259. Is the Dumper happy? (Is the dumper hurting too?)

[@charliemvrphy]

Before I even watch the video, I’d like to let you all know, your ex is trying their hardest not to think about the break up. They care about you, they love you but they are trying to find happiness within themselves. A situation that happened to me the last time I talked to my ex was that she told me she cried every single time I would leave or every time we would end a conversation post break up. They are hurt just like we are but they are trying to justify their decision and come off as stronger than they really are. We tend to forget the personality of our ex, the feelings that our ex’s have and paint them with this brush that they are ruthless and cold hearted people. If that was the case, why would you date them? We need to remember that breakups are stressful and emotional for all parties involved and just because they put a smile on their face for social media (which you shouldn’t be looking at) doesn’t mean that they aren’t crying at the thought of you and them together. So, it’s important to be easy on yourself but also, be easy on your ex.. they are trying to be happy just like you and I. So, stay strong and keep pushing forward. You’ve made it this far, I have faith that you can make it even further!

[@awilliams310]

Wow. Compassion, empathy and kindness. That was beautiful to read. Thank you.

[@littlechili4780]

That helped relieve some animosity towards my ex. I hadn’t thought they she might just want a smile too. Wish I could say sorry to her but I’ll say thank you for helping me open my eyes a little

[@charliemvrphy]

Trufflufigus I’m glad to hear that. It’s hard to remember that no one has the answers and it’s very easy to take everything done to us on a personal level. Most important part of growth and love is forgiveness for yourself and for those who have hurt you and wronged you.

[@nicolasrodriguez3499]

Thank you for saying that.

[@littlechili4780]

@@charliemvrphy Very powerful wisdom brother. Thank you, it's so hard to see past the screen and understand our ex is human. I think the anxiety just really clouds your judgment in these situations. I took a picture of your original comment to re-read for when I get upset or anxious with my ex

[@catyb1278]

Went through a pretty hard breakup in January and I just wanted to tell you that you literally saved my life ❤️ your videos kept me sane and now 5 month later we are actually back together

[@TheLoveChat]

No Caty, YOU saved your life. I'm very proud of you! Thank you for your support!!

[@ashley4926]

How long were you in no contact ??

[@kalzara2533]

@@ashley4926 rt

[@allanjay2540]

Huhu. I hope we will get back together.

[@nicolasrodriguez3499]

You are so lucky! Congrats! I'm envious.

[@yusellawinda4744]

The comments section makes me feel not alone :') we're in this together guys

[@TheLoveChat]

Exactly!!

[@THATSSOJADE_]

Yass girl!

[@l.k.1111]

Yes, yes!! 🙌😇🙌 We got this! There will be tough times and easier times, but these help so much!

[@nicolasrodriguez3499]

You are definitely not alone. Stay strong.

[@davidv.3135]

We are not alone. I"m sad but I will be ok. Hope you are doing well.

[@TheJamezay]

The hardest defeats give the largest knowledge, the toughest struggles give the strongest resolve, be strong and be true to yourselves, I hope all those that want their ex back that you get your wishes and those that have moved on more power to you, 2020 will go down in history as the year the earth had a breakup, lets make 2021 the reconsiliation and the rebirth.

[@TheLoveChat]

Such a great attitude, James!

[@mzeye]

Yes seems like more breaks ups and trauma this year

[@robinallen91111]

I love this comment,thank you!!

[@pennylane6224]

Breakup during pandemic even harder, I can't go out, can't hang out. Feels like miserable at home & I live alone. Hope this too shall pass eventho it feels like hell.

[@georgepanagiotou8673]

I’m with u and it’s terrible. Figures we’re going through this right now 🤦🏻‍♂️ but be strong we will get through in it time.

[@nikkimccumisky]

Stay strong 👊

[@tailored-made9540]

Right there with you

[@allyvee5771]

Snap!

[@lisat5666]

Same Oct 27

[@sfindlay3181]

It’s been over a year since I broke up with my ex, we haven’t got back together but these videos have been great to help me get through the bad times and to help understand why the break up happened and help me prepare for my next relationship, with whoever that may be with.

[@TheLoveChat]

I am so glad to be of help, Alfie. Thank you for your support!

[@MikeJackson690]

I'm with you guv'nor*, 15 months for me. Rory's work still helps, eh? Great to be part of the community. I hope you're well. *Yes, that was an Alfie Moon reference

[@MyWendywoo]

You broke up with your ex? You'rer the one to resolve?

[@sfindlay3181]

Josh Keating no, sorry, I can see how that looks, I was the person that got dumped

[@asiamiller6833]

Did they ever reach out

[@Mikeh2077]

Honestly, I don’t know if she’s happy. I’m just letting her live her life. She’ll reach out if she wants too, I’m not gonna hold my breath though.

[@shamakiooglesby6418]

And that's the mindset you have to have. If they reach out... Great. If not the world will continue turning.

[@stormfalcon72]

Michael Haney I am gonna hold my breath, though.... I’ve started doing the Wim Hof (Iceman) breathing techniques. Working miracles for my breakup anxiety and depression 😤

[@Mikeh2077]

stormfalcon72, it’s all temporary, bro. It’ll pass.

[@MikeJackson690]

Of course she's happy. She even told me that she was happier without me and didn't regret her decision. For who I thought was the most empathetic and nicest woman I knew, she hit me with some soul-destroying lines after we broke up which still echo in my head. However, it's 15 months later and I'm doing well, living pretty comfortably alone, have a better mindset than ever and have just been for a jog and realised how unfit I am. Damn it 😅 So, to anyone reading and feel as shit as I felt 15 months ago, you will get there. Wade through the bog for as long as it takes, there's dry land on the other side. I'm up to my ankles now after almost drowning. You'll make it 🙂 Edit: Listened through. You nailed it again, Rory.

[@TheLoveChat]

Much appreciated. :)

[@pascal6158]

Did she ever reach out again?

[@MikeJackson690]

@@pascal6158 Nope. She's now with someone who I used to regard as one of my best friends, as far as I know. I blocked them both for my sanity. I hope to never see them again.

[@pascal6158]

General Waste Damn, that is like the worst case I could imagine. Makes me feel better about my ex dating some random guy I don't know. I wish you all the best!

[@MikeJackson690]

@@pascal6158 Thank youz and yeah, it was harrowing. He called me out of the blue at the end of February and told me. He'd been distant for some time, so I thought he was calling to patch this up, but instead he told me with no regret whatsoever. I told him he'd made his choice (a relationship with my ex or his and I's friendship) and left it at that. Next day, under the most stress and anxiety I've ever felt (after losing my ex last year I fell into a deep, suicidal depreasion), I suffer a seizure and break my shoulder in 3 places. Surgeons fixed it, but it'll never look, feel or move in the same way for the rest of my life. Weirdly, the event shook me out of depression and I've been better since. He's been removed from my life and I'm better for it. He often made me feel terrible about myself, so good luck to my ex putting up with someone like that. (Sorry for the life story, was helpful to type it out!)

[@RachelLouiseSwann]

My ex told me that deleting, blocking and ending a relationship could be done with a snap of the fingers. A total demon from hell. Begone!

[@tiktokersbeauty3044]

Aww

[@emocentofficial3487]

When my ex was pulling away, I told her "but I love you" she said:- "not my problem" 😔 I couldn't believe that moment but now I am in no contact and can understand that moment better, that's why Rory always say take a step back from your anxiety spirals to see a better view. She was right "that is my problem" you never want to force your love or anything on anyone in your life. Best line by Rory " your ex is not greater nor worse than you make them" cannot agree more. Thank you Rory to ease our pain ❣️

[@stormfalcon72]

Emocent Official My ex said on the breakup phone call, “Why does it have to be such a big deal? Why is it so hard for you to just walk away?” She’s a Dismissive Avoidant you see and I’m a Preoccupied Anxious... so she simply couldn’t understand why I was so hurt by her Slow fading, breadcrumbing and subsequent breakup. Almost two months since that call and no contact.

[@emocentofficial3487]

@@stormfalcon72 only time can help you heal. I know how it feels. But stay true to your purpose and stick to NC

[@stormfalcon72]

Emocent Official Definitely! Thank you 🙏

[@bosschedda_]

She is cold hearted.

[@jeremiahbrunkala]

Is my ex happy? I don't know. Am I happy? Hell yes, I am.

[@Fuzzify]

It’s been like half a year since the breakup. I’m still sad sometimes, yes. I’m also sometimes happy. And fucking hell I hope she’s happy. I get y’all hold on to a hope they aren’t happy and that they’ll come back to you, but that’s not how love works. You’ve probably told your ex at some point you’d do anything to make her happy, right? Well, let her be happy. Let her grow. Cherish the time you spent, but don’t dwell on it. Move forward and grow. Become happy. Become happy that she’s happy. That’s what love is. Your ex isn’t evil for breaking your heart, but rather kind for not being fake to you, assuming things ended on good terms. Work on yourself and be happy, cause that’s what attracts an ex back :) or maybe someone better fit for you

[@arspln1104]

After my ex broke up with me last dec. 2019 I almost die, Days of crying months of missing someone but day by day i feel better.. This radio helps me a lot, realizing that I can do better and can live without my ex, Now I feel better now 100 percent😅❤️

[@TheLoveChat]

I'm very glad to help!

[@arspln1104]

You help a lot of people brother rory! God bless you❤️ please keep on doing more videos🙏🏻

[@lacieb716]

27 days NC. These videos are the best! For me I see no contact as something indefinite unless an ex reaches out. Only then can the ball be in your court with them. Right now I’m doing more for myself so I can stop the cycle of toxic relationships lol. Thanks for all your help Rory! It was great to catch up!

[@TheLoveChat]

Thank you for your support, Lacie!! Great talking to you too. :)

[@Digitalizedx]

32 days hang in there

[@danlogrono8675]

Yo these videos are helpful asf!! My ex broke up with me on November 2019, spend 8 months literally close to a year but of course things don’t turn out to be. And I found out that she quickly got into a relationship with her best guy friend literally 1 month after a breakup! And that solves the question if my ex is happy from her social media. For people who are going through this, let them be and you do you and work on yourself!

[@TheLoveChat]

Yes!! Exactly!

[@hirawarraich4027]

My ex also broke up with me on 3rd November. Still I don't contact him again. No pleading. I just accepted his decision.I save his number and his what's app status frequently shows me. It means that he also doesn't delete my number. But who cares? I will contact him again when I will be successful in my life. But I won't do it for again starting relationship. I just wanna tell him my inner strength without him.

[@leog4109]

It’s been over a year that me and my ex are no longer together and I see her around my town because she works here but after I see her I started to notice that I can’t remember how she looks like. She’s slowly fading away. Never thought that this would happen but it is and I’m glad

[@tectons8371]

Trust me they hurt a lot I have been in both sides of the spectrum and I know, when I dumped an ex long time ago I felt empowered and that my value had risen by a lot,I was ok the first week but then I started missing her...so I spended the next 6 months of my life thinking of her and trying to hang around to places where she was when finally i decided to text her in her birthday and she had no interest at all to talk to me this is when I finally decided that it was finally over..now that I got dumped I realized that it is the best thing that ever happened to me it gave so much motivation to grow physically and mentally..work on your self people keep your mind busy,set goals and at some point the dumper will reach out again..the point is are you gonna want them back? Probably not.

[@jackc3127]

Thank you a bunch Rory💙 Been nearly a month since break up and I probably would have drowned in anxiety if it weren’t for you and the The Dating Guy🙌

[@TheLoveChat]

Thank you for your support, Jack! Happy healing!

[@user-ee9xx9qn1p]

my ex from about 9 years ago reached out to me yesterday and tried to reconnect LOL he said that he never stopped thinking about how we ended. and he regrets it because i was awesome. it honestly made me laugh to read it. not the ex i wanted to reach out, haven’t thought about that guy in years but it was funny how after all this time he still reached out and tried to get together. when he dropped me at the time it was probably the worst thing ever but looking back he was nothing but a lesson. they always come back when you’re living your best life. i’m staying optimistic in hopes that my most recent ex will reach out to me, but either way i know one day i’ll look back and be okay. :)

[@efficient_pluto]

@@louiselouise8133 Wow, that is just plain stupid and immature!😌He should have either put his ego aside and contacted you 20 yrs ago, or just moved on and not comparing other women to you. That just makes them even more miserable!

[@CorporateQueen]

Oh who cares? He never cared about my happiness.

[@TheLoveChat]

More power to you! That's basically what is discussed in the video. We can't prove what they are/aren't thinking but we CAN prove that the process of self love WILL improve you! Place the power in yourself!

[@tiktokersbeauty3044]

Dont just focus own your happyness when you are in a relationship. Dont forget your boyfriend had a life too.

[@CorporateQueen]

@@tiktokersbeauty3044 I didn't. He did.

[@HGooDMorninG]

2 years passed and still suffering every single day...

[@drad1070]

I wish you all the best sir

[@_Scarlett.t]

We are all single here . Let's date each other 😆

[@Rishav_lfc]

Haha... We are the dumpees 😆

[@cocotheblackcat3209]

@@Rishav_lfc 😆😆

[@saidabdul2791]

Now you're talking

[@hannahforsyth5551]

Lol this is funny

[@jornkirkengard8238]

Yes!

[@jessicahernandez1853]

This is exactly what I was asking myself this week. I'm starting to feel much better after almost 3 months and I wonder if he is starting to feel happy again too. I know that as I'm going to get over the relationship he will too at some point and it feels weird to know that but at the same time it has to happen from both sides so we can be totally free and leave that person and relationship in the past, is something that you can almost feel in an energetic way. I don't know if I feel sad about him getting over me, it just feels weird for now, we haven't contacted each other or follow on social media almost since the breakup, haven't heard anything about him so I guess he just wants to move on as much as I want to.

[@user-xr7bi7qt1k]

Hahah I am in the same situation right now as yours.

[@guyguyguy2020]

My ex broke up with me Feb. 2020. A 5yr relationship, and living together. Before I moved out, I asked my ex for a last dance with our song. ( Elvis Presley- Cant help falling in love.) We danced, we kissed and told her I love you and then grab my things and left. A few days later her mom and sister asked me what I did to her. She fell into depression, called into work sick, locked herself in her room, she didnt eat for 4 days. I know she hurting. She ain't gonna find anyone like me, that loved her as much as I did. 🤷‍♂️ have been in NC since then.

[@Andrean011710]

Dude what. Thats though bro..., hope u and she doing well

[@guyguyguy2020]

@@Andrean011710 nah bro, haven't text, called, or asked about her. The more time passes, you feel alot better. I got my self-confidence back. The funniest thing is that her so called "friends" are trying to get at me. Now that they know we aren't together. Makes you wonder if they were waiting for us to split or had anything to cause the breakup.🤔

[@Andrean011710]

@@guyguyguy2020 I See bro. Stay strong you guys!

[@MathMadeSimple777]

What pains me the most is that he’s just moved on with his life. Not thinking or caring about me...

[@leemaclennan2832]

In my case, he broke off with me, fast forward 2 years, said I can't give you more ? ? ? WHAT ? ? ? I did no contact for 6 months, went to reach out on Thanksgiving. NOTHING 😢😢. I dropped all my walls, went FULL FORCE in with my heart, he leaves with a vague excuse. It has been almost 1 year, NOTHING 😢😢😢. Never got full closure. Who knows if found someone else ??? Even speaking about it, left a bee stinger in my heart. Did he ever love me ? Maybe you can help me. 😔 Hug and loves to all your viewers ! Guard your 💖.

[@TheLoveChat]

If you want online therapy check out BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/Rory - (Get 10% off using that link!) I am sponsored by BetterHelp and receive a commission. Lil mental health never hurt anyone. Do you need more support from the community? Join our Discord: discord.gg/HXV4FVX

[@yzwoody]

My girl ended things stating that she had nothing left in reserve due to her daughters death eight months prior. As much as it hurts I did not find it I even told her I am not going to fight this I will miss you if you change your mind get a hold of me then I told her goodbye she said OK goodbye for now. Three days later I get a text message saying she hopes I’m doing well since then almost once per week I would get a reach out message from her sometimes to talk about random stuff that had nothing to do with anything then she would disappear after one or two messages this happens every week for about a month now it’s been a month since I have heard from her I have done nothing but work on myself since then and I know I am a much better version of myself but her actions really confuse me and I don’t get it I’ve made a choiceTo MoveOn and just do the best I can with my life but there’s no sense in lying I really do hold out some hope that she will realize what we had and reach out because up until that point we have nothing but great times and told each other everything

[@yzwoody]

Thank you very much for your content it truly helps

[@martinhebblewhite4659]

Hey guys ... I know it's incredibly hard ... I've been there big time ... but please get over your ex ... someone better is out there for you .. It took time ... alot of work but now I'm with someone who simply eclipses my Ex ...indeed all my Ex's a hundred times over ... TIME TIME TIME give it time ... stay blessed

[@uhhTears]

My ex seems so happy :( she left me moved in with her friend and is leaving her work all in the space of a week. She’s already on a dating app and is following loads of new guys. Man it hurts

[@sisi4583]

she is trying to forget you..

[@l.k.1111]

Love your honesty. Mind reading when heartbroken can be difficult because we fill in what we don't know with things we fear they're thinking and/or things that may not be true for our ex. Mind reading often comes (for me) when I have a memory of me and him and then I pose a mental question and my mind after the breakup tries to fill in the blanks with things that don't make sense like, "He hates you, otherwise he would have reached out by now like he did before..". And I mean mind-reading in the sense that Rory uses it. This video gave me a good reminder about that...don't do it! I catch myself more now and stop the thought before I cry. But I needed this video content, as always...each video has a "something" that I take away from each one. A jigsaw puzzle to healing, and taking one day at a time I am putting the pieces together. Healing is possible! There will be set backs and triggers, but just never give up...betterment of self, because if we don't get back a 4th time, I will still be better than we brokeup...🙏

[@fabiansims1887]

Hard to put it into words, but great description

[@shubhankargaur6075]

Our happiness is within ourselves..Thanks for keeping me motivated during this hard time of mine..God Bless you..♥️

[@TheLoveChat]

You are welcome!

[@lightlight2825]

I'm a dumper. My ex and i broke up 4 weeks ago, and no, I'm not happy in our breakup, in fact it's one of the hardest thing i did in my life, being forced to leave the man i love wholeheartedly. As I said, i was forced to break up because i felt that i wasn't valued. I came to the point where I'm finally too tired of trying to fixed something and lost myself to it. I felt that it's the time i have to end the relationship because no matter how much i care and love the person, i am nothing to him even though he mean so much to me. At the end it’s not my pride, it’s my self respect. At the time of the breakup i am 100% sure of my decision. But after a couple of weeks i had doubts if i did the right thing and i really really wanted him back. I did NC since day 1. Then lately thru stalking his fb (cause I've gone mad he's not contacting me either i cant stop the urge 😥), i found out he's in new relationship 3weeks after we broke up. I was crushed, felt insignificant, and humiliated. I hate him a lot. Well until now... But this gave me the reason to not regret dumping him... And I've got the closure i needed. Guess i just really have to move on. And I DON'T WANT HIM BACK.

[@sulsimsn0579]

Dude, I've been listening to your videos for the past couple of months and you have helped me out a great deal. I've been a subscriber since I ran into this channel and I want to thank you for your help. I was discarded by my daughter's mother a few months ago when she moved back to Texas from Oklahoma. And since the use of no-contact (in short spurts), and the advice of self improvement has helped me get back my ex and we are now engaged to be married. Of course I know what I did wrong. And making her acknowledge her fault in the breakup has been hell. But we're getting back together for the sake of our children. I told her that even if she divorced me after all the crap she put me through, she's not leaving my house and we're still having sex.....even if we hated each other 🤣🤣🤣 I was joking...but she knows I'm serious too. I have big hopes for us in the future. Thanks again for your videos.

[@TheLoveChat]

You are very welcome!

[@afcfishwick]

My ex left me because she told me that she wasn’t ready for anything more serious. The relationship had literally no bad points, it was only 3 months so wasn’t long enough to allow any negative patterns to come under the spotlight. I believe that they told me the truth and maybe they will come back because we had such a great time but thanks to Rory and DG, I know that it’s not a given so I should focus on what I can control and rebuild myself to the point I was when I met them… Happy and enjoying everything life had to offer. I know how desperate it can be when you’re in the immediate throws (I’m at 4 weeks post break) but if you seriously take the time to reflect on what you can improve about yourself and start taking the steps… it gets better ❤️ Much love to all going through the pain x

[@valentinepetric3689]

This speaks aloy of truth, and i feel it, i felt it when she told me shes keeping busy and shes happy about it. I know it wont last forever and she is feeling all this pressure being lifted off her and freedom but i know her ways and how she is as a human and i know that soon enough she will want a routine of good habits. While shes out enjoying her free time and working on herself so am I and i am working harder than ever. We have a chance to meet up again in the future and when we do I will be a new version she has never seen. I know this will pull her in closer than before and we will be able to start over

[@jazmir8138]

update on your situation?

[@thricegreat72]

little over 3 weeks in no contact and im already starting to make peace with it. i still have my ups and downs ofcourse but im biting down and keeping at it. i havent been this busy in years so that helps as well. i still would want to try it again with this girl but i'm leaving it in the hands of the universe, while i focus on enhancing myself in every way. it will get better folks, the fact that you are here already means that you are on the right path.

[@coreybart2783]

Any update?

[@nexttytreporter2598]

I hope she is, I hope she is enjoying her new found freedom and life.

[@hidefinishon12]

You really are my favorite coach out here. High quality, realistic insightful awareness delivery. Thank you, much appreciated!

[@emilianovalencia1162]

These videos freakin motivate to be better not just for me, but for everybody. I’m a very sensitive guy who will get mad at very little things and my ex didn’t like that about me and she broke up with me for it. And it’s going to be a month after no contact and it’s gotten better but I’m miss her, not as much as I did at the beginning of the break up. She was a great girl and I know it’s my loss. And we were so happy threw out the 2 years. And that’s why I’m focusing on myself to be better and overall just grow as person. Thanks Rory, hopefully we can work things out in the future (:

[@m.a6899]

it’s so weird how it just clicks at some point. Tomorrow it will be 2 months of NC for me and now, Im in complete peace with my situation. I now don’t even care if she cares or if she is happy or not and if she even finds a new guy, I wont know because i don’t look at her social media. She has been keeping tabs on me by way of mutual friends from the sound of it. Dont care. Simply not my concern anymore. Moving on is like learning how to walk, it just happens one day. Just listen to this man, stay NC and it will get easier. Just let your brain find a new homeostasis and you will be fine. PS: I spit my drink out of laughter at that 8:25

[@TheLoveChat]

I hope the drink wasn't coffee. Never let good coffee go to waste!

[@m.a6899]

The Love Chat Oh no, god forbid! It was just hot Cocoa

[@IpsensFury]

Just want to drop my comment to say keep up the good work and tell all you guys in the comments. I used to be a member of the discord, it was a very helpful place where I made good friends who I still speak to and learnt a lot about relationships and breakups. My ex and I got back together in November and we are now in the process of moving in together. Just keep up the hard work and things will come your way. Listen to Rory. He preaches good advice 😊😊

[@TheLoveChat]

Glad to hear you are doing well! Congratulations on your reconciliation!

[@lisahiersekorn8621]

This video made me tear up. I think i'd be a great candidate for your guest spot. Being one who has been the dumper and the dumpee in the same 10 year relationship :(

[@joylin1898]

My last message to her.. " I love you with all my heart" and I posted a song in social media I told her that's for her. She didn't even respond to that message up to now. I was hurt that she just ignore me. After that, I didn't reach out to her I'm in no contact for 22days now. I saw her post in social media those sad thoughts. Still I'm thriving not to talk to her because I want her to realize and learned from it and express her true feelings.

[@subyawana]

It doesn’t matter to me now as i moved on with the help of Rory long back. M just here as a friend to hear my KZbin buddy Rory. Love from india 🇮🇳 ♥️♥️

[@10imbahashimgulzar75]

I'm in no contact too, not counting the days of course as if i care, but damn made me feel so weak at the end.

[@TheLoveChat]

Stay strong, Mohammed!

[@shaniamoonsamy7208]

I needed to let go for my sanity. I want him to be happy even if it's without me. 😔 Such a genuine video. Well done Rory...

[@TheLoveChat]

So glad I can help!

[@tim0n4life]

I’m afraid that they will eventually be happy and I’m stuck in this. That’s my biggest fear.

[@efficient_pluto]

You won't! Let me tell you that I used to have the same mindset. I turned it into a race, constantly thinking: "who will move on faster?! Is he already dating again?" Now 10 months after break-up and NC, I just don't care about him anymore. I finally moved on. Of course, if I saw him walking around with a new gf, it would hurt a bit. But that'd be my ego hurting. I also don't even care about his stuff being in my closet anymore. Actually, I came to accept that he will never ask to have it back and decided to keep it. Especially, his morning robe and his NASA hoodie. It felt weird at first but I soon started to see it as "my" property now. My ex doesn't know what he's missing out! 😁

[@joeb5578]

It's good to hear you talk, Rory. I go back and forth with my feelings. I was doing pretty good for a month or so and now things are back to just thinking about her. And of course the dreams come back is if she's still in my life. My dreams are so detail filled that it kind of scares me. lol It's been 10 months since the split. So who knows what's next. :) Thanks

[@TheLoveChat]

You are very welcome!

[@Ivsglam]

Day 10 of NC...Still hurts like hell but we move regardless...Your videos are really helping thou🥰

[@TheLoveChat]

You got this! I'm glad I can help!

[@ZFCRacer]

Great video Rory. Continuing to work on myself. If she comes back wonderful. If not Ill be that much better for the next person in my life. It's still nice to know this info on their process. Keep up the good work.

[@TheLoveChat]

Thank you very much! Glad I could help!

[@deepikabali9199]

Rory always gets to the point as fast as possible... I love his piece of advice 😍😊❤️💞 Thank you so much for healing tons of hearts Rory everyone loves you🌹🌹💞💞

[@TheLoveChat]

So glad I can help, Deepika!

[@deepikabali9199]

@@TheLoveChat you are awesome and you have changed lives. I know you are not so social but can I talk to you in person some day and share my experiences please??😊😊🙈😍😍💞💞🌹🌹 It will be great to hear from you soon on this.

[@vibe8517]

I have forgiven my ex , myself and all people i thought are involved in it, has grown as person . And explored spirituality

[@TheLoveChat]

A definite sign of growth!

[@Leo-fk3fh]

This man really does help

[@tybennion1]

My ex and I split about a month ago. Two weeks after the split, I found out that she was already sleeping with someone else and confronted her about monkey branching. Shes adamant that it didnt happen nor did any cheating. She however is so angry with me still despite her being the one the quit on the relationship. I cant even express how painful it is to see someone you loved care so little for you so quickly, along with being replaced almost immediately.

[@tbri5511]

I’m in your position bro. Don’t take it personally sometimes people make decisions which don’t make sense & may end up being a massive mistake. Work on yourself and improve your life she’ll soon realise it was definitely a mistake!

[@tybennion1]

@@tbri5511 Appreciate it. Wish I was as optimistic as you. Still having nightmares, waking up at 3am constantly and waking up/going to sleep depressed. Staying NC though and bettering myself in the meantime. Never let them see you sweat.

[@tbri5511]

John Smith yeah totally get where you’re coming from I’m still struggling. The way I see it is though, no matter whether you get to a point where you can get back with them or if you never get that opportunity, sitting around not moving forward will not help either outcome. If they come back and you’re in the same place, why would they gain attraction again? Also how do you know that the decision you make isn’t just because you never got over them? You want to be with someone because you’re happy and you feel they are a good addition to your life :)

[@lols5851]

I dont know why I am addicted to watching Rory's videos all the time...Even though I dont want my ex back and I am wayyy over him now and Now my ex, He is showing sign of regret. 😁lol You know what Rory? The only reason I love watching you is that "You actually love helping people" 😊 And Your videos just satisfy me! Very few people in the world actually "love and enjoy their profession" and you're one of them.❤ Because many a times people choose a certain profession just to earn huge amount of money even If they spill garbage from their mouth. and this is why idiot channels like "Brad Browning, Chris Sieter (Bitch) , Love Advice T.V (Especially Coach Adrian), Have Huge Prices and All they do is what? Give shitty and unsatifying answers which just shoots up our anxiety even more. . They are very few people like you who loves their profession and loves helping people. Please, Always keep doing this good work❤ You're like an angel to all of us❤

[@TheLoveChat]

This was a very sweet comment , thank you Lola. You made me smile today! :)

[@lols5851]

@@TheLoveChat Aaaww❤Thank you!! You make us smile everyday :)

[@flower6186]

he's happy and purposely hurting me. Him and his friends. I had to block him, even when I still want him back but he hurt me. I don't know anything anymore.

[@xxmikansei]

any update?

[@flower6186]

@@xxmikansei we good now! :D but we ain't talking and i hope one day we will!

[@nickcugini3842]

Hey Rory, Your videos have helped me so much and has given so much knowledge to me regarding my breakup situation. I booked an hour coaching session with you the other day but wish it was a bit sooner to help me understand and relieve some of the mental confusion/racing thoughts and agony I’m currently dealing with by wondering if I have been monkey branched or not and need help as to what exactly has happened. She has cut me out of her life completely immediately after the last time we saw each other. This came from me asking about the last condom she had at her house that I noticed that was now missing. After admitting she slept with an old friend from another state she invited over while we were on a “break” couple weeks prior to the actual breakup. Her and I were still contacting calling/texting each other everyday like normal during this “break” period of time. ( as if we weren’t even on a break) meanwhile I was working 400 miles away from home. No idea she was hanging out with this other guy. I kept my cool after her telling me. Just calm and understanding Immediately afterwards I felt emotionally numb and confused and also a sense of me wanting to feel closer with her having a series of emotions hitting all at once. We had long passionate sex afterwards for the last time right after her telling me she slept with someone else. (I’m not sure why but strangely I just wanted to feel close to her or perhaps “reclaim” I still don’t know ) She was confused by my reaction at first but mutually we shared our strong unique connection making love again for a long period of time. I then left her house and said I needed to leave to process things not knowing that I would never see her again. I went home feeling so emotionally hurt,confused,lost and devastated realizing where I was at. She hasn’t blocked my number or anything just unfriend/unfollow on fb and Instagram She has gone completely silent and would not answer my calls or texts the next day. I’m trying to do the work by bettering myself doing everything recommended exercise/nature/books/meditation etc. to help heal and distract my mind off of her. While remaining in NC I find myself constantly obsessing over the situation dealing with the anxiety of separation and truly missing her and the real love/strong chemistry we shared. Im constantly kicking myself about things I could have done and changed instead of focusing too much time/energy into my small business as a welder causing imbalance in the relationship. I am currently in NC and have been for about 1.5 months (since 5/3/20) except for a 12 minute phone conversation 2 weeks ago on (6/2/20) initiated by me while holding back my emotions seeing if it was ok with her to for me to drop off a cactus on her front porch she gave as a gift. (It kills me to look at it everyday) the phone conversation she started to cry and seemed pretty emotional. I can’t tell if her emotions were fueled by guilt/regret or her missing me. She said that she didn’t want the cactus back and would only remind her of me. She also said that she wants to give back some of my things I left at her house while we were together. She said but it’s too hard and emotionally painful to see me right now but said she will give back my things when she is ready. I then asked during our phone conversation if she still was willing to work and help change the issues/doubts she had in our relationship that she addressed via an email she sent while on a “break” few weeks prior the actual breakup. While sobbing on the phone She replied no... I then asked her why She then said she “felt unhappy and unfulfilled” towards the end. I said “ok I understand “ I told her that I still love her and said bye. we hung up and have been in NC since then. That was (6/2/20) I guess I have too many questions about what happened and would be grateful for your perspective If you have time and could help me out with this I would be so grateful. Thanks Rory, keep up your good work and thank you for helping people every day who deal with these hard life issues.

[@abbelabbe7912]

Went threw a break up two weeks ago, she wanted to meet up and talk and i already knew what was coming,, but it came right out of the blue for me. She said that she dident know what she was doing in life and felt lost and dident know if she loved me anymore, of corse i broke down becuse i realy cared for her but i wasent angry, We have never argued and we never did so during the breakup eather, she said that she cares depaly for me But that she couldent lie about her loving me the same way i did for her. First week i was devistated and only cried, and then i realised that i have to improve myself to be truly happy, so i have started training and reading books and right now i feel beter then ever. Not becuse im glad im not with her, i stell care for her and i have full understand why she brokeup. Peapel seem to forget that the dumper also has fellings and goes trew just as or Even harder things then you during the breakup, i havent said a bad word about her becuse i know No one is in the right or wrong here. And in our final meting We said that We hope bouth find another person that loves the other just as mutch as they do and that we hope for the other to be happy and sucesful in the future. I know its hard but you will get threw this guys and gals. If i can so can you❤️

[@LC-if9vv]

I'm finally over my ex and have moved on. I am happy. I hope he is happy in his life.

[@TheLoveChat]

Congratulations!!

[@dantimo5506]

7 months since the break up I'm still hurting miss her so much 💔

[@cherrybacon5154]

I think that nomatter how good and often the good times were, all it can take for someone to walk away is one single bad thing which can cause us to put ourselves and our own value first, whether it's a few weeks or years into a relationship as one act can undermine all the good. Depending upon the severity of the situation, it can be easy to walk away. 🍒

[@ibome466]

What if they dont party, drink, or post on social media. They just play a lot of animal crossing lol.

[@glamag3037]

To make a long story short, I was dumped on valentines day. Notice she was acting weird and ask if we could chat. I ask her if everything was okay and she blew up saying things like " im tired of this relationship, this relationship is going no where, I'm tired of living in this house etc". She made a quick call packed her suitcase and was gone. My wife doesnt cook, doesnt pay any bills, and is very selfish. Yes im in alot of pain and the moment but I refuse to ever call her a day in my life. Sorry 3 days later she message me and said dont worry about the divorce for now, don't worry about the pain im feeling because its natural and i miss you too but its over, woow! Good luck to the next dude.This is a 34 year old woman acting like 15yrs of age. 4 year marriage was a waste of time. Slowly picking myself back up! What a heartless person.

[@giovannimorgan8728]

What happened

[@roseaguirre3239]

This is so on point.. The dumper is NOT happy... In my situation 30 yrs (I know it ) I realized he will never quit his ways or his drug’s! Thank- you Rory .. my -ex is still begging me and it’s sad.. I get no joy in this 😔

[@zahrahmohammad4047]

My ex broke up with me a month ago, we had a beautiful thing for 2.5 years, he broke it due to having pressure from work and his family he wanted to find himself nd restart his life. He said that he still loves me and cares and respects me but he can't handle peer headache of trying to juggle things.I cried but didn't want to put pressure on myself to get back together and I know he was devastated to to brake it off. I was sad for a couple of days but i know he misses me a lot but nothing can be done. I know he will fix things and come back to me soon coz I was his rock and he used to compare me to his mom alot.

[@micaelabatac1723]

He cared about my happiness thats why he left. He told me i deserve better and that cannot be him after 28 months of dating.

[@olian4199]

Hi Rory! you're the only straight-forward channel I admire. I wouldn't imagine my breakup without your channel, truly one of the best clicks I've ever come across on KZbin. However, please do more videos about cheating and what are the best ways to deal with it. for those who never want their ex back, but struggle to move on. Thank you!

[@MOTwaccoe]

I hope not, 26 years together and dumped, 4 kids and I have been in panic mode for the last 4 months and the pain is shit.

[@TheLoveChat]

You can do this - be strong and love yourself. Mold yourself into who you want to be now!

[@pinaopina]

My husband of 21 years also left. I recommend you acknowledge that your pain is there and just deal with it one day at a time. My main focus after that is to regain the happiness I had with or without him. I’m not relying on alcohol or shopping or other relationships. I’m just spending time on parks ponds etc just spending time with myself and friends. I find inner peace and eventually I will be happy again. After being separated for one and a half year I feel I’m very close.

[@alvertomartinez1455]

MOT hang in there bother. Keep yourself Busy. Going to the gym helps out a lot. Read self improvement books. And when you feel a little better start making friends. Start a little support system.

[@shaunajohnson307]

Can you do one on messy breakups. My husband and I can’t do no contact completely cuz of kids. It’s been 3 months. He moved in with a new girl 3 weeks later. (He left cuz he was “unhappy” and no longer was in love with me.... ) But it seems all he wants to do is fight with me. And he seems to think he has done nothing wrong. It’s been 3 months. In May we were doing way better. He was lingering at exchanges, texting more, even got some tears one day. But then I saw them together in OUR truck and I lost it. Now we can’t stop fighting again. He will be nice one day ask me for communication and then introduce my kids to his gf an hr later with out talking to me about it first. Then the next day fight with me over dirty dishes (who ever has the kids has the house)

[@mrawesome1096]

Hey Rory, It’s been a year now since I knew your channel. And you know what, you really helped me alot!! I grew as a person and I value myself even more. You really are a blessing to us that is in our dark times. Thank you for the wonderful journey! Love u rory no homo! Hahahahahhahaha

[@TheLoveChat]

I'm so glad I can help! Thank you for your support as well!

[@khayrinathirah5751]

I am healing right now, your videos are very helpful and hopefully i can progress and be a better partner in the future. Keep up the great work!

[@TheLoveChat]

Thank you for your support, Khayreen!

[@jornkirkengard8238]

Him: I’m moving on. Me: 1 week later Him: why you didn’t call or text me?!

[@giovannisamuel27]

I'll always hit the like button cause this channel has gotten me through so much. Rory does not disappoint.

[@TheLoveChat]

Thank you for the compliment!

[@smonaful]

Wishing everyone with a heart lots of love

[@monihuerta1385]

Thanks for everything... I am serious. You have helped me a lot, thank you so much.

[@TheLoveChat]

You are very welcome, Moni!

[@tomg2946]

You are a good man, Rory. Thanks very much for this.

[@TheLoveChat]

You're very welcome, Tom!

[@sandyshealingjourney]

Anyone here the dumper but feel like the dumped? Like you really had no other choice but to end it because it was that bad and you couldn't handle their crap another day, but they were the ones causing the ending? At least we have our self-respect ay?

[@awilliams310]

Amazing as always. Keep your heads up. Keep working on YOU. You can't go wrong when you work on yourself. I didn't see it....I couldn't. I was blinded by a broken heart and depressing thoughts. It gets better. Love to anyone hurting. Hang on....trust me.

[@TheLoveChat]

Exactly!

[@devilcwesker5980]

Is the dumper happy? Yes and No XD. Well me as a dumper I can testify that in general I am happy, much of my stress and anger came from having to worry about my partners actions and loyaty as she would lie alot. I still love her but at least I know I dont need her to be happy unlike her as she got into a rebound right away

[@westcoastvibes1193]

Yes, the stress from what they did over the course of the relationship was too much to bear. I left . Feeling better and becoming more myself again. I was sad but it was the best thing. Emotional abuse was too much for me to ever regret leaving.

[@devilcwesker5980]

@Diane sotelo the moment we realize that we become better people, we hope they can realize that but very few people find that happyness

[@lolliman21]

I've heard people cheat on people have other kids with people and still get back together. I look at the reason why my ex broke up with me and I'm just like really!

[@MiMi-ks8qq]

I needed this. 😞 Very timely, as always!!! Thank you.

[@TheLoveChat]

You're welcome!

[@jamiekagemori1299]

She says she’s better off without me, but she never says why. I’m trying to figure out why but...is there hope for me? She’s hesitant, distant, and not herself...

[@ivydune4185]

We had a very short affair. The timeline seems to be faster. He was not ready for a relationship...the first days he was silent and nostalgic; a week later he reached out; then slowly went back to his goals; a week later reached out for no reason but on a positive note, banter; then updated his social media to this cool guy persona, happy. In the mean time, adding new girls, those that post selfies and have hundreds of men liking. I bet he likes them too...But his smile seems genuinely happy. I texted him too like he did before: for the same no reason. He takes time to reply, he used happy emojis. But then he stopped replying.

[@ahmedchahid9105]

I have just discovered your channel and I have to admit that I liked your content and what I loved the most is how you number every video you post which makes it easier to scroll through your channel. I'm definitely subscribing.

[@TheLoveChat]

Glad you like it! Frankly it makes it easier on me too!

[@mikemwana5920]

Man, I really love your content you're the best!

[@TheLoveChat]

I appreciate that! Thank you for your support, Mike!

[@sabajanjua9323]

Requesting you to make a video on how one spouse (dumpee) can save their marriage amidst divorce!

[@armieestrong7059]

Woah, impeccable timing Rory.. I've been struggling to delete pictures of my ex because I thought I didn't *need* to delete the past, delete the memories. But every time I look at them I feel launched back a bit. I finally came to the conclusion that maybe holding onto these pictures was me holding onto the relationship. Even though I have moved on and don't wanna get back together with my ex, I'm still holding onto the past. So I finally got to deleting some pictures :) Not all of them, but its progress!

[@TheLoveChat]

Congratulations on your progress! Nicely done!

[@TheLepec93]

With the other pictures, I would recommend storing them somewhere you don’t have immediate access to. It’s a little easier to keep yourself from looking at them if they are stored out of the way. Best of luck to you.

[@bg104]

armieestrong - I suggest you do not delete the photos. Save them on a thumb drive or other file storage. DO NOT leave them in a place that’s instantly or easily accessible (cell phone, etc). Put the thumb drive in a place where you can’t readily access the photos or files, such as a your safe deposit box or in a locked safe, or at your Mom’s house, etc. Your relationship with this person was good for a period of your life. You probably loved them deeply (otherwise you wouldn’t be watching these breakup videos). No doubt you shared some memorable and wonderful times with this person. At some point your heart will heal, you will be over this ex, and you will be able to look back at the photos of this time of your life without pain. These photos are image captures of moments in time...they are a record of your life at this particular age. You will never be this age again! As you get older you will enjoy seeing pictures of a much younger you. It is a record of your life in a particular season. Yes, they are painful to look at now, and you should not look at them now. But some day looking at these photos won’t bring you pain. Unless your relationship was abusive or some sort of horror show, don’t erase the moments of your life. Every era, every moment of your life has value and meaning. Whatever age you are, you will never be this age again. Cherish the moments and enjoy the record later. Save the pictures and put them safely and securely away for now, far away from your aching heart. Trust me; someday in the future, when you are much older, like me, you will enjoy looking back at these photos of yourself, those captured moments in your life way back there in the year 2020 or 2019 or 2018...

[@armieestrong7059]

@@bg104 Thank you so much! This was the kindest, sweetest thing a stranger has ever said to me. And such incredibly lovely advice. I truly have taken these words to heart :) Thank you again for your kind words.

[@bg104]

armieestrong - thank you for telling me. I am pleased to know that my life experience and my words to you have been of help, and that they are appreciated. Every experience adds to your personal growth and your life story; you will be a different, hopefully much happier person from what comes out of this season. Blessings to you as you navigate through your healing.

[@myridean2k4]

For me, as a dumper, it's because past transgressions cannot be forgiven but it's very much a head/heart argument. It's tough but ending it was a healthier option than staying. The guy went on to find his future wife and still very much in love after learning & fixing his toxic behaviour. He had approached me several times before that to rekindle the relationship and we tried but it wasn't meant to be. I value trust above love and once it's damaged, it's harder to regain. It takes more time, more effort but having been in a long-time relationship, it can be done with honesty, transparency (Yes, full disclosure. It's ugly to hear but what's in our heads, we're imagining much worse than it is. So no lying via omission.) along mutual respect, appreciation and gratitude.

[@TheLoveChat]

I appreciate your input here as a dumper - thank you!

[@NR-ir1mv]

I’m at the point where I really want to block them in social media to help me get over them. Is this a bad idea?

[@TheLoveChat]

Not at all - do what is best for your mental health!

[@nikkimccumisky]

It's a protection barrier Do it 😉👊

[@keeplearning7884]

we will all be happy too shoutout to all the dumpees. genuine happiness is waiting for us. Let go and let time do the work.

[@eugeneroushe5524]

This matched my situation exactly she dyed her hair and got a nose ring... wow, hanging out with younger girls.

[@dantheeraiderfan1974]

Another Great vid Rory and of course Topic...Looking forward to our call tonight

[@TheLoveChat]

Can't wait, Dan! Thank you for your support!!

[@Miriam-ul4ke]

yes its easy to walk away if you are a dismissive avoidant, believe me they just supress anything and move on.

[@kitaradepena6753]

My ex keeps trying to force me to be his friend and hang out with him but I feel that since I want him back I can’t be his friend and I can’t hangout with him

[@juicesenpai1413]

Wouldn't do it as much you would love to, you are entering the friendzone or friend with benefits.

[@CeeP211]

My ex broke up with me almost a year ago. Be reached out three times. The first two times I responded and he disappeared. The third time I didn't. I found out 4 months after my breakup that my ex had (2) other girlfriends while we were together and secret dating apps. So he was both cheating and money branching.

[@shaheen9795]

They r happy for sometime just because they dumped someone.. It won't last long. As soon as dumpee focuses on his/her own life. Dumpee feels better with time while dumper starts to feel wt just happened n it makes dumper worse than ever before 😅.

[@tdbandara365]

Super what u said makes sense, kindly elaborate. Will help me so much, been through a lot recently heartache.

[@biancafelton6087]

Thank u for this... i thought i was okay. I was actually doing okay. But its been two months and now i start thinking about him again... this has helped

[@UnknownUnknown-ty9yg]

Excellent timing as always!

[@TheLoveChat]

Enjoy!

[@zk5294]

you are the best relationship coach in the world. I believe in you and I trust you. success story of Amsterdam ❤️

[@TheLoveChat]

This was very nice of you to say - thank you!!

[@hirawarraich4027]

Same question came into my mind. And then I have seen your video about it. You are really a mind reader 😆😆

[@TheLoveChat]

😁