The Introvert's Guide to Extroversion | The Happiness Lab | Dr. Laurie Santos

Jessica Pan hated social gatherings - she cried when her friends threw her a surprise birthday party, and was even too scared to give a speech at her own wedding. Jessica was a hardcore introvert - and it was making her sad.
Extroverts find it easier to experience the joy that comes with social interactions - but that doesn't mean introverts are doomed to lives that lack such fun. Jessica read some research that suggested introverts can learn to enjoy being more outgoing - so decided to turn her social life around.
You can read more of Jessica's story in her book: Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes. She is posting updates from her year of extroverting at her Substack, "It'll Be Fun, They Said" (jesspan.substack.com/).
#podcast #happiness #howtobehappy #friendship
ABOUT DR. LAURIE SANTOS
Dr. Laurie Santos is Professor of Psychology and Head of Silliman College at Yale University. Professor and podcast host Dr. Laurie Santos is an expert on human cognition and the cognitive biases that impede better choices. Her course, “Psychology and the Good Life,” teaches students what the science of psychology says about how to make wiser choices and live a life that’s happier and more fulfilling. The class is Yale’s most popular course in over 300 years and has been adapted into a free Coursera program that has been taken by over 3.3 million people to date. Dr. Santos has been featured in numerous news outlets including the New York Times, NBC Nightly News, The Today Show, CBS This Morning, NPR, GQ Magazine, Slate, CNN and O, The Oprah Magazine. Dr. Santos is a winner of numerous awards both for her science and teaching from institutions such as Yale and the American Psychological Association. She has been featured as one of Popular Science’s “Brilliant 10” young minds and was named TIME’s “Leading Campus Celebrity.” Dr. Laurie Santos is the podcast host for The Happiness Lab, which launched in 2019 has over 35 million downloads.
ABOUT THE HAPPINESS LAB PODCAST
You might think you know what it takes to lead a happier life… more money, a better job, or Instagram-worthy vacations. You’re dead wrong. Yale professor Dr. Laurie Santos has studied the science of happiness and found that many of us do the exact opposite of what will truly make our lives better. Based on the psychology course she teaches at Yale - the most popular class in the university’s 300-year history - The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos will take you through the latest scientific research and share some surprising and inspiring stories that will change the way you think about happiness.
ABOUT PUSHKIN INDUSTRIES
Pushkin Industries is an audio production company dedicated to creating premium content in a collaborative environment. Co-founded by Malcolm Gladwell and Jacob Weisberg in 2018, Pushkin has launched seven new shows into the top 10 on Apple Podcasts (Against the Rules, The Happiness Lab, Solvable, Cautionary Tales, Deep Cover, The Last Archive, and Lost Hills), in addition to producing the hugely successful Revisionist History. Pushkin’s growing audiobook catalogue includes includes the innovative works from Malcolm Gladwell, Michael Lewis, Florence Williams, Michael Specter, Noah Feldman, Joshua Cohen, and more. Pushkin is dedicated to producing audio in any format that challenges listeners and inspires curiosity and joy.
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[@mikehunt2162]

I'm polite and talkative to people everyday when I go out and people don't seem like they don't want to be bothered. I still continue to be kind, polite and social 🤗🤗

[@lisadieter-burns]

As an introvert, I push myself to socialize, but I still need my quiet time by myself. Thanks for the confirmation that pushing myself is helpful. I never regret it. 😊

[@chasealvarez5209]

i took a trip to europe solo as a introvert! I quickly found out that just approaching someone, smiling and saying hello got a BUNCH easier after repetition, and i had a small trick to calm my nervousness at first. i would always carry along a little tin of breathmints, and if i wanted to start a conversation i could always offer one as a conversation starter.

[@halien9082]

I don't know if I fully agree. Depends on how you define happiness. If it's about the rush of dopamine, sure, pushing to be more extroverted in small moments in life would do the job. Also I don't dispute that vocational extrovertedness is an important skill to have. But I'm against completely shifting to an extroverted lifestyle in pursuit of happiness. It requires a lot of time and energy, and introverts will find themselves left with very little resources to spend on their alone time, which I don't think is healthy in the long run. Like, I can't spend every weekend going to social events and still be happy. Energy level should also be considered in measuring happiness. After back to back days full of social interactions, I find myself exhausted to the point of depression.

[@mia21281]

That's why everyone couldn't handle the pandemic. Being alone and living with less people around is very hard.

[@lilybell82]

Well, there were plenty of people who handled it with ease. Those were introverts😉 As for me, I wasn't even noticing any changes, things stayed totally the same for me.

[@wtrbrns]

I do keep trying, it just feels like it doesn't work. I'm Not making new friends, people don't respond with interest and after trying i feel even worse. Advice?

[@Rich-dz5fk]

Go do things you love to do. Talk to those people... and be genuinely interested in them as this podcast suggests.

[@wtrbrns]

I dont think i love anything anymore. I swear im trying, i really am

[@wtrbrns]

@@Rich-dz5fk i try to learn new things ang go to new courses to see if a learn anything new o meet new people but nothing seems to click. I really dont know what to try next

[@mazinmazincv7192]

@@wtrbrns sis i also feel like this at some point of my life(before 5-6month ) i watched videos like how to interact with people, how to talk, etc. it's never worked.any ways at last i realize my problem wasn't be that(how to interact...) the only problem i have is lack of self love i accepted that and start to ingress self love now i think every thing is changed. I love to stay with me and people start to come to me *if you're introverted that's never means you cant interact with people or you haven't confidence it's only means you like to stay with you *you can also watch "the science of well being " and if you starts to implement thing that said in that course you will start to see changes in you're life *remember it's all take time

[@michelleoliveira121]

@@wtrbrns you seem to like make up at least a little by your profile pic! Maybe there's something more you can explore in this area?