Dr. Ramani Durvasula: You Are Why You Eat

Co-Sponsored by Brookline Access Television and The Brookline Libraries, this program features Dr. Ramani Durvasula and her book "You Are Why You Eat," a book about healthy eating and weight loss. The talk delves into Dr. Durvasula's personal and professional philosophies about healthier eating and why we eat the way we do, and aims to deconstruct the 5 factors that prevent us from attaining healthier eating and healthier bodies.

[@pmmarquezify]

I think there is not a better speaker on psychological health than Dr. Ramani. A true master of her profession, she is so intelligent and speaks with such eloquence in a way that is understandable to anyone. This was a great talk by her and she delivers some information that goes beyond eating. Excellent.

[@KoolT]

High class.

[@richardgonzalez8327]

Can you help me Dr.RAMANI ??

[@angelashaw3744]

Couldn't agree more!

[@elite_always]

Iam v sorry to agree to disagree...I see soe ill...

[@michaeljarjour1237]

I could listen to this woman talk for hours. Brilliant

[@jenniferplunkett6256]

Agreed! She is phenomenal!

[@queenofstitcheswarrior2668]

Agree! She speaks with so much passion, compassion and knowledge 👌🏼

[@watsonsaquatics7604]

Michael Jarjour I agree, her voice is so therapeutic xxx

[@nikij3754]

Me toooo!!!

[@emmajane737]

She has a KZbin!

[@dcvarsha5]

"At the end of it they not gonna throw you a parade because you did everything they asked you to"

[@alaalfa8839]

Obession of perfectionism.

[@devidaughter7782]

so true, the 'thank you' I did receive was very unsatisfying, and didn't come anywhere close to making up for the cost I had incurred to please them!

[@shinysideup7450]

I follow Dr Ramani’s Narcissist series but this is the first time I’ve seen this video on the eating book. I bought the book on my kindle and I’m looking forward to reading it. Such a phenomenal woman. She’s incredibly bright and so “real”. I’m grateful to have found her! 🙏

[@kirstieb8025]

she’s a victim of narcissistic abuse. never feels good enough.

[@melodyal3357]

Same here. I had nooo idea that she speaks about this topic/issue too :OOO

[@tonyascott7887]

So true stayed in marriage for his kids more than myself, and in the end when he was done, so were they.🤦🏻‍♀️. Never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

[@mariamkinen8036]

Never be a full-time psychiatrist to your partner . Be reciprocal.

[@tonyascott7887]

Never marry a psychologist 🤣🤣🤣...plumbers and leaky pipes.

[@devidaughter7782]

thank you for sharing this! I was with a man who immediately made me a 'mother figure' for his children, and this became a powerful hook that bound me to him. if I had given up myself to 'stay for them', I don't know if I could have made their lives much better, as I was in a compromised position just being with him! we can't make a solid structure from a faulty foundation!

[@olgaanisimova6916]

Enjoyed every minute of this profound yet so simple speech. She is such a great speaker, so charismatic and intelligent

[@laurielamarche815]

Agreed! If you watch some of her other work you learn that she wouldn't appreciate being called charismatic. 😉 Typically charismatic people give her the creeps. 😄

[@Ronnymikkonen2686]

@@laurielamarche815 We know " something" about, charismatic's!

[@laurielamarche815]

Regina Mikkonen truth sister!😉 Even before I heard the good Doctor say it, from watching previous stuff, I started to realize that these charming, charismatic people were likely a much bigger threat than I had ever understood in my past. I would love to see her put together something specifically aimed at educating teens on how to spot cluster B personalities, especially NPD. If I had understood 25 years ago what I understand now...

[@Ronnymikkonen2686]

@@laurielamarche815 me too! If I had understand! When I was younger I had he'll of a time coping with all the shit those narcs put on me! Now I now!

[@devidaughter7782]

maybe we can say "warm, vibrant, engaging, personable" in place of 'charismatic' - which has a performance quality to it.

[@piyushsopory5817]

She is intelligent, smart , pleasant and damn so beautiful

[@shelleys1872]

Extremely beautiful

[@brucelevine6517]

I was ashamed to say that myself but not discounting her intellect i found her in her heavyer self sexually atractive but was ashamed to say so im glad you brought it up

[@brucelevine6517]

@Optimus Phoenix Prime only 1/3 if you are full

[@laurabriese9506]

Living authentically is the key to Joy.

[@a.k.4085]

@@countdamoney8128 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[@jessicacanterbury5557]

“One big ticket decision where they did not follow instinct in the name of their stake holders and it was the biggest mistake of their life” that hit deeply

[@hfortenberry]

It's very difficult to hear but worth putting your face to the speaker. I love Dr. Ramani Durvasula. She's so kind and courageous and vulnerable and authentic and brilliant. And she's so pretty (with or without makeup) and a beautiful person! Thank you for following your instincts finally, Ramani, and following the path that led you to do this.

[@AmethystWoman]

I'm so glad she ditched the need to be "Hollywood" and just be herself. Her smart is her smart.

[@m.s.6586]

So incredibly odd seeing this title after watching Dr. Ramani talking about narcissism for the past year and half!!😳😳

[@lourdesterry649]

Okurrrr

[@nocarblisa]

Being called fat as a kid because I was the tallest in my class, so my clothing size number was greater, impacted my entire adulthood. Size 9 dress at 5’ 11’ is NOT fat, but after a few good years, when the guys hit their growth spurt and I wasn’t the tallest anymore, and only in high school & university, I eventually succumbed to the belief that I was fat and became fat and am still fat 20 years later, although I eat healthier than most people I know. Parents can be so cruel and the effects are long lasting and hard to shed. Never mind being raised by a covert narc mother, then marrying one, which is why I ended up at this video in the first place. She has so much to share that I can relate with!

[@blueskythinking8312]

My story. Except im only 5'3'' and now almost obese

[@AmethystWoman]

Over the year, she has done tons of videos. I'm sure you are aware but wanted to make sure. Healing is awesome.

[@makaylahollywood3677]

This woman is highly intelligent, caring and beautiful. I love her.

[@joeshepherd9815]

She can literally talk for hours and every single second of it is interesting and meaningful

[@yandhi4202]

such a captivating speaker. litterly see this same comment everywhere

[@josephinebrevig8748]

Couldn't agree more. I follow her on KZbin. She's changing, saving lives, literally.

[@davidace5864]

This is the video that made me realize you shouldn’t feel a little sick from eating so much after each meal

[@uminomae]

Now this woman is the wonder! Wow you are PRACTICAL, have a crush on your intellect..!

[@makaylahollywood3677]

My dream to meet Dr. Ramani and talk with her, she is an intelligent, kind and genuine person.

[@FreeSpirit47]

Dr. Ramani looks fantastic after her weight loss. It makes her face smaller with her eyes looking bigger. She is so smart! I'm so glad she chose psychology instead of finance.

[@josephinebrevig8748]

@@LiveFaustDieJung couldn't agree with you more. Her beauty within, her intellect is what i am drawn to.

[@josephinebrevig8748]

She's not this size any more. She's bigger. That's not what defines her. She's still beautiful in my eyes. She's such a treasure for this world.

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@josephinebrevig8748 She is a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. I bet she still wears the same size earrings she wore in high school. ;)

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@josephinebrevig8748 I used to listen to her a lot until she jumped on the bandwagon & started talking about politics. The political garbage was everywhere, so, I stopped listening to her, then.

[@jerryfoster4601]

I could look at and listen to her hours on end!

[@AmethystWoman]

I have listened to her hours on end and yes, she is very expressive. In later videos, I love how she rolls her eyes. And ditched the Hollywood crap.

[@Max-mh5yo]

God what a wonderful person she is.

[@nehakhanna9982]

It’s a delight to listen to Dr. Ramani. She knows psychology and uses its intelligently . More power to her !

[@moirosalina]

This is gold, for me anyway. I have a babygirl and I kept offering the spoon. Not till the bowl was empty but still It didn't even feel good, but I thought otherwise she wouldn't het enough nutrients. This makes me realize that 1 I don't have to be so insecure and 2 fear is a bad coach

[@swfcindy]

Warm & genuine. Intelligent & articulate. What a treasure Dr. Ramani is!

[@josephinebrevig8748]

Couldn't agree more.

[@wendyhannan2454]

This lady is so smart, and so down to earth. I love listening to her.

[@froandcara]

Agree 💯 . Makes me so sad when parents (9/10) force their children’s eating habits.

[@xino_z]

I don't enforce the clean plate at all. My daughter is a master grazer. While very annoying when trying to avoid food borne illness, I just threw some press and seal on my subscription list. Whatever.

[@aliciascat9433]

I’m 30, I’m on $115,000 a year, clean plate club BMI, 23. Getting a divorce, on antidepressants, they work, I’m happy. Been on keto diet, it works! Work with people with mental illness. University degree. This Dr is AMAZING!!!!

[@AmethystWoman]

How are things a year later? How are you?

[@josephinebrevig8748]

Please follow her on KZbin. She is truly a treasure.

[@nirmalachandra8445]

nice I'm trying to change my relationship with food

[@TheOnlyClassyLady]

Seeing her talk about her diet and eating habits.. man. It really never gets easier 😥

[@laurabriese9506]

Dr.Ramani you look so well balanced. I am so happy for you. I will be buying your book I am in a transition point in my life as well. I am trying to to get back to my independent self. The woman I was before I married a Narc who brought a stepson Narc and his birth mother into my peace filled life. Also I will be getting a dog as now my daughter is 34 Very balanced And my stepson is still living in his mothers basement and blaming everyone for his chaos also he is now diagnosed as Psychopathic with boarderline personality disorder. He is someone I never want to see again. I will be closing on a home 6/26/2020 my Independence Day

[@simarsingh2620]

Love your honesty

[@swfcindy]

Love this woman!

[@pauladonnelly3367]

Wow Dr. Ramini is amazing!

[@dawnacoxon3111]

I’m only 18 minutes in...I have always loved you Dr Ramani but wow a whole new level of love and respect! So grateful to have found your work/channel!

[@googlela1029]

24:55 love the way you handled that situation! Great content Dr. Ramani.

[@FeelGoodWithin]

Thankx so much Gr8 tips🤗

[@mafdapadilla]

I absolutely loved this video. I learned a lot and it was a illuminating moment, to learn about mindfulness and about listening to no one but yourself and to learn that eating healthy and making healthy choices is not an easy task for other people as well. I kept thinking that maybe I struggle more with food and what I eat or don't eat than other people, and maybe that's not true.

[@alissacarter9979]

Never do we hear the psychology behind what to eat! I love this! Thanks so much for the information and I plan to use it. Amazing!

[@lachicarivers51demilo52]

Just found this video with Dr. Ramani. What a treasure of a find. Brilliant information. ❤️

[@Amadeus8484]

"You made me walk through fire asshole! We're done!" That's awesome LOL

[@amymor2559]

An absolute mind opener! I love this woman, she's truly inspiring! Thank you so much for your insight!!

[@buckwheat_flower]

Love you so much Dr Ramani 💗💗

[@peacefreedom5563]

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is so great..thank you so much.

[@helencrowhurst2364]

Many wonderful take home points! Thank you Dr Ramani. ❤️

[@masterphotog4131]

Thank you Dr. Ramani, I continue to learn from you. Keep up the good work!

[@blubbblubb6239]

great! Probably the use of willpower in the mornings is one of my diet "secrets"... just packing healthy low calorie food in the morning and taking with me. But no money to buy sth at lunchtime. So I end up eating my healthy food, even if I have cravings in the afternoon as I don't have a choice.

[@morena6717]

I love Dr Ramani! She has a lot of empathy and really know how to make situations relatable! This was most interesting!

[@kathleengriffin6214]

Dr Ramani has such a gift for reaching her audience.

[@kikih1580]

Powerful message! Beautiful delivery and smile, so warm. Love Dr. Ramani

[@hollys6299]

I had the finish your plate rule as a kid and how I coped was saving what I was most excited abt eating last as a "reward" and I still eat that way today. Its such a struggle to turn it off, especially at restaurants where the portions served are massive, but I'm still trying to finish my plate.

[@jerrenew.1557]

She explains it better than most. She shares some details I have not heard.

[@angelastoler2482]

This woman and her book are amazing. This is an "everyone" read, whether you;ve struggled with food or not (but especially if you have!)

[@gamzeklc8845]

We need a Ramani for every centuries, beautiful..

[@user-fu1nw7kh2h]

You are an inspiration Dr. Ramani . ❤️

[@jamiefelt942]

Thank you Dr Romani, I have been listening to you for months. You literally saved my life. God bless you❤️

[@mjrotondi5086]

She is bery relateable and easy to be around. I like her very much. Good teacher.

[@ritamariemartinez3129]

Very good session class course. I love it!

[@hfortenberry]

Wow, I love the idea of making the food difficult or time-consuming to access and then doing the apple test and asking the FLABS questions. I was never overweight until I quit smoking in my later twenties but a babysitter I'd had at age 3 once wrote a poem about me and in the poem she wrote that when I was bored toddler, I wanted a cookie, so I've always known that I eat when bored. I would like to stop doing that. I will begin implementing those three techniques TODAY! Thank you!

[@rowenabisschoff]

Gold!!!!!

[@josephinebrevig8748]

Discover her channel on KZbin over the lockdown. Please subscribe to her Channel. She's a gem for this world. Just absolutely love her. Her kindness, compassion and authenticity shines so much light. She's one of a kind.

[@palmamingozzi5736]

Robert Sekulski is brilliant, I’m so grateful to be able to listen to these videos, they are so informative and helpful in self development. The problem is there are too many choices. If you don’t have the junk food in the house you automatically reach for healthy choices. Thank you.

[@timothyburgess7980]

Your wonderful keep going .

[@pushparao4819]

She is so young and cute in this I absolutely love her and her brilliant personality and knowledge Perfect diagnosis and capability

[@rachelsimbhu3965]

You look gorgeous doc , love this video

[@YDTibet]

I like that Rama & Sita story :)

[@sadiewinters6394]

It's common amongst all historically poor societies to really push the "clean plate club" and other forms of guilting family members into eating. We see this in some Indian families, some Chinese families, African American families, Eastern Europe, etc etc. Our grandparents never had enough so they fight to make sure we eat more and more and more, which can end up being very damaging

[@kbiswas3791]

Indian society was historically poor? Definitely not before white Colonialists destroyed our traditional agrarian systems. Read before you talk

[@Ctruong88]

Omg Dr. Ramani! I have never seen your videos from this time and you’re so beautiful always

[@cathy9490]

I am listening and reading negative comments. Consider the work this Amazing Dr has put in finding out everything regarding narcissism. Because she knows people are going down the tubes trying to survive. I have read endless comments where people have said she saved their lives. People this is long hard emotional study and learning. I'm going to go back and listen again to the eating part of this video. I had to express my disappointment that she has been attacked by weight.

[@sunshine2049]

volume of speakers is very low. I can hardly hear them

[@Holy_ShihTzu]

assertyourself try headphones

[@sunshine2049]

Leah Lopes Not convenient, sorry

[@saviodias7747]

Get an ear check, at my low qual phone it's quite clear just lie in bed and put phone close to ear

[@laurabriese9506]

Me too I had to put on headphones and turn it up. Might be damaging my hearing lol

[@AmethystWoman]

Very low volume. I'm hoping I can hear it better on my laptop. And I hate things in my ears. The answer is not "get your ears checked." That's gaslighting. Saying it's low volume is just the truth - no need to deny give instructions on how to make it better. Agree and move on. Why yes, yes it is. That is true. "Lie in bed with the phone close to your ear" is admitting yes, it's low volume but before that you say no, it's not. Gaslighting. Watch her tons of videos.

[@delphinium5555]

She's my fav mental health doctor but think there's better advice out there on binge eating disorders

[@pixie3458]

really enjoyed Dr Ramani's honesty about her relationship with food

[@Tinamar65]

I need this Harry Houdini lock!!

[@busybeenation]

You look like a different person. Even your presentation is amazing. Excellent. And thank you for all you do for us.

[@craigsmith1365]

Dr.R sure has gone a long way in mastering her trade.

[@devidaughter7782]

"you know what's best for you; you always have" (8:16). . . not being in touch with our instincts with food is connected with being out of touch with our instincts in other aspects of our lives also. . . "doubt is the one thing that throws us off our instincts more than anything. . .in fact, self-doubt is one of the core symptoms in many mental illnesses like anxiety and depression" (31:20)

[@michelekurlan7950]

another great read,actually a classic to my way of thinking,is "the 3 faces of love" by Charles Hauck. Speaks directly to how people react to change and "countermoves" to restore status quo and how to overcome. There comes a point where we stop discussing and move to action "boycotting" and this is when others react. Unless you are Jesus, Gandhi or Mother Theresa,or the likes,no one respects the martyr(well maybe after they're gone..lol)

[@MsSheilaC]

Oh wow I’m at the point in the interview where you’re talking about how your house was like a 7-Eleven😂… along those lines, I always had a candy drawer. I just didn’t know where to put all the stuff from Easter Halloween Christmas etc. so I dedicated a drawer in my kitchen. The kids grew up knowing candy was at their disposal. It took away the mystique and they rarely ever even went in there. And when they did they asked first and never overindulged. A total accidentally brilliant discovery 😂🙏🏻😊

[@aayushkansal4659]

Idk if I like all the vegetables or I think it is good for me to eat them all no matter what. But, there is something behind my all-okay food habit. I feel like I needed validation since early childhood. And that's I can eat the worst if vegetables. That has turned the debate now to 'what's the best way to eat'.

[@celibee7]

You look amazing u a on point wow am I have leen so much from u

[@iamasoldierofgodkingofking1244]

I have student loans for college for a degree I never wanted. If I don't have the degree "I'm wasting my life."I'm married to a narcissist because I am in my 40's and "need to settle down" "forgive and forget " meaning allow people to get away with what they do to you. That's a "good girl." Well I now have to get used to everyone else being disappointed in me at times instead of me being disappointed in me all the time . And God is helping me. Seriously, Jesus Christ has changed my life. You can heal. Ask God to help you. God bless all in Jesus name Amen

[@canttouchthis9339]

I read 5 books on anorexia. DYING TO PLEASE by Avis Rumney was incredible. When my personality was forming, it was made very clear that we would not receive love unless we looked trim and pretty. Of course, I don't believe that anymore, but healthy living is a part of my personality. Ive learned not to starve myself anymore. It's a good thing. Life is good.

[@alyssaconder4550]

We all know that we use food for the wrong reasons, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO INSTEAD? I was listening to Gabor Mate and he said we aren’t supposed to let our crap get so bad that we have to engage in addictive behaviors. I eat to escape because I don’t drink or do anything people normally escape into, but I don’t know what else to do.

[@dakrontu]

Simple solution that works for me: Get enough sleep. When you haven't had enough, your brain mistakenly thinks you need to eat. If you get enough sleep, you won't even think about food when you get up. The difference is massive. In modern society, people are short of sleep. That's where the overweight tendency comes from. Another thing: Compress the bulk of your food intake each day into a small range of hours. It gives your stomach 'time off'. I have found this has reduced how much food my stomach can take. Also beware being the Eater Of Last Resort in your household, the person who finishes off food that would otherwise expire and end up in the bin. In order to avoid the sinful feeling of wasting food, you will end up over-eating. Beware: This is my guess. It is what works for me.

[@ahc1957]

I want to read your books. Dr. Ramani. My father did not have a weight problem and he never cleaned his plate.

[@johndeal4381]

That's what my mother used to tell me and my brother. 'Clean your plate. Children are starving in India'

[@lorianne4608]

I’ve been watching Doctor Ramini for years! She is wonderful!! ❤️

[@Lily-tj1zo]

I super appreciate this woman's perspectives & find them spot-on. I do think that she may be missing that "Are you sure?" can be an effort to be more respectful in case someone is failing to give their self permission, in many social situations, but she's right that it can be damaging in its effect. :-) i don't say it from a mindless or pushy place, and it's /definitely/ not because i distrust my friends' instincts... it's because i distrust their self-love.

[@salmcdeck]

Holy Crap (sorry) I need this book.

[@jaceyapila3271]

Mann loving hearing another area of life from your talks. This is scary. We were not told stories in youth. Lotsa food yes. But no stores. Thank you for your work.

[@DoxadigitalTeam]

Very informative ! Thanks so much...

[@Analysis_Paralysis]

Yeah, this was so interesting... :)

[@user-ee5om8wy7u]

Working through your emotions helps only with food addiction, but with any addiction, I think. Whether it's food, alcohol, or smoking - they all have the power to numb extremely uncomfortable emotions by intensely high short-term pleasure.

[@Ctruong88]

So hard to leave our addictions…. Seems like it’s impossible. What are we missing that the addiction is filling? Self love? Revelation? Realization? 😢

[@sleepyhermit5758]

One addendum to intuitive eating, is neurodivergent people often struggle with it. I have ADHD, and will often completely forget to eat until I'm STARVING and then either can't eat much cause I feel sick from hunger or gorge myself on everything and feel sick. I generally don't reach my needed calorie goal to not continuously drop weight if I don't consciously force myself to eat. I also have digestive issues that make eating often unappealing. Generally I think intuitive eating is good, but remembering general health guidelines is good.

[@thearodriguez8073]

Sounds like a medication issue affecting you...

[@thearodriguez8073]

Perhaps?

[@cathyschneider2126]

Like Dr. Durvasula but trying to listen at this volume is exhausting. I'll try again on a third device another day, but it is counterproductive to record at a volume so inaccessible.

[@wryckingbaul8612]

Use an external speaker which has its own amplifier, like a Bluetooth speaker.

[@geraldfriend256]

My father was given food instead of apologies as a love substitute..develped comfort eating and obesity..I inherited a weird relationship with food surprised?Old vid but timely for men

[@geraldfriend256]

I meant me typo

[@dharmaasana2758]

if you're quoting Ramayana, you may as well quote the one who said: it's better o do one's swadhrma, than someone else's dharma.

[@Blue_Azure101]

Walking away hahahahaha! Love that part!!

[@Jasmine_Sangma]

What about people like me who overeat not only because of the necessity to finish everything on the plate but also because of the inability to satisfy the craving? This happens to me quite often. Whenever I eat something very tasty whether it is home-cooked food or food from outside, I eat till I almost feel like I am going to burst... like there is no tomorrow! Then again, I regret it later, more so when my tummy hurts. And if any of that food is left over and in the fridge, I cannot wait for the next meal time to eat it. I have been overweight since my childhood and I am 35 now. My parents were always shocked about the amount of food I ate since I was a kid. They told me that once I ate an entire pot of chicken curry alone when I was just about 8-9 years old (my mum cooked it for 2 meals!). I have never ever seen a slimmer version of myself not even in any of my childhood photos. I have tried several diets and exercises but I fail every time. And I don't even eat sweet food because I don't like it and most of my overeating happens with homecooked food. Last year, I worked on myself with the help of a dietician and I lost 15 kilos but after gallbladder surgery which happened 5 months ago, there was a break in my workouts and now, I am gaining back all the weight I lost. I don't know if Doctor Ramani will see it because this was posted a long time ago but I hope someone who reads my comment might see a pattern or recognise the cause of this.

[@kez-chick5647]

Where do you get the book

[@aidahiser5965]

I am from the clean plate club....sucks! I am older and still battle with finishing my plate!

[@pertelote4526]

I grew up in a country where, at some point, all the shelves in the shops were empty and the government distributed food coupons but there was very little food on the market in general. I would not have dreamt about leaving something on my plate, not only because of "the hungry Etiopian children" but mainly because I knew how much time my mum had spent in the queues to get anything to eat. That respect for food has stayed with me until today; I buy frugally, I hardly ever throw away anything edible and I am still skinny :-) So, it goes to show that not every child who emptied the plate to make the mother happy automatically becomes an obese adult with a problematic relationship with food.

[@kathleen8721]

what is the name of the APP mentioned for tracking / reminding of doing one thing everyday?? the promise of one? i can't find it..

[@LauraK93]

I'm dying to hear this whole presentation! But the volume is so low that I can't even hear it with my ear phones! So frustrating!