think Minnesota had 0. Truly rookie numbers

[@foxadams8813]

HOW was she evr called the most beautiful woman in the world????????????? I didnt know the competition was so scarce

[@solomcfc82]

As someone who doesn't like people, I'm with the 'don't go outside' idea! It works for me!

[@Big_AlMC]

Thats what daddy Govment wants to hear! Social Engineering workin just right with you 😉

[@pault6347]

Well you better LEARN to like some of them because they AINT GOIN NOWHERE.

[@pault6347]

@Daniel Hollingsworth nothing you said in either of your comments actually makes sense. BOT ALERT

[@pault6347]

@Daniel Hollingsworth There's no need to watch what you say. Jesus fucking christ. OF COURSE they want us to stay inside. OF COURSE its a scheme. The way to fight it is not to be sneaky but to go right at this bullshit "its too people-y outside" mantra with brute force just like when parents used to smack their kids. There is no time for gentleness. Fear? How about if you don't stop being scared of everything I'll GIVE ya something to be scared of. A swift kick in the ass

[@mayc8674]

🧛

[@victoriaman117]

What I have learned is just don’t kill kids in multiple digits at once, however if they die one at a time in foster care we are all okay with that somehow

[@erco9167]

Dammit Don, you’ve done it again

[@paulfroelich1024]

Rolled Gold Cigarettes. They're molested. That's the campaign.

[@erco9167]

@@paulfroelich1024 What… is a gun? It it just something you pop an extendo full of .762s into and mop up a Montessori school? I don’r think so. It’s more than that.

[@paulfroelich1024]

@@erco9167 What does Bethlehem Steel MAKE? They make gay men.

[@bloatedsodium7301]

Remember that scene in Training Day when Alonzo gets shot up by the Russians? I have a feeling that’s going to happen to Tim, but by a bunch of pedofiles. That would be rich!

[@mattmmk]

That last punchline was incredible

[@mellowtrip807]

I could listen to tim all day.

[@jessicaberry370]

Dillon’s classy sign and charming set goes perfectly with his Billion $ comedy sets. BRAVO!!!

[@mrbigglesworth35ify]

tim the red nose reindeer

[@ianodonnell5552]

Like a prison, they should have armed guards in towers around the perimeter of the school.

[@jordanslager3684]

“My suggestion for everyone with children is to not get so Fuckin attached”

[@707lurks]

Tim just needs to build a bunk under his desk like George Costanza

[@bakednotfried1184]

Damn right it's dangerous with flying pigs failing from the sky

[@hyper_sprite2607]

I need to hear tim dillion talk about the depp trial more

[@liverpoolkelly7]

this should be retitled '7 minutes of absolute gold!'

[@officialspaceefrain]

Someone said it. Now people are like oOoOo schools are not safe mm mm mmmmmm… not sending my kid to school.

[@bensondewalt8200]

Here’s Tim providing solutions and no body listens.

[@Shinners124]

“Arm phedophiles outside of schools” proceeded by Ben dying off camera is top tier entertainment

[@streetmoneyski6168]

When he said "they'll be another shooting by then" and now it's Tulsa 😔

[@gc4201]

This is awesome thank you gusy

[@josuejasso7589]

And there has been a new shooting just 2 days after this got posted

[@youtubecensorsspeech6672]

Haven’t laughed this hard in awhile

[@DropNinety]

Finally someone’s making sense.

[@roadrunne255]

Thank you for your service.

[@alostbard]

Juzt say 'arm the teachers'. Pedophile is already implied.

[@bryanguerrero3757]

Yannis and Dillon chemistry has gotta be my favorite comedian duos I’ve ever heard on a podcast . I wish they had a show together . They’d definitely be one of the best comedic shows out there .

[@mrdrprof99]

Holy shit Tim. Calm down on the blow.

[@danielvalleduarte]

In 2004 Iraq, I invented body armor for kids made out of old Beanie Babies, called Beanie Barmor. Please make this, Tim.

[@Damnto]

Leave heavily populated areas and go for the forests and mountains and protect yourself and your loved ones. Eat what you hunt and wear what you hunt. Weapons and schools always existed but shooters became popular recently because of therapists proscribing drugs that make children genderless and depressed and shoot people off getting called a idiot

[@alo4912]

Can I play video games In the Forrest and mountains?

[@Damnto]

@@alo4912 can you play a video game while you running in the school hallways just seconds away from getting shot in the head?

[@batchagaloopytv5816]

we protect Walmarts with guns/cops but we put a "gun free zone" sign to protect our kids

[@transformerstuff7029]

lmao walmarts are protected with guns?! What kind of distopian world has America turned into?! xD hahahahaha and you used it as an argument! LMAO! f me this is good.

[@Harry_Blotter]

The cops turned tail and ran away in Uvalde

[@bigrobwazhere6268]

It's times like these I wish I could still see the amount of dislikes.

[@candyluna2929]

San Antonio is not 3 hours away from Austin. is about 45 minutes depends the area. 1 hr top with traffic

[@abbyta26]

i believe he was saying uvalde from austin

[@happytrailsgaming]

Well that ended w a banger!

[@centaur6ify]

bring back workhouses

[@Brandon-so9fp]

OR Maybe you cant get a gun if your currently on ssri's

[@annabellehe4307]

Do you know how easy it is to stop getting an ssri prescription lol

[@kevinhillary4057]

Every time I see a clip of Tim Dillon he’s sitting lower and lower

[@ZoroNZara]

The irony of him saying “this shooting will be out of the news in an hour there will be a another shooting” Tulsa???

[@pupintheturdiii]

There was another shooting tragically.

[@kalebstrong6498]

With that backdrop I feel like Im sitting in a bar in Coachella listening to 2 hilarious guys rant

[@benzobowboy]

Tim slouches in his chair further and further every episode 😹😹😹 once day we just won’t see him while he talks lol

[@Greenman422]

"heres a crazy idea , ped******s outside of schools with guns" Fucking lost it.

[@HeardItOnTheX]

Love Yannis with Tim.

[@alexeilindes7507]

Tim ur nose is so red its blinding Santa

[@TheZagiello]

He was in his boyfriend's ass all night.

[@Braselton21]

Tim needs to have his own radio show on GTA 6 :)

[@brandonhoskins8089]

That's the best idea I've ever heard

[@jessicaberry370]

MORE “the View” skits in drag… PLEASE. I will beg for this.

[@jeffreysmith5230]

The bell tower sniper in Austin back in the 60. Plus 3 hour's away is Houston and it can be pretty crazy.

[@TheBornnaked]

Just build schools like prisons. Have automatic doors with locks. Some guard towers. Easy.

[@michaeljacksin9367]

I cant wait for that final synergy where our eyes are surgically altered to swap between entertainment and death beams

[@Williamtipq]

Not going outside is where i developed my mouth.

[@Flowlosopha]

“You can homeschool your kids, and you can shoot them” 😂😂😂

[@lachlanmclennan2188]

Is it me or did Tim invite an imposter of himself onto the show 🤔

[@bobbyhussain5141]

Love these “Takes”.

[@russellcampbell3500]

Hahahah it is a nice to see someone get beat up in a nice area.

[@NASkeywest]

Amber heard is aging like milk and I love it.

[@yoshikarp6432]

there was another shooting tulsa mass shooting

[@WILLKINGG]

This was the first segment ever as a Tim Dillon fan I haven’t enjoyed. I see an overwhelming response of love to him for this segment saying it’s brilliant but idk. I see so many families mourning as these innocent children went through such a traumatizing experience. One girl wiped herself in her classmates blood to pretend she was dead. Maybe I just can’t venture that far mentally in dark humor but man this one wasn’t it for me. Still a huge fan & love him to death.

[@anthonyL1776]

It’s a joke. He doesn’t say it because he means it.

[@papa_pt]

It's his schtick he doesn't know how to not be sarcastic

[@CatnamedMittens]

4:26 Ben in the background dying