Maintain Your Sanity at Work * Mastering Narcissistic Bosses

Cope with your BPD symptoms using my BPD Card Deck: The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
shorturl.at/bxB05
Narcissistic bosses can be difficult to deal with, but with knowledge and caution you, and your organization, can avoid getting trapped and harmed by them. In this video, I'll teach you about the signs and symptoms of a narcissistic boss, and the traps and tricks they use to control and harm employees and organizations. Finally, I'll discuss the treatment and prevention of organizational poison. This video is essential watching if you want to protect yourself from a difficult or toxic work environment!
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
rb.gy/hdyqyy
Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: tinyurl.com/2anv8dww
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
KZbin: / @drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Dr. Fox’s Blog: www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Videos edited by Emil Christopher: [e-mail]
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
00:00 Introduction
01:00 Characteristics of narcissistic boss
04:34 Why so many narcissistic managers?
05:33 Identifying narcissistic boss behavior
05:58 Narcissists impact on organizations
07:22 How narcissists cause organizational damage
09:08 Narcissistic bullying
09:57 Narcissistic abuse at work
10:38 Narcissistic view of others
11:35 Unrealistic narcissistic expectations
14:07 Narcissistic bosses’ effect on organization
15:09 Narcissistic harmful effects on employees
15:48 Cost of burnout on organizations
16:36 What can you do about a narcissistic boss
18:12 Programs that foster employee growth
19:39 Organizational goals for success
20:34 Assess degree of burnout

[@Mada_94_]

As a person with BPD I've always changed jobs because of narcisistic bosses and micromanagement. It sucks but we should never settle for a workplace that doesn't respect, value and praise us. Whenever it gets toxic, I'm out.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thanks for sharing. I think many people do the same thing.

[@ranc1977]

I believe we need as society to make acts and laws against narcissists and psychopaths. We do not allow pedophiles to work with children or criminally insane prisoners. In the same manner, evil people really need to be in institutions or ought to be banned to work with people. Narcissism and psychopathy can be detected with brain scan with today's technology. So they cannot lie on psychological tests or by wearing a mask when presenting to authorities. In the same way, politicians need to go through the same screening. . Quotes: I started studying political science, and I was studying rigged elections and political violence. I did field research around the world where I met former heads of state in authoritarian regimes, accused of war crimes. When I came back to talk about this to people, some of them recognized these sort of personality traits in their bosses Is it possible that these traits are universal in power seek 🟥 The world’s biggest problem? Powerful psychopaths. | Brian Klaas Big Think You're basically hoping that somebody who's community service-minded will put themselves forward for that job - put garbage out, trimmed trees to your right specifications. Instead what very often happens is that people who actually like the idea of policing their neighbors, patrolling them, controlling them, those people are the ones who seek the power in those communities the most. Because for them,the power is the goal, not the means. Want power for himself 🟥 Big Think The story is how the systems of power can dictate who ends up in them. You just roll the red carpet to people who are power-hungry. There are sometimes broken systems that don't do a very effective job at screening out and blocking the Martin McFifes (abusers) of the world from ending up as your boss or as a politician or even sports coach. When those systems break down, when we roll carpet to wrong people, that's when abuse of power become more likely. 🟥 Big Think Power is something that draws in the wrong kinds of people like moths to a flame. That's why recruitment is so important. You're always going to have power-hungry people show up and try to take power. What you need to do is dilute them and block them. That's where the system design is crucial. We assume we can advertise for position and wait for right people to come. It doesn't work like that. We have to actively counteract this impulse of power-hungry people 🟥 Big Think The people who end up in power are not representative of the rest of us. They are not average, and they're not normal. Once you accept that, then you can start to counteract those problems. Self-selection bias is one of the most crucial things to understand if you want to crack the case of how to make power function better. Survivorship bias - we see only people who make it into power. We look at the wrong kinds of data, because we look only at what survived. 🟥 Big Think We need to accept that some of these biases are lurking inside our heads. We can't control them. They're the product of 10,000 of years of evolution. They're maladaptive now. They're not good for us. But only by accepting and recognizing them can we start to counteract them. Data shows these biases exist when we select leaders. 🟥 The world’s biggest problem? Powerful psychopaths. | Brian Klaas Big Think Fundamental point: appearances unfortunately do matter, and this means that our evaluation of leaders needs to be scrutinized heavily because we have stupid voices in our heads that are telling us information that we should not process as though it actually matters, and yet we do process as though it actually matter, based on face, height, race, gender. 🟥 The world’s biggest problem? Powerful psychopaths. | Brian Klaas Big Think That superficial charm blinds us to psychopaths. Ted Bundy seemed so charming, he seemed so nice. He was able to lure his victims into his car precisely because he was superficially charming. People lie and especially psychopaths who are trying to blend in as ordinary people, so they can get away with it. Psychopaths is not just somebody who is mean or immoral or a bad person. It's much deeper. 🟥 The world’s biggest problem? Powerful psychopaths. | Brian Klaas Big Think The dark triad and psychopathy in particular, are a neurological disorder. Your brain does not function normally. MRI scanner showed psychopaths were able to switch on empathy by choice. For the rest of us we have to make a conscious decision to down-regulate our empathy. I have to harm somebody - fire them/break up with them, and consciously try to make myself feel less bad for them. 🟥 The world’s biggest problem? Powerful psychopaths. | Brian Klaas Big Think Psychopaths are actually really good at mimicking a normal brain if and when they need to. This is origin of superficial charm. For small and short interactions psychopaths are very good not just at passing, but at actually making us like them more than many other people.This is why job interview is a terrible way of sorting out people it's short performance. Psychos good at making people like em 🟥 The world’s biggest problem? Powerful psychopaths. | Brian Klaas Big Think Rotten systems turn people worse much faster than good systems. Environment that you're in, if you're in a corrupt police department, corrupt bureaucracy, everybody around you is skirting the rules. A lot of the people around you are breaking the rules, abusing them and inflicting harm. But it's normal. It's what's done. The effect is amplified in a bad system. You have to make worse choices. 🟥 The world’s biggest problem? Powerful psychopaths. | Brian Klaas A lot of people were behaving badly underneath the surface. We just couldn't see it. There was no scrutiny. And indeed, when you see lots of abusive power scandals, this is exactly what's happening. Bernie Madoff was bad from the start. Investments fund was always crooked Ponzi scheme. But only when he started making so much money did people start looking into this. So it was question: was he under microscope 🟥 The world’s biggest problem? Powerful psychopaths. | B, Klaas

[@cathyduggar6545]

I cant deal with the stuff either. I actually freak out when having to deal with a narcissist, after being abused by a malignant narcissist who i think had both pschopathy and sociopathy. His psychologist when he was incarcerated labeled him as "detrimental to others" When you find someone so evil you think they cant possibly be human, that's the kind of monster im talking about, and i get so scared when others display any of the same qualities or behaviors. Im a borderline too. Its like i only attract Ns, but when youre raised by one you see it as normal. I want to find ppl who treat me as I treat others. Thats my rule of thumb of letting ppl into my life now. Its very lonely lol, but its safe, and i NEED that.

[@DontbeanNPC]

As bad as narcissists are, it's truly terrifying how many BPD women I see too and in my opinion and from my experiences with them (I'm in a relationship with a diagnosed BPD woman who is ruining my life) BPD people are just as toxic as narcissists if not worse especially if they aren't in treatment which most aren't. That being said, I feel for you and anyone else who is in a workplace situation with a narcissist. I believe I have a narcissistic boss right now too.

[@anubisai]

BPD is one of the "mental illnesses" that can be 100% cured. This is a fact. It takes being brutally honest with ones self, the ability to i trospext and the ability to catch yourself when it begins to happen. Then the ability to have accountability if and when it engages. You can with 100% overcome BPD with hard work. It's life changing. Start by learning how to deal with poorly behaved people instead of running away from them. This is key.

[@ladonnaramirez4467]

These kind of people are sickening. I dont let anyone or anything affect my money but life is to short to deal with these disgusting people.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's important to focus on your goals and not let negative people bring you down.

[@SaltLifeGeo]

The hardest part of all this is I don’t get credit for my hard work. No praises, feedback, recognition, absolutely nothing. They take the credit and raises for your hard work. I feel drained and burned out. I don’t know 🤷‍♂️ what to do at this point. It is affecting me and everyone else around me. Thank you for explaining everything. You just explained my boss 100%. Word by word is crazy. Should I move on from him and find something else? Is not going to change is getting worse everyday. I feel belittled and nonexistent in the workplace. The way he talks about others makes me feel like he talks about me the same way.

[@DzemilaKourdbakir]

Same here. I decided to say everything I want as all is just blaming me.

[@andyg9872]

I’ve just left a boss like this. They ruin every aspect of your life. Thy are sub human. In my opinion it’s not worth staying as they never change and it gets worse. I am older and thought it would be hard to find another job but it was actually fairly easy as people value experience and dependability.

[@smoothiecutie2277]

Exactly. “They” like to say “That’s not a good idea.” Next thing you know “they” are presenting YOUR idea as their own. 👎👎😠

[@dylandog1289]

I was in a work group that had a seriously insecure boss that would hardly give positive feedback, and when he did he would quickly blurt it out or downplay the accomplishment so they could get on with the meeting. Employee reviews were non exsistent, and to my recolection, he never helped ANYONE move up in the company, in fact he actively would kick ladders and withold information making it harder for other people to get promoted. I had to show my bosses bosses boss my work so i could get recognition because accomplishments were being snuffed out so often. Absolute hellish conditions to thrive in. The meetings were silent, nobody would ask any questions because they knew they would be belittled, we just got our work done snd went home, which sadly was looked at as a positive from my bosses boss because he was also a narcissist. My advice since i got away from that all? Seek the right people, THEN seek the right job.

[@BoldKristaNicole]

Thank you! There is another possible result from this experience, termination! This video is extremely accurate! I had just started a new job (6 weeks in). I was viewed as a threat due to my intelligence and professionalism (not displayed by the person I reported to). I didn't engage in disrespectful remarks, belittling others, dressing frompy (as requested, and actually dressed nice), etc. Plus, I was polite to everyone (unlike the example provided). I also had great ideas, which only that person knew. Once this was realized, the smear campaign began (to make this next step not appear unmerited). After weeks of zero errors, this person pieced their training instructions to create less clarity and magnified any overlooked detail as if I didn't produce weeks of accuracy. In addition, I was solution driven and created tools to avoid mistakes during a rushed training (checklists for anyone to use which I was never able to present). Long story short, I was terminated due to the level of intimidation this person experienced. The good news is... it turned out to be a blessing in "disguise!" 😊

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you. I’m glad you found the video helpful.

[@user-ii3ch2zz5x]

This happened to me too after 5 months - this video was like a description of my manager, it was incredibly accurate.

[@kimberlyp9958]

Did you work for Drake Refrigerated Lines because you just described my situation perfectly.

[@dontbelongherefromanotherp9807]

I resigned from my job recently due to your experience with my colleagues. I felt that had I not resigned, I would have been fired. It's crazy that jealousy and animosity drive employees to the point of trying to destroy their coworkers. I felt that all teamed up against me, and I had no allies.

[@mylina3852]

They made me sick 😢 They made me feel bad and don't want go to work 😪😪😪 Thank you for This amazing channel ❤ ❤❤🙏🏼

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough time, but I'm glad that my channel could provide some relief for you!

[@puabi666]

Same here, but ignore them, dont value them, they are lowly anyway

[@Lucylucy5]

Thissssssss is my current status and omg it's draining 😬 I'm currently willing to walk away with no job line up I hate waking up to get ready

[@Lucylucy5]

Update I walked away and it was the best feeling ever thanks for this video

[@mimaken4848]

My exact state but can’t walk away yet to nothing

[@Lucylucy5]

@@mimaken4848 honestly I said a prayer before I quit, I had no job lined up but the best peace of mind. I kid you not two weeks off I begin to apply and I had the honor declining jobs Bc there was so many opportunities

[@skinnypopcorn22-md2dp]

@@Lucylucy5🎉🎉🎉that’s Great! I did the same thing in January 2024. High 5 ✋ to you. I wish you the best in all of your future endeavors. It’s not a one size fits all scenario. Sometimes when you tell people that you resign they interpret that as you telling them do the same thing. “You” meaning anyone.

[@Lucylucy5]

@@skinnypopcorn22-md2dp thank you I walked away and it was the best feeling ever! And let me tell you I got so many job opportunities that it was amazing to turn down opportunities 🤎bc of this video it gave me the courage

[@bluetortilla]

I’m quitting and reporting my boss to HR.

[@kimberlyp9958]

I reported my boss to HR and he retaliated. Looking for another job.

[@dontbelongherefromanotherp9807]

​@@kimberlyp9958HR only has the best interest of the organization, not employees who are bullied

[@Chris-kl2xz]

Yes be careful!!

[@tmharperjr]

The Navy is chock full of these people. Initially, I just thought it was leadership. Then, I realized it was toxic leadership. Now, I know it’s narcissism. It has taken me 22 years to figure this out.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's unfortunate that you had to experience this for 22 years, but it's great that you have finally figured it out.

[@serenajazmine1967]

I am going through this right now and it has been hell. This video described my supervisor perfectly. Thank you for the insights!

[@SeanRhoadesChristopher]

This would be a subject to write a book about. Help companies setup a water tight immune system, preventing these cancerous situations.

[@ranc1977]

A book? Try more encyclopedic editions. One book cannot cover all narcissistic madness and implications on normal and heathy and sane people forced to be inside it.

[@puabi666]

They careless n their narc bosses r protected.

[@pinoyakosajapan]

That is the problem of companies hiring with narcissistic personality.. owners of the companies don’t notice what’s happening behind the scenes..they keep hiring new employees because of this problem.. Companies must hire people who undergo mental illness test examination.. so that they know who is causing the problem in the company and must avoid problem issues for the future of their employees relationship.. Even bosses must undergo mental illness test examination.. to avoid this kind of problems.. Hard workers and kind people are most their targets!

[@LearnCompositionOnline]

Oh yeah!

[@dontbelongherefromanotherp9807]

Narc deeds remain unhidden and upper management has no clue because the focus is on the scapegoat, while the narc creates chaos in the workplace

[@drogersmt1]

i held my covert narcissistic boss accountable by resigning and giving a full grievance report to HR. I was asked if I was going to pursue a lawsuit. Let the narcissist sweat.

[@skinnypopcorn22-md2dp]

Question. Did they ask you to complete an exit interview? Edited 6.4.24 to add: Whoops! I guess the full grievance report was the exit interview.

[@kgsunshine]

Bc the term narcissism is so overly used, I rarely pay any attention to discussions about it anymore. But I am so glad that I did today. Thank you!

[@othmane-mezian]

Yes I confirm.. Any arrogant or insecure person is flagged with narcissistic

[@ranc1977]

@@othmane-mezian I do not understand. Are you both telling that we need to enable toxic people and be passive and people please them and never hold them accountable?

[@othmane-mezian]

I mean that not every toxic or arrogant person is narc@@ranc1977

[@musicaldigest2754]

That word is way better than what I call them.

[@cathyduggar6545]

People definitely overuse it. I literally thought mine was a demon, and now ppl disregard what im saying when i try to say narcissist, i have to tell them tales of torture normal ppl shouldnt hear for them to understand. I take the label narcissist very seriously though, i know every human has narcissistic traits in them. I know theres a checklist of characteristics to believe someone has anti social personality disorder, but ppl like to project their own problems on others, and sharing misinformation dilutes the truth. I had to google the things he was doing to me to find out this thing called gaslighting and narcissism, on the very few occasions i was allowed out of his sight with internet access. And i was able to read the next abuses that were going to come so it didnt hurt as bad. Still broke me practically catatonic for over 7 yrs. Theres hundreds of thousands of ppl still stuck in that broken, post narcissistic abuse victim syndrome i see in facebook groups. Domestic abuse therapy was what unbroke me, i could stop reliving the horrors and crying every. Single. Day. For hours on end. Ive gone back to tell those ppl to get DV counseling, because they r all stuck and i know how that is.

[@ajhproductions2347]

I left my last job because my boss was a hardcore narcissistic, he was abusive with the other employees, would work us so damn hard, and say things like “what are you, a child?” Just things a boss should never do. It really rubbed me the wrong way for what we got paid, which wasn’t nearly enough, and how hard we worked, which was ridiculous. I still have carpal tunnel issues because of how strenuous the work was. Looking forward to possibly some answers in this video. 🙏

[@SuzannaFerreira]

I'm so sorry for this. :(

[@ranc1977]

I do not understand how economy in the West is producing narcissists? In the poor Balkans - workers do not have choice at all. If they are in toxic job - finding another job is the same as winning jack pot lottery. Nobody can leave toxic employers and this is enabling toxic atmosphere and it is the cause and result of poor countries being poor - because managers are destructive mentally ill evil people. In the West - if some organization is toxic - it is easy to find another job due to low unemployment and it is easy to start your own business or re-locate. This way, toxic mentally ill evil people in managerial positions whither and dry up - since competent people would leave them - and without competent workers - any organizational unit or business is doomed to fail over time. This means - narcissistic toxic job employers are like Ebola virus - it terminates itself too quickly in blood and pain than its ability in being spread around over massive territory like common flu or plague. It is only in poor countries where evil can thrive - since workers are basically slaves.

[@solar_genesis]

I hope you recover, and I hope the boss causes enough damage to be held personally accountable for their damages.

[@ranc1977]

@@solar_genesis Due to pathocracy, the system is rewarding toxic people, sociopaths and narcissists and psychopaths.

[@sirenachantal471]

Excellent! I posted to my NPD Facebook groups. Be aware that employees stop going above and beyond because they are worn out from dealing with coworkers. These folks bring out the worst in everyone, adding to the stress of an all ready filled to the max workload.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thanks for the support.

[@LinYouToo]

Oh wow, all so true. I once had a boss who told me to go do something, and when I did the VP in charge got so mad and asked me and my boss why I did that. I was left stunned when my boss said nothing. And then, while walking by his office later that day I heard him on the phone with our HR representative. I stopped outside the open door and heard her ask him, why would she do that? At the same time he turned in his chair and saw me standing there. His face went white. He had to tell her it was his idea and then he told me to do it .But imagine if I wasn’t standing there he would’ve lied to save face. And I think that is all to common in corporate America.

[@ranc1977]

And people think that the other people will remember then when they go into retirement. As if they all will sit around table and talk about good workers in the company and who gave their best of lives into company. They won't. Any worker is easily replaceable - and we really need to consider corporate America as unsuccessful and detrimental model as it was USSR communism.

[@pam8056]

This video should be titled the characteristics of a narcissistic boss. And what an organization needs to do about it. There was almost nothing about how you as the employee can handle a narcissistic boss

[@veronicalagor4771]

Probably because there’s not much unless you have access to their boss or another trustworthy person with influence who can help you work around that person

[@starrjohnson1327]

I prayed that both of my narcissistic managers would be fired. Both were fired. I thank God for that!

[@whohasnine7853]

Great video. I thought I was crazy. Understanding companies love these kind of people explain a lot. And it's why I couldn't make it as a District manager. I care too much about my teams as much as I care about the company. Neither can survive without each other. But, only one understands that.

[@nathanmorgan3647]

​@@starrjohnson1327wish He would do that for me.

[@skinnypopcorn22-md2dp]

@@starrjohnson1327. Wow!!

[@tenementfunstxr]

I’m in my first “adult” job and currently struggling with this. It’s so demoralizing and so hard. Thank you for sharing

[@jolleneallen]

Thank you Dr. Fox… I’m going through this right now. It’s time for me to get out.

[@beautydefined1601]

This is definitely a user guide! I appreciate how thorough this was, and on point. These individuals create so much toxicity in the environment as well as dysfunction and chaos, making sure that you have your standards and you’re clear about your boundaries and that you’re not reacting, but rather responding for the more documentation and really trying to stay away from them as much as possible nonetheless, it’s hard for these people to really be reprimanded because a lot of these organizations are built on narcissism.

[@smythie27]

OMG you have nailed my manager to a Tee. What I was hoping to hear was what can I do about it, instead I heard what can the organisation do about.

[@normanleach5427]

The Marcheavelian business model is designed to create insecurity. The use of intimidation as to create the conditions of nervousness and then to document the neurotic impulse. So: the condescention from an arrogant 'moral high ground', or many who use a 'dead-eye', or maintain a stagnant but abusive detachment or, they'll utilize other bullying strategies such as gas lighting, or jibes followed by "just kidding" when the to undermined another as to be perceived as superior. The idea is to dismiss or by-pass any constructive input (their control issue) and to be increasingly terse and judgemental. Through gossip and by misconstruing reality by relying on their own maladapted presumptive snapshots which often betray their insecurities through such projection, they will become pushy as to manifest the vibe when you'll make mistake. Perhaps you'll lash out. If you dramatize the situation or over-emphasize 'your plight' by amplifying, then surcoming to a negative self-definition or by becoming increasingly hyper-vigillant, if not paranoid, eventually one may undermine the deeper truth as if your condition is 'sickly', rather than their behavior is unethical. When at your lowest point, this is when the boss has his or her sychophants and henchmen validate the general group agreement, that you are an interloper and an outcast regardless of all facts, a broader perspective or to admit that their personalizing, dehuminizing behavior. True grit, humility and a healthy detachment offer stability. Your control is about balance and harmony with permission to be on a learning curve of authenticity and contribution. True control is the strength to transcend all and any dramatic nonsense. Peace.

[@ranc1977]

Otto F. Kernberg suggested that narcissistic disorders of character are foundation of most mental health problems. If we understand disturbances in narcissism we would probably find a theory of everything YT Richard Grannon & Prof. Sam Vaknin about Fantasy

[@normanleach5427]

@@ranc1977 childhood trauma and mal-adaptive defensive mechanisms.

[@ranc1977]

@@normanleach5427 Escape attempt from pain creates more pain. We get addicted to it. Dr. Gabor Maté "I have to be strong" The core belief in having to be strong enough, characteristic of many people who develop chronic illness, is a defense. When the Body Says No - The Cost of Hidden Stress Book by Gabor Maté Many of us live, if not alone, then in emotionally inadequate relationships that do not recognize or honour our deepest needs. Isolation and stress affect many who may believe their lives are quite satisfactory. "When the Body Says No", Dr. Gabor Maté For anger to be deployed appropriately, the organism has to distinguish between threat and non-threat. If I don’t know where my own boundaries begin and end, I cannot know when something potentially dangerous is intruding on them. "When the Body Says No", Dr. Gabor Maté See that anxiety is normal response on their part to what actually happened to them. And it can be relieved and recovered if they look at its sources. YT What Causes Your Anxiety? | Dr. Gabor Mate

[@karagraham9764]

Employers miss the organizational and financial damage people do because of their emotional involvement with the narcissist

[@sssttt2211]

Narcissistic bosses will never recognise your hard work, but they are ready to put all blame on you for their nasty stuff... I was very very motivated to work very hard, but after joining Qualcomm and when I met bunch of narcissistic people, I was thinking why should I spend my life for such company? It naturally demotivated you, because PPL who were already there, seniors want you not shine, so they were spreading rumours about you behind your back, seniors were feeling proud in teasing you in front of everyone as if they are very smart in doing so...but then they expect you to have soft skills of communication, empathy and understanding. None of these qualities I ever experienced with any of their higher management but their expectations were that I should meet these skills...

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm sorry to hear about your experience. It can be tough dealing with such toxic work environments.

[@skinnypopcorn22-md2dp]

They are quick to steal your ideas and take credit for your work too.

[@ericamorrison7042]

I can’t stop listening to this video! I feel 100% better know understanding what I, dealing with. Right down to not being able to ask questions

[@user-hd5wh5xi9d]

Me too! Keep watching bc it’s so spot on.

[@akat3628]

I'm so thankful that I came across this video. This video is so helpful.

[@prisca5]

HR is with the superiors mostly

[@lucaslouzada44]

It certainly depends a lot on the type of business. Certain industries demand this constant push that could of course be provided with empathy by any capable leader, but which can easily be implemented by narcissists - particularly the most stupid specimens. Upper management notices the toxic pattern but prefers to sacrifice good employees through a boss that deals tenaciously with the bad. The real problem occurs when they’re really smart, for then it can be really tricky to identify the case without a proper inquiry - which, depending on the business, is virtually impossible…

[@ranc1977]

Power is something that draws in the wrong kinds of people like moths to a flame. That's why recruitment is so important. You're always going to have power-hungry people show up and try to take power. What you need to do is dilute them and block them. That's where the system design is crucial. We assume we can advertise for position and wait for right people to come. It doesn't work like that. We have to actively counteract this impulse of power-hungry people 🟥 Big Think

[@maylani3697]

Sometimes, its stems from upper management and the executives. There is no one left to talk to because those who have the means to not deals with the drama have left. I’m in that situation right now. As soon as I can find another job to make rent, I may just walk out and not bother giving notice. It’s not like I would ever go back to that hellhole. Don’t forget…Narcissist don’t respect their employees. You’re just an ends to their means and are expendable.

[@Sophie-Aiyer]

The longer you watch, the more brilliant this video gets. Beautifully accurate.

[@nenitacelestial5657]

Thank you so much Dr. Fox for all of your videos abt BPD and NPD. They've helped me a lot in understanding someone very dear to me who exhibits all of the DSM criteria for BPD. Therapy for these things aren't very accessible where I live, so your videos mean the world to me. I just got a copy of your workbook today. Looking forward to sharing it with my friend. ❤

[@ranc1977]

DSM is dangerous - it is misleading. For example, BPD has 4 sub-types. DSM itself is form of narcissistic abuse due to amount of false data and hence gaslighting.

[@LearnCompositionOnline]

This is about identifying, not handling them

[@angiebush7810]

GOD, THERE IS JUST NOT MUCH CHANCE OF BEING A NORMAL GOOD EMPLOYEE, DOING YOUR JOB, BEING ABLE TO JUST BE HAPPY AND STAYING AT YOUR JOB GETTING PROMOTED OR RETIRING WITHOUT HAVING TO DEAL WITH ONE OR MORE OF THESE AS$HOLES. I JUST QUIT MY JOB OF 11 YEARS BECAUSE OF MY POS BOSS. THANKS KEITH M.

[@skinnypopcorn22-md2dp]

You quit? Fantastic. Best wishes for your future endeavors.

[@RenatoMF000]

Please make a part 2 of this?? Deep dive into how it looks like in practice and expand on how employees motivation and ability to go beyond are impacted?

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for the suggestion! I'll definitely consider making a part 2 on this topic.

[@RenatoMF000]

@@DrDanielFox Happy to have a call with you, I manage a 40 people team and reported to someone like that, I have a lot of insights I could share

[@tarafox6618]

We just had to meet with HR to discuss narc abuse from my teen daughters manager from work. You know its bad when the kid has to go on stress leave for the anxiety the kid has. 😢

[@dmariebella6309]

This is my supervisor. I crossed her the other day and now she treats me worse.

[@RonSafreed]

Narcissism in the workplace when I was in my twenties hindered me getting the necessary job experience in the field of carpentry/cabinet-making!! Wasted 7-8 years of my life & my narcissistic father was not helpful at all!!

[@isabelleboulay2651]

narcissistic bosses are about only keeping employees that make them look good and condescend those who don't. They will shift blame to others and fire people when you don't accept the blame for their errors. The job I just left was in a clinic. This boss has a huge poster of her face in every treatment room, as though looking over everyone working. This ego was unbelievable.

[@RonSafreed]

Narcissists want to control everything on the job & dictate & micro-manage everything!! They are also bad teachers & have an attitude, "common-sense" should have taught you!!

[@andre1987eph]

I studied narcissism intensely from 2013-2017. Until I actually saw an aeons old demonic being - seemingly separate from the person but residing in them - looking out at me in a photograph I took of a narcissist. I then pivoted my studies to the spiritual and now have a much broader grasp of narcissists than Psychology will allow. I will say that narcissists specifically target certain individuals whom they have identified far before the target knows what's going on. Also when you have the spiritual discernment, you naturally give narcissists a wider berth than someone coming from a pure psychology standpoint. 👍

[@somayehsheikhi7839]

11:50 This is exactly what I experience with my boss. In our team, we have to put pieces together for every single task, and our narcissistic product owner blames us for not having the efficiency he expects. And it's always our fault

[@alexandrapetukat1038]

Thank you !! Very helpful !!

[@AKeila75]

It’s exactly was going on now. Excellent video!

[@DrDanielFox]

Glad it helped!

[@nadwismar1736]

I filed a complaint against my manager after she threatened me as a remote worker of «finding another one who can come» if I don’t agree to come to the office every week. Other « chicken » were scared and agreed to come. Then she gaslighted by telling me that she never said that. Unbelievable. W’ll see how it will turn out for me tomorrow with a head of HR. It was stressful but now it’s kind of entertaining.

[@DrDanielFox]

That sounds like a really tough situation. I hope everything works out for you with the HR meeting tomorrow.

[@puabi666]

Sound close to my story with jealous frog at work...

[@starrjohnson1327]

​​@@puabi666I have a jealous frog that works right beside me. Always keeping tabs on me. Upset if I get any praise for my hard work.

[@skinnypopcorn22-md2dp]

Hello. Do you have any updates.

[@cindyglass5827]

Excellent video. Thank-you ! ... Problem at my workplace is that the ''E.D.'' is the worst/top Narcissist of all ~ ... Some of the [next level down] Bosses are as well therefore they have NO interest in 'supporting' the employees under them : ( I like to call this ''double'' trouble ! : ( In addt. to this, the HR lady is truly a Sweet person but has no backbone or confidence so when an employee brings a complaint to her, you are ''literally'' on your own as she will state/share : ( but she is 'truly' sympathetic to what you've shared & feels bad for you but actually tells you she can't help you ! eeek : (

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your experience and for your kind words about the video.

[@DyingRetail]

What do you do when the narcissistic boss is the top boss?

[@cindyglass5827]

Exactly - this is my situation : ( tfs

[@DzemilaKourdbakir]

Leave

[@cindyglass5827]

@@DzemilaKourdbakir Yes, I agree, ''but'' sometimes that's ''easier'' said than done ~ ...

[@DzemilaKourdbakir]

@@cindyglass5827 i know. I myself an in the same position but it just keep on getting worse

[@cindyglass5827]

@@DzemilaKourdbakir l hear ya : ( feel for you ...

[@jayviensam2001]

As a young black women, only 23. I've experienced racism and discrimination towards the company, at Rouses. My former ex bakery manager lacks communication and i notice my hours were being cut etc making excuses as to why because of the sales and about a week a two i got fired , mind you i would close every night and saying i don't work clean at night etc saying i have a bad attitude i don't bother nobody i just do my work and go home, and the store manager had said don't be post anything on social media and said to they face "i feel like its a race thing". they was looking for an excuse to get me terminated.

[@2s1l3nt3]

I have a boss that is exactly like this, thought my company specifically was the subject for a second. Calling in for a mental or sick day makes it 10x worse the next day because it turns into a stare down and interrogation.

[@jams1533]

Wow. This guy is describing my current boss and my current experience PERFECTLY. my wife said she was a narcissist and this confirmed it. Fucking insane.

[@DrDanielFox]

I’m so glad you found the video helpful. Be well.

[@mosesmontoya3478]

How do you expose or able to break away from it

[@kwadwog8168]

Is it worth it to stay working for an organization with narcisistic bosses and colleagues? At some level, once they gather more than 1 into a level or unit or department, it goes to ground quickly. I am currently working to ensure no more get involved with me at any level, but seems the narcs love each other as they all can lie and steal with no shame and enjoy others who join them in lies and schemes. Really difficult.

[@batman6540]

I most let them know really quick that im the wrong person they wanna mess with...often they got it...and if not i have to make them get it.

[@bondjamesbond1664]

my boss just canned me saying noone liked me and didnt want to work with me😀mind you ive been over their homes,met family and done side jobs with these men😀my coworker tells me he has a god complex 😬it completely floored me

[@dontbelongherefromanotherp9807]

My boss told me how other workers felt about me, it wasn't good

[@user-bf2bm9wc6i]

Kiss up, kick down.

[@sthompson2839]

Thanks!

[@DrDanielFox]

You're so welcome and thank you for your kind support of the channel. It means a lot when people help support the cause of putting out honest and research based information. Thank you and be well.

[@mahnazsaebi8132]

You explained them very well, but you didn't say much about solution or workaround?

[@ravenstamps4924]

So validating 😔

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@PantaRhei-wz5zn]

My boss assigned me to execute a project that required technical equipment. Once the time came to order the materials, he point blank refused to sign off for the expense of ordering them: So i had 4 choices 1) Honor his refusal, and thus no project execution possible at all - for which i would be blamed eventually. 2) Pay for the materials out of my private money - but it would eat a large part of my paycheck 3) Fake his autograph - which would be discovered after the materials arrived, but would make me a fraudulent person. 4) Lie to our nice secretary that he approved the buy, so she would order the materials - but she would be blamed afterwards, and she really was a kind person that did not deserve that. ... in the end i LEFT that job much quicker than the boss expected... He was 'surprised' and acted miffed about it.

[@DrDanielFox]

I’m sorry. I’m glad you found the video helpful. Be well.

[@LynneLaRochelle]

I’m interested to understand how degrees of narcissism play into these discussions. For ex: I’ve read that 6% of people are on the narcissistic spectrum - that’s A LOT of people. Some of these people must be minimally toxic (??) or we’d be forever dealing with these behaviors. Am i getting something wrong here?

[@Krlowanigu-mg6eg]

I think it is at least 15% - 20%.

[@v4756nb1rs]

What can you do when your narc boss only does stuff that's subtle abuse? It's hard to describe some of the stuff I'm experiencing, but even though I lack words, I'm not the only one going through this with them. Right now, I'm just documenting everything and waiting for my boss to explode on me -- I know it will happen eventually. Just hope I can outlast my boss.

[@jcimsn8464]

My former manager is a lifer and great career, total kook dark narc

[@DrDanielFox]

That makes for a hard working environment

[@ranc1977]

It is interesting that most you tube videos and books talk about romantic narcissistic abuse scenarios. Almost all of them disregard workplace bullying. And there is a reason for that - there is no solution to mobbing - because toxic society is built that way to support and worship psychopaths. Another reason is that no author or speaker about workplace narcissism cannot go into Crusades and every law court sessions in order to protect all of the victims and targets of narcissistic abuse.

[@prisca5]

What do you do, if the boss doesn't want to have mails, but only verbal meetings F2F? He would not want mails afterwards.

[@DrDanielFox]

It can be challenging when your boss prefers face-to-face meetings over emails. One suggestion could be to take detailed notes during the meeting and send a summary afterwards, just to make sure everyone is on the same page.

[@prisca5]

@@DrDanielFox Thank you for your suggestion, but he does not want this, mail would not ne read, only F2F counts for him. What a psychopath

[@user-cn8br6vh9q]

My manager is delusional. I learn she switches her tone when she disagrees to create a argument. Sick

[@jalisky]

Dr . Fox i ignore this boss as much as i can. But she's always asking me questions like "What time do you want them to send you on break" or "do you want to go home early because its slow you don't have to" or im working overtime and she'll come out to me and ask "how are you doing " how do i proceed?

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@DrDanielFox]

Hard to give specific feedback on here.

[@sannajohanna5579]

But what when a narcissistic boss gets hardly anything done? She only speals loud and gives multiple explanatiobs why she dis not accomplish tgis and that, nothung else.

[@victoriac.attorneyatlaw]

She has no emotional intelligence and is stunting my growth as a lawyer. Time to go!

[@DrDanielFox]

Good insight. Hard to grow when you can breathe.

[@emmaesme6219]

Why do companies keep promoting narcs?! I witnessed bullying and feel so bad for the disabled person and what’s worse is …it’s from one woman to another. There’s no empathy from the narc. Instead it’s grandiose and blaming others abt every single mistake. Glass is always half empty. I’m still under probation and I am unsure if I can make it pass probation.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's unfortunate to witness such behavior in the workplace. Stay strong and focus on your own growth and well-being.

[@through.a.barrel.she.breathes]

The Marcheavelian business model is designed to create insecurity.

[@jalisky]

You mean the democratic business model

[@libertarianPinoy]

I really preferred your earlier videos where you talked faster 😅

[@LearnCompositionOnline]

No

[@Whocares144]

O lawd

[@greenatlantis1]

😊👍

[@Blazerelf]

1:12 funny how they always look like trump lol

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@barbaragervais6991]

This is not helpful as there is no strategies only highlight typical behaviours