Healing Trauma in a Toxic Culture with Dr. Gabor Maté | Being Well Podcast

Renowned physician Gabor Maté joins Rick and I on this episode of Being Well to explore the many problems for our body and mind that arise out of our modern culture, and what we can do to meet our needs, heal ourselves, and become more whole. We discuss our increasing separation from one another, issues with aspects of the medical model, the true nature of addiction, the developmental needs of children, the myth of “normal,” and recovering from traumatic experiences.
About Our Guest: Gabor Maté is one of the world’s leading experts on trauma, addiction, and childhood development. His work has had an enormous impact on how we understand the interactions between our internal world and the world around us, and he is the bestselling author of "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts," "Scattered Minds," and his newest book "The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture."
Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:55 What Gabor means by a toxic culture
4:50 Interpersonal biology - our physiology is modulated by our relationships
7:50 What components are needed for a healthy culture?
13:20 Examples of toxic culture’s impact on people’s behavior
17:05 Addiction
23:40 How and when to distinguish degrees of trauma
30:30 Where and when to express healthy anger
36:30 How turning against the self manifests as illness
38:10 What supports people in returning to their authentic nature?
44:00 Psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy and a sacred context
46:10 Grief, integration, and letting go
49:55 Gabor’s relationship with his children
54:15 Five kinds of compassion, disillusionment, and truth
57:30 Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
1:00:00 Recap
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Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
You can follow me here:
🎤 apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 www.forresthanson.com
📸 / f.hanson

[@missscribbles6530]

He’s the educator I needed to overcome crippling meth addiction; forever grateful to have discovered him on my healing journey

[@mani7263]

I found him only since the pandemic, am clean off meth 8 years...but still working on recovering. This lecture is absolutely profound.🙏🏻

[@missscribbles6530]

@@mani7263 first comes self awareness, acceptance and then for me … art ! I share my experience under a-shared-experience on tumblr . 196 days sober

[@iMakeThinkingFUN]

@@missscribbles6530 I need help since COVID 19 Il lost everything including my discipline... and now I became addicted to meth as well and I don't klnow how ... .. Never thought that Iwould get so depressed to become that... I just don't know how to change... and what is killing me is the loneliness ... Thank you for sharing... it gives me hope. B Taylor ... I've been listening everything on Dr. Gabor Mate .. and it rings true to me somehow...

[@missscribbles6530]

@@iMakeThinkingFUN Covid caused all of our distractions to melt away and forced us to sit with our pain, our truths. Meth is a simple solution so it’s easy to turn to, I’m 198 days sober and very much accepting my pain . There will always be pain and always easy solutions to avoid it , look for what brings you joy , even if it’s not easy

[@om7854]

That was a very inspiring discussion... I Iaughed but mostly shed quiet tears of relief.....it's been so worth the ongoing long journey home to my true self.

[@Adrian-sl9zj]

I listen to this guy Gabor often. He’s a very intelligent man, with great experiential insight into spirituality and healing. We need him in this world in these times 🙏🏻

[@angelitaalvarez3458]

I've been listening to everything I can find on Gabor Mate. The trauma, neglect, and loss I've lived with for 53 years is finally being healed. I cannot Thank Him enough.

[@lolam.5062]

Completely n accord🎉

[@nathananderson8720]

This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my KZbin channel 10 months ago about self development. Now I have 1,969 subs and > 2k hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.

[@SunraeSkatimunggr]

In a weird way, the neglect that happened to me as a child more than 60 years ago was my saving grace from my family. It caused me to a very good observer of people and how weird "culture" is. My poor elder sister was so fully immersed in it that she can't even see how screwed up it was/is. But this being said, it is VERY difficult to see our own issues, so I'm sure this plenty crazy to go around :) I do encourage others try and understand that their parents were messed up, as were their parents, and so on...so in many ways it is not your parent's fault for being so terrible at it. I tried very hard not to pass on the "culture" to my only son, and he is a much better parent than I am, so hopefully things will change for the better through my line.

[@alaska9077]

It is interesting how even though we can be raised in the same environment, as siblings, our experiences are unique. I left a messed up family as young teen and feel as if I am the only sibling out of six who survived with a healthy mental attitude after what we experienced. Some siblings were monetarily more successful, but have addictions, anger problems, relationship difficulties, etc. Or blame their current problems on their upbringing, when they’ve had years to work on healing themselves.

[@ladybug5859]

@@alaska9077 Congratulations on realizing what success is, which is actually feeling peace within oneself🕊

[@alaska9077]

@@ladybug5859 Thank you friend. I had a big party for myself when I bypassed how many years I had lived in the home I was raised. I had decided that I had 16 years to undo what they had inflicted for 15 years. 31 was a fantastic birthday!! It was a victorious feeling. 🥳🎉

[@robertafierro5592]

I try NOT to be the kind of mother mine was.

[@dr.gbailey]

Thank you for sharing your story here. You can be very proud of yourself for breaking the trauma cycle in your family. Sometimes, it is hard to se it on your own how much your childhood traumatic experiences effected you. having someone who can support you connecting with those painful experiences can be incredibly helpful. Gabor, was needed to spread out awareness on the importance of our feelings from babies into adulthood

[@Dink_Jenkins]

Forrest you are THAT DUDE. the way you tie together and guide conversations to extract so much goodness is extremely skilled and authentic. huge props

[@susie_q1]

You and your dad left me cold. You confronted a man who is and has been an open book about his entire life. He is one of the most transparent human beings I have ever seen. Your quiet methodical voices plotted and planned putting your 'intellectual' sentences together fell very short to me in this interview as you seemed to have had no reason to interrogate (attack) Dr. Gabor Mate re: his life and direction which he has shared world wide in a multitude of videos, books, speaking engagements et al., especially pulling pretty much all together in his most recent book, The Myth of Normal. I see clearly that the angst between you and your dad in taking advantage of Gabor's Compassionate Inquiry methodology which may help you both find your true selves. And your speaking patterns to me are too robotic and seem to come across as you think yourselves perhaps way above most others in your soft spoken demeanor, as an actual riot lives inside your minds and bodies. The gig is up which is a blessing in the works. So glad I can express my thoughts as you just did. Hope you both can come off your high horses, exchange truths, heal, forgive, lighten up and relax and have some really good times together. Painful, but healing, freedom and peace will come.

[@leilanikraushaar1111]

I am First Nations, and have had to work very hard to heal and know myself. It took 60 years for me to realize I am perfect and not flawed. I am Yellow Hands Spirit Woman. Trauma sucks.

[@taralilarose1]

God bless you sister!

[@gwenwalker6925]

I really feel you, am 62 now and aware still a novice in authentic compassionate self awareness d living, go gently, indigenous culture healthy has much to teach us ❤

[@macoeur1122]

"Nature wants you to be yourself, more than it wants you to survive"....OMG...Now THAT is something I can get behind! All of the evidence is there if we're just willing to look at it. 🥰 I heart Gabor!

[@robynhope219]

Wait, what? "Nature wants us to be yourself more than nature wants us to survive." This is total bunk! THE MOST IMPORTANT THING NATURE WANTS US TO DO IS SURVIVE...and it will do so under any condition.

[@macoeur1122]

@@robynhope219 Yeah...well I think we all have that survival instinct ...but it's one part of a complex system. We are complex beings with biological, psychological, social, and spiritual dimensions, and these factors are interconnected and mutually influential. Changes in one domain can affect other domains, leading to an impact on overall health and well-being. The way I'm taking this comment is that "if we are not allowed to be ourselves, there is a part of us that can lose the will to live....this can be unconscious and can even lead to Physical and physiological changes we may not even be aware of...and behaviors that don't support our health, etc...."

[@robynhope219]

@@macoeur1122 I think our false selves are there to survive. We will abandon them when no longer needed.

[@macoeur1122]

@@robynhope219 I'm not sure what you mean by "false self" but I do feel that all parts of us exist for a purpose...and it stands to reason that they will persist for as long as they need to.

[@lisas.1002]

Congratulations on the interview. Dr Mate is brilliant, compassionate and forthright. The world needs more physicians like him.

[@harparatata]

I love Dr. Gabor's emotional intelligence... he goes importantly deep.. deep into the root of a human behavior and a human being

[@pieyedapple]

"...addiction was your attempt to solve a problem..." Best explanation for what so many of my loved-ones are going through...thank you.

[@GodHelpMe369]

Attachment styles are about more than romance. They’re wired into the core of our nervous systems, and they’re a foundational element of who we are. They show up every time we get stressed - in any relationship. Unresolved wounding is what causes us to be so insecure. If you want to feel security, connection, and confidence in every aspect of your life, then you MUST learn how to solve the conflict/repair cycle because that’s the foundation of it all. The journey doesn’t end by learning your attachment style. It’s just the beginning.

[@ryanbachman3850]

I'm having a really hard time fighting the alienation that comes from finding our dominant culture reprehensible. I was making considerable progress healing from cptsd from adverse childhood experiences but now I'm completely stuck as I feel like I'm being retraumatized by my understanding of the climate catastrophe. I feel like I'm triggering and reliving the feelings of abandonment and helplessness. As an engineer who really went down the rabbit hole of understanding our current predicament I feel like most of the advice therapists have offered to ameliorate my eco anxiety are just platitudes. I'm having a hard time finding a therapist in my area who understands eco anxiety and also feel responsible for any trauma I might induce in someone else by explaining the severity of what I see and feel with respect to the health of our biosphere. I'm trying to be patient and hope more therapists will learn about climate science in my area so I can find someone to talk to. Gabor Mate gives me hope that there are people that have the courage to look into the darkest corners to help others that are suffering, I hope his message continues to spread. We need it in the worst way.

[@booksquid856]

Not every catastrophe is worth believing in. Have you ever read "Chronicles of a death Foretold" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez? It is brilliant. The man won a Nobel prize for literature sometime in the 80's. He is deceased but his writing remains effervescent. In this short fiction work, he chronicles what appears to be a myriad of coincidences leading to a murder. And yet he reveals how intentions and ethics and ignoring how we treat people, even just ignoring people period, are what leads to disaster. The characters have their memories of the weather even warped by their inner trauma. I find this to be a useful analogy. People are obsessed with the climate because they are told to and because it is a big enough issue (like the cardinal's arrival in town in the Marquez book) as to distract them from intimate issues demanding their concern. You can't heal the planet through globalist campaigns. These are a ruse. The greatest strength and/or biggest blight to the world is still how well you helped a neighbor.

[@kseniasmith8367]

I believe I may be experiencing something similar to you - a sense of impending doom, very graphic mental images, in combination with feeling absolutely helpless to do something about it or prevent it. It's been very difficult for me to find a way to handle these thoughts and the resulting feelings. One approach that gives me hope is trying to find compassionate language to speak to the part of me (inner child) that feels helpless (Dr. Kristin Neff focuses on compassion meditation), to remind myself that I am safe in this moment (in no immediate danger), and force my mind and body to focus on things I do have control over - taking some sort of immediate action that can affect my life in a positive way today (do something nice for myself, care for my surroundings and people). Wishing you all the best, Ryan.

[@rosieheller8989]

I can recommend Joanna Macy The Work that Reconnects. It is brave and wholesome in the face of these things

[@ryanbachman3850]

@@rosieheller8989 Thank you and everyone else that replied. I'm very familiar with Joanna Macy but I've never actually read any of her books so I think the time is calling me to do just that. Best of luck to you and everyone else on this journey

[@rosieheller8989]

@@ryanbachman3850 that's great, the workshops based on WTReconnects are great if reading doesn't appeal (and a great way to connect to others who feel the same!)

[@lynnolsen1498]

I'm so glad he feels that we need to acknowledge the tragedy of colonialism across North America at a A MAJOR LEVEL: i don't know if I'm right but my mind says it's our collective karma: if we heal it we can create a better world on this EARTH.

[@suzngyn]

Thank you for this interview. My family fled their country and as a 1st gen, the trauma of war and poverty created a lot of suffering for my siblings and I. Not to mention the racial trauma and discrimination experienced in the US. My younger brother passed away cancer, my sister become an alcoholic, and I’ve dealt anxiety, depression, and self-destructive behaviors most of my adult life. Now my sister just had a stroke and I feel my world is shaken again. Grief, rage, hurt…and I’ve never felt normal. I’m intrigued by the title of the book, and now after hearing Dr Mate talk, knowing he also has knowledge of Buddhism, I feel thankful to have heard him today.

[@deborahriley1166]

My mom was an alcoholic before I was conceived. My CPTSD, has been a mountain climbing experience! I have been climbing Mt Everest since I was a zygote 🥵 But, I have learned a lot, I am stronger than ever, and I want childhood trauma to be completely eliminated in the human paradigm!!! 🥰🙏☯️🙏☯️

[@cherierhynes8514]

It is my ❤️. In fact I let a # of career choices go in order to be with my growing son and to have a place for his friends or even aquaintences to come to to feel safe to receive treats and to do activities just for them to show up. As that was what saw me thru my childhood. It was good when they were 13 years and younger. There was that window of opportunity I felt. And I tried to have balance of showing attention and allowing them space. Presently its my joy in life when I can connect with parents @ their child and interact very briefly to let the child know they exist and are enjoyable just existing. Because I feel good but because they allow themselves to appreciate their child more. 👩‍🎤

[@lisawanderess]

Great interview! As someone with CPTSD and autoimmune Rheumatoid Arthritis I can arrest to Gabor Mate's statement regarding discovering the gift in my disease that gave me no other choice but to completely change my life, grieve and learn to return to my authentic self. My disease now lets me know immediately when I'm deviating by flaring up. Gabor is an absolute treasure! His book "When the Body says no" was brilliant in the initial days of my CPTSD diagnosis. Can't wait to get my hands on his new book "The Myth of Normal". 💗

[@nath1284]

I'm so thrilled and thankful for this vital conversation stemming from the meeting of minds and hearts of yourselves and Gabor - someone whose voice is needed at this time more than ever 🙏❤️

[@Comasca611]

I'm so very thankful for the spirituality evolved people on earth that enlighten us 🙏❤️ Thank you both for interviewing Dr Gabor!

[@Yuuthluithaht]

Thank you Gabor for being a voice and validating the systemic racism of the generational trauma of Indigenous people's with genocide.

[@Dani68ABminus]

Thank you all so much! I found this channel because I wanted to hear Gabor talk about his new book. Not only did I get to do that, I also found two more wonderfully insightful and caring people to listen to.

[@crow4130]

Covid and vaccines are causing many issues with many people. I am a medical professional and it’s really coming to light lately. Even us medical personnel , nurses, doctors etc are being hit with these illnesses as well. 😢❤Thank you Dr Mate

[@agle3324]

You mean mental right? You bet.

[@deborahlevine2740]

And all of the conspiracy theories! This has had a huge effect on me. With my experiences and observations and discovery. I was taught to trust. Loosing that has triggered CPTSD.

[@Lemoncare]

Did you think you were special ? No one in this country is special ! That’s the American way!

[@crow4130]

@@Lemoncare No , I have control over my ego. I was merely making a point. It is effecting many people and peoples health is risk. It’s very concerning to me, Most people think we have better healthcare and have some upper hand over non medical folks. Thing is we are the same.

[@crow4130]

@@deborahlevine2740 Yes, it has been extremely difficult for many people, it’s awful.

[@carolgerber6375]

I haven't even listened to this yet, but I know I'll LOVE it. Love, love, LOVE Dr. Gabor Mate! Listened to him a bunch of times and he is fabulous and most of all he gets it! Thank you!!

[@rosettarafanelli3989]

Thank you Forest and Rick . I have also discovered Dr Gabor recently and it has completely married all the personal searching journey I have been on this past year!! You two have been so helpful in my journey and it’s so reassuring to know that my recognition of Dr Gabor is because of your discussions! Thank you thank you

[@neelapatel1081]

This is so, VERY PROFOUND. Thank you To the Hansons, for giving the world this much knowledge and awareness. Dr Mate is wisdom personified.

[@msjujuz266]

Great channel and couldn't have come across it at a better time as im struggling with by CPTSD and the fact my Parents refuse to admit to the pretty bad mental and physical abuse they subjected my Sister and I to. I don't think I can forgive someone who isn't sorry and says we have "fake memories". P.s Dad has fantastic hair and you are lucky to inherit It!

[@cynthiafortier2540]

I just called out my narc dad and went no contact. I just can't justify having a relationship with my past abuser

[@ForrestHanson]

This is a really difficult situation to deal with, and I'm glad you've found the channel supportive!

[@tnt01]

@@cynthiafortier2540 narcs never change just get worse with age. let go of anger and resentment, it will eat you up alive. let go with compassion. hugs.

[@r3b3lvegan89]

I can relate to a certain degree with you and your sister. My legal parents became horribly brainwashed and aggressive and lost in their egos and hypocrisy in the last 6-8 years and all they care about is television and money and Facebook and their position at their job…I’m barely 30, I’ve worked 32+ jobs and am partially disabled from chronic pain conditions and cancer and all I am to them is an empty wallet that they play the blame game with while threatening and also physical abusive while denying it to my face. I’ve moved out twice and the job market is basically dwindling and all I know is isolation with my cat. You can be a good hearted person with potential and gifts and if you’re around hypocrites and brainwashed bipolar unhealthy narcs then you either get out somehow or become an accidental victim. Stay positive and compassionate and thanks for sharing your story.

[@jojojacques810]

I too am suffering as you are and for similar reasons, so first I extend my love to you 🙏 what has helped me to be more understanding and forgiving of others poor treatment of me, is that I believe they do not have the awareness or the courage necessary to repent. Therefore, we are the ones who must stay aware and courageous! In that way, we can forgive and heal! Pray for them, as I will pray for you! God bless you my dear 🙏❤️ FYI, you don’t have to have people in your life if they’re a danger to you, but you can still find compassion, understanding and forgiveness for their shortcomings 🙏

[@kimapts]

The comment about not having to carry it around everywhere with you moved me to tears. I am not yet been able to let go, but it moved me further towards freedom. Thank you for this. 🙏❤️

[@alaska9077]

Dr. Maté talking about suppressing anger; if my husband and I meet a female, who is extremely quiet and withdrawn, he will later exclaim how “nice ” she was. I will ask him, how he would know, if we couldn’t interact with her personality? Just because she was quiet, does not automatically translate to nice, it just means she was withdrawn. I always find this interesting, because he never describes a withdrawn male in this way.

[@mariaokhapkina6971]

Was / is his mother loud or disagreeable?

[@karmilkm]

Thank you for this. It gives a sense of relief that someone understands. I, like many here received childhood trauma in the form of mental and emotional abuse. Being told that I wasn't wanted, they already had their boy and girl, that it was my fault my mom gained weight after her pregnancy which resulted in her marital issues, that there's no reason for me to go to college because I won't be anything anyway, the list unfortunately goes on and on. I was told things no child should hear. I was treated so differently from my siblings, I thought I was adopted. All this went well into adulthood in actually being told in a room full of people that no one likes me. Therefore I cut ties because I knew I wouldn't survive another suicide attempt. So fast forward to now where I'm doing everything possible to continue in my healing. Then it comes, the social and cultural acceptance to use someone's God given name to describe the worst aspects of a humanity. This name is Karen and it's my name. So now pretty much on a daily I face my Mother's abuse but at a level I never thought possible. People I don't know and don't know me actually coming at me in such a bullying damaging way, not for anything I have done or said, because of my name. Snickering when I say it, changing their attitude towards me in a dismissive disgusted way when they hear it. It's to a point where I am ashamed to say it. I don't think people understand the pain it causes. No one is hurting the people who are hurtful, its hurting those who aren't and they're paying the price. Little girls named Karen are being bullied to the point they want to change their name. How did this happen? How is this ok to do to another human? To shame someone and their existence without even knowing their values or soul? I think I'm losing hope in society

[@gardenjoy5223]

Dear Autumn, seems that is the better name for you. Seasoned, experienced, reaping harvest but also some loss of leaves. It's logical to lose hope in society, when you see it deteriorate before your very eyes. Where you see evil people hurt better people. The pain is real and it is severe: the pain of injustice. Those crying the loudest among the meanest of them all. All I can say, is that this was predicted in the Bible, of people becoming like this. "But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these." 2 Timothy 3: 1-5. It's easy to see this in today's society. But this is not my home. And although I try my best to leave earth better, than I found it, I only started doing so, after I got touched by God. Before I was as selfish as the next person. He changed me from a taker into a giver. I could not have done that myself. Still, most people don't seek after God and subsequently never get such experiences of radical change. Their default seems to be that, which I had before: get what you can, you are number one, look out for yourself, etc. All things going in against love and kindness and goodness. The Bible calls that the 'flesh' warring against the Spirit of God. But those, who allow God, will be changed from the inside out. Alas, so many don't allow Him, as they value their sins more. So silly. Anyway, what helps me through, is the knowledge that life on earth is relatively short and earth is not my permanent home. Permanent is heaven.

[@vintagegq]

K.R.Douglas - I am just now seeing this interview & reading these comments. Thank You for sharing your painful journey. I, too, had a similar journey with my family physically & verbally abusing me as a child & being verbally & emotionally abused by my mother & sister as an adult. Now, they have disowned me because I have tried to speak truth & assert my needs & opinions which they don't respect or care about. I, too, have thought of suicide but it would only cause suffering to the few things in life that depend on me like my 3 dogs. You see, my only daughter died of an overdose 2 1/2 yrs ago by someone who did it to her on purpose. The grief was and still is enormous. I try to stay busy & read & study as much as I can. All you can do at this point is accept what you can't change (your family) and change the things you can (yourself). It's not an easy journey, I hate my first name, too. When I have to use it in public, I use my middle name. That might help. Good luck.

[@mercyme8014]

I love the name Karen…it seems so strong and balanced.

[@llm8268]

From the beginning when they started making “Karen” a negative personality, it was deeply disturbing and even sickening to me. It’s a harmful phrase I would never use. I always felt bad for all the innocent people named Karen, having to unfairly tolerate all that negativity. You sound like a very good, decent, and sensitive/empathic person and you don’t deserve that. Know that there are also kind people out there who care. I was born into a family with dysfunction and relate to what you are saying, please remember to take extra good care of yourself, love yourself unconditionally. See Eckart Tolle’s books and A New Earth.

[@robynhope219]

None of this is ok...ppl will do whatever they get away with. It's the nature of the human beast. There is still goodness in the world, just harder to find. Don't lose hope!

[@daynaclift2276]

I love your podcast Forrest and Rick; this one is my new personal favorite. Gabor is so authentic, and I always enjoy hearing him speak. Thank you for this enjoyable and helpful podcast. Good stuff guys!

[@valtracey6180]

By far the most comprehensive review of Gabor’s book I have heard, and love your recap Forrest …. your reflections show a deep understanding of all that Gabor is trying to convey … my book has just arrived in the post, I’m even more excited to read it now, but it sounds like I will have to read it slowly, very slowly, there are so many lessons to be found in it …. Thanks so much Forrest for sharing yours - you deserve an award! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@ForrestHanson]

Thank you Val! I appreciate it. Gabor had some kind words for us after the conversation that meant a lot to Rick and me.

[@valtracey6180]

@@ForrestHanson you’re welcome …. meant to add earlier, it was great that your Dad was part of this conversation, particularly in light of the discussion on trans generational trauma … having two generations in both the authors and the reviewers provided very open and honest viewpoints - I don’t know many people who would share space with their parents in this way, or sit down together to write a book on such sensitive topics. It gives me great hope for more reconciliations between parents and their children, alienated in our ‘toxic culture’. Thank you Rick, Forrest, Gabor and Daniel - there’s hope for us all 🥰

[@kristenwalmsley5177]

I've been listening to podcasts with Gabor Mate all week. This is the best one I've heard because the persona of the podcasters is minimized. Probably due to how much healing work they have done. There is a real presence that allowed more information to flow and storytelling that Illuminated the books concepts. Just wanted to express appreciation for that here.

[@denisesatt7044]

Yes the recap was exceptional as was the whole presentation

[@valtracey6180]

@@denisesatt7044 I have listened to this conversation at least 20 times now … I’ve lost count! Each time I discover something I missed, there is so much in this. This could be a really good documentary to help parents who are experiencing constant conflict with their adult children, also for anyone who has a loved one who is an addict. It’s an incredible episode.

[@fanfarestrings8460]

I love how the one interviewer was doing the classic 'I never had THAT happen to me' and was quickly checked by gabor. It's definitely a mark that we don't want to have or feel that we will never be accepted in the end. Gotta reveal these stories but keep them personal. Thanks for the podcast.

[@cbrashsorensen]

Yes. I have a close friend who will turn a conversation that is directed at "trauma" and say how wonderful her Mother was and that she herself never had to deal with poor parenting. Yet...her Father was an alcoholic and dumped the family. Denial is protective and can be important but not at some point in your life.

[@analogkid4957]

Yeah a lot of people deny that the COVID pandemic has had a traumatic effect on our culture the last two years similar to World War 2 in a previous generation. Life may never be back to normal pre-pandemic and it’s devastating.It’s easier to deny this Trauma and try to go on with a normal life like the pandemic never happened. It’s too painful to acknowledge a Traumatic event because that means emotional healing is required which is painful for most people.

[@catherinemanuele8352]

wow I am in tears. This is what I need to hear. Thank You Dr. Mate & Hanson family 💙

[@shar1338]

Gabor is the therapist I need to carry on! Complex trauma is a painful, And lonely journey 😢.. at 62 it’s hitting me hard as i grieve the loss of my parents

[@through.a.barrel.she.breathes]

I can’t get get enough of Gabor!!!!

[@le_th_]

Wow, was this podcast ever very well executed?! The content was concise, insightful, informative, and accessible/understandable (for many). Am I ever glad this popped up in my feed. Thank you, algorithm gods, and a MASSIVE & heartfelt thank you to all who worked to put this podcast together. Subscribed.

[@darlakazzy5968]

Thank you soooo much Dr Gabor!! This was a wonderful and one of my favorite podcasts!!

[@anoshya]

A genuine writer with deep insight as he has been surrounded by people in pain from addiction

[@rwaterssydney]

this man is amazing, what a huge contribution to society.

[@lewiskola]

This is perhaps one of the best interviews on Dr. Gabor Mate’s new book. I appreciate the awareness and attention paid to the emotions and feelings of the participants as they were mutually engaging and sharing with each other. For me, the interview was not merely about information sharing, but also about attention to and awareness of the emotions and feelings that were being induced in the course of the mutual sharing and engagement. In my humble opinion, this demonstrates something about the emotional awareness and intelligence and vulnerability of the participants of this interview. Thank you for this interview.

[@katnip198]

This video absolutely is a lifeline to those suffering in ignorance. This was so interesting and informative I could go on listening for hours. Thank you Thank you. Dr. Gabor is a blessing to this old suffering world. The interview can only be as good as the knowledge of the interviewers. I hope I am expressing that correctly. A masterpiece!

[@briananderson8428]

WoW, Forrest. I've never seen your channel. I loved this interview with Gabor, and it's so cool that you & your dad have such an open and friendly relationship. So rare.

[@ForrestHanson]

Thanks Brian!

[@denise2169]

Thank you for this brilliant interview! In listening to Dr Maté”s talks , I am always able to access a deeper part of myself. And I greatly appreciate your wonderful summary at the end of this talk. Thank you again!

[@gardeniabee]

I just love how these men are conscious and aware, observant in the moment. ✨

[@helenteichroeb9610]

Beautiful beautiful interview, and young Forest I commend you on your lovely recap of the biggest nuggets in this conversation, at the end!

[@KatCheairs]

Great conversation. I would just add that in terms of the big T and little t is also around how the culture assigns trauma. It is not that people with more privilege experience less trauma it is that the expressions of trauma are met with more compassion with those of more privilege than those who do not. When a black teen acts out from a place of trauma and isolation, the culture subjects that teen to even greater punishment and further trauma because they are not seen as human and needing of care. This belief is largely unconscious BUT often carried out through conscious actions. The black teen has to deal with the effects of an alcoholic father AND being stopped by the police. bell hooks can be added to the conversation on her theories about how the nature of oppression can start within family systems and work their way out into the society and vice versa. Any idea of separation from the larger culture breads isolation. So a white man of privilege thinking he has nothing in common with a black teen with none can actually become an entry point to ask why that belief is even present.

[@randymulder9105]

Superb. Thank you. That breaks down everything I have thought about racism, it's effect on me personally, witnessing other people affected, and getting a feeling about that very question. I'm white. Had a very traumatic childhood for years on end. Being less privileged as a white guy in an immigrant family wasn't too shabby. But I had to hear all my parents' stories about being Dutch, with strong accents, in Canada got them treated horribly. Montreal. French people hated the Dutch in general and treated my family horribly. They didn't pay them sometimes so they went without food. So they moved to Ontario, worked in factories, on farms, and on retail. Mom worked in Tobacco and old age homes. Dad worked in a store, on farms, and in a factory. They had 5 jobs together. Mostly physical labour. After the war, they left Holland with nothing. Raising us was another story and hell. Intergenerational trauma ensued. I'm 50. I'm still in therapy. White privilege? Yes. I suppose because even though family was treated like garbage, no one would hire them as immigrants, but eventually their whiteness wore off on other white Canadians. Clearly, if they were black life would be more hell. My journey was rough. But, if I was black it would be more hell. So, that's obvious to me. Being white, even if the journey is awful too sometimes, black stories from black friends unsettle me the most. They can have a bad family life and also get treated horribly by the world at large. And that's just skimming the surface of what they deal with. Again, I'm not them. But I learned by listening to their stories. Tough life. My Dad made it his mission to help any other immigrant or local person that was a minority. He didn't do it for prestige or virtue signalling or whatever. He saw an opening to help those in need and offered a helping hand. Black. White. Brown. Gay. Straight. He was always good to others from war times to his death knowing "the other" had it worse. I do the same. Best I can do under the circumstances I'm in. Read. Read. Read. And get other people's perspectives as often as possible. Life is more wonderful sharing stories and trying to get along as best as possible. Try.

[@KatCheairs]

@@randymulder9105 Thank you for sharing Randy. 🙏

[@randymulder9105]

@@KatCheairs you know. I'm trying. I try. I listen. If I don't get it. I talk to people from different places and with different journeys than my own. And what I finally learned. It's not that people of colour are trying to take away anybody else's struggles or journey...whether they be privileged, positive, negative, horrible, and/or great lives. People are fighting to have their voices heard and understood. I'm gay, so I think it helps a little bit to understand the concepts that if you do not fit the norms in society, appear or behave differently than the majority that you are treated in a way that is detrimental to your mental health and well being. And that's speaking mildly about volumes of historical nightmarish stories. I will do what I can to listen to someone else's voice and believe them and their story. And do what I can to support their ability and opportunity to thrive and survive. I'm glad that some people succeed and make it in the world being a minority despite all the negative experiences. Sadly. I know too many people that are not doing well. The weight of the world on their shoulders while navigating a constant barrage of negative stereotypes and horrible experiences eventually breaks their spirit. Here's to hope, hard work, voices heard and understood, and people with a supportive nature. Conversations like these move me along to better serve the minorities in my community. I need to learn how to interact, behave, and converse in this complex social world. Ignorance is NOT bliss.

[@valtracey6180]

A beautiful conversation, thought provoking, enlightening. Raw honesty. But despite the heaviness of the topics, it offers hope and the possibility of healing, for anyone, anywhere, no matter what their story is or how their pain was inflicted or by whom. A real sense of healing…….. 💕❤️

[@Portia620]

Agree! An addiction can be anything!!! Who hasn’t had an addiction??

[@bernadettebradley7951]

We all addicted to our phones 😮

[@tmmartinesq.6216]

@@bernadettebradley7951 Not, all of us are

[@Dzanarika1]

@@tmmartinesq.6216 Yeah, riiiiiiight. You are very ignorant for saying that.

[@annaward9178]

💕🌈 love this - thank you gentlemen-fancy having Forest,Rick and Gabor together talking about such a revolutionary subject - brilliant and I’m sensing a movement and revolution in thinking for the good that has come out if this Covid crisis… amazing -thank you once again for your brilliance and dedication

[@coreywalker7178]

I grew up as an only child of an under-educated single mother. We were always living with other people, where I would just have to keep my mouth shut and deal with what was going on and try to be useful so we could keep having a place to stay.

[@annorr11]

You Gabor, are an early adopter maybe an early adapter as you pioneered many of these concepts regarding trauma, addiction and healing. You reconfigured your relationship with your children before it was too late. I am going to wish for every family a father like you.

[@jcszot]

This was a great podcast! I can really resonate with what Dr. M says on how addiction is connected or is a response to pain. The only addiction I ever dealt with was nicotine with cigarettes which I have since quit about 7 1/2 years ago. But - my husband passed away in 2013 from a catastrophic illness. I started to use shopping to soothe my grief. It was almost like I was buying things in hopes to fill the void that he left behind. This lasted for almost a year after he passed and then I realized what I was doing. For me I was never one to drink alcohol. I never cared for alcohol and I never cared for drugs. But my coping mechanism seemed to be making purchases. I eventually realized this through the help and support of bereavement groups and reading other self-help books but it’s interesting how we all gravitate to different coping mechanisms. Once again - great podcast! Thank You! 🙏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@CJFreeza]

A counselor once told me to read Gabor Maté and it really changed my perspective on life.

[@cynthiafortier2540]

How very validating, thank you Dr Mate. You sir are helping not only me but many. I thank God for you. Thanks for sharing such truths.

[@debreed2558]

Dr. Mate is brilliant and recommend his work to all.

[@Diana-jx1ju]

So relieving to hear such honest, compassionate conversation.

[@KaldoniaKaldonia]

Grateful for this incredibly heartfelt and vulnerable talk. Such love and kindness between the three of you 🥰. If I may make an general observation …. Our culture is toxic due to the masses being hurt and traumatized. We are all so hurt to some degree, this might be the reason we think our culture is normal. “Awakening “ to this reality isn’t easy and there will be growing pains…but we need more of you three in our world to educate the masses. As an adoptee, my own journey to my trauma hasn’t been easy. I lost a 25 year marriage, friends and hurt my own sons. Thankfully, I’ve been able to repair with my sons. Brilliant talk. You are all so appreciated 💞🙏🏼🌹

[@danielbarrera8391]

"Addiction is not a choice". That needs to be a golden plaque in every therapist's office and in offices across the world. The belief in it being a moral defect is sooo harmful because it can further addiction. But the problem I see isn't just the addiction but the consequences of trying to withdraw can also reinforce addiction. There isn't much understanding of that though. The sad reality is that in some cases a person just may be too far gone. I've witnessed someone suffering with hair loss, diabetes, kidney failure, severe weight loss, tooth loss, and eventually they died. But couldn't imagine how that person would have rehabilitated without serious help... I'm feeling partially stuck in moving in a similar predicament unfortunately...

[@penyarol83]

Why shouldn’t serious help be offered? Surely nothing can heal if we mostly meet it with neglect. If we had less fake healing (medical system etc.) in our society and more real healing, I think it’d be a lot easier to help people. Many healthy hands (minds/hearts) make light work.

[@millymilly8097]

Wonderful interview! Gabor Mate (and Robert Greene) is one of the most brilliant intellectual of our time. It is honor to leave in his time and listen to his wisdom. Thanks to him I feel I belong to the humanity, there is a psychotherapist who understands that culture is toxic, not we. We just struggle to survive in this toxicity.

[@devlynne1916]

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” ~J. Krishnamurti A variation on the referenced Sufi inquiry of "Is it true, necessary, kind?" that I've seen in circulation is based on the THINK acronym expanding it to include is it True Helpful Inspiring Necessary & Kind - which this podcast & Gabor Maté's body of work has indeed been. Thank you! Beautiful examples in these conversations of how comparisons diminish an individual's experience of pain, & so tend to be invalidating or minimizing overall. Also a good example of the ACE study paradigm shift from "What's wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?" in trauma-informed approaches to care of individuals & even groups. Wow, I'd not before linked the idea of the emotional system & the immune system being interconnected & serving similar functions, great motivator to better attend to my emotions & the potentially unmet needs they are drawing my attention to - thank you. Bruce D. Perry quote which I've often drawn on to inform my journey has been, “For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that 'unless you love yourself, no one else will love you'...The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved & are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.” 'Entheogen' is rebranding psychedelics, evoking the language of divine medicine. Entheogens are drugs/plants/medicine that give you a spiritual experience. The word literally means “creating the divine within,” & is derived from the Greek roots en (within) theo (divine) & gen (creates). Entheogens have been used by indigenous peoples for millennia for “healing, knowledge, creativity, & spiritual connection.” Scientific research in the last decade has also demonstrated that these entheogenic plants & fungi can treat a range of chronic illnesses.

[@dorislester3412]

In a vast complex world we are so blessed to receive Dr Mate's deeply insightful strengths and wisdom. His experience, strength and hope are unparalleled. We love you abundantly. Endless gratitude .

[@RamonaMcKean]

This is the BEST interview/discussion I've listened to regarding Gabor Maté's book "The Myth of Normal..." I have the utmost respect for Gabor Maté and Rick Hanson. Thank you so much!! Authentic, present, potent. And thank you Forrest Hanson too! You have wonderful mentors/role models and youre doing great! 🌺❤️

[@carolinepostlethwaite4861]

Beautiful interview. Love the openess & honesty here of all the ways we have betrayed our true nature. That authenticity is our route home to our true core. Thank you all three of you. Love to all those watching too.

[@divinaflamingarrow9556]

I am so honored to be with each of you today for this priceless and often unspoken conversation!!! I would love to reach each of you!

[@FarideLadak]

Dr Mate is exceptional in his thought process and has the uncanny ability to articulate it so well. I have been following his teachings for the past five or more years now. Thank you

[@happybergner9832]

I love Gabor Mate💕.

[@natashas4713]

Am amazing conversation. I’ve learned so very much and feel validated for my journey and how my body has tried to manage it and protect me.

[@ForrestHanson]

Thank you Natasha!

[@Sunny-vm4ry]

'Not connected to a Marxist Critique about the means of production!!'...Genius!! The look on your face! I was tickled, too, Rick! Thank you, ALL of you! 💜

[@helenloughrey7660]

This is pure gold. I try to impress upon my family therapy clients that the culture is most responsible for what has happened between us and that feelings language fluency is how we can heal ourselves and each other from it. Subscribed.

[@robynforman1978]

Gabor is a legend. Excellent video. You're so fortunate to have a good man like your father. You two make a great team. Greetings from England

[@gameaudioshaman]

Gabor Mate waked (still wakes) the way. I like how he embodies what he speaks.

[@taktoktek]

This is the greatest episode ever!

[@stellabandante2727]

Bravo to all three of you. The content is profound and the delivery is graceful.

[@forecite]

Hi Forrest, this was a really interesting interview, well done! I knew a bit about Gabor before watching this video, but I'd never heard him speak or interact with others. Intense is a good descriptor! I wanted to say that I really appreciate what you and Rick create and share with the community. It makes a difference, thank you!

[@ForrestHanson]

Thank you!

[@crystaldanielle239]

Beautiful. Thank you, gentlemen! 🙏

[@DrayseSchneider]

Just starting to listen to the replay and I preliked out of my admiration for Dr. Gabor.

[@christelnielandt5117]

LOVED this conversation !!! Superb ! It’s so divine to hear people speak from vulnerability, just being ‘human’. Big thanks 🙏

[@drsandhyathumsikumar4479]

What a liberating conversation ..Bravo..gives me hope

[@Babesinthewood97]

This is the title I’ve been looking for all my life

[@debbiemcgarrity4716]

I worship him. Everything has context everything!

[@hissyfitz7890]

Truly a treasure. 🙏🏻

[@saa9099]

Thanks for sharing. This is good stuff. We need you Dr. right now and more people like you.

[@kathleankeesler1639]

Thanks for this delightful conversation.

[@lorrainechavez654]

I am that individual with the autoimmune disorders for half of my life, the last 30 years, one right after the next . . . PsA being the most painful. The first thirty years were the Trauma years, big T and little t. The next 30 have got to be the healing and the healthy years. I'm determined to do better, most especially with this new generation; my 2 year old granddaughter and my 6 week old grandson. I've done a lot of suffering, a lot of work and appreciate these conversations that help me grieve that help me grow.

[@lorrainechavez654]

Yeah, I'm "that gal", too, Dr. Gabor, me too. Making those repairs. Fortunately and unfortunately, my parents are still alive. You will never know how much it hurts.

[@lorrainechavez654]

Is it kind. Is it true. Is it necessary. Those must be Statements of a Creed not just questions but a Code, a code of my conduct, my words, my communication with myself and my relationships.

[@maryroot2599]

Gabor is so compassionate.

[@bjorgmarteinsdottir6200]

Very moving podcast. Very sincere. Thank you.

[@miramirez3574]

Been following Dr Gabor on youtube podcasts this last wk and found my way here

[@littlepony8571]

Profound conversation. Thank you for sharing

[@heidiperet7087]

👏👏👏 We are sooo lucky to have Dr. Mate in this day and age! Excellent podcast Forrest!

[@melt4769]

Great interview! I also loved how you simplified and summarized everything at the end. It was very helpful. Thank you. 🙏

[@normacabrera9089]

Doctor Maté Is the real deal. I wish he is invited again to this show. Thanks!

[@meganbowman4747]

Lovely, fantastic and extremely informative talk. Thank you, all!

[@calexprenas]

Thank you for this. 😌

[@sidewalktalkorg]

Gabor has so inspired our street listening. As had Rick but dang this was a good interview. Motivated us to get back out on the street listening.

[@anitabriski6750]

So true and insightful,aplicablel,just listening to this wonderful conversation is helpful and healing,thank you

[@madhuvijayasingh]

Amazingly well introduced and summarized! And how the life experiences of three persons were integrated to represent people across time and space, making it easier to identify with.

[@saturdayschild8535]

Thank you. 🙏🏾 This conversation gave me a lot to think about.

[@lolam.5062]

I knew whn briefly meeting Dr Maté many years ago at a talk he gave tht he ABSOLUTELY "gets it"! I so so love his work and am gr8full he and his wrk exist! He speaks my language❤

[@barbaramurray7550]

Thank you for telling the truth Dr.. Gabor Mate! Your message speaks and inspires me and gives me hope for humankind! Your message needs to be HEARD!🌿🦋♥☯🌿

[@mellowray561]

Wonderful from beginning To end.