Downsides of the Oppa, Eonni culture in Korea [TalkToMeInKorean]

[@SimplySuzy33]

I honestly don't know if it's just my family or a Dutch thing in general, but my grandparents (on both sides) always made sure I voiced my own opinion and I was 100% free to correct them if they were wrong. If anything, that openness made me respect them even more :) Plus, I felt closer to them, because I could speak to them freely.

[@talktomeinkorean]

+Simply Suzy That is really awesome!!

[@Back-Space.]

Ik ben ook Nederlands en ik ben ook zo opgegroeid. :)

[@nonocoollll]

Same here in Belgium ^^

[@nigelmulliniz4021]

Simply Suzy too bad I have to respect all my elders And I'm the youngest cousin on my mother's side of the family. Eh they treat me kinda like equals tho BUT STILL

[@emiv592]

Simply Suzy I think its a dutch thing in general, teachers also want you to speak up

[@KT0000]

“I am your teacher as much as you are my teacher” -this should go for any age

[@libertangel]

This is so true! My best friend is 16 years younger than me, and we have taught each other a looot of things. We are dancers, I introduced him to popping and he dived into it and now he's soo good and teaches me. Makes me really happy.

[@kori228]

That reminds me, I believe there was a line from the Analects of Confucius about treating knowledgeable people as teachers regardless of their age or something.

[@lizbethrubio2725]

@@libertangel I love how you guys are able to learn things from each other. My Best Friend is also younger than me but by 7 years.

[@emmyloubauer9217]

I completely agree with you. This was literally the only problem I had while living in Korea. Of course, since I'm a foreigner I didn't get treated as harshly when it comes to this system, but they also sort of dismissed my ideas cuz I was just 'a crazy westerner' to a lot of people - no matter what I had to say. It's sort of the same feeling as someone dismissing your arguments 'because you're younger', or whatever. It makes me really depressed that people can't have serious conversations based of equal levels of respect.

[@anawkwardsweetpotato4728]

I've noticed that with Koreans, seniority is often abused. Hyungs and noonas (mainly hyungs) tend to be a little pushy and order their juniors around, kind of asserting dominance over them knowing that they won't be held accountable. The juniors rarely confront the issue for reasons that Hyunwoo-ssi mentioned. Sometimes it's endearing, but other times, it's a little blood-boiling. I know K-dramas are a horrible example, but this reminds me of "Cheese in the Trap" when Kim Sang Cheol, Seol's senior, kept using his seniority to make college experience easier (making juniors buy him meals, use their homework, not letting them have a say, etc.). He got on my nerves so much!!!

[@Kt-cn2rq]

Jasoghntao Vasrghen lol Heirs was just as bad or boys over flower.

[@anawkwardsweetpotato4728]

Ugh, I almost forgot about Heirs. xD I kind of assumed Kim Tan's character was more of a chaebol thing.

[@mimi-rl4mz]

sangchul acted like he was smart and worth more even though he wasn't actually that smart and he kept using other people to do his work while he was going to bars with his friends. when seol stood up to him or when she didn't give him her studying notes etc. he pulled the senior card and got mad at her even though she had every right to do that

[@yRaMsKee14]

Gosh I hated Sang Cheol's character!

[@catch_me_if_you_can6596]

why are horrible examplesthey perfectly show the korean culture

[@20quid]

I think the aspect of comradery and fraternity that you talk about with the Oppa, Eonni culture really is a beautiful thing. The problem, from my point of view, is the idea of respect. I like to think of respect like money, people can earn it and people can lose it depending on their actions and how they treat you. However, in most cultures (including my own) the attitude is that for some people respect is deserved and not earned. Just like how you can be a Lord or a Prince, not because of what you have done, but because of things you cannot control. When we make decisions on what to say and how to act, if we are thinking in terms of how we can earn and keep respect, then our actions are a lot more respectful. However, if you can never gain or lose respect, then there is less pressure to act in a respectful way and there are no consequences for (as you say) 'weaponising' your status. I think a lot of what is great about the Oppa, Eonni culture can be preserved. However, much like how we have replaced kings and queens with presidents and prime ministers who have to earn their position, I think we as a society need to rethink who is deserving of the titles of Oppa and Eonni and how they earn and keep that status within their circle of friends.

[@Baybehho]

20quid 👏 perfectly put

[@stellat.5398]

20quid Wow, I've been thinking the same but couldn't put it into words and here you just did so effortlessly. Thank you for voicing this opinion :)

[@user-ez5vq9fd2t]

Eloquently said.

[@erkkipekka4750]

20quid One thing that gives koreans pressure to act respectful is their (and their families') pride tho

[@SotonskaTamburica]

Wow, very well put A+

[@rootytooty9808]

Its is very interesting to see how people interact with each other from a cultural standpoint. In western culture we tend decide how to treat each other on an individual basis depending on our personal experience with each other, not so much a preset older and younger person relationship.

[@stebbie2881]

I was talking to a friend about this the other day! I'm from the West coast of America (Washington), but I'm also from a part Hawaiian family. My Grandma's almost full islander, my mom is half, I'm 1/4. The rest of my family is white. When I address elders I don't know, I usually stick to something neutral, like "sir" or "ma'am". Once I know their name and am relatively close to them, I start calling them by their first name. However! Apparently that's not normal to a friend of mine who is from Florida! She calls her elders (say, her friend's parents) "Miss/Misses/Mister (Last Name)". It might be a society thing from our areas, or it might be a cultural thing I've grown up around. I call my elders by their name, not by a title. In Hawaiian culture, those around your age are your cousins, where people older than you (around your parent's age) are your "auntie" or "uncle." I'm very curious about this. Please let me know if you call elders by their name or by a title!

[@vantqe]

As a Filipino, I was always told to put “po” in my sentences because it shows respect. whenever someone’s older or you’re serving them, always have “po”. And also for my grandmas and grandpas, I would call them Lolo ______ or Lola ______. For aunts/uncles/anyone a generation olde than me, that’d be Tito _____ or Tita ____ and as for people the same generation as me, but older, I’d call them Kuya ____ or Ate _____. Only friends or cousins (not even then, unless you’re like a year or less apart) can be called by just first names, otherwise it’s very disrespectful.

[@bbyoongi9923]

It took me until the end of the video to realize that it is a WHALE on his shirt

[@TheRizGuy]

I didn't get it until I read your comment.

[@BearingMySeoul]

I love you. 😂😂😂

[@summersunnysmile]

i just laughed :D hahahah I never thought it was a whale

[@giorj2598]

It looks like a pantyliner/napkin for me

[@CarlyndraTM]

OH! It is!

[@elisabethgrace117]

Something that I've experienced personally, is people abusing the fact that they're older. In my school there is a guy who is about two years older than everyone else and so he bullies everyone and the younger ones can't do anything about it out of respect. He straight up beats them and it's really sad cause he's already a lot bigger than them. They also feel like they can't protect anyone from the older guy. One of my friends told me that I should just ignore him when he's mean to me and he told me "I can't do anything to help because he's older. It would be different if we were the same age or if he was younger." And that's really a shame.

[@Kaylaabrown8428]

Elisabeth Grace I'm sorry but I have a very cut throat attitude when it comes to people just being mean. I would've kicked his ass. You ain't got no right to be putting your hands on other people just because your two years older!

[@quwandathornton]

Elisabeth Grace report him? Have his ass handed by the principal?

[@Kt-cn2rq]

Tykaysia Brown haha same i wouldn't take that shit.

[@mariaivanova8192]

I also go to school in Korea...and that's so true...just tell a teacher or the principal...

[@toujoursbelle5722]

Elisabeth Grace that's so bad ..WHoever that bully was needs a beat👊

[@lolitarachmadian2850]

In my opinion, Korea is one of the countries that still strongly holds the eastern norms, one of which is this seniorism culture. It's a beautiful thing if people don't utilize it to their advantages (like you said, the older use it as a weapon to enforce his/her arguments, or the younger use it as an excuse to always be taken care of). However, i want to add one more disadvantage from this seniorism culture: The domino effect. People (who used to be the younger ones, and often got overpowered by the older ones) tend to pass their hatred from this seniorism culture by making 'revenge' to their younger acquintances. It keeps happening through generations, and not only in Korea, but other part of the worlds, as well.

[@Rose19002]

you are awesomely knowledgeable yo. you get itttt. i dont know what it is but you just got it.

[@irulahmad6885]

Yups i agree with your opininon...

[@Backflipgal12]

It’s like, in clubs, the senior members hazing the freshmen. They justify it saying, “I had to do it so, so do you!” But they don’t actually consider ending the whole practice, making everyone more comfortable.

[@user-pp4pu1eo4b]

it's pretty much the same in high schools.... the second-years bully the first-years the most because they suddenly have the opportunity to

[@chironlionel6770]

I agree, it is found in many other places..I disliked that when I was a child in France for example even if not as strong perhaps as for korean culture..

[@MissMartianDCAU]

I honestly feel like this unni/oppa thing is nothing more than a superiority complex disguised as "respect". It's disgusting how people older than me think how much better they are. At least, that's my experience.

[@Adoubless]

You are correct, being right and earning respect is not mutually exclusive.

[@Childfreedollar]

Because that is it!! Atleast where I'm from (philippines) we do use honorifics but not as extreme as koreans or japanese people

[@hlly20]

@@Childfreedollar yeah, we use ate or kuya and we respect them but not to the point of not correcting them when they're wrong

[@toughsoftieyogi]

@@Childfreedollar Exactly. We're not as particular about age as Koreans although some parents would not allow their kids to voice their opinion just because they're younger.

[@88macchan_]

Same for me - Japanese here

[@marias4597]

Honestly I see here a lot more negative things than positive. I personally hate when older people act like they're wiser or smarter just because of their age, not because they achieve something special or they're just good people. When I see it in k-dramas I get so mad :D But it's another beautiful culture and I respect it, even tho don't understand.

[@marias4597]

ChocolateChip Muffins786 it depends on life experience, not age. And I do not understand my grandparents in 95% issues because we grew up in different environments. They know when to plant potatoes and I know how to use iPhone. In some things they are smarter than me, in some things it's me who is wiser and more educated. This is not about disrespect, it's about using age as an opportunity to manipulate. I just think no matter what elders should respect younger generation too. In Korea even if you born 20 minutes earlier you're oppa or unnie anyway.

[@hansoogi]

Ma Ry Lee I appreciate the roles in society. it gives a pleasant order to the way things are. just my humble opinion, but I do not correlate wisdom to operating gadgets in the 21st century. The elderly and older as in grew up at least 30 years ago, have much more experience with real life issues and families...I think that's the purpose of the respect..to listen and to use your youthful know-how to help out of respect

[@marias4597]

AI Naz I agree. They know a lot more about real communication and general stuff that I only want to know. I'm just against people who're teaching how to live and what to do when they didn't achieve anything in life or never were humble, fair-minded, helpful, accepting or kind. I'm not going to listen to them. Teens need to have good examples, it is important

[@blerdyveetv]

In my opinion I don't see that as part of the Oppa Unnie culture. I'm not Korean but it seems people who have the title Oppa, or Unnie have responsibilities to their dongsaengs and look after them, and in return the dogsaengs respect their kindness. However there are those who abuse that power. But I don't look at that as a disadvantage to the unnie oppa culture because people abuse their power with almost everything. Parenthood, political titles, celebrities, the rich, etc. But hey I can be wrong

[@kupiamilanika]

Ma Ry Lee I agree. I hate when I see characters in dramas shout 'wehhhh wehhhh!!!' Hit others' head and stuff. Just so wrong

[@leiguozhi4625]

I wasn't wearing my glasses and at first I thought it was Jinyoung from got7 and was like "what's he doing on this?"

[@carowindschic3528]

Lei Guozhi lmao

[@toujoursbelle5722]

Lei Guozhi lol😂😂

[@sunshineyrainbows13]

same tho

[@DJ-el3ry]

He look like an actor from the drama oh my ghostnes he was chef

[@Maria-hq6dh]

D J THE SOUS CHEF RIGHT??? THE ONE THAT WAS THE SECOND HAND BASICALLY TO THE ACTUAL CHEF😂😂 I SEE IT

[@Andrei-yv8fz]

Age shouldn't be used as a weapon. I wouldn't tell someone they can't present an argument just because I am hyeong nor do I think I know everything, but also younger people should be open minded and listen when someone elder gives advice instead of immediately shutting them down. I know that some young people will not ever consider advice and instead think they know everything when they don't. There is no sense of being humble. So there are two sides. In general, everyone should be open minded. But no, age shouldn't be used as a weapon. Respect goes both ways.

[@mandarinenzeittv860]

This is an interesting topic for me, as a gyopo/Third Culture Kid. My first year at university (here in New Zealand), I was just SO intimidated by my sunbaes; it was actually really surprising to discover how deeply ingrained some of this mentality was in mind. Even the ones that were only one year ahead of me seemed to be sooo much older and wiser and worldlier! I felt a lot of one-sided awkwardness trying to fit in - because, of course, nobody else here has that sunbae/hoobae distinction in their minds, so to them I was probably just acting weird xD - and I didn't speak up as much as I should have with my ideas, so that was a huge downside. :(

[@lottewalravens1650]

I Zeit (귤TV)

[@wordzmyth]

Are you still in New Zealand? Here you get the right to be cool for being young, you probably know stuff that older people don't :) ( My youngest sister is annoyingly cool about memes). It was probably just the totally new situation that slowed you down, anyone would be awkward at first. I hope that you have been able to relax and find your people, whether they be older or younger. The funny thing is Korea is the centre of TV and music stardom in the world now, the way America used to be, so your culture is now globally popular :).

[@EllieStrums]

This is so true. My older cousin wil use "older than/younger than" excuses to try and get her way. She studies the Japanese culture which I'm sure is different than Korean culture in a lot of ways. She constantly switches between "I'm older than you, you can't tell me anything." when I give advice and "She isn't even that younger than me!" when being told what to do by our elders. It's annoying! My grandma used to shut anyone down with the "You listen to me! Respect your elders." There's a big difference between respect and our own thoughts. I respect you... But this way would be a lot better.

[@ineedmysyq]

Oh my god this is so true with older sisters. It just drives me crazy, absolutely no logic!! I wanna smack someone when she starts saying that

[@12blaxx]

Ellie Strums My cousin used to do the same thing. (We're black, FWIW) It wasn't until I was 12 that I learned she was only 3 months older than me. I'm 44 now & still kind of resent her for that.

[@piotrkowalczyk9608]

Ellie Strums How old are you? Enough to know more than yo do about this matter. That's how I do it.

[@donnatoye7915]

I'm in my 60s and I talk to younger people if they talk about a subject and explain I will listen to all they have to say because they probably know more then me and I would say thank you .You have to remember the younger people might know more then you on things in this world that you don't know. Just like my daughter, Soninlaw, grandchildren.

[@talktomeinkorean]

+donna toye That's great!! : ) We need more people like you in Korea.

[@caitlin4128]

that's really nice to hear. i respect that attitude!

[@donnatoye7915]

Talk To Me In Korean thank you back I would love to see Korea it looks like a beautiful country. from Pennsylvania America

[@tnuoccaeht]

I love the tone you're trying to set here.

[@Adrasteia__]

Very interesting video. To be honest this system is a part of korean culture I absolutely dislike! I'm polite to everyone, because everyone deserves respect, formal speech is for strangers, informal for ppl you are close to. I would feel so offended, if ppl close to me would use formal speech. I was also taught to respect my elders, but there is a difference between respect and a "free card". Not having the same amount of respect, because of age, social stand, religion or whatever is very, very rude, especially in a culture that seems to care about being polite. Furthermore it hinders progress in society, science and technology, because most of the time not the oldest people have the best ideas. 😧 I already get frustrated just thinking about all the lost opportunities and potential!

[@v.8097]

agree

[@warzy01]

I agree if the wright brothers did listen to the older people around them without question we would not be able to fly today fo exemple XD...

[@ameliateo92]

actually... this culture can also be found in the chinese/asian culture too! :( which is quite upsetting at times.

[@MaruskaStarshaya]

actually you can let your yongers to speak panmal to you, but it will be kept only if you are both alone, while there's another person they will switch to chondenmal

[@ShiaGirl18]

I would feel offended as well if someone I'm close with uses formal speech. That indicates the person's attitude towards you/ what they think of their relationship with you.

[@NoirN3rd]

This is the part of Korean culture I could do without. I wouldn't mind the titles but the assumed roles and responsibilities would have to go. I am quick witted and tend to forget that, which does get me Into trouble at times. But it's that same wit and snark that has gotten me respect in the past.

[@M.elonade]

I'm obviously watching this video late.... but.... I have seen both of these situations happen. I have a Korean friend who is about 9 years older than me, and we are obviously very friendly and she treats me like a younger sister, but when I have an opinion different from hers, although she doesn't say it directly.... she may say "yeah but you're young so I think you don't understand this well, I know it better" even though we are talking about something I have far more experience in. That can be a bit frustrating. Secondly with the same friend she has a younger brother. Both of them are studying english but hers was always better than his. In the last 2 years or so his english has really improved and the gap between their skills has decreased, but his whole family constantly tells him that he is worse, he constantly tells me.... ahh but my sister is better... or stays very quiet when his sister is present and all three of us are speaking english. So i think this is where I have see the glass wall.

[@ianpolitano07]

I would say that I completely agree. Seeing as this video is about the downsides, I will mainly focus only on my experiences with that. I used to live with Korean roommates back in the states. And although I am not Korean, because I was into Korean culture, they tried to "teach" me the ways of Korean culture. I was the youngest, and what I saw was that in many matters, my opinions on what I thought were ignored if it went against their way of thinking. It didn't matter that we were in America, and I am American. I remember once we were at a party and everyone was drunk, and they wanted to go bowling. The oldest two guys tried to force the younger Korean girl (who had a car) to drive 8 people (in a 5 seat car) to the bowling alley. She had also been drinking. When she indirectly said no, they kept trying to pressure her into agreeing, and finally she caved in. Then I told them no. And pulled her aside and said no. They all got pissed at me because I 'ruined' the mood, and told me Korean culture dictated that we all had to do what the older guys wanted to do. I told my roommates, well if you all get arrested because you are all drunk, you could all get deported. It didn't matter how logical I was being, and how illogical they were--in the end my arguments were invalid. Another experience is I notice with my girlfriend when she talks to older people, even just a year or two older, she always respects what they think--especially to their face. If they say something, in the conversation she will just agree, or say something along the lines of, "Wow I didn't know that..." Later when I ask her, you don't actually believe that did you? She replies with a no. So I always tell her, you should just be honest. I know speaking frankly is not always the case in Korea when there is an age gap. I know a lot of situations where I have seen friends hide their inner thoughts when talking to another person in fear of offending them. What I have learned from living in Korea is that sometimes you just have to accept what an older person says--whether or not you follow their advice is up to you...

[@birdeynamnam]

That just sounds... scary to me

[@CarolineForest]

I am currently learning korean, just learned the letters and (somewhat) how to read... and some words... I already know alot of basic culture and suff, but videos like this might let me learn not just 'tourist' information, so thank you!

[@anishaali3825]

Caroline Forest I'm learning Korean too!! I can read the language fluently and I work on grammar once a week. I learn some vocabulary everyday so I'm vastly improving!! Hope you take the language seriously!!

[@CarolineForest]

I do, I just started though. I know most letters from memory now (but I do have a cheat sheet if I am unsure) and I read a little korean every day. I also work on grammar. I watch Jenny every sunday when she teaches korean on Chuutalk Like (On FB... she is Korean and she teaches korean). I can now read fluently and I can not keep a conversation in korean yet. But I try... and I have a notebook where I write everything I learn in, and my friends get really annoyed that I keep using korean with them, but I need the practice.... xD

[@jaydeprincess2000]

Anisha Ali Do you have any tips of learning Korean?

[@anishaali3825]

Jayda D'Amico Well, I recommend using the app Memrise, it's free!! it'll help you boost your vocabulary and help you memorise the words. its pretty fun too!! Try watching videos and listen carefully to the Korean and pick out some phrases you know. Always practise the words so you don't forget them!!

[@jaydeprincess2000]

Anisha Ali thank you for the tips!

[@kittyykatie]

wow this is surprisingly similar to Mexican culture, if you are older you get immediate respect from the younger people

[@MarieMaia445]

I completely disagree. Americans may be young but we have our own subcultures such as in New Jersey with Indian-Americans and Italian-Americans. It's no less diluted because of how close we are with our mother culture. Black Americans have their own system of respect based on remnant ideologies of slavery. Japanese and Chinese Americans who have been here quite a long while have their own version of it but it's not diluted simply because it's different from the "mother" culture. And the reason they pointed out European white families is because European-Americans ie. Spanish, Portuguese, German, etc. . but ARE white is a thing just as black american, Jamaican, Afro-carribeans, Guyanese etc. . or Chinese/Japanese/Korean/Filipino/Vietnamese/Burmese etc. . . living in those countries are a thing. In the US, we're aware of how multifaceted ethnic groups can be from, speak as, or appear as and still firmly be of that people. Food for thought.

[@kattykleo8579]

In the US, age is still a big deal, but we just don't take it as seriously as in other cultures. We're not usually "in awe" of older people, though we will treat them with a little more respect and formality... usually. You will see older people in the US put down younger ones in arguments and say things like, "I've been around a lot longer than you!" or "When you grow up, then you'll know...", etc. lol, but the younger ones aren't always that impressed. Or they won't act like it. They'll keep arguing with you, although secretly they may follow your advice later. I guess that is the main difference. We like to put on a rebellious front and question what we're told. Kids are allowed to be more free-thinking. The problem with that is that if you let them go too far, they can become spoiled brats that are impossible to deal with.

[@MarieMaia445]

Honestly, American culture doesn't respect teachers in general. We pay them the bare minimum to educate the future generations. And we tell people when they're not a professional in their field, they might as well be a teacher as if the position is a slightly upgraded McDonald's one.

[@nikkim7038]

Yes, but when the age gap is smaller the difference is not that bad. In here you can talk however you want with someone in a 5 year range close to your age. In Korea (fron what I've heard from my cousin that lives there) you're expected to adress someone more respectfully even if they're only one year apart.

[@OLGA-io1kp]

I don't think it's that important in mexican culture, we do use honorifics when there are large age gaps, but not by one year, and we call everyone by their name no matter age, we just kind of add their position when they so much older, like "teacher Roberto!"

[@loveandlavender11]

I really appreciated hearing your perspective on this topic. I've seen some of the positive and negative effects you mentioned. I admire the respect I've noticed so many people giving those who are older and I think many other cultures could learn important lessons from that but, at the same time, the respect should go both ways. Unfortunately, I've also seen examples of older people being rude to someone who's younger just because they can. Of course, that's not the majority of people, but I have seen it. Edited to add: I think you did a great job expressing your opinions on a sensitive topic^^

[@corner559]

Age is one of the WORST aspects of Korean culture. It puts up artificial barriers and keeps people from reaching their full potential when elders are around.

[@w0mblemania]

And the culture of youth is one of the worst aspects of Western culture. It's a shallow mindset that rewards flashiness, excitement and appearances over substance and experience. In Western culture, old age is a bad thing. We put people in retirement homes, insulating them from the rest of the world. We don't want to think about ageing, and death, and our media is super-saturated with youth-oriented imagery. We spend vast sums of money trying to keep youthful appearances, and we routinely judge people on their age.

[@camillaa_ek]

@@w0mblemania and that's exactly what people do in korea as well. Plastic surgery and skin care products to keep yourself from looking old. You have to look at this situation from two sides before you take a stance. Otherwise you're not neutral and lose your credibility.

[@britato1993]

its not just korea lol its east asia in general because im from hongkong and elders always think they are better than younger people like us and show no respect 😒

[@beepboop8276]

All these points in the thread are valid and interesting in how they bounce off each other ^^^

[@randomyoutubeuser9465]

w0mbles that happens everywhere and isn’t exclusively a western thing. Plastic surgery is booming and it’s mainly being used to make you look younger and that is happening all over the world. Experience can only get you so far because not everything you experience is holy grail in every situation. More experience doesn’t always equal more knowledge.

[@intoxinoire]

I really like how you have real, concrete examples which makes it easier to understand 😄 Good work. It's very easy to understand and follow you

[@k-dramatoday8901]

Awesome video, 현우씨! I've noticed that "older is always right" in Korea. Foreigners who romanticize Korea sometimes forget how annoying this can be. At the same time, I've learned a lot about my own American culture from being here. I hadn't realized how brutally competitive American society is until I came to Gwangju. In the US, we say we have no hierarchies, but everyone is constantly trying to beat everyone else. It's exhausting. And even though people of any age can argue with each other, most people are only friends with people their own ages. (I'm not sure why.) I wonder if you can get rid of the bad parts of oppa/eonni culture without also damaging the good parts. In my own white American culture, I think the good and the bad can't be separated easily. I would love to ditch the hyper-competitiveness, but it's the "dark side" of our (pretty good) belief that everyone has an equal chance in life. Is ageism the inevitable "dark side" of Korea being one big family? P.S. A student called me unni today--because she was trying to get me to agree with her about something. And it totally worked! I melted. (I should note she's a student I liked already, so I didn't get annoyed.) It was so much harder to mark her down after the "unni attack." It's amazing how powerful these little words are. And amazing there's no equivalent in English!

[@talktomeinkorean]

+K-Drama Today 😀 hahaha I love how you named it the "unni attack" :D I think one way to keep the respectful oppa eonni culture while instilling more logical thinking and the ability to argue logically is through education. Classes in school need to encourage more debates.

[@k-dramatoday8901]

Totally agree about education. Korean public schools do some things really well, but they don't make time for debate--or anything else that doesn't show up on the college entrance exam. But my students are eager to discuss when they get the chance, so I'm hopeful.

[@lewis6590]

I think that's a good idea, but people in North America find it hard to resist fallacies for the sake of winning an argument, too. In the heat of losing an argument, it's tempting to rely on your age as a trump card. In this culture, it is hard for the younger people to find the courage to confront societal norms, and hard for the older people to find the courage not to rely on them. Even as a foreigner, I've felt both while living here. I can only imagine how the average ajumma or middle school student must feel!

[@winterbear1182]

as a outsider with korean friends i think koreans studying in international schools are more open minded since they see many people from other culture an dont stick too much to the tradition at least when they are in school

[@salwanausheenbariah4300]

BELIEVE ME!! that culture runs in Asian blood!! the concept of oppa, unni, noona hyung, and everyhting that comes with it. ofcourse there are slight variations depending on the country and traditons of that country, but the base line is the same!! btw i am from india!

[@warzy01]

Then i guess that asian is submissive by nature then right?? Dumbass its not genetic its just a cultural thing ...

[@earl3952]

warzy01 No Asians are just respectful and more cooperative.

[@salwanausheenbariah4300]

warzy01 i didnt literally mean genetics....it was just a way of saying thet it is deep rooted in our culture and won't be easy to change...

[@salwanausheenbariah4300]

King Goken exactly

[@pandascoops]

I highly agree with this. We're just more into family-oriented than we are individualistic. We also pay higher importance in giving respect to those older than us, so much to the point where we have these terms that refer to those older than us and where we use those on a daily basis. It's a traditional/cultural thing now, mostly in thr Asian culture.

[@at7999]

Love your videos. They help me understand the language and culture so much. Always informative, clean editing and on point with the message.

[@talktomeinkorean]

+Ange T Thank you very much!

[@giaonguyen3799]

So, in Vietnamese, we have variety of "respectful" words like oppa, eonnie, hyung and noona too. I do like it tho, it makes me feel better because I feel a little bit weird when Americans can even call their grandma by name. But I actually surprised that Koreans use the method of older for arguments too, because that happened to me like tons of time, and it REALLY annoyed me. My family/especially my older sister would talk about something and when I say something that doesn't support their points and basically disagree then they will use the "you're still young, you can't say anything" or something like what you described. And I feel happy seeing you talking about this as a downside. Because in Vietnam, this is actually like a obvious things, like you cannot respond or complain about it because the respects you HAVE to give to your olders.

[@HannahNguyen1995]

Giao Nguyen Americans actually oftentimes address their grandmas with a nickname (not their real name) such as "Mimi" or "Nana." It's usually the grandma that gets to choose the nickname her grandchilds are going to address her with. It's very endearing if you ask me.

[@essabia]

Giao Nguyen I think that it is very rare to find an American who calls their grandparents by their first name. You can find them refer to them as Grandfather (first name) example Grandfather Joe or Grandmother Betty to distinguish between the two when speaking, same is true for uncles or aunts.

[@essabia]

Giao Nguyen I think that it is very rare to find an American who calls their grandparents by their first name. You can find them refer to them as Grandfather (first name) example Grandfather Joe or Grandmother Betty to distinguish between the two when speaking, same is true for uncles or aunts.

[@ebonymaw8457]

Which Americans have you heard calling their grandma by name? Lol

[@docalevy]

I see this in current dramas and shows. This "glass wall" as you say. While it can create support and bonds with friends..I can see that it can be interpreted in a not so helpful way. But this is part of the wonderful insight about how people from different cultures actually think. Understanding this is part of the rich fabric of cultures. It is exactly why I am so curious and interested in eastern cultures - people actually think differently! Thanks for sharing this.

[@talktomeinkorean]

Thank you so much!! : )

[@eliTUNE]

Thanks for this video! It is really an interesting topic and you brought up really good points that I never thought of or knew~ Please make more of these cultural videos :) Thank youuuu~~

[@talktomeinkorean]

+eli.TUNE Thanks a lot! We'll definitely make more culture-related videos.

[@eliTUNE]

yay!! 많이 기대할게요!~ :D

[@searcherlane1120]

new to the channel.... What do each of the nicknames mean or signifies ?

[@kylastewart4085]

searcher lane so Unnie/Eunnie and Oppa are used by girls to an older female(eunnie) or older male(oppa), while Noona and Hyung are used my males to older females(noona) or older male(hyung)

[@asmrARA]

video content is amazing lately, keep up the good work😊👌

[@TaeSunWoo]

Thankfully I haven't had any negatives with my 형들/누나들. Just recently made some 동생 friends though and that was a bit of shock when I became "형/오빠" ㅋㅋㅋ

[@winistarr]

yeah, I don't wanna be 형. it's kinda thing u should have responsibility. I don't like it.

[@TaeSunWoo]

박소미 ParkSomi I fixed it with my 동생들 by telling them that being super respectful was disrespecting me because my wish was for them to treat me as a friend and to be relaxed around me.

[@TaeSunWoo]

박소미 ParkSomi aye it's not a prob. Lemme know how it goes

[@quwandathornton]

태선우 is your name daeshaun? I was trying to read out your Hangul name sorry 😌

[@TaeSunWoo]

NamjoonStoleJimin's Jamsandsugatkookie oh my family name is 태(Tae) and my given name is 선우(sunwoo) just keep reading and practicing, it'll come more naturally. 화이팅!

[@jkbremer88]

I find this system very frustrating. I luckily don't have to stand by it because I am not Korean so in that case I will always play the foreigner card. But some people can't say no (or are strongly discouraged to say no) to drinking after work because 형 wants to drink. So many people (men mostly) would be happier and healthier (and possibly more productive in the workplace) if they felt they could opt out of drinking.

[@DesireeA842]

You don't necessarily have to drink just alcohol if someone older than you want to have a drink with you. There's nothing wrong with just being honest about it and if you just ask for water instead, at least you'd still be "drinking" with them. However, it would be rude to completely just reject your older companion's offer for a drink. Sorry for if there were any errors with my English, it is not my first language.

[@cabitsuchild9700]

I've only ever had one oppa, he found me very frustrating since I'm foreign and I'm a natural born debater and so he would often pull the "I'm older and wiser card" but I would keep on disagreeing and eventually he gave up but I felt a little guilty about how I used to talk to him before I properly knew about Korean culture.

[@kingsnowman7461]

5:26 Speaking of French, there's an old saying in French that puts all this conversation in perspective if not to rest. It goes like this: "Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait" which basically means: "If young people knew, if old people could". And that goes for every culture in the world not just Korean. Believe me, I'm not Korean but I'm old enough to know. 6:35 By the way, I like your "way of thinking".😊

[@woihjsd]

these are all great points. i have also noticed that conflicting opinions as a younger person isn't welcome and it's seen as disrespectful to contradict an 오빠/언니 (even if I'm more successful or knowledgable in a certain field.) it just restricts the kind of relationship i can have with someone even a year older than me. It feels like with Koreans, i can only have equal peer relationships with people who are my same age. i do like the advantages though... there is a sense of wanting to take care of my 동생. but i feel this way about all my friends, regardless of their age. pretty sure it comes from my Korean parents example.

[@talktomeinkorean]

+Terri Yeah it makes logical arguments very difficult at times :)

[@banexzeeper]

wow never thought of the downside to the honorifics. thanks for the insight! I enjoyed the video x3

[@TheEclecticRogue]

I remember my Korean friends telling me what they loved the most about Mexico was the warmth of its people and how you could be friends with anyone. Back then I thought they were exaggerating until I realized that it was because between Koreans they always keep their culture dynamic (they keep the hyung/noona - dongsaeng dynamic) but with people that are NOT Korean they are not expected to have any barriers, language and behavioral-wise, therefore they make friends as if everyone was their same age.

[@lisa-mariec7895]

Am I the only French person here who feels so proud when people from different countries say that they speak French ? 😄❤ . Well I feel that way, and nothing's better to make my day than hearing people say that they want to speak French or go to France. ❤

[@sarahs4008]

I think this is everywhere. Everytime you argue with someone older. You are the one being right, they would still say "I lived longer so how would know more things then me" which is kind of stupid

[@x.astar.x]

Lol when some one says that I have this crazy scenario lol XD while there saying 'I have lived longer you have now experience' and I'm thinkin "Bish while you were 2 years old still learning how to freaking talk I was freaking born 3 minutes ago and I already murfrikin escape north Korea twice and been I the millatery! Wbu?Oh yeah you were learning how to speak!' XD

[@Dev.85]

To a degree it is but here if you try to behave in a manner that essentially belittles another you get called out for it. So if you're going to behave superior at least have superior knowledge and/or wisdom because even if people frown upon it at least they'll acknowledge your intelligence/wisdom.

[@europegirlh2o]

The cultural aspect is super interesting! I would love to see more videos about cultural nuances. These are things that are really hard to pick up from textbooks.

[@joanncrawford5784]

Question: what if the older person does not have a lot of money. Are they allowed to gently tell the younger person, "I'm sorry, but I don't have the money to buy this for you."?

[@GladlyGlobalChannel]

The younger people are not expecting the olders to buy for them, it just happens a lot. It's up to the older party- it's not an every time kind of thing

[@ceey40]

Joann Crawford HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@bitchassglucose8750]

^lmao

[@piotrkowalczyk9608]

Joann Crawford Kappa

[@diarimachan]

Being respectful to someone older than you is a great thing. It's just another aspect of how people can be respected from.

[@dylanakent]

If so many people for so many years have been extremely uncomfortable with the "how dare you/how old are you" response, then why isn't it simply rejected? If enough people say it's ridiculous and logic and reason should prevail in modern times, it will go away fairly rapidly. It takes a little bravery. It takes looking into the face of the enraged elder, letting them throw the tantrum and calmly saying "you're still wrong, I'm still right and I don't care what you do." Sure, there will be a few stick in the mud traditionalists who will get their feelings hurt once or twice but isn't the victory of logic and reason more important? I think a couple of incidents of sore feelings are worth the risk. Korea is so cutting edge 21st century in regards so many things. To have all this modern technological and scientific (rational) development and then hold up a tradition of ageism which is irrational and helps nobody in the long run, makes no sense. I suppose as Korea reaches outward internationally there will be a change. Respect is earned, not given without merit. A 16 year old can be a genius and wise beyond their years and a 43 year old can be an irresponsible idiot. We must respect intelligence and insight, not years.

[@ooupskitty7006]

Its not that easy ... I wrote a comment just a few seconds ago let me paste it ...

[@ooupskitty7006]

We, in Germany, don't have oppa, eonni culture. But we still have du/Sie culture XD. (Formal/informal 'you') ... Many tend to overlook it. But its still here in the 21thcentury. I hate it because its not a general thing. There are older people who want to be informal with everyone. Caution! But if there is an argument, then they want to be suddenly respected and be formal. I don't get it. They play the game they want. Its freaking annoying! Lets all be informal and don't step the game up. Its not logical. Thats my opinion. I'm boiling at the moment on the inside. AND I'm talking about GERMANY and NOT ASIA! :"-(

[@baepsae4064]

OOups kitty well i get your point but i think it would be Kind of awkward to speak to older ppl or ppl you don't know without being formal / using "Sie" ! ... this happend to me at work.. some of my Co workers (not very close)are like 20 years older than me but we still talk informally to each other which makes me kinda uncomfortable sometimes 😂

[@Tokiodrift]

it is not that easy, their way of thinking is very different. how do you change that? when I spend time in japan it became clear to me that they do not cherish logic and reason. they don't act upon logic at all. I guess they have other priorities like social coherence.

[@Tokiodrift]

it is not that easy, their way of thinking is very different. how do you change that? when I spend time in japan it became clear to me that they do not cherish logic and reason. they don't act upon logic at all. I guess they have other priorities like social coherence.

[@MdeVries4331]

This was such an interesting video which helped me understand Korean culture a bit better. I would love to see more videos like this if you can find the time to make them.

[@tawan20082008]

this sounds like age-based egoism

[@janaalabin6826]

Live Free exactly what I was thinking.

[@ynnek3137]

Talk To Me In Korean, this youtube channel amazingly helps on both English and Korean loll

[@alvarosager9206]

Okay this may sound weird, but maybe someone else has a similar experience or thought... When I talk to Koreans in Korean and it's established that I'm older or that we are the same age I always feel too awkward to be the one to suggest switching to banmal, or to just switch myself. Usually I wait for them to just straight-up tell me to stop being so formal, I never take the initiative myself. I feel like it's not really my place, because I'm not Korean, and maybe I'm switching too soon and making them uncomfortable. Is that crazy?

[@sunshinee_pan]

Alva Rosager My personal experience: I have some Korean Friends and we just use 반말 since the first time we met. And they dont really care if they are older or younger, even if I call them 오빠/언니 or they call me 누나/언니because we don't feel the age gap. We treat each other like if we are all same age and sometimes call each other my our names. So I think switching to 반말 its something more based on how close you are to people. Just happens! or thats what happened to me.

[@dianapharah]

Alva Rosager In my personal experience with my Korean friends, I used 전댓말 at first since theyre about 10-12 years my senior but pretty much a week after meeting they just said let's speak comfortably so we can become close friends. I waited for that cue just to be sure but usually nowadays most people go straight to 반말/offering to switch to 반말 as you get to know each other in order to take out the age hindering the progression of the bond. I still call them 오빠/언니 and they call me 동생 sometimes but usually we just use names as though we're the same age and we even call each other 친구 (people of same age ~ friend). Totally depends on the person and if they would rather 반말 in order to be close without restraints that age/formality gives. Wait for that cue though, don't assume if you're younger but I think if you're older you can gently suggest.

[@x.astar.x]

Same idk weather to be formal or informal

[@ekiaka]

You are definitely crazy, no doubt.

[@Kim-np9qb]

This is words everyone should know before they came to Korea ....I want this....thanks for this video...

[@lillieanez8039]

It'd be amazing if you could make more culture related videos like this! I really enjoyed it :)

[@talktomeinkorean]

+L Anez We'll definitely do that!!

[@LornaJBurnsBridges2468]

I really really appreciate that summary you just gave I've been associated with the Korean Culture for years now esp since my sister married a man who is half Korean half black, very beautiful family. But now I have a better understanding thank you. I appreciate it so much especially when watching the Korean Dramas and Movies😍😍. You also avoid a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

[@sosmcs]

Hmm very interesting. So wait, regarding the older and younger thing during arguments. if two people r in their 50-60s (considered wise), do they still say push their opinions on their other friend just be cause they're older? Or do they get to the point where they know they're equally as wise? And yes, plz keep doing culture related videos. Another thought, I've always wondered where u learned ur English from. Ur accent is adorable.

[@talktomeinkorean]

+Sosmcs See Thank you! We'll definitely cover more culture-related topics. And I learned English mostly on my own here in Korea : ) And yes, even between people who are in their 50s or 60s, the tendency to push one's opinions on the other person is common.

[@LornaJBurnsBridges2468]

Explore South Korea Thank you I sure will, the more I learn from the better I'll become at understanding in speaking the language

[@justaperson4363]

I find it awesome. I saw this video title translated in my native language. Whoaa so touched and impressed. Thank you the person who made it. Teacher thank you for making amazing video. I want to say something about the topic but... I dont think you would like it.

[@KoreanSentry]

For more than 600 years Korea evolved around strict Neo-Confucian, Koreanized Buddhism and indigenous Korean Shaman culture, and this favors these at older class as society was grown up with respecting older generation, I've found that this culture is more prevailed in Korea than any other cultures. Of course this carries one big down side, older generation will win over younger generation in everything. Good example, during Sewol ferry incident, school kids gave up their life jackets to older people and adults, and guess what happened, most school kids died from suffocation while most survivors were old people. I recalled there was satire drawings from Korean mass medias that how old & crippled people climb up by stepping onto little school kids and able to freed themselves from dying while little kids suffocated from crushing from much heavier adults. This was absolutely disgusting as more than 200 deaths were mostly young people even little child.

[@3xitthissid3]

wow, really? As a Westner that makes no sense. I can't even imagine saving a senior citizen over a teenager. That was extremely unfair to the young kids

[@galoistheorem4508]

Don't give out flat lies to make your point. There were enough life jackets for everyone on the ferry. The reasonㄴ why so many people died were due to the fucking announcements, the ship turning upside down completely within short period of time (giving no time to escape from the ship), and the stupid delays and responds of government personals. Nothing to do with life jacket or their culture.

[@philippinedard4658]

Very interesting video & your points are clearly and simply made which makes it this much more attractive. As an anthropology student it gave me a new view on kinship relations which is always good to get!

[@lz738]

Very interesting! More culture videos, pls!

[@reginaonly1294]

You are my favorite teacher on this page! Simple and straight! Thank you

[@wongpuisan685]

I'm from Malaysia. I also have Korean friends as well they are elder then me. Yup. If you are younger you have to respect the elder, I think this is major Asian culture as well. Due to I'm Malaysian Chinese. The Malay and Chinese also have this similar situation. I understand that as well. I love this video. 👍

[@anthonydyer5447]

Good video. Post more like this. We have a Korean exchange student. It helps in understanding the culture better.

[@5kiana]

Interesting points. I have 3 friends who lived here for some years before going back to Korea. We met in Taekwondo & all are much higher rank than I; 2 were my instructors. 2 of the 3 insist on using formal language with me. I tried saying that although I'm older in years, they are my sunbae in tkd so let's call it even, but they just won't use 반말 because I'm their sunbae in life. I've given up trying to change them. :)

[@talktomeinkorean]

+5kiana Yeah whether you can use casual language in Korean is much more strongly tied to ages :)

[@jess0219]

I always enjoy Hyunwoo's videos! He is entertaining to listen to, and always explains things very well. This video was a beautiful and helpful insight into the Korean culture and helped me to understand Korean mentality and perspectives better. I'd love to see more videos like this!

[@misslady3]

I just thought of something: are there people who lie about their age to appear older/younger than their friends/girl/boyfriends/coworkers? If they are found out is it considered like a betrayal? In America if you lie about your age people are annoyed but just shrug their shoulders because age isn't that big of a deal (unless it's a minor and an adult). But I'd imagine in Korea it may be more of an offence? I've always wondered this as well: Do hyungs/noonas ALWAYS have to pay for the younger's meals? If so, is it shameful for a hyung or noona to tell the younger that they can't pay for their meal because the elder is short on money? While I do agree that elders should take care of the younger (especially in the case of adults caring for young adults/minors) it would seem to me that the elder may have less money to spend than the younger due to responsibilities such as bills, groceries, family needs, etc. Also, doesn't this practice increase the amount of younger people specifically choosing to be friends/acquaintances with only older people? It would seem to me that if you had enough older friends you'd never have to pay for certain things again (or you would at least not have to pay for things as much). Is it common (or is there a known grouping of people) who are known to only choose older acquaintances/friends?

[@talktomeinkorean]

+Miss Lady Yes, there are some people who deliberately lie about their age :) And older people don't ALWAYS have to pay, but they try to pay whenever they can. And there might be some young people who want to hang out with older people just for the monetary benefits, but it's also not as comfortable as hanging out with their peers, right? :)

[@ZachMikeMoller]

These are some very acute observations. I find myself wanting to respond more to the comments made than to your video.

[@pineappleagent1]

I'm a white (?) American and my family does something similar. Especially my dad when I try and argue with him on something. I am very respectful of him but he acts like I'm just completely ignorant. My older sister does the same and I'm less than a year from adulthood and she expects respect from me but she's 26 and still living with us across the country from her daughter and she's horrible at managing her money. I believe you have to earn respect. My dad is worth respecting but I'm going to speak my mind. I won't stay quiet just because you are older than me.

[@user-qx8cz9yx9v]

I think that's a bit different from what this guy's saying in the video. Parent - child relationship is much different from a relationship between an 18-year-old and a 19-year-old who don't know each other well. Your dad (I assume) has seen you since you weren't even born yet, and he's always going to try to "teach you" and "lecture you". Same with your sister - I'm guessing you're turning 18 in a year but nine years is a pretty big age gap, and she's probably seeing you as the baby she first met when she was reading books and playing soccer with her friends. I'm not saying that's good, but that's a bit different from the whole Korean unnie-oppa culture. When I was in year 7, a Korean year 8 I'd never seen before came up to me and my friend and lectured us for not bowing every time we ran into her at school. That's the unnie-oppa culture.

[@pineappleagent1]

123 d I see what you're saying. I feel like I should also mention that my dad thinks a lot of asian culture is 'satanic' and when I try and explain some things he's like "You were not alive when I was! You don't know anything! You've just been too exposed." I wouldn't say I'm the ignorant one in this case. Also my older sister is my half sister and hasn't been around for a lot of my life. Most older brothers tend to treat me much better and expect me to have differences of opinion whereas she get *pissed* if I even slightly disagree with her I see that there is a difference. They may just be "age'ist" idk

[@danielalejandro6335]

You have to be a free person beyond the culture...big hug from argentina

[@carmeflores9679]

Watching Kdrama I have observed these differences. My first impression was that Korean society was strongly stratified and compartmentalized. I don't judge it because each culture develops as it can in order to survive and, after all, knowing a bit of Korean history I understand that you had such difficult times, between China and Japan, like the ham in the sandwich (excuse the example), and then between Rusia and the USA. In front of this I'm amazed that Koreans have retained and preserve such unique and splendid culture, which is why I believe that the compartmentalized society was one of the keys to its prosperity and stability over the millennia. But I come from a radically different society. I am Catalan, so I am a Mediterranean European. We have an anarchist and individualistic soul, so our first tendency is to mistrust the system and to live beyond it, the farther, the better, including (or sometimes, mainly) family. We trust only ourselves and our confidence is put only in what proves to be the best in the present, with a kind of myopic gaze somehow. I've met elderly people without wits and with enormous egos instead; and younger people who are brilliant as human beings, kind and caring as older siblings should be. Therefore, I can't feel superior to some youngsters and sometimes it's hard to me to feel respect for some old thugs. Of course, our culture has had less stability over time than the Asian ones. Although it may seem different, with all our European-centered globalized history, sometimes I feel that our history as individuals has been erased and rewritten so many times that we actually live a kind of collective amnesia, as if we had no past or one just a few centuries old. Ending this reflexion, I think that our precious present times allow us to blend our different cultures just in the mesure we can asume it, not collectively but individually.

[@Mariajbh2]

You all Catalan are really individualistic, selfish and the first you is the money (la pela). Don't speak like you can speak for all the european countries, you are really different from the rest.

[@janeww2783]

I live these videos so much! I did a study abroad in Korea 2 years ago and unfortunately I haven't been able to go back and finish (continue?) learning Korean. I think talking about culture and language is SO interesting.

[@little_tish8452]

I'd like to know about age differences in dating older woman younger man and other way around

[@tammiebryant9389]

Hi, I was in Korea in September and had an amazing experience. With the exception of the westernized early 20 somethings being very rude, everyone else was awesome. I made sure to say hello in Korean to everyone that I came in contact with ,most were surprised that I spoke in Korean , was very happy to be given a hello in return with a smile. I did not hear Oppa, Eonni, Nuna to much while I was there, other my friend Jin Sun calls her husband Oppa. Most people called each other by their names but this is all just what I experienced. Anyway looking forward to more of your videos, they are quite informative and you have a very sweet quality in the way you speak. Have a wonderful week.

[@superstar12469]

To me it just seems like they take the whole "Respect your elders" to another level and I understand since my family is kinda like that too xD There are thing you have to do with your elder to show your respect, if you don't do it you're seen as disrespectful and in being disrespectful you are 'disgracing', shall I say, the family. I'm not like that to people outside of my family though since I live in London but yeah to my family and their friends I gotta treat them with respect or it's a slap on my forehead for me

[@ranabhola]

I like him. He gives such a pleasant vibe.

[@tracy2919]

Very thoughtful!

[@talktomeinkorean]

+Tracy Osimowicz 감사합니다!!

[@poshbeep]

Never really comment but this content is so intriguing that I need to put a comment. More contents like this please 👍🏻

[@YunisRajab]

I love these cultural videos

[@elizaandreadaki9942]

Yunis Rajab Linkin Parkkkk😭😭😭

[@metch25]

in my case i dont care about age!!. i give respect to those who i think worthy to be respected.

[@nasri7027]

im from an asian country myself and its not the same way or level as it is in korea but i see the exact same thing in my own home country. ESPICIALLY in college. College is where its shown strongest. disagreeing with an elder or speaking out against an elder is like SUDDEN DEATH. like i definitely like the respect that asian countries typically have with their elders but respect does not mean agreeing with every thing they say or becoming subordinate to them.

[@fatimaezzahrahezraf3394]

Wow it was really great to know that about korea, i've already felt that respect while watching some dramas but i didn't expect it was to that extend ! THANK U for sharing korea's culture with and tnx for your efforts !

[@milenajelic-ikioi3880]

In my country a couple of years older (or younger) ones are treated as equal. Usually if you are more older, like over 10 years and much more, than people use formal language. But it fade quickly :) Soon as you get to know someone (after some talk) you ask him/her ''can we speak unformally please?'' and it is always accepted. Of course, this happen in ordinary daily life, if you are on the job (talking to your boss or client) and other formal occasions you will use polite (formal) language. But when you speak with your colleague on the job, you usually use informal, casual language, unless they are much older. For example, back then I had 38 years and I had 6 colleagues with age of 18 - 22. Everyone uses casual language with me, and I to them. But to ones who had over 50, we all speak formal. (This is just example, the ages are taken approximately). //I am from Serbia (Europe).

[@annettes.5267]

THANK YOU for explaining more effectively for me the differences between "formal & informal language!" I listen to a lot of K-dramas & they often speak about this & I get sooo confused!! One question though, calling someone by their given or legal name is being disrespectful if they are older or younger than you?

[@milenajelic559]

In my country everybody is called by their given name (very rarely by their family name) . Just add Mrs./Ms. or Mister in front of the name and that become formal. Of course there is more, but you get the picture :) But the point is that we are not burdened at all with that, like Koreans or Japanese are. And if you are a stranger and you make mistake no one will considered you impolite. But that is not what I learned about Korean and Japanese people. So, it is wise to always use formal speech if you visit Asian countries.

[@annettes.5267]

OK you address people the same way i do in the US. Thanks for the tip though I will probably never travel overseas.

[@pinkdarkrose]

I was very curious about the hyung and noona thing. Its a very hard thing for me as an american to grasp in our society... But you did a great job. Thank you for sharing

[@chanayplease]

Hmm, well I'm not sure if it's the fact that my mother's family is of Korean descent but I completely understand what you mean. At least on my mom's side you really can't disagree with older people, one of my cousin's would try to correct our grandmother and she takes serious offense to it. When a younger person would try to debate an older person the elder would use their age as a last resort. Abusing seniority like this has been quite problematic for us and damaging in many ways. But I find similar happenings amongst black people, you really can't disagree w/elders or they'll get mad and use their seniority. Being the eldest meaning you take care of the younger ones, are responsible for them, and being the know it all(if you're not, you're not acting like "kids your age should"). I wish that it could change because seniority can be abused like alleviating responsibility. And the younger ones should be able to disagree and show their talents w/o feeling lesser than or scared.

[@bix6139]

I understand your point, noted it too and I think is a misuse of it. Too bad it can limite the person's growing.

[@Kt-cn2rq]

lol i think the adults older and argue pretty normal anywhere. I know supose to respect elders but when your in middle of two grandmas its a scary thing

[@mtl_graphics]

Thanks for being so honest about your own culture. Many people dont like to expose the downsides of their own culture. All that being said, I find the Korean culture to be very interesting. 감사합니다.

[@moonbyby]

my man is 5 years younger, he refused to call me noona, and instead he said he is the oppa, and he is right as in many ways; he is older in way of thinking, he is more logical and wiser than me, he never show once he has aegyo side as younger man. so I just so glad and happy feeling have a real oppa that gonna be my husband soon^,^ note: in my country it is not polite to call your man by his name only even though he is way much younger, so the culture is match here.

[@chocolatedragon8080]

가비 Elle What culture are you from? It's the first I heard about something like not calling your husband's name....

[@moonbyby]

I mean not calling just by his name ONLY, must accompany by salutation that has same meaning with "Oppa" or without name "Seobangnim" "Yobo" . Indonesian but mixed Chinese, Dutch.

[@chocolatedragon8080]

가비 Elle oh cool! very interesting

[@imd1111]

Am I the only one who could relate this argument to Indian culture as well? Here also, we are somewhat bound to keep up to the age based biasness. I'm definitely NOT against respecting elders but sometimes we do hesitate a bit to voice our opinions in a conversation with them.

[@minechick65]

Ohhh yesss~ my friend always brings up his age when we have disagreements and says "I'm your 오빠! You should respect me!" :p

[@mxxxs8775]

PeachyMeg22 hagahaha your pb!! where do you have this from

[@kayleeo7330]

This is a great video! Its really great to hear this from a native Korean's point of view. I would love to see more of these cultural videos!

[@wallflowerorbit5023]

Suddenly remember the story about Jeongkook and his allergic to oppa phrase.

[@bliziesm6986]

The argument between 2 members of BTS in the Ep 4 of Burn The Stage is because of this subject. Now I get it even better. Even one of the other members said "you shouldn't forget he's older than you" he used the word "hyung". Hmmm interesting.

[@btsjohnjohncook2421]

I think this "respect deserved" culture is something that's very prevalent in the Eastern hemisphere seeing as it's also prevalent in Africa (at least my part of it). One thing that always surprised me when I used to watch American movies when I was young (and experiencing America myself) was calling people much older than you by their first name without any honorifics or speaking back to their senior at school or even worse - their parents and older siblings; such things won't fly in my country or maybe it's just my family lest you be called disrespectful. It's just expected that you respect your elders.

[@four1629]

BTS John John cook I feel the same way! I've grown up in America, but I was raised by carribean parents, so they're very strict when it comes to respect. It always surprises me in shows when the child yells at their parent because in my house, I couldn't even try that. Not all American children are like that, though there are some. Also, ARMY!!!

[@btsjohnjohncook2421]

White Wolf yea luckily movies don't always accurately depict American culture so not all are like that. ARMYs represent

[@essabia]

As an American, I don't truly grasp the "not calling people by their name" because to not do so is disrespectful in general to me. American and "western" culture has never had a culture of calling each other brother or sister. I personally find it offensive if someone I don't know or barely know calls me sister. Also, in my house, and friends homes...we would NEVER EVER dream of yelling at our parents as children. 😊

[@btsjohnjohncook2421]

zae anderson yea that's the beauty of different cultures, something that's normal in one culture is ridiculous in another and vice versa. Calling people unrelated to you uncle and aunty may be weird but it's something most of us don't question so it just became normal. Another weird thing for me is when parents do most household chores and kids "help". Like no my mom is not gonna wash clothes and clean when we're perfectly fine; or putting parents in old people's home (I don't know what they're called) when they get too old when their kids are healthy and have houses. Weird

[@essabia]

I am very curious, what is the reason for not calling someone by their name? Is it superstition based?

[@anasakura7150]

Being honest in a respectful way is beautiful enough to practice. This applies to every human. Just don't overdo with the age thing. Who knows it's your destiny that you might fall in love with someone way younger than you. It's not impossible.

[@rostand5264]

For those that feel others must 'earn' the respect to use the terms, doesn't that miss the point of the cultural use of the titles? If it becomes subjective it lessens the value of it? This is an age-old custom that others may attempt to Westernize , meaning it change to subjective, up to the individual if they 'feel' like respecting another, or for the ego instead of being humble. I wish the West had such manners that showed respect toward others, especially elders. It's sad, really.

[@talktomeinkorean]

+D Sucarichi Yeah, respecting elders and treating them politely is great : ) It's just problematic when the older person abuses it.

[@rostand5264]

That's a shame. My family has weird humor, especially the elders. Knowing myself, I'd make more of a joke out of it to younger people than take advantage. They'd know. 😏

[@johnshen2646]

TalkToMeInKorean yes I agree. when elders abuse it, it is not a good thing. In addition, it's also bad when younger people automatically take what an older person says as being correct and don't think critically or logically as to whether it makes sense or is really correct.

[@HannahNguyen1995]

D Sucarichi It's all good and all, but once the elders start abusing that privilege, it's just starting to hurt relationships in my eyes. It starts to become even more ridiculous when the person who is older than me is only one or two years older...

[@rostand5264]

It's a cultural matter that I keep thinking of 'seniors' or 'elderly' individuals in America. I may be mistaken in not considering the descriptions of the Korean cultures older 'elder' individuals being only one or two years older that use age as an advantage. 실례합니다.

[@bigbarkingdog2010]

Fascinating . . . I was aware of some of these cultural motifs (Oppa, Eonni, etc.) but this video put a lot of disparate concepts together for me. Please sustain your strong efforts.

[@XxAlphasparksxX]

I love everything about Korean Culture and Korea in general but tbh [kind of off topic] I just don't agree with honorifics in language, like if someone who's much older than me used informal register I would be mad ahah

[@XxAlphasparksxX]

"clench your fist" immediately thought of the hey arthur meme ahah! But yeh I get you!

[@jcatl]

I compliment you on your English...very good! And thanks for the explanation as I had heard that age is a big consideration in all relationships in Korea.

[@karenledoux3032]

okay so what your saying is that someone who is older than you (according to the culture) is automatically wiser than you? I'm not sure I'm understanding this correctly, please correct me if I'm wrong I want to move to South Korea and I want to learn as much as possible

[@h88999]

the older person is taken to be "wiser" than the younger, in the sense that they would automatically demand respect and obedience from the latter as if they were "higher/better" (happens to some extent, increases with the age gap). asian culture thing, you can read on ageism in korea/asia. actually, i think you might find this interesting muish.wordpress.com/2016/06/08/suga-tibits/ seeing your username and all lol

[@michaelshort2388]

You make some good points. I live in Australia and I wish that we were more like Korea and Japan in that we were more respectful, but I can see what you mean, it can definitely go too far. :)