DON'T Marry A Japanese Person? Parental Child Kidnappings & Divorce in Japan (Interview)

[@BordersLess]

Thanks to Catherine for sharing her story. Keep up to date with her case via her website: www.catherine-henderson.com/ Timestamps: 0:00 - Introduction 1:03 - Catherine's experience of child abduction by her ex-husband 2:10 - How joint custody works in Japan vs other countries 5:45 - The perverse financial incentives in the Japanese system 10:00 - Catherine reflects on Japan's culture & society 12:28 - Can Catherine's children reach out to her? 13:14 - Catherine's warning about having children in Japan 14:16 - Catherine's future plans Due to Japan's controversial single custody laws, child abductions by Japanese spouses have made international headlines over the years, affecting foreigners from the US, Australia, Europe, Canada, Singapore (and of course, Japan). Notable recent cases include Japanese table tennis star, Ai Fukuhara, who was accused of kidnapping her child from her Taiwanese ex-husband (in 2023) and also Vincent Fichot, a French national who went on a 3-week hunger strike in 2021 to raise awareness about this issue.

[@frankgreen2447]

Oh, please ... what a load of horsesh!t. At the end of the Vietnam War, there were hundreds of thousands Amerasian children born from American soldiers and Vietnamese women abandoned by the US government. Some of them are still looking for their fathers to this day.

[@shadypadi]

Omg Catherine, If you ever read this… my heart goes to you and I really hope your kids find their way to you… I can feel your love for your children… I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I just can say that I wish I could have a mother like you.

[@kayc618]

Don’t have children in Japan if you don’t want to lose them. It’s too dangerous.

[@alessandrakalini]

Same in Denmark, difference is in Denmark the government steals them. 6% are taken in Denmark by the government.

[@sadfdfg7286]

Not Only Japanese parent can abduct kids in Japan, But Also foreign parent can abduct kids if it's in Japan. Actually my wife is foreigner, she was abducted by her mother, when she was around 11years old. She knew about the Japanese parental abduction. She always talked about it and was afraid of it. After 3rd child birth, my wife seemed to be mentally ill. Even though I am not cheating her, she thought that I am cheating. And my wife seemed to think that her kids will be abducted by me and her imaginary girlfriend of me. My wife went to police and accused the fake story that I and the imaginary girlfriend sexually abused kids. She told police that I brought her imaginary girlfriend, and that I let "the girlfriend" sexually abuse kids, while she was in hospital because of the 3rd son's hospitalization. But it was 7months ago, and her mother was staying our home from Europe when the 3rd son was in hospitalization. And police told me that kids didn't say they are sexually abused, after they got questions from child specialized investigator. Even police didn't believe her story, she can still abduct kids. I always think about jumping in front of the train, when I am going to work. And unfortunately I still can't dislike my wife. I just hate Japan itself. Everyone can abduct kids if they are parent. Because Japanese society think that kids are parent's possessions.

[@EugeMeijster-nf7fl]

You are not alone, it's happened to many of us. Don't give up.

[@alexchoi4273]

It’s been a month since my wife took our 15 month baby girl and won’t let me see her. Very devastating and attorneys are hesitant to take the case. I’m Korean-American living in Fukuoka and moved from Tokyo to allow my wife and parents in-laws to see our baby grow since we planned to go back to the states once after my work assignment is complete. Is this really dead end for foreigners?

[@tysonpunch2954]

Don’t worry bro kids will grow up and they will contact you, my friend went through this and last year his son who turned 18 and daughter 17 told their mom we want to go and live with dad , so she couldn’t do anything and she let them go and I visited him and met his kids !! He told me even though they were still young at the time of divorce but they still remember how warm the father was and how bitch agressive the mother was !!!

[@norahchedli9948]

So sorry about that،be strong and patient.

[@chump5876]

So what they are not mentioning. Japan just added joint custody. It won't be official for a few years. I would talk to a lawyer though to try and organize things now.

[@djDimaTrusH]

Lawyers don’t help, they can just prolong the suffering. It’s a corrupt system in charge and often our spouses fall victims to such satanist. You still have chance to be with your wife and daughter . You need to try to talk to her and don’t go to court . Once in court it’s over bro

[@KelvinSmith28]

I'm from Atlanta Georgia and my wife from Yokohama Japan didn't let me see my son for 13 years consecutively. It's crazy these laws are fucked up.

[@silveriver9]

Interesting. Good to see more videos shedding light of the realities in JP, instead of the glut of "JP is a utopia" videos.

[@leonflemingeugeneflemingal1273]

For sure childabduction nation Only banned child porn in 2014 as a requirement to host Olympics Still torture for confession on every arrest forn99.3% conviction rate Children without dreams report and its only gotten worse since then with orphans They make children victims of SA in shelters sit in a position the UN deems as torture to reflect on their bad deeds The list goes on Polite yeah sure while the grit their teeth The west easily forgets polite is not the same as kind

[@wengweng2582]

I’m a Filipina married to my ex Brazilian,he tricked me to sign the divorce papers and I’m so dumb I believed him.And now it’s been 4 years he won’t let me see my daughter😭It’s killing me everyday not knowing how she is doing😭I asked some help in Okazaki shi family court but i was shock when they told me you can’t have your daughter right now because she has a new mother(stepmother)she will get confused.Last year I was hospitalized , and now I have a thyroid disease because of the stress that caused me about this problem.She is turning 8 this coming September 7.Omg bubba Bela I miss you so much😭😭I’m sorry for my English 🙏

[@djDimaTrusH]

Please stay strong , what other option do we have ?

[@patricksmith8262]

This has been happening for decades. Including mothers being cut off. Japanese lawyers don't care, so long as they can get a paycheck.

[@what-I-enjoy-doing]

😢

[@kittybaybiee]

What kind of sick person denies a child from their own parent!

[@tysonpunch2954]

Japanese they do that and more !! I’m living here for 25years and just in case you don’t know Japanese father continues to take shower with their teenager daughter until 15 or even 18 years old 😂😂 if you don’t believe me google it 😂😂😂 all my girls friends they told me that and they hated their father

[@DutchmanAmsterdam]

​@@tysonpunch2954They are a sick bunch.

[@xiaozihua]

​@@DutchmanAmsterdam yep Nipponese 🤮🤮

[@KelvinSmith28]

Believe me they will

[@sethdarrow9197]

@@tysonpunch2954 All of your girlfriend's fathers are pedophiles? That doesn't say anything about you right?

[@BordersLess]

UPDATE: parents can now seek joint custody of their children in Japan, starting from 2026, after Japanese parliament changed their custody laws today BUT victims say that it might not be enough: www.smh.com.au/world/asia/this-law-won-t-change-much-australian-abductee-parents-fear-japan-custody-reform-is-not-enough-20240515-p5jdvh.html

[@Recoverel]

Joint custody can be a really bad disaster for children if the parents cannot cooperate well especially if there were genuine domestic violence histories. (Of course, abductors often use DV to justify the deprivation of the other parent's access to the child.)

[@falconheavy595]

boy o boy. She is strong. I really wish they will look for their mom someday. What kind of witty person would take away the child from their mother. !!!

[@bill1931]

A shout-out to Catherine Henderson, thank you. I am a victim of parental child abduction in Japan too. Nice to hear Catherine summarised the situation so well. How all parties in the system taking money to keep the children from their parent are so very sad and real. We are here to make this issue embarrassing for Japan, for the world to see. Japan really should get it's act together and really do what's good for children

[@djDimaTrusH]

Do you meet your children ?

[@sebastianocaruso9939]

I am another one in this situation, although just started. My son has been taken to an undisclosed location 4 months ago. Since then I have been able to see him once for 1h in a 2x2m room. There is nothing possible to do in this system and the first parent to kidnap the child wins. This is a country that does not care for its children. No one should have a child with a Japanese person until better laws are in place.

[@shadypadi]

I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

[@faustoferrari4303]

Really impressed by her assessment of the situation, Japan's penchant for conflict avoidance is a major problem when dealing with certain aspects of modern life. Wonder why her marriage ended, she seems so grounded and reasonable. Hope she is able to succeed in getting access to her kids.

[@Recoverel]

As a left-behind parent myself, I see that Japan changed very little on this issue, despite the fact that they signed onto the Hague Convention on parental child abduction. In my case, the court granted me visitation - 3 hours a year! This made sense to them somehow. I appealed, the court agreed and remanded the case. The court also ignored the fact that my ex was the one who abducted my son from USA to Japan. There needs to be stronger law on ensuring parental access to children. My son was abducted when he was 2. He will turn 27 in August 2024....

[@jugendamthamburg-ggkonform381]

Big thanks for the brave, well-spoken, and good mother for going public and speaking so clearly about what exactly is going wrong systematically so that it can be at a system-level reformed. The children are usually to going to reach out to anyone on the excluded side of the family because they are focused on their immediate daily life, none of whom are actively supporting ghe children to main Tain and grow contact/relationships with the excluded side of the family. Maybe when possible get excluded grandparents, cousins, unless, aunts and so on to also apply in a coordinated way pressure. I hope these is one organization to coordinate pr and reform. I believe if the money system is changed in the courts/attorneys and so on then there will be less exclusion.

[@user-di3hj6dm1g]

Japan enacts a bill for joint custody, but it is actually a false bill for sole custody. Kidnappings cannot be stopped in Japanese politics, please apply pressure from foreign countries.

[@falconheavy595]

Sole custody aka they want to legalize the kidnapping

[@wfokiwis]

Very interesting. Thank you for the excellent video!

[@rim-u4z]

it is sick why father wont let the mom see her children for 5 years. so crazy and atrocious

[@EugeMeijster-nf7fl]

Don't get politeness confused with niceness.

[@wantedplayer3911]

They nasty but cutie 😂. Charming yet deceitful

[@fluffyblanket1398]

This is very sad.. I hope she will meet her kids soon..

[@rose191991]

I had no idea this is the way how it is in Japan.. so horrible 😢 i hope pne day when her kids are adults they will contact her

[@Thisthisthis1996]

Absolutely Friging disgusting!!!! So so so sad and wrong! Those poor precious kids : ( I have never ever been drawn to the culture and now I clearly see why! Beyond messed up and heartless

[@oftheshoresto2485]

I think it might have something to do with your nose piercing and dyed hair

[@cahrpac]

There are more of us, in worse circumstances. My children were taken. Then after a month I was allowed to Skype them. Then I had two visitations. Then I was cut off from them until the divorce. The divorce judge requested visitation happen immediately. I spoke to them 3 times. Then cut off again. My daughter secretly called me in hysterics. She was not allowed to talk to me. She was told I had thrown her away like trash. I filed a lawsuit. The mother got a doctor to say my daughter was mentally unstable, and I should not be allowed to visit her. She would get jealous if I visited my son so I wasn't allowed to see him either. My daughter was taken to child protection services 3 times, called the police on her mother once. Now she is self harming. The judge rejected visitation. My daughter was placed in a mental hospital to prevent interviewing her. My second appeal was rejected, then accepted, then postponed. Now I have to go to court and explain why I should be allowed to see my children.

[@shadypadi]

My heart goes to you and I hope you can have your children back, I’m so sorry

[@ayishaks6510]

Stay strong. Your daughter knows the truth. When she is older, she will know freedom.

[@cahrpac]

@ayishaks6510 actually, she now hates me. She has been told I threw her away. And now that it has been 4 years since her secret call and 6 years since I last saw her, she now believes the lies she was told. She told the court she wants nothing to do with me...

[@ayishaks6510]

@@cahrpac oh dear, im sorry. And being a teenager... it's the age of rebellion. I hope things do work out for you, however slim the chances. And i hope you can move on and find good people. There are many decades to come. People often reflect on life events after hitting adulthood. I hope your daughter does. Keep writing letters and cards. If you are allowed to send them, do so through the solicitor or court so mum can't hide them. If you can't, save them for when she turns 18... At least she would see all the cards and reflect to consider maybe you cared and investigate the stories. No complicated stories, just i love you and miss you, mention the call and how you felt, how she felt. Betrayed, upset, homesick. Also talk about how the mum felt, angry, combative, afraid. And why you and mum broke up. Because the mum has her wrapped around her finger, and i guess the mum is an image of glory to her, so it can't be pick a side anymore, only working with her. It will get better for sure, maybe after a storm or two. Just look after yourself pls, and find joy in nature.

[@ayishaks6510]

@@cahrpac i mean, do what you want, of course. Sorry, I'm a bit of a bossy boots.

[@djDimaTrusH]

Katherine hello, I wrote to you a message on your website . I have been in divorce court for 2.5 years now so legally I am still a father but I have not been granted access to kids through family court and I lost hope there . But I am still married , not sure how long can I continue this process . I need help. Based on what I have heard , once I get divorced I will not be able to win child visitation. So do I still have a chance ? Can you please recommend me a lawyer ? I don’t speak Japanese , I heard Vincent lawyer Mr Ueno is good . Do you happen to have his contacts please ?

[@tysonpunch2954]

Japan is the most corrupt country in the developed world!! I’m Japanese naturalized citizen now after living here for 25 years and my wife is Japanese 3 children, luckily I never went through this trauma however all my kids are adult now and we are moving back home to Europe! I knew three friends of mine who went through this experience and it’s really heartbreaking:(( now I’m divorcing my wife and all my children want to move out of Japan with me since they are all adults now the corrupt legal system can’t do shit to us because they are adults:)) and definitely my kids who speaks fluent English and highly educated will not contribute to the Japanese society and since we are Japanese living abroad we will be exempt of paying healthcare, retirement, city taxes!!! So who is losing now:)) I put up with my wife for all this years but now I’m the winner with all my kids 😂😂

[@MRT-co1sd]

Thanks for sharing. Sorry to hear about your divorce. By the way can you share why you and your wife divorced?

[@djDimaTrusH]

Man, you are a true hero . I wish I knew about you 4 years ago

[@oftheshoresto2485]

Your first sentence isn't even remotely true. I don't care if you've lived there for 25 years. Maybe you just haven't been in America alone for awhile to say something that insane. Also completely lost in anything of these things is who marries these people. Interracial international marriages between two wildly different cultures- what could go wrong and who could be attracted to this? It's always Japan's fault though.

[@what-I-enjoy-doing]

Catherine I really hope that you can see your children again.

[@dmor6696]

Damn, i cannot imagine what this lady is going through, for so many years!

[@djDimaTrusH]

Can anyone shad some truth please ? I have not been divorced after 2.5 years of trial . And the new law will take place only in 2026 . That roughly two years from now . Do I have any chance to keep fighting in court for two more years so after that I can be granted sole custody ? My wife has no evidence of me being abusive towards her and kids however in Japan they consider an abuse when some one talks loudly . I am a loud person . So I am abusive in the eyes of Japanese …

[@dustwatcher1963]

I heard similar story. A couple friends had Japanese wives and they took the children back to Japan and never return.

[@bosborne24]

Usa family court is the most disturbing and gross thing I ever heard of.monny and corruption,

[@Hardeep2782]

It’s true 😢 my baby always kidnapped he take away from me I am always sad 😢 alone lonely in japan

[@SerenityRidge1]

The legal age in Japan is 18 right? Cause I heard they lowered it. Once they’re adults are they legally allowed to see the parent that was forbidden from them?

[@hokagesama6681]

But also the worst part is that the gae consent is 16 years, but before it was 13. Truly sick

[@oftheshoresto2485]

@@hokagesama6681 Their national AOC was 13 but every single prefecture had it at 16-18. It's amazing how illiterate you are.

[@MRT-co1sd]

I thought she would know about Japanese and Japanese culture. Doesn’t she know how deceptive the Japanese and Japanese culture is.

[@oftheshoresto2485]

Do the people who engage in international interracial marriages between two wildly different cultures and end up with people like this ever have any culpability? Or is it always the fault of those dirty Japanese? "These people keep up marrying psychos but it NEVER says anything about them!"

[@oftheshoresto2485]

Do people who partake in international interracial marriages between two wildly different cultures and end up marrying psychos ever have any culpability or is it always the fault of the Japanese?

[@pamelajones-goodridge7133]

@@oftheshoresto2485 In t6his situation it is Japanese laws and culture that created the mess, so yes in this case Japan is at fault. Stop being so defensive and acknowledge your country's wrongdoings

[@MM-cl5ik]

I'm trying to understand why she is smiley in most interviews. Why did she publish her portraits on her website instead of focusing on the serious subject matter? Genuinely curious.

[@notablemind]

Some people smile when they are nervous or when they are feeling uncomfortable. It's a natural body reaction for some people when they feel pressured

[@norahchedli9948]

So devastated, Japanese system is not only old fashioned but is unfair. Gratefull to my country where custody is given automatically to the mothers. We are not even well developed economically but socially, our system is far away healthier and stronger. Catherine, stay strong and be patient, your kids will come back to you because you are a wonderfull mum.

[@shin-ishikiri-no]

”Country where custody is given automatically to the mothers” is also unfair...

[@mrskelton-ud1im]

what about any other contry?

[@小佐見ドロテア]

Joint custody has been established today

[@CassandraJay]

The equivalent of America’s CPS.

[@Xinerius]

No, equivalent to America’s false accusations. Like a mom would falsely accuse the dad sexually abusing his daughter and get restraining order and full custody afterwards. Judge is like “better safe than sorry.”

[@marymojsovski7666]

They land they rules. If was American Noone talk about they laws.

[@Xinerius]

@techlead