Mindreading and Borderline Personality Disorder

[@latisha334]

This is what I’ve been trying to explain to my doctor for YEARS! I feel like I know what people are thinking by their expressions, demeanour, vibe, and words. I just know what they’re thinking. It makes my anxiety so much worse because I’m always thinking so much. I also feel like people can ‘read’ me and often try to hide my emotions or stay alone when I feel vulnerable.

[@MrSpicyAlCi]

So true. Feeling the same Bro. Keep calm, breathe and slow down 🔥

[@itsaasdzani1455]

I get paranoid people can read my thoughts so I always poke face and people think IM mad

[@sacredclown4179]

I can " feel you" I don't know if I can read minds but my ability to feel and see things before there going happen makes me somewhat prescient! It makes it so hard to relate to people especially intimate relationships, because I can see bullshit way before the other, the person is either not ready to accept it, and if they do not ready to hear it! So I get labelled an overthinker, to intense etc, I console my lonely existence with the quote " the most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason creates"

[@imaspecialgirllalala]

The only thing I like about it wearing masks now is that I can hide most of my face and also indirect eye contact helps so it doesn’t feel like anyone’s reading into me through my eyes

[@misanthropekirby1610]

Word

[@Tzara86]

This explains why i have social anxiety and no friends...

[@michelemarie7777]

SAME

[@iroamalone6953]

Me too. Let's be social media friends 😁

[@seh2850]

Rather no friends than bad friends.

[@creadorcontenido6970]

@@seh2850 theres no such a thing as bad people: black and white thinking

[@itsaasdzani1455]

Word, same

[@BitterSweetCoffee3]

I feel like I developed this ability because I had to feel save and be ten steps ahead than being harmed. Most of the time, I would be right in my judgement, but the problem is that I dont know how I actually feel because I have poor sense of self and consumed by what others feelings and intentions

[@isabellyshelly8276]

Self fulfilling prophecy perhaps?

[@seh2850]

@@isabellyshelly8276 It doesn't really matter if you are wrong a few times as long as you are are RIGHT on the truly dangerous times. If we were "spies" and avoided a few innocent people but also successfully avoided the assassins, we would b excellent at our jobs. This is what we lived through in childhood, and often recreated in marriage.

[@Stbsfa]

Wow I can relate to pretty much all of this so much it's crazy. :(

[@randompersony61]

Breathe it out 👀 Take a slow deep breath in nose 👃 Out the mouth just as slowly 👄 And shake it all about :D Do this a couple times to clear away the energies in your space, and it will make more way for your own energy Meditation also helps you organize thoughts, if you observe without judgement It helps you connect to you in some ways , Helped me :P Because some thoughts be personal and some can be important to note down :0

[@tammywade3649]

Me too! It was a grandmother who constantly beat me

[@katiekane5247]

Could there also be a bit of hypervigilant behavior as a consequence of parental dysfunction? Could be a chicken/ egg kind of thing. While we,as children, learned to prevent hurt from parents, we became more attuned to slight cues of unhappiness. We may have had fewer positive cues so we never developed the practice of reading positive cues & we therefore see the negative cues more easily.

[@DrDanielFox]

Yes, absolutely.

[@doreenplischke7645]

Katie Kane yes. Absolutely agree. I grew up with only sad angry or disgusted faces. Neutral faces seem utterly rejective. I figured that when I was not in the midst of abuse my parents were disinterested and looked right “ trough me” I felt annihilated every time. And the neutral faces became angry or sad or nasty again... No smiles, no baseline contentment...to mirror at me. Now all I am is either triggered to believe the worst or assume there could be something. I want to be happy and connect to happy ppl but it seems unreachable...

[@katiekane5247]

@@doreenplischke7645 please dont give up. I had almost ruined my relationship with my daughter, sisters & pretty much everyone. I was so anxious, passive-aggressive & controlling. Having a serious brush with death & a couple real good folks to talk honestly to me was my new beginning. Some days, happines/contentment cant be found. Other days, tears come easily but I'm no longer scared of the horrible depression that haunted me. Just living in a home without yelling & tension is the best. I'm not as unloved or unlovable as I thought. Maybe, even physically beat up & 60, I have more happiness ahead. May peace find your heart sister!

[@uselogic117]

Doreen Plischke sounds like your parents were narcissistic. Very traumatizing for children

[@isabellyshelly8276]

Very astute!

[@stinksofbeefio]

My husband txt me in reply to something yesterday "oh ok" - I went crazy! To me it meant he was dissappointed (that i didnt want to watch a movie tonight) and that he was trying to make me feel bad! He wasnt of course.. I only had to stop, observe him, myself and the situation for a moment to realise how I had got it wrong. I apologised and we moved toward. For me this is the most valuable thing I have learned to do in terms of improving my life with BPD. Thanks again Dr Fox

[@kerryirving2949]

Jay Pow I would of though the same!

[@stinksofbeefio]

@@JB-ec2wy Put a smiley face on it... oh ok :) He meant it like that and that's how he is too.. but the point is I went crazy like " WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT HAVING TIME TO MYSELF?! " I got so angry so fast I couldn't txt quickly enough so I called him and got angry on the phone and he was at work... just over "oh ok" Even if he DID mean it like that, I was the one in need of a readjustment.

[@coochchili217]

I'd say his disappointment is rational and it actually did come through. His desire to watch a movie with you was rejected, so it would make sense that he felt a little bummed out. But being BPD, disappointment automatically equals the worst possible outcome because it "always" LEADS to the worst possible outcome.. He had a natural human emotion that suited the situation, the pwBPD is programmed to feel excruciating guilt about any self interest, (even if it's self care) or take someones emotions as a serious threat to safety and security; which "always" leads to the worst possible outcome.. One of the hardest things to learn is that sometimes what is feared IS actually happening, but not for the reasons that are assigned to the situation and it's neither positive or negative/ good or bad.

[@kellsmum1]

Cooch Chili Excellent advice

[@michelemarie7777]

My BIGGEST pet peeve is when I call someone..text someone..or ask a question and get the "What's Up" response. To me: that triggers anger in me.. like I annoyed them. They can't be bothered.

[@suterfire]

All my friends with BPD-all of them-are bright, sharp, and creative. It’s my hope that as we heal and grow, those parts of personality will really shine through. Edit: I believe everyone is bright and creative ❤️🔥

[@DrDanielFox]

Mrs. Yeti Vasquez I think they certainly do but learning effective coping strategies for the negative aspects is very important. I wish you all the best.

[@suterfire]

@@rosshopkins2063 😊

[@kconrad5893]

@@DrDanielFox Yes, yes, we must never actually say something positive about people with BPD without emphasizing that they’re still very broken and difficult. Way to keep the stigma going. Good job doc!

[@octopus4925]

@@kconrad5893 woah, that's not what he was saying. It's like, how some bipolar artists don't want to go on meds because they lose the positives and creativity, but then you have someone like Kanye who is harassing Kim because he's unmedicated - you need to focus on fixing the parts of yourself that are destructive equally as much as you focus on preserving as celebrating the positives.

[@cinnnamomrollie222]

@@kconrad5893 ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@cthulhuhoops]

"Your brain is not your enemy." This made me cry in relief. Thank you. I was diagnosed with BPD two years ago and it's been so tough.

[@JoyT01]

What has helped you?

[@thelmaviaduct]

How was it diagnosed?

[@cthulhuhoops]

@@JoyT01 Therapy, medication, asking as many questions to my doctors as I can, and repeatedly applying the skills they teach me in day to day situations, no matter how small.

[@cthulhuhoops]

@@thelmaviaduct I went to a therapist in an outpatient clinic.

[@ralphysgurl124]

This is why I have zero friends and the ones that I did have I felt like they tried in some way to make me feel bad so I just erased them from my life, I never call or text , just pretty much ghosted them from my life. As far as reading facial expressions and tones of voice I pick up on it very quick and will immediately see that person as the worst person ever the one person I used to see as a best friend. This disorder is very hard to manage. When I think I have it under control , one little thing happens and Im thrown in a tsunami of emotions

[@raniontherocks8420]

ralphysgurl124 .....Same 😓

[@ralphysgurl124]

Its truly exhasuting, but I've learned to manage it the best way that I can at the time.

[@michelemarie7777]

SAME

[@iroamalone6953]

I can be a social media friend. We can connect

[@nik1128]

I cannot have friends, it is too much of a roller-coaster for me.

[@tucker9281]

Damn all this time I thought I could actually read minds, turns out it’s just another faucet of the crazy

[@belle3055]

Tucker haha

[@JimmyFranny]

a facet of the crazy faucet...

[@TallMichelleWithTheLongHair]

Lol you and me both.... hahaaa

[@TheoriginalRainy]

Same

[@Sarah8561]

That's exactly how I feel 😔

[@doreenplischke7645]

Yup. I think I clearly understand why. My mother was BPD, my dad was an alcoholic. I grew up in a very distorted world. My closest care givers had over reactive hostile and agitated facial expressions ALL the time. I simply do not have any memory of my mother smiling and holding an energy of contentment and general tranquil...talk about mirror neurons...😩😁👈🏻 Of course baseline is NOT something I was mirrored ever. Never felt that positive energy. Anxious, hostile, reactive, extreme. Never calm. Ever. My poor amygdala...so much cortisol and adrenaline, hyper vigilance.

[@DrDanielFox]

Try to learn this skill, calm. It is possible, even if it wasn't modeled.

[@nik1128]

That sounds 100 percent like my childhood. I honestly don't think I saw my mother smile until I was 25....when I moved out of state. She is the reason I will not have children because I couldn't imagine ruining them the way my parents destroyed my life.

[@sparrowbarnesmusic5864]

I had to stop the video just to read your message. I too had a father with alcoholism. My mother wasnt diagnosed with bpd but i believe thats what she has. All u were saying was my parents. Its caused me so many problems and im the scapegoat or black sheep of the family. With alot of hard work im almost better now. However after dad died and i suffered alot more verbal abuse i went backwards abit. But i have a councillor again and im sure one day i will get better again. Im almost over the bpd but have cptsd. And the abuse has triggered that again. I was doing so well up until awhile ago. I just want to say we can overcome this. I have before and i will again. If we r willing to work hard we can do it. Take care and wish everyone the best in there recovery

[@WorkingProgress17]

This was my household growing up to a T.

[@soul6299]

You seem so compassionate. It really shows in your videos. I aim to find a psychiatrist with your same qualities! Thank you for your insight.

[@cactusjenny12]

Are you also having difficulties finding support - I had 2 appointments cancel on me cuz they don't treat BPD.

[@amandal1716]

It is so hard to find someone who even seems to understand what is going on with BPD.

[@soul6299]

In the past I have had issues finding someone, yes :/

[@kellsmum1]

Jenn Trump They get told to not accept BPD patients if they want a smooth running practice sadly

[@psb12121]

@@kellsmum1 why?

[@winterclevenger7307]

I've learned not to react immediately. I wait and see if my perception is real and think before I react to anything. Thank you so much for all your videos. You have educated me and confirmed things for me more than any therapist ever has. I definitely do face reading and vibe reading and now I'm wondering how much my reads might actually be distorted. Thank you so much.

[@michelleferrero8206]

I agree with you 1000%! I try to watch two of Dr. Fox's video's every day. The education I get out of his video's is AMAZING...it's so much more than I have experienced in therapy; however, I just started working with a new therapist yesterday and I was able to articulate what my experiences have been with my BPD. I also have Bi-polar 1 so that has complicated things too.

[@JKV..0.0..]

With every video I watch my feeling of “I’m borderline” only increases. I’ve never felt myself described so well. 😞

[@enlightenedinterstellarbei8020]

I hear ya…..Pretty scary, huh?

[@vanessaarteaga6575]

Fr

[@claudiaalexandra2312]

same here

[@Tassholio]

I really appreciate how you speak about the things that some of us struggle with every day. These videos are a great help when therapy is unaffordable/unavailable or just when you need a little extra. Thanks a lot Dr. Fox

[@BeingLifted]

Your timing is perfect. I tried explaining this to my sister earlier today. I'm trying to convince her that if all she gets help with is listening and finding her voice, she'd have much less daily trauma. Today I tried telling her via text message, when I knew there'd be a delay. Then I walked down the hall and said that if any part of it sounded accusatory, would she please reread it because it wasn't. I've been trying to respond rather than react and regularly remind her that I love her. And sometimes it's hard to maintain that. And when I can and do, it seems that more insults come my way, just not in a raging manner. They don't hurt because I know better and, frankly, I don't think she believes them, either. I get angry because the first of the three years I promised has passed and my hope that she could do some healing while in a safe space looks like a pipe dream. She's a beautiful, worthwhile person and I hate seeing her crushed, totally flattened to the point she can't discuss it, by STRANGERS who make dates and then cancel. Loved ones' opinions don't count and our hugs aren't welcome. I know I have some codependency issues going on but, even if I didn't, it'd still break my heart. To anyone else suffering with BPD symptoms, PLEASE listen to your loved ones' praises or neutral questions, like the good doc says. I don't think she'll watch this but I pray this video helps someone else.

[@cactusjenny12]

Oh I pray she sees it. I am 62 and lived a whole horrid work life that was not only bad for me, but for the poor human resources agents trying to figure me out. What you describe about her ignoring any good vibes or words from you, I have idea. Just quietly write down things she does RIGHT, and show her what you saw. My best days are when hubby says, Hey, you did ________! He noticed a behavior he liked. He "caught me being good" and oh it feels so much better that way than just meaningless pap to try and get me happy. That just makes me mad. Do you understand? Not sure I am clear...

[@shalacarter6658]

@@cactusjenny12 That was something they always told us about raising kids. Catch them being good. Don't make a huge deal of it, though. If they are quietly reading a book, just walk past and tap them on the back.

[@cactusjenny12]

@@shalacarter6658 cool....yeah, I get!

[@ariekanibalie]

Your series of videos on BPD has truly helped me understand what might be going on with some of my life-long dysfunctional friends. The volatile mood swings, the either all-good or all-scum attitude towards others, including myself, the favourite person/clinginess/extreme abandonment anxiety, and now the claims of psychic powers, despite obviously not understanding how other people think. It all checks out. Still would like to hear a way to modestly suggest they seek professional help without getting drawn into the usual rage fest/wholesale rejection of modern society, psychology, etc.

[@colubridlady]

I've noticed I have a tendency to do this so I've switched to asking the person if there's something wrong or asking them what's on their mind. This is better than jumping to negative conclusions, but sometimes people get annoyed by my constant asking. Is even asking if there's something wrong the wrong way to fix this issue? Or is my loved one being too sensitive by me asking? I don't know anymore.

[@DrDanielFox]

colubridlady sometimes this can be an issue with trusting yourself.

[@ReformedWhiteKnight]

colubridlady - The default position for us if we show a neutral expression is that we are fine! ;-) The reason that you get these kinds of reactions is that the normal person starts thinking there must be something wrong with their facial expression. Try to be honest and tell the person that you find it difficult to read a neutral face accurately. Explain that it’s important for you to be able to ask and they should be able to deal with it better. ;-)

[@Stbsfa]

I do this a lot as well, but I've been driven in the darkest hole since my partner of almost 3 years will never ever, say anything but no I'm okay, or nothing. He's never thinking anything, and there's nothing wrong always ect. He never talks to me about anything. I know a lot of men don't but it's beyond that, and now that I'm realizing I've been dealing/suffering at many times, with this disorder, it's caused me to become quite emotional, down, anxious, confused, lost, ect. I'm so thankful though, that for the first time in my about to be 30 years of life, I finally feel like I'm not alone in this. Being diagnosed with depression at a young age and other things to the such, no medicine actually ever ended up truly helping me. My anxiety, depression, thought that brain has constantly, and the things those with BPD go though, were always there. And now I understand why. I internalize everything, and I don't react outwards towards others, or at anyone, I do it inward, and all I've got to say is while I'm so damn grateful that I've finally found out what I've been going through my whole life, and feel like I'm not fully alone and just crazy, I'm also so damn saddened that there's others that have to go through the same mental acrobatics/hell that is out mind sometimes. Mine has only gotten worse as of lately too, and I'm praying to God I can get insurance or something soon to help because I know I need it. I've got three beautiful babies deserve the best of their mommy, and although it's really hard for me to love myself or treat myself as I should sometimes, I know I deserve the best too. God bless everyone. I send so much love and positive vibes to everyone! I just recently figured out I had this a week ago and have been watching none stop videos since, so if anyone wants/can talk, or has advice, or any resources they'd recommend, I would be so internally grateful. Hugs.

[@carolinaalamo6323]

@@Stbsfa Hi. Creo que es importante que recurras a terapia para aprender herramientas para manejar las crisis. Y para mejorar. Porque sí se puede. Intenta buscar apoyo de gente tranquila y que sepa lo que te pasa. No sé si el Dr. Fox atiende de manera virtual. Algunos terapeutas sí. Cómo Victoria Pérez Ríos que es una psicóloga que hace videos en KZbin, tiene su propio canal, tiene que ser terapeuta especializado en TLP.

[@mirandaboam2319]

I see this in myself very strongly as someone with BPd. I lean towards viewing everything as negative. I also am an overly empathetic person and find if I'm around someone who is angry or sad I very quickly absorb their emotions and carry that with me all day as if I'm the one going through it. I've found it helps me to be able to connect with people when they are going through hard times but it makes me overly emotional about things that are not a part of my own life.

[@JulieMaeThies]

I sure could have used these videos 20 years ago. I sure thought I could read minds, I could "tell" when people were only pretending to like me. Made life miserable because I didn't trust anyone. These are helpful now, but I am thankfully not in the kind of chaos I was in 20 years ago.

[@Stbsfa]

Same oh my goodness. I'm about to be 30 and for the first time in my life (a week ago) I found a video on BPD and realized what I've been suffering/dealing with for years and had been misdiagnosed since I was 16 and up. I finally found things that makes sense as to why I am the way, and seeing and hearing other people going through the same things, it's like for the first time in my life I actually feel like I'm heard. I'm not alone. It's the craziest feeling. I truly never thought that would be possible. I think it would be great to have others whom have this to talk to now as well. It's def. made my life so stinking miserable too, but I'm blessed to know now, and to have these videos too! Praying I can insurance and into a dr soon too. Praying for you, and hope you're doing well! Hugs!

[@rjrnj1]

How I try to do this is by saying, before I answer, "So what I hear you saying is..." This gets me extra time to process/stop mindreading AND to make sure I heard him/ her correctly. All this is new to me. At 62 I just learned I have suffered with BPD my entire life and it was misdiagnosed as "merely" depression. But when you said that medicine may abate some symptoms but not the feeling of emptiness, et. al. associated with BPD, and yet when you treat BPD, surprisingly depression can lighten, i was a subscriber. Thank you.

[@its-krisann5094]

I’m very convinced I had this disorder late teens all the way until my mid thirties due to trauma from childhood. I’ve since overcome it by spending a lot of years alone getting to know myself and dealing with my many issues head on. I’m 43 now and no longer fear being abandoned. That’s because I faced my fear of it and survived being alone and realized there’s many things in life (like being in a bad relationship)worse than being alone and I love myself so if someone else doesn’t want to love me that’s okay . I agree with Dr.Rami that BDP is not a good description of this disorder for lack of a better word. It certainly shouldn’t be stigmatized because many young people suffer from it because of messed up childhoods. Just my opinion

[@surrealbeauty4520]

Thats awesome for you! I agree , more people have BPD that aren't being diagnosed.

[@angelacavon4073]

Yay! I’m so happy for you ❤️

[@MissAttitude-m9d]

Thank you for saying this, I feel like I'm getting to that point in my life with being alone

[@felicityduijkersloot6043]

Happy to read this! 👏🏼

[@janisadams4430]

That helps me alot. Realizing it's ok to be alone. Better than being in a bad relationship where you are hurting, and miserable.

[@cactusjenny12]

Bless your brain, Dr. Fix. Lol. It was a typo but hey, if the 'i' fits, well! I shall call you Dr. Fixit. For you have changed my 62 year-old psyche. Undiagnosed, i suffered and my family (what tiny bit I still have) suffered. Now, I am healing, and subsequently, over time, I believe we will heal. This disorder is so diabolically misty, especially when high functioning in corporate America. I had over 80, seriously, very good jobs. All the big companies, I type incredibly fast and good grasp of English. But emotionally? Ouch. I quit, before I thought they MIGHT not like me anymore. My baggage is full of 40 drunken years, sobered up in 2012 and to my dismay, I got worse. Now, almost 7 years without my booze crutch, I have found you. Thank you. I understand me now. Biggest gift I ever had, Doctor. Some day, I wish to hug you.

[@amberc3728]

💜

[@coochchili217]

You completely opened my eyes about neutral facial expressions, it makes so much sense now why it used to equal negativity. Thank you for your outlook

[@self-improvement7855]

I know I've already commented but I have to say. You're videos have provided tremendous insight into my condition.

[@brookeblue1971]

I'm currently working through this with my psychologist. Sometimes people have resting B-face, and it is so easy to feel like they're thinking negative things, especially when we think negative things about ourselves. We are our own worst critics.

[@anamouchette5588]

I saw that research about neutral facial expressions being read as negative more often in BPD, it was relatively new 3 years ago, you are so up to speed! Great content, watching and learning! Edit: this is great advice. We do have good brain that CAN bypass that instinct to protect ourselves from the perceived negatives. One of my shrinks helped me a lot with very literal advice :D - be a coat hanger in the room. That means, you are not you, just observe from outside. Don't react immediately. Or, another one, be a robot, who has a built in to say: I will think about it and get back to you in a day/a couple of days. A very good advice, that helps me daily is DO LESS. When I want to overwhelm the situation, be it good or bad stimuli I'm under, just don't do it and try to have a cup of tea, watch TV or smth xD

[@NorroTaku]

not everyone that is mad or sad is this way because of you thats a huge thing to learn

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for the compliment and I’m glad to hear you found the video useful. I wish you all the best.

[@thelmaatherton4587]

Good to listen. I have been told in therapy it's like a switch when I perceive the negative in someone or a situation I just bring down the shutters (defense mechanism) and it's game over, all good or all bad (splitting). Just need to slow down on that switch.

[@ReformedWhiteKnight]

Thelma Atherton - Please read (or audio book) Rachel Reilland’s ‘Get Me Out Of Here’. It will be helpful to you. There are lengthy sections dealing with the ‘all good, all bad’ or ‘black and white’ thinking. A very profound read by the way...

[@audreydugan9668]

I have read expressions since I was a little girl, this was important, the difference is that I have always thought: 'I could be wrong' Just that phrase " I could be wrong" is a grounding thought, just sharing in case it helps. 'I could be wrong'

[@josephinesipple6956]

It’s so amazing to hear such clear explanations, that are so jumbled up inside of me, and give me a huge clue about my interpersonal relationships. My mother had me on high alert for all my childhood. It’s what has caused this trait in me. I can see it now!!! Thank you so much for helping so many of us! I live in rural poor area and psychiatric care is extremely poor. So you are invaluable to me and my BPD!

[@emeigs1572]

all my life I have known there was something wrong with me. doctors just assume ptsd plus closed head injury but I really think I have bpd. and the more I watch your videos the more it describes my issues. I truly wish there were Drs like you in my area... but they're all no caring closed minded pill pusher's. thanks for your time and knowledge.

[@tylaparfitt7596]

I was diagnosed with bpd when i was 19 just after i had my first born, and im now 27 and can i just say this video has really helped me especially to come back to. Self sabotaging is my daily routine and i like how you said our brains arent our enemy, it gives me hope. I lost my mum to murder 4 years ago so my trauma still carries on, but the more educated i am about all of this and the more knowledge i have the more confident i can feel about going out and living my daily life. Thank you ❤

[@eqilibrya]

you have such a non critical style of delivery when you speak Doc. This is helpful and soothing to me. I could digest your information without feeling hopeless, isolated, ashamed or confused. I think finding your channel may help me self modulate better in my relationships with people and with myself too 🙏🏽

[@rororidley5829]

Learning that everything isn’t about ME is the best lesson I took from this. I have to stop inserting myself.

[@purpleice7277]

Love that background. So cool!

[@soniabernatchez7466]

me 2

[@codylake7499]

I have never thought about it like that. I have always been hypervigilant and felt like I could pick up on energies in the room, could read body language, and facial expressions. This was proven to be true throughout my life. I would finish sentences, grab things for people without them asking, or knew something was "off". This has me thinking about negatively and positively reading someone. When I'm in a good place I don't perceive from a negative place. On the other foot though I can now see how often I was falsely perceiving a negative outcome. Thank you. I now have something else to think about before I act.

[@chantelh8348]

Watching this after splitting and overreacting. Even if you've recognized this behaviour in yourself before, having it explained to you by someone else in such an informative way; It's very eye-opening. Having the mirror held up to your face. Then receiving the solution to the problem to put into practice. So many tears. A lot of guilt from my BPD lens but also hope for the future. Thank you, Dr. Fox, for all that you do for the public.

[@MIOLAZARUS]

This is so true. You can imagine the dissasters me and my SO experience on a daily basis. I have bpd and he has add and has very passive facial expressions.

[@ernestgutierrez6428]

I have BPD , been diagnosed. It’s very difficult. I always knew it was more than major depression . Major depressive disorder fit, but never felt like it was the whole story. This condition is such a tormented lot to have in life. I really appreciate your videos Dr Fox. I’m in SA Texas, and wish you were closer

[@TheIYRAH]

When i first read about bpd (several years ago) i was sure i don't have it (because i don't think i am emotionally dependent on people, and i have never expressed aggression). but last year, my psychiatrist said i may have bpd. since then, i started reading a lot more. i was still sure i didn't have it and thought that the psychiatrist was exaggerating. until i found dr fox's channel. even just reading the titles of your videos made me realise i may have such-and-such, and seeing more uploads just make me really think i do have borderline personality disorder. because although the general symptoms/traits of bpd don't really resonate with me, your analysis on bpd's traits turn out to be very accurate with what i face every day. i literally opened youtube's front page and when i saw this new upload, i was like "HERE WE GO AGAIN, DR FOX BEING VERY ACCURATE ABOUT MYSELF" I have been aware that i mindread ALL THE TIME, since i was a kid. and i thought it's something that's very rare. turns out, if it's a common thing for bpd people, i feel... not alone. thank you so much dr fox.

[@OldToughDW]

My discomfort with mind reading has gone from irritation to a pet peeve. I do pretty well with body language and faces but there is always the personal experience factor which makes it an 75% to 80% correct. Intent is so much harder because emotion or a negative attitude can be defused or deflected, and it doesn't mean they have an intent. Here is how actual mind reading would work, everybody has a pattern of associations based on experience, and they have emotional connections to the events in their past life, so that a single memory like, "a man standing in an open doorway" might mean "threat" to one person, "daddy is home" to another or even "the memory of their father coming into their room to read them a bedtime story" to still another. Thoughts are symbols, words, numbers, colors, and flashes of memory, which would form unique code for each person. I am trying to understand my ex who had borderline personality disorder, and engaged in behaviors that destroyed our relationship until I had to get out for my own physical and mental health and safety.

[@Leahv103]

Thank you for these videos. I’ve had bpd and eating disorders for a long time and have been to inpatient and outpatient treatment centers, had DBT therapy etc and most of it didn’t really work very well for me but these videos are helping

[@Perhaps424]

This is so true! I notice especially in my professional environment. It controls my whole day sometimes. You’re a gem Dr. fox! Self diagnosing, I’m binging your videos. Your making an incredible impact on communities that perhaps have difficulty finding affordable help. You’re now “my person “ lol

[@jarrodwhite3864]

My wife set me this video and you are 100% correct sir. Thank you for being able to explain mind reading an how it relates to beating someone to the punch, and BPD lenses.

[@melinalozano6696]

Did anyone get lost after 3 minutes of listening and your mind went else where ? Lmao i did

[@ravinamin3980]

Literally

[@pyroghostultra3718]

4:30 here

[@maryadams3358]

Years ago when I was taking therapy this mind reading personality trait came up. BPD wasn't even mentioned in my diagnosis. It was PTSD. I still try to read people but now make room for my perceptions to be adjusted. Mind reading for me is a survival skill. Trust issues were and still are a big issue for myself. I gave of myself to quickly in relationships whether it be romantic or friendship. I am still mixed up on this matter.

[@DrDanielFox]

Trust is a big part of it. Learning to trust yourself can be the hardest thing. Be well.

[@briannawaldorf8485]

I read people too but i don’t generally assume neutral faces are negative nor that just because a person is upset it is my fault. I just act accordingly of ok this person seems off today I’m not going to fuck with them I’ll be more straight to the point or nice. But I don’t assume it is because of me unless it is a partner then it can be a little different lol

[@eleanorhartshorn8816]

Never considered it to be severe but I definitely have problems with neutral faces. Many a time it's caused arguments with family and cost me a lot of friendships and relationships. I didn't realise it was a thing until a friend pointed out that I tend to see people as happy or angry/hurtful. They were the ones to notice that I avoided going out because I'm convinced something bad was going to happen because so many people are cruel and hurtful. I felt, and still do a lot of the time, that I can tell that from their face, the way they're holding themselves, and the way they're walking. I didn't realise they were probably neutral and going about their day until it was pointed out to me, and i don't always trust that even though i can kind of rationalise it as true. It's really hard, and i still struggle with it a lot, but taking a minute to stop, breath, and write the best and worst outcomes out really helps. It's why I always carry a notebook with me. It's when I take a minute to think and make notes that I realise the worst case scenario isn't that likely to happen, and that can help prevent me from going into a rage or being verbally abusive to people, including strangers.

[@carolleslie2673]

A guy once asked me why I always put myself down, my answer was so I get it in first. Thought nothing really about it till now, thank you’ve explained a lot.

[@vagabondslotmachine]

I am undiagnosed, awaiting diagnosis, and have lived with this all my life and never knew it was a thing. All falls into place with this info. Cheers

[@kellsmum1]

I have just pushed away my 17 year old wonderful angel of a daughter due to this mind reading problem. I went crazy at her because she brought her friend over when I wasn’t feeling well I took it as she didn’t care about me by doing this when I was feeling ill. It seems ridiculous now but at the time was very real I felt unloved and went crazy and frightened her to the point she moved out!! I love her so much and HATE myself for doing this! Its not until after I have exploded that I can think enough to see I over reacted and am so sorry but by then it’s too late. I do things like this all the time and can’t stop. I’m going to end up so lonely as even my daughter is now gone! 😢😢😢

[@DrDanielFox]

Work to repair this relationship, apologize sincerely and work on slowing down, easy to say hard to do, but it is so important. Sometimes with my clients we put invisible locks on our lips and do not unlock until we've reasoned. I wish and your daughter well.

[@kellsmum1]

Dr. Daniel Fox I will try my best to do this. I was in DBT but dropped out as was so far away. This disorder is so so hard to live with. I have been listening to Ekhart tolle every night, I’m hoping this will help me to be a better person by not letting emotions control me like they are now. Thank you for reply 🤗

[@helRAEzzzer]

Thank you for this video! I didn't know that my BPD could play a role in me analyzing people's body language. I was diagnosed with BPD (technically updated my diagnosis from bipolar) at 25, but I was diagnosed with asperger's at 13 (it was in 2003, before asperger's syndrome was merged as part of the autism spectrum disorder diagnostic label). To function with people day to day, I have to analyze them to a certain extant or I won't fully understand a situation enough to even make much of a guess at the person's intent and/or response to my words and/or actions enough to respond as appropriately as possible. I wish I knew sooner, however, that BPD can cause misinterpretations in reading others; I also wish I could've been diagnosed before I was 25. BPD was looked at for me as a young-mid teen, but ultimately it was tossing out until my first impatient stay as an adult - age 25. Knowing all of this far sooner would've saved me (and the people around me tbh) a lot of hurt and confusion if I knew to try and respond for my BPD accordingly too.

[@heatherbug9142]

Omg! I do this ALL THE TIME!! WOW!! Such a great video!! Thank you!! ❤🙏🏼

[@lynnsmith2648]

Not only do I mind read I also think I hear people talking about me. Another words I may hear one word another person says and I make it into an entire story. I know I’m losing my mind but I work with a lot of mean people and it’s increasing my BPD symptoms. This video helped thanks

[@donnygat]

I have BPD and nearly every symptom is very prevalent in me. Your videos are so helpful. Thanks!

[@KevinWolfe]

This is the most accurate assessment of my inner experience that I’ve heard

[@ArcanumMysterySchool]

I feel like I can read a person's energy pretty well when I am physically with them. However, when we are conversing via Zoom or text ... I perceive these "conversations" they are having with themselves or others, and they are rarely positive. I teach online classes and sometimes I will do a public event. When people are learning, they all have different facial expressions. I always get in my own head and think, "Oh my god, they are so bored, or they hate my voice, or I am totally confusing them." I tend to gravitate towards the students who have the smiles on their faces because it reassures me. Then I watched my own face in a class I was part of and realized how angry I looked. I was just concentrating. That was eye opening for me.

[@emptinessform1677]

You totally understand so many nuances of bpd . Past partners have always told me i hang of their every word , constantly interrupting etc ... it was never mean't to be ignorant or that my word is more important than theirs of to discount their opinion . It was all precisely explained here in this video .

[@bellsandspices]

I always felt like I could feel/sense somebody's aura or energy. I felt like I could always sense if someone has bad intentions or is not being honest. However other times I've also felt like I know when someone has a calm/positive/happy energy - which I love and tend to gravitate towards. I thought I had superpowers, but I guess it's just my BPD 🤣

[@pleadianprincess9015]

Finally, a mental health professional that understands AND accurately depicts what BPD is without being condescending, or adding to the stigma. Much respect to you sir, please continue all the good work you do bringing attention and awareness to such personal and important issues.

[@bethocdunwitty6641]

I've been diagnosed with BPT and yes, I'm a PRO at reading people. I also have ESP and have had it since I was young. I developed it as a self-defense technique to avoid being at home when my mom was in a mood which would possibly result in me being abused. As I got older I was able to see entities that other people couldn't see but upon research, I would learn that what I saw was an event which happened in the past or a person who lived there once upon a particular time period in history.

[@eveofneverland2363]

The “just because there’s negative emotions taking place doesn’t mean something bad needs to go down” point is really important. Almost a separate concept from mind reading itself. I’ve gotten a lot better since I started treatment almost 2 years ago at having the discipline to not project negative dynamics into relationships where there are none. But I’m still struggling to learn how not to escalate things when there IS an actual negative dynamic going on. Having BPD is hard man. I have instant respect for everyone who does have it cause it takes years of hard work to defeat. Not years of weekly therapy sessions, years of near constant work.

[@paulallen2919]

i have severe bpd and major depression and ptsd. I can't afford therapy or medical help and your videos help me so much.

[@redpillproductionscanada5563]

This is very true, I worked as a bouncer for years, if someone was up to no good I could spot it immediately, freakishly well almost I dealt with extremely dangerous people regularly and I always knew where the situation was going(the only job I could ever keep permanently) but I always thought people with "neutral face" thought they were better then me or had some sense of disgust directed towards me or were angry, its feels so weird to only be able to spot the negative but a neutral expression would cause alot of anxiety, this is so accurate its scary.

[@Eighteen19]

Also we end up looking like stalkers. We also end up spending unnecessary energy on people which can make us feel like we over invested in them. It can make us feel sad and disappointed when the connection was not meant last or to be as valuable as much as the energy we end up spending.

[@DrDanielFox]

I completely understand where you're coming from. It's tough to invest so much energy into connections that don't pan out. Remember, it's all part of the learning process!

[@thatdu551]

Every video I’ve watched that you’ve done on BPD you have completely explained my brains way of thinking. I would really like to speak to you if you could ever find the time. I am 41 yrs old, and I think I’ve had a severe case of bpd my entire life and I’m just discovering this on my own just now.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

Oh my god. This is what I have bee experiencing with people I've known who have had BPD. They spend so much time trying to read my mind and overreacting to anything that is a perceived criticism (sometimes it's real). It's exhausting being around them and leads to near constant conflict. For a while, I really wondered why I was having conflict with these types of people so often but it's the mindreading. It's so frigging toxic.

[@DrDanielFox]

I can understand how challenging that must be. It's important to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being.

[@MissLand-os8md]

I feel you 100%.

[@thecatnipisalie4412]

I am a very empathetic person. But I also tend to internalize any negativity I feel, which is where my mind reading comes in. Or I have very rigid views of how others will see me because of my own self hatred. I hate me, so they must hate me too. I definitely need to work on being more aware of it. When my brain is in these cycles, it's so hard to stop or slow it. Good topic, thank you for posting!

[@southwestAZ]

I agree I noticed that my med doctor was retiring even when he didn't tell me because I noticed him teaching other doctors or replacements in his place

[@catalysthealer]

These videos always come at the perfect times! Thanks again for another awesome video.

[@diannejustus5936]

Wonderful video this helps me to focus on positive reactions of someone's facial expression rather than negative I have learned so much from you I have always thought that I was intuitive but I was making snap reactions against a person's facial View

[@word_salad_bingo]

Dr. Fox's voice is so soothing. When my 'quills' are up his videos are so calming.

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@word_salad_bingo]

@@DrDanielFox thank you so much, and thank you so much for everything you do for us borderlines. It takes a really special person, pun definitely intended ☺️

[@presanctuary7279]

doctor fox thank you for always reminding us that we can feel better! thank you for adding that bit of dialogue in each video, it doesn't go unappreciated.

[@pathannan8265]

This explains so much I've pushed so many people away I'm now by my self 24hra a day 7 days a week no social interaction at all

[@Omiur12]

This was very helpful. I’ve started doing this and what I find is usually what I’m feeling isn’t about me at all and if I slow down, observe and listen it all becomes clear. Thanks!!

[@kishinumaayumi]

I just found you and I've been binging you and I feel so relieved and wanna cry!! Everything about me is being answered right now and it's such a comforting thing when what I experience is being validated by a medical professional (cause I was sadly dismissed a lot by my first 2 therapists, they weren't specialists in personality disorders too so I get it, ig ya know) is sooo liberating and it helps me trust my emotions, my experiencing and helps me discern what is the car losing control and what is actually a hazard on the road.. thank youuuu :( ❤🌹

[@DrDanielFox]

So glad my material is helpful. Be well

[@kishinumaayumi]

@@DrDanielFox thank you sooo soo much ❤

[@yaelfeder9042]

Yes! I used to think I’d some empath or intuitive like power that when I’d look someone directly in their eyes, I’d feel “vibes” from them that were usually accurate. Welp, that’s not a power but scrutinizing. And I really need to work on knowing that just because my mom or close friend (I cut my social groups down to these two when I learned that I’ve BPD) is angry, that it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m the target of anger. Sometimes my mom rants before her coffee and deep in my heart I know it’s her morning grumpiness but my distortions automatically assume she’ll go off on me (which happens next to none). My mom and one or two close friends are all I got these days so I need to treasure that and by doing so, I need to stop jumping to conclusions about what they feel. Also I think this is why when confronted with people I deem as snooty or nasty, I shoot my mouth off first and ask later.

[@AliciaM5555]

Gosh I used to be just like that! I would stay upset, I was almost paranoid and I worried incessantly that others were talking about me! It didn't help that I grew up in a dangerous LA 'hood' so yeah I lived in fear! And just to have a leg up on thr ppl and situation I began studying Astrology and ppls charts. I learned to let that go.

[@Stbsfa]

Hi Dr. Fox! If you're reading this, I just wanted to comment really quickly and apologize for my long winded comment I left a day or so ago. I noticed the comment had gotten a like from the channel, but once I got the actual comment itself, it was no longer there, nor was there a reply, and upon reading what I wrote, I realized it was probably a little all over the place, and it was quite long. I can't imagine how busy you busy be with not only having a KZbin channel, but working in the field you do, so I just felt really bad for doing so, esp. because I've never been one to leave comments about my personal life, and the mental struggles I go through. (In hindsight, I know I didn't do anything wrong hehe, but I just wanted to apologize in the off chance you may see this one.) But to also thank you for posting the vides you do. They're very informative, and honestly really helpful. I had asked if you could give me advice on how someone with BPD, (specifically someone whom holds things in rather than lashes out on others due to the fact that's what I relate to), can work on not reading someone you're in a relationship with, whom doesn't express themselves nor offers any type of information when it comes to their feelings literally at all. Or what someone who may also be experiencing the same thing, could do to help in this situation. Your videos have provided a look into how my brain works, and why it works in the way it does so much, and I truly can't thank you enough. I need to get an official diagnoses by a professional, but being diagnosed with depression, anxiety, sleep disturbance, ect. since a very young age, I found that no matter what medicine I was on, or what course of action any of the professionals that I was working with at the time, never truly helped, and I still suffered from the BPD symptoms. Now, as a 30 year old woman, I'm just learning of BPD, and for the first time in my life I actually feel understood and heard. It's one of the craziest experiences struggling through what I have my whole life (unfortunately it's getting a lot harder right now too), and finally seeing that there's an actual medical diagnosis to explain that, and that I'm not alone, and just going crazy. :) Anyways, here I go again doing the same thing. Hehe. If Dr. Fox, or someone else may be reading this and has the time, I would love some advice on how they may handle being with a partner whom isn't willing to try and express themselves, or open up to you at all. While I internalize everything, and have a very hard time on expressing myself, I still try, and I also read people and situations often. But, I'm understanding from this video that that may not always be a good thing, and could possibly make things worse. I'm now just lost more, as I'm not given any context clues or any factual information from my partner, so I'm stuck *trying* to read him, which is often quite hard as well, as he has a pretty neutral face at most times too. What a mess. 🙈😞 Thanks again for sharing all the very valuable information you do with the world Dr. Fox, and thank you in advance if you happen to reply, or anyone else. It would mean so stinking much to me. Positive vibes and love being sent to anyone and everyone who may be reading this! 🤟♥💋✌😊 ( Sorry if this is hard to understand.)

[@yazajag]

Hi Dr. Fox, thank you for posting. This is an excellent video. I am going to share this, very helpful. Also, I like your world map. 😄

[@nicburke2031]

Thanks for this, it explains something that I do a lot, but that I've never really understood. It's so damaging too; I've changed career 13 times in 10 years because I think I saw something that I didn't and couldn't explain to anyone how or why I felt that way, and so I left

[@veronikastupar8498]

I thought I had superpowers then my therapist took them away 😂

[@amithka4299]

I think that is actually a super power

[@bellsandspices]

Lol I actually wrote this comment on here and then I read this! 🤣

[@Cybele1986]

That’s what happened when my mom started DBT. She used to tell us she was psychic and highly empathetic - she wasn’t. She was simply hyper-reactive in the way many Borderlines are. And we could never call her out, because she would scream at us.

[@bigyeticane]

Thanks a bunch, Dr. Fox. Your vids continue to be appreciated and helpful!

[@ddtrahan]

Already knew I filled my bucket of negative thought prematurely. It protects me in the end. If your the empathetic truth teller, than yes it protects me.

[@ProctorsGamble]

Thanks doc. You have just explained my wife’s quick temper toward me and our children for the past 35 years. Now to see if l can convince her to realize the harm it’s done to ALL of us and stop trying to mind read our emotions and body language.

[@MB-wk3he]

Dr. Fox, thank you for your kindness. You provide accurate and complete information; however, you also coat it with kindness and hope. Although reading minds is sooo part of myself by now I will try to follow your advise. Thank you, again.

[@shortversioncoversongs3900]

I have bpd..and this explains alot of thing's..i knew somethn was wrong.couple of years back ,I recognised the blank face I had..I use to be scard of aproch adults as I felt they might jurdge me wrong..and now this video prooved that I was right about my thoughts

[@raniontherocks8420]

So... I didn’t know this type of behavior was related to BPD until i watched your video. This is the one thing I do that infuriates my boyfriend. Now I understand why I do it (and do it a lot- all day long.) Thank you for posting your helpful videos, Dr. Fox. You pretty much saved my life earlier ( I found you during crisis), and now you’ve helped me again.

[@Harleythegrey]

just sharing my perspective as someone with bpd. Please don’t take it the wrong way. “Not everyone who is sad, afraid, disgusted, or angry is out to harm you.” Although harming you may not be their intention, there is a higher probability of it happening when he or she is feeling those emotions. I can’t just turn this mind reading sensory perception off. It’s there for a reason: to keep us safe. I also am pretty sure I can recognize a neutral face too. 🤷🏼‍♂️ people give off a vibe, and it’s more than just facial expressions and body language. I can feel their energy. Great video though! Very interesting to think about. Thanks 🙏

[@zsuzsannamolnar1329]

Reading minds almost equal with paranoids thoughts...in our minds it’s already set to be bad...I guess I’m severe..I have credit score as 771, I can hold a job very well as shift manager( they all know I have mental disorders)...but I cannot even start a relationship...distrusting people are baaaad...nothing good for me at least with BPD...

[@tonysmith3858]

771 credit score What?! I have a 798...lol. I job hop & can't start a relationship either...too moody. I love you stranger....I hate you stranger....haha. Just playing, i feel ya! I believe i am a mix of bi polar & personality disorder...ugh! THE STRUGGLE IS REAL! 😁

[@megf5278]

Thank you so much for making these videos. I can’t express how much they help

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.

[@Jewels_8404]

It’s great to see your channel grow. The knowledge and insight you have on personality disorders is incredible, my hat is off to you! I’ve learned so much about myself from watching your videos. My hope is that more people in the mental health field can gain a better understanding of borderline personality disorder. Sadly there is a very long way to go for most to get their. I live in Buffalo NY and they are not progressive enough and the mental health help for people like me is lacking.

[@SinRaeyan]

I have been doing extremely well in coping with my BPD but this has been one of the hardest things to work on for coping. I still look at someone and jump to the thought that someone hates me or that I should just run before they leave me. It takes all my willpower to question my own thoughts.

[@ellendematos1363]

Thank you for such great information! So much to learn and understand....and then CHANGE! But I know I can do this! (My brain is not my enemy!)

[@DrDanielFox]

It can be your ally, in so many ways. Be strong and thanks for the comment.

[@debboo69]

Who would dislike this post???

[@DrDanielFox]

I agree :)

[@AshlyS.]

Wow 😥thank you for that!! ( you have a good brain that can reason, you may not think you do. But you do.) can not express my gratitude, for the way you worded that comment 💕

[@ljb6596]

I can relate to this video a lot! I have been doing this for years and constantly think that I am right. I always end up losing a friend or a relationship by doing this. It's cool to hear someone talks about it and realize that it's probably not the right way to go.

[@alohi79]

Thank you for making this channel. The first time I saw a BPD video it made me break down like an arsehole because I always thought I was alone. Your's are the best.

[@Shortkonner]

Dr. Fox, this video describes me perfectly, (I'm diagnosed) and I feel like this is a topic you know allot about and could have spoke longer. I would love a party 2. It's like I feel like I can't trust my own thoughts, they can be something else completely and I don't want to live in a fantasy. I've asked those around me to help me realize when I have symptoms. I have a big super awesome support system. I am 33 but I and my worth 3 year old live with my parents and I have a close boyfriend and best friend. Me and the best friend actually do emotional check-ins twice a day. Very insightful and it's hard to identify sometimes. But sir, I will allow myself to be slowed down (medicated heavily) and try to read the situation again. Thank you for everything. Love you! Shortkonner

[@thomasjordan5578]

I’m close with a BPD sufferer and I can validate that this happens. The “beat to the punch” dynamic is on the money. Now, what to do, invalidating the mind reading might not go so well.

[@helenachase5627]

Excellent new content Dr. Fox. Deeper insight into the machinery of bpd that keeps us isolated and feeling empty. I'm ready to use your advice in this area and slow down and listen better