"Reclaim Your Life!" - Everyday Habits Keeping You From A Life Of Purpose & Meaning | Africa Brooke

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How often do you stop yourself from saying what you really think for fear of being rejected, punished, or not fitting in? Whether it's sharing our true thoughts at work, online, or with loved ones, self-censorship can prevent us from fully expressing ourselves and living authentically. It can also have profoundly negative consequences for our health and happiness.
This week’s guest is Africa Brooke, an internationally recognised consultant, accredited coach, public speaker and podcaster. She’s also the author of the wonderful new book, ‘The Third Perspective: Brave Expression in the Age of Intolerance’.
In our conversation, Africa explains the different ways in which we silence ourselves and the severe consequences, over time, when we don’t change course. She also explains the importance of creating a culture where everyone has room to mess up, stumble, learn and grow - privately and publicly - without the overwhelming pressure to be perfect.
Africa shares her journey with addiction and reveals how it taught her valuable lessons about the importance of self-honesty and authentic expression for personal wellbeing and growth. She emphasises that the path to overcoming self-censorship starts with self-awareness, taking responsibility for our values, and practising honest expression, even if it feels uncomfortable.
We also explore how we can better approach disagreements with others, the importance of avoiding absolutist thinking and how we can model healthy expression for our children, by showing up as our imperfect selves - by living and speaking our truth, we build trust and give them permission to do the same.
I think Africa is someone who is talking about a crucially important topic in the most beautiful, profound and compassionate way. My hope is that this conversation serves as a powerful reminder of the freedom and wholeness that comes with authentic self-expression and how embracing our true voice is a courageous and transformative act.
#feelbetterlivemore
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Connect with Africa:
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Africa’s book:
The Third Perspective: Brave Expression in the Age of Intolerance US: amzn.to/4btZsuQ UK: amzn.to/4bmmvYq
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[@DrChatterjeeRangan]

Looking for shorter clips or content? Check out my @DrChatterjeeClips channel

[@Parkinson63]

We must remember that its neither necessary or advisable that we have or share a viewpoint on everything

[@jollymollyramram9702]

Africa speaks about “social filter, context and reading the room”. Self censorship is a deep need to express something that’s important to you but out of fear you choose not to so that. That was my take😊

[@upendasana7857]

@@jollymollyramram9702 totally

[@juliepenney2683]

@@jollymollyramram9702👏🏽👍🏽

[@MYTUBEYOURTUBE2008]

Absolutely! This is explored in the episode. Love it🤍

[@jennifernorton6202]

@@jollymollyramram9702Exactly! This is me unfortunately at times.

[@IceChampakaWolf888]

Im learning to put people in their place and not be afraid no matter who and what. I can't do this anymore . Trying to keep peace and avoid conflicts, that is not me. Oh God please help me in Jesus Mighty Name Amen 🙏

[@beverleyreid563]

I am with you. I need to find my tribe.

[@kyneikeking5954]

I totally understand

[@RootRole]

Trauma is not only from childhood but many healers focus on childhood. I like that she's tapping to identifying adulthood Traumas

[@bigupyuself]

Yes, and so on my channel I focus on self prioritization and self celebration - celebrating surviving - and all it takes to survive- and we should take credit for those things

[@dluredivine7298]

The reason why they focus on childhood is because our childhood is what mold us into the adult that we are today .

[@bigupyuself]

Yes, that's where it all begins 🥰

[@TemsD]

Absolutely. I love that as well

[@suganya9838]

I love her and her aura. She is so calm

[@lovejoyful606]

Her turtle neck and vest is gorgeous especially with her hair cut!

[@RootRole]

I love her approach to this topic. Many times, I do not say what I want to say because of wanting peace

[@shes_ah_truckher7716]

And this is where I’m at currently. God is moving and doing some shifting. He’s shifting me from a ministry that I’ve been at for a very long. It’s a family ministry (well my mom, aunt, grandma, cousins…attend there as well) So now I’m at place where I’m listening and feeling The need to get away from my familiarity. I wanna keep the peace because I know they’re gonna try to say some things to keep me there, but I can’t keep being concerned about what they will say I have to do it FOR ME.

[@paullkmokete5018]

This what we all do, we shy away from expressing how we feel deep inside for the sake of peace.Thank you Africa for the conversation.

[@bigupyuself]

Self censorship - I did an episode on my channel challenging the idea of fulfillment and I don't believe fulfillment is achievable in this life - I feel like chasing fulfillment is like chasing the wind - many people disagree though

[@EcomCarl]

her insights into the perils of self-censorship are a profound reminder to embrace authenticity in our personal and professional lives. Breaking free from the expectations of others not only fosters genuine self-expression but can ultimately lead to a more fulfilling existence. 🌟

[@stevekaylor5606]

To be inner directed - not other directed!

[@irenechinoda6050]

absolutely! you summed it up so beautifully. thank you

[@snayemdubu4179]

AFRICA BROOKE EVERYBODY!!!

[@heatherorr3478]

❤ I love this conversation between two beautiful humans helping others, trying to navigate the human experience. I am so grateful for this... thank you so much! 💓

[@shopmegumi]

africa brooke is inspiring. her voice and courage, authenticity and integrity… in the world of self abandonment and self betrayal… is so needed.

[@jccn1728]

I listened to the entire episode!!! OUTSTANDING AND LIFE CHANGING

[@sdmbusiness]

This is a conversation I need, the world needs... Thank you Rangan and Africa for modelling the art of conversation, sharing ideas, wisdom, and compassion for a weary world. 🙏

[@janetmumcu3547]

Oh my goodness this has just come with perfect timing. I have been chewing on something since yesterday, it has been eating me up. You have given me the courage to speak out. Thankyou.

[@beverleyreid563]

You always have to have the courage to speak up. No matter what.

[@SoSoMystakn]

Self censorship!! That avoidance gap is uncomfortable no matter how short the void. True authenticity makes some uncomfortable. Learning to be my transparent self regardless. I am never going to be for everyone.

[@ayodeler39]

Very helpful conversation. As I prepare to publish my mother’s memoire on line and accept that it’s a deeply therapeutic process I expect to break free from the expectations of others and eventually feel deeply healed and comfortable with my identity 🙏🏿

[@tiisetsosephai]

This conversation spoke to me a lot

[@becagardner7594]

Its not just discernment its wisdom

[@shopmegumi]

absolutely beautiful content. God bless Africa and everyone here. So beautiful and genuine…

[@nasabapayi]

This conversation is so fulfilling that i deeply related with so many parts of it. I will come back to this each time i need to relisten something i have skipped. I am releasing myself from that golden cage " and i forgive myself for having stayed in it too long. I will practice and learn continuously foe my higher self. It is a daily process and i will indulge in it deeply. Thank you Rangan and Africa for sharing your hearts out.

[@seabiscuit726142]

The chemistry between these two is electrifying.

[@nandspeartree7263]

I absolutely loved this, such a meaningful conversation, I relate so well to Africa, it's actually quite comforting and allows me to be self- compassionate without feeling like I'm feeling sorry for myself ❤, I love your work Ragan🙏

[@madelineinca]

Only 31 and so wise. I could be her mother and I'm still trying to figure things out.

[@chinadoll3066]

Your not alone ❤

[@madelineinca]

@@chinadoll3066 I'll keep trying to my last day though. Thank you for your response! 😊

[@irenechinoda6050]

me too

[@yvetterodriguez9411]

This is truly special. It highlights how social media and technology have made it easier than ever to achieve wealth and success in all areas of life. By paying attention and putting in the effort, we can all thrive. The type of work varies for each of us, so it's crucial to discover your unique talent and refine it. We all possess these gifts, and now is the perfect time to utilize them. This wise queen exemplifies the power of wisdom. What's your gift? Utilizing our talents is the new path to thriving, not just for one generation, but for everyone. Thank you, Ms. Brooke.

[@utualan]

You can compromise so as not to offend good people, (e.g not wearing culturally unacceptable western clothes with family, understanding their conditioning compassionately), but be rigid when attempting to overcome evil or plain wrong situations such as questioning Covid19 lock downs and unproven jabs.

[@TheVioletzskin]

So healing...full. loved it. Thank you !!!❤

[@kassahunaberamolla3284]

Very nice Conversation! Thank you both of you🙏🏿

[@Susan-xj5uh]

Thank you for this very enlightening podcast. I learned so much as you are both so very knowledgeable and easy to listen to. 🙏❤🙏

[@user-wf3eg5qs1b]

Wow! Wow! She is so so so Beautiful!!!❤ so intelligent. Love my African beauty. From Mama Victoria- South Africa,Johannesburg.

[@alleyzipzero1]

This was one of the best interviews I’ve ever watched on KZbin. You both really touched a place in my mind AND in my heart. Really great job ❤

[@ST-pp3fk]

Beautiful content. Thank you so much to both of you 🙏

[@RahDa-op5wo]

Thank you for existing Africa and Dr Rangan. I appreciate this podcast more than i can express in words. I will send positivity and good thoughts your way

[@estherbuchanan1570]

This woman is so elegant and beautiful..

[@juliemidgley5287]

Absolutely 10/10 conversation. Thank you both for this amazing podcast.

[@Emptymoon1]

Absolutely loved this interview! It was informative, thought-provoking, and totally engaging. By far the best I've seen. Dr., your research and interviewing style brought out great depth from Ms. Brooke. Thank you both!🙌🙌♥️♥️

[@carolynland1950]

This was such a powerful conversation! Thanks so much 💜

[@vanhoudtshoorn]

Beautiful conversation. Thank you❤

[@teclar3560]

Came to me at the right time ❤thank you

[@kathrynmarrero5263]

Wow wow this was absolutely amazing I am absolutely blown away with gratitude 🙏🏽 ❤thank you both for this powerful message Blessings and love

[@arvinsenglishph2293]

Wow Finally I saw Africa, I'm super fan of her wisdom and persuation!

[@sw6454]

Africa Brooke… totally agree.

[@LeloSikhosana]

Thank you Dr Rangan and Africa, I loved this conversation! With regards to how we approach others, I was taught in my culture that you always greet to acknowledge the other person (sawubona, a zulu greeting, directly translated literally means 'I see you'). But as I've interacted with others I've realised how much this is taken for granted. In fact, it seems to annoy a few people when you greet them, oh and then you ask 'how are you' and you see the frustration on their face because now they need to answer you...

[@kimberlysauber5601]

What an absolutely gorgeous woman!!! The outside as well as the inside!! A Beautiful human!!

[@aesogoogleuser334]

This is such a fulfilling and freeing conversation. Thank you both for sharing so generously and pouring into our lives. I appreciate the intellectual gymnastics and gems 💎 I can always rely on getting from your podcast. Thank you!

[@izabelapicone9869]

Hi!Thank you ! Have a great day 😊

[@adelewilliams2693]

An transformative, transparent,, effortless and vibrant discussion🧡

[@thandolwethukhwethana3923]

Loved every sec of this conversation

[@irenechinoda6050]

Thank you so much for the education you imparted in this conversation..it’s going to help me find myself. my voice as i acknowledge my broken past as an african woman who was shortchanged in many ways as a little girl growing up in zimbabwe. ….a lot of speaking truthfully about me and walking away and heal. I can’t thank you enough. God bless you and the work you do both ❤. I am going to share this with my 33 year old daughter…the future looks bright because knowledge is power! I can never thank you enough ❤

[@vadoradoars6272]

Thank you

[@cherylswann8084]

Thank you to you both - Rangan and Africa - amazing podcast. Soul nourishing x

[@anatavares9013]

Omg, who is this lady? I am loving this podcast. I have turned the tv on and just put anything to make noise on background as i work, and i cannot even express how makes me feel. Thank you sooooo much for such a great content❤❤❤❤

[@picmenose]

Thank you so much for this conversation, it was so needed. I'm pretty much a loner but I do use FB as a social place, lovely people who share music with me. But occasionally I comment about the world in general and some of these beautiful people turn every word I say into something other. At this point because I never like confrontations I back away and feel almost the way I did when I was abused as a child. I have so much to contribute but at times just back away from reaching out.

[@rosebuhr]

Hi Rangan, loving this podcast.

[@ashhashope333]

I'm with Africa when she talks about the "africa" she was when she was drinking...i couldn't resonate or identify more with how she feels about "that afreica"

[@JiuDN]

Thank you for sharing your story ❤️ very brave and bold.

[@sarahnabudde4748]

Beautifully said👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾wow thought provoking. Thank you for your inspiration to start conversations that would never have happened

[@MKFajem]

Hello Rangan, hello Africa, still not through the talk and you are voicing so much of my thought already. I felt deeply hurt when a relative of mine who lives in a country where manners and etiquette seems to be still very important, at one time just stopped greeting and going right into the message in our WhatsApp exchange. That would be okay in an ongoing daily conversation, however it was hurtful when these greeting were just cut out in an occasional exchange, while at the same time, the greeting was still used with other people. When you brought up this matter it was a release and I can see it more as a potential general behavior rather than just another attempt of belittling. There are many other valuable nuggets and o definitely will listen to this conversation more than once. Thank you

[@ancystephen7101]

What a clarity of thought!!!

[@ahmad1239112]

Great content

[@user-ho3pu3di9p]

Perhaps discernment/social filtering is other-focused, while self-censoring is self-focused... analogous to the distinction between guilt and shame?

[@upendasana7857]

"social filtering"is about thinking whether you might cause unncessary offense,harm or upset and self censoring"is more when you are scared or fearful you may find rejection or social exclusion due to expressing your true thoughts or feelings.

[@bigupyuself]

Yes, that part. Because we don't feel like we're enough and not worthy of the space we occupy

[@PerpetuaIgecha]

Very helpful ❤❤❤

[@GeraldineCarletonCarleto-sq2uz]

I wish I had found your channel along time ago

[@Khumo_fit]

I love how she laughs 😂❤️

[@gailpowell4955]

Powerful ❤

[@upendasana7857]

I think the example Rangan gave of his mum making a comment about his weight is something that has been normal or common in many families and sometimes it might be meant as Rangan said his mum meant is as an expression of concern that he is looking after himself and sometimes in a way that is critical or demeaning or just some kind of judgement on a person "gaining weight". I think we have all become alot more conscious about making comments about a person's body or weight but it was very common a few decades ago but I think intent is everything and Rangan knew his mother meant well. I think it is a cultural shift though where we are more aware of eating disorders and senstivities around body image which 20 years ago or so we weren't.Cultures change and do not stay the same and what is and isn't acceptable change.

[@kristycarter4254]

@DrChatterjeeRangan This is really good...there needs to be a follow-up podcast on effective communication and self-expression (if there's such a thing...)

[@FayeDiscover]

Lovely ❤

[@TemsD]

Profound Interview and lessons. Thanks for sharing

[@Junegermaine]

Oh this is Golden ✨

[@mandicross5199]

Love this, well done you two. ❤

[@SoSoMystakn]

Ouch! “That’s a lot of work or too much work” is the frequent go to. Holding back on true thoughts is the safest… no energy to deal with the reactions. Avoid the “angry woman syndrome” “disrespectful child syndrome” response to setting boundaries.

[@jacobshrimpton]

Some really interesting opinions voiced here, thank you as always. I would be totally remiss if I did not point out to you that you can turn the comments section off if it bothers you seeing negative things said, because it will just continue to happen. The internet provides anonymity & a chance to get an often contradictory opinion across. More often than not as well if i have replied "rudely" it would be because you have said something that directly contradicts with something I have said & also given said ideas a chance to reach thousands if not hundreds of thousands via osmosis. Per example you love your Johnny Wilkinson story however the guy didn't suffer (in my opinion) & when I hear you tell his story as an individual who has had to deal with real trauma I get offended & should be given the chance to get that across to you.

[@SoSoMystakn]

Internet social media was an example. Unfortunately many of our experiences are in places where we can’t turn off comments like in the workplace. Selective freedom of expression where the individual setting the boundary is the labeled the aggressor.

[@LearnSupportRepeat]

22:12 🤫 Thank you

[@maricastill9282]

😮 Yes absolutely there's "Self sponsorship" in whatever way you're trying to differentiate it . Yes you have to be that way around any particular setting. People will eat up at you and your spirit..... People can be true Savages*

[@fowziyoahmed3975]

Interesting 🤔 it’s true alot of people are dead inside don’t know who they are anymore just want peace ✌️

[@user-zo6oz9wi7e]

Wantibi 👍

[@evelynbarry5046]

He should have said he was quoting Bronnie Ware at the beginning from her book Top 5 Regrets of The Dying

[@angelicaramirez5385]

❤❤❤

[@wildlyabundantwoman]

❤

[@user-bx4ph1xo6n]

It's really hard to speak your mind and stay true to your beliefs in some work environments. I really hope that what I'm doing today, led me to that freedom.

[@SoSoMystakn]

Someone is always offended despite the intent.

[@sweetyogajustine]

So hard to be self expressive when it’ll break an elderly family member who wants to follow my work online. I made an excuse up to explain they won’t see my posts because of an elaborate algorithm change but I’m still not expressing as I want to.

[@beverleyreid563]

I get severely punished (and harmed) because I don't go with the flow or follow the norm. I tend to go against the grain. And that makes me very unpopular (even hated).

[@isagrace4260]

I really love your content but I wish it were in slightly more digestible nuggets! It’s so hard for me to get through this in full long form but it’s also so valuable. Any way to spread it out a bit more?

[@pausekatrine3975]

youtube.com/@drchatterjeeclips?si=GdkHubhtAFW0bj55 Clips 🙂

[@nfaoussoukouyate1963]

Don't act your care about me I got that

[@aaronbrock9480]

But I did know better. I really did and I did it anyway. How does one forgive that?

[@sw6454]

Yes the book can be seen as a health book because I am in a narcissistic relationship with a husband who blames everything that goes wrong in his life on everybody else. His narrow minded views are forced upon me and he does not have the ability to understand other’s opinions. He swears he’s always correct and one day every one will see he was right. I’m not exaggerating here.

[@vanhoudtshoorn]

the true worth of artists and craftsmen should be appreciated, for they advance the affairs of mankind. - Baha’u’llah, from a tablet translated from Persian

[@nidhi9196]

Which movie is it - the son of?

[@christahill7151]

The Zone of Interest

[@melowndes]

Thank you!

[@tonneetyler]

🎉 do you think people can ever stop using curse words?????

[@melowndes]

Does anyone remember the film they recommended?

[@melowndes]

The Zone of Interest

[@Anonymas-di6zc]

Hello and a huge thank you for your teaching 💕 I have a question : how do you feel when poeple stand up for you 🙏💕, staying polite and spot him/her out, with sentences like " I hope you don't build your opinion on that 1 min video... ) I don't say them, you do this or that, I presum they don't, guessing they do it. When I have enough materiel , I use it to show they lie 😅 And I show my anger, for example : if it wasn't for the respect of the KZbinr I would talk to you with as much respect as you give. Often after the last one they attac me 😅😅 and they'r done, because I send laughing 🤣🤣 and say how much I love to see my impact " with the case I had, he stoped Sending 🙏💕😅 Would that help you ? I did it for me, impossible to not stand up when a Troll puts down a person, Who's teaching made it possible for me to save my life and I can put intoo practice what I learned and how fast I was done with him, using the teaching was impowering and I hope made it easyer for my beloved KZbinr 💕🙏🐛🦋 Your both teaching are Amazing 🚀 that's how it speeds my healing, by put in practice and wire with my work and it does an unbelivibal numbers of times with lots of different poeaple and disciplines, for real I had no information against my work only complet it and I learn how to work better.... That's Amazing 💕 I got my informations through books, but there was not much at that time and far as clair, but helped a lot and my experiences, dreams ( sleep), observations, introspection, mirror effect 🎉🎉🎉❤❤

[@user-zo6oz9wi7e]

Terima kasih atas semua pembahasan tentang aku bapak ibu yang menonton mendapingi ,menjadi saksi dan Tuhan Allah pun melihat segala perbuatan sikap perilaku yang di tampilkan di hadapan bapak ibu teman teman semua oke kiranya di berkati Tuhan Allah ampuni dosaku oke Ilove you Jesus Christ ♥️👍

[@sheenatiller3502]

What is the name of the movie they spoke of?

[@mbuyidziba]

Zone of interest

[@Sophie-ks2jx]

I had to laugh after hearing they can't follow you after this post. I think that sums up everything. It is wild that we've come to a place where if we don't agree 100% then you're completely discarded and everything you have to say is irrelevant horrible. It speaks volumes of what our country is going through at the moment in the united states. Love your podcast.

[@SoSoMystakn]

“Why is this criticism bothering me?” TRIGGER alert. Politeness Exhaustion from the “be the bigger person” “don’t take it personal” deflection response.

[@FromMyPerspective0]

10:17

[@user-zo6oz9wi7e]

Saya berharap di proses secara hukum sebagai aparat hukum yang bertugas menegakan hukum di wilayah Elia ok thanks ♥️👍

[@user-zo6oz9wi7e]

Wantubi nowebac epi singebert kolonel never dhe way meny ai di monopoli itu adalah hak aku oke thanks ♥️👍

[@ridefastcoaching]

I should start by saying I enjoy a lot of your stuff but I think this is a pretty confused piece of work. Clearly there's a book to sell but despite starting the conversation with the importance of clarity of definition, much of the conversation (in my view) is tied up with rhetoric and platitudes. Cultures differ between those that are more individualistic and those that are more focused on the collective and social cohesion is vital to both - externalising your inner thoughts and being your 'authentic self' is not always socially appropriate, call it self censorship or judgement, whatever...

[@MYTUBEYOURTUBE2008]

I’m curious to know if you listened to the whole episode?

[@ridefastcoaching]

@@MYTUBEYOURTUBE2008 No, I think I lasted about 40 mins or so.

[@melowndes]

Ha ha😂. Finding it hard to speak up! I listened to the whole thing - and am listening again because I want to know the film they recommended - but it was boring and I didn't get much from it. Too much repetition. Stretched out. Could be much shorter. In my humble opinion.

[@Prodigalson55]

Ha ha