Dr Gabor Maté | Authenticity Can Heal Trauma (Part 2)

We tend to believe that normality equals health. Yet what is the norm in the Western world? Joining us live on stage in London - in conversation with filmmaker and author David Malone - the renowned physician, addiction expert and author Gabor Maté dissects the underlying causes of this malaise - physical and emotional, and connects the dots between our personal suffering and the pressures of modern-day living.
Illness and trauma are defining how we live. 45% of Europeans suffer high blood pressure, and nearly 70% of Americans take at least one prescription drug.
Over four decades of clinical experience, Dr Gabor Maté has found that the common definition of ‘normal’ is false: virtually all disease is actually a natural reflection of life in an abnormal culture, as we grow further and further apart from our true selves.
Filled with stories of people in the grip of illness or in the triumphant wake of recovery, this life-affirming talk from the beloved physician and author will show how true health is possible - if we are willing to embrace authenticity above social expectations.
Gabor Maté is a retired physician, bestselling author and renowned speaker, highly sought after for his expertise on addiction, trauma, stress and childhood development. He has written four bestselling books published in nearly thirty languages, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. He has been awarded the Order of Canada (his country’s equivalent of the MBE) and the Civic Merit Award from his hometown, Vancouver, for his ground-breaking medical work and writing.
David Malone is a filmmaker and TV presenter whose documentaries include Testing God, Soul Searching (both Channel 4), Dangerous Knowledge and The Secret Life of Waves (both BBC). He is the author of The Debt Generation.

[@nikzniky]

“Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.”

[@TheLuminousOne]

or happens to you as per profession, family life etc

[@natatattful]

I don’t like this because it just blames the victim.

[@josiehewing]

Irrelevant whether a victim or not its inside you, the nervous system is dystegulated irrelevant of blame and needs awareness and recovery

[@ceciliaj3300]

So powerful.. "giving up our own authenticity for the sake of attachment" = recipe for disconnection with ourselves.

[@wheremylifego3790]

Find death before death finds us ❤️🙌

[@ReluctantPost]

Unfortunately, there is a converse element in this, too. Upon the threatened destruction of another relationship in her life, a woman I know said to her therapist, “I’m just being true to myself. What about ‘to thine own self be true’?” and her therapist responded, “Which self?” To this person, authenticity meant putting her worst inclinations forward because they were true and real rather than recognizing that internal consistency also demanded that she recognize the destructive nature of that “truth” in the relationships that she also wanted and needed just as much. When her life was all about herself and inward focus, she was miserable just as she was if she wasn’t sharing transparently and being seen honestly.

[@dr.gbailey]

So powerful !

[@ttgyuioo]

Death is freedom!

[@Lisa-pl6gv]

I felt your comment to the depths of my soul. That describes the first fifty years of my life.

[@micbetancur9131]

what privilege to listen to this man. He talks human

[@rachelcaldwell330]

Gabor Maté is an amazingly knowledgeable man that has been an absolute blessing to my life.

[@1PositiveDeviant]

He's the 'human' whisperer.

[@foxyrollouts]

Was a really awesome talk. He hit on so many points. The presenter was great as well.

[@angelamossucco2190]

That’s a beautiful summarizing phrase: Dr. Mate’ *talks human*.

[@DAClub-uf3br]

Are you for real or a Bot?

[@kristine6996]

Letting your children being authentic is one of the greatest gifts you can do as a parent. And it is very easy to do because authenticity feeds itself for life.

[@marcodallolio9746]

and then watch them fail in a posthuman corporate machine-like algorhytmic wold

[@robynhope219]

Both my parents were authentically miserable and dumped their misery burdens on me. It would've been better if they faked being nice.

[@PolishBehemoth]

i disagree with this partially. "Letting your kids be authentic" can lead to not parenting at all and justnletting them get into any destructive behavior for the sake of "being authentic". Ive seen it happen, will smiths son is perfect example. Have you seen him in interviews hes an asshole and doesnt care about anybody. Children need guidelines and barriers of livinf and thought to be expkained by their parents. Period.

[@cubiclegirl7075]

being authentic-- is a great way to demo for our children--

[@johedges5946]

I love what you say Kristine x

[@finetrue]

My parents got divorced before I was born, and my mom left me with my narcissistic grandma until 7. Every time she came to visit I cried and begged her to take me, but she left anyway and blamed me for putting on a crying show to make her feel bad. Throughout my childhood and teen years, her strategy was to expose me to all kinds of pains and prep me for the tough world. I was constantly punished physically and emotionally, criticized for not obeying her order or for not performing perfect in school. I was No 1 in every subject in my class but that was still not good enough. When some boys showed interest in me she would cut my hair to look stupid and mock me of being stupid to believe anyone other than her. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and finally an eating disorder which I am still trying to recover from. I hope one day I can find myself and truly learn to love myself and heal my trauma.

[@hauwatangalu1892]

Sorry you went through that.

[@desoladavis6531]

❤❤❤

[@brajasundaridasi6675]

Hang on tight to yourself because if we keep trying for authenticity we will get there, painful though it may be. My parents also hated me, ignorned me and invalidated me in so many ways. I know anxiety and depression, and at 67, I am healing and getting more in touch with myself. One day, and it may not be so far away, you will love yourself more and you will heal. Keep on going! Keep hope.

[@Alkemiss]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. You sound like a survivor who is strong. Your story will heal others and help them indetify their strengths. Know that you are loved and you deserve the world ❤

[@josiehewing]

Sorry to be in the hands of evil, make sure YOU are not like it, be your authentic self without this input. Heal through others kinder people, therapists etc. Much luck to you xx

[@patriaciasmith3499]

Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.

[@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU]

The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

@@michealharris3221Does dr.sporess ship?

[@AnjeloValeriano]

Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Tripping is not really bad but find a good mycologist Who will teach you the right things you need to know

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Dr.spores is the best, he's been my supplier for anything psychedelics.

[@bookswithchaimae]

"we are the only species that create an environnement that is destructive to its own species" that was mindblowing and sadly true

[@iloveFreedom.]

Yep, and we have to make it untrue, now🌻🌟💃💫🌟💥🥳

[@heatherhinks6185]

I heard this weeks ago, it's been rolling around in my head ever since.

[@iloveFreedom.]

@@heatherhinks6185 I reckon it also means the opposite can be made reality...the species who became aware the whole universe flows through us, is us, and with the power of universal intelligence ...Anything Is Possible...🌟🎉🧚‍♀️

[@Truthseeker371]

It's so true and factual. The nature thrives much better without the human existence and disruption. The nuclear affected zones saw the recovery of natural habitat while the residents evacuated from the areas for over a year.

[@anothertheory3610]

Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......

[@maryannestevenson5993]

A whole lot of people all over the world are walking around with trauma within and it’s showing up in all kinds of destructive ways. I hope everyone gets an opportunity to listen to Gabor, he’s a gift.

[@marcgleeson1599]

Not a whole lot! … just about every person sadly

[@annettemoolman6504]

Fully agree ❤️

[@casandra4904]

Like our current U.S. administration? 🤣

[@ThePiscesNotOnly]

I know I am destructive that's why I am hiding and isolating for the past three years to face my trauma.

[@sciencenotstigma9534]

This is why accepting and embracing people with addictions works better than judging, excluding them from society, and punishing them. People can be authentic when they feel safe and accepted. People only lie when they know they’ll be judged or punished for telling the truth.

[@dee-deebe9256]

DITTO 🎯🙏🏽🎯

[@everydayvacaytaj]

Why would we want to judge and punish someone who has gone through so much trauma and lack of love/getting their needs met that it leads them to addictions to cope anyway? It's like we have this idea that people get addicted to things for fun or because they're lazy.. They're suffering and need our help

[@YagrumBagarn]

Don't be foolish. Living with drug addicts can be hell, especially alcool addicts; It will ruin your life.

[@gingerisevil02]

@@YagrumBagarn a lot of addicts suffer their addiction alone because they don’t want to burden anyone.

[@kathafulio]

Nobody said anything about living with addicts or alcoholics. And setting boundaries for oneself and BACKING them up confidently is the goal. I’s tough to do it for many of us. Lots of people aren’t able to set boundaries well. therefore all kinds of people walk all over them.. not just addicts - clean or not or alcoholics- sober or not. Addiction and alcoholism are DISEASES someone can be addicted to a non-drug substance- “Chocolate”- for instance is very addictive and a person may choose to create a pattern of eating chocolate whenever they have emotional turbulence etc. one definitely ears plenty of it during their many crises in life as an avoidance. It is just as degrading to be addicted to chocolate as to be addicted to drugs or alcohol. It damages MANY lives and causes obesity etc. I suppose it can take longer than a drug constantly being used does to destroy but not necessarily. People will judge (some even call THAT, Judging an addiction). Shame and debilitating compulsions to KEEP on GETTING THE SUBSTANCE into your body rules one’s life in all addictions unless they’re fortunate enough to have enough mind abilities within themselves and willingness to make changes. Childhood trauma is HARD AS HELL on us all, maybe an entire EARTH full of compassionate and kind people is needed instead of a negative push ri NOT BE FOOLISH like the guy a couple comments before mine was sharing. Maybe he had not set good, solid boundaries with an addict or alcoholic.. positive input was what was lacking in our childhood so although I may think em, i find it better to stfu when my words harm another on purpose, even absentminded. Words crush people and show where a person has an issue if some kind within. 1:51

[@louisesumrell6331]

In childhood I had a 5 years older sister who was, and still is at 69, the "poster child" for female psychopathy. I was diagnosed, decades ago, with major depressive disorder, major anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder. In 1998 a social security panel of physicians judged me to be "totally and permanently disabled, unemployable". Since then I've finally gotten sober and clean, (09/20/2018), and by practicing Zen Buddhism, a la Zen Master Thich Nhat Hahn, and reading and watching Dr. Maté, I'm finally feeling much better and reasonably happy, consistently. Of course I'm 64 years old now 🙄, but it's fine. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called, 'the present'".😉🙏💖🙏

[@marie_es]

You're healing right on time Louise ♥️

[@TB-fe5in]

@@marie_es Gh.

[@joshjacobson932]

King Fu Panda is criminally underrated

[@TB-fe5in]

@@joshjacobson932 land slide vite in a tibogan. With second downhill slope. Tu very freely.

[@nathanjohnson7419]

BPD women are almost always demonizing the people close to them, calling there sister a psychopath is common BPD antagonistic behavior, so is being addicted to drugs and pushing boundaries of other people AS FAR AS THEY LET THEM. And the disorder generally does not subside until they are old. A significant bpd trait is demonizing others to avoid processing the guilt that they SHOULD be feeling

[@afairshare]

Authenticity in this society is seen as unprofessional and "problematic". It's infuriating and why I'm stepping away from the online world while I recalibrate myself and heal my trauma instead of subjecting and destroying myself for the projections of others who can't handle being honest with themselves and are intimidated by someone who is.

[@afairshare]

So much of what Gabor Mate says are the exact realizations I've worked through in the past half decade. It's so refreshing to hear someone saying all of the things I couldn't write down and get out due to trauma.

[@Pelis_Chilangobythesea]

SHOTS FIRED MEN

[@afairshare]

@@Pelis_Chilangobythesea No shots fired, just an observation applicable to my life about the authenticity people say they seek in others and how it has not worked for me as I try to recover from severe physical and mental health/trauma that deeply impacts my every day life. Until I can get to a better place of mental stability in my life, I will never be able to be authentic and heal at the same time under the pressures of contradicting narratives pushed by society. I am helping no one with my social media presence, including myself, so I am seeking to remove myself from what is distracting me from healing in my real life.

[@Pelis_Chilangobythesea]

@@afairshare en español por favor traducir. O eres auténtico o eres amado.en una sociedad tienes que adaptarte a canones de civismo. en una relación de pareja siempre hay un elemento de misterio. amar no tiene un fin ni un inicio, es solo un proceso de conocerse, es simplemente deceptivo. A lo largo de mi vida se me ha dicho que soy muy auténtico, y humilde, es frustrante que te llamen sentimental e intenso, si embargo creo que convivo conmigo mismo. Ahora Jung , Peterson junto con la escuela estoica, piensan en corregir el niño interior, callarlo y adatarlo. es necesario y es el sufrimiento que paga la humanidad. Nuestra patria es nuestro padre nos enseña como vivir, nuestro mayor enemigo nos impone maneras de pensar. De dónde viene la autenticidad de las cosas.

[@afairshare]

@OneOFThese NotLikeTheOther do you mean someone targeted me?

[@johannafernandez6879]

This man has so much humanity that we all need.

[@carmenl163]

He brings so much peace inside us and between us. I think he deserves the Nobel peace prize!

[@aninsidestory]

​@@carmenl163 That’s interesting. I’ve always thought that Marshall Rosenberg would get the Nobel Prize for studying peaceful cultures and developing Nonviolent Communication (which addresses that practical applications of Gabor’s work). He hasn’t yet. 🤔

[@carmenl163]

@@aninsidestory I would support him getting the Nobel peace prize as well! There are some fantastic teachers out there who are not recognized enough, I think. They are teaching us inner peace, which is the best way to outer peace. Byron Katie and Breneé Brown are candidates, too, in my view.

[@aninsidestory]

@@carmenl163 Yes, a big thumbs up to Byron Katie. I have a 'should' story in my head about Brene Brown. I can't get past that she is an academic researcher who studies shame, emotions and culture and she has not ever referenced Marshall Rosenberg or NVC to my knowledge. If you can help me see my way past this, I would be grateful. 🙂

[@dr.gbailey]

Humanity, authenticity, and care. He really cares! He know what we really need to heal. Such an inspiring man. All therapists should learn from him.

[@aquarius2284]

Probably one of the most authentic and worthwhile self-help author out there. Worth getting his whole collection of books.

[@yvettemarshallTWN]

He’s very brave and authentic, been following him for a long time. Teacher who is still a student. The best kind! 👏🏽

[@lesliemctavish4300]

Yes, I agree. And Collete Streicher is another.

[@Jen281]

Repressing emotions was my survival to remain a part of the family. 😟

[@karlad4082]

Nobody explains and understands childhood trauma as well as Dr. Mate. I’ve gone through therapy due to my childhood trauma, but it was fruitless. Dr. Mate made me feel like he understood me even when I’ve never met him. This resonates with me completely and now I understand why I have a hard time connecting with anyone in my life 😢

[@thomashassall96]

I'm sorry we were abused, hope you are feeling well now.

[@DenieceSmithRealtor]

And when we nurture that part of us that someone else couldn’t or didn’t, we can heal and become whole again.

[@rubytuesday7653]

🌿🌷💚🌷🌿

[@rubytuesday7653]

@@DenieceSmithRealtor 🌹♥️🌹

[@rubytuesday7653]

@@thomashassall96 🌿💚🌿

[@AvicSubfusca]

The comment sections under Gabor Matè videos are always so wholesome and compassionate. I hope he sees and feels his impact! He's such a gift to humanity.

[@taranorthover]

Thank you. God I'm so sick of these meaningless diagnoses that don't do anything. Band aids on core wounds. I hate our pathetic mental health system. It's failed not just me, not just my family, not just nearly everyone I know, not just every mental health disaster I've worked within, but nearly everyone, in some way. I'm furious. This man is a genius but it makes me so devastated because he's not the norm, and not nearly enough people will benefit from this. I'm so sick of toxic selfish, oblivious disgusting people abusing others.

[@mangochutney4874]

Same here!

[@deadinside8781]

Diagnosis isn’t the cure, it’s a target. You have to do the work. Therapy isn’t psych surgery. What ails you can’t be cut out by the therapist. Recovery is a long and arduous process and re-integration is much harder.

[@daphneglasurus7886]

11:57 authenticity and the freedom to express myself and not be shut down by my supposed loved one is exactly what I’m seeking right now.

[@kt3184]

I got a massage weeks after a miscarriage and I cried … i could not stop it. The massage therapist was so kind and understanding. She said I needed to release. She was right. Great experience ❤️🇨🇦

[@carmenl163]

He mentions: "the body keeps the score" from Bessel van der Kolk 5:10. That book was the first book that understood me and all my problems. Thank you for mentioning that, Gabor Maté. You deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.

[@doublet630]

Indeed. Body Keeps Score is riveting.

[@remon563]

agree. It is what made me push myself with Sports, fitness and hopefully meditation soon. Meditation is still very hard for me cause my wounds are very deep, the ADD is super strong with me.

[@sarahal-taay1965]

Whats the book called

[@carmenl163]

@@sarahal-taay1965 It's called: 'the body keeps the score' and the writer is Bessel Van Der Kolk.

[@sarahal-taay1965]

I just bought it

[@karenrogers9034]

Childhood trauma is so So damaging My Parents should Have never had Children ,Even as a 60yr old woman I still carry this and have dealt with it so many times But it returns ,My coping strategies are to Block It like it never happened Fight or Flight is easier to cope with than constantly reliving it in My sleep

[@williamkoscielniak7871]

That last line about having all sorts of logic and science but not having wisdom is of the utmost significants for both individuals and the human species. If we don't grow in wisdom, we are bound to destroy ourselves with the instruments that our so called logical minds have created.

[@Alkemiss]

The issue is that in order to gain wisdom we have to actually act on these new changes or way of thinking. All these self help books just kinda keep us on a information overload loop... I wish there were more popular programs available to help us all get there.

[@deedee9312]

All I can say is get Dr. Gabor’s books and his latest especially ! You’ll read it and read over and over again and highlight it until you practice it ! He’s so easy to learn from ! Be yourself ! Be kind be fearless be authentic be mindful be smart! Never give up ! 😊❤ just bee 🐝

[@lindadickinson782]

Awwww Gabor you made me cry, you are so amazing. Thank you for being alive and giving so much to people who have trauma in their lives.

[@elnosworld9893]

He is truly magnificent, and if it wasn’t for all the things that he put himself through as a child, after having certain experiences and his perception of those experiences, we would not have the knowledge or wisdom that he came here to share with all of us to help us through our darkest times, and help us to embrace our own light I just wanna say thank you from the depths of my heart

[@douglashitchon7518]

This has made me realise why I am like I am..the need for attachment after being rejected for the first twenty odd years of my life..extraordinary that at 78 years of age this video has taken me back but made me understand..why..I feel relieved..happy that I had to cope but now knowing I have this coping mechanism a strength I acquired as a result of rejection..now I know why I need attachment..now I can move away from that..thank you Gabor..

[@anajuliaharrington]

I am very grateful for your kind words and understanding what trauma is and can do to the child and how much can affect her or his adult life. I find very difficult to express my emotions, feelings, anxiety, fear, depression, because of what I went through during my childhood, the rejection the abuse physical mentally emotionally and sexually. I did not understand any of this until I was an adult. I understand now that all of that was caused because of my childhood trauma. thank your for the support and help you other people.

[@happyclassygirly]

Sexual abuse is the most damaging of them all.. Please look in your community for a group support.. I find it easier when you’re surrounded by other women with whom we can share the same experiences and there you can open up and start talking without feeling ashamed

[@suparnasarkar3067]

I got the book "The Myth of Normal" in hand...what an introspective piece it is.The more I am reading and listening him the more clarity I am getting of myself and the more I am drawn to listen him.Thanks a lot doctor.You are a blessing to us.

[@anjavlasblom8158]

Wow I have to wait for 2 days before the book is coming out in the Netherlands!!

[@aquickstory2196]

trauma is a spiritual wound....that medication cannot heal. Medication is for physical wounds. Trauma needs spiritual medication. The cause of trauma most often starts in a physical form: sound, touch, taste, smell, sight. The effect it then has on the inside is the trauma. Upon receiving the negative experiencing we begin to make meaning through stories that we believe to be true about ourselves.

[@courtneyawalsh]

Well said.

[@jenmajed1712]

That's amazing. Thanks.

[@patriciaredmond3996]

I love what you wrote, can you explain the last sentence a little bit, is it really finding out who you are by thinking about your negative thoughts ?

[@aquickstory2196]

@@patriciaredmond3996 We process our experiences in search of meaning then we choose one theory about the experience as true. The choice we make reinforces an emotion that seems familiar to us. We then hold on to the emotion and the theory we have about the experience...until it is automated in our brain.

[@patriciaredmond3996]

@@aquickstory2196 thank you, I'm going to really think about that

[@gregoryjames4474]

The tears they fall like diamonds from my eyes and I can not afford it.

[@nickturnbull4105]

I was separated from my mother a few weeks after birth , spent nine months in a babies home and then adopted ,this explains my lifelong difficulties with depression , anxiety and addiction so well . Adoption is Trauma . Thankyou Gabor .😢

[@ahagamama]

Trauma is not what happens to you - it is what happens in your body/mind as a result of what happens to you. It is a reaction to what happened to you.

[@Ideaindex3008]

All these information has saved my life!!! After hearing Gabor, Peter Levine and other doctors I found somatic experiencing the missing peace of my healing journey. Thank you Gabor Mate!

[@womynsstuff3918]

What a blessing and gift to humanity this wise person is! Thank you 🙏

[@ronafrye4224]

I am so glad I discovered this man recently. His wisdom speaks volumes to me!

[@ReluctantPost]

I would add that the authenticity is not only about being highly in-tune with our own unarticulated judgments, emotions, and presence in the moment, but also about being in-tune with others who are central to our lives as accurately as possible--working hard and taking some risks to achieve this. Assumptions are deadly, and we live in a time in which we are too easily replacing intensive effort to understand others with an adoption of this or that conviction that we hear repeated in social media, especially, about how someone "like that" _always_ thinks, feels, what motivates them, etc. Especially in the last ten years or so, I have witnessed an extraordinary level of strain in relationships, and broken relationships, that have been based as much on assumptions and a lack of authentic, effective communication--including an unwillingness to challenge what seems wrong and fight for a relationship that really matters--as on anything that is definitively real.

[@benjaminslayton9362]

Been listening to him for a few hours just realized he talks just like John Depp

[@johnwerahiko6226]

We are thank ful your mother gave you to a stranger.

[@insights3140]

Trauma is very much embedded in the body. I often have to surrender to my body screaming at me about the trauma that is still unresolved.

[@mariellarobles3372]

Every talk from Dr Mate I have listened to has been helpful I was thinking of ways to release resentment in my heart and he is living proof that trauma doesn't have to be a life sentence. My parents weren't very affectionate and it was painful to see how much suffering we endure throughout our lives when our parents aren't invested in parenthood. My sister was in a devastating accident in 2013 that left her with frontal lobe damage and she was unable to care for herself my younger sister and I had the responsibility of handling her care because my parents weren't helping in any way. I believe till this day she died of a broken heart in 2018 and I had so much anger and resentment toward my parents. Now I am learning to try to relate to their upbringing and it has helped me to deal with the pain of their neglect and in trying to understand their feelings it has been healing to me.

[@TN-ow7yd]

I love this man, his language is universal, Pain. The more i understands it, the more i embrace myself.

[@christiner9318]

This man can change and save lifes . He is amazing calming and his voice needs to be heard

[@primlawilliamson-munroe7072]

Super power unlocked: Understanding the self! So much has become clear abs still there is so much left to explore. I am changed. Thank you, Dr. Mate!

[@rachelcaldwell330]

He has helped me heal in so many ways. This fabulous man helped me look internally to heal as I always looked externally only to cause more harm to my whole being.....Then I was shown his work and I believed all he said. I had more than 1 childhood traumatic experiences that made me shut down and not express my feelings and emotions. This brought me to be a long-term addict that has crone's disease diagnosed when I was 24. I kept doing harder drugs to not FEEL the pain of this disease also to push it down as that had been my coping mechanism. In 2013 I was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis n told I'd be in a wheelchair in 6months. It took me out, my whole left side not functioning properly at all. I had been studying to be a therapist for 3.5yrs before I got MS. Because of the knowledge I had learnt I knew I had tools to get in control of my dis-eases UNEASE IN MYSELF so I used these tools to enhance my self-belief and self-reliance. After 8months of letting my conditions debilitate me I rose above them and took back the control of my mind body and soul allowing my spirit to help me function again as best as I could, just differently from the ways I knew which allowed me to live a life of new experiences and hope. This is when I was shown Gabor Matēs completely ' out of the norm' information and I live by this man's informative knowledgeable insights and researched hands on experience. It's now 2022 & I am slowly yet surely healing from the inside out leading me to believe I will never be in a wheelchair but I will be helping others to rise above their dis-eases with the power of positive thinking & making sure movement is key in their everyday life. NAMASTE GABOR MATÉ 🙏♥️💓

[@primlawilliamson-munroe7072]

@@rachelcaldwell330 you are an inspiration. Dr. Maté's work is groundbreaking. I am just beginning my journey back to self, so hearing your healing journey is definitely inspirational.

[@anothertheory3610]

Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......

[@TheBiggestMoronYouKnow]

exposing my weakness and pain scares away others but heals and strengthens my core

[@wearesouls6783]

Hey, fabulous people. Look how much you care about yourself by listening to stuff like this. Keep going and it keeps getting better. 🤗🤗🤗

[@johnCjr4671]

Our interpretations as a child are very authentic before we are conditioned to accept nonsense later in life ! His theory is consistent with Scientology and the initial trauma being chained together with all subsequent traumas and triggers .

[@mohamedelfatih9826]

You can be smart, intelligent But don't have wisdom... I think this sentence Said it all

[@jmc8076]

My dad taught me this many yrs ago. Wisdom always leads to truth, while intelligence may be used to deceive. (Tao Te Ching) Wisdom makes you the smartest person in the room, no matter how uneducated you are. (African philosopher)

[@steffibaker6121]

Packed with profound insights like repeated one-two punches.

[@SuLawn]

Dr Gabor Mate i believe is one enlightened genius. ❤️🙏🙂🤗

[@johedges5946]

Although now separated for some years, the most important trait in a man is authenticity. My husband and the few other men I have loved thru life (not many 🥰) have all possessed this admirable

[@johedges5946]

personality trait.

[@kasondaleigh]

Wow! He describes my world really well. I’ve been trying to explain for years. BPD. Manic Depression. Similar disorders, Same BPD.

[@kathleenwharton2139]

My brothers teased me because they Loved me. So the rest of my life if anyone teased me..I thought they Loved me! All my interpretation! 😊❤

[@daphneglasurus7886]

13:17 “something happened” To me when I cried as a toddler and my mother tried to strangle me to death. 35 years later and I have innumerable attachment wounds with people who beg me, either implicitly or explicitly, to shut up and stop expressing my natural human feelings. I’m divorcing from someone that’s made me feel this way for over a year now and I feel like my true authentic life is about to begin.

[@robynhope219]

More than authenticity is required to heal trauma.

[@subsubsubsub5413]

This man is a genius

[@jmc8076]

He’s simply highly educated, perceptive and cared enough to apply it help others. Dr Mate has also used the fact he’s just human like the rest of us to turn intelligence to wisdom.

[@garycaldwell2776]

He is the best childhood trauma survivor 2yrs 6months sober and gave up gambling also always speak up about it dont bottle it up no matter the pain going through get honest with yourself saved my life he knows what he talking about

[@stephaniefortney22]

Dr Gabor is such a Gift to all….his work is filled compassion, knowledge and truth, giving clarity into our behaviors and minds, is priceless… The insight and understanding to deceases that many have had to suffer with…. And there is no judgment nor blame at all ….. This line was Great in this interview….Not to be known is to feel Alone…. How we learn to talk before we talk and how our brain absorbs what we obverse, how our triggers are only the match to the underlying trauma and pain we carry inside the stuff people don’t want to discuss….Dr Gabor’s work and dedication is giving Hope and life to many. I believe everyone suffers from some form of an emotional gap, their no perfect…thank you Dr Gabor your work is a Beautiful Gift of Hope in this journey of a life….Grateful 🙏

[@zeromonster3381]

This man is a gift. Thank you GM!

[@sandyellis6068]

What good fortune we have to see and hear this wise, wise old man mentoring us ❤️ Beyond fabulous.

[@flynnzilla8796]

Why is his age relevant?

[@catherinewilson1079]

I don’t see him as THAT old!!!

[@LindaKordich]

Old man?

[@sandyellis6068]

@@flynnzilla8796 lived a long time, learned a great deal. Accumulated knowledge, experience through the years. The word ‘old’ is not a criticism

[@budogacha]

@@flynnzilla8796 aye child ,trauma makes us unkind why Dr G mentioned we destructive species.smh

[@brendapolar8506]

This wonderful gentleman saved my life! Thank you for your incredible work, Dr. Mate Thank you for just existing in this world!!

[@deedee9312]

Dr. Gabor is a soul seeker and so right about the right brain ! Left handers have this advantage , left is right! We , as a lefty , develop sympathy, kindness, true awareness and compassion towards others but do be sure not to get trapped and know your right brain for the difference and concrete truths bc people can take advantage and not understand you and then your trapped! Stay authentic ! 😊❤

[@evechoseknowledge1604]

Brilliant, and authentic. “The brain is connected to the heart.” Filled with gratitude & grace for this enlightening moment. Indeed, “Ye shall know thy truth, and the truth shall make you free ,” (John 8:32)✨

[@anitachojnacki4512]

Life changing❤

[@hippiechick04]

this is one of the most eye opening videos to me. i really have given up my connection with self for the need of attachment like what😭 i do this all the time bc getting judged feels like a huge deal like i cant even handle it sometimes

[@yoganature3598]

Trauma is “a thing” Healing is acceptable 😌 Conflicts can collapse 🤓 Insight is love is wisdom Allow ease Recall love 🙋‍♀️Love you self ❤️ from self 🥰 - a self medication e-poem

[@courtneyawalsh]

Lovely. 🙏🏼

[@rafeeqwarfield9690]

Nice

[@deedee9312]

Love this 👊🏽✊🏼🙌❤

[@kathleendelaney335]

i was over protected by my father and siblings and put down verbally by mother I love your knowledge I love finding out the truth

[@pdatnc]

I can totally relate to this. I've had tons of trauma in my lifetime - some very extreme. I totally believe that the trauma I experienced as a pre-verbal two-year-old is the one that has had the biggest effect on me. I love his work on addiction. I used to show his YT video: The Brain and Addiction to my clients. It very scientifically related the craving for substances to the human brain. It was a way of helping them to drop the "baggage," and begin the healing journey. He has helped so many people that he'll never even know...

[@selmathornton5489]

Yessss!! Body keeps the score. LMT here. My purpose is helping human beings access, process and release trauma. ❤

[@sheenadavaul3037]

I am currently in school to obtain my MT certification. Massage therapy was the one of the main things that helps me get through a year of frozen shoulder. During that time I had many emotional releases on the table. And it really changed things for me. So much so that I want to be able to help people in this way. Do you have any recommendations for learning to help clients “access, process and release their trauma”?

[@robynhope219]

Oh, I believe it...I am more authentic in my approach to life and feel better for it. Or maybe I should say I am more expressive bc I always was authentic. Authenticity tho, doesn't always make you friends.

[@joyb5525]

This so related to adopted guys, alcoholics. Smack. But mostly I noticed it wasn't their lives that the trauma occured in but inherited in DNA. A lot commited suicide. Gabor is a Saint in our time. Bravely speaking the truth.

[@DannyPoet]

Gabor is amazing.. so much of what he says just rings so true

[@everydayvacaytaj]

He's so great

[@i-love-comountains3850]

This is so overwhelmingly enlightening for me. Cutting right through all of the noise and putting this experience into words. Thank you💚

[@angelafosse5955]

Love Gabor Mate, he's so calming to listen to

[@notabene2677]

He is spot on!

[@nobody687]

He's speaking my language. I've known about the 3 brains for awhile. And that they have to agree with eachother .

[@leticiamilo4387]

Thanks!❤⚘ Powerful teachings!!

[@julieclifford7698]

Thank you sooo much ♥️💛💚💙

[@dwndmc]

Thank you. Amazing

[@mirafilipovic5162]

Thank you soooo much dr. Mate; it finally explained to me my own early childhood trauma similar to yours!

[@in.spired.bylife]

I love this man and his wisdom 🙏

[@margitm2080]

I also loved the explanation about the brain's hemispheres. Explains so much 👍 He is brilliant!

[@rachelsingermacdonald]

Helpful. Thank you!!!

[@Lemoncare]

Go Gabor. Thank you since 2014. Thank you, ❤️

[@warrenbradford2597]

So, I will never heal if I keep focusing on getting into a relationship with other people. That is one of the reasons why I must live alone one day. So, I can achieve authenticity and begin healing properly. I need to watch more videos on how to be comfortable being alone.

[@robynhope219]

PRACTICE WHAT U PREACH!

[@raniamarouani4131]

very informative and illuminating thank you for that

[@d_majah]

I have such a deep respect for Gabor

[@terencehennegan1439]

Excellent video, very enlightening. Authenticity..Wow !

[@sunrise5567]

I simply cannot get enough of listening to this man! Wow, so much of what he says already made sense to me and so much that makes more sense now after hearing him speak

[@tiffanyjohnson334]

Thank you Jesus

[@Fondlingzunique]

I've done some broad searching over the past 6months and all these terms were new to me. I Started where dr gabore introduced me to trauma concept, however Thais Gibson, (from the personal development school) has an amazing break down on how to heal your traumas thought identifying and understanding your attachment (which can be changed) identifying your needs and tools for reprogramming your mind. And it works

[@AZekO7]

Really good questions! Love interviewers like this, that genuinely ask to understand, makes things refreshing to hear him explain things differently. Thank you

[@virginiaharvey]

Great insight.thank u very much

[@unauthorized664]

Thank you sir. You have such an important message. You are literally saving lives. God bless you. ⚜

[@arusyakkarapetyan2610]

Again wisdom is the answer to most of our problems

[@iloveyellow7214]

Finally 😘 thank youuu for this thank you for sharing *goosebumps* literally

[@DS-nv8bi]

i had trauma while in my mother, i was born with the umbilical cord around my neck causing a lack of oxygen my life has never been good. more trauma as a child more as a young bride and mother. i am 65 and have wished for death for 40 of my 65. now i am alone poor and hurt more than ever. there is no reason that i should have been born alive just to be unwanted. there are many people like me i understand this. i am not depressed i am so so heartbroken to be thrown away by my family. i do not make friends because i can not have many conversations with people before normal questions come up about life, family hopes and dreams.

[@dangergamer5807]

Don't you worry dear. You may were not born for one but for all humanity. Be for all and feel love for yourself, spread love and compassion and you will get it back. Best wishes❤️

[@niconico9748]

I am so sorry for the suffering you had. I hope you get joy in your life, comfort and genuine, good people as friends.

[@whi186]

Family are, for me, the worst insensitive cruel barely human. I have only me, myself & I. But! Not 1 of them could accomplish what I have. Deep pain...but it does pass. I cannot trust anyone. I understand 👍 xo

[@omextracts]

The trauma can also make you stronger and give you a type of resilience to pain, suffering and Chaos. Unfortunately we live in a world where adults can’t stop hurting children. To all of us victims. Be kind to yourself. Breath self love into your soul/being. I love you, you are loved. You are not alone💜🕉🙏🏼

[@ChooseCompassion]

I’ve been following the bar and its teachings and wisdom for decades, and it has totally changed my life. He is a gift to the world that everyone should experience. Peace, blessings and love to everyone up here. ❤

[@aidasanchez1790]

The emotional center in the brain, the limbic system, gets miswired with trauma (emotional, physical, chemical, mental ; sudden or long term ; can be one or a combination of factors) The task is to rewire the brain through cognitive exercises done consistently for several months .

[@deedee9312]

I love you Dr. Gabor🎉 your saving so many lives and helping society as a whole ! Tysm!Authenticity is so key! We can loose it as a child and it takes a lifetime to revive so I pray 🙏🏻 the young generation finds you and holds on ! Your so relatable ! 😢 happy cry ! 😊 let’s all come together ❤ right now 😊