DRESSING FOR THE MALE GAZE VS THE FEMALE GAZE (SOCIAL EXPERIMENT)

[@cocochinelo]

welcome to day 1! what are you asking for this christmas?? 🎄

[@leigh8729]

Sennheiser Headphones!

[@leigh8729]

A train! Like a toy train for Christmas

[@arianaanderson9289]

a car for college!!!😭 @soignearii

[@arianaanderson9289]

also some more makeup for winter ! @soignearii

[@jpforshort]

i am asking for a tripod for christmas so i can be more versatile with making videos! but i just asked myself and bought it 😭 my parents will thank me later @justinpello

[@Bxtchdntk1llmyVib3]

I will forever say this, as a woman, getting compliments from other women boosts my confidence to an unimaginable level😂and it literally makes me so happy. It’s like a warm hug.🥰

[@jadebroadnax3352]

Same!

[@unluckyomens370]

Even as a guy compliments from women usually feel more genuine and are said in a less creepy way. Admittedly I could be biased since I have a history with grooming mainly by old men but you know

[@Lnyc14]

ZACTLYYY OMG

[@TyronXVII]

Women will compliment each other until they both like the same guy then it becomes envy 😂😂😂😂

[@joyfullyjhordy]

@@TyronXVIIwhen? My compliments to women are genuine. There’s no need for women to dislike each other

[@manikahemmerixh]

"you look beautiful today, dear" is just such a sweet way to compliment someone, it made me smile and I wasn't even the one receiving the compliment

[@dyinginsidelol]

i skipped back a few times when the women complimented. too cute

[@-Ayato-Yuri-]

i love when ppl call me dear, doll, baby, my child, or things like that especially when its an older person its j so heartwarming and makes me smile

[@krazyxki]

@@-Ayato-Yuri- Forreal I go 🥺👉👈 uwu face real quick

[@z.mbiefang]

@@krazyxkioh

[@krazyxki]

@@z.mbiefang Relax

[@pipperlue]

I think women were also more likely to compliment you in the male gaze outfit because it takes a lot of guts to wear that. It’s bold and it’s obvious that you’re probably getting unwanted attention or maybe even feeling unsafe at times which can make you walk around kind iof insecure and unsure of yourself. So I feel like women know that and the compliments are like a hug of solidarity and like a “you got this!”

[@moof101]

totally thought the same!

[@cocochinelo]

omg yesss! this too!!

[@shalbec3232]

which is why it important to wear comfortable clothes. The less you show the less men will look at you but the more you show the more attention you will get 😂 That can also lead you to dangerous situation

[@iliketea162]

​@shalbec3232 false the more men are exposed to those sexualised body parts the more likely they'll be educated/ educate themselves on why a body part isnt sexual🤷🏻‍♀️

[@111cosmic]

⁠@@shalbec3232”That can also lead you to a dangerous situation” Google sexual assault museums.

[@cosmospicyyy]

one time when I was about 12, I was wearing a puffy cottagecore dress at an Ikea, and this old lady came up to me, complimented my dress and said I look beautiful. that was so uplifting for me, because I was at a stage where I was quite insecure :)) compliments can be life saving, y'know

[@Babagrillen]

Yesss! Some time ago I had a really bad day and I was really sad/upset, and I walked past this girl and she just smiled at me. That was enough to make my day! ☺ (People don't tend to be very nice to me/talk to me very frequently, so a kind stranger simply just smiling at me or *friendly* talking to me, is enough to make my day, sometimes even weeks!)

[@shroastistired6518]

omg something like this happened to me. when i was maybe 13? 14? i was in a walmart and this sweet old lady said i was beautiful and looked like a girl she knew. it made me so happy cause i was also insecure and it was just really sweet :)

[@cosmospicyyy]

@@shroastistired6518 ah, teenage insecurity, my beloved

[@fart63]

I work at a bingo hall, and I was shocked to first learn how stylish older ladies can be. I remember wearing a pair of massive chunky platform boots (almost 3 inches) I got compliments from so many of them, I was baffled. That was like the last thing I expected to get compliments on from the elderly

[@AstroLamaa]

Something like this happened to me as well, when I went to the bathroom at a friend's birthday shopping trip at the mall, and an elderly lady was doing her lipstick in the mirror saw me behind her waiting for one of my friends in a cubicle. She had the most warm, genuine grin appear on her face and said "so pretty" 😊 It still makes me feel warm to this day 😅

[@mommy-mar]

I think men who say “ugh, so we can’t compliment anyone anymore without getting called a creep” need to understand and learn from women complimenting others. You can compliment people, but we can tell when you expect to get something out of it. Nobody owes you anything.

[@shaniaraeart]

Exactly, they’ll give a compliment then continue to linger 🧍🏾unless she opens up additional conversation go AWAY

[@swatik2509]

it's like saying women who say they feel stressed should learn how men actually handle things and environment.

[@StarJester]

@swatik2509 nah behavior is a lot easier to change than the emotions your body is creating

[@beesnquackers]

true true but i think the person ur replying too might be a troll because the username looks too similar to a hate symbol so be careful!! that troll should see my dad lmao

[@swatik2509]

@@StarJester does your comment make any sense?

[@タベモノ-s3v]

I think the fact that as a woman it feels so nice to get compliments from other women as opposed to compliments for men is that it just feels safe, like they're just appreciating you without expecting anything in returm.

[@kitcat2449]

As a woman I think that depends. Some men have genuinely nice vibes and their comments feel as 'safe' and good.

[@theoryofpersonality1420]

Not in a society of queers it's not.

[@ntbored7727]

Y’all seriously act like creepy ass women dont exist

[@abceckswhyzee7169]

100%@@ntbored7727

[@spacedouptt]

@@kitcat2449obviously there’s nuance to everything

[@anaispersephone6041]

Idk why but I love getting compliments from women...that will make my entire day.

[@bigmamisvea3318]

Same, I don't think it's necessarily about the gender but just the fact that women oftentimes give more respectful compliments than men. To be honest I don't understand how guys can think shouting words like "sexy, hot,etc..." after women is flattering to us. In most cases, it disgusts us. Whereas a "Love your outfit" or a "That's pretty" is so simple and means so much more.

[@scary5455]

​@@bigmamisvea3318 that like a man preferring compliments on his car than his actual self. Your outfit is just a materialistic possession, but your body IS YOU

[@scary5455]

This is why I never compliment women; you don't appreciate it unless it's from a woman I just said women don't appreciate men's compliments, and a genius replied telling a man she don't want his compliments. That's proving my point. But it isn't actually true. My girlfriend and female friends do want my compliments, but I only befriend women who aren't feminists.

[@rose-gl4io]

​@@scary5455nobody wants your compliments anyways.....

[@scary5455]

@@rose-gl4io That's literally what I just said, numb nuts. I just said you don't appreciate men's compliments, and your comeback is telling a man you don't want his compliments. Not the sharpest tool in the shed? Thanks for corroborating my point.

[@Kim-z6i3l]

Have you ever noticed how someone like Coco just radiates confidence? It’s like she has a completely different energy. I actually finished that book 3 weeks ago. Tactics are crazy good. I like it so much. Would also really recommend it!

[@ritvishetty8346]

Which book?

[@lukag3155]

@@ritvishetty8346Just google The Art of Seductive Power Juliet Arden

[@laurenlozano1366]

I remember the time a guy approached me to say how beautiful my dress was. He didn't make it about my body, and I appreciated that so much that we engaged in an hour-long conversation and he's my friend to this day. And no, he's not gay. He's simply a respectful and tactful man.

[@darknavisoul_5110]

oh Lord yes, there once was a guy who complimented my earring, but he went away soo quickly (It was on a trainstation) I was only able to say thanks and then he was already gone ;-; wish I could have talked to HIM a bit more because he was like really respectful. Never had a respectful guy afterwards, complimenting me... Just creeps lol XD

[@laurenlozano1366]

@darknavisoul_5110 I'm glad you experienced it too. That friend of mine has also been the first and only guy to compliment me in such a way. It seems to be a once-in-a-lifetime event. Haha.

[@darknavisoul_5110]

@@laurenlozano1366 yeeess haha for real it really feels almost the same to me 🤣🥲... I was immediately reminded of the guy after reading your comment, It warmed my heart haha, so thanks for that😊☺️

[@Thighlicious]

it really is just about the person, idk, i couldnt really tell in the video the guy that was harrassing her had ill intent or not cuz yk she blured his face and he was kinda just chilling there, cuz all he said was excuse me, like idk, she has the right to ignore him but I would have asked like "Yes? Did you need something?", cuz idk if he would have been that aggressive had she not ignored him, cuz idk I thought it was maybe a bit rude to ignore him but idk what she thought in that moment and maybe it was best to ignore him. Its all just subjective anyway but Idk, we know how he reacted in that moment and he was definitely being creepy but I wonder if there was a different approuch had it ended differently.

[@jonathandavidthechosenone]

see!? we do exist (:

[@lazydoodle5172]

You can see a huge difference between women compliments and men compliments, women tends to be more respectful and not trying to invade your space, they say what they have to say and that’s it. While men yell really loudly,make noise not sentences, stare and even follow you. Trying to stop you while you probably need to get somewhere like you don’t have a life on your own the moment they step in.

[@annie.hi.]

I liked that there was that one man who complimented the hat. He was a good example of how a man CAN compliment a woman respectfully

[@lazydoodle5172]

@@annie.hi. exactly, it’s nice to see this type of behavior by respectful men.

[@lunix3259]

"make noise not sentences" sis you make it sound like theyre animals 😭

[@lunix3259]

@@annie.hi. focusing on the clothing and not the body is key

[@W3ND3Y]

@@lunix3259I mean c’mon most men not all are truly dogs 🤢

[@elle0537]

I feel like the difference between women and men giving compliments is that men expect something in return, while women just do it for the sake of it

[@tricieb.5921]

True!

[@swordartonline6719]

Depends on the situation for men and women.

[@zoe._.1850]

THIS

[@A12551]

women give compliments in awe or inspiration

[@jaybstyles_official520]

Expect what in return? 😂😂😂 Stay away from drugs

[@joek5612]

I saw a quote from a male comedian. "I think the golden rule for men should be: If you're a man, don't say anything to a woman on the street that you wouldnt want a man saying to you in prison." While this was posed as a joke in his routine, it was so true and it is good advice. Additionally, as an alternative woman, I very rarely get comments from men. It's always women. It's my hair, eyebrows (they're rainbow), or boots lol every time. And that's a-ok with me.

[@boomsink628]

omg rainbow eyebrows must be so cool!!

[@joek5612]

@@boomsink628 thank you 😊👍

[@Pieza_De_Queso]

@@joek5612I’m also alt. Men sometimes follow with their heads so much that I wonder if their necks hurt afterwards 😂 I guess what’s different is that most men that appreciate alt in my area are not the type to make gross comments. They might stare (if they think you’re not noticing) or be extra kind, but they won’t be creepy or predatory. Children stare a lot, tho, 😂and women get very smiley, which warms my heart ❤

[@joek5612]

@@Pieza_De_Queso kids usually are very nice about the staring. They ask questions and they are genuinely just curious.

[@Pieza_De_Queso]

@@joek5612 How sweet! In my experience, they have just stared in a very interested manner and smiled. Some kids have angrily stared at me too 🤣

[@cookiemoon947]

“I don’t deal with a lot of women” yea everyone can tell

[@ecclairmayo4153]

That's exactly what I thought when I heard him say that. We can definitely tell!!

[@misbahailia3345]

Ouch! 🙀😂

[@echochou3977]

YEAH AHAHHA

[@Raindropsundropgumdrop]

Deadass

[@GoWithDaFlowMo]

Keep it that way dude, we thank you..... 🤭🤣

[@lunarchaos1139]

this is so trippy oml. the fact that women complimenting one another is “you’re so pretty!!” and “cute outfit!!” vs men “complimenting” women by literally screaming at them and following them is INSANE. you’re so brave for doing this, it really made an interesting video, and im so sorry that people were harassing you. women should be able to walk down the street with no one saying anything besides kind things to them.

[@gibberishgabberish8581]

Men blame their “testosterone” levels on why they can’t keep their composure

[@Mmhashbrowns]

Well when you dress a certain way guys will treat and look at you a certain way sucks. BUT that’s reality the world isn’t sunshine and rainbows it can be reallly evil really quick

[@popsicIes]

@@Mmhashbrowns This is the most nothing burger of a comment i ever read

[@caramelcutieee2298]

⁠@@popsicIes Right? Bro was like 'Men wIlL treAT yOu a ceRtaiN way bAsEd oN hoW yOu DreSS' Like, yeah...? We know. That was the whole point of the social experiment.

[@las8883]

Useless comment ​@@Mmhashbrowns

[@thunderstorm2771]

when you said 'it's kinda difficult to dress for male gaze in winter' I remembered this one time my disgusting ex that I dated at 19 and I were hanging out outside, it was winter I was wearing like 6 layers of clothes and he literally told me he didn't want to hang out anymore because it's difficult to feel me up with all these clothes on and he can't even see my body. I swear nobody is as unhinged and sexually frustrated as the dudes we date at 19.

[@your.appointed.priestess]

So freaking true. Through my late teens and especially 19 I met dudes who were so sexually hungry for me. It sickens me now to think they were mostly above 30.

[@flamingaish]

@@your.appointed.priestess creeps going after barely legal teenage girls are never a good news. it's sad how many women have had to experience this at 17-20

[@Samosayummyyay]

That's a creep. That ain't no man.

[@merin5230]

So true🤣🤣🤣

[@maybear.mp3]

yes fr!! the guy I dated at 19 still haunts me

[@dirock_1518]

Man: I got ambition Chichi: 🏃🏾‍♂️👜💨

[@AM-yw4ck]

That’s the part that had me dead

[@-Orpheus]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@socialfreak2]

More like he doesn't know where he crosses the line

[@Sheepy16able]

What does that even mean? Is this how american people flirt (I`m German thats why I`m asking)?

[@Nerevvarine]

​@@Sheepy16able ambition could mean I have a good job and money to woo you and some dudes think that having money is enough for getting a woman's attention

[@elRaccoonsitoL]

i love that one guy that said “i like your hat”, that’s a respectful compliment, it was adorable. WOAH THANKS FOR ALL THE LIKES GUYS! mum im famous

[@chiac1251]

Yes ! 🥹

[@awakenedone7577]

Ya sure

[@mercedesharrison5550]

Omg fr! A man like 15 years ago stopped me to tell me he liked like earrings and it is literally like top 5 compliments I ever received ever! Every time I think of it to this day I cheese so hard. Partial bc I really loved those earrings and if I found them again would get them in a heartbeat. But then this timberland wearing, very masc blk guy eyes popped when he saw them and proceeded to compliment me without hitting on me 😁 made my day.

[@pendafen7405]

It's a hack few guys know--if you must comment on a woman's looks or fit (and this should be avoided), pick an innocuous non-sexualised feature, like a hat or shoes or bag or earrings/accessories. That way, the girl doesn't feel sexually pressured, threatened or objectified, just appreciated for her taste.

[@krazyxki]

@@pendafen7405 But why does it have to be a hack? Why is everything some ploy to suit their own ends instead of just sincerity? Eventually the lack of sincerity and desperation will show. Too many guys using manipulative strategies they've compiled from YT videos to try and get a girl back home w them. If it worked so successfully, there wouldn't be an epidemic of lonely men.

[@mar_in_color]

Years ago there was one day when I was walking around downtown just having a me date and this guy rode past me on a skateboard (we were both heading towards/past each other) and yelled “you look really beautiful today!” without stopping or slowing down at all, and it was by far the most wholesome safe warm fuzzy male compliment I’ve ever gotten from a stranger. Because it was clear that he was just being nice to be nice, all while continuing to go along with his day, leaving me to do the same. Men, be like that guy 🖤

[@Ann963]

❤ everyone be like that guy! 😊

[@thepinkelephant2520]

Awww that’s so wholesome! Respectful ❤

[@cupcakedemon-d8i]

That's so beautiful!

[@kant.68]

He wasn't just nice to be nice he just didn't had the guts to go further. He find you sexually attractive

[@river-sama7681]

​@@kant.68Even if he did find her sexually attractive he probably had the sense to know that doing any further would have made for an uncomfortable situation and knew he wasn't entitled to her attention 🙄 don't see how that makes him lacking in guts

[@amystuart968]

The last male interaction proves your point, his compliment was well received because he didn't push his attraction on you.

[@JennyferPepin]

It was spontaneous and sounded genuine.

[@Peayou...]

We don't know if he was attracted but yes i get it ​@@JennyferPepin

[@sarahallison3381]

You should do this experiment again, but with two dresses. One that’s more revealing and short and then a more classy elegant dress. Dresses have so much power.

[@msj.z]

These were my thoughts as well! Dresses are the best, IMO.

[@caramelgirl6962]

trueee similar to Monica Bellucci

[@aliciacarneyy]

i’ve actually done this before. in the long elegant dress i got an insane amount of prolonged stares and treated with much more respect in stores and everything, men would smile at me, hold the door open for me. when i wore a little romper (i know it wasn’t a dress, but it looked like one) that was short and showed cleavage, i had one girl with her boyfriend call me a slut to him. i had a man say “when has became socially acceptable for women to wear short dresses”. i got stares, but they were nothing like the one with the classy dress, they were more a mix of disgust or lust.

[@sarahallison3381]

@@aliciacarneyy wow that must have been hard to sit through I hate people starring at me.If his girl wasn’t there he would have asked for your number I bet lo

[@vxalzerie]

⁠@@aliciacarneyy wtf😂 the audacity some people have.. dk y people js don’t mind their own business instead of judging you

[@aeong_bread]

my sister has a crazy cool sense of fashion, super masc and punk. i hear all the time little whispers from girls saying "omg i love her outfit" or "omg her hairs so cool" and ik they're not talking about me, the one in sweats and a hoodie LOL. she looks straight up like a rockstar 24/7 and it's super eye catching, but most people are DEFINITELY too intimidated to say it to her face. and when guys give compliments, it's always like "wow your outfit is sick" and not "i have so much to offer, please give me attention my precious female" LMAO edit: i'm only not sharing her IG cause i don't wanna dox myself, sowwy y'all 😭

[@franbleur6783]

by any chance does your sister have a fashion instagram :00 I'm so curious about her fits now as someone alt JAHAH

[@isabelclare4739]

SAME we would loveeee to see her fits some time!!

[@z3onix]

@@franbleur6783 fr

[@studytoexcel1048]

​@@franbleur6783same

[@michellespeight5972]

I really wanna see your sisters outfit now lol she sounds so cool and i love that kinda style

[@crunchybones3165]

I personally tend to compliment male gaze outfits more to their face because I know they need that support because those outfits make people feel vulnerable and unsafe at times. Reminding people that they have support and protection provided from the women around them is my goal. When people wear their female gaze outfits, I feel like they already know they look good, so it’s more comfortable to privately compliment them.

[@4xcleo]

u act like women are FORCED to wear these male gaze outfits?

[@sukarin_senpai]

But why wear the outfit if it makes you feel unsafe? I don’t like wearing shorts because it makes me feel naked 🤷‍♀️

[@yourfavoritenobody9081]

@@sukarin_senpai bc its cute

[@AuriaMuria]

Because they like it? What kind of question is that ​@@sukarin_senpai

[@4xcleo]

@@sukarin_senpai i only agree with u shouldn’t wear clothes in which u don’t feel comfortable. but in summer when it’s fucking hot??? i will wear my shorts and crop shirts, idc, „unsafe“ i feel anyway because i’m a tall woman who attracts always looks no matter what i wear. but then its not that i feel socially forced to wear this stuff, i do it because i feel like it.

[@anon877]

I loveeee dressing in "male gaze" type of outfits, but I absolutely hate getting harassed by men. It's definitely a scary feeling.

[@awakenedone7577]

So why do you dress in male gaze outfits? Is it because you're trying to attract a specific male but getting attention from a whole lot? If that's the case why not just go and talk to him rather than wearing provocative things. It will attract the wrong people for the wrong reasons.

[@oogaboogass]

​@@awakenedone7577 get off the internet grandma. It's clothes and style you won't get it no one wants attention 💀 especially from creepy men.

[@anon877]

@@awakenedone7577 I don't wear it to attract men. It just makes me feel more feminine, which I like.

[@dsoul1305]

@@awakenedone7577 It's not difficult to understand that lots of women like feminine looks and lots of men like feminine women. What seems to escape you is that women have to be respected, no matter what they are wearing or why. The comment was "I absolutely hate getting harassed by men", not "I hate getting attention from men" like you seem to misread.

[@marinKem]

@@awakenedone7577 I love how you post uneducated comments and then refuse to reply to better arguments!😉 love from europe

[@LizzyBeth-kf9zu]

8:55 it’s okay to compliment a woman, not catcall one

[@lucyfurr777]

As a woman, I'd be intimidated to compliment you in the female gaze outfit. The whole vibe is just effortlessly cool, and honestly, I'd be too insecure to say something directly. I'd be thinking "oh like she wants someone like ME telling her she looks good." Lmao idk how else to say it.

[@bymmim]

Your comment is so cute to me. Girl, everybody loves compliments, i've been that cool girl for most of my life. And the few people that actually complimented me really made my day, and boosted my confidence. Heard the same thing from my employee, that dresses super cool, and i mentioned it, she said sometimes she wonders if she looks ridiculous.

[@HiNinqi]

That's really sad

[@lucyfurr777]

@HiNinqi Yeah, maybe. I'm just being honest, though.

[@szydlov]

lol relatable whenever i see a cool looking girl i cant really speak

[@Sebisajiminstan]

From someone who isn’t necessarily cool, but a quite tall and confident woman, with a whole sleeve tattoo: go for it. I actually asked my friends at some point, because it felt like i got a lot of stares even when i was just wearing jeans and a tshirt, and they confirmed it, im pretty intimidating, but because we just get stared at most of the time, it’s really, especially nice when someone actually compliments us. Also, most confident (and therefore intimidating) girls are usually quite happy in their own skin, so they’re more likely to be nice and chill. So. Go for it next time you feel like it. You’ll most likely make that girl’s day.

[@ChroniclesofAshanti]

NOTE: Remember that ignoring men doesn't work 100% of the time and to always have a weapon, phone and/or someone/someplace with people near by if a man/woman attacks. Men (mostly) don't like being ignored and will try to act if you're all alone or in a less crowded area. Be safe y'all and happy new year!

[@bogantellectual]

Also an unfortunate truth is saying you have a boyfriend is very effective. Not always, but often. Because men like the one in t he video clearly don't respect women or else they wouldn't act like this in the first place. But they see women as possessions, so they'll respect another man's 'property.' And/or be scared of your boyfriend jumping him.

[@_AmikaC_]

Cute idea but this experiment is extremely tainted. Bcuz of the visible recording all of the reactions are in regard to the camera. This is absolutely not a social experiment. Some are responding according to how they think you want them to respond for the camera. Some are intentionally responding counter to how they think you want them to respond for the camera. Some are grossed out by the cringe of the recording. As for the up and down stare, #1 it's habitual, we ALL do it, and #2 they're 'reading the room' bcuz of the camera.

[@robynbirde]

I always have found that confusing them is better. Like I'd respond but with vague confusing statements like they'd say "where do you live" and I'd be like "over by the red wall, north and five" and just keep giving vague weird answers til they give up lol.

[@JustWatchingLilPeople]

@@bogantellectual It's rarely a truth to me, it seems like some have a fetish for grabbing what's not theirs.

[@traceynelson2170]

That's so strange because whenever a guy would approach me(before l was married) ld say hi and then let him say what his gona say l already know it's a no but ld listen and then say lm sorry no lm not looking for anything really nicely and say your a nice guy lm sure you gonna met someone one day, thanks for stopping to talk to me though bye and they say bye and it's over, l duno ,l know it takes alot of courage to talk to a girl so l always try to be kind ,and treat everyone with kindness and respect, and usually when they see your not interested they will go away ,dnt panic and dnt freak out they are human lol. Never had random guys hurt me or make me feel uncomfortable however it was men that l knew and kinda trusted( outside of my choices my teacher my moms bf, boys in our neighborhood and school ect )that tried to hurt me and very nearly did if l hadn't manged to get out of the situations or someone came and they stopped and l was saved but yeah that's just my experiences......

[@Piasays]

“I got a lot to bring to the table” 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️ The run off had me ctfu!

[@cocochinelo]

😂😂😂😂

[@Candyrock15]

Lol Andrew tate dog whistle right there

[@xeverydayisbeautiful]

mad respect for blurring everyone's faces. people are way too comfortable taking pictures and filming strangers in public.

[@helo.angeli]

men: * stop, stare you, follow you around, say words clearly with sexual interest * women: * dont stop walking, compliment and go on with their day, just wanna make you know you are beautiful, cute, a queen *

[@rmathis268]

Usually, yes, but that's what makes men themselves and what make women themselves, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

[@missandry2669]

Facts

[@missandry2669]

@@rmathis268Men acting like pigs makes men men not an excuse

[@helo.angeli]

@@rmathis268 i wouldnt say this, because it wasnt all men who reacted that way, most of them just ignored, which makes me think they are a bit better already than the one who stalked her, why not be polite? why not be someone who doesnt scare the other you are *interested*? no need to be a creep

[@krazyxki]

@@rmathis268 S. harassment is what makes men themselves?

[@snailiesnail]

When girls/women compliment, that’s legit the best thing ever 😭💕💕

[@merin5230]

Yes? Ever watch mean girls? Have you forgotten being in high school, the bitchy "popular" girls? They mostly don't grow out of it.(some do, but in my experience, not many). Yeah, you look great girl, as you walk away with a bit of loo roll stuck to the back of your panties. Wow, that colour is so you! It's not. But you believe her and co tinie wearing it not understanding the funny looks you get. Those hot pants are so cool on you, you go girl. Be positive in your body! That's a backhanded compliment if ever I heard one. And they are cool, but not on you, because you don't work out and have no muscle tone plus ten pounds overweight. That's not a friend, that's your nemesis.

[@ReneceWilson-pk9ko]

I feel so comfortable 😂

[@joyfullyjhordy]

Right! It makes me so happy, I’d be thinking about it for the whole week 💕

[@thatonegirlsaki]

I really don’t care when that happens but when men do 🥰

[@joyfullyjhordy]

@thatonegirlsaki ohh, the pick me girl is back after telling another girl to hush when she shared her experience 🤓

[@neenaw7676]

ugh i love this topic! I'm so happy you presented it as an actual physical experiment this is super interesting!!

[@cocochinelo]

aww thank you so much!

[@blessingknowseverything9609]

It was I feel like this video is gonna blow up for sure . I just hope it doesn’t find its way on the wrong side of KZbin ( incel page / fresh and fit .)

[@twinkincarnate]

@@blessingknowseverything9609 I'm a gay guy who despises incels, so if they somehow make their way over here I got y'all :'))

[@jinhub2175]

I always wondered why i got more compliments from women than men. This explains it

[@AudenimLock]

I love baggy clothes too!! I do get sick of the assumption that if you have a nice figure you are supposed to “show it off” in tight fitting clothes. Let people dress how they want and move along 🤷🏻‍♀️ You looked beautiful in both 👌

[@Lnyc14]

Fr like show it off for who? Should only be ur self

[@katemiller7874]

Baggy clothes make you look fat

[@alicen2237]

This is a great video! I’m sorry you got harassed so much by men but I think it’s helpful to show people how much we get harassed when just existing! My style is very Y2K bimbo core so I’m always wearing tight clothes, short skirts, and crop tops and I get harassed but that’s how I like to dress so 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@mamorumobushi2217]

SAMEE!! It's just my style and I'm asexual & aromantic 😭

[@Gatozparty]

@@mamorumobushi2217me fr too, I found my long lost my twin right here RAHH

[@VStrauss]

Y2K Bimbo core is so great! Love that

[@andreja9425]

yeah as a trans girl who finally has found comfort in my body, I love wearing things that highlight my femininity and form, but men have become extremely uncomfortable/even dangerous to deal with. It can be a lot sometimes but I love being girly and having fun with my outfits

[@Lily14578]

⁠@@andreja9425 well you’re biologically a male so u should know how to deal with them……

[@ShesGiftedAndProspering]

There’s something about getting a genuine compliment from a women that just ✨HITS✨ and I don’t seek nobody validation but my own but getting attention and complimented from women always gives me butterflies fr 🤭🫣 like I must be doing something right 😭🥰

[@6sokreep]

but women be giving fake compliments

[@nicelypenn]

@@kenjakuswife Have you read any of the comments of your contemporaries? Literally all of them are generalizing male behaviors. lol In order to properly evaluate certain trends of human behaviors, it's necessary that one makes a generalization. Kee6ixx's observation is a fair one to acknowledge and address if you care anything about making a better society rather than a delusional one that allows women to shame men in a sexist one sided manner under the guise of some social justice like saying," Don't generalize."

[@OMGMyHypeBoyKeita]

@@nicelypennthis!

[@scary5455]

Men give insults but don't mean it. Women give compliments but don't mean it.

[@abor1males]

@@scary5455Says who ugly men

[@paulinekimeli7000]

I once did an experiment like this in my little town. On one hand, I had a beautiful outfit done by my local tailor and did my hair and got very nice shoes to complement the outfit. On the other, I dressed in second hand clothes with a yarn hat and flat shoes. Then I walked. In tailored dress, it was only men that complemented me and some literaly stopped me on the road to say "you look really good" . But from women, I only got stares. They would pass me ,but our eyes met when i turned to look back..Some ladies would gesture at their friends, pointing to look at me. But none said nothing to me. In lower outfit, nobody notices. nobody bothers. I concluded that there is power of influence in dressing. "You dress how you want to be addressed".

[@ingesaunders6978]

Yes definitely. When I was a student and couldn't afford certain types of clothes, it had an impact on how people viewed/treated me. Once I worked and was able to afford those itmes, suddenly I was not only treated better but also perceived as beautiful & stunning & I had more of a voice/asked for my opinion. Doing a social study like this is a great way to assess how people in certain classes/ income bracket are perceived and treated within society.

[@Celestials1aurora]

@@ingesaunders6978this is also sad:( We say looks and appearances arent all there is to a person but we realize how important it really is…

[@shanchan8247]

I usually dress more ladylike (I guess y'all would call it feminine/cottage core?) I don't get cat called but I do get attention from men, usually very respectful. I've had guys of different ages call me Miss or Ma'am. I guess I'm just trying to say dress how you feel and don't feel bad about it. There is more ways to dress other than 'baggy' or 'IG baddie'.

[@ronweasley496]

That’s the thing with little towns and small cities, people is JEALOUS. Everyone thinks they are above the others.

[@elizabethaber5745]

​@@shanchan8247I actually want to dress more like this, the way you are describing. Any tips you could share would be helpful!

[@NoraK-yo4wr]

Stop why am I crying at the compliments from the women I LOVE WOMEN

[@white_tulip2189]

There is a modern painting in our library of women bathing in a pool or sitting on the steps. They’re all colours and most are healthily big, and the black females have natural hair and all of them are unshaved, serene, at ease. Its so clearly done by a woman, for women, the entire femininity of it all makes me feel so at peace looking at it.

[@TwilightTintedStories]

Lol when you're obsesse you're not healthy. I'm assuming they were all extremely ugly and it's just a circle jerk of delusional women telling one another they're pretty. You're capacity for solipsism and delusion never ceases to amaze

[@peachbee3396]

That sounds so lovely. do you know the name of the artist?

[@white_tulip2189]

@@peachbee3396 no sadly, but its definitely a woman

[@Prinzyxox]

@@outlawsylExcept they are and there are statistics to prove it. Hence why people are so tired of it.

[@Kensuke22]

WHERE IS THIS LIBRARY SO I COULD ADMIRE IT FOR MYSELF

[@phoebes2036]

I think the reason why a lot of women enjoy dressing in the “male gaze” fashion is because it’s what we are conditioned to believe is the pinnacle of beauty. That’s the catch 22 in all of this- women want to feel externally beautiful but that beauty has been largely defined by how men perceive us which is in an objectified and over-sexualized manner. So we don’t aim for their unwanted sexual attention but we do like feeling beautiful because it makes us feel confident. The issue is we can’t have one without the other unless we redefine beauty standards for women.

[@garfieldroscharch]

TRUE! It's just that sometimes we can't separate what we want to wear without people thinking that we do it for male attention, when it's just because the clothes are beautiful :[

[@alicyamayes6392]

Well said

[@Mr.Chedda_]

sanest comment

[@ghosttundra]

ur so right gender roles are still directly intertwined with traditional beauty standards and it really sucks

[@nataliem32]

Exactly, that and also that sometimes women do dress for male attention too and that's also okay, but attention does not warrant harassment. I'm single and if I'm hoping to meet a guy, I'm going to do myself up more and try to make myself look attractive, it only makes sense. But it's not an excuse for men to invade space or not take no for an answer or be disrespectful. There's a huge difference in a man hitting on you or approaching you vs. just seeing you as an object or completely disrespecting you. "You look great," or if you're in a social place, "can I get your number?" is totally different than the "DAYUM GIRL YEESH GYATT" shit, like it's so obvious that behavior is immature, I really wish I knew why they don't understand it.

[@amberlightrunner4696]

I've seen such an uptick in women complimenting women. For years, I've done my best to overcome shyness to compliment people on things about themselves, and the way they light up is just amazing. It makes me so happy to see more and more of that in the wild.

[@unclewiley1986]

Yes! I also love what the Barbie movie did bc hearing 'hi barbie'on the street was so cute😊

[@Yellow4494]

I think it's important for men to compliment men as well

[@peter9703]

Maybe ITS the best that you compliment the people you want and dont make a gender Thing Out of this ​@@Yellow4494

[@rosea9568]

One outfit says you’re in a state of reclusiveness giving the vibe to respect your energy and the other says you’re open therefore making you more approachable. Both were great ❤

[@nataliesoutlet]

Such an interesting video. I applaud you for doing something so bold and introspective

[@hearts4dazaiii]

Not gonna lie, I completely forgot about you. Good to see you're still doing well

[@69mowes]

⁠@hearts4dazaiii 💀 you shouldve just left it with the last part😭

[@aishaaa-17]

Didn't expect to see you in this comment section!

[@hearts4dazaiii]

@@69mowes Lmaooo it's true though 😭😭

[@Malisfee4]

“Ma’am! Maam! I have a lot to bring to the table” He was STRESSINGG

[@yves2016]

I’m a straight woman and both outfits look amazing, I think girls compliment you more in the male gaze outfit because they assume you wouldn’t mind the compliment more so than in your female gaze outfit

[@Maya-sd4jl]

I was thinking the same thing. I'm wondering if there's almost a form of internalized misogyny and women think "she won't mind the attention" in the same way men think "she's asking for attention" if that make sense. Idk but that would be really interesting

[@velvetchiharu]

personally I wouldn’t compliment the “female gaze” outfit because she’s covered up head to toe AND wearing baggy clothes in neutral tones - she’s giving an introverted presentation. It tells me “this person isn’t ready for or interested in a random interaction.” In the bodysuit and fur hat, it’s a very extroverted outfit. I find it ironic that everyone refers to the other outfit as confident when this one is borderline drag with how campy it looks. It has a lot of drama, sass, and it’s almost theatrical with the fur hat on top. If you saw Dolly Parton all dolled up fully camped out rhinestones etc you would feel “this is a confident woman who wouldn’t be put off by me talking to her.” The other outfit was super cool, but way more introverted and the tomboyish appearance almost sends a message of “I’m tough.” I bet she would get a different reaction if it was tomboyish but also loud with patterns and colors etc. Just my take as a woman ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ for me misogyny wouldn’t factor in, and personally I don’t even like complimenting people/women because it feels patronizing.

[@Maya-sd4jl]

@@velvetchiharu I guess that where we differ. In my eyes neither outfit is any less extroverted than the other. Plus she’s physically covered in both. Aside from her arm in the fem gaze one but arms generally aren’t seen as sexual. And both have very neutral color palettes. The fact that a woman wearing baggy clothes is seen as introverted (opposed to interaction/attention) while a woman wearing an equally extreme but more form fitting outfit is considered extroverted (open to interaction) is a super similar logic to men saying a woman in a revealing outfit is “asking for attention.” This isn’t to call the women complimenting the fem gaze outfit misogynistic, but to call attention to the similarity and question where it comes from. Like even if the compliment isn’t misogynistic, the choice to give it might be informed by our misogynistic culture. Cause at the end of the day the issue isn’t receiving attention, it’s more how that attention is expressed and whether it comes with objectification. And women are much better than men in that arena And yeah I agree. Itd be interesting to see how ppl react to a colorful male gaze outfit

[@speduptrendz7371]

@@velvetchiharuyour internal misogyny is a factor lol

[@sillyhermy]

@@velvetchiharu true. I was thinking the same way. With the wondering why not getting as much attention with the female gaze outfit. I do agree the type of cloth and color plays a factor to it for many other people. I think her female gaze outfit is nice but it’s nothing special or unique about it. It blends. She blends in with everyone else. She’s not equally noticeable with her other outfit. My sis wore a similar outfit to her but was pink ,white , blue. She got so many compliments from girls but none from guys. It was because it was cute. I assume the pink on a ‘baggy male looking outfit’ made it stand out more. Also if I saw someone with the male gaze outfit that person seems approachable to me vs someone wearing everyday outfit. Only because I view those outfits as a possibility that they are doing something special or going someplace special. Someone that’s sticks out from the crowd simply seems more approachable. I believe that apply to part of why girls approach her in her male gaze outfit. Sorry if my English is weird.

[@ice_cream_neko]

i love women. when a women compliments me on the street, that's it, they've made my day and i'll be thinking about it for a long time

[@jamminwithmonty]

Yas!!

[@zxoe]

yes any compliment i get i think about it all the time and before i close my eyes for bed i just smile lol

[@10062898]

I LOVE this video, I never seen a social experiment like this! One of my favorite videos is another social experiment of a black woman having different hairstyles on dating apps to show different races of men attention.

[@celestepeterson8518]

Do you happen to know where I can watch that video. I love watching social experiments

[@hi-yo2hi]

@@celestepeterson8518right!

[@YesicaRosa]

ouuu where can i watch thesee!!

[@honeybeebumbleful]

search Maria Mwena dating hair @@YesicaRosa

[@honeybeebumbleful]

@@celestepeterson8518 search Maria Mwena dating hair its the top video

[@calsmiley4502]

I think women picked up on something even more subtle: the male gaze outfit kind of signals 'look at me, interact with me' and the female gaze outfit signals more 'im just trying to exist fam'. So the women complimenting you indirectly, they wanted you to feel complimented without needing to interact with people. Just my hc lol

[@gemhart82]

this is so insightful, thank you!

[@bo8091]

Good point.

[@queenj.8i895]

Exactly

[@teodoravlajic5698]

Yesss in the male gaze outfit she looked more approachable

[@kamilavazquez1035]

THIS. I don't think being confident had anything to do with it. I fully believe it was because the male gaze outfit SCREAMS "Look at me". Which doesn't mean anything bad, but it does feel like asking to be complimented a bit.

[@elbeeverson330]

When I compliment women directly when wearing more male gaze outfits it’s partly bc I know it can feel uncomfortable to wear what you want when it’s going to attract the male gaze, so I want to celebrate and support that persons bravery, self assurance and resilience . 💚

[@tiffanysmith4046]

You are a gem, I love people like this 💗🍒💎

[@cg2859]

the womens compliments are so respectful and wholesome like 'you look beautiful today dear' melted my heart over against the men bellowing 'DAMN' and that one bloke wittering on about himself and how he'd be such a good partner for you women compliment to lift other women up, men 'compliment' to try and make you notice them

[@erikahipsky5787]

I like how you defined the female gaze... it is not merely a reversal of the male gaze (in which case men would be the ones objectified and sexualized) but something completely different... the female gaze has elements of transparency, vulnerability, and humanity that the male gaze lacks

[@israeliana]

I would love to have her do this in NYC or France

[@anotherrandomguy8871]

Female gaze won’t be defined as shallow by women like how male gaze is defined, because it makes it seem as if both are men and women are shallow, therefore it’s defined as complex, vs the awful shallow male gaze. Male gaze is simply always seen as bad, it’s just a critical negetive view of male sexuality through the discussion of some women, while female gaze is always associated with anything positive (with again, the discussion usually being led by women). But why would a woman ever criticize ‘female gaze’ anyways since it associates things with themselves and women in general, so instead of associating negetives generalization to women like how many woman are comfortable with doing so to men when taking about “male gaze”, the female gaze becomes something completely different at the elevation of women, and demonization of men. That’s why it’s never gonna be associated with anything shallow within a negetive generalization of what women may like in men, like money, a unaturally smooth face, (natural) muscle and a tall man, or for him to dress in a suit to show how much money he has, unless it’s from a male perspective like how male gaze is bad from a female perspective. This is why commonly if I do see a man talk about “female gaze”, they talk about it negetivly, and talk about the flaws of women’s preferences, instead of associating it with only good and complexity, like how women talk about men and male gaze only negatively and as shallow, not as good and complex.

[@karencanan6199]

I think the above comment raises an interesting pt. i have experienced🎉 male gaxe that can also feel supportive and nurturing. Superficial gaze doesnt look to know you better and completely ignores certain people while hyper obsessing over other people even to the point of aggression. Unfortunately this can happen with either gender although its way more encouraged and obvious from men. I think it has to do with the higher social status of being partnered so people feel like they are owed a partner. Thank you for making this thought provoking video. I loved your smile when talking about the compliments that were genuine and not needy.

[@Ajlez]

"Guys will hit on you regardless of what you're wearing" This is so true, and I have also learned that men notice things that I didn't notice at first. I don't wear a bra for example so I normally hide the fact I'm not wearing one... Sometimes I think I'm successful and yet... some guys still know. Like I'll be dressed so basic but because they can tell that, they get thirsty.

[@brittyuhvaughn]

YES! I found this out very recently. I always always always wear a bra, but one night I was coming from a musical I was doing; we wear unitards and tights, and I wore mine TO the theater that day bc i washed them at home. I was supposed to go out after, but coincidentally I forgot to bring a regular bra. I needed to leave the costume undergarments there at the theater, & so i figured id be fine just this one time. I was wearing a big fluffy tie dye cropped Adidas sweatshirt, giant logo on the front, I felt confident that nobody would notice the one single time I wasn't wearing a bra LOL... But please believe, within 20 min of sitting at the bar, an older man came up and started a conversation with me. I was polite, so as soon as he got more comfortable he mentioned that he noticed I wasn't wearing one and I was like 😳 "how tf?" I said I needed to go to the restroom and just walked back to my friend's table

[@Prinzyxox]

@@brittyuhvaughn They’re so weird and creepy goodness.

[@ericabelcher8760]

​@@brittyuhvaughn🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🙄🙄

[@brittyuhvaughn]

@ericabelcher8760 lmao my bad but i genuinely didnt think it was noticeable at all. Ill tell u what, haven't done it since. Bra 99.99% of the time unless im showering lol

[@ericabelcher8760]

@@brittyuhvaughn Oh no need to apologize, love! My emoji faces I made were in response to that man having the AUDACITY, like most of them do! Thats all.

[@Ajlez]

"I don't deal with a lot of women" WE CAN TELL. Ahm.The amount of men who are like this. And then I in the past was one of those women who would "be nice" to them. It's the most dangerous thing we can do. Then we also blame ourselves for their harassment. Nowadays I just tell guys "Hey, don't say things that make women uncomfortable". (Sometimes I also want to throw in the "I'm probably old enough to be your mother, chill out"...)

[@Artemis_A-24]

But when we don't give compliments, we're also wrong 🥴

[@milacolman]

@@Artemis_A-24 do you know what a compliment is?

[@moonamoonz]

​@@Artemis_A-24Complimenting is one thing, harassing is another thing. Most men dont know the difference.

[@MelonHere20]

ugh truuuue I've been too nice a lot of the time. There was this one guy at work where I thought I would actually be nice and be his friend, but he was just too creepy, and then I felt guilty about giving him the cold shoulder? yeah after a while I realized I shouldn't feel guilty for brushing him off, he took me being nice as an opportunity to harass

[@themanofshadows]

@@moonamoonzI don’t think women know the difference, which gives men mixed signals.

[@mosssss9983]

the couples complimenting you is the cuteeest THATS the energy! 🥺

[@ShanteRoxxane]

“I got a lot to bring to the table…I got ambition.” Ambition don’t pay no bills! 😂😂

[@MamaMilkBubbles]

😂😂😂😂

[@odochinagorom8913]

He was auditioning 😂😂

[@hellvixen4808]

Ambition can pay your bills if you work hard enough, but it is New York, soo.👻👻👻

[@chanela.7786]

I’ve had dudes still catcall me from wearing a parka and the only thing you could see was my eyes and forehead…the thirstiness is real😭

[@coldcloakmusic6630]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Sienna.Jen2971]

That's hilarious 😂😂

[@Ruby...X]

@impoppy2971 I personally don't find it funny, it's just very sad.

[@Sienna.Jen2971]

@@Ruby...XI wasn't laughing at the entirety of the situation. It was the part about only seeing her eyes and forehead that tickled me, but I see your point.

[@DeannaMercer]

Jeans, a winter coat and a head wrap.Pregnant and had a wedding ring 💍 on and on my necklace. With a toodler in the shopping buggy . I told my husband . I was so bothered and confused. This happened years ago but it was so bizarre to me.

[@camila_ans]

Girls supporting girls >>> It’s honestly the best being complimented by another girl. Great video!

[@thatonegirlsaki]

Yeah no

[@katherinebattle3780]

​@@thatonegirlsakiexactly women suck, girls give backhanded or creepy compliments. These bums are just trying to make men look bad like they always do

[@Hysteriette]

​@@thatonegirlsaki moid hands wrote this

[@elizabethamiet]

that's so sweet that these girls are teaching their partners to compliment girls in a respectful way!! the man that told you your outfit was beautiful was so kind :)

[@rainyiguess]

More men should watch this so they can learn a bit on how to complement a woman without going too far

[@BigDauntless]

I would for sure be starring at you with the male gaze outfit not because of what you’d think, but because “I know her arm is cold as shit” 😂

[@Turmie877]

Lol yes that's what I was thinking 🤣

[@QueenMonny]

Her entire body probably. It's skin tight and doesn't look like a very thick or warm material. Cute hat though.

[@mikoletea]

women compliment from a place of admiration, inspiration and awe. men usually compliment out of wanting something.

[@lexiieisweird6192]

I feel like also a reason people compliment the male gaze outfit more openly is that *usually* people who dress like that tend to love/want attention so it feels more acceptable to give it to them with open compliments, VS as a girl you know that if someone is dressing in a more casual way, they may just be trying to blend in and actively trying to avoid the attention, so it makes sense not to feel as comfortable intruding on their day with compliments. Just one possibility! :) You did look absolutely stunning in both outfits ❤

[@TlotloL]

I've been reading through the comments to see if there is someone with some common sense. I don't completely agree with your statement, but i think you've got a great starting point if one actually wants to coexist and eventually pair bond with a man in a healthy manner. Thank you. From a man.

[@YourMajesty143]

This is exactly how I saw it, bc this is how I engage with people. If a girl is dressed baggy, I'm assuming her priority is comfort and there's no sense making someone uncomfortable by intruding in their space, even if it is to give them a nice compliment. Some people just want to be left alone and not feel like they're being noticed. The other outfit didn't just scream male gaze, it also screamed fashionable and cute. So in that instance, I'd think that a person who was dressed like she's ready for a runway, wants that attention, bc fashion is an outlet for self-expression and verbally acknowledging that is a way of telling someone that they're seen. I think a great way to test the male gaze is to remove all fashionable elements out of it. Wearing a tacky, yet revealing outfit that very few women would find tasteful enough to compliment - yet that men would objectify - would eliminate any ounce of female gaze to the outfit to ensure that it's a proper control for the comparison. As for the female gaze outfit, it should be feminine and classic yet not too alluring to fall into the "tradwife" version of the male gaze. I think the perfect test for this is a flowy maxi dress that looks super comfortable & chic, but doesn't look like you stepped out of an Audrey Hepburn movie - while this is super female gaze-y, there are men who have a weird fetish for this Old Hollywood girl-next-door look. These are men who want things to go back to the 'good old days' when men had greater control and women were compliant.

[@LainL-ks1pd]

It’s still not an excuse to harass or stare at someone, complimenting and moving on is fine but the latter is not

[@capital.B]

we trust women's compliment and feel safe receiving it because we know, there's no hidden agenda.

[@RashidasPage]

I think bc we always dress for our own gaze for the most part so when you dressed for the male gaze we’re like you stepped out it was bold i think thats why they complimented more I think sometimes we wish we could dress in the male gaze without males gazing 😂

[@RashidasPage]

I think you should do this again in the spring/summer

[@Northwaybaby]

@@inem58they mean dressing up for the selfs and not caring about male or female gaze

[@whoasked6696]

I mean, you can easily not care about the female or male gaze, but your outfit is probably going to cater to one of them.

[@scary5455]

"I wish we could dress for the male gaze without males gazing" Highest iq woman's statement

[@marysue3439]

@@scary5455 Women are sooooo dumb for just wanting to wear whatever clothes THEY want to wear without weirdos like you following them for blocks. 😢😢😢 You’re such a victim because woman don’t want you to “compliment” them by following them for blocks on end. Cope.

[@s.owl9]

Another reason why the girls were more vocal when you had the male gaze outfit is that they wanted to reassure you. You mentioned you were uncomfortable so they might’ve felt that. Theres also the possibility that they envied/liked your figure as well as your outfit, which gave them an added reason to compliment you directly and decisively.

[@93morganmarie]

Spot on with your thoughts on why the women didn't openly compliment your female gaze outfit. Usually other confident women compliment you in that case. Also, that was cool how the guy in the couple complemented you too. Love that female gaze outfit!

[@mimim8758]

That could very well be the reason, I like that theory! But it could also be that they didn’t find it striking enough to actually say something directly to her. They liked it enough to just discuss amongst themselves. What I mean is the form fitting outfit was more dressier if that makes sense. It was more eye catching. Her female gaze outfit is more common style you see out on the streets. It is the most popular street style at the moment, so while it looks amazing on her and she’s a beauty, it might not warrant the direct compliments.

[@niamh4761]

@@mimim8758 yes! i think when you wear a more dressy or bold outfit it’s possible women assume you are confident and/or comfortable with compliments. While in a more casual outfit they might assume you’d prefer to be left alone as you’re doing less to stand out. Obviously there’s no right or wrong way of dressing, and both outfits looked great but I think this could be part of why the outfits got different comments from women.

[@ada6044]

It's all about the jealousy because she looked stunning in female gaze outfit. With male gaze outfit it's easier to get a compliment because they feel less competition with you.

[@nithyasreesathyanarayanan5611]

I feel much more validated when women compliment me. Like I'm not that good looking but I do wear nice clothes on special occasions and it's mostly women who compliment my dress or jewellery. And it's very genuine to me ❤

[@EvolvingWithImani]

The female gaze outfit was giving off that you are reserved and don’t want to be bothered. And if there was a compliment it was in regards to your style VS the male gaze is strictly about body type and sexualized. It’s creative energy expressed in 2 different ways. Very interesting to study. Usually people who wear over sized clothes are looking to drift by unseen , male gaze you’re trying to be seen

[@awakenedone7577]

Exactly

[@chanela.7786]

I’ve worn oversized clothes and have still been catcalled. Some men don’t give af and will still try to follow you regardless as long as you’re a woman

[@Monday-Lunch]

​@idontlikeuatall5895 Well _that_ male-gaze outfit was certainly attention-grabbing. And even moreso when most people are wearing layers to keep warm, this outfit was basically screaming “Look at me!”

[@Monday-Lunch]

@idontlikeuatall5895 OK, letʼs back up a bit. You said, “I donʼt think male gaze is trying to be seen” (a general statement). I replied, “​Well *_that_* male-gaze outfit” (referring specifically to the one in the video) “was certainly attention-grabbing.” And it certainly is. And again, in the video, most of the pedestrians are dressed for the cold, which makes that particular outfit stand out even more. I was not denying your point that simply wearing male-gaze dress is not necessarily calling attention to yourself. I was saying that the particular male-gaze outfit in this video certainly _is._

[@Monday-Lunch]

@idontlikeuatall5895 Re Not Showing Skin Thereʼs a sense in which skin-fitting clothing almost reveals everything, because it shows off the entire form - sometimes even body crevices and cellulite. At that point itʼs kinda moot that youʼre not showing actual skin. Re Not Looking For Attention Certain types of clothing tend to attract more or certain types of attention, regardless of the intent of the wearer. Re Male Attention In the video she did say that men basically ignored her in the looser outfit. And when she did get male attention, it tended to be tasteful compliments from men walking with their ladies. So thereʼs that.

[@Ellie-k3r]

11:04 i think that the reason the girls complimented you more on the first outfit may be because it was more something someone would wear if they’re going out to meet friends ect, whereas the second outfit was more casual in my opinion,therefore the girls wanted to hype you up and make you feel confident and pretty before the event:)

[@kiyasthriftycrafts]

I looooooove compliments from women because they’re so genuine. No ulterior motives, just sisterhood ❤

[@HansBezemer]

Science says quite the opposite. Females are not only more agreeable, they avoid conflict - even when small white lies are required to achieve that. However, if you read the work of Deborah Tannen, it become clear that females consider other females to be rivals.

[@Sheepy16able]

Thats so interesting to me because i see so many women wearing nice outfits and i want to compliment them but I`m always afraid to do so.

[@fabmissb]

9:07 The idea that an outfit is an open invitation remains wild.

[@masterjunko]

9:14 See guys, y'all don't have to whistle or go "DAMN LORD HAVE MERCY" when someone you think looks nice is walking. Cat calling is not complimenting! Like she said, take a page out of this guy and the women showcased in the video and just be simple. "Nice look!" [go about your day] There is a time and place man. The streets are not the pubs lmfao

[@STAGENAMESERENA]

He said “I got ambition” 😂 um yeah ambition to find a woman on the road who is way out of your league

[@rmathis268]

How would you know, she gave him 0 life and treated him like a predator without hesitancy. You and her know absolutely 0 about that guy so he could be out of her league, we don't know

[@kitcat2449]

​@@rmathis268True, we don't know, but the fact that he kept following her even though she clearly didn't want to be talked to tells something about his social skills at least. That comes off as desperate and impolite, which in turn is off putting. 🫤 When that has happened to me I've read the room and let them simply mind their own business. I don't want to bother anyone and the strangers owe me nothing.

[@STAGENAMESERENA]

@@rmathis268 you must be one of those guys. I fear you.

[@rmathis268]

@@STAGENAMESERENA What? 🤣 I've never been in an fight in my life if that tells you anything, I despise unwanted violence and aggression. Especially if the person is at an disadvantage

[@worldwideofflinealgos-sj9gg]

@@rmathis268 she’ll be single and sad her whole life bruh just let it be. The way she doesn’t even tell the man to go away, is so disrespectful. At least say sorry I’m filming. But of course she just jumps right to the conclusion that she’s being harassed. Trust me bruh, girls in this comment section aren’t the loyal wives you wanna marry.

[@sierrasurreal]

You worked the heck out of that male gaze outfit. ❤😂 To me you were exuding power and confidence. I think confidence is magnetic so maybe that why people were so compelled to interact with you in a more direct manner.

[@gemstones56]

immediately smiled when i saw the pictures and description for the female gaze. so much more peaceful and enjoyable to me

[@strudelh]

Bro the stark difference between the female gaze outfit vs the male gaze outfit, the ICK it got from the weirdo following you. 😵

[@strudelh]

It did warm my heart to see the reactions from ppl with the female gaze outfit, like wow ppl can nice and respectful !! But it’s also kinda sad at the same time.

[@shalbec3232]

​@@strudelhikr he lowkey made me want to punch him, why don't men understand the word NO?💀. Even if you don't want to talk to them they will still try to force it🙄

[@HeyyyItzzZariaB]

“I got a lot to bring to the table” 😂😂😂 lol that’s the biggest red flag ever, like what you bringing? Disappointment, failure, and a Wendy’s $5 biggie bag😂

[@Artemis_A-24]

Better than "I'm a woman, therefore I deserve a ring" 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@sienna5213]

@@Artemis_A-24 your so mad that this guy is being called out for being a creep because your probably exactly like him

[@MrJohneblaze822]

​@@sienna5213 What about those silly Instagram girls going to the gym with tight skimpy clothes, and accusing men of being creeps who weren't even pay attention to them?

[@evjimz8460]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 clinger!!!

[@zz2791z]

Doing this in Philly.. you are a solider 😂💀… NY and Philly men are extra aggressive. Amazing video 💗.

[@ChloeIsCrazy]

girls supporting girls makes me smile so much its crazy, i love women 💗💗

[@EmL-kg5gn]

I would dress so much more revealing if men made a habit of remembering that women are people!! I don’t mind if someone’s attracted to me, even though that’s never what I aim for with my outfits. It’s the objectification and dehumanisation that I have an issue with. You can appreciate or admire someone’s appearance without thinking such creepy thoughts that just the way you look at them feels violating. And the harassment is just so gross and unacceptable. I don’t even have words. Harassment is a threat not a compliment and I’m sick of being gaslighted about it

[@kitcat2449]

Same but not even for style reasons. I have sensory issues and hate how most fabrics feel on my skin. I'm always half naked at home. I'm also asexual so things like that don't even cross my mind. Sure I find my body beautiful and comforting to look at, like hell yeah female human body, but not necessarily sexy.

[@bossyboots5000]

Just saying 💯 to your comment so you know there's others out there who also see that and know what it really is: objectification, harassment and threatening. The gaslighting is real, but their sentiment isn't. ✊️

[@bogantellectual]

Or I don't even mind if men look at me and think 'damn she's hot, I'd love to have sex with her.' I think it about people too. (i'm panseuxal.) Just don't say it. And context is everything. If I'm dressed up at a busy bar, I'm not phased by a stranger casually saying "Damn you're gorgeous." As long as they take the hint if I don't return the same energy. This happened to me recently, and I said thanks, and joked sorry I only date ugly men cos i wanna be the hot one. Then switched the conversation to what he does for work. My friends and I ended up spending half the night with him & his friends, and it was chill. He never made another move on me. In fact I was the one who asked for his socials because he said I liked another bar I frequent.

[@EmL-kg5gn]

@@bossyboots5000 I appreciate it! So well said

[@MakeupByKrishna]

I think you got more direct compliments from women in the male gaze outfit because I think we subconsciously know that if you are wearing an outfit like that, you may be more open to the attention (in a respectful way). In the female gaze outfit, I think they’re aware that it’s cute and that you put effort into it, but that you’re not necessarily looking for the same type of attention and they don’t want to make you uncomfortable.

[@nrmf]

In my opinion, I think the couple complimented you in your female gaze because had he complimented you in your male gaze outfit, his partner would assumed he complimented you out of a place of lust. And I think women were open to complimenting you because your male gaze outfit looked a lot more open and welcoming. The female gaze outfit looked like the type of outfit you wear on a business day when you don’t want anyone bothering you. When most people see a person fully clothed, they get the idea they don’t want any attention and I feel like the women probably didn’t want to come of as invasive.

[@gabby9388]

It’s so interesting how you got the compliments from the couples, that’s kinda cool

[@TinyJustice]

I think the difference between the compliments are that with the male gaze outfit, the compliments were more geared towards you, as what you are wearing is designed to flatter your body and accentuate your features, so people are more likely to approach you because the compliment was directly about you as a person. However, with the female gaze compliments, it was less about you and more about the style and fashion. They liked the outfit and was most of the time thinking personally to themselves how they enjoy that style, maybe they want to wear it or wished they could pull it off. Therefore, it was more of a personal and materialistic compliment they didn't necessarily feel obliged to share :)

[@dasytaylor]

The woman at 8:30 was rocking that dress ❤

[@YOURMOTHAISEMINEM]

Real

[@lovisamaanmies2983]

I notice this every time I dress more "feminine" I get way more compliments and people saying "you look so nice today" etc and then when I wear something baggy/masculine I get almost no attention at all. I feel waaaaaaay more comfortable when I wear baggy clothes, I can move more easily and I just feel more like myself. But still I enjoy more feminine outfits because that makes me feel pretty, and I just want to expand my comfort zone and I figure if I wear skirts/dresses more often I will eventually get more used to it. This is such an interesting topic I could talk about it for hours!

[@f8hmida]

Yess on pointtt

[@bxrmin]

I got goosebumps when the girls commented about the male gaze outfit so innocently and so respectful!

[@harshitabhuyan8892]

Okay genuinely saying I am a woman and I genuinely find bodycon dresses and dresses in general very beautiful. The style , the silhouette, the design, the colours and fabric i love experimenting with the dresses i wear irrespective of what men say. I find what you called a "male gazey" outfit way more flattering than wearing baggy tshirts. I saw someone say the reason women compliment someone wearing an outfit like that is because they have internalized the opinions of patriarchy, don't you think that is a generalization? It's literally like saying a woman cannot have her own opinions about this if it doesn't match your narrative. It is the same as gaslighting a woman and her opinions if she just happens to genuinely like the same thing as a man. That is the opposite of what Feminism stands for.

[@Lovesomemaria]

Very real I also feel like the "male gaze" outfit had the big fur thing on her head and I feel like that draws a lot of attention because not a lot of people wear that. Whereas the other outfit, you're being swallowed by. Still very cute of course but yeah.

[@multifandomnerd1328]

obviously it's stereotypes, but stereotypes are there for a reason. my personal style is a lot more feminine too, but even then, there's a difference between male and female gaze. it's not necessarily about what it looks like, it's about how the woman feels while dressing herself. if you feel like you personally look good and it's you personal style, that's the female gaze. if you are wearing something that's revealing in a way you are uncomfortable with or that's not really your style, that's the male gaze. the difference is in the level of comfort you feel and radiate.

[@eatinsomtin9984]

oh shutup you feminist

[@sanada-sama8303]

​​​@@multifandomnerd1328so if someone grows accustomed to a style they arent initially comfortable with (because people experiment with different styles), is that now female gaze? Your definitions don't seem to work irl. Most people dnt dress to stand out and revealing attire tends to stand out (I'm sure men wearing revealing attire would stand out even more). If someone who is used to dressing more revealing dresses more covered it would initially be uncomfortable until they get accustomed to a style within that framework that works for them. So again, it just feels like generalizations with little nuance

[@cubone44]

@@multifandomnerd1328So if someone doesn’t feel confident and comfortable wearing a hijab. Then the hijab is now for the male gaze. Lmao okayyyyyyyy

[@sweetpea2788]

It’d be cool to see this experiment done in different countries!

[@Just_a_benchh]

Y’all, get this comment to the top!

[@LuzuraHater]

This is honestly such a neat experiment, it’s really interesting to see how all the women just complimented you and kept walking because they simply just wanted to let you know, whereas the men tried to get your attention with what they were saying

[@Jiu_zule]

Why is she so pretty? It's insane... the beauty that makes my heart flutter 💜

[@InspiredUno]

I agree with why females were not directly complimenting you in the female gaze outfit. We do the same thing on social media.

[@loawannie7812]

as a women the male gaze is ONE of MANY reasons (as in it’s not the only reason) i love wearing hijab. i often wear modest dress called abaya and a hijab or jilbab which is a long head scarf that covers. i feel like a princess it’s loose and flowy and really comfortable. i love that men don’t get to see my body and i have full control of who gets to see what. i think this video was super cool and really showed the difference between men and women edit: so some don’t misunderstand, i am NOT saying the more you cover the less male attention you get. i am fully aware that unfortunately men will look or give attention REGARDLESS of what you wear. the point mentioned was i love that even if they look, i have full CONTROL over what they see. it puts the power back into my hands after men have tried to take that away. LOVE ALL OF U GIRLIES PLZ DONT FIGHT IN THE REPLIES were all in this together💓

[@kittysnowshoe6475]

this is a very sad example of how cultural conditioning and misogyny has been confused with giving a woman "power"... Actually, there are plenty of indigenous tribes in S America and Africa where women walk around with nothing on and they don't garner a single unwanted glance from the men in their communities.. It's BECAUSE women have been told to "cover up" that the female form has become so s3xua1ised not in spite of this... Covering up just continues to perpetuate THE PATRIARCHY and continues to oppress and disenfranchise women, disconnecting them from their power. Covering up shows that men have "won" and gives them carte blanche to continue ruling over public spaces.. Very very sad.

[@sarahs.9678]

I am not Muslim but I value modest and try to live and dress modestly and I understand and appreciate what you’re saying. That is beautiful to me that you feel that way about it.

[@Gabriel-qn6ls]

Islam is a false religion.

[@Zzzz-py7ke]

Sameee💓 I love being in control of who sees my beauty. I get little to no stares from men because of my hijab alhamdulillah

[@awakenedone7577]

Modesty is best. Women understand men (visual creatures), they dress provocatively to get male gaze then complain about it to boost their ego. Good and planted women understand modesty and don't dress for unwanted attention

[@indubitablyamy]

i think the reason they complemented you less directly in the female gaze outfit may also be because the male gaze outfit is more socially acceptable in that it is already universally praised and complemented in media; its safe. The female gaze outfit is uncharted water. It is, in a sense, a rebellion to wear such an outfit and so complementing it subconsciously feels taboo. The girls whisper the complements to each other because they feel they should keep secret their admiration in your disregard of male platitudes.

[@kilimanjaro5537]

Yes, love this take!! I feel the same way.

[@saladsama4708]

nah what

[@visi5612]

No, not at all. Everyone wears baggy shirts. So it was nothing special. Your way of thinking is very flowery, but you should come back to reality.

[@dontevenstart]

@@visi5612bruh she was almost wearing all black and had a baseball cap on. A normal ‘baggy’ outfit would maybe be grey sweatpants and a t shirt, not the whole ensemble she has on. Don’t act like women don’t feel pressure to fit into the feminine standards and that’s ur immune to it.

[@visi5612]

@@dontevenstart Huh? How'd you even get all that from my comment? I'm not sure how you interpreted my comment as in women don't feel pressure to fit into feminine standards. I'm just saying her outfit was nothing special. Also, "wearing all black and had a baseball cap on" literally describes half the people you see in public..

[@sketchbook8725]

My problem with the male gaze outfit is that heels make it harder to run away fast enough from the crazy😂

[@whatthefkiswrongwithyoutube]

Compliments from other women always mean more to me because it's genuine appreciation that doesn't have an ulterior motive.

[@ebonih7138]

The way you film, the way you edit, BEST HOLIDAY SERIES YET ❤ this is a great video topic. I am bald so the lengths men go to in pursuit of a random woman is truly endless.

[@cocochinelo]

thank you!!

[@princessxsairee]

Also I feel like the more fashionable you are, the more intimidating you are. I know there’s a lot of people I’ve wanted to compliment, but because they looked SO good I got a little shy/intimidated or didn’t have the confidence to do it~

[@SpoiIedMilk]

Coming from an alternative/streetwear/emo/goth/grunge/cottagecore/y2k/literally most aesthetics, I've notice that those outfits are usually for the female gaze. The thing is that because you're wearing an outfit that relies on pure fashion instead of just showing off your figure to make yourself look good intimidates other women from complimenting you. I've noticed women taking second glances at my outfits or just whispering to their friends a few compliments instead of outright saying it. (Which always brightens my day but I too wish they said to to my face!! lol) I believe it DEFINITELY has to do with how much more confident you seem but also outfits like that also make you look unapproachable. Truly fashionable outfits just say 'I'm confident' or a few times 'I'm different'/'I'm better than you' It's just intimidating!! Because I too get too scared to compliment certain fashionable women than other approachable ones, even when they share the same style as me!

[@kaiya7984]

i think also for me specifically, if i see a girl wearing a cute/sexy outfit i wanna hype her up and give her a compliment bc i know shes probably got a lot of uncomfy attention from men, and personally for me, a compliment from another girl is so nice and refreshing

[@tiffanysmith4046]

❤

[@sidlazzar1002]

It’s just ridiculous that ppl have the energy to look mad or disgusted when it’s so easy to give someone a compliment on their outfit. You look amazing girl 💅🏼

[@Raaaaven]

Women and gay men give the best compliments. Especially gay men, you know you’re doing something right!