Be Needed, But Don’t Be Needy

[@DryCreekWranglerSchool]

The zippo’s are now up on the Shopify store, and here is the link - dry-creek-wrangler-school.myshopify.com/

[@oldblood_eyes]

just bought one. hell yeah!

[@TheBootyWrangler]

Well fuck me man I legit just got into my vintage lighter addiction/obsession all started by an old zippo I bought off eBay. You got me brother. Well you got my wallet that is. Also just wanted to let you know adding a cigar to my hemp time on Friday nights before I head home has really done wonders for taking the stress of the week off my shoulders so that when I get home I’m very relaxed and capable of handling the craziness of being a young married father. It’s incredible how much of a relaxing effect the simple act has on the soul.

[@davidfoster5813]

Yeah I've been watching the videos when I can I've been real busy this summer I just wanted to say I love you guys and I'll try to get caught up LOL❤

[@ryanbelaus4000]

I don't need a lighter

[@SaarLeestMee]

Man huge collector i have some nice ones. Thanks for the tips ❤

[@hensen5309]

My gymnastics coach told me when I was young “even if you have the money, live like a pauper. Every time you want the milkshake, get the water. The milkshake will come later, for now the water is fine. I never really understood him until he was already passed away and I got a little older. Thank you for reminding me of the lessons that have kind of become sun faded from time. God bless everyone here.

[@davidm1149]

I learned later to drink the water, but lesson learned thank God.

[@LClaypool]

How's life man? The job? Got a new lady yet? Was reading my old comments and saw yours. Then saw you again in this thread. Hope your well man.

[@Phantom-ez4zv]

whats wrong with a milkshake, sometimes a milkshake you need more than water, if you are hungry for a fullday a milkshake is better option.

[@wat5513]

Handle/nick pic doesn't checkout =) =/.

[@chrisd5774]

Half good advice. Have the milkshake, just don't have five a day

[@horsehelping]

I'm a 17 year old girl i know that most of your videos are for young men but i have taken some of your advice and applied it to my life and it has helped me and a lot of different ways and i just wanted to thank you sir and god bless

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@rRekko]

That's okay, that's what happens when people get married too, we learn from each other a little bit and help each other. Also, a dad will usually give his own advice as a man to their kids, be it daughter or son, and a mom will give their advice as a woman to her kids too.

[@Thewindwhispers.]

Advice is advice. If it works it works. Meditation is good.

[@xoxoakouto]

Age doesn’t matter, sister! If this helps you. It helps you. :)

[@ayara8157]

Good for you sweetheart! I wish I came across a guy like this when I was your age. Live well and never stop learning!

[@inmyownstateofmind144]

"The man's ability to shrug and walk away is a man's greatest ability. "

[@Tama-d9k]

Can't beat the old school life lessons. Please keep making these videos!

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@WtmGamingVids]

I honestly think Dwayne has the best life advice. These videos always seem to pop up right as I'm going through stuff and the way he explains stuff is so helpful.

[@slowjamcdub]

That’s right!!!! Don’t NOT comply!!!!!!!! 💪🏻🇺🇸💪🏻🇺🇸💪🏻🇺🇸

[@ChrisSMurphy1]

@@slowjamcdubDon’t not comply? A reminder 1,000,000 plus Americans died of covid…a good reminder then fix your grammar

[@the_expidition427]

@@ChrisSMurphy1 That was going to happen either way I would let you know to fix punctuation except it would be petty to go over semantics

[@ruck27]

@@ChrisSMurphy1it’s been proven now, doing nothing and carrying on as normal would have done less damage then all the mandates. Like the Swiss. Cheers

[@AMZNFBA]

You go through stuff quite often I would say! maybe a therapist?

[@sawyer4981]

I learned a lot about needs vs wants when I got laid off during the pandemic. People's behavior since then has lead me to cut even more things out of my life. We're a lot more resilient than we think we are. You just have to not think about it.

[@thecapone45]

I am currently jobless (by choice) and it’s made me (as a single man with no wife and kids) rethink what even some of the well known financial advisors have said. You actually don’t need that much at all. I personally have my freezer and pantry stocked and because it’s just me, it’s lasted me all month and I’ve still got so much more. I don’t need $30,000 a year. I used to easily spend $1K-$4K a month depending on what I was doing (and that was me living cheap!) and since I stopped working I’ve spent less than $500.. There’s so much you learn you don’t need.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@Spliter546]

Wow! This is great advice

[@jakeplissken9991]

The most wholesome man on the internet. Salute, Dwayne!

[@imSincerePromise]

Stop

[@jakeplissken9991]

@@imSincerePromise K

[@imSincerePromise]

@@jakeplissken9991 thank you

[@AvaJane2302]

​@@imSincerePromise🤡

[@arlenecoury9976]

He reminds me of how the pioneers must have thought, BEFORE we became a modern civilization, and have basically "brain washed" into believing so much garbage.

[@xnetshadowx]

I'm a 46 year old man, on the road to recovery. I watch your videos just to hear your wisdom while I'm doing house chores or indulging in my hobby, and when you shoot something that resonates, I write it down in a journal to meditate on at a later point. This is such a breath of fresh air from today's podcasts and self proclaimed male gurus, I truly feel like a father figure is speaking to me, with the same tone as a elder brother and best friend. Thank you for the time you take to share your acquired wisdom with us, know that it is helping and motivating others, ty sir.

[@gregholland11]

Quick correction: on a plane your instructed to put your OWN mask on first, then help others. You need to make sure you’re safe before you try to help others. If you pass out from oxygen deprivation while putting a mask on your 2 kids, they probably won’t be able to save you. If you get your own mask on first, then you can put a mask on someone else even if they passed out

[@thecapone45]

I noticed the same thing. Yeah, I’ve never been on a plane but indeed you put your mask on first. Only then can you be certain that you’ll be able to help your children and not risk passing out and hope someone else can rescue your children.

[@ec1628]

Correct

[@JAMESLAFaette]

In a sense reality fits better to his statement as you need to put yourself in a situation where you don’t need before you can help others.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@OlSmokey304]

@learn2farm509 I'm gonna say you don't understand how hypoxia affects the body. nor how subtle and difficult it can be to recognize the symptoms before it's too late. kzbin.info/www/bejne/i3-WiGeaYpqFhtE&ab_channel=ChristopherCummings one of the more common symptoms is euphoria.

[@ChurlzVA]

I'm talking to an amazing girl right now, and I really needed this video. You're absolutely right. I'm doing my best to come off as not needy, but it's hard not to, since I've lived a long life without much affection. However, I'm really beginning to realize my self worth, and that came from within. I don't need a woman, but I want one.

[@allahalkareem8055]

How old are you OP?

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@windigo1592]

You didnt need this video you wanted it 👽

[@leiska661]

As a dude who has not had a father your vidoes help me to answer all those inner and deep questions. Thank you and all good to you and your family!

[@ShannonGreene1974]

I never had a dad growing up . I was in lots of group homes . You feel that spot. I learn so much from you I'm almost 50 and I have mental health issues that I have a hard time controlling. Thank you for feeling in that space . 🙏

[@più_lento_28_13]

Always a pleasure to listen to your wisdom Sir

[@slowjamcdub]

That’s right!!!! Don’t NOT comply!!!!!!!! 💪🏻🇺🇸💪🏻🇺🇸💪🏻🇺🇸

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@RebeccaSaysWords]

Speaking on behalf of a clan of Idaho mountain natives here - We love your videos! You put to words concepts that we hold tight and it’s nice to hear our values out loud. Thank you 😊

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@72dodge340]

How is it that you always talk about what has been on my mind lately? I needed this right now. Thank you.

[@slowjamcdub]

That’s right!!!! Don’t NOT comply!!!!!!!! 💪🏻🇺🇸💪🏻🇺🇸💪🏻🇺🇸

[@Stereostupid]

Me too,it must be from above!

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@cannibaljohnson.2409]

Growing up my family and I were poor. I watched them create businesses and become really successful. I never went and worked for them. I went out and found my own work. They got property out in the country and in the city. 4 bedroom houses new cars and such. And my parents came to my home one day and talked crap on my old beat up pick up truck and talked crap on my two bedroom trailer. And the whole time they were talking I realized something. They are so stressed out and far from who they really are. Ain't no big house nor fancy car can generate happiness. I love my job. And I love my house. And I especially remember where I came from. Happiness is simplicity in life. I got my own little ten acres down at the grand canyon. I could rent my tiny cabin out and it'd be booked every night all year round and I'd never have to work but it'd make me soft. Live simple. You'll find peace. Live complex. And life will be stressful. Thanks for talking with us boss.

[@turbocobra]

Good stuff duane, always love your content. I got the point but I think you got the example twisted up. Flight Attendants always state to put YOUR own mask on first, then help others. The point is similar to the one your making but slightly different. The concept is, take care of your own self, and when you do that, you will be in the best position to help others.

[@DryCreekWranglerSchool]

Now that you pointed out, you are 100% correct. I kind of got that twisted up there.

[@bennyc409]

​@@DryCreekWranglerSchooldoesn't spoil the message mate.

[@YawnGod]

Ahh, the cycle of helping continues.

[@SGTsam104]

I stumbled on your channel recently and I must say as a man in the UK. I have endless respect for you good sir. Sending love from the UK! Be safe and sound as always.

[@wildcycles1]

I am right in the middle of "shrugging and walking away" from a person who often called me friend, but chose behavior that showed me otherwise. As you said, it's not easy, it's not comfortable, but I had to make a decision. This is a great video once again. Thanks for the quality content and thought provoking subjects.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@persiusk]

I’m reluctant to say I *needed* this video. But it sure was good to hear. I used to always say I didn’t need a man to do nothing for me, and I didn’t. But seriously, once my husband and I separated I feel a huge void. It’s true, I didn’t need him. I’ve done what I had to do without him, but I want him back. I love him. I see what I said was true, I didn’t need him, I wanted him, and I still do. I’d like to not hurt, but I have lived with the pain. I have lived without a second income. I’ve lived without a coparent. I don’t like it. I’ve felt like I was dying without it, but I haven’t died. I’m supposed to learn something thru the pain. You sharing your insight helps. Thank you.

[@persiusk]

That part around 18 minutes, thank you for saying that as I’ve always agreed with the sentiment.

[@elysianfields1671]

You should be dependable, but never dependent. You should be needed by other people, but need them as little as possible.

[@berwynsigns4115]

Key word as little as possible. Not 0, that's impossible. We will always need others, because we aren't God.

[@slowjamcdub]

That’s right!!!! Don’t NOT comply!!!!!!!! 💪🏻🇺🇸💪🏻🇺🇸💪🏻🇺🇸

[@allahalkareem8055]

You are made in the IMAGE of God though, consider that.. @berwynsigns4115

[@jay2blessful06]

@@allahalkareem8055Ohh we forgot tht

[@smokingcrab2290]

Heres the thing though. When he said he doesn't need his wife. God designed male and female to meet one another's needs. God saw Adam was lonely so he took Adam's flesh and made a woman to fulfill his needs. We have a need for connecting. For sex. For love. Etc. So when you say you don't "need" anyone, you're lying to yourself and you will be miserable. You can't control others. But that doesn't stop you from having needs. And if the person you're with won't recognize your needs then maybe they don't really love you. You see, all relationships are about how you make watch other feel and what you do for each other. There are no one sided relationships that survive. That's called toxicity. Even economics proves this. Capitalism itself is literally the most popular system in the world because of the concept of "you scratch my back, I scratch yours". It's so sinple and easy. But the problem is typically you meet too many people who neglect you, so you think you're forced to adopt this mentality of "i dont need anyone". Okay tough guy. Be alone. Desire nothing. Don't care about anything or anyone. Don't ask for anything. Be miserable. I don't care. You do you.

[@Beshak123]

This is a concept I have struggled with my whole life because of some troubling childhood experiences. I've felt like I needed to please people and work hard to keep them, my whole life. I needed to hear this. It's very difficult to internalise and unlearn 26 years of conditioning but hopefully one day I get there. Thank you.

[@MudderShmucker]

In this age of smoke and mirrors, we “need” more positive role models like yourself to share great life advice that is very easy to understand. You’re doing god’s work Dewayne. Ten times more integral than dozens of these online personalities that I won’t even name. Thank you Dewayne.

[@graywolf6014]

Amen to that

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@TwoHandedSouthpawBowling]

God’s* with a capital G

[@lovejessica]

I love this channel. My father taught me similar values as what you share. I carry them through life today as a woman in my own way. It’s wonderful to find a gathering of humans from all walks of life who share these values. Thank you for walking the talk and sharing it with all of us, Dwayne.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@natestreeter6540]

I like this conversation. Wrestled with it most of my adult life as I watch my grandpa and uncles model exactly what you are saying. I do wonder if the shrinks are right though. A healthy human should go through 3 primary need stages : dependent, independent, and then interdependent. I think what I've realized is that my needs are the fuel for making others around me be their best. It's that atmosphere of interdependence that breeds the most wonderful thing: love. It can actually be selfish to not allow others to serve you, to not depend on them.

[@StrayCatOrwell]

@natestreeter4560, unless bitter experience has taught you otherwise.

[@milhouse8166]

Makes sense. Everyone likes to feel needed from time to time. It adds to our purpose.

[@kristycook6041]

@@StrayCatOrwell So true my friend And yet so false at the same time I suppose the choice of love and hate can take up the same residence However, there's something about choice; about making decisions, that, somehow, proves to be a different outcome. Bitterness will wash away all the good within you... Little by little...'till you can scarce find yourself It's like a cancer that eats away all that you hold dear. I suppose you will probably be just Fine Stray Cat Nobody else has to comprehend your pain; Nobody else has to give you permission or approval to rise above your pain There are bitter experiences in life Many in fact But you got this baby You got this Don't you ever give up And don't you ever give up on yourself.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@raularmas1719]

And how can a person tell whether or not they are thinking or acting independently? My answer: Don't always do as expected. If you have been doing as expected are you truly living your own life or are you being "lived" and actually living out other people's choices?

[@pvtruestmusic]

Wow man

[@IntegrityHorizon]

Dwayne you are the man. Not to be too tender but I can see the life you've lived in your eyes alone. The wisdom you speak can only come from experience and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your message. I know you don't always like to "tread muddy water" as you call it but men everywhere (and women) need to hear it. I always look forward to a new video even though I'm not a horseman and probably never will be. Your message always rings true and comes at the perfect time. You are in touch and in tune with the world we live in today and I can't thank you enough for all that you do not only for me, but for all the young men out there that need a message like the one you deliver. Thank you sir and God bless.

[@leighfowler8973]

Dwayne, I find myself at a crossroads in life. The lady I love is either going to drive 16 hours to come and be with me and hopefully start a life together, or she's going to the other side of the country to forge her own path. The not knowing has created a tense sense of need for me and I was almost at the point of acting out in some foolish way; but this video stopped me in my tracks and put me back on my true path. Thank you so much for staying true to yours. With great respect, Leigh.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@leighfowler8973]

Update: She's not going over East and it's planning a trip up to see me. So glad I stayed true!

[@raresmitrea1137]

@@leighfowler8973Update ?

[@conundrum2u]

The semantics of want and need don't hit home until you've lost someone that you've dedicated your entire life with/to. Men, a lot of the time, don't know we needed someone in our lives until they're gone. It's sad that people these days say "I don't need a man" or a woman. Of course you can exist as a person without someone. That's being an adult. There's also a difference between healthy and unhealthy attachment. You can want someone to be in your life and that's great, but true companionship means you've crossed that line from optional co-habitation to being intertwined on a spiritual or psychological level. That's when you make each other better than who you are as individuals. Need isn't an ugly word, it should be an expression of commitment.

[@johnprice867]

Agreed!

[@DryCreekWranglerSchool]

@PeterGoesINya Dewayne understands perfectly what is coming out of his mouth. Dewayne also recognizes a pseudo pop-psychologist who is happy to get online and give a frivolous pop diagnosis of someone that they do not even know. Something a knowledgeable pro would never do.

[@BoldJonathan]

@@DryCreekWranglerSchool amen and amen I say! Tell Dewayne us guys in Brooklyn and New York got his back! Thank you and your family for taking the time to invest in us. God bless you all!

[@RileyPatterson-bf8ge]

I wouldn't say that man & woman being intertwined is "frivolous" lol. It's in the bible. You should treat your fans better. People are allowed to debate you and have their own opinions unless you wanna block everyone or turn off your comments.

[@conundrum2u]

@@RileyPatterson-bf8ge to be fair, they were responding to someone who deleted a comment that did come across as being a bit of a snap judgment/critical of Dewayne. I find Dwayne's commentaries to be thought provoking even if I don't agree 100%

[@JayN4GO]

I’m 42 and just now getting it. Sorry it took so long but many others it takes much longer. I enjoy being needed with no return favors in mind. It makes me feel like an honest man.

[@smokingcrab2290]

It makes you feel like a provider. But here's the thing. If you want to be "needed" then all you end up doing is molding yourself to everyone else's desires while you condemn yourself as "needy" foe having your own.

[@mingus444_gaming]

@@smokingcrab2290 No

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM

[@vwhitephotography]

Dwayne, as a young Christian woman in this difficult and confusing modern culture and time, I just want you to know how much your videos mean to me and how much listening to you gives me encouragement and the strength to keep moving forward. Thank you for doing what you're doing and for remaining strong in the midst of chaos. God bless!

[@lorio8187]

Totally in agreement with this. These talks not only help men but women also. By the way I also love watching your wife. You two are so down to earth and real. I appreciate it!

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@joshvaughn8364]

This video was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you Dwayne for everything you do

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@zonefreakman]

I needed this video today Dwayne. I've been trying to put myself together as a man one step at a time. Tonight I thought that I was going on a date with a woman. This would have been my first date. I felt quite a bit of anxious in anticipation for it. But tonight when we agreed the date would be she didn't show up. I messaged her and nothing. As a young man trying to put himself together, being really unsure of himself, afraid to be hopeful that things will turn out for the better, it does feel like I'm a fool. But thinking that I don't need her, that I only wanted her gives me a little perspective.

[@junesonnier6495]

Try not to take it too hard. Easy for me to say. But when one door closes ,another one will open. Something that is meant to come your way will come , God bless you child

[@americafirst9144]

Perhaps it was just a mixup. Try not to internalize it. You sound like a fine man.

[@magnang]

Dating as a young man is the pits. Work on yourself and be patient and don't be focused just on dating. The table is tilted towards older men who are well established.. nothing personal and there is nothing you can do to change it. Get your stuff, careeer and fitness together.. when you get to your late 20s early 30s you'll be swimming in it.

[@walkingrace1233]

Her ghosting you showed you who she is. It's a character flaw and you dodged a bullet. When someone tells you who they are (actions speak louder than words), believe them..

[@mattiej2311]

Don’t worry about it. I also recently just got ghosted by someone who expressed wanting to go on a second date with me. Be thankful that you didn’t invest more of your time into her.

[@darkknightt126]

Congratulations with your daughter getting married Sir. And thank you for sharing the life advance and 'wisdom'. It's kind of a therapy to listen to you.

[@allahalkareem8055]

The law of equivalent exchange is that you have to sacrifice someth8ng of equal value to obtain what you desire @darkknightt126

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@metalyogawithsteph]

Need = necessity. Want = passion/desire. Easy way to boil it down. Love this+

[@Shadow298460]

I'm 22 years old about to be 23, with no education and still living in South Texas, your wise insight has helped me through this year time and time again. I really appreciate you and hope your travels go well and are safe.

[@hassanleruk8451]

hey shadow i would like to talk to you

[@lizzi437]

You probably have better learning than many who receive a "higher"education.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@Paintedstoriesarefun]

Brother, Christ has never been anywhere else, but inside of you. Inside of all everything. I learner this reality directly. There's no need to believe a damn thing. Thanks for your wisdom

[@DaveLeary1]

I really needed to hear this message, Dewayne, been pulling myself out of a rough patch these last few months and I welcomed these words of encouragement... Keep up the good work

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@PoppyHerbert-t5r]

Thanks Dwayne. Shared again with the guy who thinks he is not needed or wanted😊❤❤

[@truth3598]

My Dad would always say that these people are buying more house than they need. He was right and you are too. Bought a shirt, keep up your segments. Like my Dad, you're a dying breed.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM

[@jamesturns-jk2wm]

Thank you for spending time with us on here. You are so appreciated and loved . You are true.

[@mattf3238]

Dwayne. Thank you again for sharing your wisdom. I get 100% what you are saying about helping the needy. I struggle with the ones that think they are needy but, in reality, won't pick up a paddle to steer their own ship. That is one of the true epidemics of today's society. The endless victim.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@golfendeavor8267]

Thanks for the wise words. Agree with the first part but not so much with the oxygen mask comparison. As far I remember on the plane they tell you to “put your oxygen mask on first,” before helping others. Why is this an important rule for ensuring survival? Because if you run out of oxygen yourself, you can’t help anyone else with their oxygen mask. I take same rule in life, make sure you are functioning well before helping others. I have a family and while I ensure to take care of my wife and son, I also make sure to take time for me when I need it to recharge my batteries and 20:11 so I can be fit and mentally strong and be there for others. People will take advantage of you if they see you are selfless so this can become dangerous. So give (time, help, money) when you want to, not because you feel obligated.

[@dalefullenkamp8001]

I’ve been learning a lot the past couple months about being needed vs being needy. I’ve lost some “friends” along the way that once I realized they were just needing me and I changed my ways I haven’t heard from them. It takes so much patience but I really believe I’m becoming the man I’m supposed to be. It can be lonely being by yourself too but when I look at what I’ve accomplished on my own I think it’s just preparing me for the relationship God has in store for me.

[@gClover61]

W

[@fordykid5296]

In the same boat. It does get lonely but I've never had more self esteem and self-love then ever before

[@smokingcrab2290]

Yeah well if you don't need anyone then why seek a relationship at all?

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@gunfighterdrummer]

Never had a father growing up, but an old man I did some farm work for once told me “Live your life, and find your balance.”…. We all have our unique balance to find, and our life to live.

[@coreyperkins2493]

This goes so deep and is such a valuable lesson to learn. As I have aged I have started to see the power of need vs want. I got my first taste of this when my spouse left for another guy. I went home to my family and after a few days I walked back to my house in the pouring rain. When I got to my home and walked in the door soaking wet there was something different about me. I felt what I needed, which was a place to rest, and I had let go of needing or wanting her. I cried at times but I let go at that point. My next relationship did not work out but it was so much easier to let it go because I didn't need it anymore, it was a luxury at best. I still feel like I have a long way to go on this road but the foundation for applying rhe learning is there now. And I am thankful for it.

[@BoldJonathan]

Keep strong and have fun. Brother I know full well the feeling as well. But there are some really good Woman out there. I would not like when Dewayne would say "have fun." But his wisdom is similar to my own Father whom is close to 70. It is important to be balanced and have fun. I now do fun things. Long as it does not hurt nobody. I am actually taking up dance lessons soon. I rode a motorcycle in a South American country with my shirt open. I did pullups at a foreign beach. I want to get into airgliding to conquer my fear of heights. Brother, as Men, I am learning to live a full life so when God bless me to find a good wife, she will become a part of my wants. Idk if that helped but Mr Dewayne and his folks got me fired up to be more Godly and stuff.

[@coreyperkins2493]

@@BoldJonathan thanks brother, I appreciate you for sharing that! 💪

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM

[@kathypileggi7650]

Thank you Dwayne for meaningful deep insights and encouragement

[@lilyk25005]

“The ability to shrug and walk away, is a man’s greatest ability.”

[@dylanpicard6528]

The best advice I’ve ever gotten has always ever been from older men in my life and there’s a reason for that. They’ve had the time to go through it all and take the time to genuinely understand and appreciate everything that had came there way. This was another great one Dwayne ❤

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM

[@yanceymcdonald6017]

I’ve been struggling with a situation with my mother. She he mistreated me in many ways and attempted to turn me on my father. Now I have a son who she pretends to care about on the internet, but in reality shows no interest in. She’s seen him 9-10 times and he’s almost 4. (She lives less than 15 minutes away) So at least 6 of those times were his birthdays and Christmas. Long story short, I decided a few months ago to do exactly what you said in this video. Just shrug my shoulders and walk away. It did hurt at first, but it has given me the stability and peace that I wanted in my families life. Listening to this video reassured me that I have taken the right path, thank you very much Mr. Dwayne!

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM now!!!

[@cadetcadet1814]

As a Messianic Believer I truly appreciate your sincerity and honesty when it comes to the American Christian church! The devil has twisted theology so much that the men of today look nothing like the men of scripture. As a former corrections officer, police officer, and military officer your words are spot on for young men. Keep up the good work!

[@gianlucapleitez777]

my mind was running really hard and honestly u said exactly what i needed to hear at the moment and i realized how needy it is to allow someone’s words to ruin your entire mood i didn’t even realize i could just let go, thank you im not sure if that made much sense but im very grateful for this video

[@Danthecameraman_]

Dewayne, you're a wise man preaching the gospel to build a better life for all men and women out there. God bless and thanks for the great videos

[@stevenfoulger6066]

Not saying that I necessarily disagree with Dewayne. He has many words of earthly wisdom, but that's not the "Gospel".

[@Danthecameraman_]

@@stevenfoulger6066My poor wording, didn't mean a literal gospel. His videos have helped a bunch so I was treating from a personal background. All the best.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@JJhustles]

This is why, I get to be more comfortable with people who are very very much older than me who is religious and traditional because people such as like you aren’t living or telling any facade just straight up life learning experiences . Thank you somehow when I watch it I feel the genuine and truthfulness out of it same as reading the bible.

[@chelseav8311]

I needed to hear this as a woman. I'm a Christian but a weak one, battling neediness and other spiritual battles. God is merciful and I need to be kept by him and I want Him to change me. He's working. 🙏🏻

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM

[@TeleKuk1]

16:00 It is actually the other way around. The recommendation in the airplane is to put the oxygen mask on first, before on the children, because we could pass out first and then be unable to help the children. We need more oxygen then the children and we could pass out before we could help.

[@oliviamarcum3569]

This was deep and felt this in my soul. Great message and we need more of this for our youth. 🔥

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@Selah1141]

I'm so tired of being "needed." I need, and want to be wanted. Your message is spot on!

[@oliverpickering5066]

A lot of this video really hit home for me, especially being able to voice that difference between needing and wanting someone. It can be challenging to explain that difference to other people in my life because when someone hears "I don't need, but I do want you" they automatically go into a defensive mode. Nowadays, I try to leave those words (need and want) out entirely and instead say "you are an important part of my life that I'd rather not live without". I think my wife and friends can appreciate that a lot more and I can too. Unfortunately, the airplane story didn't make as much sense to me because the actual rules of the oxygen masks are: “Should an emergency situation occur, you need to put your own oxygen mask on first, before attempting to help those around you.” However, I did understand the general message: Don't be so independent and self-serving that you become a narcissist who only cares for yourself. Thanks again for the awesome video!

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM

[@juicebox8560]

I listen to these talks you give every day after work. It puts me in a good mind set and helps me relax after the hustle and bustle of the day. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom on this platform.

[@harshalthapa69]

I really wish to meet people like you in real life as I can’t imagine the amount of knowledge and wisdom I’d be grasping hanging out with people like you. I’m just 17 years old a young fella from India but I really find your advices fascinating and I love to see your videos as I want to make myself better and you my sir is really playing a major part in that.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@piratadali7385]

The talks I’ve always needed and never had. Thanks viejon

[@teeszu]

Needed this video thank you. Recently I’ve lost my job and had to support my family off of 1000/mo doing landscaping with my father. It’s been many times I’ve had to reach out to other family members for financial help. I feel needy, yet needed.

[@infamousnicone]

I’m in the same position buddy

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@Guitargate]

What a phenomenal message Duane. So true and timely for me. Cheers my friend and enjoy that Padron

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM now!!!

[@en3356]

Thank you, very few people really understand difference between “need” and “want” in relationships.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM

[@antoniompieri]

Dwayne, I want to express my sincere gratitude for your uplifting words. They've truly brightened my day. Sending warm greetings all the way from Brazil!

[@StNickolas]

16:40- actually opposite, put mask first on yourself, than help passanger(kid) .

[@opsHPC]

Warning for headphone users @ 11:08 into the video, do you really NEED to pause it and rewind the video just make sure a fly is not buzzing around you? Think about it…

[@Howdilydoodely]

Boy did this video find me at the right time. Thank you Duane 🙏🏽

[@hilly7645]

Same here !

[@_l__86]

bull's eye

[@ruck27]

They usually do somehow.

[@slowjamcdub]

That’s right!!!! Don’t NOT comply!!!!!!!! 💪🏻🇺🇸💪🏻🇺🇸💪🏻🇺🇸

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@evansilva3045]

I’m so glad I can come to your videos for wisdom and direction in this increasingly unwise and directionless world. 22yrs old from central Ontario

[@samelbamel3500]

"We quietly, self-assuredly take care of ourselves. And we humbly, graciously, gently take care of those around us who need to be taken care of." That is honestly the most noble and masculine thing I think I've heard in my life. This is worth meditating on. In fact it's worth adopting as a mantra of masculinity. Thank you Dwayne. All the best to you and yours.

[@plaguepandemic5651]

20 minute long video and I happen to scroll past your comment at the instant he said this quote, what are the odds of that?

[@geraldogoko3494]

All the way from Nigeria, I love you Sir! Been listening to you for the last year and your words are really comforting and uplifting. God bless you.

[@Braica8]

You are the realest mf I've ever listened too. It's crazy how you always put how I feel perfectly into words. Thank you for the mental Freedom man, I'm so grateful for this channel

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM

[@therealloose]

I don't mean to be pedantic, but flight attendants instruct passengers to put their own masks on first before helping a child or an elderly person, in the case of an emergency. @16:20

[@michaelsiemering513]

Great advice Dewayne, hopefully someone will hear this, I'm older than you, a much needed message from what I see. Also you are correct about people in the Church, we need to understand what Jesus said about helping people. Thank you again

[@JustinSokolow]

I’m with you most of the way on your distillation of stoic life philosophy. One critical component that’s missing though is gratitude. You grazed this briefly on saying you “want (not need)” your wife because she presumably enriches your life. We only find meaning and purpose in life when we feel a deep sense of gratitude for those we have in our life and we don’t take those we care about around us for granted. The Japanese have a great expression for showing gratitude before eating meals; Itadakimasu, which acknowledges all the people/things necessary to have put that food before you. A life without gratitude is a life without humility. A life without cooperation and community would be a Hobbesian nightmare: short and brutal. Self dependence must be balanced with gratitude. The cognitive ability to weather hardship and pain through self dependence frees us to experience the joy of having others to enrich our lives. Love your channel.

[@BINGBONGHOWYADOIN]

I rememeber typing in things like 'Advice from a Father' and 'Fatherless sons advice' and coming across your channel. So many of us out there that need a deep chat with a good proper man at least once a week for 20-60 minutes. If every young man adopted this in their life things would be a little clearer and smoother on the road ahead. Thank you Dewayne

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@lauraalbertson7821]

I feel the same way . However, Now at 70, I realized there are not many who agree . Just as you said, We are told we have to need someone to be complete . Thank you for clearing up where that need is coming from . It’s selfish and puts a heavy burden on that other person. And as far as JESUS feels about it , I’m pretty sure He agrees with you too 👍🏼 Protect and Serve . 🕊🇺🇸🙏 You and Mamma have my support and friendship without conditions. Laura 💜🐴Bear 💜

[@smokingcrab2290]

If we don't need anyone then why have any relationships at all? Cut the shit dude

[@abbalabajabalaba7732]

Thank you so much, genuinely. This really helped solidify some bits and pieces floating about my mind.

[@jakewellard1368]

As ironic as this is I really 'needed' to hear this aha. I kind of relied emotionally a lot on my ex and am struggling a lot to get over been a couple of weeks and am still trying to work out what to do with my free hours and where to turn when I feel lonely or am emotionally struggling

[@christopheralcantara1479]

I just started watching some of your videos and I want to thank you. I have been struggling really hard the last few years. They have been the worst of my life and I honestly I’m thankful for your wisdom it is helping me more than anything has the last few years.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM

[@paperbackwriter...]

Dwayne have you done a video on the feeling of loneliness but not actually being alone. What i mean is having lots of people around you but you still feel alone. Since it's something i'd like to learn about for personal experiences. Thank you and this is an amazing video have a nice day and god bless. :)

[@SamStone1964]

​@TexianTraderNarcissists are terrible. Not women. Not men.

[@andrewrodriguez111]

I don't know anything about horses or ranch life; I'm from the city, NYC to be specific. I love the wisdom and logical no-nonsense talk you share with your viewers Dewayne. The advice is right on time for the world men have to live in today; but also, for myself and my life at this time too. Thank you.

[@hardluk3]

I don’t fly much, but every time I fly they tell you to put your own mask on first then help put the mask on others. The idea being that if you run out of oxygen then you can’t help anyone. I’m not saying I wouldn’t help my neighbor first, but that’s what they recommend.

[@scatman8963]

yessir, but his point is sound

[@KingYeg]

Dwayne got a bit backwards on that point. His point actually resonates with what is said. Basically have your shit in order so you can help others out.

[@joelyons8238]

Thank you for sharing Dewayne. God bless you.

[@jeremy9698]

Great points! Especially your points about the church. Thank you. Keep up your encouraging messages.

[@ge9367]

Congratulations on your daughter wedding when it comes. You should give this speech at the wedding too.

[@jakechapman3161]

Uncle Dwayne you never fail to give meaningful advice. I would never listen to any therapist period end of story. But listening to just a man who’s A got my utmost respect and B isn’t just telling me what I want to hear for a pay check. Thank you Dwayne you are the most useful tool/ guide that I’ve found. You seem to pop up at just the right time and seem to say just the right thing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on life in general. Your advice has helped me immensely. Thank you.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

When you don’t have debt, you have options

[@JuiceStainded]

I really appreciate that you have set up this KZbin channel to share your thoughts and wisdom with us. I found your channel in the midst of a really hard time in my life, and having access to your words of wisdom has been really helpful at keeping me grounded and focused. I have learned a lot of really valauble things from you, and you speak in a way that makes me feel like I can really take these lessons and see places I can apply them in my own life. I'm still going through hard times, but thanks in part to all the good things I've seen here, I think I'm managing things much better. Thank you for taking the time to share your words with us, Dewayne. They really help.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD

[@lygcdr675]

Good afternoon Dwayne

[@thepupil1013]

I watched this a few days ago and I didn't quite get it. Today I spent my birthday making it awesome for everybody else and it clicked, people weren't spoiling me but celebrating me. All was genuine and satisfying. I enjoy being useful and reliable.

[@linuslam80s]

Congratulations on your daughter’s wedding :) 0:33

[@skiddychops3798]

So much of what you say resonates with me and I just want to say thank you for your words. I am a 44 year old male and you could say I am going through some kind of transition right now, a stripping back of things, ideas, old behaviours. It feels like a life long journey and I have a long way to go but grateful and glad to be heading there.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM

[@mathewtenezaca1013]

I dont need your merch, I want it

[@itsoktobewhite6377]

Dewayne, lots of wisdom here (as usual), so thanks for another good vid. I do think there's a lot of nuance that's lost when it comes to relationships. I agree that being desperate (aka needy) to be in ANY relationship is day-and-night difference to being in a relationship with someone you WANT (if you're fortunate to find that person). But there's a lot to be said about our fundamental human NEED for connection, be it friends, family, or the romantic partner. There's a NEED for affection, a NEED for belonging, a NEED for knowing others and being known, etc. Some of us aren't so lucky and have no one to turn to, and hearing someone else deny that we even have these needs or that they "aren't needs" , can feel very devaluing and dehumanizing. Not saying at all that you meant it that way, and again I do agree with most of what you said. Just pointing out that there's another angle on this. On a different note, thank you for calling out the church/Christians for their bullsh*t, boilerplate, intellectually lazy lip service about "all you need is Jesus". Truly, thank you. It's so refreshing to hear someone else express what I've been feeling for years when it comes to interacting with people at church.

[@johanneshartman4618]

choose JESUS CHRIST and REJECT the WORLD so come to HIM

[@jamesferenczy2185]

Great video as always, the only thing I have to say is that the message from flight attendants prior to taking off is to put YOUR mask on first before helping others, and I actually think that’s a better metaphor for Dewayne’s message, before you can genuinely and authentically be there for someone else, you have to be ok in and of yourself.

[@TeamIdiotkjoring]

Yes, you are right. Good point!

[@Rony-azad]

maaan ı reaaally respect this guy,he s more closer to me than my father or family.god bless you sir hope to see you one day

[@charlescollins8385]

A lot of folks these days can’t handle “plain talk” but it’s much needed. Thanks for the wisdom and advice. ❤

[@smokingcrab2290]

It's a bullshit cope. People need each other. Otherwise relationships would not exist period. This is just pseudo stoic cowboy horseshit. For this guy to say "he does not need his wife" well why tf did he get married? Lol marriage is a damn headache. So for someone who doesn't "need" his wife, he sure signed his life away to misery.