Col. Jack O'Neill's: 7 Rules of Gate Travel

Edit: Thank you to everyone who has left such wonderful comments :) I really appreciate it!
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Okay, so here's my entry for the first challenge of FTtL. Yay!
I have no idea if anyone, aside from me, will find this funny, but I laughed while making it *shrugs*. Jack O'Neill is for sure one of my favorite Stargate characters. I mean, the man can say and do anything and get away with it! Richard Dean Anderson's genius acting has succeeded in making me fall for him once again (my first crush was MacGyver).
Any-hoo... I tried to be clever with this, and since I've always wanted to do a video with Jack's best lines, I tried to wiggle some of my favorites in (the conversation with Daniel concerning the name Yu is one of them).
Thanks for Watching!
-Rinette:D
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Honors [2/19/10]
#89 - Top Favorited (Today)) - Film & Animation
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Audio
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Jack: "Colonel Jack O'Neill."
Rule #1: Expect the Un-Expected
Teal'c: "This door should not be closed."
Jack: "Dang."
Young Jack: "You know I'm really much taller than I think"
Carter: "Colonel O'Neill meet...Colonel O'Neill."
Jack: "What's going on?"
" I am a man of very few words."
"I thought we fixed this thing so that wouldn't happen anymore."
"Daniel?"
Rule #2: Watch your langauge
Jack: "I am absolutely fine. There is nothing cruvus with me!"
"What?"
Daniel: "You just said: 'There's nothing cruvus with me'."
Jack: "I did not."
Daniel. "Yes you did."
Jack: "No I didn't."
Daniel: "Yes you did."
Jack. "Didn't."
Daniel: "Did."
Jack: "Didn't."
Daniel: "Did."
Jack: "Cruvus. What is that?!"
"Oh, for crying out loud! That's derentis!"
"What?"
Daniel: "You just said: derentis."
Jack. "Did not."
Daniel: "Did too."
Jack: "Derentis. What is that?"
Rule #3: Try to sound Smart
Teal'c: "Appearances may be deceiving."
Jack: "One man's floor is another man's ceiling."
Daniel: "A fool's paradise is a Wiseman's hell."
Jack: "Don't run with scissors?"
"I wouldnt mind one last jaunt through the old orifice."
"What?"
"Actually, its called the accretion disk."
Daniel: "What did you just say?"
Jack: "It's an astronomical term."
Carter: "You didn't think the Colonel had a telescope on his roof just to look at the neighbors did you?"
Jack: "Not initially."
Carter: "The ship should be just a few hundred kilometers dead ahead."
"There."
Jack: "Ship ahoy-hoy."
Rule #4: Piss off the Bad Guys
Ba'al: "I am Ba'al."
Jack: "As in Bocce?"
Ba'al: "Do you not know the pain you will suffer for this impudence?"
Jack: "I don't know the meaning of the word. Seriously...impudence...what does it mean?"
"I am so sorry! I was just finishing up a lovely brunch."
Ba'al: "Impudence."
Jack: "No. Tuna."
"I have a better idea. Why don't we sit back and watch you get your ass kicked. That way, you'll be dead and we'll be glad!"
Ba'al: "You cannot be serious!"
Jack: "Yes I can. I just choose not to...some of the time."
Rule #5: Don't get Confused
Carter: "The warping of our space-time seems to be an advance of the gravitational pull rather than as a result of it. It's probably a lensing effect generated by the Stargate itself but I cant be sure."
Cromwell: "Dont even pretend you understood that."
Carter: "But on closer inspection I discovered that both the absorption port and its redundancy had been tampered with."
Jack: "Carter! I haven't had coffee."
"I have great confidence in you Carter. Go on back to the SGC and confuse Hammond."
Rule #6: Try to be polite
Jack: "Hey! You, in the skirt!"
"Come to retrieve your vastly superior stuff? You know, it would be alot more superior if it wasnt so easy to steal!"
Hammond: "Colonel Chekov feels that a Russian Officer should be assigned to join SG-1."
Jack: "Over my rotting corpse...sir."
Hammond: "Colonel?"
Jack: "I'm sorry. Did I say that out loud?"
"But, we also saved your little grey butts from the Replicators!"
Daniel: "Little grey butts."
Carter: "Yea."
Daniel: "Yu."
Jack: "Me?"
Daniel: "Yu is the name of the Goa'uld."
"Yu did account for a number of notable positive influences..."
Jack: "Thank you."
"Sorry."
Rule #7: Expect to be Ignored
Jack: "I want you to take Connor back through the Stargate."
Carter. "No sir."
Jack: "No sir?"
"I need someone to report back to the general and that is you."
Connor: "No sir."
Jack: "No sir?! Does it say Colonel anywhere on my uniform?"
Edit:
Interrogator: "And you are?"
Jack: "Captian James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise."

[@ThibautVDP]

"you didn't think the colonel had a telescope on his roof just to look at the neighbours, did you?" "not initially."

[@Krahazik]

Ah the joys of secondary uses for equipment.

[@slevinchannel7589]

Anyone here knows the Legacy Series that is meant to continue SGA? I'm now at the Second Book's end, and again, i can't believe how some of the Plot Holes one Book can contain! That whole principle of 'The Wraith use other names/words for things than us' is nice and all, but they go completly and utterly overboard with it! It's crazy! I could list a lot the Wraith should know but don't and shouldnt know but do know, but Heck: The Wraith even know of Jack O'Neill, and even more, of his (Wraith-Confirmed??) Relationship with Sam!! The Wraith know more about Sam and Jack than Us, the Fans! -I know i shouldnt but i feel kinda insulted by this! They know of him and call him 'Trickster', the 'Consort' of Sam! What the heck? How?! And don't even get me started on rhe starting Relationship of Teyla and John, completly Ignoring John and Weir and all the feelings they obviously had for each other! Wow! Small Mistakes, i would never call out in Books, but wow, this Book Series has Mistakes monopolized!

[@theromuluanhunter6976]

@@slevinchannel7589 Eyes always watching!

[@ThaFuzzwood]

And this is how every 13yo stargazer nerd becomes slightly less innocent.

[@cubnation]

"He's a Jaffa." Col. O'Neill, "No, he just plays one on TV."

[@HupfderFloh]

I'm Christian Bocher. I'm portraying the character of Raymond Gunne, who portrays the character of Dr. Levant which is based on the character, uh, Daniel Jackson, portrayed by the actor Michael Shanks, originally portrayed by the actor James Spader in the feature film.

[@Shadowkey392]

“I have great confidence in you, Carter. Go on back to the SGC and...confuse Hammond.”

[@Devenix8527]

You forgot one for Always Be Polite: "General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man." Classic.

[@casey6556]

The best part of that scene is that Maybourne looks at the General like he half expects him to say yes

[@Devenix8527]

@@casey6556 And General Hammond actually LOOKED like he wanted to say yes (couldn't because of code of conduct, which probably was the ONLY thing stopping him)

[@loganshaw4527]

Hammond: I want to say yes but no permission granted.

[@sieg8463]

🤣🤣🤣🙌

[@BlackHoleEye]

- I was just finishing up a lovely brunch. - Impudence! - No, Tuna. Gotta love both O'Neill and Ba'al.

[@jasonmccabe5915]

You missed one. Always make sure that they spell you name right, "That's O'Neill, two Ls"

[@s.anthonyulibarri2488]

As he holds up three fingers.....

[@ARSTARLESS]

Jason McCabe 'theres another O'Neil but he's not funny

[@tvaholicsquidney]

I wondered where I picked that up from, my last name has 2 T's in it at the end as well and I say 'last name' with 2 t's lol

[@alexandrosalexandru9438]

he was showing the "good" senator kinsey the middle finger if u watch closely.

[@leogetz3570]

Loved that running gag!! Supposedly it's because in the movie (Kurt Russell), the character only has one "L". Colonel Jonathan "Jack" Oneil......

[@merkins6430]

I like this video, but the music was a bit loud and we could of done without it.

[@j.s.1816]

Yeah. It was a bit annoying. The video is a great compilation though!

[@Prodzick]

It could be to avoid copyright claim ^^

[@wolfman1282]

The video is from one of the DVD extras and the music is in it as well.

[@Ertwin123]

Yeah I couldn't hear them talking over it.

[@NarwahlGaming]

WHAT??!!

[@geena.marie23]

"Carter, I haven't had coffee yet." hahahaha love that line

[@PerfectAlibi1]

3:09 "But we also saved your little grey butts from the replicators"... XD

[@BonjourHetalia]

Teal'cs facial expressions just make things funnier.

[@MrPingn]

He doesn't have many. But he works them.

[@Shiirow]

gotta have the straight man for O'neill. the best comedy duos have the straight man.

[@ancientsgate]

Best TV series ever. "Daniel?"

[@Pelerin985]

First rule of gate travel : You do not speak about gate travel. Second rule of gate travel : You DO NOT speak about gate travel.

[@seand.g423]

Pelerin4129 third rule: YOU DO NOT SPEAK OF GATE TRAVEL! Fourth rule: one does not simply speak of Gate Travel. Fifth rule: we do not speak of the third Gate.

[@metalheadmike3333]

Cool vid but the background music drowned out a lot of the dialog.

[@Anonymous01959]

why is it youtubers have no sense of balance? The music was perfect fit to the theme of the vid but should have been 75% to 50% of that volume.

[@edkroketje1]

to lazy to try something out, listen to it themself and then edit it if it isn't good enough. + They already know what will be said and if you expect to hear something it is easier to understand those creating the illusion that others will have the same result.

[@Anonymous01959]

john carlaw I'm an older person who did not grow up with computers and there were no computer classes in school. I don't know how to do all that fancy stuff.

[@Ertwin123]

I'm hard of hearing, so it's hard enough for me to hear without background music, let alone "too loud" background music. Congrats on your working ears.

[@albertthorval4674]

Guys it' the mix from the DVD so not really the KZbinrs' fault

[@carolp.granger529]

I definitely LOVE SG-1. I think I am on my fourth viewing of the show. It never, ever gets old with the humor, and O'Neill's dry wit.

[@Nova0720]

I like rule number 4! It's hilarity knows no bounds when miss them off correctly (Jack excels in this rule, and is probably his favorite!)

[@Nova0720]

*piss them off* stupid spell check...

[@1987slim]

Yes, I don't think it is too late to bring SGA back. And seeing the darkside of the Asgard is definitely an interesting concept that will play with peoples emotion. That alone would generate a ton of views. Don't let it just slowly fade away like Firefly did.

[@RMJ1984]

As much as i enjoy Kurt Rusell in movies, im so happy they didn go with him. It wouldn be the same without Richard Dean Anderson as Jack O Neil. he is so fucking amazing his humor and his timing the way he talks haha.

[@waffleczar7781]

Jack O’Neal, the only man too keep the stargate program interesting

[@loganshaw4527]

Jack: Thor buddy.

[@michagrill9432]

"Im a man of very few words" _beams away_

[@ajrojaras]

Haha, after the Ashley video I needed a good laugh and this provided me with one! Thanks, that was awesome. The colonel line is still one of my favourites.

[@DoubleTreble1518]

Aww, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it :) -Rinette:D

[@copperstahl5132]

This is actually one of my favorite videos on YT. Love it, great work! :D

[@kickinblue]

Love it. Seriously, one of the best videos on you tube and I've favourited alot over the years

[@normaparson6973]

Hilarious. And it was made even more so by the music and the fact that the only other time I have heard that music was as the ducks were waddling away in Aristocats.

[@jebatman756]

Future projects note: Music is too loud, can barely hear the dialogue. Otherwise, nice compilation.

[@DoubleTreble1518]

Aww thank you so much! I'm happy that you liked it! -Rinette:D

[@hillkatback]

OMG! that was fantastic. I loved the scenes and the music. It was hilarious.

[@DoubleTreble1518]

LOL! Thank you so much! I really appreciate your comment! -Rinette:D

[@DavidRitko]

Jack made the show!

[@PerfectAlibi1]

And when he left, it all went to pot! :\

[@pforce9]

David Ritko Jack made the show and Creighton ruined it with his corny lines.

[@lianakriebel]

Favorite character in the entire SG universe! That's why I stopped watching SG-1 after season 8...guest appearances aren't enough. Need to be in every episode making some wisecrack.

[@pforce9]

Liana Kriebel When Jack made a wisecrack, it was really funny, When Creighton made what he thought was a wisecrack, we all said WTF?

[@lianakriebel]

Plus, Jack had such good chemistry with the rest of the team. Jack respected each of his team members, and he could also tease each of them unique to the situation or the person.

[@JelloDVDs]

This is the best stargate list with clips video -I phrased that badly- I have ever seen. Those would so be his rules if he had said them during a episode. Great job! The music was a little loud in places but it added alot to the humour of the whole thing.

[@ManniGaming]

Anti-Content-ID Claim Music TOO FUCKING LOUD!

[@RMJ1984]

As much as i love Stargate SG1 a huge part of it was because of O'neil, without him the show was never quite the same.

[@JokeeGA5]

THis was brilliant! I was laughing hard :D Thumb Up mate, definitely a thumb up.

[@sieg8463]

Miss Stargate🥰🤩. Had so much fun binge watching both SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis.

[@TheMeanAdmin]

- Our cameras saw some sort of weapon! - Oh... It's hard to say. - Some sort of state secret? - Nah, just difficult to pronounce...

[@priitmolder6475]

"Lose it. You know, go crazy. Bananas, bonzo. Lose ones faculties. Three fries short of a happy meal....WHACKO!!!!"

[@lordmech]

this was pretty funny stuff keep up the good work

[@picardythirds]

wow. seriously, that's one of the best fan videos I've come across in a long time. You didn't just have music, you had a storyline and a point and the scenes you picked illustrated those points in awesome ways. great job.

[@ValosTaonas]

This is very good - it had me laughing all the way to the end. I watched it again& thought another rule would be good: Set a good example. When Jack says he knew Daniel was going to say that in Window of Opportunity, Daniel says of course he was going to said that (don't remember really) and when Jack says that he would've not believed he was looping in time if Teal'c hadn't been having the same thing and asked if he looked like a crazy man(w/goatee&all) "Bad Example" was his replies in both.

[@zender2004]

hahah good job for uploading this material is so damn funny to remember all the scenes !

[@phenioxgirl]

OMG this is flipping EPIC!!! I am so happy to know that someone out there loves RDA as much as I can appreciated him and ONeill as much as I did. I MISS SG1 (and SGA, I misses me some John Sheppard ]: lol )

[@Ikonicre]

Needs more "Window of Opportunity" bits, where O'Neill and Teal'c keep repeating the same 11hrs. Carter: "Maybe you read my report." Jackson: "Maybe he -read- your report?" Not to mention the crazy stuff O'Neill starts trying, like pottery, golfing, juggling, kissing Carter; okay the latter makes perfect sense :-)

[@DaveNacca]

Thank you for this; it was a great pleasure to watch! I wish I had more than 1 Thumbs Up! to give. Kudos!

[@DoubleTreble1518]

@PS89 Oh that last clip with Daniel is from season 10 it's an episode called The Shroud :)

[@One1Desire]

This is just perfectly done, thank you for uploading it. You are very talented! My compliments and keep going, you've got the feeling for this kind of thing.

[@ChildOL]

One of the best TV characters to ever exist

[@PinkiTadinki]

Gotta love Colonel Jack O'Neill.

[@Soliy87]

"They appear to be amassing a few troops"

[@poja82]

Baal-You cant be serious Jack-Yes i can, i just choose not to... Genious

[@kevinjasper6620]

I love it when he talks with Ba'al.

[@teriwolfe7092]

OK, just found you've transcribed most of it, which is a big help! :)

[@beth6787]

This is awesomely brilliant!!

[@amycloudangel]

Awesome!! LOL!! O'Neil is full of awesomeness!

[@williamwinder5011]

He hides it well but being a colonel in the Air Force means he has at least some measure of intelligence.

[@DoubleTreble1518]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! -Rinette:D

[@lazyperfectionist1]

1969 was a year of very high tensions in the Cold War. A lot of people in the US were making it a point to learn a bit of Russian. Don't cast suspicion on Daniel just because he happens to fall into this category.

[@NarrowAscent]

Super hilarious I could have done without the annoying music but it was fun to relive this. Such a great series

[@jkirbstar1990]

Oh man this is just too good!

[@TheRedLittleGirl]

I think I love you for making this. xD

[@Ama-hi5kn]

"Impudence!" Though tuna is a nice replacement.

[@awqedaedbnfgvftg2324]

Вы советский шпион? Нет. xD

[@carramelmonkey]

LMFAO THAT WAS AMAZING. I love your vids!

[@tomf3150]

Forgot one: 8) Acknowledge your strengths: Daniel: So you need someone dumber than you ? O'Neill: You may have come to the right place...

[@cresmix]

Big, huge smile on my face :)))))))

[@kuro68000]

The music really ruins it

[@chalim2050]

5

[@sarahandres2168]

Love this! Excellent job!

[@ScoobyCristi]

I love your vid! Laughed like crazy

[@treegoddess45]

This always makes me smile. :) thx

[@SyrezProductions]

SG-1 is the only TV series I will happily watch reruns of over and over. On my 4th way through the entire series atm and I have yet to see the day when I don't laugh at O'Niell's dry sarcasm. =L

[@Daehawk]

Little gray butts. God I miss this show, those times, those actors and characters. So much awesome back then.

[@AryaaStark]

So watch it again. Theres HD sources on tpb.

[@ChrisDyn1]

The Wraith were terrifying to begin with, I wish they maintained that instead of the tame, easy to kill, far from threatening things they later were.

[@1987slim]

I wasn't talking about the cancellation. Yes it was cancelled in a flash, but after that it faded away, then became a cult a bit too late to bring it back. I don't want to see the same thing happen to Atlantis with so much potential left in the show.

[@rainynight02]

Annoyed at first, but that was too cute to be mad at

[@poesjedraakje]

OMG OMG OMG OMG... I REALY laughed my behind of on this one. Well inturnaly anyway since my bf is sounds asleep next to me wouldn't want to wake him up roling over the floor laughing now would I. But this was briliant I LOVED IT. I always have had a soft spot for Daniel And Jack so I loved the DID NOT, DID TO parts. BUt then again I loved it all. I hope u will do more of this... Maybe one with a very inteligant linguist *hint hint LOL*

[@declanfaughey8471]

IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BACKSWING.

[@theartofnina]

This is gold

[@mjones207]

Very, VERY nicely done!

[@Mattboesch8917]

i love rule number 4: piss off the bad guys.

[@macjackfan]

Seems like I have seen this before, but it's still really funny. I agree. RDA is really funny. I'm glad they gave him lots of leeway with the character as far as humor. Richard would make a good comedian. ;-) I like what Jack says about the O'Neill with one L. He had no sense of humor. lol Thanks for making this. And thanks for posting the rules. :-)

[@DoubleTreble1518]

LOL! So epic :) Thanks so much for the comment! I'm glad you liked it! -Rinette:D

[@PetetheNorwegian]

The music is super appropriate

[@leogetz3570]

Stargate Atlantis episode "Vegas". Woolsey, Zelenka, and McKay are trying to find a Wraith on Earth. (Zelenka)...it's possible he's gone into hiding and trying to blend in. (McKay) sarcastically.....sure, he probably got a job at Star Trek the Experience. (Woolsey)....no, that shut down. (Zelenka)....damn, I wanted to visit that

[@MelvinCruz]

the backgroud too high but remember his best moments...priceles hahahahahaha

[@renodangelo]

That was awesome. Well done. xD

[@SuperGodlike101]

The Ancients would have known that the nanosecond they arrived, and they would have had a nasty fight on their hands, one they would have probabily lost.

[@SuperGodlike101]

And also the Wraith, who are a pretty scary bunch all on their own.

[@turbodaxter1]

They need to bring back Stargate

[@SuperGodlike101]

You are right about one thing. The Replicators were indeed OP. The device on Dakara was the last hope of defeating them. The writers would have to come up with yet another super-weapon capable of destroying them all at once, and that would be ridiculous. Besides, SGA held great promise and some awsome potential bad guys in the rogue Asgard. There was potential for some real emotional conflict there, seeing the dark side of a species we came to know as noble and benevolent.

[@DSborg15]

Soldier "You Soviet spies?" (In russian) Daniel "No!" (In Russian) Jack "Daniel!" Soldier "Come with me" at 3:45 Rofl

[@jojojaad]

Lol, la dernière partie est très drôle ( ne jamais révéler sa véritable identité)

[@chloemorrison5203]

This is great :P:D

[@Digga1992]

really cool.... especially the music xD

[@erikmon1989]

Ah, Good Ol'e Jack O 'Neill! What We Do Without You? Wait, Don't Answer That. LOL ^_^

[@DoubleTreble1518]

@Lil2k If you mean the part where he says "Daniel" it's from season 10 episode 14 The Shroud.

[@Caseytify]

What bugs me is that by 1969 James T. Kirk was a fairly well-known name. The Intelligence guy should have picked up on that right away.

[@NonPlayerCharacterLP]

like i said, i've been streaming them off Netflix all week.

[@ChrisDyn1]

Firefly was cancelled almost in a flash, it didn't slowly fade lol.

[@Desertpuma]

Gotta love O'Neill

[@megaearplugger]

1:31 Seriously? How could he keep it up for so many years.

[@Dodgyboy43]

" are you soviet spies" "nyet.." lol