Dumper Dumpee Value Switch (Podcast 404)

After a breakup, what value does a dumper and dumpee have? When and how can this value switch between the dumper and dumpee? This information can help you try and get your ex back after a breakup.
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[@The_Darrell]

If an ex knew how much pain you were going through after a breakup, and she ignored you, and wouldn't respond to you if you were trying to fix things... that's not love. In my opinion, that's not a person you should be going back to... relationships need two-way communication and respect to work. If one partner is too immature to respond, then good riddance.

[@ericgeorge6564]

Truer words I have never heard! Very powerful message what u have said. If they did not value you and the relationship enough to try and patch things up then it is too bad for them. You key is to see your own value and once you realize it, you are in the driver's seat, so to speak because you will not "settle/" for less. This will put you in position of choice now, and no longer in an uncertain position.

[@robtav9081]

0

[@jorgeriera3337]

Excellent words so powerful. My ex after she left she breadcrumb me and used me like an ATM for a month. Until one I told her enough " IF YOU LOVE ME THEN PLEASE BLOCK ME" so she did. Never heard from her again Keep in mind 3 year relationship 3 boys I stepped up to be a father figure I paid for bills and helped her refinance her house Helped her get a new car Vacations And took care of the house But I'm the bad guy go figure.

[@mysterio5837]

That what you an egotistic and selfish person. Karma is out for those who feel no remorse

[@summersunrise.9518]

I agree

[@paulsell2438]

My ex is learning that the excess period of multiple one night stands isn't very rewarding...no one wants them for more than a single night of commitment free sex. I've leveled up big time, she isn't in my league anymore. This video is so spot on.

[@TimStJohn-xp8rv]

When my ex sent the text of the break up! My only response was ok! She is a fearful avoidant! In the past when she has broken up with me, I begged and pleaded. Over time she has always come back! Now I am in week three of no contact and was seeing a counselor before all of this came up! I do believe that counseling gave me the strength to accept it! Instead of looking weak in the past!

[@Borninit384]

update? and what are the reasons she breaks up?

[@andziagreen4922]

Well done😊👏

[@maddena977]

My ex knew what he was doing. He moved on a month and 3 days after the breakup. He won't apologize for his actions. He is very heartless. We will never talk again and I have accepted this fact.

[@MadeInTheStruggleProgram]

Forget his ass _ you will find a good man!!

[@mysterio5837]

Don't worry karma is out there to backstab that loser

[@kumarshubham876]

My dumper is not gonna reflect … because she is a Narc .. and that’s the saddest part… but today I delete her number

[@georgespangler1517]

And because they hurt and left you it will haunt them forever and karma will see too that.

[@AngelofHogwarts]

We cannot force anybody to be with us or love us. It's always a choice. So while rejection and getting dumped may hurt, they are well within their right to do that. However, disrespect and cruelty is not okay. If they leave without an explanation or even notice...that's extremely painful, traumatic, and dehumanizing. They are in the wrong at that point.

[@Eatmeatthereforeiam]

Married for 10 years with a 3 and 10 year old. She moved out a month after telling me she didn't want to work on it. I was devastated because I thought we were just going through a tough time and were talking about the future every week, but I was at a very low point in my career. She took advantage and left me at my lowest point. I'm doing much better 5 months later but still a little upset. I have forgiven her and been growing every day.

[@vincentbos]

Thanks Matthew for your comment. You have gone through a very tough time, but you are now starting to feel a little better and that is wonderful to hear. Keep moving forward.

[@menslifelessons9981]

Don’t give up! Keep improving in every aspect brotha!

[@MadeInTheStruggleProgram]

You dont need her!! You are an amazing man!!

[@jorgeriera3337]

Stay strong keep striving for better be the best father to your boys show her you are better then her. By just being person working hard getting your life back together believe me how the dating is today it will be very hard to find someone like you. Good luck never look back

[@tysonpadilla8406]

Absolutely amazing video screw All the other ones I’m telling you you are one of the best there is out there. Thank you for these videos I can tell you put your energy into these

[@vincentbos]

Thank you Tyson for your kind words. How are you feeling today?

[@RainMaker0602]

10:24 "I'm not God's gift..." I laughed too hard. I apologise.

[@vincentbos]

Haha :)

[@wilfridjoseph6172]

Was very funny for true

[@scorpiostinger2890]

Haha. That should crush the dumper who always assumes he/she is so closed to God.

[@Pearlangeldream]

Value switch like a value meal. I ❤ ur voice & ur style. The ending is cute.

[@vincentbos]

Thank you 🙂

[@MadeInTheStruggleProgram]

You are saving lives MR BOS 💯💯💯

[@uknodavibe2756]

Just focus on yourself the right one will always be there for you just a matter of time till you meet

[@happysunday3641]

I was dumped,18 months in. He dumped me for a woman 18 years younger; 1 week into their official relationship, he's freaking out because he's dismissive avoidant and she's anxious preoccupied with PTSD. He can't handle her demands and neediness. I don't know what to expect with their relationship but the first few days of lust have certainly turned into hard work for both of them in record time. I already don't want him back.

[@adamdanmusic]

How do you know all of this inside info of their relationship?

[@adamdanmusic]

I love this guy. Extremely well spoken and insightful.

[@vincentbos]

Thank you kind sir 🙂

[@norswil8763]

Problem with this is that my ex is smoking hot and has a personality and fun vibe to match, she could literally attract any guy she wanted and naturally does. I was never jealous in the relationship, but now it’s a terrible thought. We ended it well, No contact(not strict, but enough that she’s said she misses chatting) for a month and a half, with a few messages and a face to face chat. We’ve both taken accountability of mistakes and behaviours, empathised and been good in each other’s company. Had a dinner and drinks at a mutual friend’s last night and I could see attraction in her eyes, lot’s of held looks… so my hopes have come back up. She said I seemed really good and that she’s still “up and down”.

[@andziagreen4922]

Brilliant and very valuable explanation dumper dumpee dynamics 👏thank you. Just after only watching I feel better about myself. It's 12 months and he never texted. I accepted his absence and working on myself but there are still days I think of him.

[@annaisma1862]

So sad I found this channel late but I find it so helpful 😉

[@vincentbos]

Thank you Anna. How are you feeling today?

[@annaisma1862]

@@vincentbos am so fine bro , just after 3 months my ex is asking my family about me🤣 so this video made more clarity

[@franciskoomson7312]

The Coach's voice alone is very assuring and comforting. He doesn’t rush to but speak as if he is talking to you physically. This coach is so amazing.

[@marcuswilliams467]

Unfortunately I am the one who has been dumped and I just feel like a piece if shit. I gone to the gym, picked up new hobbies done all the things you should do to focus on yourself and it's hard asf. But I will continue. The only way is up I guess.

[@juanventura5692]

This is what im going through right now. I cant believe she turned on me when in needed her the most...

[@maddena977]

I needed my ex too when I was dealing with some hard shit. He broke it off and now he is with someone new.

[@dennisporter-avis7576]

yep I'm going through the same thing

[@siggismalls6269]

My Ex started sleeping arround and tried to come back multiple times now... This Video is spot on

[@btstakescareofmewhenimsick4892]

Unfortunately, my ex is very attractive 😔

[@slimjim1104]

Ya well unless you find out the dumper is a cheating monkey brancher

[@carolynclem5462]

You know It came to me and this is my last words to my man. You know I always thought you'd always love me, guess I was wrong guess it was best for us to move on, I recon nair one of us was wrong to move on!! You have always held the key, I guess it's lost and never to be found!!!!

[@vincentbos]

Hi Carolyn thanks for sharing your story. May I ask how old you and your ex are? How far do you live from your ex now?

[@carolynclem5462]

@@vincentbos I'm 49 and he is 68 and live about 15 miles from him.

[@briteidea08]

What if they are a dismissive avoidant??

[@ericgeorge6564]

Great video! Thank you Vincent for this powerful inspirational video, which is so true. A dumper must focus on rebuilding their self esteem and confidence which is more important than wanting an nex back. You need to validate YOURSELF first and that happens when you start to pull yourself out of the ashes. That happens when you get out of your negative thinking and move about in the world and do different activities and socialize. The more you do it the more your confidence and self esteem will return. Then if your ex comes back you will be in a mindset of strength instead of weakness and you will be able to make decisions of what is best for YOU!!!!!!! I want to play this video over and over again, like a mantra because it is a great tonic for recovery!!!!!

[@dbassayhot]

P0😊0

[@leebennett294]

Thanks for the video 👏

[@lioncross1849]

Crazy unlucky that my girl found a guy within 2 weeks of the breakup that actually wants to be with her!!

[@emmacorcoran3856]

Same exact thing here

[@Lindz0928]

are they still with them??

[@MalcolmWong]

It does make sense 💙

[@vincentbos]

Thank you Malcolm :)

[@lycan4377]

Where is the collection plate?

[@liltin8476]

Hey vincent, do you think you can make a video where the dumper is in a rebound but still contacts the dumpee?

[@Himothy_xx]

Dumper goes thru a phase just like the dumpee dumpees hurt first dumper hurts last. Rebound or not.

[@danscott2059]

Happening to me right now--Arg!!!

[@liltin8476]

@@danscott2059 same. I try to tell her to not contact me unless she’s single so i can continue my no contact journey but im not trying to just ignore her but i also dont wanna feel like a option/ backup its really messing with my head :/. Also idk if us txting while shes in this rebound is going to help her move on but at the same time i feel like if i dont respond she will move on because she thinks im uninterested.

[@scottywarren3498]

I would like to know because I was the dumpee and it's been about 5 months and she is already with another guy if she wasn't seeing or at least talking to him while we were still together she is even moving in with him her and her youngest son I am curious do you really think that the dumper my ex-girlfriend do you think that she still keeps tabs on me because everything seems to be going right in her life I'm just curious to know if you would actually think she would still think of me or miss me even though it was a bad breakup and she did show narcissistic personality any and all comments are welcome thank you

[@jorgeriera3337]

No offense it she is moving in with a new guy move on with your life

[@callmeishmaelk767]

Casual dumper/player types dump people over stupid superficial shit like your fork clicked on your teeth while eating. The only times I dumped someone is because they had serious life or character flaws that were clearly going to be a HUGE issue going forward.

[@parisam7659]

What if i was the person my ex monkey branched to (without me knowing until further into the relationship). My relationship was very intense but only 7months, will he reconsider our relationship?

[@craigstephens1344]

My goodness mate I thought I was in church lol.excellant content

[@vincentbos]

Thank you Craig :)

[@Questioneverything72]

Dom, Dom, Dompee, Domi Domi Domi Dompey Dompee Dompee Dompee yay! Dompey Dompey Nay! Laa, la , Blah Blah Blah boom. Bim bam Dompey Dompey boom 🧨💥

[@taterflaps475]

Good insight, good video.

[@vincentbos]

Glad it was helpful!

[@isaachayes21]

100%. God bless you.

[@rvrnt196]

Great! Thank you❤️

[@hannamanalo7665]

Thank u so much sir God bless

[@inserter400]

COULD REALLY DO WITH ALIVE STREAM BOSS

[@vincentbos]

I hope I can so one soon :)

[@inserter400]

IS THIS DIFFERENT FORMEN AND WOMEN ?

[@vincentbos]

I believe it's similar

[@phyllisorlino]

Hi Vincent.Ex confessed he talked to someone for over a month when he was convinced our relationship wont work .He’s telling me to they stop talking but sometimes the girl would chat him.He feels horrible on how he treated me and he cannot live a lie .When I wanted to to forgive him(bc I’m not perfect either I had mistakes too)but I felt like he was pushing me like he cannot understand why I’d still forgive him and when I told him the next day that we will talk about it he said he cannot and he said I deserve someone so so better and he said he doesn’t deserve anyone he deserves to be alone and deserves to die?and then he said it’s over.Also he deleted his instagram(the only platform we communicate).He left his number and email but I deleted on our chat thread so I won’t be tempted to reach him.Also we’re on and off relationship .I dunno if this is really the last?

[@vincentbos]

Hi Phyllis, we never know when the 'story ends' between two people. There is always a chance you could be in the later chapters of each other's life story.

[@phyllisorlino]

@@vincentbos hi vincent. So i was contemplating of sending him a message today on his email stating him that i miss him hahha! I know that i shall not break no contact so i tried to stop myself really but it’s really hard tbh 🥺hehe then there’s guy who i met online who seems interested to me so that had stopped me from sending msg to my ex 😂hahah! Like maybe i can send it later or never? What to do Vincent? 😅like im distracted with someone new now 🥺haha

[@michaelandersen5821]

@@phyllisorlino here i what you do, nothing. Dont tempt yourself, he made a choice to betray you. He should be the one to make the move to get back, so you have the choice to say yes or no.

[@renzjacob7380]

I need this

[@sandrasandrasandrasandra2285]

Thanks 💙 Yaa single life isn't easy but who is single? Hehe 🤔

[@hdc1236]

Very good

[@vincentbos]

Thank you

[@Jus-Too-Smoove]

Bro I love your videos, but too many times you say, “if you do everything right” , you know damn well we didn’t start by doing the right thing. 95% of us begged and pleaded, accepted friendship, sent letters and all that shit. I mean I laugh about it now, but before that shit made me cringe like crazy. I don’t think you should say to do everything right because that just feels like a lot of pressure. Great videos though for real.