Stupid Pet Tricks on Letterman, March 29, 1984

By request. With Stacy Darden, Jim Audubon, Linda Weber, and Alaine Lombardo. The dog, Lady, doing "push-ups" was shown again when Dave guested on The Tonight Show the following week. That clip is here; • Video
From E!'s February 23, 1995, broadcast.

[@cannondaleman1]

Crazy to think that today, in 2023, that turtle is the only one that may still be alive and still be living in a sink in the basement.

[@cheapskatepanic]

Well, I HOPE Dave isn't living in a sink basin anyway. 😉

[@cannondaleman1]

​@@cheapskatepanic Have you seen him lately? He looks like he does!!! Lol.

[@teressarenslow5992]

Lol!

[@jenniferrumage4260]

I miss the old Letterman days with stupid pet tricks, so hilarious with Dave's commentary!

[@sirclarkmarz]

the only thing stupid in that time slot now is Stephen Colbert

[@PlaceStillMatters]

I love how absolutely unpredictable this segment is.

[@alalducente]

ive been doing push ups wrong this whole time

[@a7laktkota]

LOL!

[@Jiv_Ing57819]

Not really push ups per se, more leg sliding, and I guess Lady got away with that ,:-0

[@wms72]

Lady does girl push ups

[@MamaLena123]

😂

[@TripleX205]

That turtle still lives unlike the other animals.

[@99hockeynhl]

assuming no sadistic kid left it on its back.

[@Jiv_Ing57819]

Slow but steady ,:-0

[@mikemahoney6840]

I wish animals lived longer.Dogs make it to 15 which is just too short of a time.

[@petercipriani3307]

That turtle flipping over on his/her back and the crowd's reaction cracked me up

[@Newtman98]

Came here to see if anyone else found that hilarious.

[@petercipriani3307]

@@Newtman98 Just rewatched it and it still made me laugh out loud

[@Jiv_Ing57819]

Looking forward to this part ,:-0

[@vs71597]

Lmfao I saw this comment before the turtle and the anticipation 100% paid off

[@therewasacrookedman5892]

Great how courteous and grateful Dave is to the ‘contestants’ for their participation in his shenanigans.

[@Eggmanontheair]

The Puking Weasels.. they were a great band. I have all their records.

[@swettyspaghtti]

Its a real band lol facebook.com/pukingweazel/

[@a7laktkota]

I don't know which is more awesome -- *Alan's* retort, or the fact *Swetty Spaghetti* revealed that "The Puking Weasels" were already a band LOL! (Thanks to you both for the hearty laugh!) Happy Holidays!

[@Maya_Pinion]

👍👍👍👍👍😂

[@straingedays]

At times, I wished Letterman did a special green room edition of pet tricks, especially for the animals that were obviously scared of set lights and live audience cheers. The dog "Lady" doing push-ups was a hoot for 1984 standards, this must be where Madonna got the move for her September 14, 1984 MTV Video Music Awards performance!!

[@rondy702]

She's got legs up to her ears! Always heard that expression and I finally get to see it!

[@newwavepop]

i was just thinking i would do some tricks for her. ESPECIALLY then when i was 12.

[@sealteamryx6758]

We had a turtle for like 10 years when I was a kid... his name was Elvis and we found him in the woods in Mississippi... but then my dad let my brother take him and he lost him about a week later... but a few years ago, my mom was driving home from Mississippi back to Utah, and whilst crossing the river at Vicksburg, saw another turtle crossing the road about to get run over so she stopped and picked him up and brought him back to Utah I have been taking care of him ever since lol his name is Frank n I built him a little cage in my backyard for the summertime and he lives inside during winter

[@pattysherwood7091]

I love your story.

[@sealteamryx6758]

@@pattysherwood7091 why thank you lol actually last summer probably right after i wrote that, my grandma passed away in Mississippi and i had the family take Frank back home... he now lives in the pond behind my grandmas house

[@reidellis1988]

@@sealteamryx6758 Great Story. I grew up in Utah. I found a Tiger Salamander at Bear Lake. It was 1980. I was 10. I was almost 25, married with a kid, when it died. I never imagined.

[@sealteamryx6758]

@@reidellis1988 that's pretty wild it lived 15 years with you he mustve just barely hit adulthood when you found I don't know how long they live but that's impressive

[@reidellis1988]

@@sealteamryx6758 It still had gills. Fyi.

[@newwavepop]

i dont think one of these pet segments ever made me feel as bad for the animals before as this one did. that poor cat just getting twisted and yanked all around, the ferret getting sick then no one cleaning it up as they are still up there wandering around, then that poor turtle confined to a god damn sink for decades.

[@straingedays]

Thought the same thing. Cats are naturally terrified in situations like this and the owner doing what they did made me feel so sad for that kitty. Ferrets being sick from terror and their owner then forcing their natural hunting curiosity was awful, plus they don't smell, it's their musk. Then that poor turtle. She said they'd found it (taken from its home), had it for 18yrs, still didn't know its breed or age and lived in a basement sink (at best a foot square of stainless steel in a dark windowless room), yet only learned to torment it with food for a laugh.

[@barrettus]

I bet the segment producer must have some great stories.

[@jimijackson]

*fell in love with lady's owner* lol

[@notsusan]

this confirmed my image of long island

[@jamesmarshall1905]

One of the best - dog doing the pushups!

[@kjoliver4125]

Dogs are always in the push-up position anyway. MH

[@Retro_Fan]

I think the dog learned the push-ups from watching mom at night.

[@isacece1334]

"The turtle is ah, obviously woozy" LOL....Man I loved Dave's remarks!!

[@gj8683]

Linda: "She's just a mixed breed." Dave: "Well, she looks nothing like my dog." That's a quick wit for you.

[@lunastarr1925]

All d precious guests r soo smart and adorable....🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@JacobHarvietheSinger]

Dave wasn't expecting a legitimate answer to what kind of cats are these

[@jerzeyguy71]

the ferret guy is the reason this bit is called stupid pet tricks.. lol

[@FranzKafkaRockOpera]

Pretty funny to see the bewildered reaction to owning ferrets as pets in the 80s! Not that they've become ubiquitous but I feel that most people would at least be able to recognize the species nowadays.

[@randall-king]

Thanks to Kindergarten Cop.

[@kstepko]

She petted his shell after he toppled over! He can’t feel that!

[@RagtimeAnnie]

Yes he CAN !

[@paulakenny9557]

David Letterman is hilarious 🤣🤣

[@hbnkasflik3202]

nice name for it push ups

[@christianbrix4311]

That is one docile cat, what is he on? Amazing reflexes by his owner at 1:22 though!

[@lynettepalecek3141]

I really liked the cat!!!! 🐱🐈

[@RevengeAvenger]

This was the best segment! I miss letterman

[@BusStopProductions.]

Linda, and Elian don't need to tell anyone there from Long Island after they speak.

[@bossfan49]

...and a tuttle named Chawlie.

[@FoxRivers778]

Is that Phillies hat that the cat wore, one of those that you used to get DQ sundaes in? I've never seen a dog do pushups before. That was hilarious. That turtle wouldn't be able to self-right would he? I thought Dave was going to ask, does the turtle puke?

[@matthewsmile121]

The dog was humping the floor

[@Andre00x]

I lost it at the push up dog...so dumb lol

[@bossfan49]

Linda Weber....have mercy!

[@marywatkins6798]

I miss these.

[@ADetailedHouse]

Poor turtle! They found him, have kept him in a basement sink for 18 years, and she didn't even give him any meat to eat when he went to such lengths to get it 😢

[@guanqiaowang7586]

@@danielwhittaker695 it's clearly s joke

[@faterock9876543]

I think she fed him when they showed the replay.

[@babaskitchenukrainiansoulf9329]

100 years in a goddamn basement sink. And you could tell he barely gets out to exercise. So stiff, with super long claws. People make me sick.

[@bp8652]

Box turtles eat meat?

[@secretariatgirl4249]

Poor Charlie....living in a basement sink! My Chasca lives outside wild, gets 3 balanced meals a week and goes to the vet 2x a year before hibernating and after...living the good life here in So. New Mexico...She's on my channel!!

[@justayoutuber1906]

Agreed - Turtles wander and a very territorial.

[@shanetography]

It's 2021 and that turtle is still the same size.

[@kurtjk01]

My first thought when she said about her turtle, "He stands on his hind legs," was, "like Gamera??"

[@anondecepticon]

Me watching this video: 1:00 Aw, that poor cat! 2:45, 3:15 Aw, that poor ferret! 5:22 ... 8:19 Aw, that poor turtle!

[@JimzAuto]

‘...’ good one :)

[@MJ-oi5wb]

me too!!!

[@michelmadaire1436]

6:08 LOL gooooood Boy.

[@MicKgb-xr7uc]

The last great of talk show hosts

[@dteed6282]

His weasels can vomit AND pop balloons on command? Thats one hell of a trick!

[@positively_broad_st3780]

Phillies fans booed the cat...

[@KungEMuller]

This is awesome! Do you happen to have the first installment of Stupid Pet Tricks? This goes beyond the Late Night show, right? I mean, this happened on the daytime show, too, right?

[@dongiller]

+Kung-E Muller There were 10 SPT on the morning show. I have them all but can't make them available here.

[@KungEMuller]

Don Giller I understand!

[@curiartsity4803]

"Thomasina will balance a tin can on her hat on" Tom: No.

[@tinytanks]

polecat guy seemed like he was the most disappointed about his trick out of everyone

[@northerngirl1637]

Poor turtle never got a meat treat for all that.

[@karenc.4191]

Those types of animals should be in their own habitat!!!

[@SteveSnowGO]

Thought he was going to say that when the lady walked out he wanted to do some push ups aswell

[@JJ-ju6ky]

For me it's the alow motion replay!

[@thesisypheanjournal1271]

Those were some seriously stupid pet tricks.

[@HarFin123]

That first cat looked abused 😢

[@dougmphilly]

inspiring

[@Risus_Sardonicus]

Linda❤

[@laverdadesmejor]

Letterman's ad-libs were funnier that anything you would see on today's suck-up, monotonous late night talk shows.

[@melodyocampo427]

That kind of push up is weird 😂

[@johnwheet7037]

I'd rename the trick to rolling over...

[@DaniSlot]

The turtle was fucking amazing.!! 😲🤯

[@sherylstory7809]

Poor cat scared to move 🤦

[@michelmadaire257]

push-ups lol

[@dougmphilly]

gamera never looked so good.

[@avengerscap]

Proving once again that cats can do nothing.

[@GooglSucksDisk]

Ab so loot lee nuthing!!!!

[@SquatCobbler-Cry]

They can be little bastards..

[@Maya_Pinion]

That's why they are cats.

[@Maya_Pinion]

Sooooo,makes ya wonder who is dumber: cats or owners? 😏

[@MJ-oi5wb]

People from LongIsland seem to talk really fast!!!

[@gerdknudsen9259]

no "pop goes the weasel " comments?

[@lynderherberts2828]

LOLOLOL

[@airport862]

Becsuse weasels don't smell bad enough.

[@KrazeeClark]

Damn baby, why didn't you wear your tight jeans? 4:10

[@jumbod]

That was pre hipster too

[@lh1678]

Thats BTK pre BTK

[@nwgal7937]

My cat can lay down and sleep. And I don’t think that dog was doing push-ups at all.

[@ophello]

That lady’s legs are freaky.

[@BobbySacamano]

What happened to you, Jim?

[@richinoable]

Now I know why everybody in the world bugs me! Dave conditioned me to regard everyone as a stupid pet trick contestant. *exhasperated sigh* *eye roll to camera 2* *get him some Dramamine* Pretty sure I do that myself...

[@okflix]

Lady’s owner was hot! ….years ago! Paulnot

[@WildCardAcres]

:57 and then the killing spree started

[@CanadianAmerican]

Charlie is the turtle's first name. I'd be willing to bet his last name is McConnell.

[@ObamaFromKenya]

@MsDanTanna the turtle is opposed to ending the filibuster

[@everready19373]

You can tell that Jim is a ladies man.....

[@litigioussociety4249]

That Linda girl had freaky, skinny legs.

[@BobbySacamano]

I disagree. It's the high waist I think that throws off perspective. She is gorgeous

[@litigioussociety4249]

Agreed, she has legs like a stork.

[@AcidFink666]

Linda's a babe

[@clancykobane9102]

back when every middle aged guy dressed like bob ross.

[@crispy6311]

Linda was adorable.

[@justayoutuber1906]

a spinner

[@ericbradley5228]

The cat is just lazy. Turtle delivered.

[@marquisdesade3058]

poor dave he about jumped out of his skin