Q: “How Do I Stop Negative Self-talk?” | The Happiness Lab | Dr. Laurie Santos

It can speak to us in the middle of a work project, the middle of a date, or the middle of the night. The critical voice in our head telling us we’re just not good enough and we’re headed for failure. Listener Patricia B. wrote in to ask what we can do the quiet down this chatter.
To explain what damage negative self-talk does to us and explore some simple strategies to challenge our inner critic, Dr. Laurie Santos is joined by “chatter” expert Ethan Kross (professor of psychology and management at the University of Michigan).
You can read more in Ethan’s book Chatter: The Voice in our Head (And How to Harness it).
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ABOUT DR. LAURIE SANTOS
Dr. Laurie Santos is Professor of Psychology and Head of Silliman College at Yale University. Professor and podcast host Dr. Laurie Santos is an expert on human cognition and the cognitive biases that impede better choices. Her course, “Psychology and the Good Life,” teaches students what the science of psychology says about how to make wiser choices and live a life that’s happier and more fulfilling. The class is Yale’s most popular course in over 300 years and has been adapted into a free Coursera program that has been taken by over 3.3 million people to date. Dr. Santos has been featured in numerous news outlets including the New York Times, NBC Nightly News, The Today Show, CBS This Morning, NPR, GQ Magazine, Slate, CNN and O, The Oprah Magazine. Dr. Santos is a winner of numerous awards both for her science and teaching from institutions such as Yale and the American Psychological Association. She has been featured as one of Popular Science’s “Brilliant 10” young minds and was named TIME’s “Leading Campus Celebrity.” Dr. Laurie Santos is the podcast host for The Happiness Lab, which launched in 2019 has over 35 million downloads.
ABOUT THE HAPPINESS LAB PODCAST
You might think you know what it takes to lead a happier life… more money, a better job, or Instagram-worthy vacations. You’re dead wrong. Yale professor Dr. Laurie Santos has studied the science of happiness and found that many of us do the exact opposite of what will truly make our lives better. Based on the psychology course she teaches at Yale - the most popular class in the university’s 300-year history - The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos will take you through the latest scientific research and share some surprising and inspiring stories that will change the way you think about happiness.
ABOUT PUSHKIN INDUSTRIES
Pushkin Industries is an audio production company dedicated to creating premium content in a collaborative environment. Co-founded by Malcolm Gladwell and Jacob Weisberg in 2018, Pushkin has launched seven new shows into the top 10 on Apple Podcasts (Against the Rules, The Happiness Lab, Solvable, Cautionary Tales, Deep Cover, The Last Archive, and Lost Hills), in addition to producing the hugely successful Revisionist History. Pushkin’s growing audiobook catalogue includes includes the innovative works from Malcolm Gladwell, Michael Lewis, Florence Williams, Michael Specter, Noah Feldman, Joshua Cohen, and more. Pushkin is dedicated to producing audio in any format that challenges listeners and inspires curiosity and joy.
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[@DrLaurieSantos]

This week on The Happiness Lab: Listener Questions, Ethan Kross helps with tips for regulating our negative self-talk. Ethan explains how we *can* harness the chatter in our heads to feel and perform better if we have the right strategies.

[@drkpk384]

great talk continue it

[@sherrypandolfo3597]

​@@drkpk384.

[@drkpk384]

thanks dear dr plz have regular podcost ,these having immense effects on all and helping all @hubermanlab

[@drkpk384]

thanks a lot madam

[@robertafierro5592]

I had a Phychologist call this Automatic Thoughts. Only after I started listening to Positive Affirmations, over and over again, did I become aware that I was doing it to myself. I began to catch myself as I was thinking myself actually thinking .negatively. As soon as I realized it, I would stop the negative path that I was choosing, subliminally, and I would do the opposite. I would look at the positive side of it.

[@kejansenz]

For me this is one of the most useful podcasts in the whole of youtube. This is the first podcast on this topic that also offers effective strategies on how to deal with your inner child, and to get in on your side. This in combination on dealing with unhealed trauma, using EMDR therapy has finally brought me peace. You will get relapses from now and them, but don't give up. I also highly recommend the YOLO podcast of dr. Santos.

[@ILoveMyself-Now]

Unfortunately, I found I was too broken inside to do anything other than have it all rewritten Too many traumas too many unhealthy beliefs. Incredibly I stumbled on an app that was created by a best selling author of which I had read some of his books previously in my life. At the time all the affirmations and self reflection in the world was not having the desired effect my negative internal dialog was SO STRONG. Fortunately, I discoverd a path past the internal dialog and that was in both repitition AND not really paying attention or listening directly to the recordings I was playing. I let recordings play in the background of life and let the subconscious build a habit hearing such as well as to build vocabulary of thoughts I had previously not had any experience with. One day I just magically started WINNING the arguments in my head by countering with a vocabulary my mind had never had before. From there my mind developed the experience needed to gain an indestructable internal fortitude.

[@williampeters1931]

what's the name of the app?

[@tnijoo5109]

How’s it going now? What app is it? Any suggestions you have? Thanks a lot! Hope you’re doing well. 💚

[@NickName_9536]

Could you share the author and the name of the app? TIA

[@handymanreality]

My apologies I have only received my first notification from this thread today. I have provided a link to the app in another comment of today. Thank you for your inquiry I am doing fabulously the app empowered me to save my own life and now prosper.

[@paog6272]

I am so addicted to this channel !! Thank u so much!! Mrs Santos voice ❤

[@KeanuV111]

Incredible information and tools, thank you thank you 🙏🎉❤

[@shyamalsaha2763]

thank you... very useful insight

[@daydreamalston]

Great Episode 🙏🏽

[@berniefynn6623]

BY SPEAKING as if to another person, a positive self talk, you cannot have a thought and talk at thesame time.

[@noraluzcalugas2731]

Hello Doctor Laurie Santos🧬♀️🛡️🌐🌎🌞🚭Effective Strategies for Positive 💭 Thoughts, Improve Well Being, Feminine Perspective, Happiness 😊 Lab!

[@mohamedElyas97]

Hi Dr I MY WAY TOO BE HAPPINESS IS TO STOP ALL MY THOUGHTS BECAUSE ALL MY SADNESS COME FROM MY THOUGHTS SO I LIVE WHEN IAM NOT DOING THING IN NOT THINKING AND I FEEL RELAXE

[@drkpk384]

madam do one on exercise spirituality

[@geethageethu2215]

Stop it its not worth watching

[@tnijoo5109]

I’m 12 minutes in and I already ordered the guy’s book. 😢 is it not helpful?