Dr. Eric Bender, Psychiatrist, Looks at

[@roxiepee]

Parent the child that you have, not the child that you want Wow. This quote really resonates deep.

[@nancylamadani8623]

so many parents could use that advice, when it comes to style of parenting.

[@Aleksandr_Skrjabin]

@@nancylamadani8623 Strange becease it seems like the most logical thing there is, very dumb parents if you ask me

[@nancylamadani8623]

@@Aleksandr_Skrjabin agreed, but look around... most parents in this world are not exactly great parents. people think getting a kid is a joke until they have one, either that or they just don't care about taking responsibility of parenting.

[@nancylamadani8623]

@@Aleksandr_Skrjabin the amount of conversations I have had with people about parenting made me lose hope. people don't even know how to take responsibility of a dog and then blame the dog.

[@Aleksandr_Skrjabin]

@@nancylamadani8623 It is bad I know, I remind my parents sometimes that they made me and that I didn't want that, they are responsible for a big chunk for how I am or will be, they don't seem to care that much even tho they say, talking as a parent is easy but you have to show it as well, everybody in their own space, my mother loved having a kid because of how SHE felt, that is the last reason why I woul want a kid, because when you get a kid it is not about you or your partner,

[@Eggy_The_Egg]

this man's glass drip game is superb

[@Midnightstar567]

Dead ass he's flexing and he doesn't even know it

[@sandrameesala6804]

His what?!

[@yosrafaiz9857]

​@@sandrameesala6804his glasses

[@Thatgirlshaureene]

@@Midnightstar567 😢

[@meliza.day83]

Please translate this sentence in 30+ speak 😅

[@kernaishaxoxo]

I love that he said “HOPEFULLY rock bottom for Rue” it was so professional but also optimistic like a fan lol

[@cahyasatixoxo7207]

“That’s too many disorders” 😂 that’s what I’ve been saying for years and nobody listens to me.

[@derrickparra8734]

This dude’s videos are great. He’s very educational and explains things well enough for your average viewer to understand.

[@dr.ericbender6371]

I appreciate the compliment!

[@janew.8584]

The way he is so worried watching the kids getting in deep shit. Being a psychiatrist takes so much compassion! 😢😢😢

[@ash_whitman]

my mom always said something with a carpenter parent, shaping the kid to how you want them, versus a gardener parent planting a seed and just letting them grow into who they are

[@Pushing_Pixels]

Carpenter parents are trying to create an idealised clone of themselves, so they can live the life they wish they had vicariously. The exception is parents programming children into a cult/religion, but they would probably be better described as stonemason parents, because they're trying to set the child's beliefs about the world in stone, before they have the opportunity to come to their own conclusions.

[@misstekhead]

I’m a grown asş woman and Rue’s character is what drew me to this series. I saw so much of my adolescent self in her character. I was a full on, effed up junkie, and an absolute mess. For most teens this isn’t what their lives are like, but for those that have been there it means so much to be recognized. To this day my addiction and mental illness not being treated in my teens is why I’rm in a dire stage as an adult. Mental health wasn’t recognized or advocated for as strongly as it is now. It was silent. You would suck it up. Often that meant self medicating through deadly means. I keep telling people I’m not going to make it to my birthday or the end of the year. A lifetime of no support and damage to my health has finally taken its toll. I’m exhausted. I don’t have the financial means to afford decent care. For those of you with the means to receive care, or able to have support of some kind please be thankful. It’s an awful feeling to extend your hand out to ask for help, only to have it swatted away because you can’t afford it, don’t “qualify”, or turned down for whatever reason outside of your control.

[@adri7352]

I've been hoping to find a separate channel for more of these videos! Way to really hit the ground running with Euphoria right out the gate. You definitely could do an episode on each character and their different addictions. Loved this concept of reframing the show, and very happy to get to hear more of your ideas here!

[@dr.ericbender6371]

Thanks so much for the kind words and for watching!

[@ac7841]

@@dr.ericbender6371 The Usual Suspects next?

[@pumpkincrumblepie154]

@@dr.ericbender6371 maybe you could do Game of Thrones

[@vylettmoss15]

Absolutely agree! More vids for Euphoria please

[@CreatedbyEmily]

As an addict, I find a lot of the representation falls flat. Like in Criminal Minds Reed was addicted for two episodes and then we move on. The reality is you have to continue your care, go to meetings, interact with those that understand. Movies act like its a bandaid ripped off or a cold you got over. It's a lifelong struggle and sometimes it sucks because people are mad at you for the things you did and they don't get over it overnight. Sometimes it's years after you used and you are still making apologies. It's worth it.

[@bmbmbmbmbmbmbmb]

Yes yes yes

[@Shane3599]

I mean people have the right to be mad at the things people did to them when they were using. Just because you -are- were an addict, it doesn’t absolve you of any responsibility or guilt and forgiveness is up to the person that’s been hurt and done wrong to, not the other person who caused the harm. Just because you’re better now, doesn’t mean that fixes things or erases the things you did in your past. Good job for getting better but some things are just hard to forgive and a person who caused that harm onto others don’t get to decide what their victims get to feel or how they should react to what was done to them or when they should give forgiveness.

[@Pushing_Pixels]

@@Shane3599 Sure, but there's only so many times you can apologise for something before it feels pointless. Also, I don't think she's saying that people's anger isn't valid; she's saying making amends can be a long process because you can't do it all at once. It's a different process with each individual and there's only so many of those processes a person can manage at one time. If you hurt a lot of people, it can take a lot of time.

[@AnxietyRat]

I mean in that criminal minds depiction the addiction storyline didn't last super duper long because the actor, himself, was uncomfortable with it. That's why it ended quick and wrapped up and literally was NEVER mentioned again. So there was an actual like real life reason why that storyline felt super unsatisfying and it wasn't necessarily a fault of the quality of writing on the show. In that specific instance. Was it a super neat way to wrap things up? absolutely not. but it was done for the comfortability of the actor portraying the character. 🤷‍♀️ He DIDN'T audition for the show thinking that he would have an addiction storyline. Whereas the premise of Euphoria the addiction storyline is built in... And is directly influenced by the writers own addiction as a teen.

[@nakhiahodges]

You can tell this man is an empath like you can feel how much he feels for the characters

[@luv2ame]

He's not an empath hes a psychiatrist, he knows why people act the way they do that's why he feels for them.

[@JinaMukherjeeF]

@@luv2ame psychiatrists/people in mental healthcare fields are often empaths. feeling for someone not related to u and understanding their struggles/why they are the way they are is the definition of an empath.

[@MumbaLaura]

2:29 parent the child that you have not the child that you want 🙌🏾

[@TGIFrank]

Count me among the many that couldn't get enough of your GQ analyses and had to come looking for more. I've always been fascinated by the mechanics and art of psychoanalysis but I feel like the field has been flooded with a lot of misinformation and degree seekers who want to play armchair psychologist for a living. Hearing nuanced and articulate breakdowns from a professional who is passionate about not only the work but actual flesh and blood humans is a breath of fresh air for me as a person who has felt overlooked by the system in its many facets and executions. I won't spill my life story here but if you're looking to expand your audience I would humbly request that you start looking into Korean and Japanese film and television as it's experiencing a worldwide boom in popularity to the point where I was ridiculed for my interest in anime as a teen and even college student while in the last few decades it's become ubiquitous across all ages, genders, races and creeds. If I hadn't already watched your thoughtful takes on Star Wars and Bojack Horseman I probably wouldn't make this suggestion but you are clearly the consummate professional and there are hundreds, thousands of artfully crafted series from graphic novels to film and animated series that would no doubt provide a wealth of insights into East Asian psychology from the mundane to fantastic and would no doubt feel more like pleasure than work to you. I share your videos to anyone I think needs insight into their own psychology or to those around them the second I can feel that itchy tension that comes from putting on my proverbial tweed elbow patches and Freudian tobacco pipe because, as you know all too well, NO ONE LIKES THAT GUY and it's in my own vital interests to whip him back into his cave whenever he rears his bespectacled head.

[@TGIFrank]

To narrow the focus a little I'd recommend starting with the classics, particularly the ones that are still being written and adapted. Most streaming services have their share but to save you a Google search, Dragon Ball, Hunter X Hunter, One Piece, Naruto, Pokemon, Bleach, and a myriad of others still captivate millions world wide and would be algorithm gold for any KZbinr. Those are anime, but I'm sure you're aware that Korean pop culture is on a meteoric rise and they have many of the same cultural norms as Japan so any K Drama or K series Google search would yield another sea of possibilities. All of Us Are Dead comes to mind as a Korean Netflix zombie series that might be seasonably appropriate and borrows a lot from horror and even superhero cultural norms. Parasite, Old Boy (and the entire Vengeance Trilogy), Man From Nowhere (action movie that inspired the John Wick creators), are just a few examples of Korean films that have helped form western genres beyond the unbreakable molds of Hollywood. As far as J culture, the Miyazaki collection is basically Japanese Disney if Walt Disney weren't a Nazi sympathizer who froze his head when he died and instead continued to create and influence family cinema. Watch Yojimbo and some Sergio Leone spaghetti western films back to back and you'll see how heavily Italian western directors borrowed from black and white Japanese Samurai films. Then, if you haven't, check out Rashomon, Throne of Blood (Macbeth adaptation if I recall film school correctly), Akira, Ghost in the Shell, Cowboy Bebop, and any of the other breakout movies and series that put Japan in Hollywood and cemented their influence on cinema worldwide.

[@Userjo37]

Psychiatric nurse here! Love these videos feels like watching movies or TV on night shift with the drs and nurses

[@prachimistry7705]

petition for him to start his own podcast ASAP

[@u.r.so.rocknroll]

It has to be a video podcast too. The sense of style on this man.

[@markg1727]

Not to be a critic but as much as I liked the nature vs nurture debate and example that Dr. Bender highlighted in Lexi vs Cassie, I feel what was left out or glossed over is that Lexi has a much more passive personality type and is much more shy than Cassie, Cassie used her looks to gain attention and acceptance from men and behave selfishly and recklessly because it’s all she’s ever known, she was immediately aware of her father’s and mother’s issues with jealousy and infidelity and was bullied and had her dreams crushed and felt unloved by her mom and had older men treating her like a sex object by age 12, Lexi had body insecurity and didn’t know how to be manipulative, her fear made her tiptoe around others. They have vastly different experiences in the same settings and circumstances

[@HEYitsMEheaven]

I’m so glad you have a KZbin channel. I love the way you describe mental illnesses and their symptoms in such great detail. And i love this show so thank you!

[@margodphd]

And there I thought there won't be more Dr Bender's videos! These are an absolute pleasure.

[@kaydenevideo]

I really enjoyed hearing your thoughts on these characters. It seems like so much of us as people is affected deeply during childhood.

[@gagegatsby2848]

Your videos with GQ were one of the reasons why I felt so compelled to get into the field of psychology. Keep up the good work sir, thank you!

[@davidmoore-palmer5698]

i NEED this man to return and do 13 reasons why

[@dominiquecoetzee6641]

yes

[@mahid8332]

when i grow up and become a great psychologist, im gonna visit this man and thank him for my life. i respect you so much thankyou for this !!

[@Happy-rj4qi]

Your transitions were very smooth and considerate.

[@wolfeyeforever]

I can’t wait to soak up more of the information you possess, sir. If only all people in your line of work had a fraction of your capabilities, things would be a lot better for a lot of us. Thank you for giving your precious time in an effort to educate and help those of us who struggle to understand ourselves. You and those like you are nothing but an immense asset to our species. Bless you, everyone like you, and all who gave their precious time to read this. Everyone of you has value, beauty, and wondrousness more immense than that of every star in the universe. Please take care of yourselves.

[@annet4611]

I was fascinated by GQ's episodes featuring Dr Bender, the analysis is incredibly interesting and there is a lot of information that, although I have had no serious mental issues so far, I realised are very important to know nonetheless (for example, clarifying that people with mental illnesses aren't more likely to be prone to violence). The other day I came to rewatch some of those videos and was surprised to have discovered that you have your own channel now ☺ I'm very happy about that and can't wait to watch your next videos!

[@vetchiefrando6005]

My major is psychology and you really explain clearer than my professor

[@effiethefey]

i'm so happy to see you have a separate channel for the analysis! can't wait to see more videos :3

[@arielingling2523]

Dr. Eric needs more subscribers. In a way, many people can relate to shows such as Euphoria or feel some type of familiarity with certain situations in shows like Euphoria. With that being said, Dr. Eric taking the time to share his knowledge by explaining how, why, where, when, and what the possible outcome could be between these characters is fascinating.

[@mariasheveleva6632]

Hurraaaay!!!! Dr Bender's own channel! I'm really glad to find it! I was fascinated by GQ's videos with Dr Eric Bender, always wished there'd be more of them 😍😍😍

[@thebaumfaeller1477]

Really nice to see that you are making videos. It has been very interesting.

[@jianmahinay7029]

I binged watched all your videos from GQ, here for more!

[@doctorkwatson]

Definitely need to do an analysis on the characters in the boys

[@titusmagnuseinuniversumaus6354]

16:53 when you go to the right frame in exactly this moment of the video the glasses look strangely CGI-like.

[@Schnitzel_13]

Thank you for doing these videos Dr. Bender, they are very insightful.

[@jessicasingh6892]

I’d love if you look more at the show You, especially the first season. I love your analyses!

[@dr.ericbender6371]

Thank you! I will see if I can review more of You. I did review some of it at 13:04 in this GQ Breakdown video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/kHykiKeEjJKLnM0

[@liv6765]

When Eric got into the desire to feel normal I bursted into tears, that hit a little too close to home

[@LeeseCornish]

Watching this as a constantly misdiagnosed recovering addict makes me wish i could have had access to a psychiatrist as insightful and thought provoking as you, your ability to see things from beyond surface level is so valuable to people like me, this video made me realise a lot about myself so thankyou for this 🌹

[@elizabethbarker5276]

Thanks for helping me brush up on my stuff. It’s always best to be apart of a team and hear the information again not just speak it always. - Elizabeth Barker B.H.S Behavioral Health Science and CBT.

[@missenvi]

silver linings playbook is a really good movie to see your opinion on, both the bipolar in Patrick and the bpd in Tiffany

[@Leavemealonethanks1]

Yessss BPD and BD are such a lovely match ❤❤❤

[@vpagliarini]

Please do more of these, I was so happy to find your channel after watching all the videos on GQ. KZbin's algorithm should recommend your channel more often to those who watch the GQ videos, you deserve a million subs.

[@artemystesfaye5377]

I would love to see your analysis if Supernatural I think the family structure of the Winchesters is ripe for assessment between Johns militarizing of Dean and his younger brother Sam ti Dean taking in the role of both mother and father to Sam during their childhood and so on. The show had great complexity beneath the surface but unfortunately has been over looked due to people looking down upon any media popular with teenager and women.

[@ceresfox7507]

I didn't know I would ever see this type of observational video but I needed it for sure and im glad i found it. Thank you.

[@malachismall3557]

As a nursing student going over mental health rn thank you! Entertaining educational content.

[@ezinnehuntress7533]

Rest in peace Angus, watching this video made me shed a tear to the fact that you're no longer here🙏🏾

[@michelle7979]

Didn't the first season kind of dive into Rue's manic and depressive episodes? Like when she was up all night figuring out the relations between jules and nate or when she stayed in bed so long she got a kidney infection? I was pretty sure that was the portrayal of her bpd??

[@Cami_nyx]

Yes, but she was diagnosed with BPD as a kid, when we weren't shown any portrayal of BPD.

[@signejohannenielsen8484]

I would say she definitely has Bipolar Disorder it’s obvious as you say @michelle7979. I too wondered why he didn’t brought it up

[@rorodawg]

during bipolar manic episodes, they’re also grandiose, and make many plans for future ventures, feeling on top of the world. i’d say it was more of an obsessive compulsion to stay up all night for days to figure out what was going on between jules and nate. and during her depressive episodes i’d say it’s just more in alignment with a true momentary depressed state. depression can be a symptom many other disorders or life experiences and addiction.

[@rorodawg]

also addiction can make individuals have dramatic mood swings

[@Pushing_Pixels]

That was really insightful and clearly explained. Great video. Subbed.

[@user-so9cy7ec8z]

I just discovered you in June of 2024. Please continue making more videos

[@pumpkincrumblepie154]

Underrated KZbin video

[@billyjean3118]

Watching this video made me realize how lucky I was to be stuck in a boring relationship for several years, one that I didn’t leave out of fear of abandonment, because if it wasn’t for that then I would end up like those characters. I’m 36 years old now and every day I fight the urge to think of every single man as someone who can hurt me and save me, punch me and hug me. It’s a wild ride to be hyper aware of your demons, and the conversations we have in my head are nuts.

[@danielschmidt7153]

Amazing insight from someone with a prestigious academic understanding, I'd say you should examine the show Californication next, that has a lot to unravel

[@vaidikjagani7846]

Love these videos!!

[@7DeadlyBananas]

Hey there! Why haven’t you posted in a long while? I’ll see if I can find you another way but I would love to talk outside of YT. This was a great video!

[@Doggiebaby34210]

Please do more of these! they are so interesting! you offered to do a single video on each character, wow please do!!!!

[@Midnightstar567]

I love him so much

[@tatevartashyan3304]

Iam surprised that nobody in the comments talks about how much he looks like matt smiths doctor who

[@RebellePuella]

I love his show character analysis!!

[@jarebare00]

Was so excited to find your channel. I'm not sure if there is enough content in the show to talk about, I di t may there is. You're the expert, but I just watched a show called 6 feet under with Michael C Hall. Fantastic show, but there was so much disfunction in the show and family. Would be cool for you to talk about a couple of characters from that show.

[@M0NIPULATIVE]

are you a therapist deadass how much do you charge by the hour i loved this video beyond words and i like your perspective and your broadened but also complex view on each character

[@debbiemoore2747]

Dr Bender you seriously need to do your namesake's show...yes it's animation but it has depth and emotional storyline..Futurama

[@tiwiogunye]

Amazing analysis

[@desireepopovitz751]

Rip fez... may he rest easy...

[@yolaoudhoff7725]

What i have noticed is that when you on drugs the bipolar manic episodes can look like just staying awake cause the drugs suppress the manic behaviour but internally it is definitely there

[@kassassin_brahgawk]

When I was little, I would count tiles to help disassociate.

[@HhGh-w4p]

When Dr KG Bender was on leaves i got sick and her assistant who was psychologist named Naila she was Msc psychology .i went to her for counselling but she gave me modecate injection and i could not sleep for three months nor i could eat any solid .i was on liquid diet and i was reduced to skeleton.

[@cortneygant2120]

He gives such good educational information on this video. Does he have an instagram..I would love to learn so much more

[@Null94]

the mixing is kind of off with the audio, but thanks for doing what you do

[@alguienrandom742]

Hi doctor! Can you please review Moral Orel?

[@andrew-hf9fl]

I remember when I watched this, as an adult, feeling concerned that potentially the cautionary nature of some of the more risky behavior in the show...whether or not it would be powerful enough to outweigh the potential for imitation amongst young people. We see this alot. For instance, the episode of South park about red heads. The point of the episode is that discrimination is bad...but the outcome was a Lot of bullying of red headed school children. Time will tell

[@alicestbrt]

Would love to know your thoughts on skins (UK) - particularly the first 4 seasons, it kinda dropped off after that :)

[@s.b1192]

I am finding compassion from this, for myself and others.

[@saragiuliavitale7548]

you should analyze Bojack Horseman, very deep show

[@josiea.3855]

For sure!! I'd love to see that!!

[@Sinner_6]

as someone with borderline it like left me severely depressed after I finished it😭

[@fozianoreen3495]

Pls do Azula from avatar the last airbender. And her mental brake down !! It’s such a good tv show

[@UnaOwens-g1q]

Dear Dr. B., For a future episode (following “Nate’s Dad”): Please take the opportunity to define “abuse”. Not because none of us are familiar with the term, but because like “toxic”, “narcissist”, or “gaslighting”, but because it’s entered the cultural conversation with our colloquial preconceptions. I’d very much like to hear, from a licensed and practicing professional, what makes a behavior or pattern of behavior “abuse”/“abusive”, and what it’s not. If, for ex., Nat’s violence and his abusive behavior are two distinct but overlapping phenomenon, it would be useful if you could pull them apart for us. Thank you for your consideration.

[@pedanpontif]

I don't know why any psychiatrist I have talked to about a similar situation never acknowledges that the person will perceive this as a confrontation and they are just provoking an argument or fight. Like Nate and his mother. She may believe he is an angry person. Why would she start to provoke him.

[@HhGh-w4p]

Dr KG Bender worked with me in christian memorial hospital sialkot.

[@tianamIV]

I’ve seen some people argue Cassie has HPD, I think it’s quite compelling. I wonder what you think about this?

[@apbeartrap4583]

You should do skins too

[@alyssaholland8027]

Is there any distinction under the umbrella of psychopathy between people who are more of an”lone wolf” type who don’t really concern themselves with whether or not other people like them, versus people who are just as evil but who put on the front of being very social and gregarious and well-liked?

[@dr.ericbender6371]

While a psychopath can pretend to like others and appear gregarious or be more of a loner, the common theme is that psychopaths only have interest in people so much as they can help the psychopath get something that he or she wants. That said, there is research showing psychopaths can care about immediate family members, but most people are seen as pawns in the psychopath's plans to obtain what he or she wants.

[@HhGh-w4p]

Once he sent me letter on new year but i gave that envelop to one of his patient whom mother he treated and that man was professor of english he asked me about him and i gave that envelop on that the address of KG Bender was there .now i miss him and if i had saved his address i could write him and could tell him the story of my life .

[@karlieriviere8445]

With Cassie and Lexi there was a difference in their environment cuz when Cassie hit puberty men started giving her more attention, particularly male relatives and Lexi didn’t have that so Cassie learned early on that her body gets her attention and validation from men which would be why they’re different in that aspect I think

[@siobhan110]

i miss dr. bender

[@chriscastielredy]

Dr. Eric Bender looks like Matt Smith from Doctor Who (tell me if this isn't a fantastic coincidence!) I truly believe there are 7 people look alike to a certain specific person.

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

Eric* Bender

[@chriscastielredy]

@@einundsiebenziger5488 i've corrected, thank you.

[@meriemcullen8510]

id love to be your patient doctor Eric :)

[@humangecko]

is the show called reframing because you're always rocking a pair of sick frames

[@reginasuvor2464]

Please like the comment, so that Dr Bender would analyze Hannibal tv series

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

Better than analyzing the show would be analyzing the sick minds of the people who wrote that show and made a serial killer a hero.

[@Rebecca25597]

Wow this is so interesting

[@MajoFetiva]

And this is the reason why I pay internet

[@blinkinglightbeacon7704]

Cassie is obsessed with Nate and has low self-esteem but she is not delusional and certainly not erotomanic. The most important reason being she is actually IN a sexual relationship with the object of her desire who has even told her that he loves her. Erotomania is an advanced stage of psychosis in which there is no evidence of reciprocity and is almost always with a famous person. It's also not uncommon to become infatuated, ignore red flags, and think you might be able to change a person's mind, especially as the other woman, and especially at that age before you have learned to be cautious. It's misleading to call it delusional or psychotic when it's actually quite common to invest too much and fantasize about a relationship that is clearly not going to become a commitment. Denial is not delusion and it's a very long way away from psychosis.

[@HhGh-w4p]

He told me his child was working in butcher house when his child left pakistan and went to australia .

[@HhGh-w4p]

I discussed with him about religion .his wife told me about mid night children when i went to him with satanic verses .his wife name was sally .

[@kc-uy5qr]

Can to review gone girl?

[@DarrellD1]

How about Kalifornia?

[@no_name2641]

13 Reasons Why next please

[@jazmingonzalez1619]

Parents can hurt their kids sometimes consciously or unconsciously. That pain lasts for a long time when it is not talked about. It's a show .....but this video really should be taken seriously.

[@HhGh-w4p]

When Naila was giving me injection i thought he is giving me aqua injection as placebo but she really gave me Modecate injection.Naila these days must be in australia .

[@feathereye14]

Matt Smith, is that you?

[@mhiekylaaquino1760]

he has a yt channel!!

[@kayleepatricelli]

U should do skins

[@woahhhluv]

wait til you see yellowjackets

[@ericamlca]

I could not finish this show